#eating candied ginger way up in the mountains is such a memory for me

[borrelia]

now for the most part im very "i knooow above the cloud layer is extremely high up, don't think to hard about it eehhhhhh" abt this comic BUT. i do like this comment bc it got me thinking knuckles giving his visiting friends ginger tea when they visit :) or sonic raiding his candied ginger stash whenever he shows up unannounced.

[notasliceoflife]

Muse Favorites

Food

Favorite fast food restaurant? Marrybrown Favorite ice cream flavor? Lemon custard ice cream Favorite chocolate candy? Perky Nana Cadbury Favorite fruity candy? Koppers Swiss Petite Fruits Candy Favorite flavor Starburst? Royal Berry Punch Flavored Favorite dish at Olive Garden? Cheese Sticks Favorite kind of sushi? Sea Roll Favorite Asian dish? Raita and Pasanda Paneer Favorite Italian dish? Panigaccio and Biscuit Tortoni Favorite food of all time? French Onion Soup Favorite way to cook a steak? Wine soaked/Fried Favorite pasta dish? Rosto Favorite cookie? Biscotti Favorite fast food French fries? Burger Baron Favorite cereal? Frosted Flakes Chocolate  Favorite breakfast food? Bagel and cream Cheese  Favorite pizza toppings? Cheese and Roast Cauliflower Favorite fruit? Grape Fruit Favorite vegetable? Sweet Potato Favorite dessert? Key lime pie Favorite comfort food? Tacos Favorite way to eat bacon?  Chewy Favorite thing at a buffet? Seafood Favorite pumpkin-flavored treat?  Werthers Original Favorite dish at Thanksgiving? Pecan pie Favorite cake? Three chocolates cake  Favorite ice cream sundae toppings? Shredded coconut Favorite thing to cook? Spicy Pasta Salad with Smoked Gouda, Tomatoes, and Basil Favorite soda? Ginger Ale Favorite alcoholic drink? Tonto Favorite drink at Starbucks? Honey Citrus Mint Tea  Favorite flavor coffee? Cocoa Mocha Twist 

Television and Movies

Favorite 80’s movie? The Dead Zone Favorite Harry Potter movie? Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Favorite Hobbit from the Lord of the Rings? Frodo Baggins Favorite Simpson’s character? Sideshow Bob Favorite cartoon cat? Grimmjow! Claude Cat Favorite TV sitcom? The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Favorite cartoon? Crayon Shin-chan/ Sonic Underground Favorite scary movie? Lake Placid Favorite funny movie? For Heaven's Sake Favorite celebrity? Johnny Depp Favorite South Park character? Tweek Tweak Favorite chick flick? Moulin Rouge! Favorite Pixar movie? Brave Favorite Family Guy character? Chris Griffin Favorite Leonardo Dicaprio movie? What's Eating Gilbert Grape Favorite actress over 50? Sharon Stone Favorite Marvel movie? Captain America: Civil War Favorite TV show? Dexter  Favorite cancelled TV series? Black Sails Favorite show on the Discovery Channel? Time Warp Favorite classic movie? Nosferatu

Music Favorite Beatles song? Matchbox Favorite string instrument? Kulcapi Karo Favorite instrument? E♭ clarinet Favorite band or music artist? Janis Joplin Favorite music genre? Acid Breaks Favorite style of dance? Samba  Favorite boy band? Shinee  Favorite disco song? Touch Me Baby - Ultimate Favorite 80’s song? Eddie Money- Take me home tonight Favorite cover song? Smells Like Teen Spirit – Paul Anka (Nirvana) Favorite one-hit wonder? Wheatus – Teenage Dirtbag Favorite song you’re embarrassed to like? A Thousand Years - Christina Perri Favorite foreign band/artist? Christian Bautista

Travel and Recreation

Favorite state you’ve visited? Osaka(Kansai region)/Georgia Favorite country you want to visit? Sweden Favorite thing about America? Vast openness with nothing around for miles. Favorite kind of vacation? To the middle of no where, alone. Favorite car? Lobini Favorite road to drive on? The Sidewalk. Favorite way to travel? Garganta Favorite beach? Bleach. Favorite place to go with family? Favorite vacation you’ve taken? Favorite fictional place you’d want to visit? Favorite ride at a carnival? Troika Favorite thing to do at the beach? Bring some board games Favorite rollercoaster? Top Thrill Dragster Favorite theme park? Family Kingdom Amusement Park, Myrtle Beach Favorite thing about traveling?

Nature and Animals

Favorite dinosaur? Argentinosaurus  Favorite breed of dog? Icelandic Sheepdog Favorite season? Fall/Autumn Favorite flower? Bird of Paradise flower Favorite animal at the zoo? Porpoise Favorite type of bear? Polar Bear Favorite natural disaster? Sinkholes Favorite reptile? Murray River Turtle Favorite animal? Addax Favorite bird? Anseriformes Favorite thing in the sky? The Moon/The pitch black sky at night Favorite thing about a rainy day? The way the air smells wet dirt Favorite sea creature? Sea Urchin Favorite color rose? Burgundy Favorite small mammal? Arizona Gray Squirrel Favorite big cat? Mountain Lion Favorite thing about spring? Greek Mythology: Return of Persephone. Favorite wild animal you’d like as a pet? Bat

Sports

Favorite sport? Judo Favorite extreme sport you’re too scared to do? Favorite Olympic sport? Favorite football team? Favorite basketball team? Favorite hockey team? Favorite baseball team? Favorite sport to play? Favorite winter sport? Favorite sport you wish you were a pro at? Favorite professional athlete? Favorite sport to watch in person?

Childhood

Favorite nursery rhyme? Three Wise Men of Gotham Favorite childhood memory? Favorite board game? Chess Favorite children’s show? Favorite toy as a child? Favorite teacher? Favorite thing about school? Favorite age? Favorite Christmas present? Favorite Dr. Seuss book? Oh Say Can You Say? Favorite Halloween costume you’ve worn? Favorite lunchbox snack? Favorite Winnie the Pooh character? Owl Favorite thing to do during recess? Favorite superhero? Toyman (Hiro Okamura) Favorite video game? The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons Favorite color Power Ranger? Black Ranger Favorite fairy tale? Murder Will Out  Favorite game to play outside?

Fashion and Beauty

Favorite department store? Favorite place to shop? Favorite store in the mall? Favorite perfume/cologne? Favorite hair color? Favorite makeup you can’t live without? Favorite shoes? Favorite occasion to dress up for? Favorite hairstyle? Favorite outfit you have? Favorite soap scent? Favorite article of clothing? Favorite place for a piercing? Favorite piece of jewelry? Favorite thing to wear to bed? Favorite luxury brand?

Random

Favorite brand of toilet paper? Favorite candle scent? Favorite extracurricular activity? Favorite day of the week? Favorite holiday? Favorite website? Favorite way to communicate? Favorite Youtube video? Favorite kind of house? Favorite car color? Favorite baby boy name? Favorite baby girl name? Favorite thing to do when you’re sick? Favorite person you’ve never met? Favorite question you’ve answered so far? Favorite thing you’ve done in the last 24 hours? Favorite place to meet up with friends? Favorite hobby? Favorite way to cheer you up? Favorite thing to look forward to? Favorite kind of gift to receive? Favorite crafty thing to make? Favorite way to relax?

[greenofallshades]

I saved this for when I had the time because I liked the questions, and because it was sent by a friend, @rapid-apathy.  So I had a long rainy weekend and was able to do it.  I’ve been holding onto it forever.  You’re supposed to answer the questions you like, delete the ones you don’t, and add your own to make 100.  I didn’t bullet mine but this is close to 100 either way, I guess.

So here’s a little tell-all, if anyone wants to know.  I’m tagging some unsuspecting souls so you guys can shake your fists at me and say well, fuck, it’s Monday, so naturally.   (Seriously, no one feel obligated to do it..pretending you never got tagged is perfectly fine, lol). 

@simcoedefensesquad, @abewoodhullturncoat, @cupric-solution, @enouementonism, @thesnakeinthegarden, @zaggyswag,  @080939, @teagrounebulous, @dolfinsatdawn, @west-coast-happiness

The meaning behind my url:  greenofallshades, Green is my favorite color and adding the last part made it sound vaguely...interesting, or something.

A picture of me: will post one soon.

How many tattoos i have and what they are:  none

Last time i cried and why: During the TURN finale, lol, but does that count?  Before that, a fight with my husband.

Favorite band:  Impossible to pick one, just cannot.  Also I’m one of those people who when you ask me to pick my favorite something I freeze and can think of nothing.

Biggest turn offs:  Pretentiousness, number one by far.  Also people who drop hints instead of asking for something, game-playing instead of being direct, and braggarts.

Top 5 (insert subject): Top five cookies!  Girl Scout Thin Mint, soft baked chocolate chip, M&M cookies, Nutter Butters, and Oreos.  

Tattoos i want: *shrug* none

Biggest turn ons: strong arms, hairy chest

 Age: old lady by Tumblr kid standards, I guess

Ideas of a perfect date: Sitting in front of a fire in an empty tavern with a 6'3" ginger Queen's Ranger, drinking to the point that I'm not drunk but feel good, and he gets loose and starts telling me stuff no one else knows, then getting on his horse with him (me in front, being held securely by him) and riding out to a secluded cabin in the woods only he knows about, where we spend the night having wild sex and getting as loud as we want.

Life goal: Not to have any huge regrets on my deathbed when it comes to people in my life.

Piercings i want: none

Relationship status: married

Favorite movie: Can't pick one but I love Bram Stoker's Dracula, Pulp Fiction, Gladiator, Goodfellas, Thirty Days of Night.  Not into chick flicks very much.  Also a couple of old movies---Rebecca (a total mind fuck) and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, which I STRONGLY rec.  It's a middle-aged married couple who have company over and spend the night drinking and cursing and tearing each other apart with complete viciousness. 

 A fact about my life:  I'm boring but okay with it

Phobia:  Any and all bugs, especially flying ones.  I wish I could make all of them extinct, including butterflies.

.Height: 5'5"

Are you a virgin?   A what?  

What is your shoe size?  8

What’s your sexual orientation?  straight

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?   Wine sometimes....red.  Used to like white, can’t stand it now, and beer makes my throat close up

Someone you miss: My parents...they had me very late in life and they're gone now.

What’s one thing you regret?  Not being a better daughter

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive:  Samuel Roukin, are you shocked?

Favorite ice cream?  french vanilla

One insecurity: Body image.  I had an eating disorder when I was a teenager and body issues will stay with me until I die.

What my last text message says:  From me---I might answer late because we’re doing late dinner.  To me---How does she afford it

Have you ever taken a picture naked? Taken one, no---taken one OF somebody, yes

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?  No

Have you ever slept naked?   Yes

Have you ever stole money from a friend?  No

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?  Yes

Have you ever been in a fist fight?  No

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?  Yeah, I think everybody has

Have you ever been arrested?  No

Have you ever made out with a stranger?  Yes 

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?  Yes

Have you ever been lonely?  Yes

Have you ever been to a club?  Clubbing and dancing, so much fun

 Have you ever felt an earthquake?  Yes, in Virginia it's a rare thing and I thought Jesus was coming back.

Have you ever touched a snake?  I've held snakes...they're adorable.

Have you ever ran a red light?  Yes, and it was stupid as hell because my husband witnessed a horrible accident when someone ran a red.  A man was ejected out of his car into the air came down, and hit the pavement, dead.  DON'T RUN RED LIGHTS

Have you ever been in a car accident?   Yes

 Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?  Pretty sure I have

Have you ever sang karaoke?  No and never will for the mercy of the world

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?   Oh yeah...for example today I told myself I wouldn't touch the box of Cheezits in the pantry.

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?  No, but I've laughed so hard I retched

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?   Yes

Have you ever dream that you married someone?   Yes and I woke up and it was true.

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?  No, but points for a question that made me shudder.

Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked?  *side eye glance*

Have you ever brushed your teeth?   *second side eye glance*  I hope to hell

Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?  Yes....I cannot watch Thirty Days of Night alone, even it's daytime

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?  No, and it's a good thing, because you don't push a woman who has naturally curly hair into the water or your ass is going to have consequences.

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?  Yes

Have you ever broken a bone?  Just a toe

Have you ever been easily amused?  Lol, every damn day...wouldn't have it any other way.

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?  Many times

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?  No

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?   Yes, embarrassing

Have you ever give us one thing about you that no one knows   I never have and I am not going to have creeps following this blog, lol.

What was your last dream?   I dreamed Samuel Roukin played a biker in black leather.  Are you seeing the trend here?

Would you be up for interplanetary travel if it was a thing?  Hard pass...I will stay safe on my couch with my fleece throw.

If you could travel back in time, where would you go?  Omg.  Again, can’t pick but I’m leaving this question up because it’s a good one.  

Do you prefer tech or real books for reading?   I like both, but prefer books

Do you dread doctor visits or do they not bother you?   They make me anxious

Favorite fashion decade of the twentieth century?  1940s

Are you wearing nail polish and if so, what color?   Manicure, Essie Watermelon; pedicure, OPI I Vant To Bite Your Neck

 Are you into working out or no?  I've always worked out, but I'm so burned out now

Do you have a temper?   Yes

Do you have one item you treat yosef with, and if so, what is it?   Josie Maran whipped argan oil

Do you eat meat?  Yes I am a happy carnivore

If yes, how do you like it cooked?  Well done and y'all can drag me for that all you want

Ever had a boss or a teacher you absolutely hated?  Oh yeah....a bitch boss who loved making lives miserable.  She snatched my engagement ring and hid it for a day so I would think I'd lost it, then gave it back at the end of the day and laughed. I was frantic.  I wish I could have a do-over with that bitch.

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?  Coffee

Do you wear makeup?  Yes

If you wear perfume, what's your scent type/favorite fragrance?  I like fresh/clean scents...love Versace VersenseScented 

Do you have a girl crush?  Yes

Candles, wax melts, or incense?  Wax melts....I have a shameful amount of those bitches.  Walmart, $2, too cheap to pass up.

Favorite season of the year?  Fall, fall, fall, then winter

Fanfic---do you prefer smut or fluff?   Smut, but well-written fluff about the right character (GUESS WHO) is good too

Do you like taking selfies?  Why or why not?   I hate it.  Old body image issues, not photogenic, etc.

Do you want children?   We can't, but we'll be okay.

Do you prefer lots of friends or just a few good friends?  Just a few, not interested in crowds of pseudo-friends

Introvert or extrovert, or mixture of both?  Mixture...can and do initiate conversation with strangers but I'm an only child and I need solitude to be sane

Ocean/beach or mountains?  Ocean, if it's cold, cloudy, and the water is wild and gray.  Otherwise mountains.

Morning person or night person?  Morning...first cup of coffee makes me annoyingly wired.

Do you initiate conversations with strangers?  Yes

Milk or dark chocolate?  Dark

What do you post on your blog?   Mostly Simcoe stuff, other TURN material, with some Walking Dead, Vikings, and The Strain.  Occasionally fashion, quotes, etc.

Is it hard for you to apologize when you're in the wrong?   If I know I've done wrong or hurt someone I have no problem apologizing.  I wouldn't want it to be otherwise.  And if I ever piss off any of y’all, let me know.

Love at first sight?  No.  Like/compatibility that turns into love, yes.

Best/funniest Halloween memory?  A couple, I guess.  The first was a party when my hairstylist friend did my make up and I went as a gypsy.  It was perfect, the hair, the armloads of cheap bangles and the huge earrings, a white peasant shirt with a flowing multicolored skirt, etc. 

 The second is one I was only told about, and it happened years ago, but I laugh when I think about it.   My father-in-law(to be) was home alone and a flood of kids kept coming to the door.  He gave out all the candy, then started throwing in cans of Beanie Weenies, and when they were gone, he started handing out money.  Finally he said to hell with it, turned off the light, and went to bed.

Did your first crush work out or was it unrequited?  Unrequited

Do you like old movies---and by old, I mean OLD old?  Yes, I've even watched a couple of silent movies.  The main thing about old movies that bugs is me the ever-present music.

Do you tan or burn?  Burn---don't care about tanning/lying in the sun with the heat beating down on me.  I like myself pale, anyway.

Do you think people deserve second chances?  Generally yes.  Hard to say no considering how many times I've fucked up.  But child molesters, that kind of thing--hell no.

What animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a cat?   A T-Rex

Do you have any weird food likes/dislikes?  I hate cheese, esp. melted. (Ikr?) Also white creamy foods...cream soups, mayonnaise, etc

.What's the funniest real person's name you've ever heard?   Andrew Lincoln is really Andrew Clutterbuck

.

[weekendsinmaine]

I love all the seasons equally. I mean that sincerely. They all have something that makes them special but sometimes it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the challenges they can bring. Maybe it’s the mosquitoes in the spring, the humidity of summer, or the endless cold and snow of winter. The best approach is to embrace both the joys and challenges of each season fully.

Now that we’re in the midst of winter here in Maine, here are six can’t miss activities that will ensure you get the most from the season. There is much to embrace this time of year.

Make Maple Syrup Taffy. A classic and incredibly simple activity that only takes a few minutes and rewards you with the most delicious candy. The basic premise is to boil maple syrup until it reaches the soft ball candy making stage and then pour it over snow. It can’t get much easier. While you can do this with just maple syrup and snow, I liked this recipe from the Wholefully Blog that includes butter and salt giving it a little more of a caramel taste.

** Tip ** I’m not willing to chance that the snow is sanitary given our animal filled household, so I put a Pyrex baking dish out at the beginning of a snow storm to collect some fresh, and definitely clean, snow for my maple taffy fun.

Build A Snowmen.  With one in college and one not far behind, my girls are no longer into building snowmen anymore but I have great memories of heading outside after those especially sticky snowstorms to create a frozen playmate. I also know that my snowmen building days are not behind me. There will be more snowmen in my future.

Go Sledding. I’ve always loved those videos where you see the family dog jump on top of a child riding a sled just as it is picking up speed. It shows how much fun sledding is that even the family pet wants to be part of the experience. We’ve done everything from sledding parks, where you can tube down gigantic hills, to makeshift paths in the back yard. The beauty of sledding is you can do it anywhere you have some snow and a hill.

Enjoy Ice Skating. I’ve blogged about this one before in my post Three Winter Hikes. Embrace the Cold.  Can you sense a pattern? I really love diving into the cold, not shying away from it. Living on a lake, we’re lucky in that given the right conditions we can skate in our backyard, but even if you don’t have that luxury, there are many options available in Maine. While there are some paid rinks, there are also some free options out there too. Maine Today compiled a great list of free outdoor skating venues in Southern Maine.

Skating Lake

Skating Lake

Skating Lake

Try Snowshoeing. When the snow gets deep, the best way to keep trudging through is by putting on some snowshoes. My grandfather was a champion snowshoer. I won’t be running up a mountain, or winning any races, but I have successfully completed a few hikes while wearing snowshoes.

My daughter and I snowshoed up Pisgah Hill Preserve during one of their full moon hikes last winter. There was the added incentive of a bonfire, hot chocolate and s’mores waiting for us at the top, but it was the joy of attempting my first night hike that motivated me. It was amazing and I will absolutely try it again in the future. Who doesn’t want to participate in an activity where they get to wear a head lamp?

Bake Winter Cookies. I love winter baking and all the flavors of the season. One of my favorite things to make, when the weather turns cold, is soft ginger cookies. I make some for the holidays, and continue with more batches throughout the winter. They are the perfect cookie to eat during cold winter evenings spent sitting in front of the fire.

There are so many great winter activities to try. This post highlights just a few of the ones that I enjoy each winter.

What winter activities do you like to do?

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My latest blog post... Six Family Friendly Winter Activities You Can't Miss #maine #winter I love all the seasons equally. I mean that sincerely. They all have something that makes them special but sometimes it's easy to get overwhelmed by the challenges they can bring.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #72

hey ya’ll, kinda conflicting moods in this survey; the earlier, dreary-sounding answers, please do not worry about them, as i took this over the course of longer than a week.  i was hospitalized this past week and am currently home safe again.  i just don’t feel like going back changing answers, lol.

are you currently distressed about anything?   yes, quite a bit.  i found the gem to the ring jason gave me, but i can't find the ring itself... i really wanna fix it and wear it.  i'm pretty damn upset about the situation, considering how much i cherish anything i've ever had from him. do you like your pop tarts toasted or cold?   i like them how they are in the package. do you like sitting in the front, back, or middle of the classroom?   i prefer the front, 'cuz i can see better and i feel more obligated to engage. what’s your least favorite flavor of candy?   orange do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before?   no. which is worse: living where there’s lots of tornadoes or lots of hurricanes?   tornadoes, definitely.  i live where there are plenty of hurricanes, and the last one we had that was truly devastating was floyd, and that occurred when i was a very young child.  tornadoes, meanwhile, are more immediately dangerous. have you ever seen a black rose?   no, but i would loooove to... do you like pie?   no, actually. if you died right now, how would you feel about your life?   it was a nightmare. do you have any morbid interests?   gore and guts.  bones.  death itself, kinda. if someone were to ask you if you were okay right now, are you?   no.  i'm currently waiting for the suicide hotline's online chat room to open up.  i've been a wreck all evening and google searched something i shouldn't have; google gave me the number to the hotline as well as the option to chat online.  i broke the fuck down.  i've been waiting for a spot to open for like ten minutes... have you ever thrown up from working out?   no, but i know i've been close. do you have any gay family members?   i think i have an uncle who is? would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn?   fuck yes i would be. (new day.) would you date someone who still lived with their parents?   uhhh, why wouldn't i...? would you have to sleep with someone before marrying them?   nope. would you enjoy a night of playing video games?   very much so. would you watch a porno with your partner?   absolutely not. would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends?   errr... i hate admitting this, but no.  it's suspicious. coffee or tea?   i have a strong dislike of both, really. when was the last time you climbed a tree?
   never; nc doesn't really have climbable trees, just pines. what clubs do/did you participate in at school?
   i was in the art club and shit, what was it called... it was for honors students... what is something you and your best friend say/do that seems strange to an outsider?
   act gay as hecke do you like to sleep near the wall, the middle, or the open side of the bed?
   open side. what’s the strangest rumor that has ever been spread about you?
   a rumor started in high school that jason and i had had a baby.  a rachel is who told the person who told me, soooo i'm not stupid.  i know which rachel started it. how involved were you in the drama of your high school?   not at all. do you like to cuddle while you are sleeping?   all night, no.  when jason and i were dating, i would usually begin sleeping cuddled with him, but would pull away during the night because i got hot. what are you favorite places to be touched?
   i'm guessing you mean sexually?  personally my breasts are very sensitive to touch. do you like lip biting?   again, in a sexual context?  sure. describe your first date.   jason took mom and me to see "ghost rider 2."  i personally thought it was very cute that he wanted mom to come, too. what really goes on in your head?   memories, poisoned with remorse.  i'm always looking back and missing how things used to be.  death and decay goes on in my head.  passions pass away, and the darkness that i try so hard to keep in the back of mind envelops its entirety more and more each time i weaken.  i don't mean to sound all dark or poetic, it's just... how i describe things.  i wish just one person would understand exactly what's happening up there. do other people’s opinions mean anything to you?   sometimes. have you ever just wanted to run away to see who would follow?   i have run away, and nearly got the police on my ass. have you ever had a hamster as a pet?   multiple times.  all were assholes. who do you really need in your life?   jason.  yet he's not here. way down in there’s any part of you sad at all?   all parts of me are sad. what’s your favorite type of insect?   i really love butterflies, moths, dragonflies, ladybugs... is there anything worrying you right now? if so, have you talked to anyone about it?   when am i not worried...  i'm so scared jason won't come back.  the last person i talked to about it was virginia, his mom.  i was suicidal last night and was very, very sincerely contemplating killing myself, and i wanted to talk to him, because i feel like he's the only one who can talk me out of it.  so i found their number and called their house past midnight.  i talked to virginia; jason had just gone to bed, and she didn't want to wake him up.  she's such a sweet woman...  she tried so hard to help, but it was all in vain. apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight?   cry, i'm sure. does anyone see you as a role model?   i'm certain that's a no. what is something that you’ve recently learned?   it's very likely i have bpd. what is your most expensive possession?   the laptop jason gave me... but it's broken right now. what’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had?   aside from mental illness, the worst physical illness was just a REALLY bad stomach virus.  i've never even had the flu. are you excited to pick out your wedding dress one day?
   if i ever get married... then yeah.  it's one of my fairytales. what kind of music do you tend to like?   heavy metal, some harder rock. do you have any mental disorders?   and they're going to kill me. do you believe everything happens for a reason?   fuck that. do you know anyone who married their high school sweetheart?   yes. do you live in the moment?   i live in the past. how many more minutes until you will next eat?   i should've eaten an hour ago.  but i'm too upset to be hungry. what do/did you normally get detentions for?   i only ever got detention for too many tardies. what do you currently hear?   "i don't love you" by my chemical romance, my typing, my sniffling, and my heart pounding in my head. do you ever worry about what the world will be like when you have kids?   i won't have kids anyway.  i don't even know why i'm spending my time doing this survey.  i'm procrastinating on looking for any sleeping pills in the house.  i'm done. do you like the band a skylit drive?   i like their cover of "love the way you lie" who’s someone you want to see right now?   jason.  he could stop this.  i know he could. have you ever been stung by anything?   no, i haven't. have you ever parked in a handicapped spot when you weren’t supposed to?   no, i fucking hate people who do that. are you paranoid?   only always. (next week) are you currently learning from anyone how to play any instruments?   nope. would you rather be able to teleport or freeze time? which one seems best?   hmmm.  teleport, i guess. do you like soda pop? if so, which is your favorite and least favorite?   i sadly do.  i loooove mountain dew, and i really hate pepsi. does it annoy you when surveys ask questions about controversial topics, or do you like arguing your point?   i like controversial questions, honestly.  i like making a point. are there any specific piercings you would never, ever get done?   the only piercing i would never get, even for a ludicrous amount of money, is around my private area.  nope. assuming you had sufficient funds, would you be capable of living alone, paying bills and looking after yourself properly?   honestly, no.  probably not. do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby?   meeee! were either of your parents baptized?   idk the last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit?   ha ha omg, a mosh pit at an alice cooper concert in north carolina... that'd be a sight to see. does your bathroom have a theme to it?   nope. when you are eating fast food, do you tend to get burgers or chicken?   burgers, almost always. are you self-conscious of your smile?   yes, because my eyes squint. what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?   writing.  sometimes drawing. what color do you really want to dye your hair?   GRAY.  mom won't let me. :( sunrise or sunset?   sunset is prettier, imo. what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?   i love some of the petnames colleen calls me, honestly.  it's just sweet. what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.   socks suck.  period.  i avoid them at all costs. have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?   how flexible you think i am, fam? do you play the wii?   very rarely. be honest, did fifty shades of grey arouse you in any way?   i didn't read/watch it, and i have no plans to. do have faith in yourself?   lmao did you parents know what gender you were before you were born?   i'm not sure, actually.  i do know, however, everyone first thought i was a boy; i always had my legs crossed in the ultrasound.  mom, however, "knew" i was a girl. does your mother still take care of you if you get ill?   not really.  like i guess if i called her to get me some ginger ale or something, she'd do it, but i kinda just take care of myself. is there a certain topic that you struggle to talk about, because it makes you feel uncomfortable?   not really. if you’re not in college, why?   because i mentally cannot handle the stress it causes. do you try to avoid burping in public, or are you open about it?  after all, it is a normal bodily function.   i'm very discreet about it normally, just because of social standards.  around family and very close friends, i don't give a shit. do you like regular peppermint candy canes, or do you prefer different flavored ones [fruits, bubble gum, cinnamon, etc.]?   i like the fruity flavors. what do you think is the dumbest / tackiest piercing?   i don't really know. have you ever requested a song on the radio?   no. would you ever dye your hair black?   i have before and i loved it. when did you last see the person you love/like? when will you next see them?   i saw him yesterday... and i probably never will again... is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind atm? do you think that person will be thinking about you too?   he always is, and i can absolutely guarantee he's not thinking about me. do you know the star sign of the last person you kissed?   he's an aquarius, like me. what’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done, and you got away with it?   got sexual on my parents' bed, i guess. who was the last person of the opposite sex to make you smile? are you attracted to that person?   jason, and yeah... do you currently have any medicine in your bag / purse / etc? if so, what kind?   no, i'm not allowed to.  i overdosed the other day. what do you like on your pasta / noodles? sauce, butter, grated cheese, etc.?   sauce, always. are you weary of displaying signs of affection for your significant other around adults? why or why not?   no, because love should be very openly celebrated. do you think teenagers can be in love?   absolutely.  i was and still am now from the same relationship as an adult. how fast does your mood change?   0-100 real quick, boo. at this moment in time if you HAD to have someone’s name tattooed on you who’s would it be?   uhhh... literally no one's.  i just wouldn't.  well uh, i guess if it was life or death, uhhh... probably jason's, honestly??  but realistically, i never would get anyone's?? what’s your all-time favorite COMEDY movie?   hm.  maybe "white chicks" or "rush hour 2" how old is your most recent ex?   he's 23. how many keys are on your key chain?   two how does your hair look right now?   it's all big and suuuuper curly!!!  chelsea did it. :D does your house have a white picket fence?   nope. do you wear bracelets?   no, never. when was the last time you had sex?   never. #regret do you have a wild side?   only j's seen it, honestly... heh. what is your favorite thing about going to your grandma’s house?   literally.  nothing. who did you last have an alcoholic drink with?   chelsea.  good day. where do you plan on living within the next few years?   probably the same 'ole north carolina. do you have an addiction?   debatably the internet, but i honestly consider it more of a dependence. if you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?   2016, absolutely. do you believe you should change who you are for the person you love?   to a degree, sure. when you’re home alone, do you still keep the door closed when you shower?   the bathroom door is open, my room door is closed. do you currently have a hickey?   i wish ha ha. now your cell phone, what color is it?   black. how many times have you gotten into a argument with the last person you kissed?   plenty of times. what color is your hair?   ruby red, with redder highlights and brown roots coming in. your parents are divorced/married/separated?   divorced have you ever let someone be your everything?   and i'm a broken person because of it. do you think that you’re good enough for the one you like?   no.  he made it clear i deserve to suffer for giving up. have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?   ahhh, yes. (: have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed?   no. do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth?   inside.  feel safer/cozier. have you ever had sex or something like it?   something like it, sure, but not actual sex. have you ever worn fishnets?   i don't think so... but maybe for dance? do you always wear your seat belt?   yep. have you ever liked someone much older than you?   not seriously. are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family?   oh god.  heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, asthma, cancer, depression, bipolarity, more shit i'm forgetting... do you have asthma?   no. are tongue piercings slutty?   ... no? last person to take off your pants, besides you?   jason. when you get colds, do you use nasal spray to help get your nose unstuffy?   yep. what’s your second favorite color?   pink, probably. how many times have you been so drunk you didn’t remember the night before?   never. what sexual kinks do you personally enjoy, if any?   i actually had to look up some kinks bc idk if some things are considered kinks or not?  evidently even something as common as spanking is, and i'm into that very mildly.  anr (i think that's be abbreviation, probably wrong...) is something that's like guaranteed to turn me on.  i also like feeling/acting sexually submissive in general, but i deeefinitely wouldn't consider it to the point of the dom/sub kink. ever faked an orgasm?   no. own some type of work out machine?   not anymore. ever wanted to be a vet?   i did as a child, yes. ever flashed someone you liked?   i maybe have to jason, while alone with him, but even then i'm not certain i ever have. ever had a job? if so, what and for how long?   first job i had for a month or two.  second, like, four days. do you have a favorite sexual position, even if you’re a virgin?   missionary is all i've ever tried and i'm fine with that. ever done oral? with how many people?   yes, one. what condom brand do you use?   i don't use them because i don't have sex.  on the one occasion jason bought condoms just to be safe in case we chose to, i'm not sure what brand he got... do you use flavored/scented/glow-in-the-dark/neon/ribbed condoms?   again, i don't use them, but also once more, on the one occasion jason bought some, they were just normal. what about facebook - do your grandparents use facebook?   my maternal grandmother does. do you have any text messages from your ex, or have you deleted them all?   no.  the phone i've had i got after the breakup, so. tell me 3 facts about the first person you had a relationship with.   i've "dated" three people, but i've definitely only had a romantic relationship with one, so i'm using him in this question.  he loves games of all kinds, he's a huge joker (particularly heath ledger's) fan, and he's studying computer engineering/he's in his last semester. think about your last ex. do you still find him/her attractive?   he's very handsome, yes. do you regret kissing the last person you kissed?   i never will. have you ever wanted to be a teacher?   nope. if someone were to ask you out right now, would you say yes?   the only person i'd say yes to would be jason. what was the last thing you took medication for?   my tremors. if someone offered you sex right now, how would you respond?   again, i'd only yes to jason. do you think you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?   i don't think i found the person, i know i did.  yet i can't. be honest, what do you want more than anything at this moment in time?   i just want to cuddle with jason. have you had any conversations recently that made you feel uncomfortable or upset?   i talked to jason, face-to-face, two days ago to assist me in gaining closure.  very long story short, i was quiiite upset after he left. what’s the farthest away from home you have ever been?   michigan the last person you had a thing with calls wanting to hang out. what do you do?   say "of course!" in probably the most excited voice ever. what is your favorite shade of blue?   hmm.  navy, i assume. what ozzy lyric describes you best?   a suRVEY QUESTION REGARDING MY FAVORITE ARTIST???  HELL YEAH!!  anyway, i've felt a resonance with "you don't have to leave the lights on; i'm so used to being blind" from "tomorrow" for many years. what was the most important decision you made that screwed up your life the most?   giving up on just that: life. what is love really about?   it's science, but also something inexplicable.  it's the perfect combination of your brain's "happy hormones," and only that one person can achieve that certain mixture.  granted, there are different kinds of love, and each one is unique. what metallica lyric most describes your life?   wHO FUCKING WROTE THIS, ANOTHER QUESTION W/ ANOTHER FAVORITE ARTIST???  I WANNA MARRY THE SURVEY MAKER PLS.  um anyway let's see, i could really list a few.  first, i wanna say i feel a VERY strong connection to "the unforgiven ii" as a whole; all the lyrics mean very much to me.  but if you want a particular lyric, these couple mean the world: "how can i be lost, if i've got nowhere to go? / and how can i blame you, when it's me i can't forgive?" from "the unforgiven iii"  omgggg i could keep going on ;-; ever been to ozzfest?   girl, I WISH. what's the most illegal thing you've done?   just downloading music.  wait actually, probably downloading an expensive program illegally. ever have a tornado in your town?   i don't think so. what percentile of your class were you in?   idk about numbers, but the very top.  i got an award for it.  idk what ever happened... can you name every place you've ever had sex?   i've never had sex, but i've gotten sexual on my bed, his bed, the floor, the couch, the chaise... what forms of birth control have you used?   abstinence is... pretty flawless. handcuffs or rope :D?   errr, i'm guessing you're addressing being tied up sexually?  i'm... kinda into the idea of being handcuffed to something, maybe. *shrugs* ever grown any plants before? what were they?   habaneros, zinnias, sunflowers... how many times did you intentionally start to commit suicide?   three.  i was going to slit my throat on two occasions, and on the last, i overdosed. what is your favorite cover song?   "hurt" by johnny cash.  "another brick in the wall" by korn is a close second. ever raise a child that wasn't your own for more than 3 months?   nope. strangest medical procedure ever performed on you?   idk, i guess just getting tubes put in my ears. if you ever got a tattoo, where would you get it?   i already have three and want loads more like... everywhere.  most specifically though, i think sternum tattoos are drop-dead gorgeous. could you ever go vegetarian?   no.  i enjoy meat too much. how do you fall asleep? [i.e, listening to music, reading, daydreaming…]   just thinking... have you ever been chased by bees?   omg no. what is your opinion on homosexuality?   it's a mutation, but that does not make it wrong. what is your biggest fear in life?   being alone in life.  not being able to function properly in the "real world" is a close second. when was the last time you kissed someone?   2015 are you sick quite often or hardly at all?   hardly at all.  proud of that 'ole immune system. has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality?   apparently. do you like chocolate or vanilla cake more?   chocolate, definitely. does it bother you to have blood drawn or not so much?   no, but i actually have noticed something: it began to bother me ever so slightly more after jason passed out from me getting my blood taken that one time.  i think it's because of how i look up to and see him in general, seeing him react to something like that, a part of my brain wants to believe "omg that has to be dangerous then."  but in general, i don't really have issue with getting my blood drawn. who would you say is your best friend at the moment?   colleen.  always. how long have you two been best friends?   over two years. do you sometimes think you aren’t as fortunate as others?   it's not something i dwell on, but i know i'm not. have you ever tried opening your eyes under water?   i have, and i'm bad at it. have you ever been admitted to the hospital?   only six times. what would you say is your favorite type of flower?   tiger lilies, i think. how old is your pet?   teddy is ten, cali isss... three, i think, bentley's not even a year, and lexi is around two, probs. do you listen to artists who consist more of guys, girls, or both?   i seem to prefer male artists. what’s your first tattoo?   a semicolon butterfly on my right wrist. what song do you listen to when you’re sad?   "perfectly flawed" by otep is common.  hence my tattoo. <3 is there a person in your life that can always make you smile?   not anymore. are you scared about the end of the world?   not really, because i don't think i'll be around to see it. will you ever get a tattoo?   i have three and want more.  my next tattoo will be an adaptation of "denialism" by deviantart's tatchit.  look it up, it is honestly a phenomenal work of art. when you get yelled at, do you yell back or let it go?   well first, i get triggered.  yelling triggers memories of my parents fighting so much.  odds are, i'll yell back, but it really depends. do you share a computer with your siblings?   nooo. do you have mood swings?   badly. do you have any bruises on you?   yes, from getting my blood drawn so much recently.  the iv left a good one. have you had sex today?   girl, i wish. has the last person you kissed ever made you cry?   plenty of times. be honest with yourself, are you proud of your actions?   some yes, some no.  it just.  varies.  for the most part, i guess so, like i can't deny i'm a fighter, but i just feel weak sometimes. if you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?   honestly, i would get a tiny heart on the side of my face if it wasn't for societal standards and the strong odds of unemployment for having a tat on my face. what is something you find romantic?   flowers, picnics, walks in the park, oh man, i could go on for HOURS.  you can make SO many things romantic. what makes you attracted to the person you like right now?   his personality. what, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?   rape is #1 for me.  just don't. would you rather live in a castle or a spaceship?   castle, hell yeah!! has someone ever made you a build-a-bear?   OMG NO I WOULD DIE THAT'D BE PRECIOUS what are your initials?   bmd, or bmcd if you want my catholic name. what is your definition of “having sex”?   penal-vaginal penetration. who was the last person you were “in a relationship with” on facebook (including anyone you may have put “in a relationship with” for a joke)?   jason. do you think a relationship with a 16-year-old girl and a 35-year-old man would work out? do you think age differences like that (when they’re under 18) should be legal?   they should absolutely not be legal.  just... no.  i don't support big age gaps like that. what do you think of open relationships? if your partner suggested it, what would you say?   HA.  no.  and if he suggested it, i'd leave his ass. would you ever date out of your race?   mhmm. have you ever had a reptile for a pet?   i've had one lizard, two snakes. what kinds of alcohol do you like?   only ever tried mike's hard lemonade and smirnoff, and both are fine. did you have a swing set when you were a kid?   yup. state you most want to visit?   utah.  fucking gorgeous. were you popular in high school?   definitely not. would you rather be blind or deaf?   blind, definitely.  i once asked jason this and he said blind, too, "because i have to be able to hear your voice." ;;;-;;; where do you want to live when you are old?   in the mountains, in the woods, in the chilly weather, pls. have you ever been in love?   absolutely.  with reckless abandon. have you ever caught a fish?   many many times. what was your most recent ex’s middle name?   alex. do you put anything weird on your scrambled eggs? (like syrup)   just hot sauce. what is your states minimum wage?   $7.25, save us.