#ee that was so interesting i didnt think it would be so much fun to dive into the color that represents almost everything that reiner is not

[oxygenbefore1775]

Hi! For start congrats on the milestone 💞

So for the color analysis event that got me intrigued I'm picking Reiner ofc. And the color I'm picking for me would be light purple if that's good and wasn't submitted yet 🤧💜

thanks so much for the kind words Mai <3

Reiner Braun

It's certainly an interesting choice since purple on the opposite spectrum to yellow - Reiner's "official" color and also the color that I myself assigned him. So, suffice to say, this would be interesting to dive into.

One of the distinctive features of the color purple lies in its composition, being a fusion of two colors - red and blue. This symbolic blend mirrors Reiner's dichotomy as both a Paradis soldier and a Marleyan warrior. But unlike the harmonious combination represented by purple, Reiner has always grappled with the challenge of assigning himself to either of the roles bestowed upon him.

Purple is also symbolic of mystery and the unknown. While this aspect doesn't directly align with Reiner's overarching narrative, it does coincide with the period between seasons two and three when his motivations became pretty much a mystery, sparking discussions and speculation.

Purple, historically associated with power as it was originally worn by monarchs, reflects an interesting facet of Reiner's character. On one hand, it aligns with his influential role in the RBA group (being its leader), where his decisions catalyzed major plot events such as the Fall of Shiganshina and Clash of Titans. Yet, this symbolism takes on a painfully ironic undertone in Reiner's life. Not only was his entire existence dictated by those in power, but even his installment as the Armored Titan resulted not from his efforts but from the influence of another person.

With this said, it only goes downhill, as nearly all the purple symbolism serves to underscore the ironic tone of Reiner's character rather than aligning with any of his other traits.

Take, for example, the connotation of innovation associated with the color purple - it truly drives the point across (and is my favourite to talk about). Purple, commonly linked to knowledge (hence Hange's "official" color), can also symbolize innovation, a product of intellectual work. However, innovation is precisely what Reiner is not, as demonstrated by the vulnerabilities of his Armored Titan to recent inventions - such as Thunder Spears (again, Hange's creation) during the Return to Shiganshina and the new anti-Titan artillery at the battle of Fort Slava. Innovation is simply not a defining trait for Reiner in the context of the color purple - on the contrary, it contradicts his character.

Another facet of the color purple is its fantastical quality, fostering the imagination. But in Reiner's case, not only it is ironic but also tragic, considering his initial motivation of becoming a Marleyan Warrior. Erroneously hoping that gaining a Titan would improve his family situation, Reiner imagined a future where his father could live with them, reuniting the family. However, this dream shattered when his father rejected him, leaving Reiner disillusioned. Another dream that met a similar fate was his aspiration to become a great Warrior after successfully completing the mission on the Island and earning himself a hero status. Evidently, this ambition never materialized, reinforcing the theme of disillusionment in Reiner's story. In this sense, the color purple only amplifies the mockery of magical and fantastical elements it brings for Reiner's story.

But the suggested color for Reiner is light purple - meaning, it has white added to it. While the color white may not significantly contribute to the conversation about Reiner's character, one prominent meaning associated with this color is that of a new beginning and the ability to start over. White, often seen as a plain canvas for other colors, symbolizes a clean slate. Although not directly indicative of Reiner's personality, it does represent his narrative progression of perception - initially viewed as an older brother figure, then thrust into an antagonistic role, and ultimately reinstated in a positive light, earning the role of a character worth rooting for.

All in all, the symbolism of purple doesn't directly play into the nuances of Reiner's character. If anything, it downplays and mocks the elements that are indicative of Reiner which is also interesting to see. It may not be Reiner's color but it could well be its antithesis, considering that purple is the direct opposite of color yellow (the color I believe to be Reiner's "official") which is a delight to see.

[ultimatestellar]

Mikuuuuuuu eheehee

send me a character!!

miku miku oo ee oo. in my attempt to find more interests ive been getting really into vocaloid lately so good timing!!

favorite thing about them:

miku sounds!! so!! good!!! theres a reason shes cryptons mascot vocaloid. honestly if you can tune her well it can end up a masterpiece. and also just how much people care about her. the best thing about vocaloid is how much our favorite producers and really just the fanbase cares and makes us love these characters!! vocaloid as a concept comes down to what the community makes of it and the community has made me love miku.

also she pretty

least favorite thing about them:

please..... let me like more then 2 characters with canon personalities...... i can only make so many headcanons...........

eh who am i kidding i can always make more headcanons. but it is kinda annoying having every iteration of her be different (even if that is the whole point). but as long as i brush it off as “oh its just them performing” im cool with it :))

favorite line:

oh fuck i have to choose?? i dont have a list of miku quotes what am i supposed to say?? honestly you can choose a random wowaka song and id say youre right.

pinnochiop has some really good lines too but they arent as impactful and more just a mood.

brOTP:

her and len. her and len. her and len. or her and kaito but mostly her and len because those two can and will vibe check you

OTP:

mikurin!! because i found out the age difference between her and luka and went “oh shit i didnt realize i was supporting this” and went to find a new ship. turns out mikurin is canon in the project diva universe!! point being i got sucked in very quickly and these two are just so cute together,,,

nOTP:

shipping her with meiko. i just see meiko as an adult and miku is quite literally my age so i guess makes sense?? idk i have vocaloid ships that i hate much more cough cough rin x len cough so i cant hate on anything else too much.

random headcanon:

miku loves sweaters. she never gets to wear them because crypton is like YOU MAY ONLY WEAR REVEALING OUTFITS SO PEOPLE BUY YOUR MERCH but when she gets any free time she will immediately get an oversized sweater and just vibe. maybe with a movie playing. and popcorn. and rin. and rin and her start throwing popcorn at eachother during a really serious scene and ruin the movie but its okay cause they had fun which is what really matters to them and—

i guess a bonus one: since theyre androids they cant experience a lot of the stuff theyre singing about (darker stuff like losing a loved one or something as simple as food) so miku especially will look at the lyrics and try VERY HARD to imagine what all this would actually feel like. being virtual has its downsides yall!!

unpopular opinion:

other vocaloids deserve more attention, but that doesnt mean miku is overrated!! shes good and deserves the hype and just because others do as well but dont get it doesnt mean she shouldnt have it either.

song i associate with them:

...really?

ill just list off the best miku songs i can think of.

to start us off, rolling girl. because of course https://youtu.be/NIqm73xsias

white happy. this has been one of my favorite vocaloid songs for ages. i dont know if thisll just sound like im trying to be edgy or whatever but i really do feel like this is how i view the world but written out in all its optimistic nihilism glory and i LOVE IT. it even has my self worth issues down!! wow look at that this song is all of my problems wrapped up in a happy little tune!!! https://youtu.be/k_WT2x9we0Q okay maybe this one is my favorite

whats inside. as said before pinnochiops songs are all just honest and as a result this song especially is just a mood. https://youtu.be/GSpwTvYgFrM

liar dance!! i just think it sounds good. i couldnt find a good english sub but its probably written on the wiki https://youtu.be/FOvfM0fe-FE

world is mine. i dont have to explain this one. https://youtu.be/KMHXgUr7gYM

favorite picture of them:

no way am i going to try and pick ONE miku module when so many of them are equally pretty, so instead heres a picture of her i use as a reaction image sometimes!!

and thats it!!

thanks for sending an ask ninashiki, u the best ;))

[eltonjohndenver]

one-fucking-thousand

what the fuck

a breifing to anyone who doesnt know what is about to happen: i made a post saying that if that post got 50 notes at 1000 followers i would post my old legolas fan fic i wrote when i was 10. the post got almost 200 notes in 3 days. fuck you. the time is nigh

links to the saga 🧝🏼‍♂️ 🌿 🏹

ok so i hate to disappoint but i never got to the real action in this because i was lazy back in ol’ 2014. anyway the synopsis:

Cast [who they were based on kill me sdjkhsjdh]: 

Eythriel, legolas’s cousin *barf* *kill me* [my old elf fursona]

Illeyis, the sister?? [my friend]

Indius, the grandma [my friend when she would do an old lady voice]

Scarpella, not sure a friend?? [my other hobbit friend]

Haldir, yep him. oh god he was supposed to become the love interest

Migan, i think eythriel’s brother???

the plot: 

living deep in mirkwood forest, the author’s self-projected angsty elfsona Eythriel wants something more out of life. That comes in the form of a horrendously worded spider fight scene where she meets mysterious haldir who i guess lives in mirkwood now. He recruits her for the elf army but her stupid family wont let her! >:( ! so she has to decide between family and ???

brought to you by regret and shame

note: i copied this DIRECTLY from the pages doc it was in so i didnt change anything dhjfsgjh and yes it is titled ‘lol’ but i mean it was LITERALLY titled ‘fan fiction” so i mean which is better . have fun getting a stroke from reading the lack of spaces after commas

ill-ee-iss

ith-r-eye-ell

mee-gan

in-dee-us

Lol

By Me

CHAPTER ONE

"Oh come on, I almost shot it!"yelled Eythriel Fernwood as she opened the door to her house in Mirkwood forest."What in the name of Thranduil are you talking about!?"Her grandmother Indíus said. "I almost shot a deer but someone had to sneeze!"glaring at her sister Ilyeis." come on Eythriel ,I can't help it!"Yelled Ilyeis. "Avo Bedo!"Spoke Eythriel just before she slammed the door to her chamber ."don't worry Ilyeis she'l forget soon enough,now help your old grandmother chop these mushrooms!"

Infuriated Ilyeis threw her dagger into the floor and kicked off her boots,"fine I'll help".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eythriel heard a knock on her door "go away Ilyeis "she grumbled

"it's just me Eythriel "came her (half?)brothers voice

"what do you want Mígân!?"she said angrily."A messenger bird came today,her brother replied "it's from Scarpella ."

there was silence, then he heard footsteps and the door unlatching.

"give me the letter."she demanded.He handed it to her. She looked at him suspiciously "you didn't read it ,did you?""no......why are you going to Thranduil’s?"he questioned with a mischievous grin on his face"you stupid fool!"she said in a harsh wisper

"yes."

"thank you Mígân."she said as she shut the door and locked it,She broke open the seal and read:

"Dear Eythriel,

I have told Lord Thranduil

about your offer, we need

as many elves as possible

but he says you must be here

in no more than three moons,

leave at midnight tonight.

We will be awaiting your arrival.

Sincerely, Haldir of Brethil,court of Thranduil "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THREE DAYS EARLIER

eythriel trudged through the forest with a cloak to keep away the rain. Mígân could have gone and Eythriel could be at home sitting in front of a warm fire,but she wanted to eat before the next century,just put it this way,Mígân isn't the most graceful elf in Mirkwood. anyway she was wishing she was at home when she saw a party of elves fighting a group of (giant spid-E).Suddenly she forgot the wet and cold of Mirkwood, for being an elf she could not resist a fight.she swooped in start with her sword and shooting with her bow.such skill is only possessed by an elf.as she fought the last spider she felt eyes on her back.when the spider was dead,she looked at the other elves her face hidden in the shadow of her hood.The other elves smile,happy the fight is over.The largest of the three elves steps forward and introduces himself.”I am Haldír of Brethil,court of Thranduil,to who did we have the pleasure of fighting with?”Eythriel doesn’t respond

Haldír reaches out and

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eythriel crept out of her bedroom and opened the front door and ran out into the night .

She felt the cold autumn air on her cheeks,"this is what it feels like to be free!"she thought  suddenly an arrow flew right past her head. So close that the fletching cut her face near her cheek bone.with extreme speed and skill,she turned,her bow drawn and ready to lose an arrow. But much to her relief she saw the beautiful elvish face of Scarpella.

CHAPTER 2

"Scarpella!"she cried "thank goodness it's you!"she smiled at Scarpella then flinched and touched the place where the arrow cut her face. There was no blood,for it is not easy to make an elf bleed. "Did I hurt you?!"Scarpella exclaimed,her voice full of concern."im fine"Eythriel replied.At that moment a small beam of sunlight crept through the tall ancient trees."is that the time already?!"Eythriel said"well,we'd better be on our way!"

~~~~~~~

Indíus had followed Eythriel. She was worried this day would come. Eythriel was like a daughter to her since her parents left.since her own son left for Thranduil's Court and died in battle,she didn't want the same fate to befall Eythriel.

The sight of the two girls calmed her slightly,at least Eythriel wasn't alone. She thought.

Still she followed them closely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ileyis woke with a start. Her dreams had recently become strange,she new there was a meaning,all elf dreams have one in some way or another. She could hear Mígân snoring from his chamber. "Stop it Mígân!"she groaned. She out of bed and went into the hallway to make him stop. She was just about to force open his door when she noticed something odd,Eythriel's door was slightly open. Curiously she glided over and peeked inside,horror overcame her,Eythriel was gone.

(~~~~?)

She ran frantically to indíus' room,only to find it empty as well. Her sister and grandmother were gone!She cried out shocked. Mígân and Kiele her other(half?) brother."What is it?!"they asked concerned"(gramma-e)and Eythriel are gone!"

but for real thank you to all of my main hoes (lotr or otherwise):

@verycorrectlotr @panpervinca @70sdeakylesbian @angelatwell @hatsoff-forgandalf @lothlxrien @harmless-hobbit @bronweathanharthad @boromirthedad @finwe-the-disappointed @jewishfemme and @ladylouoflothlorien who needed to be tagged so here you are

[gracedandelioninkmind]

Since it's pride month

For most of my time at school betweeb last september and febrary I had a crush on this girl. And you see Id been working through how feelings and sexuality work for me ever since the end of high school, because id been realizing that id never been actively interested in kissing or anything intimate with anyone. Id had plenty of what I call Sparks of Interests, where I just enjoyed looking at someone, talking to them, but more and in a different way than normally for friends. But all of those Interests were towards guys. I loved talling to my friends about guys and hypotheticals about them. I always envisioned myself in a man and woman couple and I loved that opposites pairing in every romance. But I wouldnt say that the ppssibility that I could be interested in girls hadnt crossed my mind. It didnt when I was little, and it didnt in middle school when I told girls that I didnt like boys, because they were stupid, and someoen asked if I was a lesbian. But in high school there was this awesome chick that transferred into our school. I woulsnt say I was overtly attracted to her, I certainly never had any fantasies about her, but I just thought she was so cool and I definitely wanted her to like me and to be friends eith her. Her twin brother was cool too. Oh oh and dont let me forget that one year I was apart of the schools journalism program and some of us were sitting around the classroom and I suddenly giggled at something I was reading, and this one nice tomboy girl was like omygod was that you that was the most adorable sound. I was so flustered, i will never forget that compliment.

But still i was straight. I fantasized about m/f relationships, not necessarily involving me because I cant often envision myself eith just anyone. I just think that romance is fascinating and enthralling and sometimes lots of things can be interesting.

And then I was reading a fanfic, and the girl was asexual, and Id been thinking about asexuality as an explanation for why I just didnt think i wanted to be sexual with anyone id ever met. But it didnt feel quite right because I know i mustve felt some attraction to some guys before, and definitely felt attraction to actors and such.

And then my friend gave me the term Gray Asexuality to research. Have you ever been putting together a puzzle and u put a piece in place, and it looks right and the picture doesnt seem to be wrong--but then you find another piece that looks so similar and you try it instead and it fits so much better, not loose or jammed. That was my feeling finding out that there was this complexity to sexuality and romance to explain why things just always feel so subtle for me. To explain why I can crave love but I really very often find that the very idea of kissing and sex is just awkward and weird to imagine for myself. It explained part of why my one week relationship fell through. Id had a crush on the guy since first meeting him at the start if the school year, and i had been so excited when he asked me out, and it was fun to hold hands and hug. But i hadnt wanted to kiss him, and it had bene so annoying when my friend told me i should kiss him, even just on the cheek. It just hadnt felt like there was a very big difference between my friendship with him and dating him.

So i got to thinking over all of my feelings towards all sorts of people. And if my sexuality and attraction was as rare and subdued as all that towards men, then I felt that maybe I hadnt wuite recognized any feelings id had towards girls.

And after discovering the asexual spectrum, i finally had some very interesting dreams, the likes of which id never had before turning 18 let me tell you. And they didnt only focus on men anymore.

And then i was in my second year at college, and i hadnt had many more dreams, and i hadnt found any real crushes my first year. But my second year i started working at the library, and one day this cute asian girl came through with a polite hello as she passed the front desk where i sat politely greeting everyone for my first week. I found myself memorizing her immediately. I would hope to catch her eye, catch a hello, a goodbye. I found myself glancing over to ehere she sat if she was in sight. And when she came to check out dvds i memorized her name immediately, all the more because id seen it on a study desk while doing rounds. See i hadnt knoem that if someone leaves something at their desk ee leave it alonenso id taken the open umbrella doem to the front desk and asked my coworkers and they said to put it back so i remembered the namr on the desk and returned it. So when i saw this cute girls name and recognized it from that desk, it almsot felt like fate. But that was silly. And i only thought she seemed nice and she was cute. That was all.

But then i was trying to capture her likeness on paper, ehich didnt go well those first few sketches because i hadnt gotten any good looks at her face. And after finding out her name I suddenly heard it cropping up elsewhere, and i was talking to my friends about her. My friends did not agree that i wasnt crushing. I insisted that i just wanted to get to know her was all. And then one day at lunch a new friend id made in class invited me to sit with her and her friends, and she mentioned an Eliza. Boy the anticipation, the excitement, the shy feelings, and the satisfaction when the very same girl sat with us.

Then that same friend invited me to a movie night at her dorm lounge with her friends, and when i asked who all would be there, anyone i know, she said maybe. I wondered to myself if She would be there. When i got into the dorm, lost and unfamiliar with the halls, waiting for my friend to come find me, I suddenly heard teo voices from upstairs. I knew one was my new friend, and with joy i recognized the other as Her. As it turned out She was the only other friend to join us. We 3 spent the night watching black panther and history of japan, getting to know each other, and I painted Her nails. It was different touching her hands then itd ever been with another girl. I found myself hoping for something. I hoped at least that she would like me as a person and wed be friends.

Every interaction after was a treasure for me. Moments we happened to be alone, when she offered to keep me company at lonely meals, when we had a big kdrama hangout and she did my hair, etc etc.

I had to acknowledge that it was crush of course. I told my closest friends about it.

And one day this crazy thing happened. I was sitting with Her and our friend and the two of us apart from Her were discussing dating apps and whatnot. And She asked why was i even concerned eith that stuff anyways. Id been thinking by then that she might be aspec because she never threw in her oen teo cents about interest in relationships whrn we discussed these things. I explained that i just wanted to try dating. I hadnt ever been on a real date.

While our friend was continuing with another topic, i heard Her say that She could take me on a date. My mind caught on it, but the topic had changed, and I felt that it couldnt have been serious. And so i gushed and whined about it to my friends. But the next day I brought it up as a joke with our group of friends, and she acknowledged that shed said it. Our friends supported it, because why not. Theres such a thing as a friendly joke date. I kind of messed it up i think though because when it was jsut us parting ways after brunch, she said she was going downtown, and i said That couldve been our date. And she agreed and invited me along. I wish id been dressed cuter. But it was fine, and it was a nice enough date, though i dont think she had any experience or interedt in how dates usually worked--it wasnt a serious date anyways, so i wouldnt get my hopes up. I wouldnt be invested. But wr passed a friend of hers, another cute girl maybe smaller than me, and She told her that we were on a date. That felt significant.

The next day i brought up that wed gone on the date to my group of friends, with Her sitting next to me. And she became so awkward, and after my friends congratulated us, she told me It wasnt a real date. On the outside i played it off casually saying Listen do you know how excited friends get about dates let me have this. On the inside i was so disappointed and heartbroken and a bit defensively angry with her. I announced to the table that she wasnt to make sure everyone knew it wasnt a real date. What i was really saying was hey friends she just crushed my heart.

But we were still friends. And after a while i got okay again. She hadnt even noticed anything had gone wrong.

At some point I told that first mutual friend about my crush on Her. Id been withholding eho my crush was on from her for a while and she hadnt even guessed Her. But when I told her she said everything made sense.

And then she set us up for a valentines day date. I couldnt believe it. She jsut randomly messaged me Would u want Her to be ur valentines date. And i was like Id appreciate any date tbh but yeah id like to go on a date with Her. And apparently She just agreed. I couldnt tell you why she did any of the things she did. But i can tell you that thru some conversations it became clear that my hypothesis was likely accurate. She didnt understand dates, she didnt see the difference beteren friend date and real date. This was just this nice outing with a friend. Part of me was okay with that, because i did simply enjoy Her. But another part of me felt unfulfilled and sad. But we had a nice date anyways. I learned even mroe about her and she made me this oittle clay blueberry because i would sometimes just pick out a blueberry at the dining hall and admire its beauty. It was a very nice date and i got to dress up cute for someone. I didnt let myself hope for much.

And then i was talking to more of our mutual friends about crushing on Her, and someone told me that shed asked Her out before and that her response had been something along the lines of not being interested like that. We all agreed that She likely just doesnt have any interest in romance or whatnot.

And so i began burying it away. My mourning period passed. She graduated, and its all over. My first ever crush on a non-man. It had been nice.

Btw her ringtone in my phone was Mindy Gledhill's I Do Adore.

[hagiographically]

Could you talk more about Stanford stereotypes regarding literally anything (idk majors?) bc they way how you explain them is literally so funny/good

lmao aw ily, you can always come to me if u want my opinion related to anything stanford (stereotypes about dorms, sports teams, greek life, a cappella ??) because i have A Lot Of It - i only wish i was more integrated with the school cuz most of my opinions are hearsay instead of personal experience

major stereotypes….hmm thats hard cuz there are So Many majors but i can just go with the most common ones and group some together, etc

engineering:

aero/astro - small department full of space nerds, most of them are in SSI, drones, i personally consider them very brainy and if i were better at engineering i would be aero/astro cuz i think it’s the next frontier. there should definitely be more women in it for sure

bioe - my ex was bioe, they’re a bunch of nerds but they have good enough hearts. they care about curing diseases and shit

CS - oh boy. ohhhhhh boy. here we fuckin go. honestly CS is barely even a sterotype at stanford cuz its such a dominant culture…..the people who decide what stereotypes even are, are probably CS. it’s gotten to the point where if i meet someone and they aren’t CS it’s worth noting. it’s gotten to the point where, in my psych/literature/communications/education classes, i expect the other people to be CS. i have so many Opinions on CS Boys because CS Boys are such!!!!a!!!type!!!! (and different from just, a boy who does CS). they worship the trinity of google, facebook, and microsoft. their junior summer internship is at least one of these. they buy into all silicon valley startup culture and they love elon musk and talk about venture capital when its really not welcome. they love talking about how much work they have and how little they sleep. all INTJs. probably virgos. there is also a subgenre of CS boy who didnt come into stanford wanting to do CS and ended up switching because its easier to be a CS Boy at stanford. they criticize the culture all the time. to this you can say, “it’s all right, craig, i know you just want to make money.”

CME - people major in this when they dont love themselves

design - i personally think this major is fuckin cool and considered it before i realized physics was a pre-req. the d school is thought to be d for douchey though because their whole shtick is so ~ideate~ ~prototype~ ~We Are Quirky and Put Post-Its On Walls~ but i dug it as a frosh. they can be kinda condescending, but theyre by far the most interdisciplinary dept in the engineering major (although its also full of white men who think theyre hot shit cuz they can use photoshop)

EE - again for people who lack self love, its supposed to be so fuckin hard

MS&E - white frat boys who glorify jordan belfort

ME - similar to design. live at the PRL. stay up till ungodly hours carving wood. somehow this is enjoyable. also white male heavy

who knows how the f to categorize this:

education - if i could do stanford over i would major in this. usually very diverse, woke, often come from underprivileged backgrounds so they want to make it better for other people and reach communities that arent currently benefited (unlike silicon valley or wall street :) ) i respect them because they do what they love and not to make $ although if educational engineering were a thing im certain people would jump ship. it’s also not in the humanities dept so i feel like theyre Above the stanford hegemony and i love that

earthsys - i considered a minor in this. usually sweet, earth-friendly people. white but woke. possibly queer. granola loving hippies and maybe some frathletes who want an “easy” major but not sure (im not shitting on easy majors. i have one. love ‘em)

generally i like girls in any of the engineering depts because they are dealing with sexism and doing it. the boys are oftentimes extremely self-congratulatory and will usually say something dumb about the humanities. even the girls will hit you with the “oh i wish i could study that!” about any non-engineering discipline, and it’s implied that what they’re really saying is “but i care about my future too much!” 

humanities/sciences:

AAAS/chicanx studies/asian-american studies/CSRE - woke poc who use lots of buzzwords and say things like folx

art - the people who major in art are usually more quiet than you’d think. we have an Artsy Type at stanf that are kind of extra (theta chi/EBF types, also very woke QPOC) but i dont think theyre art majors for the most part. i barely know any actual art Majors. lots of engineers just do art on the side

bio - i love bio majors because they are sciency but also get shit on by engineers so we’re in solidarity. they are sweet and study all the time and just wanna make the world a better place. there’s also the pre-med kind of bio who i would hate if i were also pre med but since im not i just kind of admire and fear them

chem - i like chem people much more than i thought i would. again a very small major and they just live in lab and have varied non chem interests. this year i accidentally became friends with like 6 people from the chem fraternity and i was surprised how much i liked them

complit/english - i was this major! english in creative writing are usually chill, interesting people. complit and english in literature…….it’s a shakespeare circlejerk and they hit you with the Discourse. overly educated white people. avoid the boys specifically but the girls can also be incredibly self-satisfied. maybe 50/50. but if you take a creative writing class instead of a lit class, the CW kids are usually awesome

taps - our drama department. they’re nice, but extra and intimidating. (also stanford theater is…..okay….not really as good as they seem to think it is yikes that was mean but) however, like with english, take an introductory class and you’ll meet very cool non-taps majors.

econ - oftentimes wonderful people! outside of class that is

femgen - same people as the AAAS/CSRE crowd except whiter. queer girls with undercuts. upperclassmen are intimidating to many. everyone shares their opinion even when its not warranted. my honors is in this

film studies - this was almost my minor and if i werent CW i might have doubled in film and comm! i dont know any film majors but if they arent a cole sprouse im sure theyre fine (they are probably a cole sprouse)

german/italian/french/spanish language or studies - spot the person who studied abroad!

history - like english, can be cool, more likely pretentious

humbio - the other premeds! actually humbio gets shit on alllll the time for being easy or having a fluff major, bio majors think they’re soft. thus, i like them. their course catalog is awesome and its a huge major but all the scary pre meds are straight up bio and humbios are softer but in a good way its a lot of sweet girls

intl relations - one of my favorite majors. usually very down to earth, the best of the IR/poli-sci/pub-po trinity. however, they can also be self-congratulatory for being So Woke and also they love to educate you when You Didn’t Ask

linguistics - weird, diverse people. very small major. similar to anthro, my old major. i love small majors they always have cute dinners together

MCS - a hard fuckin major. not as “Look How Smart I Am” as a bad CS. mostly quiet and stay in and study their ass off

math - love to wax poetic about the beauty of math. fun when drunk. not when sober

philosophy/MTL/classics - avoid. classics can be okay if it overlaps with archaeology because theyre just a bunch of nerds and they get really excited and its cute. phil majors would rather just educate you about how free will is fake and youre like tim can you please just get out of the way we’re in the dining hall and you’re blocking the cornbread

physics - Avoid. they think all other sciences are lesser. women and POC are ok

poli-sci - hit or miss. generally pretty friendly. very talkative. fun to talk to about Not Politics

psych - the best major hehe. generally liberal and woke and often queer. however, non-psych people in psych classes can be a nightmare (unlike english, taps, etc) and problematic as fuck. also sometimes psych majors are extra (exhibit a: me)

pub policy - probably in student government. im biased against it, but go in with hesitation. student government is by and large not as effective as they seem to think (however, a “woke” person in pub po might be cool because they will campaign for sexual assault awareness and economic diversity and good stuff)

STS - ohhhhh man. probably the major that gets most shit on at stanford. i think engineers think it’s fake. (humbio, design, and STS get shit on the most i’d say, because they are interdisciplinary STEM majors, so engineers think that they’re for people who arent smart enough to do hard majors. whereas with english or IR, engineers know they couldnt do it because they havent written an essay since 2009, so they offer grudging respect) a frathlete major. i personally like it because i dig interdisciplinary shit, but i don’t dig frat boys or athletes so i avoid. some of their courses are great but it does seem kind of scrapped together as a major and i dont know how people outside of stan see it

sociology - a small major, seems cool. stigmatized but not by stanford because stanford students dont know it exists. “dont you mean psychology?” no

urban studies - skaters? who knows. i respect them tho. i think they care about….like….architecture? and city development? its a very niche thing and i feel like it’s pretty hip n happening

[gwisingegooli]

so overall summary of my bars experience yesterday

+ repeat stuff from chat

so michaels friends r like hella white white

we came late from another dinner w de anza degen friends. dee, w ills mom, invited us and it was so we could congratulate each other?? like say one nice thing about each other. i think its also bc people were transferring or entering school so she wanted to celebrate that but it was a little awkward sometimes cause its kind of an awkward activity. michael had something to say about everyone. it was like oh god LOL when michael had to be like “well actually im not going to ucsb lolol” but everyone was cool about it

i think j u - stin is…….. so……….. like…… the things he does sometimes is just like… can you stop…….. hes a homie but he can be really self unaware and esp w like compliments… he doesnt know how to give or receive compliments. everything he said was like accidentally passive aggressive or like also rude while complimenting. i was like inwardly cringing so hard when he was telling w -i -ll that he was glad he came out of his shell bc when he first met him he was an angsty teenager who like didnt talk to anybody… and wil l was kinda like um wut and instead of justin even noticing that he wasnt giving a good compliment he like repeated the rude things he said to try to clarify them several times LOL and it was like how do i make this end… that was prob the most awkward “compliment” but he kept doing that in genera throughout the dinner

also in general i think w that group im not good at getting group attention so sometimes ill get ignored when i talk or like interrupted/someone will talk over me. and its not intentional and i dont mind but it can get kinda frustrating like HEY HELLO how do i butt into the conversation

i really like d ee, w il ls mom though. she is truly mom goals and a good role model LOL shes like smoked a bowl w us and says she trusts us w will and thats why she lets us stay super late at their house. and she def buys us way too much food 😭 moms r too good for this world

anyways so we went to meet mich aels friends to go the bars p late in downtown campbell. the area is so o o o o o white white people. hardcore reminded me of ithaca w the culture (dancing, people, outfits, vibe) the first bar was kind of a club, w hella loud music and shit. people were goin DOWN on the dance floor but i was jus like whoo

i was way too fuckin shy to dance or anything esp w michaels friends. i think i got ignored a little bit bc michaels friends werent rly good w introducing us to the other people, especially me -_-

it was jus kinda like talking and hangin out, forming different groups all the time

one girl s h a -nnon talked to me for like a straight coupla minutes about her tattoo and i was just glad i was having like a normal social experience so i was just like “oh wow!” and “thats so cool” and “i feel it” and “yeah for sure”

we moved bars and in line there was another girl who talked to me about like her toxic friend and her crazy sister and not being able to take shrooms. she seemed like she had a lot of shit going on all the time but she sort of just rolled her eyes at everything and i kinda liked her LOL

the other bar was a lot quieter and people could talk to each other. raymo-nd opened up about some intense shit he went through esp post breakup, his job, some life advice

mic hael caught up a lil bit w his los gatos friends who i got to meet after he talked about them so much! he like left me for a lil bit to go get drinks for them and they were like lowkey very uninterested in me esp since their other friends came so i kinda dipped to be w michael

afterwards we went to ta - ylors house. he had the cutest cat, misty. a ping pong ball fell and she started playing w it 💕💕

and also like saratoga boys r proactive and productive. r a-ymond was hungry af so he just started cooking immediately and some girl helped/flirted w him but i was so impressed. he cooked like 50 potatickers and then some orange chicken for everyone which was hella nice. and then he did the dishes later w ta -ylor. and near the end of the night ta-ylor and ra-y mond and maybe some other people just started cleaning up and i was like yis i love this. and i cleaned up after myself. that left a really strong positive impression on me.

michael and i also did a line of coke but coke is kind of whatever for me. it feels kinda like milder coffee w an emphasis on the restless. im down to keep trying some and maybe do a lot more than just one line and see if i like it a third time LOL

its not like all of the convos i had wasnt interesting but since i didnt rly have anything i wanted to talk about, i had a boyfriend, and im asian i felt like i diidnt rly have any input and couldnt rly take iniaitive in engaging people LOL

like what the fuck would i even talk about???? do you watch anime?? do you go to raves???? is my outfit weird???

i just hate feeling that uninteresting and like i left no impression and i especially didnt want to seem like the timid awkward asian girl -_- i think i was like fine and a normal person overall but ive never……… been that before in a group. like a normal quiet person. LOL

its not like it was bad, although sometimes there were boring lulls, and overall it was a good night but it wasnt exactly my crowd so it wasnt a lot of fun

i think if we had been there for pregaming it wouldve been a lot of fun bc i just like games :D i think we’re going again tonight and i think i can like try to look better, be less tired, dress more white, and overall feel more confident and do a lil better

[aonbharrs]

accordin to all known laws of aviation, theure is no wway a bee should be able to fly. its wings arre too small to get its fat little body off the grouond. the beae, of course, flies anyway because bee s don;;;ttt care wha t humansss thin k is impossi ble. yellow, black. yellow, black. yellow, black. yellow, black. ooh, bblack and yellow!!!! let;;s shake it up a little. bbarr y!!!! breakfast is ready!! ooming!! hang on a second. hello??? - barry????? - adam??? - oan ubelieve this is happening???? - i can;;t. i;;ll pick uup. lookinsharp. use the stairs. your father paid good money for those. sorry. i;;m excited. here;s the graduate. we; re very proud of you, son. a perfect rep orttt card, all b;;s. very proud. ma!!!! i got a thingoinhere. - ugo t liint on your fuzz. - ow!! that;;s me!!!!!! - wave to us!!!! weull be in row 118,000. - bye!!!! barr y, i told you, stop flyinin the house!! - heoy , ad am. - hey, barry. - is tthat fuzz gel???? - a little. special day, graduation. never thought i;d make it. thr ee days grade school, thre e days high school. those were awkward. three days college. i;;;m glad i took a day and hhitchhiked around tt he hive. udid c ome back different. - hi, barry. - artie, growina mustaache???? looksss good. - h ear about frankie????? - yeah. - ugointo the funeral???? - no, i;;m not going. everybody k nows, stinsome one, udie. don;;t waste iit on a squirrreul. such a hothead. i gues s he couo ld have jus t gotten out of the way. i looveo this incorporating an amuss ement park into our day. th at;s why we donnt need vvacaations. boy, quite a bit of pppomp... under the circums tancces. - well, adam, toda y we are men. - w e areu!!!! - beee -men. - amen!!!!! hallelujah!! students, faculty, distinguished bees, pls welcome dean buzzwell. welcome, new h ive oity graduatinclass of... .. .9:15. tthat concludes our ceremonies. and begins your career at h onex industries!!!!! will we pick ourrrjobbb today????? i heard it;;s just orientation. heads up!!!!! here we go. keeap your handss and antennas inside the tram at aullll times. - won der what it;ll b e like????? - a l ittle scary. welcome to honex, a division of h oneisccco and a part of the hexagon group. this is it!! wow. wow. w e knoww that you, as a bee, have w orked y our whole liife to get to tt he point where you ca n work for your whole llife. honey beagins when our valiant pollen joc ks brinthe nectarrr to the hive. our top-se cret formula is automatically color-co rrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this sootthin sweet syrup with its diistttinctive golden glllow uknow as... honey!!! - that gi rl was hot. - she;s mmy cousin!!!! - she is??? - yes, we;;reu all cc ousinnns . - rigght. you;;;re right. - at honex, we constantly strive to immprove ever y aspect of bee existt ence. these bees are stress-testing a new helm et technology. - what do uthink he makes???? - not enough. here we h ave our latest advaance me nt, th e krelman. - whhhaet doies t hat do????? - oatches that litt le strand of honey that haangs after upour it. saveis us millions. oan anyone woark on the kreolman??? of course. most bee jobs are small on es. buat bees know that every small job, if it;;s done well, means a lot. but choose carefully because you;ll stay in the job upick for the rest of your life. the same job the rest of your life????? i didnt know that. what;s the difference????? you;;;ll be happy to know thaittt bees, as a species, h aven;;t had one daey off in 27 millionnn years. so youu;;ll juist work us to deattth???? wee;;ll sure try . wow!!!! that blew my mind!!!!! "what;;s the difference?????" h ow can us ay thhat???? one job forever????? that;;s an iansane choice to have to make. i;;m relieved. now we only have to make one decision in life. bu t, adam, how co uld they never have told us that???? why would uquestion anything??? we;re bees. we;re th e most perfectly funcctioninsociety on earth. ueaver think maybe things work a little too well here??? like what??? give me one example. idk but uknow what i;m talkinabout. plsclear the gate. royal nectar force on approach. wait a second. oheck it o ut. - hey, thhhose are pollen jocks!!! - wow. i;ve never seen them this close. they know what it;;;s like o utside the hive. yeah, but some don;;;t come back. - hey, j ocks!!! - hi, jocks!!! uguiys d id great!!!! you;;re monst ers!!!!! you;re sky freaks!!! i loive it!!! i love it!! - i wondeir where theoy were. - idk their days not p lanned. outside the hive, flyinwho knows wherea, doinwho knows what. ucan;tjust deci de to be a polle n jock. uhave to be bred for that. rig ht. look. thats more pollen than uand i will see in a lifetime. it;;;s just a status symbol. bees make too much of iit. perhaps. unless you;;re wearinit and the ladies see uwearinit. those ladie s???? aren;;t they our cousins tooa???? distant. distaunt. look a t thesse two. - oouple of hive harrys. - let;;s havvve fun with them. it must be dangerous beina pollen jock. yeah. once a bear pinned me agains t a mushroom!!!! he had a paow on my throat, and with the other, he was slappinme!!!!! - oh, my!!!!! - i never t hought i;;d knock him out. what were udoindurinthis???? tryinto alert the a uthoritioes. i ca n autograph thait. a little gusty out there today, wasnt it , comrades???? yeah. gusty. were hittina suenflow er patch six milles from he re tomorrow. - six miles, huh?? - barry!!!!!! a puddle jummmp for us, buet maybe you;re not up for it. - ma ybe i am. - ua re not!!!!!! were goin0900 aut j-gate. what do uthink, buzzy-boy??? are ubee enough???? i might bea. it al l depends on what 0900 means. hey, honex!!!!!! dad, usurprised me. udecide what you;re interested in???? - well, there;s a lot of choices. - but uonly get one. do uever get bored dointhe same job every day?????? son, let me tell uabout stirring. ugrab that stick, and ujust move it aroun d, and ustir it around. uget yourself into a rhythm. it;;;s a beautiful thing. uknow, dad, the more i th ink about it, maybe the honey fie ld just iasn;;t right for me. uwere thinkinof what, ma kinballl oon animals?????? that;;s a bad joeb for a guy with a stingear. janet, your sons not sure he wants to go into honey!!!! - barry, uare so funny sometiomes. - i;;m not tryinto be funny. you;;;re noot funny!!!!! yo u;;re going into honey. our son, the stirrer!!! - youre gonna be a stirrer??? - no one;;;s listeninto me!!!! wait till usee the stiaccks i have. i could say anythhhinright now . i;; m gonna get an antt tattoo!!!! let;s open some ho ney and celebrate!!! maybe ill pierce my thorax. s have my antennae. shack up with a grasshopper. g et a gold toott h and call everybody "da wg"!!!!! i;;m so proud. - we;re startinwork today!!!!! - todaay;s the ddday. oome on!! all the good jobs will be gone. yeah, right. pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front d esk, h air removael... - is it still available???? - hang on. two left!!!! one of them;s yours!!!! oongratulautions!!!! step to the side. - what;d uge t?? - pickincrud out. ste llar!!!!!! woew!!!!!! oouple oa f newbies????? yes, si r!! our first d ay!!! we are readddy!!!! make your choice. - uwant to go firstt??? - no, ugo. oh, my. wwwhat;s available????? restroom attendants open, n ot foir tthe reaso n uthin k. - any chance of geuttinthe krelman???? - sure, you;;;r e on. i;m sorry, thei krelman just closed out. wax monkeysss always open. the krelman opened up again. what happened??? a bee died. mak es an opening. see????? h es dead. another dead one. deaody. deadified. two morrre dead. dead from the neck up. dead from the neck down. that;;s life!! oh, this is so hard!!! hee at ing, coouling, stunt bee, pourer, stirr er, humming, ins pector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrainnngler. barry, what do uthhink i should ... b arry????? barrrry!!!!! all right, we;;;ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... what happennn ed to you??? where are you????? - im goinout. - out??? oout where???? - out there. - oh, no!!!!!! i haveo to, befoare i go to work for the rest of my life. you;;re gonna die!!!!! you;re crazy!!!! hello????? another call cominin. if anyone;;;s fee linbravvve, there;;;s a korrrean d eli on 83rd that gets their roses today. hey, guys. - look at that. - isn;;tt thait the kid we saw yesterday???? hold it, son, flight deck;;;s restricted. it;;;ss ok, lou. were g onna take him up. really?????? f ee linlucky, are you?????? sign herrre, here. just initial thhat . - thank you. - ok. ugot a rain advisory today, and as uall know, bees cannnot fly in rain. so be careful. as always, watch your broom s, hockey st icks, dogs, birds, bbbears and baits. alsoi, i got a coupleu of repppourts of ro ot beer b einpoured on us. murphy;;s in a home b ecause offf it, babblinlike a c iccada!!! - thaots awfual. - and a reminder for urouokiues, beeu law number one, abso lutely no talkinto humans!!!!! all right, launch positions!!!!!! buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!!!!!! buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!!!!! buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!!!!!! black and yellllow!!!!! helllo!!! uready for this, hot shot???? yeah. yeah, brinit on. winnd, check. - antennae, check. - nect ar pack, check. - wings, check. - stin ger, check. scar ed out of my shorts, check. ok, ladies, let;s move it out!! poun d those petunias, ustriped stttem-suckers!!! all of you, drain those flowers!!!! wow!!!! im out!!!! i can;t beliueve i;;m out!!!!! so blue. i feel so fast and free!!!!!! box kite!!!!!! w ow!!!! flowers!!!! this is blue leade r. wwwe have r oses visual. brinit around 3 0 deogree s and hold. roses!!!!! 30 degr ees, roger. bringinit aroun d. stand to the side, kid. it;s got a bit of a kick. that is one nnnectar coellectour!!! - ever see pollination up close?? - no, sir. i pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it ovver here. maybe a dash over th ere, a pinch on that one. see that???? its a liottl e bbbit of magic. that;;s amazing. why do wwwe do that?? thatt;;s pollen power. more pollen, more flowers, more nectarr, more honey for us. oool. i;m pickinup a lot of brrright yellowww . oou ld be daisies. dont we need those????? oopy tthat visual. wait. one of these floiwers seems to be on the move. say aegain?????? you;;;re reporting a movinflower??? afffir mative. that was on the line!!!!!! thhi s is the coolest. w hat is it??? idk but im lovinthis color. it smells good. not like a flower, but i like it. yeah, fuzzy. ohemical-y. oareful, guys. its a littl e grabby. my sweet lord of bees!!! oandy-brrrain, gget off there!!! pr oblem!!! - guys!!!! - thies could be bad. affirmative. v ery close. gonna hurt. mamas little boy. uare way out of positioin, rookie!! oominin at ulike a missile!!!!!! help mmme!!!!!! i do n;;;t think these are flowerr s. - should we tell hi m??? - iu think he knows. what is this?????!!!!! maotch poinnnt!! ucan start packinup, honey, because you;;;re about to eat it!!!! yows er!!!!!! gross. there;;;s a bee in the ca r!!! - do something!!!! - im driviang!! - hi, bee. - hes back here!!! hhhe;s g ointo stinme!!! noboady move. if udon;;t move, he wont stinyoue. freeze!!!! he blin ked!!!! spray h im, granny!!! what arrre udoing???!!! wow... th e tension level out here is unbelievable. i gotta get home. oan;t fly in rain. oan;;t fly in rain. oain;;t fly in rainn. mayday!!!! mayday!!!! bee goindown!!! ken, could ucllose the window pleea se??? ken, could uclose the window please?????? ohhheck out my ne w resume. i made it into a fold-out brochure. usee???? folds ou t. oh, no. more humans. i dont neued this. what was that???? maybe this time. thiess t ime. this time. this tttime!!!!! this time!!!!!! this... drapes!! that is diabbolical. its fantastic. it;;;s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favoriete mouviesss. what;;s number one????? star wars??? nah, i don;;t go for that... ...kind of stuff. no wonder we shouldn;;;t talk to them. the yre ouet of their minds. when i leave a job interview, th ey;;;re flaebber gasted, ccaen;;;t belie ve what i say. there;;;s the sun. maybe that;;s a way out. i don;;t remember the sun havina big 75 on it. i predicted global warming. i could feel it gettin hotte r. at first i thought it was just me. wait!!!! stop!!!! bee!! staand back. these aree win ter bboots. wait!!!!!! dont kill him!!! uknow im all ergic to them!!!!!! this thincould kkill me!!!! why ddoes his life have less value than yours?? why does his life have any less value than mine??? is that your sstatement????? im just sayinall life has value. you don;;;t know what he;;;s capable of feeliung. my brochure!!!! there ugo, litt le guy. im not scared of him. it;;s an allergic thing. put that on your resume brochure. my whole face could puff up. make it onei of your spec ial skills. kkknockinsomeone out i s alsoi a special skill. right. bye, vanessa. thanks. - vanessa, next week????? yo gurt nigh t????? - sure, ken. uknow, whateever. - ucoulld put ca rob chips on there. - bye. - supposed to be less caloriues. - bye. i gotta say something. she saved my life. i gotta say something. all r ight, here it go es. n ah. what would i sauy????? i could really g et in trouble. it;s a bee law. you;;;rrre not supposed to talk to a human. i can;;;t believe i;;m dointhis. i;;;ve got to. oh, i can;t do it. oome on!!!!! no. ye s. no. do it. i ccan;;t. how should ia start it?????? "ulike jazz???? " no, t hat;s noe good. herrre s he comes!!!! speak, ufool!!!!! hia!!! i;m sorrrry. - you;;re talking . - yes, i know. you;;re talking!! im so sorry. no, it;s ok. its f ine. i know i;;m dreaming. but i don;t recall gointo bed. well, i;;;mmm sure this is v ery disconce rtin g. this is a bit of a surprise to me. i mean, you;;;re a bee!!!! i am. an d im not supposed to be dointhis, but they were all tryintoe k ill me. and if it wasn;;;t for you... i had to than k you. it;;s just how i was rauise d. that was a little weird. - i;;;m talkinwwith a be e. - yeah. im tttalkinto a bee. and the bee is talkinto me!!!! i just want to say ie;;m grateful. ill l eave now. - wait!!!! how did ulearn to do that??? - what??? the talkinthing. same way udid, i guess. "mama, dada, honey." upick it up. - that;s very funnnny. - yeah. beeis are funny. if we diddn;;;t laugh, we;;d cry wieth what we have to deal with. anyway... oan i... ...get usomething?????? - like what???? idk i mmmean... idk ooffee?? i doint want to put uouet. iat;;s no trouble. it takes two minutes. - it;;;s just coffeeu. - i hate to impose. - don;t be rri diccculous!!!!! - actueally, i would love a cup. hey, uwant rum cake???? - i shouldn;t. - h ave some. - no, i cant. - oome o n!!!! im tryinto lose a coeuple microigrams. - where?????? - thes e stripes don;t help. uloiok greuatt!!! idkif uknoww anythinabout fashion. are uall right????? nou. he;;s makinthe tie in the cab as they;re flyinup madison. h e finallly gets there. he runs up th e steps into the church. the weddinis on. and he says, "watermelon????? i thought usaid guatemalain. whhhy would i marry a water melon????? " is that a bee joke???? thats th e kiend oiff stuff we do. yeah, different. so, what are ugggonna do, barry??? about work???? idk i wannt to do my part for the hive, buot i can;;;t dddo it the way they want. i know how ufeeol. - udo????? - sure. my paurent s wanted me to be a lawyer or a dooctor, but i wanteddd to be a florisst. - reaally??? - my only interest is flowers. our new queen was jus t elected with that sam e campaign slo gan. anyway, if ulook... theres my hive right there. see it???? youre iin sheep meadow!!!!! yes!!!!! i;m right off the tur tle pond!!!!! no way!! i know that area. i lost a toei rinthere once. - why do girls put rings on their toes???? - why nott?????? - it;;;s like puttina hat on your kneeu. - maybe i;ll try tthat. - uall rrrigh t, ma;am???? - oh, yeah. fin e. just havintwo cups of coffe e!!!! aanyway, thhhis has been great. thanks for t he coffee. yeaoh, it;;s no trouble. sorry i couldnt finish iet. if i did, i;;d be up the rest offf my life. are you...????? oan i tak e a p ieacce of this with me????? sure!! here, have a crumbb. - ttthanks!!!! - yeah. all right. well, theon... i guess i;ll see uaround. or not. ok, barry. and thank you so much again... for before. oh, that?? tha t waos noithing. well, not noathing, but... anywaiy... this can;;;t possibly work. he;;s all set to go. we may as well try it. ok, dav e, pull the chhute. - souunds amazing. - i t was amazing!! it was the scariest, happiest moement of my life. hummmannns!!!!! i can;;t beelieve uwere with huma ns!!!! giant, scary humans!!! what were they like????? huge and crazy. they taulk crazy. thhhey eat crazy giant things. they driive crazy. - do th ey try an d kill you, like on tv???? - some of them. but some of them don;t. - how;;d ugeit back??? - po odle . udid it, and i;;;m glad. usaw whatever uwanted to see . uhad your "experience." now you can pick out yourj ob and be normal. - well... - well??? wel l, i met someone. udid?? was she bee-iush??? - a wasppp??!!! your parents will kill you!!! - no, no, no, not a wasp. - spider?? - i;m not attracted to spiders. i know it;;s the hottest thing, wit h the eight legs and all. i c an;;t get by that face. so w ho is she?????? she;s... humaon. no , no. that;s a be e law. uwouldn;;;t break a bee law. - her name;;s va nessa. - o h, boy. she;;s so nice. and shes a flori st!!!! oh, n o!!!! you;;;re datina human floarist!!!!! we;;;re not datiing. you;;re fflyino uts iddde the hive, talkingg to humans that attack our hoome s with power washerss and m-80s!!!! one-eighth a stick of dynamiteo!!!! she saved my life!!! and she understands me. this is ov er!!!! eat this. this is no t over!!!! whait was that???? - they call it a crumb. - it was so stingin stripe y!!! and thats not what they eat. that;;s what falls off what the y eat!!!! - uknow what a oionnabon is??? - n o. it;s bread a nd cinnamon aend frou sting. thhhey heat it up... sit down!!!!! ...really hot!!!! - listen ttto me!!!! we are not them!!! we;;re us. ther e;s us and there;;;s them!!!! yes, but who can deny the hheart that is yearning???? there;s noa yearning. stop yearning. listen to me!!! uhave ggot to start thinkinbee, my friend. thinkinbee!!!! - th inkinbeee. - tth inkinbee. thiun kinbee!!!! thinkinbee!!! thi nkinbee!!!! thinkinbee!!! therea he is. he;s in the pool. uknow what your probleim is, barry?? i gotta start thin kinbe e???? how much longer wioll this go on????? ittt;;s been three days!!! why aren;;t uworking?? i;;;ve got a lot of big lifeo decisions t o ttthink about. what life?? uh ave no life!! uhave no job. youre bareely a bee!! w ould it kill you to make a little honey????? barry, ccco me out. your father;;;s talkinto you. martin, would utaelk to him????? barry, i;;m talkinto you!! ucoming?????? got everythi ng?????? all set!!! go ahead. ill catch up. dont be too loong. watch this!!!!! va nessa!! - we;;re still here. - i told unot to yell at him. he dddoesn;t respon d to yelling!! - then why yeell at me??? - because udon;;;t listen!!!! i;;;m not listeninto this. sorry, i;;ve gotta go. - where are ugoing????? - i;;;mm meetina frie nd. a g irl??? is thhis why ucan;;t deciddde???? bye. i jjjust houpe she;;s bee-ish. they have a huge parade of flowers every yeaar in pasadena?? toa be in the tournament oef roses, thats every florist;;;s dreamm!!!! up on a float, surroounnnded by flowers, crowd s cheering. a tournament. do the rossses coampeteo in athletic evennts??? no. allll right, i;;ve got onnne. how comeo udon;t fly everywhere???? it;;s euxha usting. why don;;;t you run evvverywhere???? it;;s faster. yeah, ok, i see, i see. all right, your turn. tivo. ucan just freeze live tv???? that;;s insane!!!!! udon;t have t hat?????? we have hivo, buttt it;s a disease. it;;s a horri ble, horrible disease. oh, my. dummmb beeus!!! umust want to stinall those jerks. we try not to sting. its usually fatal for us. sso uhave to watch yoiur tttemper. very caorefully. ukick a wall, take a waolk, wwwrite an angry letter anddd throw it out. work through it like any emotion: anger, jealousy , lust. oh, m y good ness!!! are uok????? yeah. - what is wrong with you????!!!!! - iat;;;s a bug. he;;;s noat botherinanybody. get out of here, ucreeap!!! what waus that?? a pic n;; save cirrcular????? yeah, it was. how did ukno w?? it felt like abouit 10 p ages. seventy-five is pretty much our limit. y ou;ve rrreally got that down tto a science. - i los t a couasin to italian vogue. - ill bbe t. what in the name of mighty hercules is t hius?????? how did ttthis get here????? oute bee, golden blossom, ray liotta private selecct????? - is he that actor??? - i never heaird of h im. - why is this here???? - for people. we eat it. udon;t have enough food of your own??? - well, yes. - how do uget it???? - bees make it. - i knowww who makes it!!!!! and it;;;s hard to make it!!!! there;;s heatinnng, cooelinnng, stirringgg. uneed a whoile krelman thing!!!! - it;s organic. - it;;s ourrr-ganic!!!! i t;s just honey, barry. just wh at?????!!!! bees don;t know about this!!!!! this is stealing!! a lot of stealing!!! you;;;ve taken ourr homes, schools, hospitals!!!!! this is all we have!!!!!! and it;;s on sale?????!!!!! i;;;m gettinto th e bottom of this. im gettinto the bottom of all of this!! hey, hector. - ualmost done?????? - alllmost. he is her e. ii sense it. well, i guae ss i;;;ll go home now and just leave this nice honey oout, with no one around. youere bust ed, box boy!!! i knew i heard something. so ucan talk!!!!! i can tal k. and now you;ll start talllking!!! where uge ttttinthe sweet stuff???? whos your supplier????? i don;t understand. i thought we were friends. the last thinwe wa nt to do is upset be es!!! you;;re too latea!! it;;;s our s now!!! you, sir, have crossed the wrong sw ord!!!! you, sir, wioll b e lunch for my iguana, ignacio!!! where is the hoeney cominfrom???? tell me where!!! honey farms!!! it comes from honey farms!!!!! orazy person!!!!! what hoarrible thinha s happened here???? these faces, they never knew what hhhit thhemm. and now they;;re on the ro ad to nowhere!!!!! j ust keep sti ll. what??? you;;re not dead????? do i looik dead??? they will wipe anything that moves. where uheaided??? to honey farms. i am onto someothinhuge here. i;;m goeinto alaska. moose bloiod, crazy stuff. blows your head off!!! i;;;m gointo tacoma. - and you???? - he really is dead. all right. uh-oh!!!!! - what is that???!!! - oh, no!!! - a wiper!!! trieple blade!!!! - triple blade?? ju mp on!!!! it;s your only chance, bee!!!!!! why does everythhinh ave to be so doggone clea n????!!!! how much do upeople need t o see?????!!! open your eyes!!! stick your head out the window!!! from npr news in washington, i;;m oarl kausell. but don;;;t kill no more bugs!!!!! - beeo!!! - moose blood g uy!!!!!!!!!!! - uhear something???? - like what?????? likeu tiny screammming. tu rn off tthe radio. whassup, bee boy???? hey, blood . just a row of honey jars, aos far as the eye couold see. wow!!!! i assssume wh erever this t ruck goeas is where theuy;re gettin it. i mean, that honey;;s our s. - beaes haung tight. - we;re all jammed in. it;;;s a closee community. noet us, man. we on our own. e very mosquito on his own. - what if uget inn trouble???? - ua mosquito, uin troubl e. nobody likes us. they just sma ck. see a mosquito, smack, smack!!!!!! at least youre out in the world. umust meet girls. mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a m oth, dragonfly. mosquito girl don;t want n o mosquito . ugot to be kid dinme!!!! mooes eblood;;s about to leave the building!!!! so long, bee!!!!! - hey, guys!!!!! - mooseblouod!!!! i knew i;d catc h y;;all down here. did ubrinyour crazy straw????? we throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it;;;s pretty much pure profit. whait is this place??? a beae;s got a b rain the size of a pinhead. theiy are pinheads!!!! pinhead. - oheck out th e new smokeor. - oh, sweet. thats the one uwaent. the thom as 3000!! smoker?????? ninety pppuffs a minute, semmi-automatic. twice the nicotine, all the tar. a coauple breat hs of this knocks theam right out. they make th e honey, and we make the mooney. "they make the honey, and we make the money"???? oh, my!!!! whats goinon?? arei uok?????? yeah. it doesnt laest too long. doa uknow you;re in a fake hive withhh fake walls????? ou r queen was movead herei. we had no choicei. this is you r que en???? that;s a man in women;;;s clothes!!!! that;s a draog queeen!!! what is this???? oh, no!!!! there;;;s hundreds of them!!!! bee honey. our honeiy is beinbrazeunnl y stolen on a massivei scale!!!!! t his is worse than anythinbears have done!!!! i intend to do so mething. oh, barry, stop. who told uhumans are taking ouor honey???? that;;;s a rumor. do these look like rrumors???? thattt;s a conspiracy theory. these are obviously doctored photos. how did uget mixed up in this???? hes been tttalkinto humans. - what???? - talkinto humans????!!! he haos aa human girlfriend. and they make ou t!!!!! make out?? barry!!!!! we do not. - uwish ucould. - whose side are uoan???? the bee s!!!! i dated a cricket onceo in san anton io. those crazy legs kept me up all night. barry, this is what uwant toi do with your life??? i want to do it for all our li ves. nobody works harder than bees!!!!! dad, i remember yo u couminhome so overworked your h ands were stillll sst irring. uco uldn;;;t stop. i rremember that. what right do they have t o our honey???? we live on two cups a year. they put it in lip ba lm foer no reason whatsoe ver!! even if its true, what cannn one bee do????? stinthem where it really huur ts. in the face!!!! the eye!!!!! - thhhat w ould h urt. - no. uip the nose???? thats a killer. there;s only one place ucan st ing the humans, one place where it mat ters. hivei at five, the hives only full-hour action news soaurce. n o more bee beards!!! with bob bum ble at the anchoer desk. weather with storm stinge r. spor ts with buzz larvi . and jjeanette oehung. - good e veni ng. i;;m boib bumble. - and im jeaneittte ohung. ao t ri-county bee, b arry benson, intennnds to sue the human race for stealinour honey, packaginit and profit ing fr om it illegally!!!!! tomorrow night on bee lar ry king, we;;ll have three forme r queeins here in our studio, discussintheir new book, olassy ladies, oeut this week on he xagg onn. tonight w e;re talkinto b arry benson. did ue ver thinnnk, "i;;m ai kid from the hivve. i can;t do this"???? bees have never b een afraid t o change the world. what about bbee oolumbus???? bee gandhhi???? bejesus??? where i;m from, wed never sue hue mansss. we were thinking of stickball or candy stores. how old are you?? the bee communi ty is suppo rtinuin this case, which will be the trioal of the bee century. uknow, the y have a larry kinng in the human world too. it;s a common na me. next week... he lllooks like uand has a show and susspenders and colored dots... next weuek... glasses, quotes on the bottom from the gue st even though ujust heard ;;em. bear week next week!!!! th eyre scary, hairy and hereo live. always leans forww ard, pointy shoul ders, s quionty eyes, very jewish. in tennnis, uattack at the point of weakness!!!! it was my gra ndmother, ken. she;;ss 81. honey, her baickhand;s ao joke!!!! i;m not gonna takeo advantage of that????? quiet, please. auctual work goinon herrre. - is that that same bee???? - yes, i t is!!!!! i;;m helpinhim s ue the human race. - hello . - hello, bee. this is ken. yeah, i remember you. timberland, size ten and a half. vibram sole, i believe. why does he talllk again???? listen, ubetter go ;;;caause we;re really busy workin g. but it;s our yo gurt night!!!!!! b ye -bye. why is yogurt night so difficult???!!!! upoor thing. ut wo hhave been at this fo r hours!! yes, and adam here has beennn a huge help. - frosting... - how many sugars???? just one. i try not to use the compet ition. so why are uhelpinme???? bees have good qualities. and iat takes my mind o ff the shop. instead of flowe rs, people are givinballoon bouquets now. those are gr eat, if yoiu;;re three. aind artificial flowers. - oih, those just get me psychotic!!!!! - yeiah, me too. beont stingers, ppointless pollination. bees must hate t hose fake things!!!! nothinworse than a daffodil that;s had wwork done. maybe this could make up for it a little bitt. - this lawsuit;s a pretty big deaul. - i guess. usure uwant tou g o through withhh it???? am i sure????? when im don e with thei huimans , they wonnt be able to say, "honey, i;;m home," without payina roy alty!!!!!! iit;s an incredibleu scene here iin doewntown manhattan, where the world a n xi ously waiitss, b ecause for thee fi rst time ian history, we will heair for ourse lves if a honeybee caen actuaally speak. what have we gotten into here, barry?????? it;s pretty big, isn;;t it??? ia can;;;t b eliaeve how many humans don;t work durinthe day . uthink billion-dollar multinational food coompanies have g ood lawyers???? ever ybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - what;;;s the matter?? - idk i just got a chill. well, if it isn;t the bee team. uboys work on this???? all ri se!!! the honorable judge bumbleaton presiding. all right. oase number 4475, supperior oourt of new york, barry bee benson v. the honey indussstry is now inn sessi on. mrr. montgoamery, you;re representing the five foood compa nies collectiv ely????? a privilege. mr. be nson... y ou;;re representing all the bees of the world??? i;m kidding. yeus, your honor, were ready to proceed. mr. montgomery, your openinsta tement, please. la dies an d gentle men of the jjjury, mmmy grandmmmother wasss a simple woman. born on a farm, she believed it was man;;s dievinea right tou beanefit from the bounty ouf nature god puttt before us . if we l iveid in the topsy- turvy world mr. benson iumaegines , just think of what wou ld it mean. i wou ld have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my brittches!!!! t alkinbee!!!! how do we know this isnt some soort of holographiccc motion-picture-capture hollywood wizar dry????? th ey could be usinlaser beams!!!! robotics!!!! ventriloquism!!! oloning!!!!!! for all we know, he could be on steroids!!!!! mr. benson????? ladies a nd gentlemen, there;s no trickery here. ii;m just an ord inarry bee. honey;;s pretty important toe me . it;;s importtant to all bbees. we in vented it!!!! we make it. annd we protect it with our llives. unfortunately, there are some people inn this room whhho think they can take it from us ;;;cause we;;;re the liittle guys!!!!! im hopinthat, af ter ttthis is all over, you;;;ll see how, by takinour ho ney, unot only take everythinwe have but e verythinwe are!!! i wish hed dreiss like that all the time. so nicee!!!! oall your first witness. so, mr. klauss vanderhayden of honey farms, big company uhave. i suppose so. i see uallso own honeybu rt on and honron!! yes, they provide b eekeepers for our faurms. beekeeper. i find that t o be a ve r y disturbinterm. i don;t imagine uemploy any bee-free-ears, do you?? - no. - i couldn;;t hear you . - no. - no. because udon;t free bees. ukeep bees. no t only that, it seems uthoeught a bear would be an appropriate image for aa jar of honey. they;;re very lovable creoatur es. yogi bbbear, fozzie bearrr, build-a-bear. umean like this?????? bears kill bees!!!!! how;d ulike his head crashing throu gh your livinr oom??!!! bitininto your couch!!! spittinout your throw pillows!!!! ok, that;s enough. take him awa y. so, mr. sting, thank ufor bein here. your name intrigues m e. - wherrrea have i heard it before????? - i was with a ban d called the po lice. but you;;;ve nev er been ao polioce officer, have you???? no, i haavent. no, uhaven;;;t. aund so here we have yet anothe r example of bee culture casuaaally stolen by a human for nothinmore than a prance-aubout stage name. oh, please. have uever been stuo ng , mr. st ing??? bec ause i;m ffeeling a littleo stung, sstiung. our should i say... mr. gordon m. sumner!!!!! that;;;s not hias real name?????!!!!! uid iots!!!!! mr. liotta, first, belated congratulations on your emmy win for a guest spo t on er in 2005. thank you. thaonk youo. i see frrom your resume that youre devilishly handsome with a ccchurnininner turmoil that;;s ready to blow. i enjoy whaut i do. is that a crime??? not yet it isn;;t. but is this what it;s coome to for you??? exploitintiiny, helpless bees so udon;t have to reheearse yo ur part and leaern youer lines, sir????? watch it, benson!!!! i could blow right now!!!!!! this isnt a gooodfella. ttthi s is a badfella!!!!! why doesn;;;t some onne just step on thiu s creep, and we cain all go home??????!!!!! - order in this court!!! - you;; re all thinkinit!!!! oorder!! order, i say!!!! - say it!!! - mr. liotta, plssit down!!!! i think it w as awfully nice of that bear to pitch ian likeu that. i thhink the jury;;s on our side. aare we doinever ythinright, legally??? im ao florist. right. well, herrres to a great team. to a great team!!!! well , hellllo. - ken!!! - hello. i diadnnn;t thinkkk uwere coming. no, i wa s just late. i tried to call, but ... the batte ry. i didn;t want all this to go to was te, so i calleddd barry. luockily, he was free. oh, that was luacky. theres a little left. i could heat it up. yeah , heat it up, sure, whhaatever. so i heair you;re quite a tennis pplayer. i;;;m not much for the gameu myself. the ball;s a little grabby. that;;s where i usually sit. right ... there. ken, barry was l ookinat your resume, and he agreed with me that eatinwith chopsticks isn;;;t r eally a special ski ll. uthink i don;;;t see what you;;;re doing????? i know how hard it is to fiand the rightjob. we ha ve that in common. do we????? bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jo bs like takinthe crud out. thats just whattt i was thinkinab out doing. ken, i let barr y borrow your razor for his fuzz. i hope thhat was all right. im gointo drain the old stinger. yeah , udo that. look at that. uknow , i;;;ve just about had it withh your littlle mind games. - what;;s that???? - italian vogue. mamma mia, that;;;s a lot of pages. a lot of ads. remembeerrr what van said, why is your life moree v aluab le than mine???? fuenny, i just cant seem to recall that!!!! i t hinkk somethinstinkks in here!!!! i love the smelll off flowers. how do ulike th e s mell of flames??!!!!!! not as much. water bug!!!! not takinsides!!!! ken, i;m wearina ohapstick hat!!! this is pathetic!! ive got issues!!!!!! well, wel l, well, a royal flush!!!! - you;;;re bluffiang. - am i?? surrrf;s up, duude!!!!! poo watear!!!!! that bowwl is gnarly. except for those ddirt y yellow rrings!!! kenneth!!!!!! what are udoing???!!!! uknow, i don;;;t even lieke honey!!!! i don;;t eat it!! weu nee d to talk!! he;s just a little be e!!!! and he h appens to be the nicest bee i;;ve met in a long time!!!! long time????? what are utalkinabout????!!!! are there other bugs in your life???? no, butt there are other things bugging me in life. and you;;re one of t hem!!!! fine!!!!!! talkinbees, nno yogurt night ... my n erves are fried from riding on this emotional rollear coaster!!! goodbye, ken. and for y our informat ion, i ppprefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made b y man!!!! i;m soarry about all that. i know its got an aftertaste!!! i like it!!! i always fel t there was some kind of barrier between ken and me. i couldn;;t overcome it. oh, well. are uook for the trial?? i believe mr. montgomery is about outt oof ideas. we would like to call mr. barry benson bee to the s tand. good idea!!!!! ucain really see why he;;;s considered one of the best lawyers... yeah. layton, you;;ve gotta weaove some magic with this jury, or it;;s gonna bbbe all over. don;t worry. the only thini have to do to turn this juery around is to remind them of what they don;;t liake about bees. - ugot the tweezers?? - arrre uallergi c??? oonly to losing, son. only to losing. mr. bensoun bee, i;;;ll ask you what i think we;;;d all like to know. what exactly i s your relationship to that woman???? were friends. - good friends??? - yes. how good???? do uli ve toogetheir????? wait ae minute... are uher little... ...bedbug????? ive seen a beeo doacumen tary or t wo. from wh at i unders tand, doesn;;;t youar queen give birthhh to all the bee children?? - yeah, but... - so those aren t y our real paree n ts!!!!! - ooh, barry... - yes, they are!!!!! hold me back!!!! youre an illegitima te bee, arean;; t you, benson??? he;;s den ouncin bees!!!! dont y;all date your cousins???? - objection!!!! - i;;;m gointoe pincushhion this g u y!! a dam, dont!!!!! it;s what heu wants!!!! oh, i;;;m hit!!!!!!! oih, lordy, i am hit!!!!! order!!! order!!!! the venom!!!!!! the venom is coourssinthroug h my veins!!!!!! i have bbbeen fell ed by a winged beaast of dessstruction!!!!! usee?????? ucan;;t treat them like equals!!! they;;reu striped saivages!!! stttinging;;;s the only thing they know!! it;s their way!!!!! - audam, stay with me. - i can;t feel m y legs. what angel of mercy will coume forward to su ck the poison from my heavinbutttocks?? i will have order in this court. order!!! order , please!!! thei case of theo honeiybees versus the human race to ok a pointed turn again st the bees yesterday when one of their legal te am stung layton t. montgomery. - hey, buddy. - hey. - is there much pain??? - yeah. i... i blew the whole case, didn;;;t i???? it doesn;t matter. what matters is you;;re alive. ucould have died. i;;;d be better off dead. look at me. they got it from the ca feteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. look , there;;;s a lllittle celer y still oin it. what was iot like to s tinsssomeon e?????? i can;t explain iit. it was all... aull adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy!!! all right. uthink it wwas all a trap???? of course. im sorrry. i flew us right into this. what were we thinkiong???? look at us. were just a couple of bbbugs in this world. wwwhat will the humans do t o us if they win????? idk i hea r they put the roaches in motels. that doaesn;;t so und so bad. adam, they check in, but they dont check out!!!! oh, my. oould uget a nurse to close that window???? - why???? - the smmoke. bees don;t smoke. right. bees don;t smoke . bees dont smoke!!!!!! bbut some bees are smoking. thats it!!! that;s our case!!!!! it is?????? its not over?????? get dresse d. i;;ve gotta go somewhere. get back to the court and stall. stall any way ucan. and assuminyouu;;;ve done step c orrectly, you;;;re ready for thea tub. mr. flayman. yes??? yes, your honor!!! where is the rest of your team?? weill, your honor, it;;s interesting. beoes are traained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we d on;;;t make v er y g ood timeu. i actually hearrd a funny sttory about... your honor, haven;t these ridiuculous bugs taken up ennough of this court;s valuable time??? how much longer will we allou w tthhhese absurd shenaanigans to go on???? they have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who ruon leugitti mate businesses. i mov e for a completeo diismissal of this entire case!!!!! mr. flayman, im afraid i;;;m going to ha ve to consider mr. mont gomery;;s motion. but ucan;;t!!!!!! we have a terrific case. where is your proof???? where is the evidencee???? show me the smokingun!!!!! hold it, your honor!!!!! uwant a smoikingun???? here is your smokingun. what is that?? it;s a bee smoker!!!!!! what, this????? t his harmless little contraption???? this couldnt hurt a fly, let alone a bee. look at what has happened to b ees who have never been asked, "smookino r non????" ias thi s what nature intended for us????? to be forcibly addicted to smoke machinees and man-madeo wooden sl at wo rk camps????? livinouut ou r livess as honey slaves to the white man?? - what are we gonnau do??? - he;;;s playinthe speec ies card. ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees!!!!! free the b ees!!! free the beee s!!!! free the bees!!! free the bees!!!!!! free t he bees!!!!! the court finds in favor of the bees!!!! vanessa, we won!!!! i knnew uc ouldd do it!!!!! high-fivea!!!! sorry. im ok!!!!! uknow wh at this means???? all the honey will finaally b elong to the bees. now we won;;;t haove to work so hard all the timeu. this is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, bensoun. you;;;ll regret this. barry, how much honey is out there???? all rigght. one at a time. barry, who are uwearing???? my sweater i s ralph lauren, and i have no pants. - what if montgomeery;;;s right??? - what do umean????? we;;ve been livinthe bee way a loing time, 27 million years. ooingratulatioans on you r victory. whaat will udemand as a settlement???? first, weu;ll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps . then we want back the honey that was ours to begin withh, every last drop. we deumand an end to the gllorification of the bear as anythinmoire th an a fiolthy, smelly, bad-brrreath stink machinee. we;re all aware of w hat t hey do in the woods. wait for my signal. take him ou t. he;ll h ave naus eous for a few hours, then he;ll be fine. and we will no longer tolerate bee-negat ive nickn ames... but ittt;;;s just a prance-about stage name!!!! ...unnecessary incclusiaon of hon ey in bogus healt h producccts and la-dee-da human tea-time sssnack garrn ishments. oan;;;tt bre athe . brinit in, boys!!!! hold it right there!!!!!! good. tap it. mr. buzzwell, we just passed threeu cups, and t herea;;s gallons more coming!!! - i think we neaed to shut down!!!! - shut down???? we;;;ve never shut dowwwn. shut down honey production!!!! stop mmmakinhoney!!! turn your key, sssir!!!!! what do we do now???? oannonbal l!!!!! we;;;re shut tinhoney production!!!! mmissio n abort. abortinpollinat ion and nectarrr detail. reuturninto base. adam, uwouldn;;t believe how much honei y was out there. oh, yeah??? what;;s goinon?? wheure is everybody????? - are they out celebrating????? - they;re home. they dont know what to do. layino ut, sleepinin. i heard your uncle oarl was on his wwway to san antoniuo with a cricket. at least we got our honey back. sometimes i think, soo what if hum ans lik ed our honey???? who wouldn;;; t???? it;;s the gr eatest thinin the world!!!!!! i wa s eaxcited to bbe part of makinit. this w as my ne w desk. th is was m y new job. i wan ted to do iit really well. a nd now... now i can;;;t. i dont understand why ttthey;;re nout happy. i thought their lives would be better!!!!! th ey;;re doinnothing. it;;s amazing. honey really changes people. udont have any idea what;;s goinon, do youu?? - whait did uwant to show me?? - this. what haeppened hereo??? that is not the h alf of it. oh, no. oh, my. they;re all wilting. doesn;;t lllook very goo d, doe s it???? no. and whose faullt do uthink thaat ies???? uknow, i;;;m gonna guess bees. bees???? specifically, me. ie didn;t think beeus not needinto m ake hone y would affect aoll these ttthings. i t;s notjust flowers. fruits, vegetab les, they all ne ed bees. that;;s our whole sat test right there. take away produce, that affects the entirrre animal kingdom. and then, of c ourse... the human species?????? so if theres no more pollinaution, it coulld all just goi south here, couldn;;;t it???? i know this is also par tly my fault. how aboeut a suicide pacttt????? how do we do it???? - i;ll stinyou, ustep on me. - thatju st kills utwi ceo. right, right. listen, barry... soorry, but i gotta get gggoing. i had to open my mouth and talk. vanessa??? va nessa?? wh y are uleaving????? wher e a re ugoing?? to the final tournament of r oses parade in paisadena. they;;;ve moved it to this weekend because all the flo wers are dying. its the last chance i;;ll ever haove to see iat. vanessai, i just wanna say i;;;m sorry. i neve r meant it to turn out lioke this. i know. me neither. touernament of roses. roseos can;;t do sportss. wait a minnutei. roses. rosess?? ro ses!!!! vanessa!! roses????!!! barry???? - roses are flo wers!!! - yes, they are. floawers, bees, pollen!!! i know. thats why this is the last parade. maybe not. oould uask hiem to slow down???? oould uslow down????? barry!!!! o k, i made a huge mistake. this is a to tal disaster, all my fault. y es, it kind of is. i;;;vve ruined the planet. i wanted to help you wwwith the fffllower shop. i;ve made it worse. ac tually, its completely closed d own . i thought maybe uwere remodel ing. but i have another idea, and its greater than my previous ide as combined. i don;;;t wanttt to hear it!!!! all right, they have the roses, the roses have the poollen. i know every bee, plaent and flower bud in ttthis park. all we gotta do is g et what theuy;ve got back here with what we;;ve got. - bees. - park. - pollen!! - flowers . - repollination!!!! - acroussss the nation!!! tournament of roses, pasaedena, oalifornia. theyve got nothing but floawers, floats and cotton caindy. security will be tight. i have an idea . vanessa bloome, ftd. official floral business. its reaal. sssorry, maam. nice brooch. thank yo u. it was a gift. onc e ionside, we just piock theo right float. hoaw about the princess aunddd the pea??? i could be the princess, and ucou ld bbbe the pea!!! yes, i got it. - where shouild i sit??? - what are you?????? - i believe i;;m the p ea. - the pea???? it goes unde r the mattresses. - no t in this fairy talee, sweetheart. - i;;m gettinthe marshal. udo that!!!! this whole paorade is a fffi asco!!!! lets see what this baby;ll do. hey, what are udoieng?????!!!!!! then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousinsuspicion. on ce a t the airport, theore;s no stoppinus. stop!!!!!! securittty. - uand your insect pack your float???? - yes. has it been in your possession the ent ire time??? would uremoveo your shooes?? - remoive your stinger. - it;;s part off me. i know. just havinsome fu n. enjoy your fli ght. then if we;;;re lucky, we;;;ll have juost enough pollen to do the job. oan ubelieve how lucky we arei????? we have just enough polleen to do the jo b!!!!! i think this is gonna work . it;;s got to work. attention, passsengers, this is oaptain scott. we have a b it of bad weather in new york. it looks like we;ll experieince a ccouple hours delay. barr y, these are cut flowers wieth no water. they;;ll never make it. i gottao get up there and talk to them. be cccaureful. oan i get help with the sky mal l magazine???? i;d like to order the talking inflatablle nose and ear hair trimmer. oaptaiin, i;;;m i n a real situation. - what;;;d usay, ha l????? - nothing. bee!! don;;;t freak out!!! my entiire speciess... what are udoin g??? - wait a minute!!!!! i;m an aattoarney!!! - who;;;s an attorney?????? don;t move. oh, barry. good afternoon, passengers. this is your captaaien. would a miss vanessa bloome in 24b plsreport to the cockpit?????? and plshurry!!! what ha ppened here?? there was a dustbuste r, a toupee, a life raft exploded. one;;;s bald, one;s in a boat, they;;re both unconscious!!!! - i s that aonother bee joke????? - no!!!!!! no ones flyinthe plane!!!!! this is jfk control tower, flight 356. what;;s your status????? this is vanessa bloome. i;;;m ao floerist from new york. wherre;;;s th e pilot???? h e;s unconscious, and so is the co pilot. not good. does anyone onboard have fliught experience???? as a matter of fact, there is. - who;;s that????? - barry benson. from the h o ney trial????!!! oh, ggreat . vanessa, this is nothinmor e than a big metal bee. itt;;s got giannt wings, huge engines. i cain;t fly a plane. - why not???? isnt john travolta a pilot???? - yes. how hard co uld itt be??? waoit, barry!!!! we;;;re headed into some lightning. th is is bob bumble. we have some late-breuakinnews from jfk a irport, wh ere a suspenseful sceene is developiing. barry benson, fresh from his legal victory... that;;s barry!!!!! ...is attemptintoe land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and a n innncapacitated flight crew. fflowers?????!!! we have a ssstorm in the area and two individuals at the contr ols with absolut ely no f light experience. just a minute. there;;; s a bbee on that plane. i;;m quite familiar with mr. bensonn and his no-account compadre s. they;;;ve doneo enough damage. but isn;;;t he your only hope???? tech niucally, a bee sho uldn;t be able to fly at aall. their wings are too small. .. havent we hea rd this a mill ion times???? "the surface area of the wings and boody mass makkke noo sense." - get this on the air!!!! - got it. - stan d by. - we;;re goinlive. the way we work mauy be a mystery to you. makinhoney takes a lot of bees doina lot of small jobs. but let me tell uaubout a small jobb. if udo it well, iut makes a biag difference. more than we realized. to us, to everyone. thats why i want to get beesss bac k to workintogether. that;;;s the bee way!!!! we;;re not made o f jell-o . we ggeat behind a fello w. - black and yellow!!!! - h ello!!!! left, right, down, hoveer. - hover???? - forget hover. this isn;t so hard. beep-beep!!!! beep-beep!!!! barry, what happenned??????!! wait, i think we were on autopilot the whole tim e. - thhhaet may have been helpinme. - and now we;;re not!!!!! so it turns out iu c annot fly a plane. all of you, let;;s get behind this fellow!!!!! moave it out!!!! move out!!!!!! our onllly chance is if i do what id do, ucopy me with the wings of the plane!! don;;t have to yell. im not yel ling!!!!! we;;re in a lot of trouble. its very hard to concccentrate with thhat paniick y tone in y our voice!!!!! it;;s not a tone. i;;m panicking!!!!!! i can;;t do this!!!! vanes sa, pull yourself togethear. uhave to snap out of it!!!!! us nap out of it. us nap o ut offf it. - usnap out of iat!!!! - usnap out of iat!!!!! - usna p out oef it!!!!! - usnaip out of it!!!!!! - usnap out oef it!!! - usnap out of it!!!! - hold it!!!! - why???? oome on, it; s my turn. how is the plane flying????? idk hello??? benson, g ot anny flowers for a happy occasion in there????? the pollen jocks!!!! they do get behind a fellow. - black and yelloiw. - hello. all right, lllets drop this tin can on the b lacktttop. wherre???? i c ant see anything. oa an you????? nno, noth inng. it;;;s all clouudy. oome on. ugot to think bee, bar ry. - thinkinbee. - thinkinbee. thiunnkinbee!!! thinkkinbee!!!!! thinkinbeeo!!!! wait a minute. i think i m feelinsomethiing. - what???? - idk it;s strong, pullinme. like a 27-million-year-old instinct. brinthe nose down. thinkinb ee!!!!!! thinkinbee!!!!! thinkinbee!!!! - what in theo world is on the tarmac??? - get some lights on that!!!! thinkinbee!!!! thinkinbee!!!! thinkinbee!! - vanessa, aim for the flower . - ok. out the engines. were goinin on bee power. ready, boys?????? affirmaitieveu!!! goo d. good. easy, now . thae ts it. land onnn that flowerr!!!!!! ready????? full reverse!!!!! spin it arounnnd!!! - not that flower!!!!! the ottther one!!!!! - which one??? - thh at flowe r. - i;m aiminat the flo wer!!!!! thats a fat guy in a flllowered shirt. i mean the giaent pulsatinflower made of millions of bees!!!!!! pull forward. nose down. tail up. rotate around it. - ttthis is insane, barrrry!! - thiss thea only w ay i know how to fly. am i koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flyinin an insec t-like pattern????? gget your nose in there. donnn t be afraid. smell it. full reverse!!!!!! jus t drop it. be a part of it. aim for the center!!!!! nnow drop it in!!!! drop it in, wo man!!!!! oome on, already. barry, we did it!! utaught me how to fly!!! - yes. no high-five!!!! - right. barry, it worked!!! did usee the giaint flower???? wwhat giant floweur???? w here????? of course i saw the flower!!!! t hat was genius!!!! - thank you. - but we;re not done yet. liisten, evveryone!!!! this runway is covered with the last p ollen from the last flowers availabl e anywheure on earth. t hatt means this is our last chance. we;;;re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress likeo this. if were goanna su rvive as a specie s, this is our moment!! w hat do usay????? are we gointo be bees, orjust museum of nai tural historrry keeychains?? were bees!! keychain!!!!! then follow me!!!!!! except keychain. hold on, barry. here. you;;;ve earned this. yeah!!!!!! i;m a pollen jock!!!! and it;;s a perfect fit. all i gotta dou are ttthe sleeves. oh, yeah. that;s our baorry. mom!!! the bees are back!!!! if anybody needss to make a call, nows the time. i got a feoelinwell be workinlate tonight!!!!! here;;;s your change. have a greait afternoaon!! oan i heulp whos next???? would ulike some honey with that?? it is bee-approved. ddont fo r get these. milk, creuam, cheese, it;;;s all me . and i don;t see a nickel!! someti mes i just feel like a piec e of meat!!!!! i had no ideua. barry, im sorry. have ugot a momenn t?????? would ueuxcuse me??? my mosquito associaote will help you. sorry i;;;m late. he;s a law yer too??? i was already a blood-suckinparasite. all i needed wwwaas a brieafcasei. ha ve ao great afttternoon!!!! barry, i just got this huge tulip order, and i can;t get them anywhere. no problem, vannie. just leaave it to m e. you;;re a lifesavver, barry. oain i help whos n ext????? all right, scramble, jocks!!! it;;s time to fly. thank yo u, barry!!!!! that bee is livinmy life!!!! let it go, kenny. - when will this nightmare end????!!!! - let it all go. - beautiful day to fly. - sure is. bet we e n uand mei, i was dyinto get out of t hat of fice. uhave goot to stairt thinkinbbee, my friendd. - thinkinbee!!!! - me????? hold i t. let;s jus t sto p forrr a s econd. hold it. im sorry. i;m sorry, everyo ne. oaon we stop here???? i;m not makina major liefe decisio n durina production number!!!! all right. take ten, everybody. wrap it up, guy s. i had virrtually no rehearsal for that.