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#edit: i have never watched sharkboy & lavagirl
purple duo incorrect quotes cuz i have nothing better to do in class
Subz: Where are you going? Vitalasy: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there
Subz: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor. Vitalasy: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.
Subz: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail Vitalasy: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call ClownPierce
Subz: You're right. Vitalasy: That's… That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
Vitalasy: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Subz: Okay. Vitalasy: And make out during the scary parts. Subz: Th- Subz: The scary parts. Subz: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Subz: God, give me patience. Vitalasy: I think you mean 'give me strength'. Subz: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
Vitalasy: How petty can you get? Subz: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
Subz: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve. Vitalasy: I think you mean cards. Subz, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not
Subz: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box. Vitalasy: But – that’s just a trash can. Subz: It sure is!
Subz: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works. Vitalasy, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
Vitalasy: Welcome, fellow idiots Subz: Hello, Vitalasy Vitalasy: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot Subz: You underestimate me
Subz: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Vitalasy: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Subz, desperately, as Vitalasy bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Vitalasy: Oh! B positive. Subz: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Subz: Kicks the door down looking panicked Vitalasy: What did you do? Subz: Nobody died. Vitalasy: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Subz: Vitalasy and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- Vitalasy: Sentences. Subz: Don't interrupt me.
Subz: holding a bottle Is this whiskey or perfume? Vitalasy: chugs entire bottle Vitalasy: It’s perfume.
Vitalasy: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside Subz: Subz: Vitalasy, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn… Vitalasy: Sips coffee from bowl
Subz: Can you please be serious for five minutes? Vitalasy: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
Subz: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. Vitalasy: It’s not a joke. Vitalasy: I’m a legit snack.
Subz: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Vitalasy's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out…
Subz: It’s dark in here Vitalasy: Don’t worry dude I got this Vitalasy: Stomps his feet Vitalasy: Skechers light up
Subz: Vitalasy… Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? Vitalasy: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Subz: Subz: I wrote sanitize, Vitalasy.
Vitalasy: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. Subz: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.
Subz: Stubs his toe FUCK! Vitalasy: Mind your language! Subz: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Vitalasy: Subz: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
Vitalasy: A theif. Subz: Thief? Vitalasy: Theif. Subz: I before E, except after C. Vitalasy: Thceif. Subz: No.
Subz: Vitalasy was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some. Vitalasy: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it. Subz: Vitalasy, you ate a chair.
44 notes · View notes
c-h-pictures · 2 years
Text
Incorrect quotes with the Assassin Team Friends
Chi: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?
-
Kajii: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...
-
Chi: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.
-
Kajii: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed. 
-
Kajii: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.
-
Kajii: Change is inedible.
Sakura: Don't you mean inevitable?
Kajii, spitting out coins: No, I did not.
-
Otto: *Gets down on one knee*
Kajii: Oh my god, it’s finally happening.
Otto: *Falls over*
Kajii: The poison is kicking in!
-
Vanessa: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Chi: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
-
Mako: Go to hell!
Chi, tearing up: I wish I could!
-
Chi: How petty can you get?
Vanessa: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
-
Mako: Do you take constructive criticism?
Kajii: I only take cash or credit.
-
Kajii: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Sakura: Okay.
Kajii: And make out during the scary parts.
Sakura: Th-
Sakura: The scary parts.
Sakura: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
-
Kajii: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Sakura: You mean literally or figuratively?
Kajii: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...
-
Mako: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Chi: I do have a sense of humor you know
Mako: I’ve never heard you laugh before
Chi: I’ve never heard you say anything funny
-
Vanessa: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.
Chi: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.
-
Chi, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me
Vanessa, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.
-
Vanessa: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!
Chi: How can you still say that?
Vanessa: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.
-
Kajii: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday
Sakura: Wednesay
Kajii: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible
-
Chi: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Vanessa: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.
-
Chi: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail
Vanessa: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police
7 notes · View notes
jsheios · 2 years
Text
I know that Shiver most likely doesn't come from the Octarian domes and probably lived in the Splatlands on the surface their whole life in canon, but I raise you this idea:
Newly escaped teen Shiver being taken in and adopted by a clan of sharks. who also tame non-evolved sharks
252 notes · View notes
nachotrash · 3 years
Text
ANOTHER EDITION OF INCORRECT QUOTES
ft: @catchmewiddershins @paradise-creator @elektrosonix @lilikags @todd-the-phrog and my irl bestie
Lili: I think I'm falling for you.
Anna: Then get up.
Anna: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.
Pauline: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.
*Wid walks in*
Pauline: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.
Sara: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing.
Wid: Are you a software update? because not right now.
Isamu: Is something burning?
Wid, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.
Isamu: Wid, the toaster is literally on fire.
Isamu: *seductively takes off glasses*
Isamu: Wow...
Anna: *blushes* Haha... what?
Isamu: You're really fucking blurry.
Anna: Any questions?
Wid: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
Anna: Uh, a plan, duh...
Shiyu: Wid, chill, I know it’s weird, but Anna has a point.
Wid:
Wid: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!
Wid: I know this isn’t going to end well and I don’t care. So don’t you try and stop me, Sara!
Sara: I wasn’t stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.
Lili: I'm not that stupid!
Shiyu: Lili, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.
Lili: ANNA TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!
Isamu: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-
Isamu: *sees Sara shoving Shiyu into the washing machine while Anna records and Wid watches*
Isamu: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.
Shiyu: I failed my safety training course today.
Lili: Why, what happened?
Shiyu: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"
Lili: And?
Shiyu: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.
Lili: How would you like your coffee?
Wid: As dark and as bitter as my soul.
Lili, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!
Wid: It’s time to turn this into a real business.
Shiyu: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes?
Anna: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes?
Sara: I handle our accounting.
(no but this is actually me)
Sara: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-
Anna: You sleep with a teddybear.
Sara: He’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!
Lili: You are an absolute fucking dork.
Anna, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!
Lili: *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork.
Lili: Guys, I didn’t memorize my lines!
Isamu: Just use your lack of common sense! Everyone knows the characters in plays are dumb as fuck!
*During the play*
Pauline: Hey! You finally made it! Did you get the donuts?
Lili: W-what’re donuts?
Pauline: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Anna: A doll.
Isamu: A cinnamon roll.
Lili: A sweetheart.
Pauline:
Pauline: ...stop it.
Pauline: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.
Wid: Aren't you forgetting something?
Pauline: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Wid's forehead before running out.*
Wid: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?
Pauline: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gunna unmake it to sleep in it anyways?
Anna: Why should I feed you if your just gunna die anyways?
Pauline:
Pauline: I'll go make my bed-
Lili: Yo dumbass, get over here.
Shiyu: Okay-
Anna: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming!
Shiyu, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...
Shiyu: That shirt looks great, Sara.
Sara: Thanks.
Shiyu: But I bet it would look even better on Lili's floor.
Lili: Are you hitting on Sara... for me?
Pauline: I dare you-
Lili: Isamu is not allowed to accept dares anymore.
Pauline: Why not?
Isamu: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.
Pauline: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Isamu, taken from us in the prime of life; when they were crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.
Isamu: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.
Lili: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Wid, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Sara, whispering: Because I have little hands.
Wid: Because they have little hands.
Anna: I’ve made a spread sheet of all the crime in Brooklyn.
Anna: There’s so much crime in New York, no one should live here.
Lili: Pros and cons of dating me.
Lili: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Lili: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
Shiyu: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container.
Pauline: The cow??
Shiyu: What?
Isamu: Pauline, W H Y?
Lili: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?
Sara: For the dogs.
Wid: Why are your tongues purple?
Isamu, texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like?
Shiyu: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.
Isamu: Is this your plan B?
Lili: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?
Sara: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Isamu!
Anna: Truth or dare?
Isamu: How many children do you have?
Isamu, tearing up the room: Where are they?
Sara, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?
Isamu: I failed my safety training course today.
Pauline, watching Isamu and Sara fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?
(ok but this is kinda accurate)
Isamu: Do you want some tea?
Pauline: I have an idea.
Wid: When I was a kid, Isamu told me that the paper strip that’s in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for a year.
Pauline: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??
Shiyu: What's wrong with you?
Wid: I intend to stay pissed at you forever.
Anna, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.
Anna, holding a rock: Isamu just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock".
Anna: What do you have?
Pauline: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.
Lili: Alright, listen up you little shits.
Anna: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!
Pauline: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?
Sara: How stupid do you think I am?!
Pauline: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-
Lili: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Pauline.
Lili: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Anna: I wanna die.
Shiyu: Are you sure this is safe?
Wid: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.
Isamu: The time to act is now.
Isamu: Shiyu won’t wake up, what do I do?
Isamu: Why doesn’t Pauline find me sexy when I bite my lip?
Wid: Anna's first detention, I'm so proud.
Pauline: She's the girl of my dreams!
(and now, an only ship edition)
Pauline: So, are you two dating now?
Anna: I didn't drink that much last night.
Anna: Did you know you remind me of all 26 letters of the alphabet?
Shiyu: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.
Isamu: *sees Anna and Pauline together*
Pauline: Two years ago, I married my best friend.
Anna: Well, remember when Lili made a romantic dinner for me?
Isamu: Sara, let’s go!
Anna: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Wid: Is this your plan B?
Shiyu: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!
Lili: I find it very unseemly of Shiyu to start dating again. Isn't the customary period of mourning 10 years?
Shiyu: Hey, Pauline? Can I get some dating advice?
Shiyu: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...
Isamu: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.
Anna: Guys, my friend here is bilingual.
Sara: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Anna: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
Shiyu: Isamu kissed me!
Sara: Ooh, somebody has a crush
Lili: *sees Anna and Shiyu together*
*playing twister*
Wid: So, what is Shiyu to you?
Shiyu: Why are your tongues purple?
14 notes · View notes
maybeimamuppet · 3 years
Text
dream a better dream
hello my little muppets!! happy wednesday!
this is a request fill for @erikascadys who requested sharkboy and lavagirl au! janis is lavagirl and damian is shark boy. and cady is just cady :))
i don't think i need any trigger warnings, but as always if I've missed one please let me know so I can add it!
anyway, please enjoy!
---
Cady has always been a dreamer.
Growing up in Kenya, it was nearly the only thing she could do to entertain herself. Sure, she had a few toys, or books to read, or lions to chase. But in terms of other humans, all she had were her parents and her dreams.
Her personal favorite dream first appeared one night when she was ten. Cady’s family had just gotten the news that her older brother, Rhys, had been killed in the line of combat. The only place Cady has as an escape from her grief is in her dreams.
She dreams of two people. Friends. A boy and a girl. The boy is part human, part shark. He has legs, but also fins. A human face, but shark teeth. And human hands, but sharp claws. In spite of everything, he seems kind. He cares for his shark friends and all the fish, carefully tends to the corals and feeds the seaweed and anemones. Cady cleverly dubs him Sharkboy.
The girl is very different. She’s made of lava and fire, with bright pink hair and the ability to shoot lava from her hands. Cady doesn’t know much else about her. She names her Lavagirl and leaves it at that.
-
Cady frantically writes her dream in her dream journal when she wakes up the next morning. She’s kept one since she learned how to write, detailing all her most precious dreams. She has a feeling this one is extra special.
“I’m going to the watering hole to take a bath!” She yells to her parents as she runs out of their tent. Her dad grabs her by the back of her shirt and scoops her up before she can make it out. “Hey!”
“Why are you suddenly so eager to take a bath?” Her dad asks, setting her down again.
“I’m not! I’m just excited for the day! I had a super special dream!” Cady says, bouncing up and down a few times. Her dad gives her a sad smile and ruffles her hair.
“Okay. Watch for crocs and hurry back for breakfast, binti.”
“I will!” Cady says, dashing out again.
-
After a quick but expert assessment, Cady dubs the small pool to be free of crocodiles and any other predators. The zebras wouldn’t be drinking here for so long, otherwise.  Cady leaps in with a small splash and opens her eyes under the water. She’s been trying to learn how to do that recently.
But someone else is there. She screams and pops her head back above the surface. The figure follows. “Sharkboy?”
“Yeah!” Sharkboy says. “Hi!”
“You’re real?” Cady asks in awe.
“Yeah, duh! I’m right here,” Sharkboy says.
“Whoa,” Cady whispers. “Um… can I finish my bath, please? Then we can get to know each other!”
“Oh! Yeah, sorry!” Sharkboy says, turning around and covering his eyes. Cady swims back down and finishes cleaning herself, then dries herself off and gets dressed. Sharkboy swims up and rests on the shore.
“I thought you were a dream,” Cady murmurs, tilting her head. Sharkboy shakes his head.
“Nope! Well, kinda. But everything that is, or was, or will be, began with a dream.”
“Huh,” Cady says, tilting her head. “Okay, do you wanna go play? I’ve never… I’ve never had a human friend before.”
“I’m not human,” Sharkboy says, smiling so she can see his teeth.
“Oh, right,” Cady giggles. “I’ve never had a shark friend before either.”
Sharkboy smiles wider. “Yeah, come on. I bet you’re pretty fast growing up out here.”
“Tag! You’re it!”
-
Cady shares her breakfast with Sharkboy, and they play together in between Cady’s chores. She learns his real name is Damian, and that he was a marine biologist with his mother. Their research base was destroyed in a storm, and he was practically adopted by the sharks. And now he searches the universe for his mother.
“I hope you find her,” Cady says genuinely. “We lost my brother a while ago. But he’s not coming back.”
“I heard. I’m sorry,” Sharkboy says. Cady shrugs.
“It’s okay. I miss him a lot, but my parents say he’s still with me. Anyway, you wanna come see the lions? They’re my favorite.”
Sharkboy nods and runs after her to help feed the lions their dinner. The sun is setting, painting the sky gold and orange and pink as it makes its way down for the day. Once the first stars are just beginning to twinkle for the night, a bright flash of pink light suddenly glows from behind them.
“Lavagirl,” Cady breathes when she turns around. Lavagirl smiles slightly and nods. Maybe that really is her name. “You’re real too!”
“Sharkboy, I need your help,” Lavagirl says. “You have to come with me. A great crisis is developing on the Planet Drool.”
Sharkboy nods and heads to her side. They begin to run off together, before freezing and turning back to Cady.
“Can you come as well, Cady?”
“Er… I would,” Cady stutters. “I’d really like to, but… I have homeschool tomorrow.”
Lavagirl nods in understanding, and they both turn back and continue running off. Cady doesn’t see them again.
—-
Until six years later. Cady’s parents have lost their funding and are forced to move back to America. Cady is both upset and excited. She’s sad to be leaving the only home she’s known, but eager to experience life in the west. And go to real school for the first time.
She starts at North Shore High three days after they move to Chicago. Her wishes for a happy American life are quickly dashed.
The building is massive and meandering, built of a labyrinth of hallways and classrooms that all look the same and packed wall to wall with other kids all shoving and pushing and yelling. Like sardines.
Sharkboy would like that, she thinks with a little smile. And he could use his navigation instincts to help me get around this place.
By some miracle she makes it to homeroom on time and plops herself in an empty seat near the front of the room. She looks up when it suddenly goes quiet and the teacher begins speaking.
“Hello class, I’m Ms. Norbury, I teach AP Calculus,” she begins. Cady looks up in relief and checks her schedule. This is her math teacher. “And we have a new student this year, I see. Caddy Heron?”
“Uh-it’s Cady,” Cady stutters quietly, raising her hand. “I used to be homeschooled.”
That gets a few snickers from people in the back of the room, and Ms. Norbury’s demeanor seems to change slightly. “That’s a fun way to steal from my union.”
“Oh! No, no,” Cady says immediately. “I grew up in Kenya, my parents are zoologists. Not many unions there.”
Much to her relief, Ms. Norbury relaxes slightly and gives her a kind smile. “In that case, welcome to North Shore. I saw you on my roster for the afternoon, I look forward to seeing what you can do.”
Cady gives her an eager smile back and nods as she gathers her things once the bell goes off.
—-
In her English class, she gets an assignment to write a short story about her favorite childhood memory. Cady thinks long and hard about which moment to choose. The time a lion broke into her tent and cuddled her all night? Or the time she got to see the city of Nairobi for the first time? Her first airplane trip?
Suddenly, it hits her. She had never had more fun as a kid than when she spent the day with Sharkboy. So Cady writes about that. What could go wrong?
As it turns out, reading the essay aloud in front of the whole class is what can go wrong. Cady eagerly volunteers to go first. Mistake one.
She looks up when she finishes reading, to the sneers and smirks of her classmates. And that’s before they start laughing out loud. One of them even throws a ball of paper at her.
“Sit down, Cady,” her teacher says gently. Cady sits down quietly back at her spot, trying to ignore the jeers of the other students. “Cady appears to have merely misunderstood the assignment. I asked for true stories. But that was a very well done work of fiction.”
“It is true!” Cady says, much louder than she’s spoken all day. Another paper ball hits her. Cady pulls her dream journal out of her backpack, where she also wrote about the day she got to spend with Sharkboy. “He said everything that is, or was, started with a dream. It’s true.”
Her teacher looks at her sadly and gives a slight head shake as the next kid gets up to read their essay. Cady doesn’t speak up again until the bell rings.
“Cady, a moment please,” her teacher asks quietly. Cady sheepishly heads over to her desk. “You have a real way with words. But you’re sixteen, in the eleventh grade. It’s time to stop dreaming, okay?”
Cady takes the pencil she had tucked behind her ear and scratches that down in her journal. “No dreaming. Got it. I-I’ll try harder.”
Her teacher looks at her sadly but nods, sending her off to her next class. Cady is pulling her schedule out of her backpack to check the room number when she’s suddenly knocked to the ground.
“Watch where you’re going, jungle freak,” the girl she’s bumped into spits.
“I’m sorry,” Cady says desperately. “I didn’t see you, I didn’t mean it-“
“I’m sure you didn’t. As payback… what is that?”
“My-my dream journal,” Cady says, clutching it to her chest.
“Can I see it?” The girl asks. Cady naively hands it over. The girl flips through it and laughs. “You’ll get an edited version tomorrow.”
“Wait, give it back!” Cady yells, trying to run after her. The girl’s two cronies block her path.
“Trust us, don’t mess with Regina. We’ll try to keep her from doing too much to it. But she can do a lot worse,” the blonde one murmurs.
Cady hollowly stops fighting them and steps back. The girls give her an apologetic look before they run after their friend.
————-
Cady cries herself to sleep that night. America is nothing like she thought it would be. She wishes she could be back in Kenya, where the only things around for miles to laugh at her were the hyenas. Or, at the very least, that she wouldn’t have to go to school tomorrow. Maybe there’ll be a bad storm. With tornados.
In her dreams, Sharkboy and Lavagirl make an appearance for the first time since she was eleven. She’d gotten little glimpses of their work on planet Drool, as they helped make it into the awesome planet of Cady’s dreams. They seemed happy.
But something is wrong, now. Cady can’t quite piece it together, but the scenes she can see clearly aren’t right. She wakes up with a gasp and runs to the window. A bright, clear day greets her mockingly.
“Guess I didn’t dream hard enough.”
—————
Cady trudges through the morning. Her parents are arguing over something or other, probably trying to get her father a job again. Cady’s mom asks her to come right home after school so they can all talk. Cady suddenly starts wishing something will happen at school so she doesn’t have to go home.
By lunch, the sky about matches her mood. Dark clouds block out any hint of blue that wanted to shine through, and loom ominously over the building. Her science teacher takes the opportunity to teach about tornados and their origins.
Regina strolls in casually about ten minutes after the bell, holding a bag that must be too small to carry all her books. Not that she cares.
Cady stands and goes to her desk, holding out a hand. “Give it back.”
“Ladies, is there an issue?” the teacher asks.
“Regina took my dream journal yesterday.”
“Ooh, a liar, too, how fun,” Regina titters.
“Regina, give Cady her book. It hasn’t even been a week and you’re already picking up the bullying again,” the teacher huffs. Something tells Cady that Regina had never set the bullying down in the first place.
Begrudgingly, Regina picks up her designer bag and roots through it. Cady thankfully takes her precious book back. But as she opens it to check that all her dreams are where they were before, she gasps in horror.
Every single page has been scratched out one way or another. Lipstick, black marker in swirly handwriting, even a few pages covered in letter stickers that spell out particularly cruel taunts.
“She ruined it!”
“Where’s your proof, you little freak?” Regina retaliates.
“That’s enough! Both of you will be reporting with me to the principal’s office after school. With your parents,” the teacher yells, trying to get her class back under control. It turns out to be a futile effort when the windows suddenly blow open with the force of the winds outside. “I do not get paid enough for this.”
Everyone ducks underneath their desks as papers start flying around the room, covering their heads and faces for protection. In her haste to get back to her desk, Cady accidentally drops the journal by Regina’s feet, who bends down to pick it up with a coy smirk.
Cady has curled up in a ball beneath her desk when there’s suddenly a thunderous crash accompanied by the sounds of breaking glass. Carefully, Cady peeks up above to see…
Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Evidently having entered through a new hole in the wall.
“I’m looking for Cady,” Lavagirl says, staring down Cady’s classmates. Everyone points to Cady’s desk in the far corner. Cady squeaks and ducks back down. Lavagirl makes her way over regardless, setting homework alight on her way. When she reaches her, Lavagirl lifts Cady’s desk off the ground with just one hand, revealing Cady curled in a frightened ball. “We need your help, Cady. Come with us.”
“Wh-what do I have to do?” Cady stutters, following after the girl made of fire.
“Just come with us, we’ll explain on the way.”
“Hi Cady!” Sharkboy says, waving eagerly. Lavagirl whacks him gently.
“I can’t go with you.” Cady says.
“Why not?”
“Be-because you’re not real! Both of you! You’re just a dream,” Cady says, trying to admit it to herself as well. “And-and you’ll be gone when I open my eyes.”
Cady squeezes her eyes shut for a moment.
When she opens them again, Sharkboy and Lavagirl are gone. Or so she thinks.
“We’re still here, Cady,” Sharkboy says from behind her. Cady screams and whirls around.
“If you want to stop The Darkness from destroying our worlds,” Lavagirl growls slightly. “You’ll come with us.”
“You should probably go with them,” Cady’s teacher squeaks, poking her head up from behind her desk. Cady nods.
“Okay. I-I’ll go with you.”
——————
“Where are we going?” Cady yells, trying to keep up with her friends. Creations? No, friends is much better.
“Planet Drool!” Sharkboy yells over his shoulder.
“It’s real?!”
“Yeah! We just punched a hole in your school, is it so hard to believe?”
“How are we getting there?”
“Enough with the questions!” Lavagirl demands. Cady suddenly notices the shark shaped rocket ship in front of them.
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Put on the goggles,” Lavagirl says, handing Cady a pair of electric blue ones. Hers are purple, and Sharkboy’s are pink. Cady doesn’t judge.
“So how do you fly this thing?” Sharkboy asks. Cady looks at him.
“You don’t know?”
“That’s our whole problem!” Lavagirl says angrily. Cady blinks at her a few times sheepishly before she slams her foot on a pedal. It reveals a green ‘GO’ button. Cady presses it, and they’re off.
Cady looks out the window at the tornados, before they’re suddenly in the atmosphere.
“How do you control it?!” Lavagirl yells at her over the roaring of the engines.
“It has an auto-pilot!” Cady yells back. Lavagirl smacks the button in front of her.
“Wow, you really thought of everything!” Sharkboy says happily.
“Er… not exactly,” Cady says.
“How the fuck do we land?!” Lavagirl says when she realizes.
“That’s the bit I forgot!”
“Well, there’s Neptune,” Lavagirl spits. “Hold on to your asses!”
Cady braces and shuts her eyes, clinging to her harness for safety. Luckily they don’t seem to crash too hard. The ground is almost… squishy.
The mouth of the shark-rocket opens for them to step out onto the surface of the planet. Cady looks out in awe at the world she’s created.
“Do you recognize it, Cady?” Sharkboy asks quietly.
“Not really,” Cady admits shyly. “I feel like I should, but I just… don’t.”
“It’s affecting you too, then,” Sharkboy says sadly. Lavagirl glares at him. “I thought she’d remember!”
“Remember what?”
“Your dreams,” Lavagirl says. “The whole fucking planet? Us? Your powers?”
“I’ve got powers?”
“More than any of us,” Sharkboy says. “Remember what I told you when we met? Everything that is, or was, or will be, began with a dream. And you dreamt us, and this whole place!”
“Every dream you ever had landed here,” Lavagirl says.
“Oh. Why-why is it so dark? I don’t have that many nightmares,” Cady says.
“It began yesterday. What’s the calculation, Sharkboy?” Lavagirl asks. Sharkboy pulls out a shark-shaped device. It’s beeping quietly and seems to be scanning the environment for something.
“About forty-five minutes,” he replies.
“Forty-five minutes until what?” Cady asks.
“Until the planet… is… destroyed,” Sharkboy says sheepishly.
“We didn’t pick you up to save you,” Lavagirl says, looking out over the darkening horizon. “We need you to save us.”
“Oh. How-how do I do that?” Cady asks anxiously. This is way more responsibility than she asked for when she started keeping a dream journal.
“The dream lair over there. That’s where your dreams are going bad,” Sharkboy says sadly. “We have to get you there and find out what’s happening to them. And hopefully reverse it.”
Sounds simple enough.
“We’ll have to travel through the Passage of Time, catch the Train of Thought, swim down the Stream of Consciousness, and skate across the Sea of Confusion. Because it’s frozen now. Nice going, Cady,” Lavagirl grumbles.
“Lava, don’t be mean! It’s not her fault,” Sharkboy admonishes. “We brought Cady here to put things back in order. We just have to stay positive! It’s not the end of the world.”
“It literally is, though!” Lavagirl yells from a ways away. She turns around and walks backwards away from them for a moment. “The planet is dying, come on!”
“What’s her deal?” Cady asks anxiously as she and Sharkboy run after Lavagirl. Suddenly, a groaning creak is heard, and they both turn around to find the shark rocket being swallowed by the Darkness. “Run!”
Everyone picks up the pace, until they’re suddenly on a platform moving rapidly towards a sort of carnival.
“How is this here if you’ve never been to a carnival?” Lavagirl asks.
“I read about them in books and stuff. I always wanted to go to one,” Cady says sheepishly. “I was, like, ten, give me a break!” Lavagirl shrugs and turns away from her with a huff. “Where is everyone? My dream planet shouldn’t be so lonely.”
“They’re stuck,” Sharkboy says, pointing to a roller coaster weaving around a tall mountain that looks remarkably like Kilimanjaro. “Trapped. Ms. Neverbury has everyone kind of held hostage.”
“How awful,” Cady says sadly. “My world was supposed to be fun.”
“Oh, it’s fun, alright,” Lavagirl chuckles sardonically. “Endless fun. Once you get on, you can’t get off.”
“Kids aren’t allowed to rest here, because if they rest, they sleep, if they sleep, they dream, and if they dream…”
“It takes power away from Neverbury. But we have a secret weapon to stop her,” Lavagirl says mischievously.
“Oh, good,” Cady says in relief.
“It’s you, dipshit,” Lavagirl huffs.
“Oh. You know, you’re a lot more rude than I remember!” Cady yells as Lavagirl rushes up to the coaster. “You’re very dismissive!”
“Get used to it!” Lavagirl yells back, reaching up a fist and floating up to the carts rushing around.
“Don’t mind her, she’s having a sort of… identity crisis,” Sharkboy says apologetically. “She’s usually pretty nice, but she’s scared, and she gets angry when she’s afraid.”
“Would you two shut up? We’re on a time crunch here!” Lavagirl reminds them, dangling upside down from the coaster.
“Oh, oops,” Sharkboy says. He does the same motion and joins Lavagirl above their heads, moving to stop the coaster. Cady tries it too, but she can only jump about a foot.
“Man, why can’t I do that?”
Luckily for her, there’s a ladder a few feet away. She’ll have to use that until she figures out how to jump the way her new friends do.
“Whoa,” she breathes as Lavagirl suddenly lands on the cart of the coaster, somehow perfectly steady even as it hurtles around the winding track. Everyone on the cart cheers in relief. Lavagirl hops down in front of it, causing sparks to fly as she attempts to stop it with one hand and shoots lava to weaken the tracks with the other. Sharkboy grabs onto the back and pulls, and their combined strength makes the coaster grind to a halt.
“Who knows where Neverbury is hiding?” Lavagirl demands. She tilts her head in confusion as everyone appears to have both hands raised. “All of you?”
“You’re all upside down,” Cady giggles from her position on the ladder.
“Oh.”
Suddenly, a booming voice echos around them. “Who is stopping my unstoppable fun?!”
Lavagirl gasps and shoots small jets from both hands to release the bars on all the kids, allowing them to fall gently to the ground and run to safety.
“Who is Neverbury?” Cady asks, hopping into the coaster herself and bringing the bar down for protection as it begins to move again. Sharkboy sits next to her, and Lavagirl stands on the front to coast along.
“She’s supposed to be the sort of protector here,” Sharkboy says. “Keep everyone safe. Be a light. But all she brings now is darkness.”
Cady is about to respond when she’s suddenly slammed backwards into her seat. She screams as the coaster suddenly rockets off, hurtling down the track at impossible speeds. Nothing is impossible here, she reminds herself.
“She’s taking us up!” Sharkboy yells. Cady clings to his arm in fright. She decides she’s not quite so interested in riding roller coasters anymore.
Cady peeks up from Sharkboy when they finally come to a blessed stop, letting out a little squeak of fright. Sharkboy gently pats her head to let her know it’s alright before he hops out of the cart. Lavagirl follows him, and Cady scrambles out once she can feel her extremities again.
A large robot has its back to them, fiddling with various buttons and levers to bring images up on the large screens in front of it. It yells something at whatever she sees before it turns to see them. Cady screams quietly. It looks a lot like Ms. Norbury. What I wouldn’t give to be in calculus class right now.
“Well well well, if it isn’t Sharkboy and Lavagirl,” the robot says. “What do you want? Why have you halted my endless fun and infiltrated my lair?”
“We don’t need permission from you, you circular bitch,” Lavagirl huffs.
“Man. Fiery today,” Neverbury huffs. She appears to notice Cady then. “Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met. I am Ms. Neverbury.”
“Um-hi,” Cady says anxiously.
“Why are you doing this to our planet? You’re supposed to be running it,” Sharkboy demands.
“You’re supposed to be running it,” Neverbury mocks. “I am running it, I do run it. Right into the ground. Er, those are my orders.”
Maybe Cady has less control here than Sharkboy and Lavagirl thought. Everything here is supposed to be under her command, but she would’ve never ordered something like this. “Who ordered that?”
“No school, no discipline, no rules,” Neverbury continues. Cady loves school. She loves rules. This is clearly the work of someone else. Not even childhood Cady would’ve done something like this. “And no dreaming.”
“Dreams can destroy you, can’t they?” Lavagirl asks coyly. “That’s why we have to stop you.”
“You and what army?” Neverbury scoffs.
“Guys,” Cady says quietly, pointing behind them. A series of electrical plugs appear to have come to life behind them, sparking ominously. That’s probably not good.
Sharkboy and Lavagirl snap to attention, doing a series of very sophisticated moves and fighting the plugs back. Lavagirl looks very eager to be demonstrating some rather violent tendencies.
“Hey Sparky,” she calls loudly, getting Neverbury’s attention. “Catch me if you can.”
Cady and Sharkboy watch as she sets her hands and feet alight and rockets herself upwards, to another metal platform higher up. Neverbury follows and winces as Lavagirl shoots jets of magma out of her hands.
Cady doesn’t quite know what to do. She was never much good at fighting. Sharkboy snaps back into his fights, punching out several of the plugs and grinding their circuits with his sharp teeth. Wanting to be helpful, Cady grabs a cord and tugs as hard as she can. Eventually, it gives, and Cady winds up on her behind looking up at a plug. It rattles rather ominously and gives chase, so Cady bolts. So to speak.
She runs as fast as she can, and being Kenyan, she’s still pretty fast. She turns to check that she’s lost her pursuer at one point, and finds the plug straining at the confines of its cord.
“Aww, are you a bit short?” She teases. “We’ve all been there. Come get me, loser!”
“Cady, stop trash talking, it doesn’t suit you,” Lavagirl yells, still fighting off Neverbury above them.
“Fine,” Cady huffs. She tips her head and coos quietly as the plug continues straining. Suddenly it appears to ‘look’ to its left and spies another plug. Cady watches in horror as it plugs itself in and gives itself more reach. “Ah, shuck!”
She runs again, but pauses when she hears crunching behind her. Sharkboy is jumping up
and down on the plug, smashing it to bits and stomping out any hint of current still running through it. He smiles at Cady when the last spark flies and fizzles out.
“You’re amazing,” Cady beams.
“You had to be scared of electricity?!” Lavagirl yells.
“I grew up in a tent, I don’t like it!” Cady yells back.
“Both of you shut up!” Neverbury yells. Lavagirl shoots a stronger jet at her face. Neverbury closes her eyes and drifts down slightly. Lavagirl relaxes, but Neverbury quickly pops back up. “Haha, pranked.”
“Good one,” Lavagirl huffs, grinding her heels in an attempt to get a good stance to continue fighting.
“Did you really believe you could stop me? Aww,” Neverbury coos.
Lavagirl kites her back down to Cady and Sharkboy. Sharkboy runs up to aid in the fight.
“I know we can’t,” he says threateningly. “But she can!”
They both point to Cady, who stands there uselessly. Neverbury laughs. Cady holds up her fists.
“Show ‘em what you’re made of, Cades,” Lavagirl huffs.
“What am I supposed to do?” Cady asks urgently. Lavagirl takes a moment to smack Sharkboy upside the head.
“I told you this would happen!”
“I thought she would remember!” Sharkboy defends, rubbing his sore spot.
“Remember what?!” Cady demands from the both of them.
Lavagirl is about to answer when she’s suddenly snatched up by one of Neverbury’s metal claws. Cady shrieks as the other claw grabs her by the foot and dangles her upside down.
“Your dream! Remember the dream,” Sharkboy yells at her.
“I don’t remember half my dreams!” Cady yells back. “That’s why I write them in my journal!”
“What part of your dream do you remember?” Lavagirl yells, trying to get free from Neverbury’s grasp.
“I remember this,” Cady says, feeling like she’s about to hurl. Keep it together. Sharkboy is grabbed by a third claw and brought up to their level.
“Where are you taking us?!” He demands.
“Oh, where all useless dreams go. The dream dump,” Neverbury shrugs. The three of them are suddenly dangled over the chasm below, and dropped.
“This is not what I signed up for!” Cady yells on her way down.
—-
They fall for who knows how long before thudding down onto a metal platform. It spits them back out, onto a sort of conveyor belt. At least they all made it.
“Cuckoo!” Sharkboy warns. Everyone ducks down to avoid being decapitated by a large bird. “At least we’re on the passage of time! Maybe it’ll take us to the dream lair!”
Cady looks around at the various clocks they’re surrounded by. Something isn’t right with them. They’re going backwards.
“It’s going the wrong way,” Lavagirl huffs. “Dream lair is that way, genius.”
“What is the dream lair?” Cady asks quietly.
“It’s where all the dreams that fuel the planet are stored,” Sharkboy replies. “But they’re being destroyed.”
“How?”
“That’s what we have to find out. Soon, even the two of us will cease to exist,” Sharkboy sighs, gesturing to himself and Lavagirl.
“Duck!” Lavagirl yells, pointing. Everyone hits the deck again to avoid a duck-shaped cuckoo. “Heh.”
“Cady, just out of curiosity,” Sharkboy asks as they warily stand once again. “Where is this dream journal?”
“Oh, good idea,” Lavagirl says, the first positive thing she’s said all day. “We can read it out loud and set everything back the way it was!” She adds in a whisper, “And maybe find out my true identity.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Where is it?”
“I… uh…,” Cady stutters, feeling around in her pockets. “I don’t have it. I must have dropped it during the storm.”
Lavagirl’s hair suddenly sets ablaze in anger, and she shatters the next cuckoo in a single punch. “I was really starting to think you were the answer, Cady.”
“Don’t listen to her,” Sharkboy grumbles protectively. “She’s just mad because she’s having an identity crisis and you didn’t fix it for her.”
“Shut up, Sharky!” Lavagirl yells. “Look who’s talking. You’re mad she didn’t make you… king of the ocean or whatever the fuck, with a giant fish army. Cady thought her dream world would be a happy place. We’ve all been had.”
“Guys!” Cady yells, interrupting their bickering. “End of the line.”
“Oh, shit,” Sharkboy says, as the end of the conveyor belt gets ever nearer. There’s nowhere to go but down. Lavagirl falls first, followed by Cady and Sharkboy.
Cady yelps in pain as she lands smack on top of Lavagirl, scrambling away to avoid any serious burns. Lavagirl buries her face in the dirt and groans. “I think you dislocated a few of my craters.”
“Sorry,” Cady says frantically. “Ow, you’re hot.”
“Thanks,” Lavagirl teases. “We gotta find a way out of here.”
The three of them stand and dust themselves off carefully, before setting off in an attempt to find an exit.
“I don’t think there is a way out of here,” Sharkboy says after a while. “And the Darkness is coming.” He appears to realize something, suddenly. “Wait! Cady, sit down.”
“Uh… okay,” Cady says confusedly, sitting down on a pile of calculus textbooks.
“Now dream,” Sharkboy commands. “What do you see?”
Cady closes her eyes carefully and tries to dream. “I see… a giant… Kälteen bar.” Both her companions look very unimpressed when she opens her eyes again. “I’m sorry, I’m starving! I never got my lunch.”
“For the love of magma,” Lavagirl huffs, massaging the bridge of her nose.
“Here,” Sharkboy offers, brandishing a… fish? Maybe? “Fresh sushi.”
“Blech, that’s not fresh,” Cady nearly-heaves. “I don’t even know if that’s sushi anymore.”
“Just a few weeks old,” Sharkboy shrugs.
“You want me to cook it for you?” Lavagirl asks, wrapping a fist around the poor… thing. When she pulls away, it’s been charred to a crisp. “Oops.”
“Er… on second thought, I’m not that hungry, it’s fine,” Cady says. “Let me try again.”
“Hey, um… if you happen to dream about, like, who I am… how I fit into this world,” Lavagirl murmurs. “That would… really be helpful for me.”
“Stop distracting her. Focus on the problem at hand,” Sharkboy insists.
“I can put her to sleep,” Lavagirl huffs. Sharkboy grabs her and pulls her away. “Come on, one punch?”
“She made us!”
“And where has that gotten us?!” Lavagirl roars. Cady backs away in fright, until she hits something with a metallic clang. She whirls around and looks up to see…
“Tobor!”
“Huh?”
“It’s Tobor! I tried to build him out of our old food cans and stuff when I was little,” Cady says happily. “But… I could never get him to work.”
“So here he is, forgotten in the dream dump,” Lavagirl says, finally seeming to calm down.
“He’s supposed to be very smart. Maybe he can help,” Cady says. “Tobor, wake up!”
“Yeees?” Tobor replies. Cady gasps in shock. That voice is… familiar.
“Rhys?” She asks, eyes brimming with tears. She hasn’t heard that voice since she was eight years old. She thought she had forgotten.  Tobor just gives her a wink. That’s all the confirmation she needs.
“Hello, Cady Heron.”
“You can answer anything, right?” Cady asks, wiping her eyes and looking up at Tobor’s large tin head.
“That I can. Whether it is correct is another matter entirely,” Tobor replies ominously.
“It can answer anything?” Lavagirl asks, unceremoniously shoving Cady out of the way. “Tell me something about me. Please.”
“Never heard you say please before,” Sharkboy grumbles under his breath.
“You are extremely bright,” Tobor says to Lavagirl. Her brow furrows, but she gets a slight grin as she tries to work out what that could mean. Sharkboy goes next.
“Hi Tobor! Am I king of the ocean?”
“No.”
“Damn it.”
Cady chuckles and pats his shoulder comfortingly before she goes to ask Tobor her question. “How do I save this planet?”
“The answer… is in your dreams,” Tobor says.
“You mean if I put her to sleep?” Lavagirl asks, brandishing what looks to be a tire iron.
“No, where did you even find that?!” Sharkboy says, wrestling her to take it and throwing it as far away from them as he can.
“No… at least, not here. Darkness is falling. Any dream of hers will become a nightmare. And you don’t want those becoming a reality,” Tobor continues. “But, if you go to the land of Kälteen bars… that’s where the good dreams are.”
“Oh, duh!” Sharkboy says, as if it should’ve been obvious the whole time.
“That’s where the answers are.”
“Can you take us there?” Cady asks Tobor.
“I would, but I have no body. I can’t move,” Tobor says sadly.
Lavagirl looks him up and down suspiciously. “You can move your eyes and your mouth.”
“I suppose that might work.”
Lavagirl and Sharkboy each take one of his eyes, and Cady climbs into his mouth. Suddenly, they detach from the large tin can that made up Tobor’s head a drift off to the land of Kälteen bars. What a day.
——
“Tobor, why didn’t you work when I built you?” Cady asks, drifting peacefully over what looks like a forest of brains.
“Some dreams are so powerful they become real on their own, like Sharkboy and Lavagirl. I, on the other hand, am still only a dream.”
“Oh.”
“Um…” Tobor says.
“What’s the matter?”
“Train of thought. I’m losing it.”
“Land of Kälteen bars,” Lavagirl huffs.
“No, I’m literally losing the train of thought,” Tobor says. “Down there.”
“Huh,” Cady says interestedly, looking down. “I never thought I had a train.”
“What did you think you had?” Sharkboy chuckles.
“I dunno,” Cady shrugs. “Maybe a race car. Doesn’t get too much use, but when it does it goes fast and needs frequent pit stops.”
Lavagirl chuckles at that, but stops abruptly and tries to cover it up with a cough.
“Well, since I do actually have a train… how do I keep it on track?” Cady asks anxiously.
“With your mind. You are easily distracted. Stay focused, and it will speed you directly to the land of Kälteen bars,” Tobor explains. “The rest is up to you.”
Cady and her companions jump down onto the train. Cady looks back at her old creation for a moment. “I’m sorry I forgot you.”
“Are you kidding? You’ve just saved me,” Tobor chuckles gently. “I’m free.”
“Cady!” Lavagirl yells. “Get your ass down here!”
Cady gasps and whirls around. Lavagirl has her head poking out the window of the engine car.
“What’s wrong?!” Cady yells over the roar of the train engine.
“We can’t control it!” Sharkboy says as he and Lavagirl frantically press every button and flip every lever they can reach. Cady joins in as if she knows what she’s doing.
“All you have to do is keep it on track,” she says. Sounds easy enough.
“There is no track!” Lavagirl reminds them. Cady freezes and looks out the window. She’s right.
“What do we do?” Sharkboy asks anxiously.
“Uh… scream?” Lavagirl says. “I don’t know.”
Sharkboy flips another lever, and the door opens. “Jump! It’ll be fine!”
He leaps out the door and is quickly blown off by a gust of wind. Lavagirl follows almost immediately. Cady is left alone on a crashing train. At least if she jumps she’ll crash with her friends.
Cady closes her eyes and leaps, hoping for a miracle. The wind blows her hair everywhere and stings her skin as she hurtles to the ground. Until it stops. Warily, she opens her eyes.
“A Kälteen bar!” She says happily, pushing herself upright. It tips slightly, so she puts her arms out for balance. “Whoa. In a river of milk. Huh. Um… do you guys know what it means when your train of thought… crashes?”
“Nothing good,” Lavagirl says, sounding remarkably chipper. “How much time, Sharky?”
“Twenty minutes,” Sharkboy replies anxiously. He takes a step forward to look around, but his foot suddenly sinks into a puddle of something. He yelps in surprise, but crouches down to inspect it. “Chocolate?”
“It must be the s’mores flavor,” Cady chuckles. “There’s marshmallows too.”
“Why Kälteen bars, though?” Lavagirl asks. “And not, like, cookies, or something?”
“I never had cookies as a kid,” Cady replies. “But we always had Kälteens. And I wasn’t really allowed to eat them, I ate a whole box in a row once and got sick, so my parents hid them and I could only get them if they gave them to me. They were a special thing.”
Lavagirl gives this a moment’s thought and nods. “Try to dream again. Lie down.”
Cady does, using a bit of marshmallow as a pillow. She closes her eyes, but the bar beneath her begins to shake. “It’s too shaky.”
“I hear it too,” Sharkboy says, listening around with his highly trained ears. Lavagirl raises a suspicious eyebrow at the two of them.
“Let me try.”
“No, Lava-“ Sharkboy says, but it’s too late. Lavagirl rests her head on the marshmallow, and the whole thing is suddenly charred. “Hothead.”
“Cady,” Lavagirl says suddenly. “When you dreamt up these giant bars… who did you expect to be able to eat them?”
Cady shrugs. “I dunno, I never really thought about that part.”
“Because if you dream giant bars, something has to be created to consume giant bars,” Lavagirl explains. The rumbling sounds get louder, suddenly, and everyone looks around for the source.
“Giants!” Sharkboy yells, pointing off to the left. He abandons ship again, followed by Lavagirl. Cady is so distracted looking at the giants that she nearly doesn’t make it off, leaping at the very last second before one of the giants chomps down on the Kälteen bar raft.
Luckily for them, they appear to land on…
“Hey, this was my ninth birthday cake! That thing was awesome,” Cady laughs. “Nice and springy.”
“Too much frosting,” Lavagirl grumbles, trying to brush herself clean.
Cady removes herself from her cake and turns around, watching the giants leave peacefully hand in hand. Sharkboy approaches her and rests a hand on her shoulder.
“Those giants look a lot like my parents,” Cady murmurs.
“They seem happy together,” Sharkboy nods. “Is that… another dream of yours?”
“Family,” Cady nods. “Hasn’t really been coming true lately.”
“Well, most dreams don’t come true on their own. You have to make them true,” Sharkboy says. “It takes a lot of work. Not easy. But it’s not impossible either.”
“Alright, we’ve had enough sweets, go to sleep,” Lavagirl huffs, joining them.
“I’ll try,” Cady says anxiously, laying down on the granola ground. Sharkboy gently plays with her hair to help her drift off while Lavagirl paces around.
Flowers begin to bloom around them as Cady dreams, and a shark-shaped motorcycle suddenly drives up. Sharkboy gasps excitedly and runs to check it out, so Lavagirl takes over his position by Cady’s head.
“Dream about me next,” she says quietly. “I need to know who I am. Dream of me as something good.”
A clap of thunder suddenly booms overhead, making Lavagirl whirl around. She looks back to Cady’s face and finds it pinched in concern. “She’s having a nightmare. Sharkboy, get back here!”
Sharkboy runs over and tries to shake Cady back awake, to no avail. Lavagirl stands and aims her hands carefully at Cady’s backside.
“Sorry Cady,” she murmurs, firing a jet of lava.
“Jesus!” Cady yells, her eyes snapping open as she leaps to her feet. “Ow! What the hell was that for?”
“You weren’t waking up,” Lavagirl shrugs sheepishly. Sharkboy kindly fires a jet of water to help cool her off. “Thanks Sharky. Cady… your nightmare… it was about me, wasn’t it?”
Cady tries to think. Surely that can’t be right. She can see bits and pieces, but can’t quite reach them enough to put them back together. “I don’t remember. I’m sorry.”
“Plug hounds!” Sharkboy suddenly yells, pointing to an ice cream hill above them. Neverbury makes her way to the top.
“I have the high ground!”
The hounds suddenly run towards them, stumbling down the hill. Cady and her friends run to the shark bike, but nothing happens when Sharkboy attempts to start the engine. Other than…
“Ah, fudge,” Cady says. “I forgot to dream of gas.”
“Oh my-“ Lavagirl says angrily, storming off in a huff to fight the hounds off. Sharkboy joins her. Lavagirl shoots a jet of lava at one, before she looks at her hands. “My powers are weakening.”
One of the hounds suddenly unravels, wrapping her up in tight confines while a few others zap at her toes. Sharkboy, on the other hand, is doing remarkably well, punching out several with a series of very elaborate karate moves.
He rips off a part to the shark bike to use as a staff, and takes out several more. Unfortunately, he doesn’t notice one that hasn’t quite been beat down rise to its feet, followed by another. They both shock him, causing him to fall to the ground with a pained moan.
“Hey! Leave my friends alone!” Cady yells, bending down and swiping some frosting onto her face like war paint. She’s in the middle of a battle cry when she also gets shocked and falls to the ground. It didn’t quite go to plan, but it did allow Sharkboy to escape his attackers and rush to her side.
“I don’t-I don’t have much fight left in me, Cades,” he pants.
“Where’s Lavagirl?” Cady puffs back. Lavagirl comes… flowing over, so to speak.
“What?” She asks when they both give her confused looks. “How else was I supposed to escape? Oh, don’t look at me like that, I’m literally made of lava. It’s up to you now, Cady.”
“Cady, you can dream us out of here,” Sharkboy realizes. “We believe in you, go on.”
Cady squeezes her eyes shut and tries her hardest to dream. Lavagirl quietly pleads for a lava bike behind her, and Sharkboy asks for a shark boat.  Cady opens her eyes to reveal…
“A banana split?” Lavagirl spits. “Seriously?”
“They’re really good!” Cady defends, crossing her arms over her chest protectively.
“Still hungry?” Lavagirl says threateningly, popping back into her human body and holding up a fist. “How about a knuckle sandwich?”
“Lava, chill,” Sharkboy says, batting her hands away from poor Cady’s face. “Look at it, it’s a banana split boat!”
“Then let’s split,” Lavagirl yells as another wave of plug hounds rounds over the hill. Cady helps Sharkboy push it into the milk river and start rowing just before the hounds reach them.
Once they’re steadily drifting down the river and being steered by Lavagirl, Cady and Sharkboy finally get to sit down on a swiss roll bench. “This is great, Cades. You’re starting to daydream. If you can keep this up, they’ll never get us!”
“Really?”
“Yeah! If you learn to dream with your eyes open, you don’t have to be asleep to dream,” Sharkboy explains. “You’ll be able to make anything happen at any time. You’ll be unstoppable.”
“Grool,” Cady says. She freezes suddenly. “I-uh… I meant to say great, and then started to say cool…”
Lavagirl bursts out laughing, a remarkably bright, clean sound. Cady likes it. She smiles back at her before scooping some whipped cream onto a finger to taste it. “Mm!”
“Sugar will give you nightmares,” Lavagirl says, already back to her typical brooding. Cady immediately spits out her mouthful before she swallows any. “How much time, Sharky?”
“Uhm… best not to ask,” Sharkboy says anxiously, checking his radar. “The lair of dreams is across the ocean of ice. We’ll have to travel there on foot. What did you see in your dream, Cady? Anything we can use?”
“I saw an object, shaped like… do you have something I can draw with?” Cady asks. Lavagirl holds up one of her fingers and shrugs.
“Sharky, come steer.”
Sharkboy takes hold of the cherry stem to steer their raft, and Lavagirl offers Cady her hand. Cady takes it gently and aims at one of the ice cream scoops. Lavagirl fires a jet of lava from it, letting Cady steer it around.
“A heart?” She asks, tilting her head when Cady finishes. Her eyes go wide when she puts it together. “The crystalheart!”
“It’s the treasure of the kingdom of ice, it can freeze anything!” Sharkboy says excitedly, coming to join them. The raft spins wildly until Lavagirl leaps to grab the cherry stem to keep steering. “Even time.”
“Wow,” Cady breathes. “I’ve only ever dreamt of freezing a moment in time.”
“And, even better,” Sharkboy says. “The ice kingdom is ruled by the ice princess. She’s said to be the most beautiful girl in the world.”
Lavagirl’s jaw drops open indignantly, and she fires some magma at Sharkboy’s bum.
“Ow! What the hell, man?” Sharkboy pouts, rubbing his sore backside.
“She is not! She’s cold and cruel and cares for nobody but herself! And you don’t even like girls,” Lavagirl accuses.
“Cady does!”
“I do?” Cady says in shock. She thinks for a second about her past crushes, and then shrugs. Lavagirl certainly doesn’t look too bad. “Eh, yeah, I probably do. Have you met her, Lavagirl?”
“No,” Lavagirl replies sheepishly. She puffs out her chest before continuing, “But I know we don’t get along! She’s ice. I’m fire. We must be enemies.”
“We need that crystal heart,” Cady says pleadingly. “But I’ll need you both to get it.”
Lavagirl sighs and lets go of the cherry stem. Sharkboy leaps to grab it so they don’t drift away too far. Lavagirl looks out off the edge of the raft and huffs. “I just hope this isn’t a trap.”
—————-
“Wow,” Cady breathes happily, looking around at all the beautiful crystal clear ice and powdery white snow surrounding them. It’s absolutely gorgeous, and clearly very intricate, but the air is barely chilly. Even in her thin flannel, Cady isn’t cold.
They approach a thin bridge, made of solid ice. Cady is a little apprehensive at the height, but carefully steps out onto it. Sharkboy follows. Lavagirl thinks about it, but pauses and hunches in on herself a bit just before she tries.
“I can’t go with you,” she calls. Cady and Sharkboy pause and turn around. “I’ll melt the bridge.”
“Can you chill enough to get across?” Cady asks, reaching a hand for her. Lavagirl looks at her feet, then back at her.
“I’d have to be asleep.”
“Try sleepwalking!” Cady calls to her. “You can do it!”
Lavagirl nods slightly and closes her eyes, shaking out some of the tension in her muscles before warily taking a few steps forward. She mumbles under her breath about… a dream of her own. To live on Earth. Someplace warm. And to be accepted.
“Oh no,” Sharkboy says suddenly, anxiously watching his best friend as she crosses the bridge. “No, Lava, don’t sneeze!”
He runs to block her nose with a finger, and breathes a sigh of relief when she relaxes again. He carefully removes his finger and takes a small step back.
“Achoo!”
Lavagirl sneezes, unleashing a rush of hot wind that blows Sharkboy backwards and off the bridge. He grabs onto it with one hand just before he topples all the way off to a certain doom. Cady runs to help him back up.
“Look,” she says quietly, gesturing to Lavagirl. She’s somehow still upright, but deeply asleep. She’s actually snoring quietly, which is remarkably cute. “She’s sleeping.”
Lavagirl sleepwalks towards them carefully, slowly, but isn’t melting the bridge. Cady watches her with a small smile. Until she looks behind her.
“They found us again,” Cady says, her heart sinking. “Lavagirl, behind yo-“
Sharkboy claps a hand over her mouth before she can finish her sentence. “If you wake her up, she’ll reheat. She can make it.”
Cady nods and clings to his arm in fright. “Come on, Lava.”
Sharkboy holds her back, feeling himself growing more tense. They’re all in danger, and his instincts are demanding he protect his best friend. “Lavagirl, they’re behind you!”
Cady frantically slams a hand over his mouth, and he covers it with his own hands in shame. But it’s too late. Lavagirl opens her eyes and looks behind her, bursting into flame when she sees the hounds closing in.
Cady and Sharkboy both scream in fright and run away, barreling for the other end of the bridge. Lavagirl follows them, the bridge melting and crumbling away beneath her feet as she goes.
“Come on, Lava, hurry!” Sharkboy yells. He and Cady both reach out to help her make it onto the platform holding up the castle, but yelp and quickly pull away as she burns them. They made it.
But the ground beneath them begins to crumble. The three of them whirl around.
“It’s a trap!” Cady yelps, instinctively shoving her friends behind her. A small pit suddenly forms from the ground that’s crumbled away, and Neverbury leaps out at them. Cady furrows her brow in thought. “This can’t be right. Someone-someone else’s dreams are in here.”
That’s the last thought she has before the world goes black.
—-
When she comes to, she’s suspended from the ceiling by a spring over a hole in the ground. Sharkboy is also hanging next to her, and Lavagirl is on the other side with her feet stuck in a block of solid ice.
“Welcome to the dream lair,” an ominous voice says. Ominous but… familiar, somehow. “I am the leader of this planet.”
“No you’re not!” Sharkboy yells, wriggling to try and get down. “Cady is!”
“Cady might have dreamed it originally,” the voice says with an airy titter. The large chair in front of them suddenly rotates to reveal none other than Regina George. “But I’m, like, so much cooler, wouldn’t you say? I… am Requiem.”
“How did you get so much power here?” Cady asks. “This is my world.”
Requiem pulls out a small book and holds it up to show them. Cady gasps in understanding.
“My dream journal! That’s why all my dreams are going wrong! You’re changing it!”
Requiem gives a quiet chuckle and sashays her way down in front of them. Sharkboy gasps and goes into a sort of Superman pose when he spies the tank of electric eels beneath them.
“Shocking, isn’t it Sharkboy?” Requiem hums. “Reminds me of… when an electrical storm blew apart your mother’s research lab.”
Sharkboy stops struggling for a moment and looks at her. “Where is my mother?”
Requiem flips through the journal to see if it says anything, and gives a particularly evil sounding chuckle when she finds the right page. “Check the bottom of the ocean.”
Sharkboy snarls at her and tries to get loose again. Requiem moves to Lavagirl. “And you. Once I figure out how to freeze the core of this planet, all your powers will disappear.”
“I have powers?” Lavagirl asks quietly. “What powers?”
Requiem doesn’t grace her with a response, walking to stand in front of Cady. “And last, but least. You. You thought you could escape fear by running to dreamland, hm? But fear exists in the one place you can never escape.” She hops a few times, and is suddenly floating at Cady’s eye level. “Your mind. I’ll show you the true meaning of fear.
“Anyway, for now, you must all leave. I have dreaming to do. Kisses!”
She blows them a mocking kiss with two fingers before they’re dropped, plummeting through the holes beneath them. Sigmund Freud would love it here, Cady thinks to herself.
——————
They land in a large bird cage. Lavagirl paces back and forth while Sharkboy sits next to Cady on the uncomfortable bricks they have for chairs. “If only I had my journal. Then I could turn everything back to the way it was.”
“My fire is dimming,” Lavagirl says quietly. Sharkboy looks at her sadly. He grabs one of the bars behind him and pulls as hard as he can. Nothing happens.
“My strength is fading too.”
“How much time is left?” Cady asks.
“Who cares?” Lavagirl huffs. “We’re never getting out of here.”
Cady frowns at her, but looks up in confusion when a quiet song can be heard. “That’s freaky.”
“Aww, hi La-La’s,” Sharkboy says, playing with the small bubble creatures. Lavagirl bats them away from her face angrily.
“Where did these come from? They’re so annoying.”
“Don’t listen to her, she’s just mad you’re not made of fire,” Sharkboy comforts the little things.
“They piss me off,” Lavagirl grumbles. “That song. Disturbing. It’s so high!”
“Sing louder. Higher,” Cady encourages them quietly. Lavagirl’s hair is on fire again, and she’s visibly tense. Sharkboy grabs her and pulls her close.
“You don’t want to be too close to her when she erupts,” he says quietly.
“Enough!” Lavagirl yells, firing lava out of both hands at as many La-La’s as she can reach. Inadvertently, she also melts them a way out.
“Nice progress, Lava! Much more control this time,” Sharkboy praises. Lavagirl grins at him sarcastically before she crawls out of the hole she’s made. Sharkboy and Cady follow quickly.
—————
“She’s asleep,” Lavagirl whispers to her friends beneath her. Cady crawls her way back up into the dream lair and tiptoes back over to Requiem. Ever so gently, Cady lifts her journal off of Requiem’s chest. She tiptoes back to her friends, and slides down the pillar holding the lair aloft.
“Okay, first things first,” Cady says, flipping through the pages. “A way out of here.” Suddenly, she finds the perfect page. “Oh, Lavagirl! You have a lava bike!”
“I do?” Lavagirl asks. The bike suddenly materializes next to her and she gives a delighted cackle. “I do!” She eagerly gets on and revs the engine. “Hehe, this is tits!”
“Chill out, babes,” Sharkboy chuckles.
“Even has fuel this time! Now, Sharkboy,” Cady continues, flicking through to another page. She quiets when she reads the first few sentences of it. “Your mother really is at the bottom of the ocean.”
“Oh,” he says quietly. Lavagirl takes his hand and squeezes it gently.
“She’s in a submarine, she’s looking for you! She has been since the storm,” Cady continues, looking up at him with a smile.
“Oh!” He says again. Lavagirl squeezes him one more time and smiles at him too. Sharkboy comes to read over her shoulder to figure out specifics of where it is. “I’ve gotta get back to Earth.”
“What does it say about me?” Lavagirl asks quietly. Cady flicks to yet another page.
“I’m not sure what this is.”
“I can figure it out!” Lavagirl replies, climbing off her bike and running over to them.
“Lavagirl, no, you’ll-“ Cady tries to warn, but it’s too late. Lavagirl grabs the book and turns it to ash. “Burn it.”
Lavagirl stares at her hands in shame. “What have I done?”
“Hey, it’s okay-“
“Why the fuck did you make me out of lava? Why? What fucking good am I?” Lavagirl yells, holding up glowing fists and with her hair on fire yet again. “Look at me! Why, Cady?!”
Cady looks at her sadly, and tries to follow as she storms off, but Sharkboy grabs her shoulder and pulls her back. “Let her cool off a little.”
Cady doesn’t listen, running over to where Lavagirl is sitting on a rock, head in her hands. “All I’ve ever wanted is to be good. I know I can be. I-I can feel it. But I destroy everything I touch.” She turns to Cady with tears in her eyes, boiling away into steam the second they touch her cheeks. “Why-why did you make me like this? I have-I have more potential.”
“I’m sure you do,” Cady says quietly. Lavagirl stands suddenly and turns around to see her.
“And why did you make us a team?” She continues, pointing to Sharkboy. “We’re nothing alike! I fizzle out when I touch water. When he’s near heat, he shrivels. We aren’t compatible!”
“You’re… really on fire,” Cady murmurs sheepishly.
“Yeah. I do that,” Lavagirl huffs. Sharkboy shoots some water at her to put her out. “Thanks, Sharky.” Sharkboy nods.
“No problem.”
“Maybe I really am evil. So far, everything sure looks that way,” Lavagirl murmurs, sitting down again. “Everything else you’ve dreamed has been right. Maybe I do need to learn to accept it.”
“That’s it!” Cady says. “Everything else I’ve dreamt has been right, the crystal heart!”
“We were captured last time,” Lavagirl sniffles.
“Because Requiem doesn’t want me to have it! That must mean it’s important, we must be able to use it to stop her!”
Lavagirl’s face suddenly splits into a wide smile, and she rejoins her companions.
“We have to get back to the ice kingdom!”
“We only have ten minutes left,” Sharkboy says. “We’ll never make it!”
“We can do it!” Cady yells, running off.
“How?!” Sharkboy and Lavagirl yell at the same time as they follow her.
Cady freezes in her tracks and turns back to look at them with a small smirk. “You’re Sharkboy and Lavagirl. You can do anything.”
—————
“This way,” Cady says, beckoning Sharkboy and Lavagirl over to a sort of slide into the ice palace.
“You had to pick ice?” Lavagirl grumbles.
“Hey, Kenya is really hot,” Cady defends. “Not my fault that’s where I wound up. I’m sure if my parents were studying penguins we’d be somewhere hot and you’d be having a better time right now.”
Lavagirl just crosses her arms and pouts. She’s remarkably precious, for a girl made of fire. Cady chuckles before turning back around, stopping just in time to avoid crashing face first into a tall ice pillar. Sharkboy is already looking up at the large heart shaped crystal floating above it.
“Is that what you saw, Cades?”
“Uhhuh,” Cady nods. “You’ll have to climb up there and get it. But it’s as delicate as a snowflake, so don’t drop it. And don’t touch it or you’ll freeze, use your claws.”
“Got it,” Sharkboy says, using his claws as a sort of ice pick to climb up the ice pillar. He makes it rapidly up the tower, but as he’s reaching for it, he loses his grip and slides back down. He ends up dangling from his fin a few feet off the ground. “You��re up.”
“Lava, can-“ Cady asks. Lavagirl raises an eyebrow at her. “Er… nevermind. Chew on some ice, it’ll help you cool off a bit.”
Lavagirl looks confused when Cady hands her a chunk of ice, but gnaws a bit off with her molars. “Hmm.”
Sharkboy removes his claw gloves and hands them to Cady to climb the pillar herself. It’s slower going for her, but she finds enough hand and footholds to make it to the top. Carefully, she puts on the gloves and reaches out.
“Hey, nice job, Cady!” Sharkboy calls up at her when she grabs it. Just then, he slips, and the crack caused by his fin splits the whole tower in two. It crumbles beneath Cady and she’s forced to drop the heart to save herself.
“I got it!” Lavagirl yells, lunging to grab it before it can hit the ground. She makes it, but is immediately frozen into a solid block of ice.
“Lavagirl!” Cady yells, sliding down what she has left to hold and helping Sharkboy out. She knocks carefully on Lavagirl’s forehead. “She’s frozen solid.”
Just then, a creaky rumbling echoes throughout the cavern as several ice golems rise from the ground and come to life. One with a large club looms over them threateningly and escorts them to a different room.
Once they arrive, they’re roughly shoved to the ground with a command to, “Kneel before the ice princesses.”
Princesses? Cady thinks. There’s more than one?
Sure enough, two girls in white dresses come out onto what appears to be a small stage, hand in hand. They look familiar too. An uncanny resemblance to Regina’s little minions back on Earth.
“You try to steal our crystal heart,” the one on the left asks gently. “Why?”
Cady is too distracted staring at the both of them to hear her. Why are they here? Sharboy nudges her gently to get her back into the moment. “Oh! Uh, we believe it can stop time. Long enough for us to defeat Requiem.”
“Our crystal heart cannot help you,” the other one says. “Only the two of us have the power to use it.”
“Then you can come with us!” Cady says.
“They cannot leave this castle. The crystal is the only thing that protects our kingdom,” one of the ice golems says.
“Please, princesses, we’re running out of time,” Cady begs.
“Perhaps we could… give it to you?” The first princess says. “But are you worthy to wield it?”
“I think so!” Cady chirps. “I hope so.”
“The crystal you stole was a decoy,” the second one says. A rumbling noise sounds off behind them, and several more ice pillars rise from the ground. “The real one is somewhere in this room. Choose the correct one, and you may take it with you.”
Cady and Sharkboy both turn around and look at all the crystal hearts glimmering above them. Sharkboy points to the one nearest them. “That one looks nice, pick that one.”
But Cady shakes her head and turns back to the princesses. “It’s around your hands. Tying you together.”
Sure enough, the gem dangling from what Cady originally thought to be a simple bracelet gives a magical glimmer, and the princesses give her a kind smile. She heads to stand before them politely.
“How’d you know?” Sharkboy asks in awe.
“Saw it in a dream,” Cady murmurs.
“Be aware, Cady,” the first princess says, more serious this time. They gently remove the necklace they had looped around their entwined hands and rest it in the palm of Cady’s. “If anything happens to the crystal heart, our entire kingdom will be destroyed.”
“I won’t let anything happen to it,” Cady says bravely. “I promise.”
“The crystal will now work, but we must stay here,” the second one says. “Good luck.”
And with that, they’re all tossed from the palace onto the frozen sea of confusion. Sharkboy and Cady have no choice but to push a still-frozen Lavagirl to their destination themselves.
—-
“We’re almost back to the dream lair!” Cady yells when she has it in her sights. “How much time do we have?!”
“Uh… we’re out of time!” Sharkboy yells back. “Ten seconds!”
Cady stops Lavagirl and hops off, standing on the frozen sea. She holds the crystal heart aloft. “Here goes nothing.”
The crystal gives a promising glimmer, but then… everything goes dark. Including the crystal.
“What happened?”
Sharkboy shrugs. “It didn’t work.”
“How could it not work?”
Suddenly, a crunching noise can be heard as Lavagirl finally frees herself from her ice cocoon. “Only the ice princesses can use it. I was trying to tell you.”
“There’s nothing,” Sharkboy says, staring at his shark radar. “No readings, no nothing.”
Suddenly, a small crack forms in the ice, revealing a melted chasm. Neverbury’s cackling laughter can be heard.
“Sharkboy, no!” Lavagirl says. “She’s baiting you.”
Sharkboy tenses, and clenches his jaw. “I can’t… resist my instincts!”
Before either of them can react, stop him, Sharkboy dives into the water in front of them and swims rapidly to the other side. Neverbury stands ominously above him. Sharkboy tilts his head in confusion as she tries to make a poorly timed electrical joke.
“Oh, fuck it,” Neverbury huffs. “Electric eels, eat up.”
“Sharky, no!” Lavagirl yells, lunging for him. Cady grabs her to hold her back. “Swim away! Run!”
Sharkboy tries, swimming as fast as he possibly can. But the eels are faster, and quickly surround him. Cady and Lavagirl watch in horror as he suddenly goes limp and sinks to the bottom.
“No!” Cady says, trying to touch the water. It’s still electrified, the current nearly melting off the rubber sole of her shoe. “Can-can he survive down there?”
“He can hold his breath,” Lavagirl replies, staring hollowly at the water. “But not forever. He’ll drown if I don’t save him.”
“No, I can’t let you go,” Cady says with a sob, clinging to her arm. “You’ll die too.”
Lavagirl turns to look at her, gently cupping her cheek with a warm hand and kissing her. She pulls away before Cady has time to process what’s happening. “He’s my best friend. I have to. We love you.”
With that, she turns back and dives into the water, swimming down to Sharkboy on the sea floor. Cady watches as she grabs him by a hand and hauls him back up to the surface. Cady helps lift them both back onto the shore.
“Sharkboy?” Cady asks frantically, trying to shake him awake. “Wake up, please! Come on, please, please please.”
She’s so distracted with Sharkboy that she doesn’t notice Lavagirl crawling away from the water before collapsing. She’s not breathing, and her fire has been extinguished.
Cady whirls around when she hears a rattling breath, and finds Lavagirl’s lifeless form. “No, no, no, Lavagirl, please! Not both of you!”
Neither of them wake. Cady frantically shakes them, crying harder than she thinks she ever has, but to no avail.
“I can’t do this without you!” She sobs. “What am I supposed to do now?”
Suddenly, the disembodied face and voice of Tobor appears. “What do you think you should do, child?”
“Dr-dream… a better dream,” Cady whimpers, holding the lifeless hands of both her friends.
“Interesting,” Tobor says kindly. “Explain.”
“I wanted all my dreams to come true,” Cady sniffles. “But… I only dreamed for myself. This whole place only exists because I wanted to escape my real world. But I should’ve dreamed to make my real world a better place. Selfish dreams shouldn’t come true.”
“You’re becoming a very good dreamer, Cady,” Tobor says. “You always were, monkey. Get it back.”
“What do you do?” Cady asks hollowly. “When your dreams have been destroyed?”
“Dream a better dream,” Tobor replies. “An unselfish dream. You can do it. I believe in you, monkey.”
“I love you,” Cady says as Tobor floats away. She never thought she’d hear her brother call her ‘monkey’ again. She needs to say it. Tobor winks at her, and then he’s out of sight.
Cady takes a deep breath, and squeezes both of the hands in her own. “Dream a better dream.”
Sharkboy suddenly snaps awake next to her, coughing some water out of his lungs. Cady tips him onto his side and pats his back to help. He looks at her thankfully before crawling over to Lavagirl.
“She knew this would happen,” Cady murmurs. “If she saved you. I couldn’t stop her.”
Sharkboy nods sadly, taking Lavagirl’s hand. It’s cool to the touch, for the first time since their creation. Suddenly, a bright light is visible from behind them. Sharkboy and Cady turn around to see Lavagirl’s volcano home glowing brightly.
“Lava,” Cady breathes. “We have to get her there.”
“I’ll go,” Sharkboy says. Cady grabs his arm to stop him. “I’m stronger, and faster.”
“No, I can’t let you go again. You’ll burn up,” she says desperately.
Sharkboy doesn’t listen, cradling Lavagirl’s body in his arms. “Are you sure this will save her?”
“It’ll do more than save her,” Cady agrees quietly. They have a stronger bond than they’ll ever have with her. She knows she can’t stop him now. She blinks, and Sharkboy is gone. She can faintly see a blue and pink blur running at inhuman speeds towards the volcano. Cady hunches in on herself and says a little prayer.
“I know who you are now, Lavagirl. You are not fire, or a simple flame. You are greater than that. Something more important, and so necessary. That is why you have to live. You are not destruction. You are not evil.”
Cady winces as she sees Sharkboy chuck Lavagirl into the mouth of the volcano, and watches in horror as he’s thrown back by the force of the eruption once she makes contact.
But then, she sees Lavagirl standing where he just was, and watches her hands suddenly glow bright like beacons.
“You are light.”
Cady closes her eyes as a bright glow rushes over her. Lavagirl has realized her true power. And so has Cady.
“Holy shit!” Sharkboy screams when she suddenly appears beside him. He holds a hand over his heart as he tries to get his breath back. “How-how did you get here so quick?”
Cady doesn’t answer that. “Hold off Neverbury. I’m off to deal with Requiem.”
“I’ll need my fish army,” Sharkboy says. Cady turns to look at the frozen ocean they were just on.
“I’ll unfreeze the ocean.” With a snap of her fingers, it’s done. “Good luck. I love you both.”
-
“I’ve become what you feared most,” Cady murmurs to Requiem’s turned back. “Requiem.”
Requiem whirls around in surprise. “How’d you get in here?”
“I’m the day dreamer,” Cady replies. “Able to dream with my eyes open.”
“Hate to burst your bubble here, dream girl, but I’ve read your little book,” Requiem says. “There’s not one dream you have that I haven’t already seen. So what do you say? Let’s blow the roof off this place.” She raises her arms, and suddenly they’re on what appears to be a battlefield. “May the best dream win.”
She sticks out a hand towards Cady, releasing a wave of piranhas. Cady winds up and sticks out her own hand, releasing a wave of…
“Bubbles? Come on,” she whispers. But, as the bubbles make contact with the chomping fish, they’re suddenly trapped inside and carried off with the wind. “Oh. I guess that worked.”
She winds up again, and blows a wave of butterflies towards Requiem. Requiem unleashes her own swarm of wasps.
“Wait!” Cady yells. All the bugs suddenly disappear. She puts a finger to her temple and closes her eyes. “Brain storm.”
Requiem looks at her in confusion before she puts the pieces together and looks up in horror. “Eww!”
Brains splat down to the ground all around her, and she puts her arms up to protect her head from the falling craniums. She screams when one lands in her hands and throws it as far as she can, wiping off the fluid on her cape.
“Brain… freeze!” She yells, lifting her arms to the sky. All the brains raining down pause in place before landing in the ground in a single sheet.
“Brain.. fart,” Cady replies with a giggle. Requiem’s head suddenly swells to roughly one hundred times the size it’s meant to be, and she leans from side to side in a ditch attempt to keep her balance. Before she knows it, she’s completely upside down resting on top of her hand. “Nice headstand!”
Requiem’s head deflates, and she lands back on her feet. She looks at Cady and gives her a quiet chuckle. “You’re afraid of me, aren’t you?”
Cady watches in horror as she moves her hands down her sides in a quick motion, and suddenly rockets off into the sky on a stone tower. Cady repeats the motion and rises to the same height on a pillar of her own.
“I used to be,” she says quietly. “But now I understand. Someone ruined your dreams, and now all you can do is ruin everyone else’s.”
Requiem scowls at her, and sends her tower even higher. Cady follows again. The air is getting a bit thin up here. Hopefully she won’t have to go any higher.
“We can create a better dream than this,” Cady pleads. “A better world. Don’t you see?” She snaps her fingers, and a makeshift bridge suddenly appears between each of their towers. Cady carefully walks halfway across it and reaches out a hand. “What do you say? Regina?”
Regina looks at her in shock for a moment, but slowly joins her on the bridge. She looks at her own hand, before inching it toward’s Cady’s.
Just before they touch, a creaking can be heard and the bridge gives way beneath them. Cady uses her day dreamer powers to sort of float, rushing quickly after Regina.
“Don’t let me fall!” Regina screams, covering her face so as not to see her rapidly approaching doom. Cady grabs her wrist and floats them gently to the dream lair.
“Wouldn’t dream of it. Don’t ruin people’s dreams, Regina. Because you ruin your own, too. And then you’ll stop believing.”
Cady is suddenly tackled to the soft ground from behind. She screams, but looks up just in time to see Lavagirl before their lips are slammed together. Her warmth is back.
“Cady,” Lavagirl whispers against her lips. “I am light. Thank you.”
“You always were,” Cady replies, holding Lavagirl’s hips as she straddles her. “Nothing to do with me.”
Lavagirl kisses her again. “But now I know. So thank you.”
“Big deal,” Sharkboy teases. “The real news is what I am!”
“A pain in the ass?” Lavagirl asks, finally standing and helping Cady up.
“I’m king of the ocean!”
Cady giggles at their bickering.
“Yeah, yeah. Thanks for saving me,” Lavagirl says quietly, leaning in to kiss his cheek. There’s a quiet sizzle and flash of light when she makes contact.
“Ouch,” Sharkboy says, rubbing his cheek. At least he’s smiling.
“Everything will return to the way it was,” Regina says from behind them, joining the conversation. “You will be able to travel to Earth and back again as you wish.” She gestures to Sharkboy. “You can search for your mother.” To Lavagirl. “You can rule Earth’s lava realm.”
“And just what am I supposed to do?” Neverbury asks, appearing out of nowhere. “Now that you’re all… buddy buddy.”
“You can go back to being the good guardian of the planet,” Regina replies.
Neverbury cackles. “Oh, really? Keeping everything running? Making sure this loud, obnoxious world is a happy place?”
“Hey!” Cady says sadly.
“You’re dreaming.” Neverbury chuckles.
“I dreamt you,” Cady says boldly, letting go of Lavagirl’s hand and puffing out her chest at Neverbury. “And I can un-dream you.”
“You think you can just snap your eyes open and make me vanish?” Neverbury threatens. “Not so easy. I am the danger of dreaming. For every person who dreams up the lightbulb, there’s the one who dreams up the atom bomb. This is one dream you won’t be waking up from. I’m gonna put an end to this ridiculous tangent at it’s source.”
With that, she takes off towards Earth. Cady yelps and leaps out of the way. “Where did she go?”
“She’s headed to Earth,” Sharkboy says, tracking her on his radar.
“She’s going to try to destroy you in your sleep,” Regina says.
“In my sleep?” Cady asks quietly. “You mean I’m asleep?! All this time I’ve been asleep?!”
“No,” Lavagirl says calmly, coming over to her. “You’re dreaming, Cady.”
“With your eyes open,” Sharkboy adds.
“Make the dream real,” Lavagirl says, taking her hand again. “And you can live out your dreams on Earth. Just like you made us real.”
“Make it real,” Sharkboy commands gently. “You can do it.”
“Blink three times,” Lavagirl murmurs, gently cupping Cady’s face in her hot hands. “One.”
Cady listens. “Wait, but-“
“Two,” Sharkboy says. Cady blinks again.
“Will I ever see you again?”
Lavagirl kisses her one more time before letting her go. “Three.”
Cady blinks.
——
When she opens her eyes, she’s back on Earth, huddled under her desk in the science room. The teacher is trying to gather everyone to head to shelter from the storm, with the help of Ms. Norbury.
Ms. Norbury lifts the desk off of Cady. “Cady, get up! There’s a tornado heading our way!”
Cady scrambles to her feet and dusts herself off. “It’s not a tornado!” She yells over the gusts of the wind. “It’s worse!”
“Regina, wake up,” Ms. Norbury commands, tapping Regina at her desk. Regina snaps awake and winces at the large puddle of drool coating her desk. Gross.
Cady leads them to the gaping hole in the wall, created by Sharkboy and Lavagirl. That was a mere moment ago, but it feels like years. “Look!”
The tornado barreling towards them suddenly begins sparking, and Neverbury emerges from the cyclone before it dissipates into a simple thunderstorm.
“It’s Ms. Neverbury, from planet Drool! The one from my dreams!” Cady explains.
Ms. Norbury and the science teacher both look at it in confusion. “You mean… this is real? Your dreams are real?”
“Some dreams are so powerful they become real,” Cady says.
“I don’t believe it,” Ms. Norbury says.
“It’s literally right there!” Cady yells.
“No, yeah, I can see that!” Norbury replies. “What I can’t believe is… you dreamt me! As a big, round bad guy!”
“Sorry!” Cady says. “Kinda took on a life of its own!”
Ms. Norbury sighs before turning to the class, watching in horror as the storms grow again and Neverbury looms ominously just outside.
“Okay class, we’re just teachers,” Cady’s science teacher says. “And we are here to inspire the answers in you! And there’s some damn good inspiration outside. So, this is now a pop quiz. We need to defeat that lady! Any ideas?!”
Regina raises her hand, surprising everyone.
“Wow, Regina. Yes?”
“I can take her,” Regina says boldly, running outside.
“No, you can’t!” Cady yells, grabbing her hand and pulling her back in. “Not by yourself. We need another idea.”
“No dumb ideas, come on,” Ms. Norbury says.
“Maybe we can freeze her circuits,” Regina suggests.
“That’s literally the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard,” Ms. Norbury replies. “We’re in Illinois in August. Next?”
“No, that might work!” Cady says. “Regina, where are your friends?”
“Gretchen and Karen?”
“Yeah, where are they?”
“Uh… English, I think?” Regina says with a shrug.
“Then come on!” Cady yells, grabbing her hand and hauling her out the door. The English wing is on the other side of the school.
“I am in heels!” Regina yells.
“Take them off, then! This is kind of an emergency!” Cady yells back, breaking ahead. Regina pauses to snatch her shoes off before barreling after her.
The teacher looks up in shock as a very disheveled Cady and Regina suddenly slam the door open. Cady points at them and pants, “We need… Gretchen and… and Karen.”
They already seem to have known this was coming, and stand to join them. Regina says, “Take off your shoes now, save yourselves. Just come on.”
When they make it back to the science room, Cady reaches into her pocket.
“Those jeans are horrific, by the way,” Regina says. Cady waves her off as she pulls out the crystal heart.
“Is this yours?” Cady asks, holding it up to show Gretchen and Karen. They both look at it and each other in shock.
“I’ve only seen it in my dreams,” Karen says quietly, gently running a finger over it.
“Me too,” Gretchen murmurs.
“It can freeze anything,” Cady murmurs, looping it gently around their intertwined hands and fastening it.
“Even time,” they both say at the same time before looking at each other with a small smile.
“Let them out,” Cady commands. Everyone parts like the Red Sea to make way for them to get outside. “Do you know what to do?”
“Yes,” they say. “Stand back.”
Cady watches with a smile as they approach Neverbury casually and each hold up a hand. They still hold each other with one, and fire a beam of ice at Neverbury with the other. Neverbury freezes solid, and then shatters. Snow begins to fall around them.
Everyone cheers and runs outside to play in the magical snow, except for Cady.
“You’ve made me a great teacher today, Cady,” Ms. Norbury says.
“How did I do that?” Cady asks. “I punched a hole in the school.”
“A good teacher learns as much from her students as they learn from her,” Ms. Norbury explains. “You’ve awakened something in me. That being said, I’m going to start looking into a different career.”
“I don’t blame you,” Cady chuckles, before Ms. Norbury pushes her outside to join her peers. Cady heads out aimlessly, not really knowing who to join. Until she sees Sharkboy and Lavagirl standing with her parents. “Sharkboy! Lavagirl!”
“Hey!” They both say. Lavagirl catches Cady as she barrels into her and slams their lips together.
“Oh, um…” Cady says sheepishly when they break apart. “Mom, Dad, I’m bi.”
“After today, we’re just glad you’re alive,” her dad chuckles, ruffling her hair. Cady throws her arms around both of them, and smiles as they squeeze her tightly. They feel like a family for the first time in years.
—————-
epilogue
“The following story is true,” Cady begins. “It may have began as a dream, but as we all saw last month, when you let your dreams become reality, reality becomes a dream.
“Sharkboy and Lavagirl both live here now. Sharkboy rules the ocean as king, and is searching for his mother. He says his instincts tell him he’s getting closer every second, so he’ll find her soon. And Lavagirl lives with me. We just have to keep the heat on max.”
That gets a chuckle from everyone.
“She gets to live her dream too, don’t worry. She rules all of Earth’s volcanos, a source of light and life for all of us. Just from a distance. So… so she can be with me. My advice to you all is… dream your best dreams. Then work to make them real.”
The end.
---
hope you enjoyed!
I'm sorry it wasn't the most romantic, but i did my best to make it fit with the story. we'll be back on earth next week :))
thanks for reading!
lots of love,
ezzy
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fenth-eiria · 3 years
Text
Incorrect quotes : Sifan family edition
Fenth: I am in charge of this disaster!
Eiria: I have a name, you know.
Eiria: *Answers phone.* Hello?
Fenth: It's Fenth.
Eiria: What did they do this time?
Fenth: No, it's me, Eiria. It's actually me.
Eiria: What did you do this time?
The Librarian: You disgust me.
Elder Cadia : *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.
The Librarian: Elder Cadia , we tried things your way.
Elder Cadia : No, we didn't.
The Librarian: I did it in my head and it didn't work.
Elder Cadia : Damn, the power went out.
The Librarian: Don’t worry, I got this.
The Librarian: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*
Elder Cadia : What-?
The Librarian: I swallowed a glow stick!
Elder Cadia , on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-
The Librarian: Sleep is the body’s best safety mechanism.
Elder Cadia : How so?
The Librarian: It keeps you from screwing up for 8 hours.
The Librarian: Elder Cadia likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.
The Librarian: I’m quick at math.
Elder Cadia : Ok, what’s 38 times 76?
The Librarian: 24.
Elder Cadia : That wasn’t even close.
The Librarian: But it was quick.
Elder Cadia : I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.
The Librarian: Mine just says "The Librarian no."
Elder Cadia : I want you to apply it to every possible situation.
The Librarian: Can you keep a secret?
Elder Cadia : Well, I'm good until I meet the next person.
Eiria: I could kill you if I wanted.
Onica: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.
Onica: What? I'm not aggressive!
Eiria: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips?
Onica: Survival of the fittest, bitch.
Kidnapper: We have your child
Eiria: I don’t have a child?
Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich?
Eiria: Oh god, you have my sister..
Eiria: You remind me of the ocean.
Onica: Because I'm deep and mysterious?
Eiria: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.
Elder Cadia: Just be yourself. Say something nice.
Fenth: Which one? I can't do both.
Fenth: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.
Elder Cadia : Those are wanted posters!
Fenth: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?
Elder Cadia , sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.
Fenth: You want some leftovers?
Dot: What are those?
Fenth: You've never had leftovers before?
Dot: No, ‘cause I’m not a quitter.
Dot: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*
Fenth: What did you do?!
Dot: NOBODY DIED!
Fenth: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Dot: I can never give Fenth shit because I’m jealous of them. They look at their life and say, “Sweet! This is perfect!”
Dot: I look at my life and say, “Welp. Time to get drunk.”
Dot: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium*
Fenth: , what did you think a tiger shark was?
Eiria: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
Fenth: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
Eiria: Yes.
Fenth: I'd sleep.
Eiria: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.
Fenth: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.
Eiria: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
Fenth: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
Eiria: But you’re always acting stupid?
Fenth: ...
Fenth: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.
The Librarian: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.
Elder Cadia : Marry me.
The Librarian: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...
Elder Cadia : Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.
Elder Cadia : Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing.
The Librarian: Are you a software update? because not right now.
Elder Cadia : Fuck you.
The Librarian: No u.
Elder Cadia : I'm down.
The Librarian: You're like 2, what the fuck-
Elder Cadia : I AM NOT 2!
The Librarian: Is something burning?
Elder Cadia , leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.
The Librarian: Elder Cadia , the toaster is literally on fire.
The Librarian: Are you sure Elder Cadia 's even gay? They barely even looked at me.
Elder Cadia : This date is boring!
The Librarian: This isnt a date. I said I was going to the store.
Elder Cadia : Then why did you invite me?
The Librarian: I didnt, I specifically said "dont come with me" then you said " fuck you The Librarian I'll do whatever I want!
Elder Cadia : Go fuck yourself.
The Librarian, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch
Elder Cadia : Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?
The Librarian: Aww-
Elder Cadia : With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!
The Librarian: Bro, I had a dream we fucked.
Elder Cadia : Bro, relax it was just a dream.
The Librarian: Huh, gay, I wouldn’t fuck you.
Elder Cadia : You wouldn’t?
The Librarian: I mean, unless you want to-
Elder Cadia : Are you ready to commit?
The Librarian: Like, a crime or a relationship?
The Librarian: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?
Elder Cadia : ...Have you never taken a shower before?
The Librarian: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
Elder Cadia : I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
The Librarian: But you’re always acting stupid?
Elder Cadia : ...
Elder Cadia : Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.
The Librarian: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Elder Cadia : I wrote you a poem.
The Librarian, already crying: You did?
The Librarian: Are we fighting or flirting?
Elder Cadia : I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-
The Librarian: Your point?
Elder Cadia : Did you know you remind me of all 26 letters of the alphabet?
The Librarian: What? Like J F K W S Q X-
Elder Cadia : No, like, U R A Q T.
The Librarian: Awwww!
The Librarian: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.
Elder Cadia : Aren't you forgetting something?
The Librarian: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Elder Cadia 's forehead before running out.*
Elder Cadia : No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?
The Librarian: Relationships should be 50/50. Elder Cadia cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.
Elder Cadia : I like your new pants!
The Librarian: Thanks, they were 50% off!
Elder Cadia : I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*
The Librarian: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.
Elder Cadia : Thats’s… not what I meant.
The Librarian: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Elder Cadia .
Elder Cadia : Know why I called you in here?
The Librarian: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.
Elder Cadia : *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?
Elder Cadia : I’m in love with you.
The Librarian: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Elder Cadia : I know.
The Librarian: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-
The Librarian: We have a problem.
Elder Cadia : No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.
Elder Cadia : Did it hurt when you fell-
The Librarian: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-
Elder Cadia : No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.
The Librarian: ...
Elder Cadia : You just laid there for 15 minutes.
The Librarian: *angrily presses Elder Cadia against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!
Elder Cadia : ...
Elder Cadia : Are we about to kiss-
Elder Cadia : Look, last night was a mistake.
The Librarian: A sexy mistake.
Elder Cadia : No, just a regular mistake.
Elder Cadia : I love you.
The Librarian, not paying attention: What was that?
Elder Cadia : I said I’m selling you to the zOo-
Elder Cadia : I love you.
The Librarian, not paying attention: What was that?
Elder Cadia : I said I’m selling you to the zOo-
The Librarian: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Elder Cadia : But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
The Librarian: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Elder Cadia : Is it working?
Elder Cadia : Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
The Librarian: Okay.
Elder Cadia : And make out during the scary parts.
The Librarian: Th-
The Librarian: The scary parts.
The Librarian: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
The Librarian: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
Elder Cadia : Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
The Librarian: Yes.
Elder Cadia : I'd sleep.
*The Librarian and Elder Cadia are in Paris.*
The Librarian: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?
Elder Cadia : But...
The Librarian: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...
Elder Cadia : This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?
The Librarian: Yeah.
Elder Cadia : But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.
The Librarian: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.
Elder Cadia : Okay, alright.
The Librarian: Wow, Elder Cadia , you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.
Elder Cadia : We literally slept together yesterday.
The Librarian: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.
Elder Cadia : Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.
The Librarian: Hi, I’m ‘things’.
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jjmaybankx · 4 years
Text
hank you for tagging me @spilledtee @jjouterbanks @kiarasflowr
what’s your favorite… tag game
there aren’t really any rules to this. tag as many people as you want
what’s your favorite
color — teal blue/dusty blue/dusty pink/coffee tones. these are my colors, practically live in just these LOL.
flower  —  white (or any color really) roses or forget-me-nots. i’ve always been a flower type girl, i like to hang them upside down and let them dry so i can keep them.
film — sharkboy & lavagirl or perks of being a wallflower. this one was hard but sharkboy & lavagirl was my favorite thing growing up, but perks spoke to me on a different level
candy — sour straws or any kind of chocolate.
memory — my debut. it was emotional for me to see the amount of people who came, who found specific outfits to be in my court, the family members i haven’t spoken to in forever who showed up to help set up/cook/bake. and it made my heart melt that the person who was my escort said yes to me asking him despite the fact he and my dad never saw eye-to-eye (they knew each other for years before i met him, they worked at the same place, he’s still in college so not that big a deal) but he did it for me, put up with it for me, tried helping me plan it. i wouldn’t say he necessarily hated my dad... but there was strong feelings there LOL
song — sorry for writing all the songs about you by maisie peters. this song inspired me to write my first original book/novel, Museum of Us. it was loosely based on my first love/heartbreak and in the last few chapters there’s a line where the main character (me) said, “sorry for writing all the books about you” in honor of this song.
book — Perks/The Heartbreakers Chronicles by Ali Novak, anything by Jenny han, she is my idol, or Love & Gelato and it’s sequel by jenna evans welch. oof i read so much! i’m basically my friend’s library AHA. but these books are the ones that i always think about in the back of my head. the summer i turned pretty trilogy was astounding, love & gelato was so good i read it in one sitting, perks reminds me of another life i once had, and the heartbreakers book one is one of the first books i truly fell in love with when i was in middle school.
physical trait — my skin. it’s a... love hate favorite trait?? i have eczema that’s kinda pretty bad, i have a lot of creams for it, have to see a dermatologist, and basically, my skin gets upset with every little thing... but there’s a few days a week when my skin is perfectly hydrated and it’s clear as f u c k and i absolutely love it. even with the eczema, i love it.
emotional/personality trait — savior complex. despite the constant “you can’t save everyone” by my family and friends, i always try. A savior complex is defined as, “A psychological construct which makes a person feel the need to save other people. This person has a strong tendency to seek people who desperately need help and to assist them, often sacrificing their own needs for these people.” I to tend to absorb the problems of people around me, and it used to be a really toxic thing for me personally because it was draining, and because of this complex, i would never know when to walk away from a friendship where the other just takes. and since i had this complex, i practically attracted troubled people because i wanted to be people’s crutch or helping hand, their shoulder to lean on. it took me 16ish/17 years to find friends that were healthy for me and to cut off people who didn’t bring me emotional peace. i used to walk to this one friend of mine’s house with warm coffee and spaghetti when she was going thru a breakup, and then when i was going through things she’d talk crap about me to our other “friends” saying i won’t shut the fuck about my problems. despite this, this is my favorite trait because i know i’m a good person, and the people who truly do care about me notice that i am always trying to fix other people, and it’s helped me learn more about myself than anything. i wouldn’t trade this construct of mine for anything else because i’m fine being the giver. i’m also very empathic so it weighs heavy on me.
thing to do when your sad — Listen to music, watch youtube edits, write. i throw myself into projects when my heart hurts
outdoor activity — hiking or going to the beach. sadly, despite being a california girl, we don’t do much surfing in the bay because our waters aren’t safe, but i’ve always wanted to learn since i love the beach.
place you’ve been — eureka, california. it’s a very small town up north, and it was my escape from reality when i’d go up with family to just relax. my aunt thinks it’s more the thought of an escape rather than the place, but i loved waking up and walking to a coffee shop down the street, i loved going to the beach, going on hikes. it was a great contrast from the busy city life i live, and made me realize i loved small towns even if i’m a bay area girl at heart.
tags: @shawnssongs @pankows-girl @captainpogue
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jamescarstairz · 7 years
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I'm glad our Sharkboy and Lavagirl headcanons have your seal of approval! Your snow actually does sound annoying, I think I'll stick with rain. I went to London around this time in 2016, and with the rain and cold it was basically the same weather as my home weather, so I was like man, I could live here!!! Cold whomst ??? That is honestly Quite a time difference, it's 18:00 for me lol. What show would you watch, and would it be worth it? Sleep is /kinda/ important idk... -spoiler anon
also i'd like to add that i love the fact that getting an ask from me made you smile, because your responses make me smile and im kinda glad you ruined my life with that edit spoiler (neverlettingitgo) bc i never woulda sent you any of these asks otherwise 😊 aaaanyway im gonna wait until we're like.... almost sorta friends.... and then mayhaps...... i will Reveal My Identity........ -spoiler anon
90% of the time the weather is rain and grey skies seeing the sun is a miracle like we brits see one (1) ray of sunshine and even if its -2 will get out the shorts and sunglasses. i was walking home in the snow a few weeks ago and the sun decided to come out and i saw this guy in shorts and a t shirt like??? put a coat on????? 
time differences are the bane of my existence tbh like it’s 01:45am but it’s still pretty early for most of my friends rip. I was going to keep watching haikuu!! cause the episodes aren’t super long but i know if i start i wont stop cause it’s so good so i’ve just been sat here listening to seventeen instead lmao. also sleep? idk her
((was that you low-key forgiving me for spoiling you))  also we are friends nonnie!! ive said it so many times before all anyone has to do to be my friend is talk to me and you’ve done that!! honestly i feel you should tell me who you are before this turns into a simon/bram situation js....
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