#and with midori nothing ever seems to go in his favor

[purpldawne]

ok so what if. hear me out on this one. midoteto suicide pact.

[everykindofnerd13]

The Adventures of Hayato Kamitani and his Life with the Kashimas

After highschool, Hayato and Ryuuichi moved in together in an apartment in their hometown. Ryuuichi was going to college for education so he could hopefully be a primary school teacher, and Hayato was going to school for a chemistry major, but he was actually on a scholarship for Baseball, which Ryuuichi couldn’t be more proud of him for. Unsurprisingly, Kotaro has been moved into the apartment with them as well.

And while he may only be 7 at the time, once he’s 9 at least he’ll want his own room, so Kotaro stops sleeping with Ryuuichi every night, in favor of staying in his own bed in the apartment. This meant that there was a special opening in Ryuuichi’s bed that Hayato was all too happy to take. There were nights that Kotaro would wander into the room, looking frantic, and Hayato would have to scoot away from Ryuuichi to allow the still surprisingly small child to snuggle between them.

It reminded Hayato of their first year dating, back in highschool. Kotaro was still only 4 years old and he still slept in the same bed as Ryuuichi. Hayato had stayed the night a couple of times, and had of course been forced to let his annoying little brother tag along, the toddlers always ended up tucked between Ryuuichi and himself, sleeping like, well, babies, while the teenagers smiled cheerily at eachother over their heads.

“Kotaro, can you go get Ryuu please?” He asked quietly one evening. Kotaro was sitting on the kitchen counter watching Hayato stir a pot of ramen. He looked up at the request and nodded dutifully, just like he would have when he was three.

“Thank you Ko!” He exclaimed after him then turned back to the pot.

Not even five minutes later Kotaro was hopping back up on the counter and Hayato felt his arm being pushed up as Ryuuichi wormed in between he and the stove to look at the pot of ramen.

“Well hello,” Hayato grunted, resting his chin on Ryuuichi’s head. Ryuu hummed and leaned back while Kotaro leaned over to put his head on Hayato’s shoulder. He chuckled, deciding to cherish these few years that Kotaro would join their cuddly moments rather than scrunch up his nose and make a face the way Taka did.

“Your mom called,” Ryuu muttered, pulling his two favorite quiet boys to attention. He almost laughed when they gave him practically the same look.

“Yeah, she was wondering if we could take Taka this weekend, apparently she made plans and forgot that you wouldn’t just be there, again.” Hayato groaned at the prospect of keeping his brother at his apartment for a weekend but when he saw the look in Kotaro’s eyes he felt his resolve practically disappear.

“Fine...” Hayato grumbled and Ryuuichi laughed.

“That’s good, because I’d already accepted,” Hayato glared at the pot of ramen but figures he couldn’t very well argue, considering he’d just accepted.

“You shouldnt make decisions without talking to Haya-nii, Nii-Chan,” Kotaro pointed out from next to his brother and (practically) brother in law. Both Hayato and Ryuuichi looked surprised at his words of wisdom but Ryuu actually looked down at his shirt in thought, brows pulled together in that cute way he always had when he was thinking particularly hard. He looked up apologetically at Hayato after a few seconds.

“He’s right, sorry Hayato,” Hayato only shook his head and kissed Ryuuichi’s forehead.

“It’s fine Ryuu, you didn’t do anything terrible,” Hayato conceded, “But I think it’s a good thing that Kotaro is so observant, otherwise I’d probably just let you push me around,” Ryuuichi laughed , pulling a similar chuckle out of Hayato’s lips. They bantered together for only a few minutes more before sitting down at the table to eat the now finished Ramen.

•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•

Ryuuichi wasn’t home when Hayato heard the apartment door open and close, and the telltale sound of Kotaro trudging to his room. This wouldn’t be so strange if Kotaro didn’t usually come to Hayato to ask for a snack, and then sat on the couch to eat it, not bothering Hayato for about thirty minutes before he would come in and ask for help on homework.

Hayato stood cautiously and walked quietly to the now 10 year old’s bedroom. It was decorated with pandas and ladybugs mostly, as those were his favorite things. There was nothing wrong with the childish room other than the clearly distressed child sitting in the middle of his bed, knees pulled to his chest as he choked back sobs that were racking his body. Hayato’s heart clenched seeing Kotaro like that, he rarely ever saw him cry, let alone son, and that was usually when Ryuuichi was in some kind of danger or he had been scolded.

“Kota?” He asked softly and the mint haired child gasped as he looked up at Hayato, eyes bloodshot and cheeks wet from tears.

“Hayato...”he muttered, voice far too deep and raspy for a ten year old boy.

“Can... I come in?” He asked carefully. Kotaro wasn’t very territorial, but if there was anything that both Hayato and Ryuuichi wanted to get across to him it was that this room was his space, he didn’t have to let Ryuuichi or Hayato in here, and he was free to do whatever he wanted in here, as long as he didn’t make it too big of a mess.

“Yeah...” Kotaro has muttered and Hayato had carefully walked over to the bed and sat down. He had never been much good at comforting, but he’d had a little practice with Ryuu and his stressful fits or frustration. He opened his arms, once again offering Kotaro the hug, in case the quiet kid didn’t want to be touched. Luckily, he practically sprang into Hayato’s arms, beginning to sob into his chest.

“What happened Kota?” He asked softly and the boy sniffles , still buried in Hayato’s chest. He began to rub up and down his back and run his fingers through his hair, this is what always calmed Ryuuichi down and it seems to work well for Kotaro as well.

“There were some kids at school...” Kotaro explained and Hayato immediately tensed, willing his overprotective senses to weaken, he needed to comfort Kotaro first.

“What did they say?” He asked softly and Kotaro hiccuped again.

“They said it was weird that I talk about you and Nii-Chan so much...” he elaborated, still shaking with silent sobs, “Then they said it was weird that I lived with my brother instead of my parents, and they wouldn’t stop calling me an orphan, but I’m not because you and Nii-Chan are my guardians, and I’ve still got Saihara and Obaa-Chan on top of that, I don’t understand why they would say that!”

Hayato hugged him tighter and kissed his head while Kotaro sobbed violently again.

“Kotaro, you’re not an orphan okay, and you’re not weird, and it’s okay to talk Ryuu and I, you’re in a unique situation and that’s okay, because you’re doing great,” he assured the child in his arms, “Don’t listen to those kids, some kids just don’t believe that you can be happy with a sibling, you saw how convinced Taka was when he was younger, and they’re probably angry that you’ve got such a good relationship with Ryu, okay?”

“I don’t want people to think I’m weird because my parents aren’t around, I can’t control that!” Kotaro shouted, and Hayato was admittedly taken aback, he had never seen the boy so angry.

“You’re right Kotaro, you can’t, but you also can’t control how other act, and what they say. What you can do is control the way you react,” Hayato soothed, rubbing Kotato’s back.

“When those kids say those things, ignore them, and tell a teacher, okay? And if the teachers don’t help, tell Taka, I’m sure he’d have plenty to say about it.” Kotaro nodded into his chest and then confused to cry. Hayato tried his hardest to be as comforting as possible for the next few minutes. Kotaro eventually fell asleep, curled together against Hayato like the man was a pillow.

Hayato heard the door open and close not even ten minutes after Kotaro fell asleep.

“Hayato?” He called, clearly confused by the lack of welcome from his fiance and brother sitting in the living room.

“In here!” Hayato called, trying to stay quiet but wanting Ryuuichi to hear him. He heard Ryuuichi appraching the bedroom door and when his fiancé popped his head in and saw Kotaro curled against Hayato, he was immediately not only confused but confirmed.

“What happened?” He asked quietly, sitting carefully on the bed next to Hayato and moving his hand to also run his fingers through Kotaro’s hair.

“Some little assholes making fun of him for living with his and not having parents,” he explained and saw the immediate anger on Ryuuichi’s face.

“That’s awful.”

“Yeah, like I said, Assholes.” Ryuuichi sighed and leaned his head on Hayato’s shoulder, looking concerned at his little brother.

“I knew it was almost inevitable that kids would question it but... that they would make fun of him baffles me...” Hayato hummed in agreement and kissed Ryuuichi’s forehead, moving the hand in Kotato’s hair to Ryuuichi’s running his fingers through his hair.

“Relax Ryuu, we can go talk to the teacher about it tomorrow when we pick him up, okay?” Ryuuichi nodded reluctantly and closed his eyes, falling asleep on Hayato’s shoulder.

•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•

Hayato was standing at the sink doing the dishes when he heard the all too familiar sound of a gaggle of teenagers entering his home. He sighed and turned off the water, placing the pan he’d been holding on the drying towel and reaching for the cupboard, he already knew what was to come.

He pulled down 6 mugs and started the kettle just as the teenagers came in to collapse at the counter. Kotaro stared off into space looking exasperated, Taka and Kirin dropped their heads onto the counter, and Takuma, Kazuma, and Midori all huffed and dropped their faces into their hands.

So hot chocolate it was then...

“What’s going on guys?” He asked and they all groaned in unison. He pulled down the box of hot chocolate mix, then also the whipped cream from the fridge and the marshmallows and chocolate syrup from the pantry.

“Middle school sucks, he heard his overdramatic younger brother grumble, causing him to snort.

“Yeah, imagine having to watch a demonic younger sibling through it all,” he jabbed at his little brother, who only glared back.

“Shut up Nii-Chan! This is an actual problem!” Hayato sighed and nodded.

“Okay okay,” he emptied all the hot chocolate packets into their mugs, and turned to look at the teenagers while he waited for the water to boil.

“What’s going on?” Everyone erupted into complaints, except for the all-saint, Kotaro.

“Woah! Guys he can hardly help you if you all talk at once!” Ryuu exclaimed as he walked into the kitchen. He stepped over to Hayato, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, drawing a fake gag from Taka, some coos from Kirin, Midori, and Takuma, and uncomfortable silence from Kotaro and Kazuma.

“Welcome Home Honey,” Hayato whispered and pulled Ryuuichi up to kiss him again, simply because he knew that it would annoy Taka. Ryuuichi laughed and swatted at his husband’s chest.

“Stop purposefully embarrassing your brother,” he scolded then turned around to look at the teenagers at the table while Hayato kept one of his hands around his waist, rubbing his hip with his thumb.

“You two are disgustingly... what’s the word Kirin?” He asked, looking at the evergreen haired girl expectantly. She huffed and glared at Taka, but there was no heat in it.

“Domestic?” She asked and he nodded.

“It’s gross.” He concluded and Kirin rolled her eyes.

“No Taka, it’s cute, you’re just a stupid boy who knows nothing of love,” she scolded him, and he just rolled his eyes at her. Ryuuichi and Hayato shared a knowing glance with each other then the same look with Kotaro, who looked absolutely exhausted by his friends.

“Anyway, what’s going on guys?” He asked them all and then picked up his hand as they all began to talk at once. The kettle began to whistle so Hayato turned away, begrudgingly taking his hand off Ryuuichi’s hip as he began to pour the hot water into the mugs. Ryuuichi stayed turned around and pointed at Takuma who was sitting on the far left.

“You first Takuma, what’s your conundrum?” He decided and Takuma took a deep breath.

“I’m stupid.” He decided after a moment and Ryuuichi glared at him.

“None of your are in any way stupid, and I’d honestly prefer if you stopped saying such awful things about yourselves, but what’s going on?” He asked, then turned around to start putting the whipped cream on the mugs full of hot chocolate and marshmallows, then dribbling chocolate syrup over them.

“I’m doing really badly in my math class, and if I fail this next quiz they’re not gonna let me play in the next practice match!” He exclaimed, clearly very stressed by the consequences of failing, rather than the prospect.

“Well, what are you having trouble with?” Ryuuichi asked as he set a mug of hot chocolate in front of each he and his twin brother. Hayato set one in front of Midori and Taka, then Ryuuichi set one in front of Kotaro while Hayato brought his over to Kirin.

“It’s not that I’m bad at the math, when the problem is laid out I can solve it, but understanding the question is the problem!” He groaned and threw his face into his hands.

“Well, why don’t you just start studying as a group, it always helped me to sit down with Maria, Yuki, Nezu, Yagi, and of course Hayato when I was struggling, why don’t you?” Takuma looked around at his friends and they all nodded encouragingly so he nodded as well.

“Okay!” He exclaimed, and Hayato couldn’t help but think about how some things really never changed.

“Right, next, Kazuma, what’s on your mind?” The muncher more docile twin sighed deeply.

“I have art block, and that’s stressful because I have a whole canvas painting due in a week!” Kazuma brought his hands up and entangled his fingers in his hair, pulling, hard. Ryuuichi panicked slightly and rushed over to grab his hands, encouraging him to let go. Kazuma eventually did and Ryuuichi sighed, moving his own hands to the blonde’s hair and running his fingers through it comfortingly. Hayato moves over to the kitchen counter and sat on it, waiting for Ryuuichi to ask the next question.

“Alright, Kazu, is there a prompt? Or a subject I guess?” The boy sighed, and nodded.

“The prompt is comfort, but it has to be a scene, and I know that everyone else is gonna paint like, a hug, or their own canvas, but that’s just not what I want!” He exclaimed frustrated again. Ryuuichi hushed him and patted his head.

“Kazuma, you are one of the most creative kids I know, I believe that you can figure this out, okay?” Ryuuichi kissed the top of Kazuma’s head then walked over to stand between Hayato’s legs, facing the 14 year olds.

“Alright, Kirin, you’re next,” he said while Hayato wrapped his arms around his chest.

“Alright, so we’ve got that new music teacher this year right?” Ryuuichi nodded, and she continued, “Well, apparently she heard about me before she came here, and now she expects more from me than the other students! And like, I know that I can be better than the other guys in a lot of things, but I’m not perfect! Now she’s getting angry when I can’t get something and I don’t know what to do!” Kirin threw her hands up in the air hysterically and then fell back onto the counter. Ryuuichi looked sad for a second, then took a deep breath and began to speak.

“Kirin, you are very talented, and it is true that you are above most people with your skill, and maybe that makes it seem like she should push you harder, and I agree with her, you need to be challenged so that you can improve, but if you genuinely believe that what she is doing is too much, you need to tell her that, and explain that you have limits just as much as the other students do.” Kirin smiled at Ryuuichi and nodded.

“Okay...,” his eyes moved down to the next teenager, “Kota?” He asked his brother shook his head.

“I don’t have problems Nii-Chan, their problems are my problems, and your problems are my problems, but I don’t have my own problems...” Kotaro explainer, pulling a laugh from Hayato and the other kids. Ryuuichi just looked at him for a monent.

“Okay, but if you do,” Kotaro held up his hand, but before Hayato could scold him for being rude he spoke.

“If I have problems I go to my friends first, because maybe they can help solve it without getting an adult involved, then I need to come to you if it gets worse, if I don’t want to tell you I should talk to Hayato, I know, Nii-Chan.” Ryuuichi blushed and Taka snickered. Hayato also let out a small laugh at his husband and brother in law.

“Alright, well um... Taka, you’re next then,” Ryuuichi pointed out, looking to his brother in law. Taka nodded and then dropped his head again.

“Okay, so this problem is...” Taka trailed off and Hayato and Ryuuichi immediately got worried.

“Well... I’ve wanted to play baseball like Nii-Chan for... years, like forever basically, but I know that I’m not as good,” Taka explained and Hayato felt his chest clench. So it was this kind of problem.

“The problem is that the coach thinks I should be as good or better because I grew up with the legendary Hayato Kamitani as a brother and mentor...” Taka explained, getting quieter and quieter.

“And I want to play but it seems like everyone knows about you and I’m just... here, and they expect me to be more than I am and I just don’t know what to do.” Taka brought up his hands to press the heels to his eyes as he began to cry, whether out of frustration or distress neither Hayato or Ryuuichi knew but they didn’t really care. Hayato tapped Ryuuichi’s wrist and walked over to Taka.

“Don’t cry, you oversized toddler, it’s fine,” he assured his brother, rough-love always being his strong suit. Taka took a deep breath and nodded, but didn’t look at his brother.

“I don’t want to disappoint you...” he muttered and Hayato felt his chest clench again.

“Taka, just because my thing is baseball doesn’t mean it has to be yours, you’ve been doing MMA since you were like, 6 and you’re better than some of your teachers, it’s okay to be average at some things,” Hayato reaches his hand up and began to run his fingers through Taka’s hair.

“Taka, do you want us to talk to the coach, do you want to?” Ryuuichi asked softly and his brother in law looked up at him in surprise,

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Well, I took a major in education and a minor in child psychology, I know how things effect children, I’ve been studying child psychology practically since I was ten, and I know that expecting so much from you isn’t good for you, I want to talk to your teacher, but if you don’t want me to, you can,” Taka gasped and looked at Ryuuichi with wide eyes then he looked at Hayato.

“I want... I want you guys to...” he concluded and Ryuuichi nodded, walking over to hug Taka.

“Do you want us to talk to your teacher too Kirin?” Hayato asked and she hesitated for a moment before nodding. The two adults nodded back and then looked at Midori.

“Alright, what about you Midori?” Ryuuichi turned, asking for her to elaborate on what her problem was. Ryuuichi pulled out the bench on the other side of her and sat down, Hayato taking his place behind Ryuuichi, hands around his waist and chin on his shoulder.

“Mm, it’s not such a big deal compared to these guys...” the significantly younger girl muttered and Ryuuichi shook his head.

“No, if it’s enough to trouble you, it’s enough to solve, now tell us,” Kotaro and Taka cracked a smile at Ryuuichi’s words.

“Well... there’s these girls in my class, and they started talking to me at the beginning of the year, and I thought that they actually wanted to be my friend, but lately they’ve been asking a lot of questions about Taka, Kotaro, and the twins and I don’t want to just sit around and talk about the boys! I wanna do other things too!” Ryuuichi looked down and smiled, shaking his head. He then looked up at Hayato who averted his gaze. He practically cackled before turning back to Midori.

“Drop them, they’re interested in the boys, not you, and they don’t deserve your attention,” Ryuuichi suggested and Midori nodded, Hayato spoke up next.

“You should hang out with the boys specifically in their sight, just to rub it in their face,” he suggested and Ryuuichi swatted at him.

“It’s kinda funny that you four kinda became the equivalent to Hayato, Nezu, Yagi, and I when we were in middle school.

“But the weird thing is that Kotaro is more similar to myself, and Takuma is more like you,” Ryuuichi laughed, ignoring the bewildered faces the teenagers gave them.

“And Taka is like Yagi!” He pointed out. Hayato threw his head back and let out a hearty laugh.

“What are you guys talking about?” Kirin asked and Ryuuichi struggled to catch his breath so he could explain.

“When we were in highschool, Hayato, Yagi, Nezu, and I were what people called the Favored Four. We were always being asked out and confessed to, Hayato even had upper class men into him,” he explained and Taka stuck out his tongue.

“Gross.” He said and Ryuuichi giggled.

“Yeah, I was exhausted, imagine being in love with your bestfriend and everyone just keeps asking you out, everyone but him!” Hayato complained and Ryuuichi smacked him.

“Hush!” He scolded while Taka, once again, fake gagged at his brothers’ antics.

“You’re really good at giving advice Ryuuichi,” Kazuma spoke up and the man was stunned.

“Uh, thank you Kazuma,” he muttered and cast his gaze down, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Mama always said you’d make a great parent...” Midori said and Ryuuichi blanched. He’d never thought about having kids.

Or, well he’d never talked to Hayato about it, they had enough on their plate, with Kotaro and work, but he’d definitely thought about kids before.

“It’s true! And Kotaro will be gone soon! You two should start thinking about it!” Kirin said and Ryuuichi blushed brighter. Hayato huffed and looked at the teenagers annoyed. It was funny how one of his expressions could say an entire sentence.

Like, “Shut up you idiots, you’re embarrassing him and we’ve got other things to worry about right now.” Everyone of the kids mouths were shut and they didn’t talk any more. After a couple seconds Hayato walked to the closet.

“So, what are we watching this time?” He asked as he pulled down a few blankets and pillows. Taka, Midori, Kirin, and Takuma lit up, and the other two got about as excited as it gets with the two of them, and they rushed over to the living room.

“Let’s watch a horror movie!” Taka shouted and Hayato rolled his eyes.

“Absolutely not.” He growled and his little brother glared back. Hayato kicked him lightly as he walked over to drop the pillows and blankets on the floor. He then went back to the closet and grabbed some metal poles and the same amount of metal plates with small holes in them.

Ryuuichi smiled at him as he took the poles and set them up on four corners. Two next to the couch, and two next to the tv stand. One more was placed in the center. They began pulling a string of thin but strong rope through the holes at the top of the poles and then they began to put blankets on top. The metal plates were used as bases at the bottom of the poles, and they had a drawer in the corner table that had a box of rubber bands in it. With the kids help, Hayato and Ryuuichi put the blankets on top of the poles then secured them in place with rubber bands. The girls were inside setting up pillows and blankets in a comfortable way while the boys were outside, helping the adults with the fort. Kotaro was also inside the fort, looking through movies and trying to find one he thought both Kirin and Taka would agree on.

They’d started doing this regularly when the kids were ten years old, hence the ready and waiting closet of fort supplies, and Hayato had quickly designed a kind of easily set up structure for the blankets to rest on. Using kitchen chairs and furniture was not doing too well for them. The Kamitani-Kashima apartment was the usual hangout for the kids, though Ryuuichi couldn’t help but dread the day they decided hanging out in the same house as their older siblings wasn’t cool.

The adults both settled on the couch, Ryuuichi cuddled into Hayato’s chest. Kotaro and Taka were sitting on the other side of the couch while the other four teenagers sat on pillows on the floor in front of them. They watched a random movie that Kotaro had put on and just chilled out for a couple of hours before Ryuuichi insisted on driving the twins, Kirin, and Midori home, Taka just stayed with them.

•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•

“Nii-Chan!” Kotaro shouted from his bedroom, where he was doing homework. Ryuuichi jumped up from where he was laying down with Hayato. Hayato folllwed as well.

“If you don’t control your overenergetic brat of a child, I’m moving in with the Kamitanis.” He growled. Kotaro was never very aggressive, so Hayato was immediately very confused by his words. When they came into the room, they saw Kotaro’s chemistry homework on the bed, Kotaro standing next to his bookshelf, his panda ceramic they’d bought him when he was young, shattered, and Akari sitting on the ground looking on the verge of tears as Kotaro glared at her. Ryuuichi gasped and rushed over to get Akari away from the broken glass while Kotaro just continued to glare.

“What happened Kota?” He asked as he passed Akari off to Hayato.

“That- f-...” Kotaro took a deep breath.

“That brat, wandered in here while I was trying to do my homework, and decided to try and climb my shelf! She shattered my panda, and started wailing, which has definitely completely thrown me off and I’m honestly just getting more annoyed.” He explained, all in one breath and fuming. Ryuuichi took a step forward to begin scolding Kotaro because Akari is only young but Hayato put his hand on his shoulder, silencing him. He offered Akari to him and gestures for him to leave then turned back to Kotaro. The 16 year old was still visibly fuming as he grabbed the trashcan next to his desk and began to throw away the remnants of his panda ceramic.

“Kotaro, look at me,” Hayato commander, trying to stay calm and understanding. Kotaro looked up at Hayato, anger, hurt, and, terrifyingly, fear in his eyes.

“What’s it gonna be Haya?” He asked, still mindlessly throwing the glass into his trashcan.

“Kotaro, I understand that you’re annoyed, but she only 4,” he reminded him and Kotaro couldn’t help but grimace at his words. He knew that. He knew that Akari was only 4 years old but he was annoyed, that was one of his oldest possessions, and one of his favorites, he couldn’t help the anger.

“I know, Haya, but this is the sixth f-,” Kotaro has to catch himself again, he didn’t like to curse in front of his brothers, “this is the sixth thing that she has broken this week, and I’m just getting sick of it!” He exclaimed, clearly feeling awful as tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. Hayato sighed and nodded. He walked over to kneel down in front Kotaro, avoiding the broken ceramic.

“Why don’t you just shut the door? She can’t reach the handle,” he pointed out, and Kotaro shook his head.

“No, because I only shut the door whenever I’m made at you or Ryuuichi, and I don’t want No-Chan to think that I’m mad at him,” he gritted out and Hayato nodded in understanding.

“Do you want to... put away some of the more fragile things until she’s older or you move out?” Kotaro took a deep breath and shook his head again.

“Okay, well we can hardly keep her locked in her room, this is her house too,” Hayato pointed out and Kotaro nodded with a sigh.

“I just, I want her to stay away from my things, I don’t mind if she’s in here, which is why I put the fragile things higher up but she just, climbs the shelves!” Kotaro was getting frustrated again so Hayato reached out and put a hand on his shoulder.

“What about a glass cabinet, I’ll get you one so you can keep things on display, but the cabinet would have magnetized doors, she wouldn’t be able to open them.” Kotaro took a deep breath and nodded. Hayato nodded as well and went to go get the broom.

“Is he okay?” Ryuuichi asked from where he was sitting in the kitchen, watching Akari carefully as she sat in her high chair eating orange slices.

“He’s frustrated, Ryuu, he’s 16 years old and feels like his space isn’t being respected,” Ryuuichi nodded in understanding, worrying his bottom lip. He looked at the ground, casting his gaze away from his husband.

“I almost yelled at him Haya...” he muttered, Hayato could barely hear him. But when he did, he was shocked, Ryuuichi didn’t yell at anyone, let alone at his little brother.

“I don’t know what came over me, but I just got so angry when he talked about Akari like that...” He muttered and Hayato sighed when he watched a sob rack his husband’s body.

“Ryuu, do you remember when Taka drew all over my autographed baseball?” Ryuuichi took a deep breath, brows furrowing in thought before he nodded.

“Do you remember what you said to me?” He asked next and Ryuuichi shook his head softly.

“Well, it was something to the affect of, ‘You can get angry over things like this, but you can’t punish them, they don’t understand’, and you’re right, and I was the bigger person, but you also have to understand that Kotaro doesn’t get angry like that easily, he’s genuinely upset that Akari keeps breaking stuff, and I think that’s even more upset that neither of us made a move to prevent it.” Ryuuichi nodded in understanding then fell forward, resting his forehead against Hayato’s chest. He began to cry softly, and Hayato wrapped his arms around him.

“It was so much easier when he was still a baby, and he didn’t fight with me...” Ryuuichi whispered and Hayato laughed.

“He still doesn’t fight with you, he just has things of his own now,” Hayato pointed out and Ryuuichi let out a breathy laugh.

“Daddy sad?” Akari asked from behind them and Ryuuichi sat up and wiped his tears.

“No, honey, I’m not sad,” he assured her and she furrowed her brows.

“Daddy angry?” She asked this time and he shook his head again, she nodded then pointed down the hall of their home.

“Ko-Chan angry...” she elaborated, and Hayato sighed, letting go of Ryuuichi to walk over and pull Akari out of her high chair. He held her to his chest and bounced her as he spoke.

“Yeah, Ko-Chan’s angry, but that’s because you weren’t being very nice,” he said and tears welled into her eyes, Ryuuichi rushes forward to take her but Hayato turned away giving Ryuuichi a stern look. Ryuuichi looked kinda upset but backed down.

“Akari, you really hurt Kota’s feelings when you break his things,” she sniffled and Hayato patted her head.

“Just wanna play...” she muttered and he nodded in understanding.

“I know that baby, but those are Kotaro’s things, and when you break them it makes him very sad, how would you feel if Kotaro broke your toys?” He asked and she gasped. Looking at him with shiny eyes. He nodded with a matter of fact face.

“Yeah, I know, that feels bad doesn’t it?” She nodded and he nodded back at her.

“Do you want to apologize?” He asked and she nodded quickly. Hayato looked back at Ryuuichi with a face that basically read, ‘She needed that,’ Ryuuichi nodded in understanding.

“Okay, lets go,” he said and pointed at the broom and vacuum. Ryuuichi nodded in understand and reached for both, following Hayato and Akari to the bedroom. When they reached the doorway, Hayato knocked softly.

“Kota?” He called, drawing Kotaro’s attention to him, “Can we come in?” Kotaro looked wearily at the toddler in Hayato’s arms but nodded, shutting his chemistry book and ushering all of his papers into a pile on top of it. Hayato came and sat down, setting Akari on the bed next to him. She looked up at Kotaro with wet eyes and crawled toward him. She wrapped her arms around his middle and hugged him. Kotaro looked shocked by the action, but wrapped his arms around her in return.

“I’m sorry Ko-Chan!” She shouted into his chest and his eyes widened.

“I forgive you Akari...” he whispered and she snuggled into his chest. He sighed, resting his head on top of her’s, and looking up at his brothers.

“I’m sorry...” he mouthed and Ryuuichi shook his head quickly while Hayato did so much slower. After a minute, Hayato have Ryuuichi a look, and he nodded while Hayato carried Akari out of the bedroom, he laid her down in her bed to take a nap then went to sit outside the door in case he needed to step in and moderate.

“I’m sorry Kotaro,” Ryuuichi muttered and he heard Kotaro sigh.

“No, it’s not your fault...” he insisted, he heard what he assumed was Ryuuichi sitting down on the bed.

“Kotaro, this is your space, and those are your things, and I’m sorry that she broke them, I need to take responsibility, because admittedly, that’s what I did when you did something wrong as a baby,” Kotaro took in a shaky breath and it sounded like Ryuuichi hugged him.

“I’m sorry that I expected so much for you, I forget sometimes how hard I worked so that you didn’t have to grow up too fast, but I think I might be comparing you to me at your age, and I’m so sorry...” He heard Ryuuichi begin to cry and poked his head into the room, making eye contact with Kotaro who moved one of his hands grasping Ryuuichi to reach out for him. Hayato smiled and stepped closer to his boys, pulling them into a hug.

“It’s true that you had to grow up too quickly Nii-Chan, but I’ve always been really mature, so I don’t blame you for expecting better from me,” Kotaro muttered and Ryuuichi cried harder. Hayato sighed, hugging them both tighter, he didn’t interject, he just acted as a comfort.

“You’re still a child Kotaro, no matter how much you don’t act like it, you’re a child, growing into an adult who wants what’s to have his own space and things because you have that ability and I don’t know why I didn’t think about it...” Ryuuichi muttered and Kotaro spoke up again.

“Because you never experienced that feeling Nii-Chan. You’ve always been so giving and incredible, you never wanted to inconvenience anyone, and you never wanted to see me unhappy, so you sacrificed a lot...” Hayato rubbed both of their backs as they cried.

After a while he ushered them both out of the bedroom to calm down and watch some TV for a bit.

[evilrubberducke]

You Danced Your Way Into My Heart

Here’s a little Valentine’s day themed IzuMina one shot that I hope you all enjoy, despite it being almost a week late. 

Summary: As Mina tries to work up the courage to give her crush chocolate on Valentine's, she reflects on the encounter that started it all.

Read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22813273 Or on FF.Net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13505672/1/You-Danced-Your-Way-Into-My-Heart

“Are you doing okay, Mina?” Hagakure asked, leaning over to check on her friend.

“Yep!” Mina replied, lying through her teeth. “Never better!”

She was seated in the UA cafeteria, trying and failing to enjoy her lunch. Her problem wasn’t that the food was any less delicious than normal, but that her stomach refused to stop tying itself in knots.

The source of her consternation was twofold. Part of it was the box of handmade chocolates that was burning a hole in her backpack. Satou had spent several long hours in the kitchen with her over the past week showing her how to craft the delicious treats, but it had still taken her four attempts to get them right. They were oddly shaped, a bit streaky in places, and a little saltier than she had intended, but they were also filled with all the affection she could muster. Mina hoped that would be enough to make up for the chocolate’s shortcomings.

The rest of her nerves came in the form of a green haired boy sitting on the other side of the cafeteria, excitedly discussing their upcoming hero class with his friends.

Mina wasn’t quite sure how it had happened, but somewhere along the way her friendship and admiration for Midoriya had turned into something more. She hadn't even realized that was what had happened until after the culture festival.

A fond smile crossed her face as she remembered the awkward encounter that had started it all.

-

“Um, A-Ashido? D-do you have a minute?” Midoriya asked, shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot.

“What’s up Midori?” Mina asked, looking up from the textbook she had been pretending to read, and the poorly disguised magazine inside it that she had actually been looking at.

“I-I was wondering if you could teach me some more dance moves? I-If you have time, that is! I don’t want to keep you from studying.”

She raised an incredulous eyebrow at him, but didn’t contradict his statement. If he wanted to think she was actually studying, and not goofing off, that was up to him.

“I can,” she said, closing her book, “But I gotta ask, what brought this on? Got the boogie fever?”

He chuckled awkwardly before replying. “N-no. There was a… uh… a thing during the culture festival. And the stuff you taught me helped me out of a really tight spot. But… I can’t help but think I could have done better if I’d had just a few more moves. So I was wondering if you could help me with that?”

A surge of warmth shot through her at his words. She wasn’t quite sure what “thing” he was talking about, but the idea that her dance moves had actually helped him out in any way was amazing. It made her feel like an actual hero, and not just a kid playing pretend.

“I’d be happy to help you, Midoriya!” she said, a smile breaking out across her face. It transformed into a mischievous grin a second later as a thought occurred to her. “I do have one condition though…”

“What’s that?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.

“You’ve got to call me sensei while we train!”

He coughed in surprise, which only made her grin wider, but recovered quickly. A second later, he stuck his hand out for her to shake.

“It’s a deal, Ash- Sensei.”

The title sent an odd thrill through her, and made her sit up a little straighter as she tried to live up to her self-imposed responsibility. 

“Great! How’s Friday sound for our first session?”

“That works for me.”

“Okay. See you then. Oh, and wear something you can move around in. We’re gonna have fun and work hard!”

“Will do!”

-

When Midoriya finally stepped into the classroom that Mina had reserved for their dance practice, her jaw dropped in shock. 

He was dressed in a pair of tight fitting green yoga pants that were a little too short for him, and a red tank top. Even his ever present red sneakers had been replaced with a pair of mesh running shoes.

It was the complete opposite of what he usually wore. Aside from his school uniform and hero costume, Midoriya usually favored loose, baggy clothing that accentuated his plain appearance. Now he looked like he had stepped out of some European club.

“Holy crap Midoriya!” she exclaimed, her mouth already moving before her brain could rein it in, “What’s with the outfit?”

A look of panic crossed his face as he stammered out a reply. “I-Is it not right? You said to wear something I could move around in, so I asked my mom, and she lent me her old dancing outfit, but the shirt didn’t fit, so I had to borrow one from Kirishimia, and he said it looked good, and Uraraka did too, so I thought it would be okay, but I’m so sorry if it’s not, and—”

“Midori, breathe!” Mina interrupted, stepping forward to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, “You’re perfectly fine. I was just surprised to see you in a different outfit than usual. Honestly, you look pretty good in it.”

She wasn’t just saying that to make him feel better either. Underneath the baggy clothes and awkward demeanor, Midoriya had been hiding quite the impressive physique. Everyone in their class was fit, of course, but Midoriya seemed to have taken it to the next level. His muscles bulged under his skin as he scratched his head, and the tank top rode up enough to give Mina a tantalizing glimpse of the stomach beneath.

She shook her head in an effort to clear her mind. A few muscles shouldn't have been enough to distract her. Kirishima's costume left him almost entirely shirtless, and that had never gotten to her before. It was probably just the surprise of seeing the normally timid Midoriya in such a flashy outfit.

"Um, t-thanks," Midoriya said with a small bow, "Y-you look nice too."

She snorted. Her own dance outfit was well worn and a bit stained in places. Still, it had been rather cute at one point, and she supposed that was still true, if one was as fashion illiterate as Midoriya.

“Thanks. But enough standing around. Are you ready to get started?”

“Yes Sensei!” he replied instantly. As he did, his entire demeanor changed. His spine stiffened, his shoulders went back, and he even raised his eyes to meet her gaze with one of steely determination. 

On the one hand, she should probably tell him that she had meant the “sensei” thing as a joke. On the other hand, he had taken it in stride, and telling him now would probably just start things out on an awkward note. So she decided to just let it go, and enjoy her new title.

“Alright! You’ve got the basics down, but it’s time to put that to the test! I’m going to teach you how to six-step!”

-

“How was that?” Midoriya asked, panting heavily from exertion.

“Hmmmm. Almost, but not quite,” Mina replied, shaking her head.

He’d done well at first, but as their lesson had progressed, Midoriya had begun to struggle more and more. His sense of rhythm was good, and he was definitely fit enough to pull the moves off. He just had a hard time flowing from one move to the next.

“You’re still putting too much weight on your wrists,” she continued, pointing to the offending appendages, “You need to let your legs do the work instead.”

He sighed, then clambered slowly to his feet to try again. He had an impressive amount of stamina, but dancing like this worked out a completely different set of muscles than combat practice, and it was obvious that he was feeling the burn.

“Sorry,” he muttered, so low she almost missed it.

“What are you sorry for?”

For a second, it didn’t look like he was going to reply. Then he let out another sigh, his excellent posture disintegrating into a defeated hunch. 

“For being a bad student.”

“Hey!” Mina said sharply, giving him a swift chop to the head that would have made Iida proud. “None of that! It takes one to know one, so I can totally say that you’re not a bad student!”

The attempt at humor did bring a small smile to his lips, though he still looked hopeless and defeated.

“Sorry. It’s just hard when I’m giving every move my all, and nothing is working.”

Mina nodded in commiseration. She opened her mouth to try to comfort him, then stopped as a thought occurred to her.

“Hey, Midori, when you say you’re giving every move your all, did you mean that literally?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t let you down by not giving it my best.”

She clapped her hands together, startling Midoriya with the sudden sound. “That���s it! That’s why you can’t get it!”

He looked at her in confusion, forcing her to explain her thought process.

“You’re treating it like a punch, and putting too much strength into each move. But it’s not about strength, it’s about balance and dexterity. If you put too much power in, you’ll throw your balance off.”

His look changed to one of incredulousness, but she forged ahead anyways.

“Okay, I know it sounds weird, but just trust me. Stop trying so hard, relax, and just let your mind go blank. I promise it’ll work!”

He shrugged, then got into the starting position she had shown him. He closed his eyes, took a series of slow, deep breaths like he was preparing to dive into a pool, and then began to dance.

Mina had to bite her lip to keep from shouting in triumph. His moves were far from perfect, but that one change had improved his technique so much it was hard to believe that he was the same person who had been struggling with these same moves just a minute ago.

“That was awesome Midori!” Mina said as he hopped back to his feet, “You totally nailed it!”

A broad smile filled his face, despite the blush in his cheeks. “T-Thanks. I had a good teacher.”

Before she knew what was happening she had crossed the short distance between them and pulled him into a tight hug. It definitely wasn’t the best hug she’d ever had, Midoriya was far too sweaty and surprised for that. At that moment, however, Mina didn’t care in the slightest. She enjoyed his warmth against her, and the way his arms came slowly up to pat her gently on the back.

Then her brain kicked back in and her cheeks flushed in embarrassment. She quickly broke the impromptu embrace and stepped back to a reasonable distance. 

“Hey, great lesson, but I’ve got to get going. Have a nice weekend!” Mina said hurriedly, grabbing her bag and dashing out of the classroom before Izuku could say a single word.

‘What the heck was I thinking?’ She thought furiously as she dashed down the hallway ‘Just grabbing him out of the blue. At least it was Midoriya, so he won’t think I’m in love with him just because of a hug.’

She stopped dead in the hallway as her heart skipped a beat at the thought of Midoriya falling for her. 

‘I-I don’t… I mean, he’s sweet, but we’re just friends, and… oh god, I think I like him.’

-

“— to Mina! Earth to Mina!” Hagakure said, waving her chopsticks in front of Mina’s face to get her attention.

“Huh? What’s up?”

“You’ve been staring at Midoriya for, like, 10 minutes now. I’m kinda amazed he didn’t notice.”

Mina quickly glanced at the clock to find that Hagakure was right. Lunch was nearly over, and her window to give her chocolates to Midoriya was rapidly closing. She wouldn't have another chance until classes ended for the day, and Mina wasn't sure she could wait that long without going stir crazy.

Sterling her resolve, she rose to her feet and slapped the table dramatically. 

"I'm going to do it!" she declared, hoping that stating her intentions aloud would help to quiet her nerves.

"You've got this!" Hagakure cheered, as the pink girl grabbed the box of chocolates and marched across the cafeteria.

-

“And that is why I believe that Valentine’s day is a ridiculous and old fashioned practice that should be phased out as soon as possible,” Iida finished his rant with a satisfied nod.

“So the answer is no, you didn’t get any chocolate today,” Tsuyu said, addressing the question that had set Iida off in the first place. 

She, Iida, Uraraka, and Izuku were seated at their usual table near the edge of the UA cafeteria. They had finished with their food several minutes ago, and were now waiting for their next class. Given the season, their discussion had naturally turned to the subject of Valentine’s and romance.

For Izuku, Valentine’s day had always been depressing. He had spent year after year watching his male classmates brag about how many chocolates they had received while the girls giggled in groups, daring each other to give homemade chocolates to the guys they found cute. Izuku, meanwhile, had sat forlornly at his desk, wishing for even a single friendship chocolate to magically appear. No one was ever brave or foolish enough to give him one, however. 

So it was with great surprise and elation that Izuku had received friendship chocolate from nearly every girl in the class. The candies may have been low quality (with the exception of Yaoyorozu’s ridiculously expensive imported candy bar), but to Izuku they were the most delicious treats he had ever had. 

There was a small part of him that was disappointed in the lack of one particular person’s chocolate, but he refused to acknowledge it. He was being selfish, thinking that Ashido would consider him a close friend after such a short time, and he was being completely ridiculous if he imagined receiving anything more than friendship chocolate from her.

“Tsuyu, Iida, I think it’s time for us to head back to class,” Uraraka said, drawing Izuku back from his thoughts. Her gaze was focused across the cafeteria, and a small, knowing smile graced her lips.

“An excellent suggestion, Uraraka!” Iida said happily, “Taking extra time to prepare for our next class will only improve our performance!”

“Whatever you say, kero,” Tsuyu said, rising to her feet and grabbing his arm, “Come on, Iida. Let's make ourselves scarce."

Izuku tried to rise with them, but Uraraka shoved him back into his seat before he could finish.

"Not you. You're staying here right here,” she said forcefully.

“Wait, why am I…” Before he could finish, Uraraka had walked off, leaving him alone and extremely confused. Thankfully, he wasn’t alone for very long.

“H-Hey Midoriya!” Ashido said, walking up to his table. Instead of taking a seat, she stood just to his side, with her hands clasped behind her back.

"Oh, hello Ashido. Are you feeling okay?" he asked, noticing that her usual pink complexion was much paler than usual. 

“I’m fine. Just a little under the weather. But that’s not important. There’s… there’s something I want to ask you.”

He was a little surprised at how circumspect she was being. Normally she just barreled forward without much thought for the consequences. Whatever problem she was having must have been very important. He turned his full attention towards her words as he nodded for her to continue. Her training and advice had been incredibly beneficial to him, not to mention how much he enjoyed spending time with her. Helping with her problem was the very least he could do.

“Okay…” she said, swallowing loudly. Then, she brought her hands, and the package they held around and thrust it towards him. “I wanted to give you these, and to ask if you wanted to go see a movie this weekend?”

The package was small and covered in heart-patterned wrapping paper, with a small bow wrapped around it. A small white tag in the upper corner had his name on it, with a small heart in place of the dot on the I.

His brain ground to a halt as the implications of the present, and the question she had just asked registered for him.

“A-A movie? This weekend? Like… Like a d-d-d-date?”

Her cheeks burned lilac as she nodded, her eyes firmly fixed on his feet. 

“W-W-W-With me?”

Another nod.

“I-I, uh, I would l-love to.”

Slowly, her eyes rose to meet his once more as a wide smile bloomed on her face. Her eyes seemed to shine, turning her irises to liquid gold, and she began to bounce on her heels with excitement.

Izuku felt his heart skip a beat at the sight. He had noticed long ago that she was pretty, but in that moment she looked more beautiful than anyone he had ever seen before.

“Great!” Ashido said, clasping his hand in hers as she thrust the box of chocolates into his grasp, “I’ll text you after class and we can pick something out!”

With that she spun on her heel and marched out of the cafeteria, leaving Izuku to slowly melt down as the fact that a pretty girl had just asked him out finally registered. 

Mina, meanwhile, made it all the way out of the cafeteria before she let out a shriek of excitement and elation and ran off to tell Hagakure about everything that had just happened.

[365daysoftododeku]

5th March 2019

Author: Kenyoda

Admin’s Note: This is the sequel to @ebonyphd‘s Candid Shoutos (Feb 19), which can be found over here! Credit to the idea goes to @crzangel, whose headcanon is over here for you to peruse through :)

________________________________________________________________

Flawless Together

“Hey! Midori-chan! What ya doing?” sang Mina as she plopped down on the couch next to him. Izuku grinned and showed her his screen. On the screen was a picture of Shouto with a completely done look on his face. It was a profile shot. He was half asleep, scowling into the mirror. His hair was an uncharacteristic mess. A fluffy cloud of white and red floating around his head. Shouto’s hair was curly like Izuku’s but his boyfriend worked hard to keep it straight and neat.

“Ooooh!!! Is that going on Insta?” cooed Hagakure as she plopped down on Midoriya’s other side. He shot a grin at the invisible girl.

“Yep! Everybody’s been doing the #flawless thing again and people have been begging for a bedhead pic. And as always I aim to please… with Shouto’s permission of course.” Izuku laughed. The girls laughed along with him. He went back to work and scheduled the posting of the picture for tomorrow morning with appropriate tags while they talked. He shut off his laptop and yawned. “Ok, I am going to bed. I’m beat.” He bid the girls goodnight and made his way to the stairs. He quietly climbed the stairs to his floor, swallowing another yawn.

He was unsurprised to find a red and white head peeking from under his bedcovers as he entered his bedroom. Izuku went through his nightly routine, careful not to wake his sleeping boyfriend. He sighed happily as he finally settled into bed next to Shouto. He gently pulled the other boy into his arms. Shouto mumbled something unintelligible and rolled over to face him, nuzzling into Izuku’s chest before slipping back into sleep. Adorable. Izuku thought fondly as he drifted off.

The next morning, Izuku woke to find sky colored eyes watching him.

“Mornin’ Shouto,” he rumbled, voice thick from sleep. Shouto pressed his lips to his. Izuku returned it with passion. They parted after a moment, settling back into bed. Shouto’s fingers drew small shapes on Izuku’s chest and he returned the favor on Shouto’s back as they both enjoyed the first few quiet moments of the day.

They finally parted when both his and Shouto’s alarms went off, snapping them from their daze. Izuku got dressed and checked that he had everything he would need for the day. He then headed for the stairs. When he opened the door to the common area, he was hit with a wave of sound. The morning was in full swing, it seemed.

“Midori!” Ashido.

“Good morning, Midoriya-chan,” Tsuyu.

“Deku-kun! Hey!” Uraraka.

“It is good to see you this morning, Midoriya-kun!” Iida. The class’s greetings washed over Izuku, warming him. It was so nice to have so many friends. Izuku greeted them with equal enthusiasm.

“Did somebody say Midoriya?” came Hagakure. She immediately rushed to him and started babbling. Izuku blinked in shock.

“Um… I didn’t catch that.” He said suddenly. She took a breath and started again,

“Have you seen the PlusInsta this morning?” Izuku shook his head.

“The morning started a little slow…” Izuku mumbled, refusing to admit to lazing about with his partner.

“Well, you done goofed, my friend!” she said dramatically as she showed him her phone. Midoriya blinked at the bright screen shoved under his nose. It was the candid_shoutos page. His scheduled post had been posted. But the counter and comments were off the charts. There even looked like a comment from the verified HeroWatch account. What the fuck happened? He thought, frantic. He took the phone and stared at the picture. What was off? He checked the tags and almost died.

#flawless #he looks like cotton candy #adorable #I love him

Shit! Shit! Shit! Shiittt!!!! Izuku screamed in his head.

“Holy hell! I—Shouto is going to kill me!” he wailed. All chatter in the common room ceased at his outburst. The silence stretched for several uncomfortable minutes.

“Why is everyone so quiet?” came Shouto’s voice suddenly. Izuku’s heart dropped to his feet. Izuku’s mind was running about in frantic circles trying to figure out how he was going to fix this. “Izuku?” Izuku leapt in the air out of shock, Shouto’s voice was right next to his ear this time. He realized that he had activated his Quirk when the back of his head collided with a painful crack against the ceiling. Izuku saw stars for a moment and then he landed on something solid. His head bounced off the floor again, and his vision faded to black.

Izuku came around with a groan. His head was throbbing gently. He sat up slowly, blinking. He was in Recovery Girl’s office—again. What had he done this time to end up here? He thought back. Izuku remembered being in the common room and Hagakure showing him something on her phone… the rest was kind of fuzzy. As he continued to glance about the room, a certain out of place color caught his attention.

Shouto was laying on the bed next to him. He appeared to be out cold. A nasty yellow bruise covered most of the left side of his face. Concern flooded his veins. What had happened to him? Before he could spiral into a bunch of hypothetical theories, Recovery Girl enter the office.

“Oh, you’re awake… I am not surprised. You almost broke poor Todoroki’s neck, so he’ll be out a little longer.” She sighed as she came over to exam him. Izuku felt his stomach roll and bile creep up his throat. He had hurt Shouto?! Why? How?

“I—did that?” he squeaked out. She nodded. Izuku went cold.

“Now, now. He will have one heck of headache and a sore neck when he wakes but he will live. I can’t scold you too much for an accident. But, please for the love of all that sacred be careful!” she tutted once she deemed that he was doing better.

“An accident?” Izuku muttered to himself. He wracked his head for any inkling of what had happened. He got nothing. Recovery Girl had moved back to her desk. A moment later, All Might entered.

“Young Midoriya. How are you feeling?” said the man as he took a seat next to the bed.

“Stupid. Awful.” Izuku gasped as tears started to fall down his face. He angrily wiped at them. But the stupid things kept coming. “Why I am crying, again, damn it?!” All Might said nothing, but he gently gathered Izuku in his arms. Izuku finally gave in and began sobbing in earnest. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“It’s alright, my boy. It was an accident. Just bad luck.” All Might assured him. Accident or no, Shouto had been hurt by enough people that should have been protecting him. Izuku had just added his name to that infamous list.

“He’s been hurt, enough… I just added to it.” Izuku murmured back, pained.

“Nonsense! The past year the two of you have been together has been the most relaxed, focused, and, dare I say, happiest I have ever seen young Todoroki.” Izuku stared at All Might, his tear soaked checks becoming even redder.

“What… how?” Izuku spluttered. The only people who should have known were their dorm mates, whom they had sworn to secrecy.

“Fear not, young Midoriya. I know that you are keeping your relationship quiet. But do you really think after all the “adventures” you and your classmates have created and stumbled upon, that we wouldn’t be keeping a closer eye on you?” teased All Might with a smile. Izuku chuckled at that. It was true. Izuku, mostly Izuku, and his classmates could be trouble magnets. So, it didn’t surprise him that the teachers were probably keeping tabs on them.

“Well, true. It still doesn’t change the fact that I—,”

“Tell me, would you beat yourself up over it, if it was an injury gained during a training exercise?” Izuku blinked. Well, he would; but not as much… training was demanding and injuries were expected. He sighed, but shook his head in answer to the question. “Then why are you beating yourself up over an accident?”

“How can you be so sure? I don’t even remember what happened!” Izuku hissed, fighting back more tears as he looked over his boyfriend’s face one more time.

“Oh…! Young Todoroki startled you and your Quirk activated. You hit the ceiling. That is probably what knocked you out cold. You landed on Young Todoroki. He took a foot to the face when you did so.” That did not make Izuku feel any better. He was close to graduating and he was still no closer to bringing his Quirk to heel.

“I should have better control of myself by now!” Izuku blurted, angry. All Might sighed.

“My boy, you have had One For All for a grand total of almost 3 years… would you expect a child with a brand new Quirk that is barely three years old to have full control of it?” All Might asked.

“No… I guess I wouldn’t. They haven’t had enough time—” Izuku paused. He really hadn’t had a lot of time with his Quirk.  He was getting better at using Full Cowl, but he still had a long way to go. “Ok, so I’m not a complete failure… but I really hate that I hurt him.”

“Of course you do! But the only thing you can do is move forward. Talk to young Todoroki and then move on.” All Might said. A shifting sound from the other bed caught Izuku’s attention. He looked back to see Shouto blinking at him.

“Izu-ow.” He groaned as he tried to sit up. He laid still again, gingerly cradling his head. Izuku was on his feet and by Shouto’s bedside in what felt like a blink of his eyes.

“Shouto! I am so sorry.” Izuku whispered thickly as he carded his hand through the bi colored hair.

“What—fuck me—happened?” Shouto grumbled as he tried to sit up again. Izuku immediately, but gently pressed Shouto back to the bed.

“Don’t move too much… you have a neck injury.” Izuku said. Shouto blinked woozily at Izuku but didn’t move. “It’s my fault. I am so sorry.”

“S’ok, ‘zuku. Love you.” Replied the other teen faintly, before slipping back into the embrace of sleep. Izuku couldn’t help the new flush that took over his face. A quiet chuckle reminded him that All Might was still in the room.

“It’s like I told you, my boy. It will be ok,” chuckled the retired hero. Izuku whined and buried his head in Shouto’s pillow.

Recovery Girl let them go the following morning. Izuku also remembered what had sparked the incident that nearly had Shouto eating Izuku’s foot. He had accidentally confessed his love of Shouto on the candid_shoutos page. The page had been going nuts for the last 72 hours or so. Everyone speculating on what the tag meant.

The speculation of who ran the page was once again a hot topic. Most people were convinced it was a classmate at this point but they never pushed too hard for an identity reveal. But now people were wondering if he was just a classmate with a crush or a stalker obsessed with Shouto. A stalker, really? Did they really think Shouto was that oblivious?

But the most concerning thing about the whole fiasco was that there were some heavy discussions surrounding potential hero couples, especially the up and coming ones like him and Todoroki being had. Izuku would pay it little mind and so would Shouto. But Izuku feared the one person that they didn’t want paying any attention to such talk, in fact would become heavily concerned:

Endeavor.

The man loved to squash anything that he felt would be a distraction to Shouto’s budding career/Enji’s pet pride project. Izuku snorted at the thought… Pride project, heh. Izuku shook off the silly thought as he continued to read through the comments and debate about his response to this whole mess. Not to mention, Shouto was still silent on what he wanted to do about the whole thing. That had him on edge. His own anxiety was flaring up at the idea that Shouto might hate all the attention and possibly break up with him over it.

Part of Izuku knew he was being ridiculous, but he was too much of an anxious person to put it aside so easily. However, fortunately or unfortunately, Shouto’s dazed confession was also weighing heavily on his mind. Izuku tried to ignore the butterflies that were constantly wanting to take flight in his stomach. Izuku was very much in love with Shouto as well. He just didn’t want to pester Shouto about what he said in Recovery Girl’s office. He didn’t want to push him away, if the boy had let it slip by mistake. So, he wasn’t communicating with Shouto like usual and Todoroki himself had been more closed off than usual.

Izuku sighed as he face planted into the couch, heart heavy. Ochaco laughed at him.

“Still moping Deku? Why don’t you just talk to Todoroki?” she asked as she poked him in the head playfully. Izuku groaned in response.

“I would love to, but in the past two days, he’s been nonexistent.” He huffed. She hummed.

“Yeah… I haven’t really seen him outside of class lately.” She replied thoughtfully. Suddenly, Izuku’s phone went off. It was a text from Mina prompting him to check the Insta. Izuku really didn’t want to, but he also knew Mina wouldn’t have bothered him if it wasn’t important. Resigned to his fate, Izuku opened it and blinked. There was a notification that a new photo had posted. ‘What?’ was his first thought. He hadn’t scheduled any posts recently because of the mayhem. Izuku froze. There was only one other person that had access to the page and that was…

He pressed the notification with a trembling finger. The phone went white for a moment as it loaded the page. Izuku’s heart jolted in his chest when the photo appeared. It was a picture of himself asleep, probably from one of their many late night study sessions. He was lying prone on his bed, his Japanese literature book laying open on his chest. But that was not the only thing in the picture. Shouto was sitting on the side of the bed, blocking Izuku’s legs. He was eyeing the camera with a bemused expression, glasses perched on his nose. All in all, it was a cute candid moment.

What had Izuku locked in place was the caption.

My boyfriend is an overachieving dork, not a stalker

#wtf people #A stalker really? #You think I would let just anybody take THAT many photos of me? #Endeavor don’t bother

A bubbly laugh started to build in the back of his throat, after a few moments, it tumbled out of his mouth like water over a cliff. He laughed and laughed. That was so like Shouto! Here Izuku was freaking out over possibly outing him and Shouto, while Shouto just wrapped up the situation with a bit of sarcasm. He truly did love his mess of a boyfriend.

“Deku, what on Earth is wrong with you?” Ochaco laughed, his laughter clearly getting to her.

“I-Shouto—that dork! I love him… I really, really do.” Izuku babbled, completely overwhelmed by his feelings. The laughter finally gave way to a calm contentedness. It felt warm, just like Shouto’s arms. Almost as if he was summoned, Shouto suddenly appeared in Izuku’s peripheral vision.

“Well, now you can tell him that in person!” she teased. She bounced to her feet, greeted Shouto cheerfully, and skipped away.

“Tell me what?” Shouto asked instead of a normal greeting. His eyes flew to meet Shouto’s head on as he sat next to him on the couch. Izuku noticed that Shouto’s body language was screaming ‘nervous’, although his voice was as steady as ever. Why is he nervous? He thought. Then he remembered the new picture. He wanted to slap himself. Shouto was probably just as nervous about this whole thing as Izuku. Neither one of them had much experience when it came to relationships. But they were willing to muddle their way through it together. Shouto had probably been avoiding Izuku for the same reason Izuku had stopped talking to Shouto.

“That… I-I love you.” Izuku squeaked out, sounding much like his younger self, a blush rapidly spreading over his cheeks. Shouto’s eyes widened and a pleased smile slipped across his face. His red hair lit at the ends with a gentle flame, while little flurries danced from his white making the strands look like icicles. Gods, why is he so adorable?! Izuku thought, heart full. He grinned back.

“I love you, too.” Shouto whispered back, voice heavy with emotion. Izuku leaned in and whispered,

“I know…” Shouto’s face turned pink. Izuku closed the gap before Shouto could question him and kissed him. Shouto purred, sending a shiver down Izuku’s spine. They spent several moments locked together, reveling in being together again. The ache of Izuku’s lungs forced him to pull away and take a deep breath. Shouto’s eyes were glazed over, a ghost of a smile still on his lips. His hair was still acting out, but thankfully hadn’t gotten any wilder.

Suddenly, struck by an idea, Izuku opened the camera app in Insta. He wrapped his unoccupied hand around Shouto’s waist, careful to avoid his hair. He looked at the camera with a roguish grin as Shouto continued to stare up at him with the same ethereal smile on his face. He took the picture, grinning at how well it turned out. Shouto finally seemed to realize his Quirk’s behavior and huffed in annoyance as he tried to put it out. Izuku just continued to smile as he tagged and posted his latest photo.

He is wild about me!

#Flawless Together #he’s mine #Endeavor f*ck off                  

________________________________________________________________

Would you like your work to be featured in the 365 Days of TodoDeku Project? Apply here! (≧∇≦)/

[hotcocosharing]

Double Troubles - the reunion. Part 11

Recap or familiarize with what happened click here

Picking up a little further ahead than where it was left off; the cast of Glory Days 20 years later have come back together for a college reunion; with life experiences, maturity (we hope) and are all hoping, for the least to have a good time. Let the magic unfold.

OC Eriko Sato & Midori Katayani

Voltage Canons Yukihisa Maki, Shunichiro Tachibana, Toshiakia, Shinichi Kagari & Rikiya

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11

OC Eriko Sato & Midori Katayani

Voltage Canons Yukihisa Maki, Shunichiro Tachibana, Toshiakia, Shinichi Kagari & Rikiya

Toshiaki’s POV

The suggestion of meeting up for coffee seems like less than a fun opportunity to catch up with an old friend and more like having teeth pulled out without anaesthetic at the dentist when it takes more effort than I had at first initially expected for Eriko to agree to come out to a coffee house in the west of town that over the last few years has held its reputation as being my favourite. Seated across from the woman that I haven’t physically seen in years yet manage to catch a glimpse of every now and again via skype or even get a look into her life by reading in between the lines of emails she on the rare occasion sends, I smirk. Eriko’s become the complete opposite of what at first I thought she’d be capable of – strong willed, ambitious and victorious in her own right.

Sipping leisurely on the coffee in front of me, it’s a routine gesture of fixing my posture and adjusting my tie which gives me the opportunity to think of what it is I should be saying - a carefully selected string of words that never actually comes out the way I’d intended.

"The wife’s staying in tonight. It’s Tachibana’s retirement party and… if you were available or free; I’d like it if you’d accompany me. Pretty please.”

Okay, there was the easy part…. the proposal of suggestion; it was now that I knew more than just a smile was going to be needed to get Eriko to agree. “Ipromise, I won’t force you to interact with anyone you don’t want to and if a young flirty creep comes up, I’ll do my best to not have them try and make a move on you. So what do you say? It’ll be fun… the workaholic finally free of all corporate responsibilities.”

Ok… now came the cliche part. Showing off the greatest boyish grin I could muster. Fingers crossed she agrees.

Midori’s POV

“What do you mean you’re not coming?”

“Yuki, for the thousandth time in the last hour he doesn’t want me there. He’s just being nice. I showed you the letter. Shunichiro has made his mind up about his life and my life and how they aren’t ever going to converge, and I don’t want to put myself through what I already know is going to happen. So just drop it – please.”

By this stage – one would think that a friend would give up on trying to convince me to attend an event I wasn’t [nee – certainly] wasn’t sure about, but Yukihisa? No. My long-time friend turned unexpectant brother figure has made himself comfortable rummaging through my wardrobe; pulling out things left right and centre as ‘maybes’ and ‘no’s for what I could possibly wear. Rolling my eyes, I fold my arms across my chest and attempt to reason with him.

“I don’t have anyone to take care of Sakura.” “That’s bullshit, I already called your mother and she said she was free tonight.” “You called my mother?” “Yes – one, because she adores me and two, because I knew if you were free – you wouldn’t be able to say no.”

Biting my tongue as to not say anything I regret, I pull the gift out I’d semi-panicked over trying to select and with both hands, hold it out, clearing my throat with a small cough and smiling as to not come across as a threat. “Here… just take this and give it to Shun.”

“…you’re going to give it to him yourself.”

Fuck you’re a jerk Maki.

“…..and wear this.”

Before I’ve got time to quarrel again, Yukihisa’s already made up some excuse about needing to get going because the party is starting in a few hours and how it would be rude as Shunichiro’s longest standing and most loyal friend to not be there. Rolling my eyes; I glance down at the dress laying on the bed and call out loudly, “Sakura! Mommy has some things to do tonight so grand-ma’s coming over to baby sit. Make sure your room is clean please!”

I can’t believe I’m being almost guilt into this. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Eriko Sato’s POV

Unmasked without foundation or concealer to cover my evidential sacrifices under my eyes, I gaze into the mirror, mainly at the man watching by the door frame whom has the fortune to see the most natural side of me for numerous of time. Setting our memories aside, the morning feast has done its wonder and the secret nearly slips through my grin- I miss him. Not sure if I should or what difference it might make but as of this moment, I miss Shinichi Kagari.

Shinichi Kagari’s POV

At this age, going onto mid 40s, one would think my actions should equal to maturity but the string of jealousy and admiration surge through my veins like I’m a hot headed twenty year old. The satisfying smile and praise from Eriko has sent me to cloud nine until she begins getting ready to be out and happilywickedly announces that she’s off to a date.

"With who? The guy who put a ring on you?” As if this would be the perfect morning-after conversation, I bring it up anyway- you never know with Eriko, this could be the last time I see her. “Does he like to share? Because I don’t."

Tone serious and colder than intended, my eyes are narrowed and fixed on her outfits- she looks nothing like a forty-year-old, confidence and youth seem to be in her favor. Lipgloss, lipstick, what are they called? Color on her cherry lips and a ponytail, it couldn’t be any simpler yet I’m still charmed by her stunning perfection.

"Are you jealous?"

Breath stuck in my throat, I couldn’t deny the obvious or the fact that I have absolutely no clue what this is or where we stand. Is there even a we?

"I miss you, Shinichi. Don’t think I should but I do and that’s that.”

Fuck, this is why I don’t need relationship. Unnecessary and overrated complications, unlike the beauty of mathematics- calculable and transparent.

“Lock up when you leave or stay.”

Her signature smirk leaves me hanging, standing alone in her apartment with train of thoughts murdering every single one of my brain cells- dishes, let’s start with dishes. Maybe a bit of chaos would take my eyes off things- why am I doing her housework?! Fuck she messes me up good!

Eriko Sato’s POV

Excitement turns cold at our irregular yearly ritual of exploring cafes around town the moment Toshiaki flashes his best boyish grin that only happens once in a blue moon and in need of something in return. Like the time he begged me to try on fancy dresses so he’d buy the right size for his wife or go hunting for the perfect anniversary gift with him. God, the things I do for this man!

Seated across the homme fatale who has caused me countless heartbreaks as well as a close friend for two decades, never once judge my immaturity or stubbornness. Despite our lack of meeting in person, our occasional emails exchange and Skype calls somehow pull us closer than I have with most people in my life.

The sun streaming across his face brings me slowly back to awareness, taking a moment to clear the fuzzy, warm feeling of seeing that rare but captivating smile from my brain and recognize there must be a reason for the choice of his words

“Does it mean Midori and ass face will be there?” I sigh helplessly, wondering how rude and offended I must have been twelve hours ago. Why do I even bother getting mad at two people who are no longer my concern? “Fine, when have I ever said no to you? Well… Just … that one time.” The words stumble out of my mouth, heavy with hesitation till my eyes meet his and the smiles re-emerge. No what if with this guy, I might have been reckless in my youth but rejecting Toshiaki Kijima is the one decision I don’t regret. He’s forever mine as I’m his, just in a very different kind of way. “There’s few hours left so you better go shopping with me so I’d choose a decent present. Are we absolutely sure that Tachibana is retiring? A leopard can’t change its spots.”

[luucarii]

With a Dash of Gin - Ch8

Meet the author, Ari, who takes nearly a week to write a chapter of a fic she had planned in her head days in advance.

Aka, I’m a mess and I’m once again sorry for the week-long wait.

Read on Ao3

Kokichi couldn’t get himself through the door to his dorm room faster once he watched Rantaro and his sisters turn the corner. They probably heard how loud the door slammed behind him but he honestly couldn’t care less. Pressing his back to the door, Kokichi slid to the ground, face incredibly hot. He couldn’t understand for the life of him why a simple kiss on the cheek was making him so damn flustered.

“Welcome home!” That was Kaede’s voice, chipper as always.

“How was your date?” There was Kaito, voice a pitch higher than usual. Oh Kokichi definitely had a few words for him.

“You keep teasing him and watch what’ll happen.” Maki huffed and Kokichi could hear Kaito making a gruff noise as if he didn’t care.

“He’s small but he can do some real damage!” Kaede teased and Shuichi let out a laugh.

Some friends they were.

As Kokichi rushed down the small hallway and looked into the middle of the room, he glared at his group of friends sitting in a close circle with the table in the center. Textbooks and notebooks littered the table and Kokichi couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the sight. Maki was in her corner, sitting with a notebook in her lap as she scribbled down whatever she deemed necessary from the textbook. Kaito was too busy making teasing faces at Kokichi, holding his hands over his heart like an overdramatic school girl. Kaede was in one of her giggle fits, grasping onto Shuichi’s arm to keep her upright while Shuichi seemed to be attempting to catch up with the situation — he sometimes got lost with things like that.

“He’s gonna attack you.” Maki muttered as she twirled a pencil in her fingers.

Kaito kept up his act, voice raising a pitch higher as he held his cheeks in his hands, “Rantaro kissed me, oh my god!”

Kaede let out a screech, her giggles erupting into full on laughs as she banged on the table. It somehow escalated even further when she watched Kokichi fling himself over the table, lightly ruffling up Kaito’s shirt as he spat out curses in his defense. Kokichi was throughly embarrassed but he continued to fight until the two of them were playfully wrestling in the cramped space on the floor.

“Kaito, you idiot! Stop butting into my business! I can’t believe you gave him my number!” Kokichi whined aloud in-between light punches.

“Wow, he really does sound like a school girl.” Shuichi commented and Kokichi shot up and glared at him.

“Shut up!”

Kokichi pulled himself away from Kaito and took the empty space beside Shuichi, exhaling loudly as he could to calm himself down. It wasn’t like him, hell since yesterday he really hasn’t been acting himself.

“I was doing you a favor. And it worked out perfectly! You guys went on another date, didn’t you?” Kaito smiled proudly, showing his teeth and Maki sent a unimpressed flick of her eyes.

“It was a horrible date. Completely and utterly terrible.” Kokichi sighed and reached over to grab a stray notebook. 

In that time, Kaede had managed to calm down, her face flush with excitement. As she stopped to catch her breath, she hiccuped a comment. “An obvious lie, you ran in here so fast I was worried you had whiplash.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so red. Did he really kiss you?” Shuichi looked over and Kokichi pouted, rolling his eyes.

“Oh all this attention on me, how lucky!” Inwardly, Kokichi wished he could change the subject, especially knowing if he said one thing about their date Kaede wouldn’t stop talking about it. But he couldn’t just ignore the question, Kaito would end up nudging him until he broke anyway. Kokichi hated having all this sudden attention on him sorely because of the new boy he liked but he didn’t mind talking about Rantaro. The green haired boy was his new favorite topic.

“It was a simple little cheek kiss. Nothing to go crazy—“

Nothing to go crazy over. Yet Kaede was squealing.

Though in her defense, it wasn’t as if Kokichi’s first reaction was modest to begin with. 

Kaede’s eyes lit up, “you two are absolutely adorable!”

“Someone’s a fan.” Maki grumbled and Kaede scooted over to her side, leaning into her.

“Look at him! He’s like our son meeting his first love! Kokichi’s growing up.” 

Maki sighed and attempted to shove Kaede off her, “please never call me the mother of that mess of a kid.”

Kokichi grinned, arms behind his head, “awww, Mom, do you give me and Ranty your blessing?”

Her eyes narrowed into her typical cold stare, “never call me that again.” 

“I bet Maki Roll here would be a great mom.” Kaito chimed in and Maki seemed ready to leap at his throat. Both in terms of his nickname for her and his teasing. 

“When did the conversation center on me? I thought we were talking about Kokichi.” Maki sighed as she hugged her notebook and rolled her eyes.

Kokichi let out a small chuckle. “Noot anymore, we were going to talk about Kaede and Shuichih and when they’re planning on finally becoming official!”

Kaede and Shuichi’s responses seemed to be caught in their throats as they couldn’t bring themselves to say anything. Maki seemed grateful that the topic drifted from her and Kaito joined in himself, lightly teasing Shuichi by asking when he was going to ask Kaede out. Kokichi sighed in contentment at his work, once again with a clever play of words he drifted the conversation from himself. 

All according to plan.

Kokichi loved the playful conversations with his friends, though usually it would be him making all the comments. He wasn’t used to everyone teasing him. It was too different. He didn’t like it.

Hopefully the Kaede/Shuichi topic would distract everyone long enough for Kokichi to suggest studying and Rantaro would be nothing but a fleeting thought in their minds.

The lingering smell of cooking food was what led Rantaro and his sisters through the front door of their house. Rantaro knew without a doubt that Sasori was working her magic in the kitchen. Her learning wasn’t just limited to just being educational, she dabbled in some domestic interests such as cooking and little DIY projects (or “life hacks,” whatever the hell she called them).

As expected, Sasori was indeed in the kitchen, lightly humming along to whatever hit song was playing on the radio at the moment. It wasn’t usually like her to keep up to date on current music (hell, most of her playlist consisted of songs from as early as 2014) but Rantaro just assumed Eri caught her up. As the two oldest sisters, they were the closest by far, though Saki and Kazu shared a close second with their loving, albeit rivalrous relationship.

Sasori was who Rantaro always assumed was Saki’s biological sister. Bright, piercing blue eyes and silver hair extending a little past her shoulders which were currently pulled high into a ponytail while she poured spices into a small pot, she definitely resembled Saki too much to be coincidence. 

“How was the anesthesia reading?” Rantaro questioned as he leaned on one of the kitchen chairs.

“Oh I finished that a while ago. I’m taking a new look on psychology.” She turned her head and gave a small smile toward her brother before she refocused on making the food. Figuring out what she was making was always a little bit difficult since the way she made food was a little unorthodox despite following the recipe. Sasori's food always turned out amazing, on par with their appointed maid/guardian’s meals, but it was a mystery until the meal was actually served.

“Not to be that person, but Kazu’s mentioned you and a boyfriend?” Sasori didn’t look back when she asked but he could hear the sheepish embarrassment in her voice.

“I met him today. He seems decent enough.” Saki huffed, looking up at her older brother and narrowing her eyes, “you could’ve chose someone a bit taller though.”

“I think so long as he’s taller than you, Rantaro’ll be fine.” Midori chimed in and Saki glared at her in return. Saki’s height was always something to tease her for. At just a little under five feet, she was the shortest in the family not counting Chizuru. Her haughty attitude always made her seem bigger than usual so Midori and Kazu would typically call her out on her height to bring her down a few notches. It was all usually playful teasing but the older siblings knew to step in when it went too far.

“So petty.” There was the snarky remark from Kazu who seemed to hear the conversation from the other room. Chizuru and Eri followed behind her and the whole family was settled in one room, which was usually how it ended up by dinner time and late evenings. Whether it was sitting at the table for dinner or simply curling up in blankets in the living room to watch a movie, the Amami family — at least this branch of it — was very close.

The five sisters each took a seat at the table while Sasori was still working at the food. Rantaro in the meanwhile went to shower, expecting dinner to be ready by the time he came out. The bickering conversation faded slowly but surely as Rantaro turned the corner to his room. The last thing he heard was Midori asking Sasori about helping her with her summer work and Rantaro was grateful she actually asked.

While rummaging around his room for clothes, the quiet buzz of Rantaro’s phone caught his attention. He figured it was Kokichi at first, maybe calling to distract himself from the study session — which Rantaro would have to find some way to sweetly encourage him to get back to studying. The caller ID was a person he hadn’t heard from in a while: the father appointed maid and guardian for Rantaro and his sisters. She was essentially a second mother to them all but for the past few months she was stationed in Tokyo with Rantaro’s father. There really wasn’t much Rantaro knew about the situation, according to both the maid and his father, it was nothing they needed to worry about.

Upon seeing the name, Rantaro already assumed it was a heads up about her coming home. It was really the only thing that logically made sense considering how little he knew of his father’s situation.

“Rantaro? I can’t be on for long but I needed to call and check up on you and the girls. Is everything alright at home?” 

“Yeah, same old really. Though with summer break coming up Sasori, Eri and I are gonna be pretty busy keeping up with Kazu and the others.” Rantaro could only imagine how many plans Midori and Kazu would end up making with their friends.

“I’m still here with your father. Something important came up and I can’t leave anytime soon. He’s ordered me to stay here with your other siblings until further notice.” There was something else in her voice that Rantaro couldn’t quite catch but wariness edged in his stomach.

“I’ve got it, don’t worry about it. Keep an eye on him for me, okay?”

She hummed a response before mumbling a quick goodbye and cutting off the line. Rantaro threw his phone on the bed and sighed, running a quick finger through his hair. He shouldn’t have been thinking too deep into it.

Everything was fine.

[fortune-failing]

London Plan Resolution

(Atmey warning: it’s really gay. Midori warning: it starts weird but gets better around halfway?) After session 74, in the highland village of tieflings

London

Between 1 and 2 in the late night, the door of the bards' room opened, and London quietly entered.

Faelian

At some point before London had left that night Faelian had asked to borrow his flute. After London took a few steps into the room he could hear the music clearly and loudly.

/r 1d20+3

fightdiceBOT

@Faelian: 1d20+3 = (16)+3 = 19

Faelian

He was playing pretty well and didn't even notice London enter the room.

London

London crept, carefully taking off his boots and debating an interruption. With little thought, his ingenius idea was to head straight for the bathroom and get washed off while listening to the gentle tune with the door wide open.

/r 1d20+1

fightdiceBOT

@London: 1d20+1 = (18)+1 = 19

Faelian

/r 1d20+1

fightdiceBOT

@Faelian: 1d20+1 = (16)+1 = 17

London

He creeps unnoticed.

Faelian

Faelian didn't notice London at all and continued playing. His attention focused completely on the window.

London

Some time later, London exits now clean. He stands in front of the door not wanting to interrupt. Just how long was Faelian going to play music?.... He watches.

Faelian

Faelian stops now and takes in a deep breath. It took way more energy to play the flute instead of a lute. Maybe he just wasn't used to wind instruments though. As he moves to put the flute away he notices London and freezes. He notices the guy is exiting the bathroom instead of coming through the main door. "Huh? When did you come in?"

London

"I've been here a while." London smiled and finally moved to sit next to the blond on the bed. "Have you been playing all night?"

Faelian

"Oh? I didn't hear you come in. I guess I was playing pretty loud. No, I wasn't playing all night. I took a long bath before playing. What have you been up to?"

London

"Uh, I've been... talking to people I guess... and debating that whole crystal water ball thing...." London gets comfortable on the bed. Before he forgets, he pushes his old cape into the trash. Finally it can rest in peace.

Faelian

"Did you want to see it after all? We could stop be before we leave tomorrow if you want." He leans over on London slightly after watching him trash his cape. "Too many holes?"

London

"Nah, I decided I don't want to go. And uh, yeah. It's pretty useless now. But I have new clothes, so it doesn't matter." He lied back and looked at Faelian.

Faelian

"Maybe that's for the best. I wonder why I didn't see anything though..." He sighs heavily. "Yeah.. i'm glad you'll be getting some new clothes. Walking around with those blood stains.. well, it's not a very good image. You'll look suspicious." He smirks. He leans his head on London's shoulder and hugs him tightly. After a moment he pulls back up and looks back down at him again. His arms stay loosly wrapped around the other bard.

London

"Hehe, you think? I'm not sure why you didn't see anything, though. Maybe I would have seen nothing, too. That's funny to imagine." He hugs Faelian back and smiles when looks at him again.

Faelian

He laughs a little. "Yeah maybe. At least I wasn't the only one who saw nothing. Beaford seemed relieved that I didn't see anything either." He nuzzles his nose into the crook of London's neck playfully.

London

London patted Faelian's head and continued to pet him a bit while sighing. "Today was a long day, huh? Are you doing okay?"

Faelian

Faelian hummed comfortably as he was petted. "Yeah. I'm alright. I can't say those orcs didn't deserve what happened but things left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I feel better after wasting some energy playing music though." He presses a few kisses on London's neck and jawline now. Sorry if this looks gay to the viewers. :prefersmen:

London

"Ah, sorry if that bothered you... You really aren't comfortable with violence, huh?" He tried to continue their serious conversation, but his face was growing more red thanks to the kisses.

Faelian

"It's not your fault. It's not like we could have tied them all up and brought them down the mountain to jail after all. I really hate violence. I'm not sure if I ever will be comfortable with it. Do you think it'd be better if I tried to get used to it? Maybe it would make things easier on me?" He pulls back a little and looks at London again.

London

London moves forward to give Faelian a quick kiss on the lips before resting his head back down again. "Don't think that. It's warriors and mercenaries who need to get blood on their hands, but we're bards. We're lovers, not fighters." He turns his head to give Faelian a second kiss on his hand.

Faelian

Faelian kisses London back for as long as the short kiss lasted. He tilted his head a little and looked down at London afterwards. A smile slowly makes it's way on his lips at hearing London say that. It was surprisingly comforting to hear those words. His cheeks warmed when London kissed his hand afterwards. "Thanks, London. I think that's just what I needed to hear." He laughs a little and leans down to press another kiss on London's lips. It's a short kiss but he starts slowly pressing more kisses against London's jawline and neck afterwards.

London

"I'm glad." He smiled and scrunched his shoulders up as his neck tickled by Faelian's lips. He laughed between words. "Don't be afraid to look away if anything bad happens. Once we're done with our journey, you won't have to see anything bad like that again."

Faelian

Faelian laughed softly while close to London's neck. It was hard not too when he was scrunching up like that and it probably didn't help london's current situation. "You're really ticklish, huh?" He pauses for a few moments while listening to London. "Okay... Thanks, London." Faelian gives the red bard another smile and his hands start to wander on London's sides and chest. He gives London a curious look as if asking if it's okay.

London

London laughed timidly. His red cheeks answered the ticklish question for him. But as Faelian started getting touchy, London was getting red for a different reason. Instantly his mind started to wander onto other things and he looked a little sad. "F-faelian you know.. I really regret the fact I get crushes so easily sometimes..." Without turning his head, his eyes looked to the side shyly. But despite saying this, London showed no resistance to Faelian's motions and even helped him by sitting up to make access under his clothes easier.

Faelian

Faelian's hands paused when that sad look crossed London's features. After listening to London he furrowed his brows slightly, thinking in silence for a moment. Eventually he smiled softly instead. "London... don't worry about it too much. I've thought about it lately and It's not like you can control that anyway... and I might still have a small crush on Noronir too.. I was just a little shocked and got over emotional. It was a tense and hectic time.. I'm sorry for making you feel bad about it. You shouldn't." He shook his head softly and gave London a small smile. His hands start to wander again now, creeping underneath London's clothes this time. His fingertips moving more slowly and delicately than before as he carefully felt of the other's skin.

London

"But it's not okay..." His breathing was a bit heavy for multiple reasons. "It's not as simple as just crushing on someone..." London held his head down.

Faelian

Faelian's hands pause again. "I still love Noro.. It's not the same as before but I think there might always be some linguring feelings. I shouldn't have got so worked up about Zarek." There's a small pause. "Don't be sad, London. It'll be okay." He brushes the red bard's bangs back and places a gentle kiss on his forehead.

London

London's hand sweeps Faelian's kiss away. "N-no, it's not like that at all! I'm afraid I'm going to do worse than just crush on someone!"

 "..." Taking a deep breath didn't stop his face from feeling hot, but he continued. "You know, when we were helping that Bear guy... Dahli, right? That lady talked about doing a favor if we helped her.. and I kind of thought, maybe I'd go for it.... I don't honestly know how good I am at this relationship thing. This is the first time anyone's ever seriously liked me, and I just keep thinking what if it happens again?"

 "You know, my parents were always hiding stuff from each other, so maybe it's their fault I have no trust in myself in regards to romance. But sometimes I get really sad, and I'm not exactly sure what I actually want. I just find myself yearning for something more even though I should already be happy. That's bad, isn't it? I want to be grateful for what I have.. Even if you are the only person who loves me in the world.. I told myself if I could have that much then I wouldn't need anything else, so why would I risk that for someone else's feelings? I really am garbage, and you deserve someone better." London's sudden and spontaneous rant finally came to a close.

Faelian

Faelian frowns when his kiss is wiped away. He listens to London once again talk about that woman who propositioned him. He listens quietly through London's whole rant and carefully takes in his words. "...Are you really that weak, London? Weak to lust? Would you really not consider me and my feelings at all? Not when debating doing that with someone else.. not when going to a place to do it.. not when taking off your clothes? During all those moments you really wouldn't stop and think. 'Hey, this will really hurt Faelian. Maybe I should talk about it first and tell him i'd rather be in open relationships after all.' Is sex with a random stranger that important to you? More important than my feelings and thoughts? Do you really think something like that is a crush? That someone who randomly asks for sex is in love with you?"

"...I guess something like that would cause this. Your parents shouldn't have done that." He sighs softly, his face clearly shows his disappointment in how little London trusts himself. "I don't know what will make you happy, London, but I really wish I did. And I don't have the answers for you either. I don't understand why you feel the way you do or why you think the way you do. Would you be happier if it wasn't me? Will anything ever make you happy?"

"Why do you always think so badly of yourself? I don't think you're garbage and I despise hearing you say such a thing about yourself." His voice grows stern." Do not call someone I love garbage." He sighs again softly and goes back to his softer tone. "I think you need to learn the difference between love and lust."

London

"I-I know the difference!!" He retorted in an insulted tone. "I just think... what if someone else did like me...? My whole life, I thought no one could... and now that I have you, and I should be grateful, but another part of me is still wants more. Is it really true that no one else in the world will ever love me? I guess I'm just in denial and want to believe otherwise, but it's tough.. Like you said, that lady wasn't really interested in me. I'm just fooling myself. And thinking this is just hurting you and our relationship. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Faelian

"Are you really sure you do, London? Do you mean romantic love or just love? Because i'm sure that some people in our group already love you as a friend. I'm sure more people will love you in the future too. You're a loveable person. But even if someone loves you romantically that doesn't mean you have to have sex with them. Love and sex don't have to go hand in hand." He reaches over softly and pats London's hand.

"How many times have I already told you that if things become too much we can go to open relationships or date on and off? I've told you so many times. I didn't think it would be this soon but If this feeling is eating you up this badly on the inside there isn't much else I can do..." His eyes get a little watery. "If you're not happy with this then I can't be either."

London

"I don't know.... but you've said before you hate the idea of open relationships. Don't act like you're suddenly okay with them now... I'm not saying that's what I want." London accepted the pat and sighed. "I'm only bringing this up because I thought I found a better solution for both of us."

Faelian

"I've said again and again that it was an option and you always push it away. I said it when we first talked about it. I said it when you first told me you were unhappy, before we got together. I've said again and again that it was an option in the future so don't act like I haven't. You also said that you didn't prefer one on one and you tried that for me so why shouldn't I be allowed to try this for you, If that's what you really need?

He looks curious at hearing those words. "A better solution?"

London

"That's different..." London looks embarrassed. "I don't want an open relationship anymore. I want to be happy with just you.. Pawo and Beaford always look happy.. So I want to be able to give that to you, too..."

 He leans closer to Faelian. "Faelian I love you. I don't want to love anyone else. So I found a way to ensure that I couldn't love anyone else." He kisses him.

Faelian

"What's different?" He continues to look confused with a small frown on his face. "You don't? I wish you could just be happy with me too but.. will your solution really help?" He looks away. "..They do look happy, huh?" He really wished they could be like them sometimes.

His cheeks warm when London moves closer and says those words and kisses him. He kisses him back softly in return. For some reason he can't help but feel a little confused and a little worried. What is London even talking about? What does he mean by ensuring away he wouldn't love someone else? "..I love you too, London. ..What do you mean? What have you done?"

London

"I haven't done anything yet." As he talks, he tries to goad Faelian into laying down on the bed while he begins to return the earlier kisses on Faelian's now revealed stomach. Pausing just to talk.

"Listen, if you agree to this, I promise to drink the Lost Flower potion and stay with you forever. This is way more informal than I planned, but we can get married and I'll never leave you. That's what you want more than anything, right? And I want to make you happy.. What all of this comes down to is, as long as I have you I shouldn't need anyone else."

 "I know you said that there are others who love me, but that's too hard to believe. Even if we do consider the people in the group... Pawo resists caring about anyone too much, and Zarek... well, he says he cares, but after what happened earlier, I'm still not sure what to think of him." He sighs.

Faelian

"Then what are you planning on doing?" Faelian doesn't really resist and his face grows red when London starts pressing kisses on his skin. He quickly sits back up though when the flower potion is mentioned. "Huh? You'll drink it? Only if I agree to whatever it is you want to do? What is it?" His chest tightened slightly at hearing the purposal but there was no way he was agreeing without hearing what it was first.

"Of course it would make me happy if you drank the lost flower potion and to marry you someday but... will you really be happy with that? Are you sure you're not just upset and rushing into something you'll regret later?" He wasn't convinced at all after London's earlier confession that he wasn't happy.

He moves both of his hands to London's cheeks, gently moving his head to face him so that he can look him in the eyes. "Did something happen earlier? Did you two fight? People can argue and still love each other, you know? I don't doubt that Zarek loves and values you as a friend. Pawo's a different story I can't understand him but Beaford probably loves you too."

London

London was ready to continue his advances but Faelian grabbing his face interrupted them. He used an arm to push them away. "You're so cheesy. Romaticizing everything like that will just make you an idiot. I didn't fight with Zarek. It's just... he didn't take me seriously when I said some things... and now whatever future plans we had to hang out after everything are ruined. It's half my fault, but I can't help feeling bummed about it. We really haven't talked a ton since the, so I don't know... He's all talk." London sighs. "And you're blind if you think Beaford loves me."

Faelian

He sighs. "I guess so.. I think the biggest problem is Aneris. Zarek's a smart good guy. If she doesn't change I can't see him staying with her for too long. He didn't seem to agree with the things she did earlier..." He moves one of his hands to gently tuck some of London's hair behind his ear. "Beaford is a good friend isn't he? I feel like being friends is a kind of love to start with anyway. You can't be friends if you don't like each other or care about each other's well-being after all."

"Anyway we can talk about them later. What was this solution of yours?"

London

"You're an idiot.." He frowns and turns his head away. "I need to think things over so maybe we can talk about it later."

Faelian

"You're an idiot too, you know." He sighs before smiling softly. "Alright then, London. We'll talk about it later... it's late and you're probably sleepy anyway." He leans close to London and presses a small kiss on his cheek. Afterwards he starts slowly moving under the covers.

London

London falls over to lay next to Faelian. "You know, the issue really isn't in others liking me.. It's the fact I want them to like me, but I can't help liking people back.. Even if you say stuff like 'it's a friend way' or 'it's in a romantic way,' for me there's no difference between the two. I've never had the chance to have someone like me before, so.. what if I did, and I liked them just as much as you? You'd definitely be hurt! So stop pretending you wouldn't be."

He sits up again. "I made a potion that would make it so that I couldn't love anyone else. I did this for everyone's sake. So that you could have what you wanted, and so that I could be friends with Zarek without caring that he was dating Aneris and shit. It would be better for everyone.. I'm confident of it.. I wouldn't have to deal with heartbreak, and I'd have you, so there's nothing else to worry about...." London's voice trembled. It was as though he were trying to reassure himself more than Faelian.

Faelian

"That's why I told you that you needed to learn the difference earlier. It's kind of obvious you've been thinking of them without any difference between them. ..It's not a good way to think. Everyone who offers you sex doesn't love you and everyone who loves you won't want sex." A pause. "I'm not pretending that I won't be hurt... of course I would be. I love you so much.." He sits back up. "You have to learn to have some self control if you're this easily swayed by those kind of things, London. You need to learn what's really important and what isn't.."

"..Huh? A potion?" A potion that would make London only love him? "You made a love potion?" The tremble in London's voice made him feel even more worried. "Will that really be better? Do you really need something like that to stay with me? To keep yourself from cheating?" His eyebrows furrow and he seems hurt by that thought. "Isn't something like that too much?"

London

"But even if I know the difference, I won't be able to help liking others! And no one likes me anyway, so it doesn't matter. The potion will fix everything.. It's better to just like one person. We could be happier. I'd be fixing myself."

Faelian

Faelian holds his own arms and looks down while thinking to himself quietly. He's silent for quiet a while. "But it would be fake.. it wouldn't really be you making those choices. What if it does something unepected? What if you change and become like someone different? I don't want you to change.. I'd love for us to be happier.. I'd love it if you took the flower potion but.. I don't like this. It makes me feel bad. I don't want you to be closer to me only because took a thing that forced you to do so. Knowing something like that.. it might make me resent you."

"If you took the flower potion we'd always have the time to get back together again if you wanted to be with someone else for a while. Can't you just take that instead?" He looks back up at London with a pleading look on his face.

London

"It wouldn't be forcing me, though. It's still my choice whether to love you or not. The potion is me saying I don't want to love anyone else. Without it, I'm sure that's bound to happen countless times because even if I'm scared of trusting people, it still makes me happy when they act like they care for me and talk me through stuff. I already love countless people, and that's not fair to you."

"This is the first time I've ever felt so cared for by so many people, so maybe that's the issue. Before I thought I'd be happy with just you, but now I'm realizing you aren't the only kind person in the world. I'm just really confused... I'm sorry." London couldn't look Faelian in the eyes anymore.

Faelian

"It's still unnatural.. I don't want you to be loyal to me only because of a potion. It hurts me to think that that's the only way you'll be able to trust yourself. I hate it." His eyes water up more and a few tears fall down his cheeks once he blinks.

He moves now, half laying on his pillow, hugging it and hiding most of his face in it. "...I don't know what to do. I don't want you to take it but you're clearly not happy with just me. Nothing good happens for me either way.." He turns his head away from London.

London

"Wha-? D-don't cry!" London sat back up and started fretting with a worried tone. "I didn't want this to make you sad, I'm sorry Faelian! I just thought, if it's not something I can help, then isn't this the only way to fix things? Am I just hopeless then?" He shook Faelian's shoulder waiting for an answer.

Faelian

Faelian hesitantly turns his head back towards London to look at him. His eyes are still teary but he looks like he's doing his best to keep any more from falling. "..I don't know.. I just.. I don't like the idea of you taking a potion because you can't trust yourself. It scares me and makes me feel bad.. It scares me to think your personailty might change.. I love your current personailty... If you changed it wouldn't be you anymore. You're overthinking things again and going to extreme measures."

"If you really feel unhappy with just me then there really isn't anything to do but but be in open relationships or be sex friends or break up.. but.. I really don't want to break up. I like being with you." He hugs his pillow tighter and sighs shakily.

London

London held his breath to listen and stared down at the elf. "So you're really fine if I loved others just as much as you as long as we don't break up? Even if I say I'd rather take the potion to just be with you?" Any sign of sadness from earlier seemed to have vanished as he spoke.

Faelian

Faelian sits up but doesn't let go of the pillow. "That's not exactly what I said but it's clear that what we have now isn't going to work. You've been so wound up and nervous and unhappy.. We might as well try something different. And I don't want to try something as extreme as a potion that binds yourself to me. I don't want you to have to change a part of your personailty for me. I don't want to risk losing who you are now."

London

"Geez... A potion shouldn't change that much. But if you're that sure you don't like it, I'll just throw it away then." He stands up.

Faelian

Faelian nods. "Yeah... I don't like it. It scares me and it's not fair to you." He looks up at London when he stands up. "So are we going to change to open relationships? I want us to be absolutely clear so that there isn't any confusion."

London

"I don't know.." He grabs his bag and walks over to the window.

Faelian

"Well.. I guess that's fair. We can give it a little while to think about. I still think it would be the easiest way to solve the current problem though." He watches London while still holding onto the pillow. He doesn't seem as upset as he was earlier.

London

London took out the potion and stared at it for a minute before turning it around to pour outside with a sigh.

Faelian

Faelian got up and moved to stand beside London as he poured the potion out. "I'm sorry, London. I really think it's better this way.." He attempts to hold London's free hand in his own.

London

He didn't resist the hand holding but didn't show any effort in returning the gesture. "It's okay... I shouldn't have acted like it was all for you anyway. I was just being weak and didn't want to worry about these things anymore." After the bottle was emptied, he pulled away from Faelian and walked back to fall sideways onto the bed once again.

Faelian

He sighs softly and looks out the window at the ground where London's potion now rested "...That's okay. Even if it you said it wasn't just for me it probably would have still ended up like this. ..I don't know when it will happen but you'll feel better. We have to go through hard times sometimes. We can't get stronger if we don't." He sighs softly and heads back over to the bed to join London. Once there he moved beside London and wrapped his arms around him tightly in an attempt to comfort him.

London

"Well, I guess that's done. I guess I'll try to stop feeling less guilty for liking others, but I don't know... I still think the potion would have been the best way to go. Then we wouldn't have to worry about anyone else." London hid his face on the covers.

Faelian

"Yeah.. try not to worry too much about it, alright?" He pulled London even tighter against himself and nuzzled his nose into his hair. "It was tempting but.. I don't want that kind of thing. It's too unnatural. It'll be okay. If you get sad over Zarek and need to talk please come to me. Don't hold your feelings in all the time okay? Yell if you wanna yell and cry if you need to." He presses a kiss into London's hair and then starts gently combing his fingers through it.

London

"It's not that simple... geez..." London moves his head up pouting. "And it's not that romantic or cute either. I'm just annoyed... I don't deserve to be babied over this."

London sighed and sat back up. "So you really really don't care if I like others? And you think that's fine and won't mess things up in the future? This isn't about anyone in particular. I just thought it would be bad.. and I felt guilty, I guess. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with the potion thing, so I think you were the one overreacting...."

Faelian

"I know it's not that simple but even if it helps a little bit i'm willing to listen to your troubles. And I'm not trying to be romantic. I'm trying to comfort you. You've apparently been stressing for way longer than you've been letting on. I want you to feel better." He sits up as well. "Would you like it better if I pinched you?"

He nods. "Yeah. You can't help how you feel anyway so there's no use in me getting upset. I can't really get too upset when I still like Noro anyway. I don't think you liking other people in the future will mess things up. The only thing I ask is that you tell me if you want to be in open relationships or not because I don't want to be cheated on or snuck around behind if you're really scared that might happen. I want to know upfront what to expect out of our relationship. Don't just leave it up to me to figure out on my own."

"Maybe I was overreacting about the potion but the idea honestly scared me. It made me a little mad too. Trust in yourself a little more.."

London

"P-pinched...?" He grabbed his own arm wondering how he would defend himself, but afterwards carefully listened to what Faelian had to say. "I'm not sure what I want... I'm just nervous about everything. Like I want to be able to say I love you, but I'm also kind of scared of intimacy... It feels like ever since we got together every little thing has some huge impact, and I'm not sure I'm ready for it. I know most of it is just in my imagination, but I've also made you cry a lot! I didn't want this.. I'm sorry. I probably just agreed too quickly to things and should have waited for when I was more confident... I know I said the reason for the delay was because I wanted you to prove it, but.. I actually probably waited a week just because I was nervous."

Faelian

He probably really would pinch him if he said yes with the way he was feeling right now. "Yeah.. I kinda noticed that you keep worrying and over thinking everything. I tried my best to calm you down but it didn't seem like any of it helped. You stressing made me stress a little too.. It certainly was your imagination. The huge things you kept getting worked up over didn't bother me nearly as much as you thought.

 "...Did you think an open relationship or just being sex friends would help you calm down? Or uh.. did you want to call it off and wait a while to date?" He hesitantly peeks over at the other with a frown.

London

London leaned back hugging himself while staring at the ceiling in thought. "I don't know.... Like let's say we were just friends... I'd still want to cuddle and kiss you and say I love you and stuff... how is that any different from dating? But if we call it an open relationship, I don't know how comfortable I'd be... I think I'd feel too guilty to date anyone else.. so that's no different from what we have now anyway... No matter what happens, I just can't bring myself to do anything intimate lately. I'm just being a baby.." He sighed.

Faelian

Faelian looks even more confused for a moment. He leans over the other a little to look down at him. "Hm.. do you want to just be friends who cuddle and kiss and stuff but not say we're in open relationship or dating? ...That doesn't sound too bad if that's what you want. I'd still want to cuddle and kiss you too.. and maybe more when you eventually feel up for it."

London

"Doesn't that sound dumb, though...? And wouldn't it make you sad? I do like the idea of a relationship, but I'm just scared of the responsibilities attached. Isn't it gross I lack any confidence in myself and can't even promise to stay committed? Why are you so nice? I don't understand how you could still love me.." London looked hurt while staring back into Faelian's eyes.

Faelian

"It doesn't sound dumb.. I don't know... wouldn't it be better than nothing? I'm not really sure what you want. Do you just want to break up then? You said you'd still want to kiss and stuff if we did? It sounds like you don't like any of the options but you're going to have to pick something, London." "It's not gross... I think you have a lot you need to learn though. About relationships and stuff. You overthink things and make things way more complicated then they have to be. I don't know why i'm so nice about it. This is just how I am. Just because you're confusing and make things more complicated than they need to be doesn't give me a reason to not love you." He sighs softly and continues to just look down at the other. Looking into his eyes while desperately wishing London made a little more sense.

London

Hearing Faelian mention breaking up made London's frown deepen. "I know it doesn't make any sense.... but I guess we do need to do something..." He mumbled. "So you're really okay with just being friends as long as we can kiss and cuddle? I know I'm being confusing, but you aren't making things very clear either... What would make you happy? And what would make you sad?"

Faelian

"Yeah.. we can't just stay undecided so we have to do something." His eyes get a little watery again and he nods. "Yeah. Maybe doing things that way will make things a little less stressful for the both of us." He looks confused again. "What do you mean? I thought I was being clear. Please ask me what you want to know and i'll give you the answers. " He shakes his head a little at hearing the next thing. "It's nice that you have my happiness in mind London but you can't base everything on what makes me happy or sad.." "I think being friends who are a lot closer than normal will be fine for now. I want you to feel better and for us both to free less stressed out. Knowing that you're unhappy with what we have now makes me unhappy too. Maybe someday we can try to date again properly though. That would make me happy."

London

"Look, you're already about to cry." London huffed and used a sleeve to wipe Faelian's eyes. "We don't know if breaking up would really make me happy.. That's why I'm asking. Maybe there's some other compromise that won't make you upset..."

Faelian

"I'm just emotional. Don't worry about it." He sighs softly and closes his eyes as London wipes his face off. "Even though i'm a little upset now half of that's because you're upset. It's hard to think of any other compromises.. did you have any in mind?" "Actually.. why did you turn down the lost flower potion? Do you think growing old is important? Was it too much?"

London

"Yeah, but I want you to be honest with me. It does make you sad, doesn't it?" London moved his face closer to Faelian's as he spoke. He lowered his eyes. "The potion... does scare me, I guess. I always imagined I'd live and die a short life without having to worry about things in advance and without having to think much about the future. And now look at me. I'm a farseer. It's all I do anymore. Weird, right?" London laughed and finally pulled away to rest his head on the pillow. "So much has been changing, and I'm scared of all of it. I'm sorry for being paranoid and overreacting. I just don't even know what I'll be doing in 10 years, nevermind 100... It's intimidating to think about... and we've only known eachother for what?... 3 years? It's a lot to consider..."

Faelian

"Well.. if i'm being honest then yes, the current situation makes me sad. I want to make you happy but I want to be happy too. And you're feeling the same way, right? You're unhappy and confused about what you want and there's not much I can do about it. It's hard not to feel a little sad." "It does seem like it could be scary but if you're that scared of it why did you suggest drinking it earlier?" He chuckled a little. "Yeah. I guess it is a little weird. You wanted them back though right? I'm glad you got them back. A short life without having to think about the future sounds a little boring, doesn't it?" He moved now as well, laying his head on London's pillow and facing him. "I know it's a lot to consider.. I only asked though because if you did take it then I wouldn't have to worry as much about you falling in love with someone else. Because even if you did we could eventually get back together someday and I wouldn't have to worry about you growing old and dying.. I wouldn't have even suggested this at all if you didn't bring it up earlier. Even though i'm suggesting it again i'm not asking for you to take it anytime soon. You can give it a few years to think about." "So right now the only compromises I can think of is just being friends who are closer than normal with the hope that we'll be something more someday when you're ready. Or that maybe in a few years you'll reconsider my potion and we can be in other relationships with the knowledge that we could always return to each other whenever we wanted."

London

London started getting emotional. "I thought if I took the potion to make me only love you... then I wouldn't care if I lived longer than everyone else. All I'd need was you, so nothing else would matter, and nothing would hold me back from marrying you and living a long life together...." He got embarrassed from the thought, but it was more out of shame than anything. He hid his face with an arm. "If I didn't plan to live long, I could do anything I'd want. There's no reason to fear the law.... or what others think of you... no need to make lifelong commitments or follow some stupid habits... I could just be free and have fun and live life as I please, you know? I guess that's the kind of life I wished to live." He took his arm back off his head to look at the ceiling longingly. Ah, there's a spiderweb up there. He squints.

Faelian

Faelian presses his forehead against the side of London's head and wraps his arms back around him. "..Oh... Well if you don't really want to take the lost flower potion, that's alright. It's a big commitment after all. Probably the biggest anyone's ever asked you.. I just want you to consider it again in a few years maybe.." "...I'd love to marry you someday.. maybe it can happen when you're actually ready. Just don't wait until you're a old man if you really want to marry me someday, okay?" He smiles softly. "What would you do any differently if you did live longer? You wouldn't have to stick to the same habits.. I guess lifelong commitments are a little overwhelming when you can live as long as you want. But.. London.. the potion doesn't make you immortal, you know? You could still get sick or injured and die before getting help. It's not guaranteed that you'll live forever. It's not guaranteed that i'll live out my entire life either. Unexpected things happen.." "Do you feel differently now? Do you still really want to live a short life?" He frowns. "It's not like you can't live a long life and do whatever you want either. Look at Aneris's father." He glances up towards the ceiling but doesn't move.

London

Being so close to London, Faelian could now sense the pace of his breathing quicken as London thought more about the lost flower potion. "If I lived longer... I'm more worried I'd run out of things to do, I guess... Saying I just do whatever I want is an overstatement. I've spent my whole life doing nothing. More time just sounds like a burden... Knowing you could die just makes it more risky..." He swallowed back his fear and looked at Faelian. "B-but... you already have to live that long, huh?... This must sound cold.."

Faelian

Faelian stayed silent while listening to the other. It was easy to tell he was getting a little worked up about this. "It's alright, London. We don't have to talk about it. I just.. i'll really miss you when you're gone." He smiles sadly and averts his eyes for a moment. His fingers hold onto London's clothes a little more tightly than before. "It's alright.. it doesn't really sound cold.. it must seem so scary to a human." He brushes London's hair away from his face. "I've already lived for over a hundred years.. it must be because i'm an elf that I have no fear of going through that many years. I don't think i'll be bored either. I'll have a lot of time to learn anything I want, to do anything I please, and to visit so many places.."

London

"Well, you were also stuck in a tower for most of that time... It's not hard to imagine you'd think life outside of that place is huge and exciting now that you're free." London smirks looking back at Faelian, but quickly regains his serious expression. "You really want me to drink that potion, huh..."

Faelian

He laughs a little. "That might be true. My parents never seemed bored of life though. Noronir either." His own smile is quickly replaced by a thoughtful look and a slight frown. "I don't want to say yes. I don't want you to drink it just because I want you too. I don't want you to do anything that scares you, especially a commitment like this. Just consider it in a few years for me, okay? In the meantime we can just be closer-than-friends." He smiles softly and cuddles against London.

London

London's eyes narrow as he remembers how bored Faelian said he used to be and compares that to how weird Noronir and his parents are. Maybe elves really are genetically different... He thinks. "I mean... why else would I want to live that long if not for you? I think I could be content in dying in ten or fourty years or less..."

Faelian

Faelian averts his eyes for a few moments before placing them back on London. "You don't have any other reason except me to live longer? I don't want you to die that soon at all.. There's still so much we could do together..." He laughs sadly. "I guess it's pretty selfish to want that, isn't it?"

London

"Well....." London almost considers mentioning how his friends and family would die, but that just made the fact Faelian was stuck living for centuries sound more sad. "Hmm...." "From my position, we already have tons of time to do stuff together..."

Faelian

"I guess it is a lot of time from your position." He grows silent for a few moments. "Alright.. don't worry about it, okay? I might uh.. ask you again in a few years though.. just in case you've changed your mind by then." He cuddles against london a little more and sighs softly.

London

"Do you think something would change my mind?" He raises an eyebrow.

Faelian

"I don't know. It might be possible.. or maybe it's just me hoping."

London

With more energy than necessary, London quickly sits up now at a position where Faelian couldn't see his face. "I guess I could say something like 'What's wrong if I want to do something like this for only you?' I mean, it's not bad to be selfish and get spoiled every once in a while, right? And after everything I put you through, maybe you deserve something nice.... But.............."

Faelian

Faelian lets out a surprised sound when London sits up so quickly without warning. He slowly sits up too and tries to get a look at London's face if he can. "It's okay.. just let me hold onto some false hope. I don't think you owe me for being confused about your feelings. I know it's scary and honestly.. if you asked me to take a potion to grow older for you, i'd have to turn you down."

London

London was about to continue but stopped short, "H-huh? You really wouldn't? Even if it was for me?" He moves towards Faelian and looks at him with the most pitiful expression he could manage.

Faelian

Faelian smiles sadly but it soon grows into a real smile at seeing London's pitiful expression. "No. It would kind of be like asking me to die ahead of my time.. and the idea of looking old is kind of scary." He scratches into his hair near his neck a little. "Anyway.. what were you saying?"

London

In response, London pouts. "You nerd..." He insults then turns his head downwards while smiling weakly. "The thing is, I've been deluding myself all day... I keep swinging between thinking I shouldn't risk trusting others and thinking there actually are kind people in the world, but in the end, it doesn't matter if they're good or evil... Even when I tried to tell myself you were the only person who cared for me and who I could believe in, I knew that wasn't true... No matter how awful I try to make everyone out to be, the fact still stands that I really love this world and all of the people in it. Only some messed up brainwashing potion could make me think otherwise..." He sighs.

Faelian

"You're so silly, London. Of course there are other kind people in this world and of course there are more people who could love and care about you. I'm not really sure what that has to do with eternal youth though." He looks down at his hands which are now holding each other.

London

"I'm saying this because I don't need to live for just you!" London grabs Faelian's hands with sudden optimism and smiles brightly. "You're right, I'm sure there is a lot to live for and look forward to... Maybe I was looking at this all wrong. If I drink the potion, I could make sure all of my friends live long and happy lives... and if I take the potion I could live with you and make sure you never have to be lonely... I could meet new people and see new things... and if someone bad like Nonis ever shows up again, I could stop her and help keep the world safe! See?!"

Before Faelian can say anything, London looks downward and whispers with his face out of sight. "Maybe that'd mean having to witness my friends and family dying... but you already have to see that with no option not to... It'd be easier to do if you weren't alone....." His hands carefully grip Faelian's just a little more tightly as he speaks.

Faelian

Faelian looks confused as he listens to London and by the time London's finished he seems a little overwhelmed. Happy but with tears threatening to fall. He bites his lip and his expression looks a little sorrowful as well."A-Are you sure? You won't regret it? It'll be difficult to see all our friends pass away.. but ..it would be easier with someone by my side.." "I swear i'll get stronger London and you won't have to worry about anything. You won't have to be scared of living so long. I'll always protect you and be there for you when you need me." He moves one of his hands away from London's to wipe his face clean and gives London a determined look.

London

"Huh? Why are you talking about protecting me? I'm the one who was charged with helping you out remember?" London flicks Faelian's forehead with a finger. "I'm sure it will be fine... and if it means I'll be able to see your hair grow long again, that's all the more reason to drink it, isn't it?" London smiles softly and closes his eyes.

Faelian

He sniffles and smiles brightly while rubbing his forehead. "I just want to make you feel safe. I don't want you to feel scared. And I want you to make sure that you're okay with this." He smiles at hearing that. "Yeah. You can even see me grow it out even longer than before." He heads over to his bag and returns with the potion in hand, grapsing it tightly. "If a potion like this exist then it might be possible something of the opposite exists too. If time ever becomes too much of a burden for you then we can search for a way to reverse it together, okay?" He offers it to the other.

London

London takes the bottle in his hands and looks at Faelian carefully. "Um, so you're really okay with all of that stuff earlier?.. You don't mind if we break up for a bit, so I can think stuff over?..."

Faelian

"Can we still be close? Like closer-than-friends? Close enough that we can still say I love you.. and cuddle.. and more intimate stuff? If you live that long then we can date on and off as much as we want. And I won't have to worry as much about you falling in love with someone else and growing old before deciding to come back to me."

London

Hearing that caught him off guard. London's eyes widened. "Y-yeah, of course! I mean, I'm still unsure of a lot of things... If you're okay with an open relationship, I might want to go with that in the end, but it does feel kind of selfish..."

Faelian

"Well.. asking you to take this potion is selfish too. I think open relationships might work out after all." He smiles softly. "I'll be the person who made you young forever. The person you can always return to."

London

"Um.." London blushes. That sounded a little scary, but he didn't want to admit that. It was probably true anyway. "Well, for now I'm going to think on things.. but we can still kiss and stuff, yeah.. Then without further ado...." London opens the bottle and drinks the very aged yet still sweet liquid.

Faelian

"Alright." Faelian watched London as he drank the potion. He couldn't help but feel a little nervous. Hopefully London wouldn't regret it later. He offered his hand out to take the empty potion bottle once London had drank it.

London

"Ah, that tasted weird..." He took a deep breath and handed Faelian the bottle. Well, that was done.... "I'm kind of glad I didn't taste the other potion now..." London seemed to mumble to himself.

Faelian

"What did it taste like?" He looks at empty bottle for a moment before sticking his tongue against it. There was a slight taste on it but barely. He hummed and put it back into his bag. "You feel any different? You okay?" He checks London.

London

London watched wondering if he should warn Faelian against that. But he's an elf, he has nothing to fear... "I guess a bit like flowers... just like the name says... I'm alright." He was almost ready to say what he put in that other potion, but it would probably be better for both of them if he didn't. "It's been a really long day...." London sighs once more and lies down. Again.

Faelian

"Yeah. I'm sorry for keeping you up so late. I just wanted to do it but.. things got a little serious." He smiles shyly and puts his bag away. Once that's done he crawls into the bed with London and snuggles against him. He presses his face into London's shoulder and hugs him tightly. Eventually he pulls his face back some and speaks. "Thanks.. I know that was a big decision. Goodnight. I love you, London."

London

"It's fine... I love you, too." He gets his head comfortable on the pillow and closes his eyes.

Faelian

Faelian gets comfortable as well and closes his eyes. It takes him a little longer than normal to fall asleep.

--------------------------------------------------------

The next morning...

London

Upon hearing the noises of the late morning outside, London nuzzled his head towards Faelian in a weak attempt to wake up. It wasn't very effective. He figured he'd just lie there and enjoy that tired lazy feeling of the day.

Faelian

Faelian chuckled a little at the lazy nuzzle and started combing his fingers through London's hair. He hummed softly while he did so.

London

He woke up enough to at least stretch his arms out to hug Faelian. "...Morning."

Faelian

He hugged London back and snuggled against him. "Good morning."

London

"How much of last night did I dream?" He shows no chance of opening his eyes soon.

Faelian

Faelian sweats and looks at London with shock and worry. "H-Huh? Please tell me you didn't take that potion while delirious..."

London

"So I did drink it, huh?..." He cuddles his face closer to Faelian's body in order to hide his embarrassment more than anything.

Faelian

"Y-Yeah.." He holds London tighter and rubs his back to comfort him. "Do you regret it?"

London

"I don't think so..." He pulls his head back to breathe, and rubs the sleep from his eyes. "It will just take some getting used to, that's all."

Faelian

"I hope you won't." He hugs London tightly and then pulls back slightly. "Yeah.. it probably will. I guess it really won't be noticeable until you start getting a little older." He moves his hand to touch London's hair. "When other people your age start getting grey hair you won't."

London

"H-huh?.." London winced lightly as the words left Faelian's mouth.

Faelian

He frowns. "A-Are you okay? Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

London

"No..it's fine..." London laughs a bit and moves to sit up. "I already made the choice. No take backs now. It's better to be aware of what to expect..."

Faelian

Faelian sits up as well and playfull nudges London in the side softly. "I'll be eternally greatful. ..And like you said last night.. you'll be able to help a lot of people."

London

"Y-yeah!" London raises a clenched fist in the air and says this a little too enthusiastically. "Anyway, I'm going to go get some breakfast and maybe take a short walk outside. I need to think about things. I'll be fine, though, so don't worry about me." He smiles.

Faelian

London was obviously nervous again. He had seemed so sure before taking it the night before. He hoped that everything would turn out alright. "Okay, London. Have a nice walk. I think i'll get dressed and head to the dining hall to get something to eat in a little bit."

London

"I'll see you later!" Even with new clothes, he was the same London and didn't think he would need to do much to head straight out the door.

Faelian

"See you later." Faelian smiled and sighed softly as he watched London head towards the door. He stood up and started getting his own clothes out of his bag with the intent to get ready once London was gone.

[bloodieash]

Of Magic and the Mafia part 3

               So that’s Haru and Jaiden with their rings, but no real action yet. Well sit tight we’ll get there, but I mean nothing really happens until the team is all together, we’re getting closer though, I assure you. So, let’s move along with Hana.

               Hana was not having a good day. Clases had been cancelled and her best friend had gone off to hang out with Tsuna. Hana would probably have tagged along if it hadn’t been for the two children Tsuna was babysitting. Children gave Hana hives.

               Hana sighed and crossed her arms. Ever since the strange baby in a suit had shown up it had felt like Kyoko had been pushing Hana to the side in favor of Tsuna and those kids. Hana didn’t like it, then again, she wasn’t exactly fond of Tsuna. There’d always been something off about him and ever since the baby had arrived it had only gotten more and more obvious.

               Hana passed under a tree as she walked back to her house. Something fell out of the tree and hit her one the head. Hana scowled. Great, now even mother nature seemed to hate her. Hana looked down to see what had hit her. It was a silver ring. Hana picked it up with a scowl, so it hadn’t been mother nature, just an idiot who stuck a ring in a tree. Who would do that?

               The ring looked like a man’s ring with the image of a Kamitachi curled around a violet jewel. Hana twisted the ring around in the light looking for an engraving. If she could find a name maybe she could return it. There was no engraving along the band, but there looked like there was something in the jewel. Hana tiled the ring to get a better look. Triniset.

               A spark went off in Hana’s mind, creating a raging inferno of violet fire. It attempted to burn away Hana’s consciousness, but she fought back. She had a feeling if she let the fire control her bad things would happen. Unfortunately, she wasn’t strong enough, the fire won, it drove Hana back to the darkest corners of her mind and took over. The fire swept through her mind, going through her experiences and knowledge until everything clicked into place. This was all because of Tsuna. He must have been part of the Triniset.

               Possessed Hana slipped the ring on her finger to finish the transformation. Hana’s school uniform exploded in fire being replaced by a high neck backless tunic that fell to her thighs with detached bell sleeves that started at her elbows and dropped over her hands only leaving the tips of her claw like violet nails showing, black leggings, and knee-high violet lace up boots with tall stiletto heels. Hana’s long dark hair turned a light purple and small animal ears popped up on the top of her head.

               Possessed Hana closed her eyes, which were now completely black without even the whites showing, and willed herself to wherever Tsuna was. She was going to destroy him. A furious violet wind whirled around Hana and when it stopped she opened her eyes. She was down the street from Tsuna, his back to her.

               Possessed Hana moved forwards, claws at the ready, only to be stopped by an annoying ball of indigo light. Possessed Hana swiped at the light, but it just buzzed around her head. It took Possessed Hana a moment to realize, but damn it, the light was only distracting her from her goal. Possessed Hana moved forward, ignoring the light and going after Tsuna. He wasn’t there anymore.

               “Who are you?” Tsuna asked as he appeared behind possessed Hana. Possessed Hana whirled around. Tsuna was different now, an orange flame was alight on his forehead and he wore metal looking gloves. That’s right folks, hyper dying will mode. Hana finding her ring happened after the whole Mukuro incident but before Tsuna and his guardians got their half of the Vongola rings for the ring battles, in case anyone was wondering about the timeline.

               “Your destroyer.” Possessed Hana declared as she lunged for Tsuna. She couldn’t reach him, she was frozen, caught in a ray of light coming from a large black lantern lit by an indigo flame, the light from earlier. What the hell? Even Tsuna seemed confused.

               “Get her out of here.” A voice shouted as a girl who could not pull off the orange she was wearing especially with her green hair appeared in possessed Hana’s line of sight.

               Possessed Hana was shrunk and pulled into the lantern before being whisked away, though before Tsuna was completely out of sight possessed Hana saw him turn to stone and drop to the ground. Unfortunately, he didn’t shatter. Possessed Hana growled under her breath.  

               The transportation ended on the roof of Midori Junior high school and the annoying light returned, only to morph into another girl.

               “What the hell were you doing?” The new girl demanded.

               “He’s part of the Triniset.” Possessed Hana howled.

               “Even if he is, he’s powerless. We have to wait for the Triniset to physically be with him before we can take it. Once we deliver it and wash our hands of them completely then you can destroy him.” The orange girl announced.

               “How can I destroy him when you turned him to stone?” Possessed Hana demanded.

               “The stoning is only temporary. It will wear off as soon as we lose our hold on these vessels.” The girl in orange explained. As if her words triggered it their transformation ended, leaving Hana, Haru, and Jaiden on the roof of Midori middle school confused and disoriented.

               “What the hell just happened?” Hana demanded, glaring at Jaiden. Hana knew Jaiden from Jaiden’s summer visits to Namimori, remember those friends I mentioned earlier in Jaiden’s introduction? Yep, they were Hana and Kyoko.

               Jaiden shrugged. “We think it’s the rings. We can’t take them off and the black outs began when we put them on and they seem to be triggered each time a new ring is put on.” Jaiden explained.

               So, see, they’re starting to figure it out. They don’t have all the pieces yet, but, how could they? Of the three of that have rings so far none of them have any background knowledge on the KHR mafia, rings, or flames, still, it’s starting to get interesting, now isn’t it?

[cabinetmountainamericangirl-blog]

He wanted to “go with flow.” If only he knew what awaited downstream.

I wanted to plan and negotiate what we would do, talk about sexual health and history, limits, and boundaries. I wanted to say yes to things, and no to other things. I wanted to be informed and to inform. He wanted to go with the flow. If only he knew what awaited downstream.

When life gets real, it’s like being punched in the face. Now, recently I’ve considered asking someone to hit me, while in bed doing sexy things, because I am turned on and made more comfortably, sexually, when pain is involved at the hand of someone I trust and have a strong connection with. So is this about him? Is it about that? It kind of is. It’s also just kind of about life and how it ebbs and flows in clarity and intensity. Not like the ebb and flow of the ocean. More like the complex ebb and flow of biochemistry and hormones in a human body. So many cycles competing, accelerating, and inhibiting each other. 

I have HSV1--oral herpes. Where did it come from? Who knows. I don’t. I don’t even think I’ve ever had a breakout. Nothing I’ve ever had on my body looks the way those internet images look. Did I screw up by finally allowing myself to have a wonderful sexual partner after having sexy post-date goodnight kisses? 

It has been a year since I’ve had sex. The last person I dated, technically raped me, though I could have said no, and he would have stopped (though I did say no, and he did it anyway--should I say no twice? What really would have happened if I said no again? I don’t know for sure. That’s not really the point here). Before that guy, I didn’t have sex or kiss anyone since my son’s dad. That was 5 years ago. I’m not a slut. I have thought myself a sex-addict. When I have sex, I want more sex, but normal sex creates a spiral of shame and disgust, which never sat well with me so celibacy seemed more manageable. 

One year ago, I decided to enter sex-positive, polyamorous, kinky culture. One of the absolute best decisions I’ve ever made in my life! I understand that I had a lot of shame and disgust because of the stigmas and conditioning surrounding gender, sex, and socially acceptable expectations of relationships. Besides those things, well more in addition to, there was this power aspect that needed to be ironed out, and this sexual freedom, consent and negotiation aspect that needed to be liberated, and oh yeah, I am a masochist and a sadist and that can make sex and intimate bonding really fun! Does sex-education teach us that? No. I stumbled on it in the wake of a major life transition and a lifetime of feeling dysphoric being labeled just a girl. 

Regardless of how much sex I’ve had in my life, what kind, or to what extent of consent, none of this gives me the right to put someone else in the position of possibly contracting a virus he may not already have been exposed to in his forty-seven years on this planet, let alone his wife, my proxy, and any future partners he wishes to fluid bond with. I should have dug deeper into my testing to really understand my statuses, what they meant, and demanded him and I am anyone else relevant, discuss these things in a structured way prior to, well prior to kissing right? 

So when someone asks me for my number and they ask me on a date, at what point should I tell them I am positive for asymptomatic HSV1? Do I tell them before I’ve said yes to the date so they can decide whether they want to rescind the offer? Do I tell them at dinner so they decide whether they want to go in for an evening kiss or not? Or do I wait until sex is a potential reality? Oral herpes is oral. It, by definition, it meaning the virus prefers the mouth, is happy in the mouth, and oh boy, can be contracted through kissing, and like the CDC, the WHO, and all the other government medical science sites say, can be passed along without sign of symptoms. 

I wonder why people who have herpes, and who practice fluid bonding only during asymptomatic times, have partners who never have contracted the virus? Lucky? Anomalies? Or does the medical industry in the dominant world really like to shame sexuality and people who contract its associated disorders and infections? Could the information be totally true the way they lay it out? Sure. Could there be more studies and more statistics, about the actual chance of contracting these things asymptomatically? Yes, I think so. 

There is a stigma that says I cannot and should not kiss or have unprotected sex of any kind, oral or otherwise, with someone who isn’t positive with the virus, forever and for the rest of my life, unless the person has decided they accept that they may get it and they are okay with it. It makes sense. I wonder if it is the whole truth though? How risky is it? I couldn’t find the answer when I searched. 

I did read the 98% of 50 people studied had DNA for HSV1, which was 49 of the 50 people (for you English majors out there), and of those 98% only 73% came back with a positive blood test for the virus. This is a real study, I haven’t fact checked it, but it was featured in Science Daily, and the research was done at a research institution with people between the ages of 12 and 70, weighted in favor of women and African Americans. That’s only 50 people. How representative is it? I don’t know. Do I want to cling to it? Yes I do. Why? Because that means, that man who may think he doesn’t already have HSV1, probably has it, and that means he has no need to be afraid of me and what I might bring into his life through sexing and dating me. 

I also read a thing written by Midori, kink and fetish celebrity and Berkeley graduate with a masters in psychology. She said if a person doesn’t want to date another person because they have herpes, that means that person wasn’t interested in the whole person. My person says he prefers to be friends, and that is valuable enough. Is it? Is friendship better than exploring great sexual, kinky, and emotional chemistry with someone? I’m not convinced, and it doesn’t sound like Midori was either, though she strongly advocated for barriers. Does that mean she doesn’t kiss? If that were an option, why isn’t barrier-laden sex something he immediately jumped to? Why didn’t he think of it to begin with? I know I could ask why I didn’t, as well. I could argue that he is a leader in sex-positive, kinky, and body-safe practices, and that he is older and more experienced than I am. Those would all be true, and may be valid reasons for pinning the risk on him, but I am a grown woman and I knew the risks and was willing to put myself in the line of fire for whatever he might give me (except a child! That sex was capped, though later found out he has had a vasectomy anyway). For me, I'd never really considered what it might actually be like to live with an STD. I was mostly considering what it might be like to not take full advantage of the opportunity for sexual, emotional, and psychological healing being with him allowed. It did that for me. I needed it. I didn’t know I was putting him at risk as he was healing me. 

I don’t believe I won’t ever have sex again. I don’t believe I will never fluid bond with someone again. I believe I can have a very succinct dating pool, and dating opportunities, which will have to begin with disclosure, and we will have to find romance in giving the middle finger to “going with the flow,” because it just might not be sexy anymore, sorry to say.