#eehhhh i really lost where i was going with this one. it happens

[neopuff]

title: outreach word count: ~2400 ships: six/holiday  summary: He decided not to beat around the bush. "How much money did Brandon Moses steal from you?" ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47694358

“Who’s Brandon Moses?”

White Knight looked up at his ex-partner, raising an eyebrow curiously. He’d just moved into the Dam Base with Six, Holiday, and Bobo a few days ago and of all the questions he expected to get from Six, that was not one of them. “Why are you asking me that?”

Six scowled at the non-answer. “Just tell me.”

Knight shrugged, moving his attention back to the tablet in his hand. “Scientist that scammed Holiday out of her life savings.”

There was a sudden, stark silence in the air that made the man in white look back up. Six’s expression was a mixture of shocked, confused, and deeply pissed.

“Are you telling me she never told you about that?”

“No,” Six spit out venomously. “She didn’t say anything. But I was just informed of his location by an associate that you told me I’d lost contact with.”

“Ah.” Knight bit his tongue - he wanted to make a comment about Holiday probably being too embarrassed to admit her folly to Six, but decided against it. “I don’t know what to tell you. You probably reached out after he got away.”

Six repeatedly clenched his fists at his side, looking at the wall in the direction of Holiday’s current lab. “He stole her money and we let him get away?”

“There were other priorities at the time,” White said matter-of-factly. “Lots of dangerous EVOs to deal with."

With a petty huff, Six turned around and left the room, leaving Knight alone once again. Knight watched him leave with idle curiosity, wondering if he was going to confront Dr. Holiday. She spent a lot of time by herself nowadays - they all did - and probably wouldn’t react well to an interrogation.

He went back to organizing documents on his tablet. They’d probably be fine.

x

Six stormed down the halls with a deep frown on his face. He’d been told so many amazing things about his older self, hearing that the man let a con-artist get away with all of Holiday’s money…it pissed him off. It pissed him off a lot. And why wouldn’t she have told him about it?

Was she embarrassed? He’d obviously sent out some inquiries for Moses’ location before losing his memories, so he was involved. He’d wanted to get her money back - or at the very least, get revenge on her behalf.

He took one last step towards her lab and paused, considering for a moment if he should be mad or not. He had asked her, specifically, on many occasions, to tell him as much about his old life as possible. He'd asked for, at the very least, all the significant moments that she'd been present for. This sounded significant to him, especially if he'd reached out to certain individuals to try and find out more.

It was possible that Holiday didn't know. Maybe the time was significant to her, but his older self had never made his interest in her situation clear.

Six crossed his arms over his chest at that thought. He didn't think that was true. Though his old self tended to be tight-lipped, often when it came to the doctor, he wouldn't have let some thief rip her off without getting directly involved. He was still surprised he let the man get away, even if there were EVOs that needed corralling. Holiday must've been in danger.

With his decision not quite made - angry or not angry? - Six walked the rest of the way into her lab.

She was sitting at her computer, back turned to him, completely unaware that he'd entered the room. He needed to do something about that. She was vulnerable to attack if she wasn't paying close attention.

"Holiday."

"Oh!" She swiveled around and gave him a smile. "Hey, Six. Need something?"

He decided not to beat around the bush. "How much money did Brandon Moses steal from you?"

Her smile, pretty and bright and always lovely to see, immediately turned into a frown. She looked surprised and uneasy and quickly turned back around to her computer. "That's not really any of your business."

Six didn't like that answer. That answer said a lot. Maybe Knight wasn't exaggerating when he said this man had taken her life savings from her. "I think it is my business."

She scoffed and turned only her head to glare at him. "How do you even know about him? Did White tell you?"

"I have his location."

Holiday froze, glare dissipating and transforming into an expression of pure confusion. It couldn't have been more clear that she didn't know the old Six had reached out. "...how?"

"That's…" Six shoved his hands into his pockets. He really doubted his older self had told her much about life before Providence. "...not important."

She exhaled loudly and turned to the computer again. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

He glared at her and walked closer, grabbing another chair and taking a seat next to her. “Did this have something to do with your sister?”

Holiday kept typing, refusing to look at him. “Yes.”

“And you didn’t tell me.”

“She’s my sister. It had nothing to do with you,” she mumbled, her typing slowing down just a bit.

Six raised an eyebrow at that statement. “I really doubt that, Holiday. Tell me what happened. When was this?”

She glared at him again and then stood up from her desk to leave the room.

Six quickly followed and grabbed her arm, stopping her in place. “I’m not going to let this go.”

Holiday took a deep breath and ripped her arm out of his grasp. “I can see that.”

“Why don’t you want to tell me?” he asked, annoyed at her attitude. “It can’t be that bad.”

“It’s just…” She wrapped her arms around herself, looking small and uncomfortable. “I was desperate, and I did something stupid, and I almost lost everything because of it.”

“But you didn’t lose everything.” He started to piece together different nuggets of information he’d been told over the past few months. “Is this when your sister was cured?”

Holiday sighed again and stared up at him. “...yes, it is.” She looked nervous for a moment, as if she was deciding what information she was willing to share. “I almost lost her. And…I almost lost you.”

“Me?” Six raised an eyebrow curiously.

She bit her lip for a moment and turned away from him, looking towards the door. “Moses had built a machine that could isolate the bonds of active nanites. I realized we could break them using your magnablades to reverse and amplify the-” Holiday cut herself off, realizing Six didn’t understand a lot of what she was saying. “It doesn’t matter. You used your magnablades to help her and the machine exploded and I thought you were both dead.”

Six stood there silently, not sure how to react. He definitely should’ve been told this story earlier, that was one thing he knew. He was also pretty sure he’d sacrificed himself for Holiday and not her sister, but that was neither here nor there. “Obviously we didn’t die. Is there something else you’re not telling me?”

Holiday brought a hand to her forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “It’s humiliating, Six, alright? I was fooled by Moses because it was Beverly’s birthday and I was feeling too emotional and-” She paused, annoyed at herself for ranting. “...and I didn’t even check his work. I didn’t trust myself to get it right. I didn’t look for any additional information, I just took his word and handed him my sister’s life. So I don’t like to talk about it. Doesn’t matter that it worked out in the end.”

He ground his teeth lightly, hands twitching in his pockets again. “He manipulated you, Holiday. That’s not your fault.”

“It is, actually,” she said while rubbing her forehead gently. “And I’m still dealing with the consequences of it.”

“I can go after him,” Six suggested. “Get your money back. Or at least give you an opportunity to punch him.”

She let out a short, hollow laugh. “I already did. A couple of times.”

He smirked, despite his annoyance that this was all kept from him for so long. He would’ve liked to see that. “Just say the word and he’ll be at your mercy.”

Holiday hugged herself again and Six noted that she did that a lot. Especially around him, and especially when he made her uncomfortable. He wondered if she’d always done that around him or if it was new.

She hadn’t said anything and he took a step closer, reaching out to grab her arm once more. “Holiday.”

“I don’t know,” she said quietly, turning around to face him. “I…it’s really not a good time, okay? Obviously I don’t want him to get away with what he did, but there’s too much else going on right now. We need to focus on finding Rex.”

He watched her face carefully, trying to figure out if she was being honest with him or not. Sometimes she was like an open book, but other times he couldn’t read her at all. She hid a lot from him, he knew that and tried to respectfully keep his distance, but he also found it unfair. She probably would’ve told the old Six the truth.

Six wanted to ask if she was sure; he wanted to reassure her that this wouldn’t interfere with their mission; he wanted to fight for her and do something for her that he would’ve done before the memory loss. He wanted to be there for her when she needed him to be.

But he also didn’t want to push it. If he pushed too hard, she might pull further away.

“If you’re sure.” He frowned and looked down at her hands. She still seemed nervous to him.

She took a deep breath and held a hand up while she spoke. “I appreciate this, Six, I really do. But he's been hiding out for the last three months. I doubt we could even get much of my money back.”

Six raised an eyebrow. He didn’t realize how recently this all happened - it would’ve been just before his memory loss, in fact. He wasn’t sure if that changed anything, but it made him even more curious about this being kept from him. It was a recent significant event where he did something heroic and saved Holiday’s sister. Why wouldn’t she want him to know about that?

Was she worried he’d get a big head? Maybe she thought he’d use that knowledge to try and get a date. He’d stopped acting flirty around her once he realized how important she was to him, but in those first few days it wouldn’t have been that strange an idea.

Instead of arguing, he simply nodded - though he knew he’d still be keeping tabs on the man. Just in case she changed her mind.

That didn’t fix the issue of her continuing to keep important information from him. Since they’d left Providence, Knight was back to telling him almost anything he asked. Bobo was always happy to share stories, though Six couldn’t vouch for their accuracy. Holiday, however, was still giving him some trouble. Cold shoulders, demands to stop asking, excuses about being too busy to talk.

She acknowledged his nod with a half-hearted smile and started to leave the room again, but Six wasn’t finished.

“Doctor, is there anything else you’re not telling me?”

Holiday sighed and looked at him again, clearly tired of the conversation. “What are you looking for, Six? I don’t have time to give you a detailed summary of every single day we spent together.”

He frowned. “Then just that day. When Beverly was cured. Did anything else happen?”

She blinked at him a few times, looking confused, and Six noticed the smallest hint of a blush on her cheeks (he was surprised he could see it at all in the light of the lab). That was interesting, though he couldn’t be sure what it meant.

“I…met your pink-haired friend. Sort of,” she mumbled, not looking at his face.

Six walked closer to her. “Five?”

“Yeah, that sounds right.” Holiday stared at his feet as he stepped closer. “She found Moses for us after he’d taken Beverly.”

“Hm.” That was nice of her. Six was surprised she didn’t bring it up when they’d fought just a short time later. Though he hadn’t given her much opportunity to chat. “Anything else?”

Holiday still wouldn’t look at him. “No. Not that I can think of.”

He took another step closer and found himself right in her personal bubble. There was still an inkling in the back of his mind that she was hiding something. He just had no way to prove it. He couldn’t even place exactly why he felt like there was more, but it was nagging at him. Still, he didn’t want to piss her off any more than he already had. “Alright.”

She looked up at him finally, and as Six stared into her green eyes - he was met with an expression of fear and unease that had his heart racing. She was definitely, absolutely, one-hundred percent hiding something. And he desperately wanted to know what, but the look in her eyes left him speechless. For whatever reason, she was afraid to tell him something and he might never know why. He wished he could know so he could rectify the situation and make her more comfortable around him. He wasn't sure if there was any possible way to do that.

Holiday glanced away and took her leave, pausing at the entrance to the lab in anticipation of Six stopping her once again. This time he let her go and just stood there in the middle of the room, feeling like an idiot.

With every question answered, he was just left with even more questions.

He sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets, wondering if he should’ve continued to push her. Maybe tomorrow he could try asking her again, see if she’d be more talkative after some sleep.

…probably not. But hopefully it wouldn’t hurt to try.

[hunterbunter3000]

Okay so, since Krueger is obsessed with Sweetheart. Does that make him a Yandere? I mean like after he first met her and is with her like lost puppy. Does one of the men’s notice his behavior?

Oh damn... I guess so? 🫢🫢🤔🤔🤔🤔 he does have yandere tendencies. Wow I guess I made him a Yandere 😭😭 BUT LIKE-- HE WOULDNT KILL JUST BECAUSE?? like "just because you talked to Sweetheart I wouldn't kill you immediately, I would just threaten you and be intimidating so you can back off and not make a move on my future wife." But if you hurt Sweetheart then yeah you're done. DONE.

And he isn’t the type to be “if I can’t have you, no one can” and kill off Sweetheart, or be the type to lock her in the basement or have sadistic punishments. GOD NO

He would throw up if he ever tHOUGHT of hurting Sweetheart like that. (He has gotten on his knees, legit sobbing like he lost a family member, and apologizing to her because he slapped her when she accidentally startled him— it was a reflex and Sweets understood but Kruger did not stop crying. And then he bought her a designer purse 💀) he’s just a really big love drunk guy that treats his future love like a fucking goddess.

He listens to Sweetheart only, (and Graves I guess because thats his boss) so whatever she says goes. She says to leave her alone? Alright I'll give you some space. (Even tho he would be crying) she says to beat up that guy cause he disrespected her capitan? Done and done. She says to stop threatening strangers that come up to her? ...eehhhh that's gonna be hard, but I'll do it.

He does it because he wants to please her. Like a lot.

It’s unhealthy how attached he is to her, but he’s still respectful. He doesn’t want to lose her, but he also doesn’t want to be alone anymore. Does that even make sense lol

But yeah, I guess he is a yandere. BUT LIKE A SOFT YANDERE WHO UNDERSTANDS SOME BOUNDARIES

And good lord, everyone notices every time Krueger is around. Especially König (since they're step-brothers in this) König has always seen Krueger act like this, but not to a person, so it was shocking to see that happen.

He's so restless and snappy when Sweetheart isn't around and always asks where she is and why she isn't here yet. And one time, Ghost is like "Calm down mate. She's just running some errands." And Krueger just tenses, and you can see in his body language that he's getting angry. "By herself? You let her go by herself!? Where? Which store!? Fuck!" And he storms out of the lounging area. That was when they all knew that Krueger had a different kind of love for Sweetheart. And was waaayyyyy different than them. They feel a bit awkward with him because they know he's unhinged and a bit psycho, especially when it comes to Sweetheart. He's a very skilled soldier and will not hesitate to rip and tear everyone that is around her in a heartbeat. And they know Krueger's distain towards them, except with Ghost, Roach and König, Krueger just toys around with him like the annoying big brother he is. With Ghost, he's kind of friends with because he knows that Ghost will sacrifice everything for Sweetheart just like him. And they also have somethings in common- like torturing people and watching football. (soccer) With Roach, Krueger likes him because he's quiet and has sadistic tendencies when it comes to fighting enemies.

(He doesn't like when Roach hangs off of Sweetheart tho)

He gets jealous and irritated easily when he doesn't get his way when Sweetheart is around them. Like with Soap, he HATES Soap so much omfg- that is his enemy. He sees how close they are to each other and sees how Soap touches her and vice versa (he has many violent fantasies when it comes to Soap. König knows about this and purposely makes him avoid the two when they are together) those two butt heads CONSTANTLY

Like one more word from that Scottish dumbass and he will put him under bro 💀

They see how clingy Krueger is when she gets back from a mission, especially a solo mission omg

He would just hug her from behind and sway back and forth, his hood draping over her head as well as his (the hood that she made him is huge) and Soap can hear him whisper praises to her and her giggles. He can also hear Krueger kissing Sweetheart. Where? He doesn't know. Hopefully, not on the lips. WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE TO ME WTFF

And Krueger will not. Let. Her go. AT ALL. Like if he comes over to their side of the base, Krueger takes allllll of the attention from her (I talked about this before) especially if they're taking a nap together, like he's sitting on the couch with Sweetheart cradled in his lap, asleep on his broad shoulder as his arms hold her. Gaz fucking hates when they take naps together, especially when he sees their breathing in sync (Like FUCK OFF) So one time, Gaz was sick of it. He reaches for Sweetheart but Krueger tightens his hold on her, and he growls so fucking low and animalistic like a damn rabid dog protecting its owner-- it legit scared him. (Especially when you can't see his face 💀) And Krueger just says, "mine." In the lowest voice Gaz has ever heard-- he just backs up and leaves (AND WASN'T HE SUPPOSED TO BE ASLEEP??? LIKE IS HE MAGICAL-)

Krueger is something else yall 💀 can't wait to write more of him with Sweetheart 🤭🤭

[rnisa]

Yo! So overall, given how these two look they're nooot exactly picky with appearances. The both of them value personality and loyalty, above all else. However, they DO have some physical preferences. I feel them both bisexual, so I've written them as such. All of these bullets are created with that in mind, even if one *seems* too specific (Like the makeup one might seem more feminine , but boys can wear makeup too) so don't assume I'm excluding one or the other and such. If there's anything that in my mind, is in fact gender-restricted, I will say so. But other than that please assume they're meant for everyone! Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, but I just wanted that to be clear for everyone to enjoy (:

As usual, I think I went sort of off-topic...just let me know if anything needs fixing;

Junkrat

Appearance:

Junkrat prefers people from average to taller heights. It's just more convenient and comfortable for him. No matter if you are on the taller side for your age and gender, you're still going to be shorter than him.

Long, wavy hair. Likes it out or braided if you're a woman, or tied up in a ponytail or bun if you're a man. Color is irrelevant, But secretly more into those on the black-dirty blonde scale.

ADORES freckles. Especially if you've got a lot, in a way that your body's covered with them.

Despite having tattoos himself, he'd like a partner that has few, or none at all.

Big titties. He's got a very long and lank body, and with how he's hunched over, he'll "accidentally" shove his face into his partners chest.

Likes to feel his partners muscles. Not saying you gotta be jacked or toned; it doesn't matter whether he can or can't see them. He just likes to feel them.

Enjoys a partner that wears makeup. Not every day, all the time, but at least once in a while. If you've got good makeup skills, he might ask you to do his makeup too. Wax his eyebrows.

Contrary to himself, likes a clean partner that practices good self-care. It helps to remind HIM that he should be doing better, so you'll be an important source for motivation. Clean hair, exfoliated skin, moisturizing, brushed teeth, and dressed nicely. Even comfortable casual outfits can be fashionable - he's just not fond of someone who would dress like a slob (hypocritical, yes. But having a cleaner partner, or even crush, would make Junkrat want to better himself. Being with someone just as filthy as he is wouldn't help either of you, as you'd only enable each other.)

Personality

Saying what he doesn't like would be arguably faster than what he does like, but I'll do both. Overall, he likes someone who will challenge him. If you're too passive, submissive, or just don't have any voice of your own, you won't interest him.

Likes someone who's headstrong and confident. Everyone all goes through those times where their self-esteem took a blow, but if you're perpetually seeking reassurance or have no faith in yourself, he won't be attracted to you. He likes someone who acts like they're the shit - even if they're not. I'm not talking about narcissism, I'm talking about someone who's just comfortable, and at peace with themselves. Like, whatever flaws you've got, yeah, you acknowledge. You're not perfect, but that's not stopping you from being content with who you are.

He will appreciate a partner with their own things that set them apart as an individual. He can get competitive, and likes to be surprised, especially if you've happened to one-up him. He'll be proud that you, his love, surpassed him - and that'll only make him try harder next time.

This is odd, and he wouldn't outright admit it, but... he's attracted to those who are perceived as high-maitenence, or diva-like. If you sort of ignore him at first (not to be mean, maybe you just avoid him cause his ass stank?) that'll make him more attracted to you. So eehhhh, if you have a crush on him first (God rest your soul..) and you approach him, if he doesn't know you as a FRIEND then he won't have that initial attraction (i.e., if he's not into you off the bat, befriend him first rather than asking him for a date as an acquaintance. Even if you DO meet each and every one of his physically attractive needs, it'll be difficult.)

Adding on to the above bullet, he likes the chase. Likes to work for someone. He feels like you'll be more valuable in the long run. The way he sees it is, if you're worth it, he'll wait. He'll chase you and not give up (unless you seriously tell him to fuck off and get a restraining order) because he wants to show you he means business.

Plus he's got a bit of trust issues. Headcanon that he's had others use him in the past (and he fell for it, each any every time) lie to him, pretend they love him, so he would steal them expensive things. In all these cases, those people approached him - which is why he prefers it the other way around.

Likes someone with a good moral compass. If he's planning on stealing some shit, go "Hey that's bad" and he'll get a boner appreciate you. Deep down, I believe that he does not want to be known as a "Junker" forever that he does not want to continue on heists, forever. Like with the appearance cleanliness I mentioned before, he wants a partner that he could just look to and go...hey, I want to be a better person for them.

Actions

Snorting while you giggle (bonus if your laugh is mad ugly)

Scrunching your face when you’re focused

Giving him a nasty look when he does something weird

Throwing off his shitty puns by giving a legitimate answer/debunking it

Roadhog

Appearance

Ass man. Thick thighs save lives. Mako likes them child-bearin' hips. He is very squishy himself, and leans towards those who are in the same boat. Whether you've got a little bit of chub, or a lot, Roadhog can't help but find it cute.

No hair color preference, but likes long, free-flowing hair on girls and men. Likes to run his fingers through their locks, trying styles (like braiding) as stress relievers, and such.

A bit of a size kink, so he has a preference to shorter partners - your width is irrelevant though.

Very attracted to plump bodies, especially belonging to those who are physically strong. Obviously, it’s unlikely that you’ll match him in strength, but he still enjoys it! <3

Mako finds glasses to be VERY sexy...so if you’ve ever felt self-conscious about your foureyes, just know that your boo Roadie will love’em. If he finds that you take them off during sex, he might request that you put them on, every now and then.

Has no preference for how you dress/style, but he does appreciate a partner that is able to express their personality through their clothing. If you’re shy and fit to societal norms/wear what everyone else is wearing (not because you like it, but because you’re afraid) it’s kind of a turn off. He, like Junkrat, loves someone who is confident in not only their own skin, but their clothing, too.

Piercings drive him wild. Any piercings. Even if it’s just your ears..though he wouldn’t object if you had any more. Surprise him by having a piercing (or a few) on your private areas and...he’ll likely be so flustered! Depending on your personality, he’d either be shocked and impressed, or he might have already figured you had that particular piercing. Hehe,

Personality

Independence is key. You two do not need to be breathing the same air in every waking millisecond of your relationship! He is introverted, and while he always enjoys his time with you by his side...he loves his alone time just as well. Don’t be up his ass (figuratively) all the time, and he won’t be up yours (figuratively). Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that, applies to him. You can’t get offended if he requests alone time; it will only stress him out, and he does not like drama. It’s nothing personal, he’s just so accustomed to the isolation that when with company for too long, he can get easily burnt out. I like to think of Mako more akin to a cat, whereas Junkrat a dog.

Assertiveness. You don’t need to be rude, but he does find it attractive when someone stands their ground. Likely impressed with those who handle problems in a civil manner!

Educated. Especially if it shows through your vocabulary. Prefers deep conversations on real-world topics more than smalltalk. He loves listening to you to begin with, but if you can propose a conversation with which he can really engage him, you’ll probably get him talking, too! For a man who’s normally quiet, you might release some hidden passion depending on the topics you choose to bring up.

Prefers a partner that can think for the future. He’s lost most of his hope in life, the future, etc... Having someone that will make plans with him (ex., “I can’t wait to do this with you someday!”, “We should go on a trip to Numbani in the future!”, “When we get married, do you think we should do it by the beach or indoors?”) gives him something to look forward to. That kind of phrasing also ensures him that you’re serious about him, and don’t plan on leaving soon.

Actions

Tilting your head like a puppy when you’re confused.

Having a smile that you’re trying to fight, but can’t.

Looking away when you’re embarrassed.

Hearing a question of concern from you (“Are you okay?”, “Is everything alright?”)

Quick moments where you touch (accidentally brushing against him, your hands accidentally touching)

Trying to lift something that’s really heavy by yourself, until he comes to try and help you.

[randoreviews]

AT THE KANYE CONCERT

     Oh jeez, this was... ten years ago? I’m talking peak Kanye. Hater blockers Kanye, when he wore those silly glasses that you can barely see out of... so you don’t see the haters, naturally. He came to town and me and another friend who likes rap and another friend who just is always up for a good time decided we wanted to go. We wanted to see Kanye, in real life. And we really saw him, because I had yet another friend (it’s good to have friends sometimes, it really is) who worked at the box office and he scored us tickets in like the tenth row.      It was the Glow in the Dark Tour. Or maybe it was the Glo in the Dark Tour. Big difference. If it was something like ten years ago, the math would mean I was in my mid-twenties, wondering what I was doing with my life, not having a clue. Now I’m in my mid-thirties, not having a clue. But at least I’ve seen Kanye. It had rained for some of the afternoon but turned into a beautiful summer evening. (Totally just made that up.) It was a nice evening, I do remember that. N.E.R.D. was the first opener and we caught some of them, and I remember Chris Brown was onstage with them dancing all crazily. He was probably maybe sixteen years old at the time, a fair amount of controversy still ahead of him. I must have been sober and not drinking or anything, because if it was my mid-twenties, hard to believe but I didn’t drink during my mid-twenties. From 22 to about 27. I was doing all this important “self-work” that has led me to be the incredibly successful person I am today who has everything figured out. Pharrell picked out two girls from the crowd to go up onstage, one of them being, rrr, well-endowed, and then when they got up there he realized how young they were, of high school age, and being in the tenth row I swear I could see him be like, shit, I don’t want to get thrown in jail, and he didn’t dance up on them or do what he normally did.       Rihanna was the next opener and she definitely had some good stage presence. My friend who is always up for a good time just stared at her in a trance the whole time. She was wearing black spandex and he liked that. I remember her sitting on a stool, singing away. Very brave! When I’m out in public and I’m placing an order at a restaurant, I’m scared to even speak much louder than a whisper. She must go to that place of doing her art, doing what she was put on earth to do. I can’t remember if the song “Umbrella” had come out yet, I think it might have, in which case she must have sang it with some umbrellas onstage.      There’s a line in that newer Taylor Swift song when she sings, “I... don’t... like your tilted stage.” Kanye did have a tilted stage on this tour, and I actually liked it a lot. The premise for his part of the show was that he was traveling through space, on a spaceship, lost in space maybe, and the stage was his spaceship. A lot of his songs seemed to tie into this outer space theme, like “Touch the Sky” and, rr, other ones. He too had a great stage presence because, you know, it’s Kanye. A lot of rap that I’ve seen live hasn’t been that good, usually because the beat is too loud and you can’t hear what the rappers are saying and it’s like twelve dudes onstage. But again, Kanye is his own thing. He’s more of a performer/pop star rather than just a regular old rapper. He was like James Brown up there, working hard, sweating. And I could really see that sweat, thanks to my friend who worked at the box office. Definitely the closest I’ll ever get to Kanye. I wondered how he was going to tie in his biggest hit at the time, “Gold Digger,” since he was supposed to be all by himself in outer space. Then he said, “Sometimes I just get so lonely out here by myself in space...” And then the big screen lit up with images of women wearing next to nothing except painted in gold. Of course. And the beat started.       As Americans, we all want to be famous, right? That’s the dream? When you’re growing up you just know you’re going to be really successful and exceptional somehow. And then you grow up and you’re like, eehhhh. I’ve been at the point for years now when it’s a pleasant surprise if anyone responds to my texts. So you would think Kanye had it all, that he’d made it, that he was where we all wanted to be. But being so close to him that night and watching him so closely, watching him sweat, it was like some kinda symbiosis happened, if that’s the word. I FELT all the pressure he was under. Like how am I gonna make the next hit? Where’s the next one coming from? How can we keep this going? It’s the kind of pressure that keeps driving you but it can make you go crazy too. And, not that he’s on Skid Row now, but he kinda really went crazy. The pressure was too much. It’s like Gaga said, it’s the Fame Monster. So maybe we should all just want to earn minimum wage and lead a very vanilla life? I don’t know. But that was what I remembered most. That and my friend trying to convince my other friend to moon the car of high school girls in front of us when we were stuck in traffic in the parking lot on the way out and I was the D.D. telling them please to not do it.