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#dude skips meals and avoids certain food groups in hopes he'll stunt his growth and probably has ever since he started growing like this
purpldawne · 2 years
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ok so what if. hear me out on this one. midoteto suicide pact.
#ok so maybe i saw some translations from the current event#and i mean. i think constantly about how in motor show he joked that he 'wasnt any good at being depressed'#i feel like tetora doesnt really know about this kinda stuff and has a very narrow view of what depression is#like hes the type to think depression and being suicidal are the same thing. that you cannot be depressed if you dont wanna die.#which is why hes 'not good' at it#he DOESNT wanna die#at least he doesnt think he does#but he says in this event that if hes not loved or even liked he has no reason to exist.#and with everything rst has been thru with chiaki making everything a chiaki problem and not a rst problem and tetora#taking the fall for it more often than not as the leader of the yumenosaki division who is probably the most affected by those decisions#his help being constantly shrugged off by someone whos supposed to value teamwork above all else#that GETS to a guy#it gives the impression that he ISNT cared for. that he ISNT loved or liked or important to people.#and thats one of the worst side effects of chiakis stubbornness.#and with midori nothing ever seems to go in his favor#he was unwillingly put in the idol course because of his looks which hes super self conscious about#dude skips meals and avoids certain food groups in hopes he'll stunt his growth and probably has ever since he started growing like this#his genes failed him and now hes stuck in a position he never wanted to be in. he gets a lot of modeling work#which he hates bc it brings more attention to his looks#he was pulled into rst bc he had to go somewhere by a man with a hero complex as tall as midori#he stayed more out of convenience than anything. he stayed so chiaki wouldn't make a fuss about it#and while he did come to genuinely enjoy being an idol and came to love his unitmates#he still feels that inferiority constantly#and i think#in an emo way#it would be poetic if they felt they were the only people who would miss them if they died#so they die in each others company alone so that they arent without the one person who cares for them#ensemble stars#enstars#tetora nagumo
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