#carrofics

[neopuff]

always on my mind

chapter one: have an open mind ships: sasha/milla characters: milla, truman, sasha, oleander, sherri words: 5628 ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53435410

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The Motherlobe was huge. Intimidating.

Milla wasn’t sure the last time she’d seen such a large building. It looked lovely - well structured, seemed safe…fire-proof, even - but the size of it made her nervous. Like she was entering the belly of the beast.

The last two years of her life had been harrowing. The Psychonauts had come to her in a time of desperation and she was so moved by the help she’d received that she wanted to learn more and become a part of the organization herself. Truman seemed excited, said she was one of the fastest learners he’d ever worked with, and quickly made arrangements.

But she didn’t share his confidence. This was an entirely new environment she was entering - she was familiar with a few faces and names, but to almost everyone she was a stranger. A stranger who spent a very long time in psychoisolation and still felt jittery around an open flame.

Being out of Brazil was helpful, at least. After high school, she and some friends had spent a summer in Miami, so she had a little bit of experience in America. It would still take some getting used to, but Truman assured her that there were other international transplants working there and they all adjusted quickly.

As he and a mostly silent coworker landed the jet, Milla took a deep breath. 

She was ready. 

She wasn’t ready. 

She didn’t have a choice on whether or not she was ready.

“Milla?” Truman asked, taking a step closer to her.

She glanced up at him from her seat and smiled - he smelled like coffee and had a worried look on his face. “I’m fine,” she answered softly. “Just nervous.”

“Understandable.” He turned and gave a quick wave to the other Psychonaut that’d been in the jet with them, then turned back to Milla. “And I’m sorry I don’t have time to show you around, but I’ve arranged for one of our best and brightest to give you a tour and make sure you feel welcome!”

“Oh?” She’d been under the impression that she was just going to be thrown into the ring. Having a tour guide sounded nice. “Thank you, I appreciate that.”

“Of course! The Psychonauts are nothing if not welcoming!” Truman said with a smile, sounding like he was practicing for a commercial.

He guided her out of the jet; Milla comfortably levitated herself to the ground and found herself staring up at the Motherlobe once again. It was even more intimidating up close. So intimidating that it took her a few moments to notice the lanky man smoking a few feet in front of her.

Truman patted the man on the back. “I see you got my message, excellent!” He opened his mouth to say something else, but suddenly paused and pressed two fingers to the side of his head. He hummed softly for a moment, nodded, then looked back up at the two of them. “Sorry, I’m late for a meeting. Nein, Vodello - Vodello, Nein,” he said quickly, motioning to each as he said their name. “I’ll see you at noon for our lunch meeting!”

The two of them watched him levitate away and the air between them became suddenly, awkwardly silent as they took one another in.

Milla noticed first that he was tall, his skin was a greenish hue, he was levitating a cigarette near his head, and his mind was completely, one hundred percent silent. She felt comfortable around him almost immediately because of that. “Um…hello! Is it…uh, Nine?”

He cleared his throat and stuck out his hand stiffly. “Agent Sasha Nein. And your name is Camilla, correct?”

She gave him a small smile - it wasn’t the first time someone had pronounced her name like that - Ca-mee-yah - and in other circumstances she probably would have corrected him. She'd corrected Truman the first time they met and he was happy to call her Mee-la as she preferred. But Sasha's voice was shaking oh-so-slightly - despite his cool exterior and quiet mind, Milla could tell he was exceptionally nervous. Something about his demeanor told her that he didn’t expect this assignment and probably didn’t usually do this sort of thing. So she decided she’d let it go this time, maybe mention it to him later if they ended up working together a lot.

“That’s me!” she answered with a bright smile, reaching out to shake his hand. His handshake was as stiff as she expected, which made Milla think about how different this man was from Truman. She could tell she’d be meeting a lot of very different people over the next few hours.

Sasha pulled away and brushed his fingers through his short hair. “I have to admit I’m a little unprepared for this. But Grand Head Zanotto requested I give you a tour and answer any questions you have until your lunch meeting with him, so…do you have any questions before we begin?”

Milla pouted as she tried to think. She had a million questions, obviously, but didn’t want to jump the gun or scare this poor man into thinking she was more excitable than professional. “I think I’m a little too overwhelmed at the moment to form a single question.”

He adjusted his glasses and nodded. “I understand. I felt the same way the first time I came here.”

She smiled at him and followed as he motioned towards the door. It opened automatically and inside there was a small lobby with a few tables and chairs, a desk in the middle, and a…something in the back. Milla wasn’t sure how to identify it. Some sort of tunnel, maybe.

“I assume Truman didn’t get you scanned into our Thinkerprint system.”

Milla tilted her head. “I’m not sure what that means, so…probably not?”

Sasha ran his fingers through his hair again - he seemed to do that a lot. “It’s our new security system, you’ll get your picture taken, an employee badge, and your brain will be scanned so you can immediately gain access to any rooms you should have access to.”

“Oh, a photo?” She played with her hair, still a bit insecure about how short it was. She’d had long hair for most of her life, but after recent experiences it was easier to chop most of it off than try to revive it. “I don’t remember the last time I had my picture taken.”

He stared at her for a moment, looking like he wanted to make a comment, but instead he just took a drag of his cigarette. “You can retake the photo every six months if you’re unhappy with it.”

Milla ran her long fingers through her hair, embarrassed. “I might just do that,” she said with a little chuckle. She hoped that didn’t sound vain, but also thought he didn’t seem like the kind of person to take note of things like that.

They took a few minutes to get her set up in the system - Sasha didn’t lie, it was clearly very new because the woman at the front desk was not confident about it. She stumbled over herself and Milla assured her it was fine, but the woman kept glancing nervously at Sasha while she fumbled with the little scanner and Milla could feel a wave of discomfort coming off of her.

It was an interesting thing to notice. Milla wondered if they had history or if Sasha just intimidated people. He was a very stiff and serious man, as far as she could tell. It wouldn’t be surprising if people were scared of him.

A few minutes later and they were in the lobby of the Motherlobe - Sasha took another drag of his cigarette while Milla took in…everything. There were agents floating around, dozens of people chatting both out loud and telepathically. There were signs for normal office building features, but then there was also a bowling alley and a hair salon and she felt the smallest bit overwhelmed by it all. Not overwhelmed to the point of anxiety, but, well. It was a lot.

As she floated and spun around to take in the room, Milla noticed her tour guide out of the corner of her eye. He was eagerly reading a printed sheet of paper and she wondered if it had anything to do with her.

She planted her feet back on the ground and clasped her hands behind her back. “I should’ve asked this before we started…do you have any questions for me?”

Sasha looked up at her, surprised. He quickly folded the paper back up and stuffed it into one of his jacket pockets. “Grand Head Zanotto gave me some basic information about you. But I wanted to check something…you’re from Brazil, yes?”

“That’s right.”

“We don’t have a base anywhere in Brazil, so…where did you learn to levitate like that?” Sasha asked, pointing down at her feet which were currently not in the air. “Just from working with Grand Head Zanotto?”

Milla tilted her head slightly, trying to understand the meaning behind his question. “Ah…yes, I guess so. Am I doing it wrong?” she asked, floating up once again.

He shook his head. “Not at all. It’s very impressive, actually. From what I understand, you’ve only been training your psychic abilities for a few months.”

She smiled sheepishly and shrugged, trying to find a humble way to repeat what had been previously said to her. “That’s true. Truman did call me a fast learner, but I don’t really have anything to compare myself to so I assumed he was being polite.”

“He’s not one for servile flattery,” Sasha said matter-of-factly. “It took me years before I was so comfortable with levitation.”

“I suppose it’s my specialty,” she added. “Truman showed me other psychic powers I could develop, but most didn’t come so quickly.”

He nodded and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I’ve always been in tune with more offensive psychic abilities - PSI-blasting, pyrokinesis, that sort of thing. Are you familiar?”

Milla felt an unease come over her at his mention of firestarting and nervously played with her hair again. “Ah…I have trained on PSI-blasts. A bit. Not as much as shielding or telekinesis.”

There was an awkward pause between them before Sasha continued. “And what about pyro-”

“Outta my way, Nein!”

The two of them were interrupted by a short, orange-skinned man rushing through the lobby towards a door labeled Nerve Center. He paused in his rush as he noticed Milla, and took a step back to lift up his hat and introduce himself properly. “Hello, who’s this?”

Sasha scowled. “Morry. This is Camilla Vodello, Grand Head Zanotto’s newest recruit.”

Milla kept her face completely still as Sasha mispronounced her name again, and realized unfortunately that she’d just completely missed her opportunity to correct him without making it into a thing. She wasn’t exactly sure what to do about the situation, but decided there was no point in making a big deal. The way he pronounced it wasn’t unpleasant, so it was fine. She’d find an opportunity to correct him eventually. “Hello!” she said, waving down at the man.

“The name’s Morceau Oleander, nice to meet you, Camilla,” he said with a toothy grin. “I’d save you from Sasha’s boring tour if I wasn’t about to give the biggest presentation of my life!”

She was immediately curious and about to ask when Sasha cut in, using telekinesis to grab one of Morceau’s papers away from him and take a look at it. “What presentation might that be? Trying to steal important research funds for another one of your weapons projects?”

“Not this time!” he responded gleefully, taking a weight off of Milla’s mind that formed when Sasha mentioned weapons. “I’ve been reworking my summer camp program idea for the last few years, and it’s finally ready for Truman’s approval. There’s no way he’ll say no this time!”

Sasha shook his head slowly and Milla glanced between the two of them. “Summer camp program?”

“About five years ago, Morry here came up with the idea of starting a program for training young psychics to control their powers,” Sasha answered, interrupting an excitable Oleander. “The concept isn’t terrible, but he was rejected outright. There wasn’t enough interest or funding at the time.”

“But that’s all about to change!” Morceau added quickly. “There’s already talk about a teen intern program starting up, which means that’s all the more reason to start training even younger! Think about all the psychic incidents we can prevent if kids start learning how to use their powers before puberty!”

Milla tilted her head slightly. Though she understood his points, it was an odd way to phrase it. She didn’t quite know how she felt about the idea - anything to keep children safe was good in her book, but Morceau seemed very…intense.

“I’ve got a bunch of potential locations picked out - all in the middle of the woods, none of them too far from here that they’d be annoying to drive to.” Oleander reached out and grabbed the paper Sasha had taken earlier, stuffing it back under his arm. “After this presentation is over, Nein, get ready to lose your Youngest Psychonaut title! Maybe it’ll go to Abe’s daughter instead!”

Sasha shook his head. “It’s Ah-bey, not Abe. And Agent Bubai’s daughter is two.”

Milla pouted for a brief moment, hearing Sasha correct Morceau’s name pronunciation. She felt the urge to bring up her own name, but she still couldn’t do it. She’d waited too long and now he’d already introduced her to someone else, it’d be too uncomfortable. For everyone.

“Two, ten, what’s the difference? A psychic’s a psychic!” Morceau smiled again. “Anyway, can’t be late, stop distracting me, Nein! Camilla - don’t let him bore you to death, alright?”

“Ah…alright, I’ll make sure he doesn’t,” she answered awkwardly, not entirely comfortable with the level of banter between the two of them. She was honestly surprised that Sasha had such a relationship with anyone at the organization, considering how most people looked at him.

Oleander just laughed and continued to the Nerve Center, leaving the two of them alone again. Milla wondered if Sasha was going to circle back to the conversation they’d been having before, which she didn’t really want to go back to. She didn’t want to dump her traumatic history onto him in the first twenty minutes of knowing each other.

“I apologize for him. He’s…” Sasha paused, clearly trying to find a nicer way to say whatever was on his mind. “...excitable. But he means well. Generally.”

“It’s no problem!” Milla smiled. “I hope his presentation goes well.”

“Yes, well…Grand Head Zanotto is always open to new ideas. But Agent Forsythe will likely be there, too, and she’s more realistic about these sorts of things.”

“Has Truman been the Grand Head for long?” she asked curiously. “We got to know each other a bit over the past few months, but he didn’t tell me much about his history with the Psychonauts.”

Sasha adjusted his glasses and turned around, motioning one hand towards the sculpture in the wall. “I can give you a quick summary of our history.”

They walked over to the mural and Milla stepped close to take it all in while Sasha spoke. “These are the Psychic 6, founders of the Psychonauts. They came to this area in the 60s and opened the Motherlobe in early 1970. Grand Head Zanotto was recruited by the Psychic 6 before they’d officially opened, knowing they needed someone with his background to help.”

“His background?”

“He has an MBA and spent several years working at a large pharmaceutical company before this. None of the Psychic 6 were as…business-minded.” Sasha took another drag of his cigarette, frowning at the realization that it was almost done. He didn’t want to smoke as often as he did, but being thrown into a potentially stressful social situation had warranted it.

Milla nodded, looking at each person depicted in front of her. “Are they all still working here?”

Starting from the left, Sasha answered, “Otto Mentallis - yes, he still works here. His lab is across the Quarry. Compton Boole - his situation is complicated. He is still in the area and occasionally participates in Psychonauts-related activities. Mostly he spends his time in psychoisolation.”

“...is that so?” Milla responded thoughtfully. She was reminded of her own time in psychoisolation and how much she’d love to never go back.

“Ford Cruller - also still works here. But not as a Psychonaut. He was psychically injured in the Battle of Grulovia and can’t maintain his focus for very long. But you’ll likely see him around, in the bowling alley or the hair salon. Or the mailroom, even.”

Milla was confused by that, but kept her mouth shut. She knew bits and pieces about the Battle of Grulovia - she was a teenager when it happened and didn’t pay too much attention to world news, but the reports on that conflict were the first time she’d heard the word Psychonaut.

“Bob Zanotto - the uncle of Grand Head Zanotto.” Sasha frowned, knowing the full story of Bob’s departure even though he hadn’t joined yet at that time. “He no longer works here. Helmut Fullbear - died in the Battle of Grulovia.”

“Oh.” Milla’s eyes focused on the linked arms between Helmut and Bob’s images and she immediately understood what it meant. Her shoulders sank. “That’s terrible.”

Sasha adjusted his sunglasses again, realizing that Milla already noticed something that it took him several months to understand. She was definitely more of a people person than he’d ever been. “And Cassie O’Pia - no longer here. But we still utilize her methods.”

In a sudden mood change, Milla brightened. “Ah, she wrote Mindswarm, right? Truman gave me a copy of that book when we first met. It was eye-opening.”

“Yes, yes she did. She has an exemplary psychic mind,” Sasha noted. “I hope to meet her someday, if she ever comes back.”

They spent the next twenty minutes circling the lobby, Sasha explaining what he could about each location they could see and introducing her to anyone who came up to ask who she was. Milla thought back to the woman at the front desk who seemed helplessly nervous in front of Sasha and was happy to see that the agents they’d interacted with so far didn’t seem to have that same fear. A lot of them made jokes that led to Sasha’s frown deepening, but at least they were attempting to be friendly with him.

He guided them up a ramp and Milla was immediately distracted by a gigantic and beautiful fish tank to their left. She smiled at all the colorful fish swimming around. “This is lovely!” she said genuinely.

Sasha nodded, though he clearly didn’t have the same level of enthusiasm that she did. “The Psychonauts used to have some underwater locations. When they were closed, this aquarium was built to remind displaced agents of their previous offices.”

Milla chuckled at that. “An underwater office sounds a bit scary, if you ask me.”

“I agree,” he said.

The monotone in his voice made her think that he might’ve worked at one of those underwater bases for a period of time. Milla decided she would not be asking him about that, just in case it was a sore subject.

“My office is just up this way.” Sasha likely didn’t intend to sound proud, but it seemed like he had a pretty big office, and that was impressive for someone of his age.

(At least, Milla thought it’d be impressive for his age. She couldn’t completely gauge how old he was.)

They approached the end of the hallway and found three doors staring back at them. Milla glanced at each and turned towards her guide. “Some other offices, I’m guessing?”

“Agent Hollis Forsythe is in the office next to mine,” he answered quickly. “Though I doubt she’ll be here for long.”

“I’ve definitely heard that name before…iIs she leaving?”

“Not at all. She’s been with the Psychonauts even longer than I have, and Grand Head Zanotto has been discussing promoting her to some sort of Vice Head position. I don’t believe it has an official name yet.” He shrugged. “Grand Head Zanotto has been…struggling a bit. With balancing his work and home life.”

“Oh, yes, he mentioned that to me at one point,” Milla added. She understood at the time that Truman was just trying to relate to her and get her to trust him; she didn’t realize until much later that he’d been telling her the truth. “That he and his wife were, um…having issues.”

“Yes, well…” Sasha paused, not sure if the news was out yet, but also not really caring if he wasn’t supposed to say anything. “Now his wife is pregnant.”

“Ah.” Milla wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. She remembered all the things Truman had said about his relationship with his wife, and she didn’t think a baby would be able to fix their problems. Still…it wasn’t her business.

“Despite what Morceau thinks, Grand Head Zanotto’s child will likely be the one to take the title of Youngest Psychonaut away from me,” Sasha said with a slightly humorous tone.

“I wanted to ask about that…how old were you when you joined?” Milla asked curiously.

“Nineteen,” he answered quickly, like he expected this question to come up at some point. “I first learned about the Psychonauts after the Battle of Grulovia - I don’t know how well that was reported in Brazil, but I was still living in Germany at the time and Grulovia is only a few borders away. From there I earned enough money to come to America and sought out the Psychonauts myself.”

Milla nodded along, curious about the details but not wanting to pry. “So you weren’t recruited?”

Sasha shook his head. “My psychic powers manifested at a very young age, well before the Psychonauts were founded. Before joining, Mindswarm was the closest thing I had to a psychic instruction manual.”

She nodded again, not quite sure how to respond. Milla thought it was sad, the way he spoke sounded very disconnected and unemotional, but she wondered if that was his way of coping with something unfortunate. She knew not to ask, though, and kept those thoughts to herself. “Everyone’s experience with joining seems very unique.”

“Indeed.”

As she was about to say something else, Sasha guided her into his office - which turned out to be sort of a combination office and laboratory. Milla wasn’t surprised, he spoke very scientifically, occasionally using words that she had to think about for a moment before understanding.

“There isn’t really much here for me to show you. Many of my projects are classified and I’ve not been made aware of what you have access to yet.” He glanced around, eyes landing on his small office space. He used telekinesis to open a drawer and pulled out a new pack of cigarettes, bringing them over. “If you do ever need anything from me, you can generally find me here.”

Milla smiled brightly at that, more appreciative of the offer than he probably realized. “I just might take you up on that, Agent Nein!”

He ran his fingers through his hair again and tried to think of what else he could show her. “You may have seen that across from this wing there’s a lot of construction going on - previously it was just used for storage, but we’re adding more offices and a classroom down that way.”

They left his office while talking, headed back towards the lobby.

“A classroom? For the…teen intern program?” she asked.

“The intention is for use in Continuing Psychic Education,” Sasha answered, pulling out one of his new cigarettes and psychically lighting it without a second thought.

Milla twitched slightly at the sudden smell of fire, but quickly shook it off. It wasn’t the same.

“CPE is a new program, but important. Making sure that older psychics keep up with new abilities or skills that younger psychics have discovered or developed.” He took his first drag of the new cigarette, inhaling slowly like it was a significantly better experience than the last one. “No one is too old to learn new skills, after all.”

Milla had never smoked cigarettes herself. She smoked marijuana when she was a teenager, but quit all of that when she started working at the orphanage. The orphans were her everything - she gave up partying and anything adjacent to the party lifestyle when she was working there. It’d been the most fulfilling part of her life, by far.

She hoped that working with the Psychonauts would prove just as fulfilling.

The two of them made their way back into the lobby after Milla took another minute to admire the aquarium. As they entered, Milla noticed an older man handing out letters outside the mailroom and pointed him out to her guide.

“That’s Ford Cruller, one of the Psychic 6 I mentioned earlier.” Sasha stared at the man. “I could introduce you, if you’d like, but I can’t guarantee he’ll remember you.”

“It’s worth a shot, right?” Milla asked cheekily. “I like to think I’m pretty memorable!”

She floated towards the mailroom, and Sasha followed her after taking another long, long drag from his cigarette.

They were just a few feet away from Ford when two agents chatting nearby mentioned the time, and Milla glanced up at the nearest clock. “Oh, it’s already noon!”

Sasha followed her line of sight, almost like he didn’t believe her. “So it is. That was a quick two hours. But you should head to the Noodle Bowl for your meeting with Grand Head Zanotto, he probably has another meeting right after.”

“The Noodle Bowl…” Milla repeated, looking around. “Can you remind me where that is?”

He pointed directly behind them and Milla turned around to see the giant sign above the doorway that he’d shown her just an hour earlier. She smiled sheepishly. “Thank you, Sasha. Er, Agent Nein. Or…I’m so sorry, I never actually asked.” Milla felt terribly rude at that moment, though she had a distinct feeling that he didn’t care either way.

“Either is fine,” he answered, smoking again. “I hope your meeting goes well, Agent Vodello.”

Before she could really say anything else, he headed off - right back towards his office. She also noted that that was her first time being referred to as Agent Vodello, and she definitely liked the sound of it. Even though she wasn’t really sure if she counted as an Agent just yet; it was hard to know exactly where she stood until she talked to the person in charge. 

She caught one last glimpse of Sasha before he was gone. Milla thought he seemed nice, though not the most personable, and wondered in a brief bout of insecurity if he found the task of guiding her around annoying. She hoped he didn’t have a bad time, at the very least.

But rather than get caught in a loop of self-deprecation and anxiety, Milla took a few deep breaths and made her way towards the lunchroom. Truman was already seated inside and waved her over as soon as he noticed her. She floated towards him and took a seat, surprised to see that there was already a rice and veggie bowl sitting in front of her.

“I took the liberty of ordering for you - hope you like cilantro!” Truman said with a smile.

Milla didn’t get the chance to answer before he continued, though she was excited to eat since she did love cilantro.

“How was everything so far? Good? Interesting? Was Agent Nein helpful?” he asked, shoveling rice from his own bowl into his mouth.

“Ah…yes, it was very interesting! And Agent Nein was extremely helpful. He answered every question I had in detail, and helped me sign up in the Thinkerprint system.” She ate her food much more slowly - it didn’t take a genius to realize that he was probably already thinking about his next meeting. She couldn’t imagine having such a busy schedule.

“Oh good, that’s great to hear!” Truman smiled, a little bit of cilantro stuck between two of his teeth. “He’s not the most social, but I know how much you appreciate a quiet mind.”

Milla nodded thoughtfully. “It was pleasant, I couldn’t get a thought or feeling out of him. Almost made me feel like my old self again,” she said quickly. “And how was your meeting this morning?”

“Excellent! Exciting, even,” he answered quickly. “Well, first there was a not-so-exciting financial meeting with Agent Forsythe. But then another one of our agents came to me with a project idea that I’m really looking forward to working on. It’ll be a big undertaking, but certainly worth the effort if all goes well.”

“Was that Morceau’s summer camp idea?” she asked. “Sasha and I bumped into him earlier and he told us about it.”

“Oh, good, you already know!” Truman took another few bites, and then finally took a sip of his water. “We’re already in the process of building a classroom for training, but it’ll be more useful if we have younger psychics studying and training here.”

“Is it, um…” She took a moment to collect her thoughts. “Did Morceau’s plan seem…safe? For the children, I mean.”

“Oh, yes,” Truman answered, nodding. “Agent Oleander spent a lot of time talking about safety. Especially prioritizing keeping their brains safe, making sure none of the kids get overloaded by all the psychic exposure.” He took a moment to eat again, then added, “He comes from a military background, so I recommended he bring some…softer agents as other camp counselors. For balance, of course.”

She sipped her water slowly, thinking carefully about her response.

“I wouldn’t ask you to help, of course, not so soon after…but if you have any suggestions or recommendations for making sure it’s a kid-friendly environment, let me or Agents Forsythe or Oleander know! We’re still in very early planning stages, it’ll probably be several years before this camp is fully realized.”

“Thank you,” she answered, appreciating his discretion towards her situation. Part of her knew she’d really enjoy working with children again, but…she didn’t think she was ready. Maybe by the time they opened the camp, she would be, but who could say for sure? “I also…I wanted to say I’m sorry about your uncle’s husband.”

Truman froze, fork in his mouth, clearly not expecting that. He put the fork down and cleared his throat. “I appreciate that. Sasha told you all the details of the battle, did he?”

“Not exactly, but he did tell me about the Psychic 6 and showed me the mural in the lobby.” Milla took another bite. “He was about to introduce me to, ah…Agent Cruller, I think it was, but then we realized I was running late.”

“Ford, right. Yeah, he pops up all over the place. Something, something…his psyche was shattered, basically, during all that unpleasantness.” Truman recited the information with some disconnection; it was clearly a sad subject for everyone. “If you do want to learn more, Otto Mentallis is the best man to talk to. Sanest of the six and works just across the water!”

“Sasha mentioned as much, but it’s good to know!” Milla smiled. “I’ll try to focus on the present for now - perhaps I’ll talk to him another time.”

They continued to chat for another few minutes before Truman paused and put two fingers to his forehead, just like he had that morning. He grimaced and let out a deep sigh. “Sorry for cutting this short, but I think I need to go talk to my wife. Hollis is saying she’s on the phone waiting for me!” he said with an insincere laugh.

“No problem,” Milla answered, only halfway done with her food. “I’ll be fine on my own for a while!”

“Excellent,” he said with another toothy smile, cilantro still awkwardly there. “Introduce yourself around, Agent Vodello, everyone here is very nice. We’ll talk more when I’m free again.” And with that, he levitated out of the room.

She stared out of the Noodle Bowl, taking another bite of her food. After a moment, Milla realized she forgot to congratulate him on the pregnancy - but then decided it wasn’t necessary. He didn’t mention it to her, so she’d pretend she didn’t know about it yet.

“Hi there!”

Milla turned her head to find a woman with yellow skin and long red hair smiling at her. “Oh, hello!” she responded, taking another bite from her bowl.

The woman sat down next to Milla and leaned forward on her elbows. “You’re Camilla, right?”

Once again, pronounced how Sasha was saying it. Milla wasn’t sure she had any way to turn things around without making Sasha look like a fool. “That’s me,” she answered.

“I’m Sherri!” she said excitedly, running a hand through her hair. “I noticed you walking around with Agent Nein earlier - now, yeah, he’s a super smart guy. Very knowledgeable. But you seem cool and fun, and he doesn’t know anything about cool or fun. So I’d be happy to show you around some other areas of the Motherlobe when you’re done.”

Milla blinked a few times at that, not sure if she was offended on Sasha’s behalf or if she agreed. He didn’t seem like the kind of person who cared about cool or fun, but Sherri was right - Milla liked to have fun. It would be nice to get to know some other Psychonauts who shared some of her interests. So she decided to take the compliment and the offer. “Oh, yes, thank you - that’d be very nice.”

[darksaiyangoku]

RWBY: Dante's First Cookie

Ruby: Come on, Dante. Eat your carrofs.

Dante: Bleh!

Ruby: Vergil isn't complaining. *turns to Vergil* Aren't you, sweetie?

Vergil: *noms on carrots*

Ruby: Such a good boy! *headpats*

Vergil; *smiles*

Dante: *folds arms and poubts* Hmph!

Jaune: Dante, carrots are good for you. *grabs spoonful of carrots* Here comes the aeroplane.

Dante: *shakes head* Bleh!

Raven: *arrives through portal* Hey there Red. Goldie.

Ruby: Oh! Hey Aunt Raven.

Jaune: Do you ever use the door?

Raven: So, how are my little cuties doing? *smiles*

Ruby: *sighs* Not great. Vergil's started to eat carrots, but Dante won't even touch them. Look.

Dante: Bleh!

Raven: *giggles* Stay back, I got this. Dante, I have a surprise for you~

Dante: *looks up* Hm?

Raven: Look! *takes out cookie from her bag* it's a chocolate chip cookie! I baked it myself.

Dante: *smiles*

Jaune: Raven, no!

Raven: What? One little cookie isn't gonna hurt him. *turns to Dante* Say 'ah', dear.

Dante: Ah. *munches cookie*

Jaune: *sighs* Well, there goes my plan to break the Rose cookie curse.

Ruby: Face it, darling, you knew that was impossible when we got married. It's here to stay.

Dante: *nibbles cookie*

[lettheladylead]

running in circles

chapter twenty-one: i wanna know me like you do summary: Goldie visits Duckburg after a long, long absence. warnings: references to sex, nothing explicit wordcount: 4710 playlist (will be updated as chapters are posted): shorturl.at/bfBCQ ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33776632/chapters/91579945

here’s chapter twenty-one!! text will also be included in this post for those of you that don’t use ao3:

1949; Duckburg:

On her trip from China to Iran to France to Canada to Calisota, Goldie had plenty of time to catch up on some of the things she’d missed.

First big thing: there’d been another World War. Alright. That one thing contained a lot of little pieces of information and she spent a nine-hour flight just trying to learn as much as she could about it. It certainly explained all the fear and anxiety from the Chinese civilians she’d interacted with.

Second big thing: the planes she’d been a passenger on were much nicer than they used to be. Felt safer and more comfortable. So some significant technological advancements had happened. Goldie wondered if Scrooge had anything to do with any of that.

She’d looked him up when she got to France, happy to browse the French newspapers since it was a language she’d been familiar with since her childhood. She found an article about Scrooge investing in some German airship that crashed and killed a bunch of people. She found articles about how Scrooge, as of 1947, was the second-richest man in the world. How did they determine something like that? It seemed like it’d be a hard number to come up with out of the blue.

But still, she was happy for him. That was what he wanted, after all.

It was frustrating to hear about how well he was doing, though. Goldie didn’t want him to be a miserable sack of pathetic nothingness, but she had hoped her being out of his life for such a long time would at least have thrown him off his game. She didn’t see anything from the mid- to late-1930s that indicated he’d had a meltdown of any sort, so...she supposed he didn’t care all that much.

Privately, she hoped he’d hid it well.

---

Goldie wandered through Duckburg with a hollow feeling in her chest. The whole town looked so different than the last time she’d been there. There were new stores and shops everywhere, so many cars, so many more people. But Scrooge’s mansion on top of the hill and his giant money bin looked exactly the same.

It reminded her that Scrooge wasn’t someone who liked to change. He’d be the same old Scrooge she’d known for fifty years.

She paused in her stroll as the number fifty repeated in her head.

Fifty years was a long time. She’d known Scrooge for more than half her life.

Goldie turned and looked in a nearby window, seeing how long her hair had gotten. Her bangs had grown out completely and it made her feel weird to see a hairstyle she hadn’t sported since she was a teenager.

As she glanced down at her torn and ratty clothes, Goldie figured she should at least make herself presentable. It wasn’t like she was trapped anymore. She could go shopping and eat nice food and get a haircut before barging back into Scrooge’s life. From all the reading material she found, it didn’t seem like he had a wife or anything, but that didn’t mean he was alone. She wanted to show him the same face he’d fallen for so many years ago.

It was hard to put off seeing him any longer, but Goldie figured an extra hour or two wouldn’t make much of a difference.

---

Scrooge McDuck was old and tired.

At the tender age of eighty-two, he’d been all around the world, collected hundreds of treasures and artifacts, he’d traveled to dozens of different dimensions and made friends and enemies in each and every one of them. He’d climbed mountains and found sunken ships. He routinely fought off evil witches who appeared out of nowhere and he regularly dealt with a gigantic family of criminals who were trying to steal his fortune.

Since he started out as a poor foreign boy trying to make it in America on his own, Scrooge definitely considered himself a success story.

That being said, despite all his riches and businesses - he fixed his family’s ancestral castle and he had his own butler! - Scrooge felt like he was missing something.

He knew what it was. He knew who it was. But she’d died over a decade ago and Scrooge hadn’t even considered the possibility of moving on. He’d known since the 1910’s that no one would ever make him feel the same way that Goldie did. 

Scrooge sighed and walked over to his desk, pulling out a thin, white envelope with his name scribbled across the front. Thinking about Goldie always made him want to reread her letter. It was hard, but when he’d first received it he spent months thinking about it every…single…day.

“Mr. McDuck? Here’s your mail.”

“Just put it on the pile,” Scrooge scowled and waved a dismissive hand at his butler. “All a bunch of bills ‘n charities beggin’ for my money!”

“Actually, sir…” Quackmore said hesitantly. “There’s something new today.”

“And what’s that?”

“...a handwritten letter from Miss O’Gilt.”

Scrooge’s head whipped around and he stared at the envelope in his butler’s hands. After a few seconds of hesitation and anxiety, he forewent all his paperwork and grabbed it, gripping the edge of the envelope roughly.

Quackmore didn’t say anything as Scrooge held the envelope up to the light of the window, trying to see through it. It was obviously just a piece of paper inside. But a piece of paper could still contain a lie or a con. There was no way to say one way or another without opening it up.

“...would you like me to leave, sir?” Quackmore asked.

Scrooge sighed and held the envelope in both hands. “I got a letter from Goldie once before. Only once.”

Quackmore didn’t respond, assuming Scrooge wasn’t interested in a two-way conversation.

“I didnae read it. Didnae even look at it. I just assumed her words would be cruel and awful so I threw it in the snow and never looked back.” Scrooge ran his thumb over his name, the ink smearing a little bit. “I cannae do that again. But...what could she possibly be writin’ me about?”

His butler frowned and felt the urge to comfort Scrooge, though he quickly ignored that urge and straightened his back again. “There’s only one way to find out, sir.”

“Right. Of course,” Scrooge mumbled. He glanced at the address the letter came from and frowned. “Mongolia? She’s...still there? After two years?” His brain started overthinking and Scrooge wondered if her ‘contact’ from their Gobi Desert adventure was more than just a ‘contact’. Maybe she got married and moved there and this letter was just her way of breaking the news!

Quackmore shifted his feet awkwardly as he watched his boss having a brief mental breakdown. “Um...sir?”

Scrooge shook his head and looked up. “Yes?”

“...the letter?”

“O-oh. Right, yes.” He was visibly nervous as he tore the edge of the envelope. He knew he was thinking too hard. Was Goldie the type of person to settle down? No, of course not. And if she was, then...why would she always be popping into Scrooge’s life? He didn’t really think he was her dirty little secret. If anything, she was his!

Scrooge pulled the letter out of its envelope and frowned at himself. No, she wasn’t his secret. He genuinely loved her and if she really loved him and wanted him to, then he would parade her around the world for everyone to see. But she didn’t, so he wouldn’t.

He unfolded the paper and felt his heart jump at the date in the corner. The letter was written two years ago. She wasn’t still in Mongolia, then. So why did it only send now?

Not wanting to lose to his anxieties, Scrooge finally started to read Goldie’s words. The letter wasn’t long, but it said a lot. A lot more than he ever imagined getting from her.

Quackmore desperately wanted to know what the letter said, but continued to stand there because Scrooge hadn’t dismissed him properly and he knew from Goldie-related experiences that his boss might need a drink or to go for a drive immediately after. She had a hold on him that Quackmore did not understand, but he was never one for romance. Still, he was curious. And his curiosity only grew when Scrooge started to laugh.

“...Mr. McDuck?” Quackmore asked.

Scrooge had covered his eyes with one hand and started laughing while he put the letter down on his desk. His laugh sounded hollow and pained, and as he pulled his hand away Quackmore could see his boss was crying.

Unable to stop himself, Quackmore grabbed the letter and scanned it quickly before Scrooge could take it away from him.

“Oh...Mr. McDuck, I’m so sorry,” he said quietly, putting the letter back down. “Are you, um...do you need anything?”

Scrooge’s shoulders were shaking and he was staring up at the ceiling, unable to stop himself from crying and unable to get up from his chair. He felt like he was going to pass out. “Of course Goldie manages to break me again!”

Quackmore frowned.

“Even from the afterlife, she just…” Scrooge leaned forward and grabbed the letter again. “...she just completely...she always knows how to ruin me.”

Listening to his boss was making him feel anxious, so Quackmore finally decided to leave the room. “I’ll go get you something to drink.”

Scrooge didn’t respond and just read Goldie’s words over and over again. He couldn’t stop. Every curve and angle in her handwriting was captivating and he never wanted to look away. He wished so much that he could’ve seen her one last time.

Scrooge -

If you’re getting this, I’m probably dead. I can’t really explain how or why because I don’t know yet. But I’m about to do something a bit stupid and dangerous, so I thought I should write a little something for you just in case I never come back.

I hope you know that I love you. I really do. Despite everything, I always enjoy waking up next to you and listening to you talk in your sleep. I miss you when we’re not together. And we aren’t together often, so...I miss you a lot.

This is turning into a lot of sappy bullshit. I guess potentially being on death’s door will do that to a person. I don’t know. Maybe I won’t be dead, maybe I’ll just be lost. But don’t waste your time trying to find me. I know you've got better things to do with your time.

Alright, this is getting long. I was supposed to keep it short and sweet, but thinking about saying goodbye to you is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I guess I should've known, you've been the biggest part of my life and I wouldn't be who I am without you.

XOXO

GG

For days, Scrooge had thought the letter was a trap.

He didn't understand what the trap could be or where Goldie was or why she'd sent him a letter that was so...emotional and heartbreaking, but he didn't want to believe that Goldie could be dead. She'd survived so much and the idea of her just throwing it away to chase some dangerous scheme was a bit too much for him.

For over a year, Scrooge assumed Goldie was still alive and would come back any day. She'd sent the letter to goad him, and when he didn't respond she would have to come get him herself.

After all that time with no response, Scrooge finally took a trip back to Dawson. Her properties were still there and he knew she spent a decent amount of time in town. But the Blackjack employees were no help. They hadn't seen her in years.

Years.

It was at that point, in 1936, that Scrooge had finally started to accept the reality. Goldie O'Gilt was most likely dead. She was dead and...she loved him. Actually, genuinely loved him. Why did he have to learn both things at the exact same time? Was there anything in the world more cruel than that?

There was still a little part of him that was holding onto the ‘most likely’ and all the (many) questionable parts of Goldie’s letter, so for two more years Scrooge checked in on her hotel every other month just to see if they’d heard anything. Each time they had not. And eventually the woman at the front desk said she’d checked the other hotels, and Goldie hadn’t been at any of them, either.

Scrooge faltered at the concept of other hotels. Then he thought back to his and Goldie’s conversations over the years and realized he’d thought she was exaggerating her own success or lying to get into fancy parties. But when he looked into it, it seemed that...Goldie did own a few hotels. All around the world. And they were nice. He had a brief moment of frustration when he realized he could’ve been staying in her hotels, probably for free, when he was on business trips in those cities.

He sighed and laid his head down on his desk. 

By 1938, Scrooge had given up. Goldie was dead somewhere in Mongolia, which was foreign and empty and vast and they’d never be able to find her, and he would never see her again.

Scrooge was sad. More than that, he was depressed. He had a lot of regrets when it came to Goldie and he’d never had someone so close to him die before. There were so many unanswered questions and things unsaid and he needed to talk to her again! But he couldn’t. And when Quackmore mentioned needing a day off to go to his brother’s funeral, Scrooge was hit with an idea that would get him back on his feet.

He needed to give Goldie a funeral.

He didn’t know anyone else that knew her (not the way he knew her, at least). And if he was being honest, he just wanted this to be between them. A quick flight up to Dawson, a visit to the old cabin, a glass of whiskey and a few goodbyes. That’s all he needed.

When that was done, Scrooge did his best to focus and get Goldie off his mind. For years, he didn’t think about love or romance. When his sisters visited or he visited his parents and they all harassed him about a wife and kids, he brushed them off like they were fools. He didn’t need any of that.

So in the far off year of 1949, when the doorbell rang one Saturday afternoon while Scrooge was in the kitchen with some guests, he absolutely could never have guessed who would be on the other side.

---

The man who answered the door was the same butler from last time. Goldie thought he looked a lot older, but she supposed that was because...he was. Still young, though, maybe forty? He definitely wasn’t old. Not like Scrooge. And not like her.

She was glad she’d stopped for new clothes and a haircut before coming over, though, because the butler’s face was absolutely hilarious.

“M-Miss...O’...Gilt?!”

Goldie crossed her arms over her chest and stuck out her hip. The mid-length skirt she’d picked out was flowing nicely in the breeze and definitely gave her more of an entrance. “That’s me. Is Scrooge here?”

“He’s...I don’t, um…” Quackmore looked concerned and confused, looking at Goldie, then back into the manor, then back to Goldie again. “I need to...just, uh…pardon me, but…” He suddenly reached out and poked Goldie in the shoulder, then recoiled his arm as she glared. “My apologies. Please give me a minute.”

He shut the door in her face and Goldie pouted. Rude. She politely came to the door and rang the bell and he just shut her out?

She leaned to the left to try and look in the window, seeing a silhouette that was definitely probably Scrooge and the silhouette of his butler. There was some conversation happening, but she couldn’t hear a word of it. Then Goldie saw another silhouette and wondered who that could be. Scrooge’s new girlfriend? Maybe. Seemed unlikely. But it would explain the door in her face.

The silhouettes seemed to freeze for a moment, then the shadow she recognized as Scrooge ran out towards the front door. In only a second, the front door was open again and she was face-to-face with the man of the house.

He didn’t look much older. Maybe he’d found another fountain of youth or something. But seeing his face again did make her heart skip a beat. Several beats. It was beating so fast that she couldn’t hear it anymore. Her arms dropped to her sides and she felt suddenly very nervous. Especially since he hadn’t said a single word since he laid his eyes on her.

Scrooge’s face was unreadable. Over the years she’d figured him out and gotten used to all his little quirks and expressions. But at that moment, Goldie didn’t know what to expect. She didn’t know what was going on in his head. Was he mad? Had he thought she was dead? Had he...read her letter?

“...Goldie,” Scrooge said finally. He stepped forward and put a hand against her cheek, cradling her face. “Is it really you?”

She sunk into his hand, her heart jumping into her throat as she realized how long it’d been for him since they were last together. “Who else would it be?”

He breathed out a short laugh and stepped even closer, bringing their foreheads together. “Goldie girl…” Scrooge’s other hand came up and cupped her other cheek. 

Being held by him made Goldie feel safer than she had in years.

“I thought...I...where were you? It’s been so long.”

“I was away,” she mumbled, trying to ignore the warm feeling spreading throughout her chest and failing miserably. “Not on my own terms. But...now I’m back.”

“You are,” he answered, his eyes sparkling. “And you look even younger than the last time I saw you.”

“The power of a good haircut,” Goldie laughed. She moved her hands to his shoulders while he continued to hold her face. “So are you gonna kiss me or what?”

Scrooge smiled brightly, but he had the beginnings of tears in his eyes. “First, I, um...we should talk about your, uh...your letter-”

“Mmm, no,” she said quickly, cutting him off. “You should forget about that and kiss me and invite me inside.”

With a sigh - a happy sigh, Goldie noticed - Scrooge obliged and pulled her beak to his for their first kiss in a long, long time. For her...she’d waited longer. But the longing in his kiss was contagious and Goldie felt herself yearning for him as if she’d felt all sixteen years pass. She’d missed him so much in such a short amount of time...if his feelings were anywhere close to hers, then he must’ve been miserable.

If being the key word. But he certainly didn’t not miss her.

“SCROOGE! Where’d you go?!”

Goldie and Scrooge separated at the sound of a woman’s voice from inside the manor. Scrooge looked annoyed at the interruption and Goldie felt a boatload of questions piling up in her head.

“Did you really just kiss me when you have another woman here?” Goldie asked judgmentally, though she hadn’t moved her arms from around his neck. Or moved her body so it wasn’t pressed against his.

“Another wo...oh, no, God, no,” Scrooge said, starting out confused and transforming into outright disgust. “No, they’re not-”

“Matilda, go get him! It’s his turn!”

“SCROOOOOGE! Monopoly isn’t goin’ to play itself, ye-”

Scrooge and Goldie froze in their spot, staring at the loud woman who’d just made her way into the foyer. She had a flower in her hair. Goldie could’ve sworn she’d seen her before.

The woman cupped her hands around her beak and screamed, “HORTENSE! You might want to come oooouut here!”

Scrooge groaned and finally let go of Goldie, hiding his head in his hands. His face was bright red and Goldie finally realized what was going on.

“Ah...these are your sisters, aren’t they?”

Scrooge nodded just as the second woman entered the room, her feathers curled up all around her face. The two of them had several features similar to Scrooge’s - Goldie could definitely see the family resemblance. Plus, well. The accents.

They both looked very young. Goldie knew they’d been around since before the Gold Rush, so she was extremely curious about that. The one with the flower in her hair could’ve been as young as twenty-five, and the curly-haired one looked even younger than that. If they weren’t his sisters, Goldie might’ve been feeling a bit insecure about her age at that moment.

She thought about the hair dye that was applied to her head just a few hours earlier. Maybe she was a bit insecure either way.

“Matilda, do my eyes deceive me?” asked the curly-haired sister. “Is that our brother...with a girl?”

“Oh, Hortense, it’s true!” Matilda answered in a dramatic pose. “Our big brother is finally growin’ up! You wouldnae believe the amount of kissin’ I just walked into!”

“Kissin’?! Surely you couldnae mean our dear sweet brother would kiss someone without marryin’ her first!” Hortense added with a laugh. “After what he said about me and Quackmore, I assumed he would propose before even holdin’ her hand!”

The two girls continued their little show for a minute while Goldie turned her focus back to Scrooge. He looked absolutely mortified. As much as Goldie wanted to milk this for all it was worth and go share embarrassing stories with the pair of them, she also really just wanted to spend some alone time with Scrooge. It’d been a very long time since she’d had intimate contact with another person. Had it been as long for him? She wasn’t going to ask.

“Scrooge.”

“Hrmmm. Yes?” Scrooge grumbled quietly.

Goldie grabbed him by the lapels of his sportcoat and pulled him closer. “Tell your sisters to give us one hour of privacy, alright? Just an hour.”

The smile reappeared on his face and Scrooge ignored his sisters as they started whooping when he wrapped his arms around Goldie again. “Goldie girl, an hour won’t be enough time with you.”

“We’ll make it count,” Goldie said, giving him a brief peck on his beak.

Scrooge’s sisters started oooohing at that and Scrooge’s face quickly turned from joy to anger. Goldie found it very charming. She’d never seen him with his family before, so this felt like...a new step for them. Something different.

---

sex summary: https://sites.google.com/view/running-in-circles/summaries/nsfw21

---

“So...where were you?”

Goldie sighed from her spot laying against Scrooge’s shoulder. She just wanted to keep playing with the feathers on his chest, not talking about all the stupid shit she went through. “Away.”

Scrooge had his arm around her and he pulled her closer. “Goldie…”

“I went through an interdimensional portal and couldn’t find my way out again, alright?” Goldie answered quickly. “I traveled through two dozen different worlds, some of them terrifying and deadly, and then finally made it back here. And I guess I missed a lot because our world is very different than it was before.”

He blinked at her rapidly, trying to soak in all that information. “You were...I...are you...alright?”

“Really?”

“Okay, yes, I know you’re alright. But...well. I’m glad you’re here, then.” Scrooge started running his fingers through her hair. “Sixteen years is a long time.”

“Well…” Goldie started, still debating whether or not she wanted to share every little detail with him. “For me, actually...it hasn’t even been two years. Or at least it didn’t feel like any longer than that.”

“Oh?” Scrooge raised his eyebrows, thinking about that. “Some kind of time travel? Or did time work differently over there?”

“No idea.”

Scrooge paused for a moment and then slowly turned his body so he was next to Goldie and completely facing her. “So you missed me this much after only two years? I guess...you really do love me.”

Goldie’s eyes widened and her cheeks turned pink - though there was a bit of nervousness in his voice, Scrooge knew he had the upper hand at that particular moment. He wanted to bring up that letter and she wasn’t going to let them just move past it without addressing the gigantic elephant in the room. Love. Love.

She stupidly used that stupid word in her stupid letter ‘cause she stupid thought she was going to stupid die. Stupid! It wasn’t like he’d ever said as much to her. She assumed because of her hair in his box, but it wasn’t necessarily true. Was he going to mock her for having feelings? Goldie wondered if she should just brush it off and pretend being unsure of her own survival made her feel things that weren’t there. She didn’t really love him, she just wanted to feel something strong before her untimely demise!

Scrooge placed his hand against her cheek again and Goldie’s eyes were drawn to his. He looked so sincere and his cheeks were also quite red and she could tell he wanted to talk about it. He wanted to talk about them and their feelings and…

...and Goldie wasn’t sure. She just...she didn’t know where that would lead. Or if she wanted to go wherever that was. But there was no benefit to arguing about it, no joy in starting a fight. She still wanted to be there with him in that moment. So…

“...and what if I do?”

The shyness in Goldie’s voice combined with her inability to keep eye contact was keeping a big smile on Scrooge’s face. He thought, for sure, that she would deny everything and move on without addressing the letter. He absolutely did not want to do that. But instead she asked him exactly the right question.

“Then...I’d probably say I love you, too,” Scrooge said quietly as he brought his beak closer to hers.

Goldie closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying not to get too ahead of herself. He was feeling a lot of feelings after thinking she was dead for over a decade. A few decades ago she would’ve convinced herself that his feelings were a lie, but now she knew better. He definitely did love her. But...he might’ve been overselling it a little. Just because of how excited he was.

Well...for once, she didn’t mind. Maybe she could enjoy being loved, just that once.

Their beaks crashed together in another kiss.

---

sex summary: https://sites.google.com/view/running-in-circles/summaries/nsfw21#h.ufjt2xx4dnq7

---

“Kathmandu?”

“Mhmm,” Scrooge said with a nod. “I have it on good word that King Malla’s gold is hidden there. And it’s a lot of gold.”

“Huh.” Goldie was cuddled against his side and picking at the feathers on her fingertips. It sounded like it could be a fun trip and a good way to get them back into the swing of things. But… “Are you in a hurry?”

Scrooge raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I mean...can it wait a month or two? I want to go check on some...investments. And some people that I haven’t seen in almost two decades.”

He didn’t answer for a few seconds and then breathed out a happy sigh. “You came here first?”

Goldie blushed and shoved her elbow into his side. “We’ve already established that I missed you, sourdough, time to move on.”

Scrooge rolled his eyes and kissed her on the top of her head. “Yes, yes. How long do ye need?”

“Give me three months to get my life back in order. Then...meet in New Delhi?”

“Sounds perfect,” Scrooge mumbled, leaning in for another kiss.

Goldie kissed him back and then smirked. “But for now...I’m very curious to meet your other houseguests.”

Scrooge frowned. “I dinnae think you need to talk to them.”

“Oh, but I do.”

“They’re very annoyin’, you willnae like ‘em.”

“But you’re annoying and I still like you.”

“Annoy-?! Now that’s the pot callin’ the kettle black!”

“Are you trying to say something, Scroogey?”

---

---

the following links leads to graphic/explicit sexual text, please do not read if under 18 but if you do anyway please dont tell me you did lol https://sites.google.com/view/running-in-circles/summaries/nsfw21

---

REAL HISTORY FACTS:

- Okay so Goldie actually would not have been able to get out of China by plane in 1949 BUT sometimes I must embellish. So China to Iran to France to Canada she went.

DUCK FRANCHISE REFERENCES:

- The 1950s is when the original duck comics took place. I guess that's not really a reference it's just a fun fact. Now they just take place whenever they want so that they can have cell phones and laptops but also Scrooge's riches started in the Klondike gold rush. It doesn't matter lol - In Don Rosa's comics, when Scrooge gets Goldie's letter (that contains her feelings and hopes for their relationship), he thinks it's a rejection letter. So he throws it into the snow and never reads it. Then they don't see each other again for 50 years. Fun! - I don't think my characterization of Quackmore is all that accurate, but his writing is kind of all over the place in the comics. It's hard to get a consistent read on him. - Matilda and Hortense love to tease Scrooge about Goldie. That's only canon from one panel but it just feels right lol

[rebeccacatalinas]

burns

“Hold her shoulder for me, young lady.”

“Yes, Sir.”

[on ao3]

He didn’t recognize her. Hawkeye didn’t know whether she should even have a reaction to that – they’d never spoken, and only met two or three times under unfortunate circumstances. One was fairly recent, when her colonel was still recovering in the hospital, but Dr. Knox wasn’t one for eye contact. He probably didn’t even notice that she was there.

Still, a part of her wanted to thank him. Though Colonel Mustang had never said the man’s name specifically, she knew that he was the one who helped her recover after her back was burned. She was asleep for most of the recovery time, but she distinctly remembered his voice – remembered him yelling at Mustang, calling him an idiot, saying he should report him…

She was grateful that he didn’t. And didn’t send her to a hospital, either. She hated hospitals and, if possible, tried to avoid them. So far no doctor had questioned her about her tattoo [or the burns on top of it], but she didn’t want to risk it. Too many questions. Too many secrets.

Hawkeye looked up at the doctor across from her and saw the worry etched on his face; Lan Fan was clearly in excruciating pain and they didn’t have any anesthetic for her. Perhaps the pain from cutting off her arm was too strong for her to feel each individual stitch, but it was still hard to watch. She could tell that Dr. Knox wanted to scream at her for being reckless – he already chastised her for running around in the sewer, but he wanted to keep going. She wondered if he always yelled at his patients when they caused their own trauma.

He probably yelled at her, too, though she didn’t remember it. Hopefully the colonel explained that she asked him to burn her back – otherwise how would he excuse what he did? Dr. Knox probably looked at her, saw the bubbling skin on her back, and rubbed his temples before screaming that she was an idiot. She would’ve deserved it.

Lan Fan’s scream brought Riza back to reality – she needed to focus on the girl in front of her. She needed to make sure she survived and had enough strength to get away if something bad were to happen here. There was no time to dwell on the past.

--

He didn’t like to make eye contact with anyone – not with patients, not with family…nobody. So when Mustang dragged him along on this stupid trip to an old house in the suburbs, he didn’t pay any attention to the short, blonde kid or the giant suit of armor-wearing kid. They seemed loud and frustrating, he didn’t need to deal with it. Just go with Mustang, help this injured girl, and come home. A good day’s work.

He continued his process of not really looking at anybody until he was done working on the girl. Mustang’s lieutenant assisted him, which was a great help since his patient kept trying to thrash around. If only he had some anesthetic this wouldn’t be such a problem – but that’s what happens when a sixteen-year-old girl cuts off her own goddamn arm. What the hell was she thinking? “Had to protect the Prince,” sure, fine, whatever. Stupid kid.

It wasn’t until they were done and Mustang ordered his lieutenant to keep watch that Dr. Knox actually took a look at her. And it did take him a few seconds to realize exactly who she was...she looked different with long hair. Surprisingly, his first thought was that he was glad she and Mustang were still working together. After Ishval, a lot of soldiers had to quit the military due to the severity of their trauma. He thought she would’ve been one of them – but she was stubborn, he supposed. Maybe she felt responsible for Mustang…or something like that. Though he hadn’t commented on it, Dr. Knox was perfectly aware of what was on Hawkeye’s back and the significance of it. Even back then, when he was instructing Mustang on what he needed to do to make sure her wounds didn’t get infected, he didn’t ask about the tattoo.

The answer was probably all kinds of messed up. But after what he’d been through in Ishval, he didn’t really dwell on it. Everything that Amestrian soldiers did seemed to be all kinds of messed up.

Dr. Knox frowned as Mustang started rambling a bit, thinking back to Ishval again. Thinking back to all the innocent people he experimented on, thinking back to all the lives that were lost because of him. Seeing Hawkeye was an uncomfortable reminder of one of the few lives he helped.

As Mustang told him to come see the creature they’d captured, the doctor nodded and focused back to the task at hand. The girl was going to be fine, and Hawkeye seemed to be doing well, so he couldn’t wait to get out of here.

[princesspraxina]

Talia and Auriana for the fic thing?

Auriana got bored very, very easily. And since she was a people-person, whether they were Earth-people or Ephedia-people, she needed to be doing things with other people at all times! But today was going slowly. Iris had plans with Nathaniel, Carissa and Lyna were off doing who-knows-what, and Doug was on a trip with his family. So Auriana needed to spend time with someone, and that someone had to be Talia!

It took a lot of begging - and eventually some serious deal making - for Auriana to get Talia to spend the afternoon with her.Talia usually studied spells or walked around Sunny Bay to try and find people in need (which would ruin Iris’ special day with Nathaniel! Talia always tried to find ways to ruin their dates...). But today, Auriana was going to stop her from doing boring stuff and get her to have some fun!

“Our definitions of fun are pretty different, Auriana,” Talia said with a slight scowl, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Come on, Talia! You promised!” Auriana was sifting through the drawers in her room, looking for the exact items she needed for their first activity. “I won’t whine during practice for the next two weeks and all you have to do is have fun with me!”

Talia rolled her eyes and sat on the bed. “I’m starting to wonder if I should’ve bumped it up to a month...”

“Hey!” Auriana turned her head quickly to glare at her teammate, her ponytail whapping her in the face. “I think two weeks is pretty fai-OOH! I found it!”

Not being able to contain her curiosity, Talia leaned to the side so she could see over Auriana’s shoulder. Auriana pulled out a medium-sized black bag, with handles sticking out of it. Talia looked up at Auriana’s eager face with a raised eyebrow. “...so, what exactly is that?”

“It’s my...” Auriana unfolded the bag to reveal a ton of brushes, blenders, applicators, and sponges. “MAKEUP BAG!”

Talia stared at her teammate. “Um...you want to, what, give me a makeover?”

Auriana nodded so fast her head became a blur. “I just wanna do our makeup and then take some pictures and then keep them forever and ever and ever!”

Talia rolled her eyes again, but this time it was partnered with a smile. “...alright, I think I can handle that kind of fun. Just don’t go too crazy.”

[nanbaka-82]

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HIW MANY TIMES I BURNT MYSELF JUST NOW TO GET THE CARRORT PIECES OUT OF MY RAMEN

THEN I PROCEED TO BURN MY FUCKING ARN BECAUSE R A M E N W A T ER

See

carrofs fucking suck

also bestie pls be careful this isn’t the first time you burn yourself with ramen use a fucking spoon to get these nasty carrots out next time

[moneyhealthfinance-blog]

The Agent with Heart Program Continues to Benefit Local Nonprofits Thanks to Giving Realtors

The Agent with Heart Program Continues to Benefit Local Nonprofits Thanks to Giving Realtors

Las Vegas, NV (March 1st, 2018)– PinRaise, the company that connects real estate agents with local clients and nonprofits, announced today that six of their esteemed real estate professionals each made donations on behalf of their clients to the nonprofits of their clients’ choice. Craig Carrof Keller Williams in Chesterfield, MO has made a donation to the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Missouri on…

[neopuff]

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

chapter two: at the back of my mind ships: sasha/milla characters: sasha, milla, otto, truman words: 4452 ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53435410/chapters/135363142

[chap 1]

-

It'd been almost a month since Grand Head Zanotto forced Sasha to socialize with someone new for several hours. He'd not done it again since, but that was probably because they hadn't had any new hires since then.

His two hours with Agent Vodello had been surprisingly pleasant. She was charming and friendly, but not uncomfortably so, and Sasha liked that she listened to what he said. At least she seemed to be listening - he hadn't attempted to read her mind out of respect for her privacy, but occasionally caught the telepathic sound of music playing.

After their tour, she hadn't sought him out for anything. Which was just fine - Sasha was always working on research projects or helping Agent Mentallis with one of his new inventions. He didn't need anything else on his plate.

Still, Agent Vodello waved at him anytime they were both in the lobby. He felt himself awkwardly wave back each time, but she was always, always with someone else, so their interactions never really expanded beyond that. 

Which, again, was perfectly fine with him.

On one uneventful Monday morning, Sasha was making his way across the Quarry to Agent Mentallis’ lab when he saw her by herself for the first time in a long time.

She was exiting Agent Mentallis’ lab and had a neutral, almost sad expression on her face. Sasha thought it looked unnatural on her, when she was usually so…smiley.

Just as he thought that, she noticed him, and gave him the bright smile he was used to seeing. “Ah, hello, Agent Nein!”

They both stopped on the same floating pad, just two away from the parking lot in front of the lab. “Good morning, Agent Vodello. Nice to see you.”

“You, too!” She looked positively giddy, clapping her hands together in front of her. “It’s been far too long since we’ve talked - we should get coffee sometime and chat!”

Sasha adjusted his sunglasses, taking that in. He knew that her words were the universal expression of we’ll probably never spend time together again, but said in the nicest way possible. Which was a bit disappointing, but at least he wouldn’t get his hopes up. “Yes…of course. Some time when we’re both free.”

Agent Vodello smiled and waved at him as she levitated away - he watched her for a half-second before turning to focus entirely on the lab. Where his focus was supposed to be.

He stepped through the annoying security room and found himself standing across from Otto Mentallis’ familiar face - the older psychic was alone at his desk, tinkering with something small.

“Agent Mentallis.”

“Ah, Sasha!” Otto smiled and waved him over. “This is a real change of pace - my last visitor was a very lively young woman.”

Sasha chose not to take that as an insult. “I assume you’re referring to Agent Vodello.”

“Yes, that’s her!” The older man stood up and stretched, cracking his back. “Talkative, charming. Pretty, too, don’t you think?”

At that question, Sasha pulled out a cigarette and quickly lit it, enjoying the calm it brought his nerves. “...it would be pointless to pretend otherwise.”

Otto laughed loudly and sharply, surprising the younger agent who stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “I always appreciate how predictable you are, honestly. It makes me feel like I’ve got a good handle on this place. Now what’d you come down here for?”

“I…was interested in how your latest project is going,” Sasha answered, ignoring the other comments. He could genuinely never tell if Agent Mentallis was purposefully trying to get under his skin, or if the man simply didn’t pay attention to some of the things that came out of his mouth. “Have you made much progress?”

“Ahhh…my Distilled Emotions series. No, not particularly.” Otto put a hand to his chin and glanced to the side, where he had scribbles and scratch marks all over the pages of an open notebook. “I’m still interested in the idea, but…it’s slow-going. Nothing has seemed to work so far. But I’m not giving up just yet!”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Sasha stuffed his hands into his pockets, lit cigarette floating near his head. “If there’s any way I could assist…”

“Not with this one, I don’t think. Not yet, at least! I’ll let you know when I make a breakthrough worth talking about.” The older man paused for a moment, glaring at his wall of gadgets both finished and unfinished, then he grabbed one item to show it off. “Did I show you my new Otto-shot Camera?”

“You did not.” Sasha eyed the camera suspiciously - he didn’t have much need for taking photographs, but he was curious to know how it differed from a normal camera. “What does it do?”

“What doesn’t it do would be a better question!” Otto held it up proudly. “You can use it to…well - take photos! But it also has fun filters and can detect hard-to-find figments inside someone’s mind…it’s very helpful.”

Sasha didn’t think any of that sounded particularly useful to him, though he supposed there was no downside to help in collecting figments. “This seems like it would be better suited for someone like Agent Vodello,” he commented dryly, not really thinking about any unintended meaning to his words.

Otto, however, seemed to find that comment very interesting, considering the suspicious smirk that came over his face as soon as Sasha mentioned the lively, pretty young woman again.

Sasha frowned at the older man’s expression.

“You know what, Sasha, you’re absolutely right. She seems very photogenic - perhaps you could bring this to her and she can test it for me!” Otto said, wolfish smile never leaving his face.

Confused, Sasha reached out and took the camera out of his hands. He wasn’t an idiot - he could see Agent Mentallis was trying to imply something untoward and he didn’t understand how acknowledging her existence would justify that. “What are you doing?” he asked uncomfortably.

“Me? I’m just trying to be efficient with my time!” Otto answered innocently, holding his hands up in the air. “I’m an old man, Sasha. You can't expect me to go back and forth to the Motherlobe all willy-nilly.”

Sasha held the camera tighter in his hands. Though Agent Mentallis’ explanation made sense, they'd spent enough time together that Sasha knew he was lying. He didn't understand why Agent Mentallis felt it necessary to make those types of jokes, but it certainly wasn't the first time nor would it be the last.

“...alright. I'll bring it to her,” Sasha said hesitantly. “But I don’t see her often, so don’t expect results anytime soon.”

“Sure, sure. Whenever. I'm in no rush!”

Sasha made his way out of the workshop, feeling a bit like he'd wasted his time. He liked Agent Mentallis and really enjoyed working with the man on machines and gadgets, but Agent Mentallis also had the unfortunate habit of implying that Sasha needed to socialize with people his own age. On more than one occasion, he'd even told Sasha to go get a life!

But Sasha did have a life. He felt extremely comfortable as he was currently living, even if he didn't have many friends. He'd spent the last seven years building himself a career and a reputation amongst the Psychonauts that he wouldn't trade for anything. And those years of focus and discipline had given him the strength and understanding to work through difficulties from his youth. There was no amount of socializing with a beautiful woman that would have any such impact. 

Or a not-beautiful woman. 

Or anyone, really.

He took a step closer to the Motherlobe and took another drag of his cigarette. It felt like he was breaking some sort of unspoken rule by acknowledging Agent Vodello’s charm. He could only blame Otto for implanting the thought in his mind. But it wasn’t inappropriate to recognize that she was pretty. She clearly took pride in her appearance - she wore makeup, styled her hair, looked at herself in mirrors anytime she noticed one. But Sasha felt still like he was doing something wrong.

As he entered the Motherlobe, Sasha’s eyes were immediately drawn to the woman of the hour - she had started to wear more colorful clothes after getting settled in the new job, and her style tended to include bright colors, which made her especially noticeable.

More than that, though, she was levitating alongside Grand Head Zanotto, and they were headed towards the Nerve Center.

Obviously they were going to talk about something important. Sasha had no reason to interrupt, especially when all he had to give her was Agent Mentallis’ strange new camera. So he made his way back to his office. Sasha had recently completed a short recon mission and still needed to write up his report - there was plenty of work to do that didn't involve anyone else.

He got about fifteen minutes into his report - which meant it was almost done, since the mission had been fairly simple - when he felt a telepathic prodding in the back of his mind.

“Sasha, can you come up to my office? I need your assistance.”

He pouted and adjusted his sunglasses, curious what Grand Head Zanotto needed from him. Especially after he just met with Agent Vodello - Sasha anxiously wondered if she'd complained about him for some reason. Maybe she felt he'd been staring at her and was uncomfortable. Or perhaps Agent Mentallis said something out-of-turn.

“Be right there,” Sasha responded, telepathically reaching back.

Paperwork forgotten, Sasha tried not to feed his paranoia as he made his way to the Grand Head’s office. It was unlikely that Agent Vodello had filed a complaint about him. And it was even more unlikely that Agent Mentallis being inappropriate would lead to Sasha being called in for a talk.

He didn't really have a guess as to the purpose of this meeting, so he supposed he had no choice but to wait and find out.

Upon reaching the Grand Head’s office, Sasha turned to levitate over the water fixture when he heard two familiar voices talking. He was immediately confused and very curious why he’d been brought in when the previous meeting hadn’t ended yet.

“Ah, there he is!”

Sasha landed a few feet in front of the Grand Head’s desk when the older man smiled at him, and Camilla turned around with a matching smile on her face.

“Two times in one day! What a treat!” she said with a little wink.

Sasha took another drag from his cigarette and nodded at her, then looked up at the Grand Head. “You needed me for something…?”

“Not me, exactly. Agent Vodello here has been struggling with some of her psychic powers and I thought you could give her some one-on-one training since you’re not on any assignments right now,” Grand Head Zanotto answered quickly, repeatedly glancing down at the clock on his desk.

“Oh.”

Camilla looked embarrassed and ran her fingers through her hair. “I haven’t had much opportunity to practice certain things and he mentioned you right away,” she said with a chuckle. “I hope it’s not a bother.”

“No, not at all,” Sasha answered, adjusting his sunglasses slightly. “I always have time to help a fellow Psychonaut.”

She smiled again - a particularly bright and charming smile that made Sasha grab his cigarette once more - and then stood up. Sasha had forgotten how tall she was. Though he was still taller than her, it was only by an inch or two. He was used to towering over the average person; it was a nice change of pace.

“That’s great to hear, Sasha!” Grand Head Zanotto was looking through some papers on his desk while he spoke. “The new classroom is finished if you two want to check it out while you train! Or go wherever. Doesn’t matter. Just let me or Agent Forsythe know if you need anything!”

They exited his office and started walking through the Nerve Center, ignoring the dozen Psychonauts levitating all over the room and chatting about anything under the sun.

Sasha noticed Agent Forsythe staring curiously at the two of them walking together and he couldn’t stop himself from smoking again.

“You smoke quite a bit,” Camilla commented.

“It’s been more than usual lately,” he responded as they exited the Nerve Center and made their way into the lobby. “Good for calming my nerves.”

There was a bit of hesitation before Agent Vodello spoke again. “I hope I’m not causing you more stress, I’m sure Truman could ask someone else if you’re busy!”

Sasha turned towards her, one eyebrow raised. “It has nothing to do with you,” he lied, having realized in the past hour that his urge to smoke increased every time Camilla’s looks or charm were mentioned around him. Or anytime she said something especially friendly. There was just something about her - Agent Mentallis wasn’t wrong when he called her pretty, but she was more than just pretty. She was show-stoppingly gorgeous. And she made Sasha feel nervous in ways he wasn’t quite used to. He’d been around plenty of beautiful people, but Camilla had a glow around her like no other. She lit up every room she was in like she harnessed the light of the sun itself. “I can’t pinpoint exactly what it’s related to, but I’m sure it’ll pass.”

“I hope so,” Camilla responded, glancing around the newly updated wing of the Motherlobe. “I haven’t been over here yet,” she said unprompted, spinning around as she levitated.

“I haven’t either.” Sasha watched her for a moment, then turned to take in the new hallway layout. “I suppose Agent Forsythe’s new office will go back here, then.”

She’d poked her head into the new classroom as he spoke - the room was finished being built a week or two ago and was still being filled with the appropriate furniture. So it looked a little empty. Not that it mattered, since the training would all be in Sasha’s head.

“We’ll be training here?” she asked curiously.

Sasha levitated past her and into the room, stopping in front of a set of chairs that had been left in the center of the floor. He pulled a small, colorful door out of his jacket pocket and let it hover above his hand. “I think we’ll cause less damage if we go into my mind.”

“Oh!” Camilla quickly joined him by the chairs. “I didn’t even consider that.”

“Have you…been inside someone else’s mind before?” he asked a little hesitantly, not sure where she was at in her training.

“Truman let me visit his mind not long after he visited mine.” She answered carefully, not making eye contact while she spoke. “It wasn’t for very long, though. I was still…working on some things.”

Sasha nodded, not knowing the specifics but understanding the gist. “I suppose you don’t have your own door, then.”

“I was actually just talking to Agent Mentallis about that!” Camilla answered. “He promised to make mine nice and sparkly.” She chuckled, then reached out to touch the edge of Sasha’s door. “Yours is beautiful. I wouldn’t have expected so many colors!”

He grabbed his cigarette and took one last drag, happy to get his money’s worth by smoking the stick as far as it could go. “Yes. Well. My mind is certainly not as colorful.”

She giggled at that response and took a seat in one of the chairs, brushing invisible dust off her dress and sitting up as straight as possible. “I’m ready when you are, Agent Nein.”

Sasha followed suit and took the seat across from her. He placed the small door on his forehead, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and waited for the welcome intruder to find her way inside. He remembered his first time entering someone’s mind through a door - that person was Otto Mentallis, and that man’s mind was a disorganized mess. It’d given Sasha hives just walking through it, and encouraged him to keep his own mind as clean and organized as possible.

For himself, sure. But also for future guests.

A minute later and he was greeted by the sight of Camilla Vodello levitating around one side of his specifically crafted block of a mindscape.

“Now this is more what I expected,” she said thoughtfully.

He wondered if she meant that literally - that she’d been thinking about him and wondering what his mind looked like - but quickly shook that off. He was usually a master of controlling his thoughts and focusing…Agent Vodello just so happened to throw him off-balance. He needed to get a handle on that.

He adjusted his sunglasses, wondering when his censors would start to arrive. “Which powers would you like to work on?”

“I’m not the best at PSI-Blasting,” she admitted sheepishly. “Or connecting thoughts.”

“My mind is an excellent space for working on your Marksmanship skills,” Sasha responded. “I can set up some thoughts for you to connect, though we’ll have to put them back when we’re done.”

“Of course!” Camilla smiled at him, hands clasped behind her back. “I wouldn’t want to change your opinions like that.” She started to levitate, as she often did, and then went exploring around to another side of Sasha’s mind cube. She didn’t react much to anything - considering how clean Sasha kept it, he wasn’t surprised. 

But then she let out a low “oh, hello!” and Sasha mentally focused on her to see what she was doing.

She was watching one of his memory vaults jumping around, making little noises at it as if she was speaking to a dog. It was strange, to say the least. Sasha levitated the vision of himself in his mind towards her to observe it closer.

He recognized which vault it was immediately. “You can open it if you’d like,” he said as he continued to watch her try to pet it. “Especially if you haven’t looked into a memory vault before. It’s a very unique experience.”

“Truman asked me not to look at his,” Camilla answered, reaching down to lightly scratch the memory vault. “Are you sure? If it’s too much, I can-”

“It’s fine.” He meant it, too.

She held eye contact for another moment, just in case he showed any sign of hesitation at all, then reached down and gently pet the memory vault on its head. It made a happy noise and then laid down and opened up for her, which Sasha thought was interesting. Usually he’d smack them or use telekinesis to hold them steady - he’d never watched someone coax one so gently before.

Agent Vodello spent a minute staring at the inside of the vault, and Sasha felt a voyeuristic discomfort from watching her do so. He didn’t have much of a choice, though, whether he stared at her directly or just felt her presence in his mind.

Eventually she stood up, a solemn look on her face. It wasn’t like he was the only person in the world who lost their mother at a young age, but he supposed he could’ve warned her.

She levitated over to him without saying a word, and before Sasha could open his mouth - her arms were suddenly wrapped around his neck and she was pressed up against him.

He didn’t know what to do. So he just stood there, completely stiff and still, until she backed away.

“I’m so sorry, Sasha,” she said softly, her hands held together in front of her chest. “She seemed like a wonderful person.”

Still a bit shaken by the hug, Sasha was frozen for a moment before finally shaking his head and reaching up to adjust his sunglasses. He needed a cigarette again. “I…yes, she was. Thank you for saying so.”

Camilla smiled at him and reached forward, placing one of her hands against his arm. “If you ever want to talk, I’d be happy to listen.”

The amount of affection he was receiving was a little overwhelming for Sasha, and he stared down at her hand for a few seconds before awkwardly clearing his throat and lightly shaking his head. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m fine. It was quite a long time ago.” He felt like he could breathe easier as she pulled her hand away. “Let’s focus on why we’re here - my censors should be showing up any moment now.”

x

They spent over an hour training in Sasha’s mind - blasting censors with blastokinesis, tossing censors at one another using telekinesis, slowing down time and watching the confusion cross the censors’ faces…it was fun, if he was being honest with himself. Sasha hadn’t had an opportunity to just blow off some steam inside his mind in several months.

One moment that he filed away for later was when he asked Camilla about pyrokinesis. She shook her head and claimed that fire just wasn’t her thing, so they moved on without it. But he was unfortunately quite curious about that. Was she in an accident that involved fire?

Or perhaps she just wasn’t confident at controlling it.

Either way, the subject seemed sensitive and he didn’t know her well enough to ask.

She blasted another small censor and took a deep breath before stretching out her arms and falling back, landing with a thud and closing her eyes.

Sasha levitated over and stood next to her, staring down at the serene look on her face. “Are you alright?”

“Just tired, darling, very tired,” she mumbled in response.

He felt his cheeks heat up slightly, not sure why she’d just called him that. Was she thinking about someone else? Was she so tired that she’d lost her verbal self control? “I…um,” he started, wanting to say something about it. But she looked very peaceful and unconcerned with her own words, it almost felt rude to say something. “...we can leave, if you’d like.”

She sighed again, opening her eyes to stare back at him. Then she smiled. “That sounds nice. I’m supposed to meet with Kim for lunch soon.”

Sasha hoped he didn’t look as embarrassed as he felt. The combination of that nickname and the smile she just gave him made him feel like there were angry butterflies trying to break out of his stomach. “If that can wait a little longer, I actually have something for you in my office.”

Camilla levitated back to a standing position and tilted her head - staring at him like he’d said something crazy. “...you do?”

He glanced away from her, feeling suddenly self-conscious. “Yes, um. Well, it’s from Agent Mentallis. A device he thought you might like to test for him.”

Her eyes widened and brightened at that, and Camilla grabbed her smelling salts and quickly made her way out of Sasha’s mind. When he opened his eyes again in the classroom, she was already standing and ready to go.

“This is the first time Agent Mentallis has thought of me for something like this!” she said excitedly, clapping her hands together in front of her. “What is it?”

Sasha stood up with her and started making his way out of the room. “You shouldn’t get too excited. It’s a camera. A…psychic camera.”

Camilla followed him, floating the whole way. “A psychic camera?”

“He, um…thought you could test it out for him. Take photos of…” Sasha paused, not sure if it would be weird to suggest she take photographs of herself. But that was the implication, wasn’t it? “...anything. It can apparently help you find figments in people’s minds.”

She smiled, though there was a look on her face that seemed more confused than excited. “I did enjoy collecting figments in Truman’s mind. Still, it seems a bit random.”

“Agent Mentallis mentioned something about you being, um…” Sasha reached into his pocket and grabbed a new cigarette, needing it desperately. “Photogenic.”

Camilla laughed and levitated ahead of him. She’d only been to his office once before, but it wasn’t difficult to remember the way there. “It’s not the first time an older man has said something like that about me, I suppose.”

Sasha suddenly felt mortified on her behalf. He stood still, the aquarium lighting up the left side of his face while his newly-lit cigarette lit up the right. “I’ll talk to him. He shouldn’t make comments like that. It’s not appropriate.”

She turned around and had an amused smile on her face. “I like photogenic, actually.” She paused in front of Sasha’s office door, waiting for him to catch up. “It’s kind of nice.”

Sasha decided that he would still say something to Agent Mentallis, whether she wanted him to or not. If he didn’t, the older man was guaranteed to continue making little comments or suggestions or implications and Sasha Nein was not a man who enjoyed being teased or watching his coworker be teased. Especially when there was nothing to be teased about! So he stepped past Camilla, let his office door open, and quickly used telekinesis to grab the camera and bring it over.

“Ohh, it’s cute!” she said with a smile. “Perhaps Kim will let me take photos of her, too.”

He grabbed one side of his sunglasses with his thumb and middle finger, adjusting them slightly. Again. “Don’t feel any obligation to do this right away. Agent Mentallis tends to jump from one project to another very quickly.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Agent Vodello levitated the camera into her surprisingly spacious purse and then glanced at her watch. “I should go meet with Kim now. But I’d love to train more tomorrow if you’re free?”

Sasha raised a single eyebrow. “Um…yes, I’m free. Should we meet in the classroom again at 11?”

“Yes, that’s perfect!” She hopped up, back to levitating as she liked to do. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow, darling!”

She quickly exited his office and left Sasha with the same question he’d had earlier about her use of the term darling. After that second instance, he couldn’t use the excuse that she was tired or delusional. But…it was strange, wasn’t it? The last person in his life who’d called him anything close to darling was his mother, though it admittedly felt quite different coming from Agent Vodello. He wondered if there was a possibility she just talked like that and he hadn’t paid enough attention to notice before. There were a few Psychonauts at the Motherlobe who frequently used slang that Sasha didn’t understand, so…that would certainly make more sense than anything else.

He took a deep breath and decided to move on. There was no use lingering on such a simple little thing.

[neopuff]

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

chapter three: a piece of my mind ships: sasha/milla characters: milla, truman, forsythe, 33, sasha, oleander, otto, sherri ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53435410/chapters/135591166

[chap 1] [chap 2]

-

The next morning, Milla made her way to the Grand Head's office for an early morning meeting. She was very comfortable speaking to Truman - he was a friendly man and when he wasn't too terribly busy they got along just fine. However, lately he had been so busy that they really hadn't had a lot of chances to speak. 

Their meeting the previous morning had been the first time Milla had spoken to him in almost two weeks. Occasionally he would pawn her off on Agent Forsythe, but Milla didn't have the same history with her nor the same level of comfort. 

Milla took a seat in the chair she always sat in, brushing dust off the end of her dress. Truman was already looking anxious, ready for his next meeting which was undoubtedly going to involve something to do with finances. From her perspective, it seemed like the Psychonauts were always dealing with financial problems.

“So how did the training go with Agent Nein yesterday?” Truman asked Milla curiously. “I hope he was as helpful with training as he was with your tour last month.”

Milla had a feeling he was going to ask her that, and she had already planned to respond with a follow-up question. “Truman…I’ve noticed that you only seem to ask me this type of question after I spend time with Agent Nein. I've also worked with Agents Forsythe and Oleander and Aaronson, so it makes me wonder…is there something wrong with Agent Nein that I should know about?”

Truman chuckled and scratched the side of his head. Then he stood up, stretched, and cracked his back. “To be perfectly honest Milla, it's because I've heard…complaints about Agent Nein. It's nothing that I've seen personally, just talk around the rumor mill. I figured a fresh face like yours would give me an unbiased perspective on how Agent Nein handles himself around other Psychonauts.”

“Oh, I see.” Milla tilted her head slightly, not surprised to hear that. She'd heard a few rumors about Sasha in just the few weeks she'd been working there. There were many Psychonauts employees that enjoyed gossiping, and though Milla enjoyed it on occasion, it was…a little much sometimes. “Well, Sasha has been nothing but kind and professional with me. He's been extremely helpful and respectful. I really enjoyed our training session yesterday.”

“That's very exciting to hear,” Truman said with a genuine smile. 

“He even allowed me to view one of his memory vaults,” Milla added as a bonus. “He seems like a very private person, so I was surprised by that.”

“Did he now?” Truman glanced at a notebook on his desk and quickly grabbed a pen, wrote something down, then closed the notebook. “Thank you, Milla. I've always liked Sasha so I'm happy to hear that he's getting along with someone.”

She paused a moment before adding another comment. “Is that so unusual? On my first day, Agent Nein introduced me to several people and seemed to have a friendly relationship with all of them.”

“Several people, hm?” Truman tapped his chin with the pencil he picked up earlier. “That’s the first time I’ve heard about Nein socializing. Hopefully with Hollis’ new promotion, I’ll have more time to pay attention!”

Milla smiled, happy that Truman was listening to her. She didn't know Agent Nein very well, but her interactions with him had been very pleasant and she didn’t want him to get in trouble because of some stupid rumors. “Is it really so bad if he’s a bit, um…antisocial?” she asked curiously. “From what I’ve heard, he’s a perfectly capable agent, so what does it matter?”

Truman sighed and glanced at the clock again. “It’s not about his social life. It’s about how well he works with others. Many of our operations involve partnerships or big teams and I’ve heard other agents say he’s not the best team player. He’s been told to work on it, but I was curious if he’d been putting in any noticeable effort.”

She nodded her head, finally understanding. “Like I said, he’s been very professional around me. But it’s possible he behaves differently out in the field, so I can only comment on what I know.”

“Of course!” He opened that notebook again and scribbled something else down. “Now I hate to toss you out, but I have an important meeting with Agent Mentallis in a few minutes and I’d like some time to eat my breakfast before he gets here.”

“Oh!” Milla levitated herself out of the chair and floated a few inches above the floor. “I’ll get out of your hair.”

As she turned around to leave, Truman added one last comment: “Don’t worry too much about Sasha, alright? He’s not going to get in trouble, I’m just looking out for him.”

She turned her head and nodded, continuing towards the tunnel and almost running into Agent Mentallis on her way. He smiled and greeted her casually, and then she levitated back down to the Nerve Center where there were a dozen agents floating around and talking. Three that caught Milla’s eye were Agents Forsythe, 33, and someone she didn’t recognize.

Agent Forsythe noticed Milla immediately. “Agent Vodello! Come over here.”

Milla plopped to the floor, staring at the senior agent and feeling suddenly nervous. She walked over as fast as her legs would take her. “Um…yes?”

“I need your assistance on a mission,” Agent Forsythe said quickly, levitating a sheet of paper into Milla’s hands. “We leave in ten minutes.”

“That’s…fast,” Milla said out loud and immediately wished she hadn’t.

Agent Forsythe raised an eyebrow at her. “I can always find someone else.”

“No, no! I’ll go grab a coffee and meet you outside!” Milla quickly levitated out of the room and rushed towards the Noodle Bowl. The coffee there wasn’t particularly good, but it was enough to get her through the day. And though Milla respected Agent Forsythe, the woman was terribly intimidating. She’d need the extra boost.

It took her less than seven minutes to get her coffee and make her way to the outside of the Motherlobe, where Agent Forsythe and Agent 33 were just starting to make their way into the jet. Milla followed obediently - she had very little information about this mission, but was too eager to pass up an opportunity to work alongside Agent Forsythe.

As the older woman started the jet, Milla sat down not far from Agent 33, whom she’d never really had the pleasure of spending much time with. Agent 33 was known for her secrecy and didn’t socialize much with other agents. But Milla liked to get to know people.

Before she could reach out a hand for their first real greeting, 33 surprised Milla by reaching out first. “Have we met before?”

“Not officially,” Milla answered, shaking her head. She took a moment to think about how she’d introduce herself - her time at the Motherlobe had been interesting, thanks to Sasha’s mispronunciation and her being too nervous to correct him. Most people within the Psychonauts pronounced her name as Sasha had, and though it’d grown on her over the past month…it was still strange. Her nickname, however, sounded very cute with the mispronunciation, and she’d been trying to get more people to use that. It could be difficult to force a nickname, but she figured she was still new enough to try. “Milla. Milla Vodello,” she said finally, grabbing 33’s hand back.

“You can call me 33,” the other woman answered. “I know it’s a bit unorthodox, but I really don’t like giving out my real name unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

“It’s understandable. From what I’ve read, life as a Psychonaut can be dangerous,” Milla responded thoughtfully.

“It certainly can,” Agent Forsythe said, joining the two of them and taking a seat across from them. “You two are briefed on the basic information, right?”

Milla frowned, remembering the piece of paper that was handed to her earlier. She’d glanced at it, but then got so distracted by the idea of coffee that she hadn’t bothered to read the thing in full. It was burning a hole in her pocket and she felt terribly, awfully nervous as she thought about what to say next.

Agent 33 cut in with her own answer. “Small town - I forget the name. Bunch of people claiming to have weird dreams all featuring the same man. There's not a lot of information to go on, so what’s the game plan?”

Forsythe was writing something down in a small notebook. “We’re just information gathering at this point. 33 - I want you down there, acting as a citizen. Get them to trust us so they’ll tell us what’s going on. Vodello - you’ll be with me. We’re asking simple, non-invasive questions. Get them to describe the man, describe what he does in the dream, describe anything strange they’ve noticed while awake. Keep it relatively simple, don’t go overboard. Got it?”

33 gave a thumbs up and Milla nodded slowly, feeling like she was playing catch-up. At least she understood what the assignment was. “How long until we arrive?”

“Shouldn’t be long. Ten more minutes, maybe, then we’ll have to hoof it into town so the people don’t freak out about the jet.” Agent Forsythe sighed and wrote a few more things down in her notebook. “Do either of you have any questions?”

There was one question on Milla’s mind. It was possible that Agent Forsythe had chosen her for this mission simply because she was in the right place at the right time. But it also felt like she’d been specifically chosen for the task, and she didn’t quite understand why. Agent Mentallis giving her an assignment because she’s photogenic was one thing, but she really hoped Agent Forsythe wasn’t only bringing her along because people found her easy to talk to.

She had a lot more to offer the Psychonauts than that, after all. “I do, actually. Um…”

The two other agents stared at her, 33 filing her nails with a file she’d pulled out of thin air. Agent Forsythe raised a curious eyebrow. “Spit it out, then.”

“...why exactly did you ask me to come along? Just because I was walking by?”

Agent Forsythe tilted her head, seemingly surprised by the question. Then she glanced over at Agent 33, who proceeded to get up and walk to the front of the jet, giving them a semblance of privacy. “Not at all. I specifically wanted your insights here, Agent Vodello.”

“My insights?” Milla pouted, confused. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve read your file - I’d consider you a nightmare expert, and this situation could quickly turn ugly if things go the way I expect them to. I’m hoping your experiences with nightmares will help us identify any warning signs or anything that could indicate some kind of nightmare contagion or epidemic.”

Milla felt her mind grow cold for a moment. Of all the responses she expected, that was certainly not one of them. Agent Forsythe knew about her history, at least parts of it, and brought it up so casually in a way that Truman never had. It was shocking, and slightly off-putting…but also weirdly cathartic. Knowing that her traumatic experiences could actually lead to her helping people who needed it was nice. Like the terrible, awful things she went through weren’t completely in vain.

“O-oh,” Milla answered finally. “Well…then I hope you’re right. I’m happy to help.”

Forsythe gave her a little nod, then stood up to join Agent 33 at the helm.

Milla sat there on the bench in the middle of the jet, feeling out-of-place. She’d gone on a handful of large group missions, trained one-on-one with other agents on occasion, and she’d been preparing herself for the two-to-three group missions that Psychonauts were so well-known for. But actually being a part of it was strange. She wondered if Agent Forsythe even realized that this was her first time on a real, covert Psychonauts assignment.

“We’re just about there,” Agent Forsythe announced, taking a seat to manually land the jet. “Are you both ready?”

Milla looked up to find Agent Forsythe and Agent 33 standing there, confident-as-ever - but 33 looked like a completely different person than the last time Milla had seen her. Which was only a few minutes earlier. It was ridiculous how skilled the woman was at disguising herself.

“I’m ready, Agent Forsythe,” Milla finally said.

x

The mission took a lot longer than Milla had expected.

By the time they’d arrived back at the Motherlobe, it was almost one o’clock - and in all her excitement, Milla had forgotten to say anything to Agent Nein before they’d left. After giving her quick goodbyes to Agents Forsythe and 33, she rushed towards the classroom despite being almost two hours late.

The room was empty. He wasn’t there. Milla frowned and almost smacked herself on the head - of course he wasn’t there! Why the hell would he sit around waiting for hours? He was a busy man with things to do.

So her next stop was across the lobby and up to his office. The aquarium distracted her for a moment, but in that same moment, Sasha Nein began making his way towards the lobby and also passed by the aquarium, though he was staring at his watch instead of paying attention to where he was walking. Milla turned around just in time to stop him from bumping into her. She placed her hands against his shoulders to steady him.

His hands moved down almost instinctively, and hovered over her hips for a brief moment before he pulled them back, just as Milla pulled her hands off of him. He seemed confused, but more about her presence than anything else.

“Agent Nein!”

“Agent Vodello,” he said casually, as if she hadn’t stood him up a few hours earlier.

“I-I’m so sorry.” Milla ran her fingers through her hair, feeling embarrassed. “Agent Forsythe asked me to join her on an assignment and I didn’t realize how long it would take. I feel absolutely terrible, I really hope you weren’t waiting long.”

Sasha shrugged, clearly unbothered. “It’s fine. You should always take any opportunity to work with Agent Forsythe. She can teach you a lot - more than I can, certainly.”

He continued on his path towards the lobby and Camilla floated beside him, hands clasped in front of her chest. “I still feel bad for not telling you. Could I at least buy you a coffee to make it up to you?”

Sasha stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her, curious about her response. He honestly didn’t mind that she’d missed their meeting time - he’d taken a half hour or so and just worked on organizing his mind. The classroom was peaceful, away from the hustle and bustle of the lobby or the Nerve Center, and he liked the quiet. She should’ve told him, sure, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

She was so apologetic though, and he almost felt bad that he didn’t care as much as she’d expected him to. He might’ve been a little disappointed more than anything, but he didn’t think there was any reason to inform her of that.

Getting coffee with her - in the Noodle Bowl, publicly, in front of so many other people - even just the concept made him feel nervous. Sasha took a deep breath, though he really just wanted another cigarette, and considered the offer. Her timing was good, since he had, in fact, been on his way to the Noodle Bowl for lunch. But he was worried other people would…notice them. He didn’t really enjoy being noticed, and Camilla always attracted the attention of others.

Sasha went back and forth on how to answer her for what felt like millenia (though was actually less than a second), and finally decided that he didn’t give a shit what other people thought. He enjoyed spending time with her and even if he didn’t - she was making the offer as professional courtesy and it would be rude of him to dismiss it.

“I was actually headed to lunch if you’d like to join me,” Sasha answered, finally, trying to remain cool despite the itch he felt inside his chest.

Camilla smiled brightly and clapped her hands together. “That’d be perfect! I’m buying!” she said enthusiastically, levitating ahead of him.

He followed behind her, awkwardly trying to keep up the same pace while walking. Though he’d never be as naturally talented at it as she was, Sasha knew he needed to spend more time working on his levitation skills. Generally it wasn’t an ability that he put much thought into, but Camilla was giving him a new perspective on it.

It was a little late for lunch, so the Noodle Bowl wasn’t as crowded as usual. Which eased Sasha’s nerves slightly, though he was completely aware of the eyes that locked onto him and Agent Vodello when they entered the room together. It wasn’t everyone, of course, but there were at least two or three people in the room that were paying more attention to them than necessary.

Camilla either didn’t notice them or didn’t care - going through the line, grabbing her rice bowl that contained a ridiculous amount of cilantro, and levitating over to one of the two-person tables by the windows.

He followed her, mostly silent, nodding or giving an affirmative hum when she asked him simple questions about his food or drink preferences. He wasn’t used to eating with someone else.

A moment after he set his tray down, Camilla perked up with a pointer finger in the air. “Oops, forgot to get a drink!”

“I’ll get it for you. What would you like?”

“Just a water please!” she answered with a sweet smile.

Sasha nodded and walked back towards the café line. He knew he could just telekinetically grab two waters, but it always felt strange to use his psychic powers in those types of situations. Not every employee working in the Motherlobe had such abilities, after all. He had no reason to show off or make anyone feel ostracized.

He grabbed the water bottles and turned back around to find Camilla chatting with Agent Forsythe, who’d apparently appeared out of nowhere. Not wanting to interrupt, Sasha headed back slowly (but not too slowly, since he was curious about the conversation).

“You should be hearing from Truman soon with more information.”

“Thank you for telling me, Agent Forsythe! And thank you again for bringing me along.”

Agent Forsythe gave the younger woman a small smile. “I think we worked well together, Milla. I’ll make sure it happens more often.” And with that, she walked away, giving Sasha a brief nod when she noticed him.

Sasha took his seat and handed one water to Camilla, more interested in their conversation than his meal. “Seems like you made a good impression this morning.”

Agent Vodello chuckled in response, a charming blush against her cheeks. “I guess so! I don’t want to jinx anything.”

He took a sip of his water. “You know, she’d probably be happy to train with you in her free time,” he suggested casually.

“Ohh, but I really like your style,” Camilla said with a forkful of food in front of her mouth. She took a moment to eat it before adding, “You’re very easy to train with! I felt like I learned a lot after just one session.”

Sasha’s itching need for a cigarette came back, and he decided not to ignore it this time. He wondered if she realized how much of a compliment that was - his style of training and teaching was frequently dismissed by other Psychonauts. Hearing someone as lively and kind as Camilla Vodello saying she felt like his methods were effective was certainly enough to make him blush. Unable to fight the urge any longer, he quickly grabbed a new cigarette and almost missed the woman in front of him flinch when he lit the end.

Probably related to her issues with pyrokinesis, he surmised. If she had an issue, he was sure she’d say something to him.

“And there it is,” Camilla commented quietly with a smirk on her face.

“I- um…” Sasha cleared his throat and took a nice, long drag. “I also thought yesterday went well. You seem to learn quickly and it’s nice to, ah…be listened to.” He paused for a moment, then added, “A-and thank you.”

She smiled again, thanked him quickly and then took a minute to focus on her food. The food at the Noodle Bowl wasn’t particularly good, but it wasn’t the worst. No one seemed to possess the psychic ability to put together extravagant meals, but discounted and perfectly edible meals were certainly good enough for him. He recalled that there used to be a restaurant or two across the Quarry, but they’d been closed for some time. Not enough customers around to bother keeping any place open.

They chatted while they ate - about Brazil, and about Germany, and about Oleander and Forsythe and Truman - and Sasha was both mortified and embarrassed to learn that an hour had gone by without him noticing. He was about to cut them off and say he needed to get back to work when they were interrupted again.

“Milla!”

They both turned to see Agent Forsythe again, just on the other side of the Noodle Bowl. Sasha noted that she’d called her Milla again, so it wasn’t just his ears playing a trick on him earlier. A nickname from Hollis Forsythe was unexpected, he felt. She’d always been a very formal, professional woman.

“Truman wants to talk to us now, so finish up and I’ll see you and 33 in his office ASAP.”

Camilla gave the woman a thumbs up before turning back to Sasha with a guilty, toothy smile. “I’m so sorry to cut this off so suddenly, but this was fun! We should do it again sometime.”

When he’d run into Camilla outside Agent Mentallis’ lab the day before, Sasha had assumed she’d offered to make plans with him just because she was a polite person following normal social graces. After their lunch, however, he was comfortable accepting the fact that she genuinely wanted to spend time with him again. And not just professionally, as he was more used to, but socially. It was strange, but left a pleasant sensation in the pit of his stomach.

It’d been a long time since he actually made a friend. And he didn’t want to screw it up by assuming too much, but he also wanted to make sure she understood that he enjoyed socializing with her. So he tapped his fingers on the small table between them and responded with, “It’s no problem, I should get back to work anyway. And, uh…yes, we should. Maybe Friday?”

“Friday I promised to eat lunch with Kim, but how about Monday?” she answered quickly, standing up and brushing her dress down.

“That’s fine with me.”

“Perfect!” Camilla smiled again and grabbed her tray. “If there’s time, maybe we can train afterwards, too!”

Sasha grabbed the edge of his sunglasses and adjusted them slightly, still deciding if he wanted to try being casual and cool. He did, he did. It was just difficult to build himself up to it. “I’d like that. I’ll see you around…Milla.”

She responded with a small smirk and a twinkle in her eyes that told Sasha he’d definitely made the right decision in copying Agent Forsythe’s nickname. The smile didn’t leave her face even as she levitated out of the room, ceremoniously dumping her tray with telekinesis to save time. He watched her go and then the room suddenly felt very cold and empty as he turned back to how he was sitting before.

He looked down at his food. It was barely eaten - he’d been so engrossed in their conversation that he’d forgotten the entire reason he came to the lunchroom in the first place, apparently.

There was a light tinge of pink on his cheeks as he quickly ate his (unfortunately, room temperature) food. Camilla - er, Milla, as he would start to think of her - had the potential to be very distracting for him. Sasha hoped their new friendship would soon feel normal for him and he could quickly settle back into his regular routine.

In the following days, Sasha found himself hyper aware of Milla anytime they were both in the lobby. Even if they were on opposite sides or in two distinctly different conversations, his eyes would be drawn to her for at least a moment, and then his thoughts would be stuck on her for an embarrassing amount of time. It was…not unpleasant. But not pleasant, either. He felt like he was breaking some rule he didn’t know about, which didn’t make much sense since they were, technically speaking, friendly with one another. Friends, she might even say.

Friends.

It was Thursday morning and she was on the other side of the lobby again. In an animated conversation with two other Psychonauts, not paying attention to the lanky, green man standing by the mural of the Psychic 6 and trying his best not to stare at her.

Sasha pushed up his sunglasses and glared down at Morry, who’d been ranting to him for the past few minutes about young people and how little respect they had for their elders anymore. Sasha didn’t interact with enough young people to have any opinion on the subject, though he was sure Oleander was just referencing an article he’d read in the newspaper. He was a man who often got angry about things he’d read, whether or not it was true or had any affect on him whatsoever wasn’t important.

As Morry moved onto something else, Sasha’s thoughts wandered back to Milla. She was wearing a dress today that he’d never seen her in before, which made him wonder about how many dresses she owned. They were all so bright and colorful, which he usually didn’t enjoy, but the colors always complimented her.

“Nein, I swear to God, if you tuned out everything I just said, I’ll smack you silly,” Oleander threatened, bringing Sasha’s thoughts back to him.

Sasha responded by crossing his arms over his chest. “Your oatmeal was too sweet and you had to throw it out. You got a birthday card from your uncle, but it’s been four months since your birthday. You’re thinking about getting a new car, but are worried about paying off another loan. Did I miss anything important?”

Morceau glared harder and raised a fist at the man in front of him. “You think you’re so smart, don’t you, you- you incompetent Kraut?”

Sasha rolled his eyes, having been called similar things by his coworker plenty of times over the years. It could’ve been worse. “Well. I certainly don’t think of myself as dumb.”

“I certainly don’t think of myself as dumb!” Morry responded in a mocking tone. “C’mon, Nein. Don’t play coy with me. If you wanna stare at Vodello like a creep, then tell me! I’ll be your wingman!”

Mortified, but refusing to outwardly show it, Sasha responded by tightening his grip on his arms and straightening his back, making him even taller than the height-challenged agent that was so delighted to point out something so embarrassing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Right.”

“I’m serious, Morry,” he said sternly. “I don’t want you making her uncomfortable.”

Oleander laughed and then playfully punched Sasha in the arm, though it hurt more than he likely intended. “If anyone was gonna make her uncomfortable, it’d probably be the one staring at her like a watchdog!”

“Morry.”

“What? What?” Morceau glared. “You still can’t take a joke, huh?”

Sasha sighed, trying to stall while he thought of a reasonable explanation for his own behavior. He didn’t really have an actual explanation, if he was being honest, but he needed to come up with something to keep Oleander off his back and prevent the man from saying anything weird to Milla. He didn’t have a lot of friends and he’d be ashamed of himself if he managed to lose this one so quickly.

As he thought about that, he finally took note of who exactly Milla was talking to across the room - it was Agents Forsythe and 33, again. In fact, he frequently saw Milla with one or both of them, which he assumed was related to whatever case they were working on. A case which, for some reason, he’d not been brought into.

It was taking multiple missions and multiple meetings and multiple days - normally Sasha was included on any larger assignments like that, since he’d been with the Psychonauts for so long. But instead, Vodello and 33 were the ones that’d been recruited for it. Which was fine, honestly, but he didn’t really understand why he was being excluded. It caught his attention in that moment, and also struck him as a perfectly good explanation to Morceau.

“Agent Vodello has been meeting with Agents Forsythe and 33 repeatedly this week. Often with Grand Head Zanotto as well,” Sasha explained quietly. “I’m simply curious what’s going on.”

“Sure, sure,” Morry responded - acting like he didn’t believe Sasha, but turning to stare at the three women on the other side of the lobby. He put a hand to his chin as he seemed to acknowledge that Sasha was telling the truth. “It’s probably got somethin’ to do with this nightmare problem.”

“Nightmare problem?”

“Yeah. I don’t know the details, just heard some agents chatting about it earlier.” Morry shrugged. “Some nearby town is getting all nightmare-crazed and no one knows why.”

Sasha gave an affirmative hum as his response, shoving his hands into his pockets and glancing over at Milla again. Though this time, his eyes landed on Forsythe - who was staring right back at him. He quickly turned to Morceau and cleared his throat. “I should get back to work. Let me know if you find out any details about this.”

“I’ll ask around, but some of us have camp planning to work on!” Morry answered with a wag of his finger. “We can’t all just sit in our offices, twiddling our thumbs all day!”

“Right. I’ll keep that in mind next time I need you for anything,” Sasha responded with a roll of his eyes, and then he quickly levitated towards his office.

When Monday afternoon rolled around, Sasha had been helping Agent Mentallis set up one of his new Otto-Matic devices in the lobby when he noticed Milla again. She’d had to cancel their lunch for another sudden mission with Agent Forsythe and he ended up spending the late afternoon with his mentor instead. It was certainly not a waste of time, so he didn’t mind, but his thoughts kept drifting to this nightmare-related situation that he wasn’t being apprised of.

Milla noticed him quickly after she drifted into the room, and she shot Sasha a quick wave before following Forsythe and 33 to the Nerve Center. Sasha waved back in a way that he hoped looked relaxed and not awkward like he felt, but based on Agent Mentallis’ reaction, he had a feeling it did not.

“That’s the girl who stood you up for two dates in a row, right?” the older man asked, a knowing smirk on his face.

Sasha sighed and reached into his pocket for a cigarette, as he often did when Agent Mentallis made his little jokes and comments. “Not dates. And she was called for an assignment.”

“Right, of course.” He turned back to his machine, which wasn’t turning on no matter how many times he pressed the power button. “Oleander tells me you’ve been staring at her. I sure hope that’s not true!”

“Wh-? Why in the world would you two-?!” Sasha had to take a drag of his cigarette before he got too frustrated. He didn’t understand gossip. He’d never understand it. Gathering information was important, but talking about office interpersonal relationships was not. “I already explained to him that I’ve been trying to learn more about the missions she and Agent Forsythe keep going on.”

“Oh, yeah. Something to do with a nightmare town, right?” Agent Mentallis asked, still trying to press the power button.

“That’s what I’ve heard.” Sasha levitated around the side of the Otto-Matic, not completely surprised to find the plug laying on the ground next to the outlet. He sighed and telekinetically plugged it in.

“Hey! Would you look at that?” Agent Mentallis shouted as the device finally turned on. “This is gonna revolutionize things for you active agents, I promise you that!”

Sasha smoked his cigarette again, happy that Agent Mentallis was too distracted by his machinery to continue their conversation. He was quite tired of people making assumptions about his intentions with Agent Vodello. He didn’t have any intentions besides attempting to be her friend and he hoped that no one was suggesting otherwise to her.

“And, y’know, Sasha…” the older man added suddenly. “You could always try asking her out first. It’s easier than you’d think!”

“Gott in Himmel,” Sasha groaned. He really thought he’d gotten out of that conversation unscathed. “You are ridiculous, you realize that?”

He laughed in response and smacked the side of his Otto-Matic when the audio briefly stopped working. “An old man like myself has to find ways to entertain himself.”

“I’d stick to the machines if I were you.” Sasha glanced to the side and noticed Agent Forsythe emerge from the Nerve Center alone - she turned and headed towards the new wing, likely to get something from her office. He looked between her and Agent Mentallis, then decided he needed to man up and just ask her directly what was going on. “I’m going to go talk to Agent Forsythe. Do you need anything else from me?”

“You’re not reporting me, are you?” Agent Mentallis asked, feigning shock. “I bet Hollis would be happy to kick me outta here. She says I’m expensive!”

Sasha rolled his eyes. “No, Agent Mentallis. I’m going to ask her about this nightmare situation.” He started to walk towards the other side of the lobby. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye-bye, Nein!” Agent Mentallis responded, attention fully back on his Otto-Matic since the sound cut out again. He grumbled and smacked the side of it. “It was working fine in my lab! He better not’ve damaged it on the way here…”

As he worked on that, a certain yellow-skinned, red-haired agent was absentmindedly trying to read a magazine while sitting on a nearby couch when she decided to give up and just sighed loudly instead. She’d been eavesdropping on the conversation between Agents Mentallis and Nein, and she was so, so curious about what they’d been talking about.

It sounded like Sasha Nein had some kind of little crush on Milla Vodello. And that was a juicy piece of information that she wished she could tell somebody about.

Unfortunately, the last two people she’d attempted to gossip with had both complained and threatened to report her. So she sat there, alone, thinking about how nice it would be to have someone to talk back and forth with. Someone who understood how much fun it was to pay attention.

With another sigh, Sherri leaned her head back and stared up at the ceiling. She really needed a gossip buddy.

x

He caught up with Agent Forsythe as she was exiting her new office, and Sasha was glad that barely anyone used that hallway yet. Personally, he would’ve preferred to confront her in the confines of a room with a closed door, but he’d have to settle for a slightly public setting instead.

“Agent Forsythe.”

She looked up from the stack of papers in her hands and paused upon seeing him, plopping her feet back onto the ground. “Agent Nein. What’s going on?”

He stood firmly in front of her, holding his ground. It was true that Agent Forsythe could be intimidating, but he'd known her for over half a decade. He had to speak freely with her at some point. “I have something I need to discuss with you.”

Agent Forsythe stayed silent for a few moments, clearly waiting for him to continue. When he didn't start talking again, she responded. “Did you want to go to my office first, or…?”

“No. This is fine.” Sasha mentally berated himself for being so nervous. “It's about these missions you've been going on over the past week.”

“Ohhh, I see.” Agent Forsythe put a hand on her hip and shook her head. “Milla mentioned something about missing a lunch with you, but I need her for this, so you'll just have to wait a few more days ‘til we get this sorted out.”

Sasha took a deep breath, trying to ease the embarrassment of her assumptions. “No, that's not what I-!” He moved a hand to the side of his head, massaging a growing headache. “It's not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“This nightmare situation has continued for over a week past its initial assignment. I've noticed several meetings between you, Vodello, 33, and Grand Head Zanotto, which has led me to believe the situation has only gotten worse.” Sasha adjusted his sunglasses, as he often did when he felt like he'd been talking for too long. “Agent Vodello is a perfectly capable agent, I'm sure, but she's extremely new to this organization. I've been here for years. Why haven’t I been brought onto this assignment?”

Having spoken his peace, Sasha stuffed his hands into his pockets and hoped that he didn't get scolded for speaking out of turn. He wouldn't regret asking even if he did, but the thought of verbal punishment like that made the back of his neck sweaty.

“That's what this is about?” Agent Forsythe glanced at the clock on the wall, then looked back at him. “Agent Vodello is an expert with nightmares - her file is loaded with her history of fighting and containing them. I brought her into this because I thought her experience would make it a simple first mission.”

Sasha felt himself deflate a little. He didn't know that about Milla. He probably wasn't supposed to know that. “...oh.”

“You, on the other hand, need to be available in case something bigger comes up,” she continued. “Yes, the nightmare situation is…problematic. But it's contained within a small town - population less than two thousand. When a larger psychic problem inevitably comes up somewhere else in the world, I want you here and ready to take it on.”

Somehow, Agent Forsythe managed to make Sasha feel like both a fool and an irreplaceable member of their organization in one fell swoop. “I see. That…makes perfect sense.”

“I didn't think I’d need to update you on that,” Forsythe added. “But if you need more work to do, I know Oleander needs a lot of help with his big summer camp project.”

Sasha pushed his sunglasses up and shook his head. “No, I've got plenty. Just…wanted to know what was going on, is all.”

“Well, now you know.” Agent Forsythe levitated up into the air and floated past him. “Keep your eyes peeled, Nein. It's been a slow few weeks, which means psychic problems are just waiting to reveal themselves.”

He watched her float away and sighed again, feeling like a bit of a dope. Not only had he questioned a superior, but he'd inadvertently suggested that Agent Vodello wasn't important enough to be on missions that he wasn't on. What kind of friend did that make him?

And now he also knew that she was some sort of…nightmare expert.

Sasha’s thoughts drifted to little things she'd told him about her life prior to the Psychonauts, and his mind stalled when he started to think about the pain a powerful nightmare could bring to an otherwise healthy mind.

If he'd thought she was distracting before, Sasha knew it was just going to get worse.

[neopuff]

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

chapter ten: made up my mind ships: sasha/milla characters: milla, sasha, oleander, ford, lili word count: 4787 ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53435410/chapters/137330335

[chap 1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]

-

“You’re better at this than I thought you’d be, Nein,” Oleander said to his fellow counselor over dinner on the first day of camp.

“Uh…thanks,” Sasha responded. He wasn’t used to getting compliments from his coworker, even if it was a bit backhanded. Something was better than nothing, he supposed, and Milla made him promise to try and get along with Oleander while the children were around. He was, after all, nothing if not accommodating. Especially when she was sitting right next to him. “It helps that there’s only ten of them. I thought there’d be more.”

“Yeah, well, there’ll be more next summer!” Oleander responded while still chewing his food. “So don’t start thinkin’ being a counselor is easy! More kids means more heads to count and more mouths to feed!”

Sasha rolled his eyes at that comment, glad neither of the people he was eating with could see behind his sunglasses. He wasn’t involved in feeding the kids and counting fifteen instead of ten wasn’t exactly the trial and tribulation that Oleander described it as.

If Sasha wanted to be honest with himself, there were two elements to this camp counselor business that he was struggling with. The first was that the Grand Head’s young daughter, Lili, recognized him from the Motherlobe and kept speaking to him with much more familiarity than he felt was appropriate. She called him Sasha instead of Agent Nein. She also called him green bean, and she kept telling the other children that he was ‘a big softie.’ He’d never realized he made such an impression on her during their limited interactions in Grand Head Zanotto’s office.

The second thing he took issue with was a bit embarrassing. He was trying not to think about it too much. The dinner he was having with Oleander and Milla was the first time since waking up that he’d gotten to see his partner. And he was finding that he didn’t enjoy the camp as much when she wasn’t by his side.

He still reached out to her telepathically throughout the day, but Milla was almost always busy with one of the campers. She’d fallen back into childcare as easily and naturally as he’d expected, and Sasha was happy for her, he really was. But he’d gotten used to talking to her all the time and felt a bit empty without her thoughts in his head.

While they ate dinner - burgers, again - Sasha took note that Milla wasn’t focused on her food at all. She was watching the campers while they ate and chatted with one another and she looked very happy that they were all having a good time.

He turned to look at Morceau again since the man had quieted down, and was met with a knowing smirk and a repetitive glance between Milla and Sasha. Yes, sure, he’d just been staring at Milla. For a few seconds. Sasha didn’t think that was worthy of an annoying, suggestive stare. Telepathically, he reminded Oleander of his promise to stop, which led to the shorter man frowning and rolling his eyes.

Sasha spent the rest of dinner focused on his burger rather than conversation. He’d had a long day, after all.

X

Milla was really enjoying being a camp counselor.

It wasn’t like working at the orphanage, not really. A small part of her was worried that the experience might be triggering, which was the main reason why she’d hesitated about signing up. As much as she enjoyed being around children and teaching them new things, she didn’t want to put them in danger on the off chance that she had some sort of…episode.

It’d been a very long time since she’d experienced any of those particular issues. And with Sasha by her side, she felt confident that she’d be fine.

Unfortunately, Sasha wasn’t by her side as much as she’d hoped.

They were on the second day of camp, and she only really saw him at meals for the past two days. And it wasn’t as nice as their first two days on the grounds where they were by themselves, wandering and having a nice time. It’d felt almost like the romantic vacation that Morry had joked about. But he was right - once the kids had arrived, their free time was gone.

She really enjoyed working with the children. They were all so energetic and eager to learn and Milla was happy to teach them the basics about levitation. They also seemed to enjoy the music she played in her head, which was more than she could say for her partner.

Truman’s daughter stressed her out though - the little girl was now six years old, as her birthday had recently passed, and she really, really loved to play with fire.

Milla considered it a personal challenge to not focus too intensely on it. Lili wasn’t setting any other campers on fire and she was mostly just creating small balls of fire in the air and watching them dissipate, so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. The previous camp counselors complained that she was attacking fellow campers, so either she’d learned from her mistakes or Truman gave her a talking-to.

Either way, Milla was focusing on deep breathing and levitation. And enjoying the beautiful lake, of course. She held her levitation classes on some docks floating on the water so even if she didn’t get a chance to swim, she’d be able to soak up the smell. It was very nice.

After a long day of training and an equally long dinner (thanks to Morry telling a story about his time on the battlefield, though he never specified exactly what battlefield that was), Milla found herself feeling a bit restless.

The children were all in their cabins, hopefully getting to sleep, but she didn’t feel like going back to her own. She wanted a little break from childcare - it’d been a long time since she worked with kids, after all. It took some time to get used to it again. And she assumed that Sasha was struggling, even if he refused to show it. So before he could wander back to their cabin, Milla reached out telepathically to see if he wanted to go talk to Agent Cruller.

Sasha sent back an affirmative.

Milla had discovered the locations of a few other hollow tree stumps that led to Agent Cruller’s sanctuary. Not wanting to make Sasha uncomfortable with another tight squeeze, she headed there by herself and let him know to meet her. They’d planned to visit Ford on the first day of camp, but everything was so crazy with all the children arriving that they hadn’t had an opportunity.

She levitated out of the stump and into Ford’s sanctuary; Sasha following a few seconds later.

“Good to see you two again!” Cruller said with a toothy grin. “Camp’s a little crazier than you would’ve thought, huh?”

Sasha pushed up his sunglasses and shrugged. “It’s about what I predicted.”

“You said you needed help with some projects?” Milla asked, stepping closer. “What kind of projects?”

“Missions, mostly.” Ford scanned over some of the floating screens around them and pointed to one in particular. “I’ve got access to some real top-secret information down here. But if I try to send it off to HQ, well…they’ll throw it out.” He sighed deeply. “But you two are senior agents! If you bring the mission specs back to Truman, he’ll have no choice but to hear you out!”

Milla glanced at Sasha. It was true, as senior agents they had full access to investigate and dedicate their time to missions not assigned by the Grand Head. She wondered if it was a good idea to get involved in whatever Agent Cruller was working on, though. He seemed almost completely sane while underground, but things weren’t always as they appeared. She couldn’t get a read on the man’s mind, either, which didn’t ease her nerves.

“I get why you might hesitate,” Cruller said, reminding Milla that he was able to read her thoughts without trying. “We can start off with something light. Something small! If my lead goes nowhere, then you can ignore the ramblings of a crazy old man. But if I’m right and the Noodler is back on the prowl like I think he is…well, then you two could really help me out!”

“The Noodler? Again?” Sasha stepped forward and looked at the screen that Ford was pointing to. He took a minute to read through the document carefully. “I can’t deny that it looks like a promising lead. But why wouldn’t the Motherlobe have access to this?”

“The Motherlobe has too many checks and balances to go through,” Ford mumbled, scrolling through the article on the screen. “My sanctuary here is untraceably accessing data from around the world!”

Untraceably? Milla frowned. That didn’t sound legal or safe.

Sasha looked back at her and adjusted his sunglasses, silently telling her that he understood the same risks that she did.

Still…the Noodler was a dangerous man. If they could stop him, they should.

“We’ll do it,” Sasha said. “After the end of camp, we’ll head back to the Motherlobe and get to work on this assignment.” He looked at Milla again. “If you agree, of course.”

She was a little nervous about the situation, but saving lives and taking down dangerous criminals was important. “Yes. We’ll help you, Agent Cruller.”

They spent another hour down in Ford’s sanctuary, discussing various details of the Noodler case and other missions he was preparing for them. It seemed that Ford didn’t get much sleep - whether it was due to his mental break or the psitanium overload, he worked nonstop through the night. It was no wonder he was able to build his sanctum and railway system in just over two months.

Sasha and Milla made their way back onto the campgrounds once they realized how much time had passed. Time felt like it passed differently underground.

“Hey! Where the hell have you two been?”

The agents had levitated out of the stump near Oleander’s treehouse, and he seemed very unhappy to see them. Morry was lighting the path with a fireball held in the air near his head, and he glared at them like they’d really done something wrong by staying out a little later than usual.

“Um…” Milla started, not sure what to say.

“Jesus Christ, forget about it. I don’t wanna know,” Oleander grumbled, shaking his head. 

It was pretty obvious what he’d concluded, but neither Sasha nor Milla could think of a better explanation for their disappearance, so they decided to leave it alone.

“You two can’t just wander off whenever you want!” Morry continued to glare, the fireball next to him glowing hotter every time he growled. “Just because the kids are in bed doesn’t mean they’re asleep! You should know better - especially you, Vodello!”

Milla frowned. Of course she knew that. But she also knew she couldn’t watch them every second of every day - especially not when several of the campers knew how to temporarily turn invisible. But of course, Morceau had to continue exhaling the air of superiority he felt over them simply because the camp was his idea. “We just went for a walk, Morry. Calm down.”

“Weren’t you here watching the cabins?” Sasha added, offended on her behalf.

Morry shook his head disapprovingly. “Of course I was! That’s how I noticed you two were gone!” He glanced all around him, his eyes landing on something in the distance behind Sasha and Milla. “Now you two get back to the cabin. I’m gonna go fight off that psychic bear!”

He bounced past the two of them and into the darkness; the light from his little fireball was the only thing either of them could see after a few seconds.

“...that was annoying,” Sasha commented dryly, running a hand through his hair.

Milla reached down and grabbed his free hand, tugging him along behind her as she marched towards the cabin. “Come on, let’s try and get to sleep before he comes back.”

X

Sasha didn’t explicitly, purposefully try to piss Oleander off. It just happened. Especially when he specifically did the opposite of what the shorter man told him to do.

But he couldn’t help it. Oleander wasn’t his boss. Sasha had, in fact, been a part of the Psychonauts for longer than Oleander, even if it was only by a few months. It didn’t matter that Oleander was older and had battlefield experience (however that could possibly be relevant to the camp). Sasha was not his employee and would only do as asked if it made sense for him to do it.

This dynamic led to a tiring handful of days at Whispering Rock. In his efforts to avoid spending any extra time with Morry, Sasha dove into his work as a counselor. He showed the campers around his mental cube and showed them how to PSI-blast censors into oblivion. It was good practice and he found it relaxing to feel censors being destroyed. It was certainly a win-win situation. The children didn’t seem to like Sasha all that much on a personal level - he definitely overheard one of the older campers call him intimidating - but no one could deny that they were learning.

After a long day of training, Sasha was looking forward to chatting with Milla and perhaps going to see Agent Cruller again. But when he sat down to eat (another goddamn burger), she was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Milla?” he asked when Oleander sat across from him.

Morry shrugged. “She said something about not being hungry and then floated over that way,” he answered, pointing towards the reception area where they held regular campfire ceremonies.

Sasha frowned at the burger in front of him. Suddenly he wasn’t hungry, either. “I’ll go check on her.”

“Leaving all the kids in my care again, huh?” Morceau shook his head. “Not surprising.”

“Take my food and we’ll call it even.”

Oleander grabbed the burger greedily and plopped it onto his own tray. “Works for me! Have fun smooching.”

He didn’t bother to argue against that and quickly made his way towards the fire pit. Sasha had attempted to reach out to her telepathically, but found that she had closed her mind off to him. Most likely she’d closed off her mind to everyone, which left Sasha very concerned. It was rare that she felt bad enough to do that.

Sasha could smell the campfire, and as he turned a corner in the woods, he could clearly see Milla sitting alone on a log across from the flames. She was staring at them intensely, looking like she’d been hypnotized. He walked over, making sure to step on a twig or two so she’d know he was coming. It wouldn’t benefit either of them if he surprised her.

“Hi,” she said quietly as he sat down on the log next to her.

“Are you alright?” Sasha asked, ignoring the nudging at the back of his brain that said he was sitting too close.

“Fine.” She paused, then sighed. “No. Sorry. Not fine.”

He leaned his arms onto his knees and clasped his hands together. “If you’d like to talk about it, I’m happy to listen.”

Milla chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, then closed her eyes and sighed again. “Lili really enjoys fire.”

Ah. He wasn’t surprised to find out that that was the source of her anxieties. “She does.”

“She accidentally, um…well, I think it was accidental.” Milla stumbled over her words a bit, rolling her hands around in the air. “Set one of the boats on fire. I put it out right away and gave her a stern talking-to about it, but…” She sighed again and ran her fingers through her hair. “It’s still difficult sometimes.”

Sasha watched her carefully. It’d been a long time since they’d had a discussion about Milla’s issues with fire, especially since she’d been doing so well in avoiding triggers. They both knew going into the camp that there was a possibility she’d experience something that might remind her of harder times. “It’s always going to be at least a little difficult,” he said softly.

Milla took a deep breath, trilled her lips, then leaned over and plopped her head against Sasha’s shoulder. “Yeah, probably. A girl can dream, though.”

He closed his eyes and tried to will his heart into beating normally, especially when he noticed that Milla had scooted slightly closer to him on the log. It was very obvious to him, even in all his lack of social graces, that his partner was looking for some modicum of physical comfort. He was perfectly capable of providing such a thing, even if he’d have to work himself up to it.

So Sasha raised his left arm under her long hair and grabbed her left shoulder, holding her against him. That felt right. Sort of. It felt like the right thing to do.

Part of him realized the irony that he was doing exactly what Morceau had joked about, but he didn’t particularly care.

She reached out and grabbed his other hand with hers, absentmindedly stroking her fingers along his palm. The feeling was slightly intoxicating, but he knew that was just because it was Milla doing it.

“It’s true that these sorts of things will happen,” Sasha started. “What matters is how you react to them. It sounds like you did everything right, and hopefully Miss Zanotto won’t make that mistake again. But if she does…you’ll be there to help her.”

Milla squeezed his hand and leaned her head back just a little so she could look directly at him. “You always give such good pep talks, darling. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Sasha glanced down at her, nervously making eye contact. This was an extremely intimate moment for them that he knew he’d be filing away once it was over. If he was a different man, in a different time or place, maybe he’d even think that this was a perfect moment to kiss her. He would not be doing that, of course, since it would be insanely inappropriate. But the thought lingered in his mind nonetheless.

He did allow his hand on her shoulder to travel upwards and he lightly ran his fingers through her bangs. He’d noticed Milla doing that to herself when she felt nervous and thought it might be helpful.

She didn’t say anything about it for a moment before finally speaking up. “Mmm. That’s nice.”

If that wasn’t encouragement, he didn’t know what was. Sasha continued to run his fingers through her hair, gently stroking the side of her head while he did so. He didn’t want to stop, especially not when she was enjoying it. And he had every intention of keeping this information for the future…for the next time she was having a bad day.

She hummed satisfactorily as he continued his ministrations, and Sasha was suddenly even more aware of how close the top of her head was to his. He thought about how nice it was to hug her and hold her and play with her hair.

The crackling of the campfire and the chirping of crickets were the only noises in the reception area - far enough from the main lodge to block out the sounds of campers eating and chatting. Sasha could sense that there were no other minds nearby. He could sense that her mind was as relaxed as she said.

He leaned over and very lightly placed a gentle kiss against the top of her head.

It wasn’t anything special, especially not when she kissed him on the head or cheek anytime she wanted. But it was significant for him, as Sasha had not kissed anyone in a very long time. Not since he was extremely young.

It felt…nice.

Milla paused in rubbing her fingers against his palm for just a second - maybe even a half-second, hardly noticeable if he wasn’t paying such close attention - and then the relaxed aura radiating from her mind completely disappeared. He was about ready to let go of her and apologize when Milla pulled away and stared at his face, one of her hands still cradling his own.

“You’re such a sweet man,” she said softly.

Then, without a moment of hesitation, Milla wrapped her hands around Sasha’s head and pulled him closer to her. He’d gotten used to it (sort of), knowing that she was about to place a kiss on his cheek.

It was slightly different than usual, though. Milla’s lips came to an interesting part of Sasha’s face - technically on his cheek, but so close to his lips it made him feel more nervous than ever. He could feel the corner of her lips caress the corner of his own and he knew it didn’t quite count as a real kiss, but it was certainly something more. It was certainly something different.

Milla lingered there for a moment longer than usual and then pulled back, smiling brightly.

Sasha stared at her, not sure what to do or say. Her hands were still on the sides of his head and he knew that if he was going to kiss her, there would be no better opportunity. It felt right. It felt like she wanted him to. It felt really, really perfect.

But then she giggled and let go of his face and Sasha felt any semblance of confidence fade away. Not that there was much to begin with.

“I’m sorry, darling, I shouldn’t have worn such a dark shade of lipstick today!” She took off one of her gloves and pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket, giving it a lick before rubbing it against Sasha’s face. Right where she’d kissed him.

He pouted. “That’s not-” He paused as she swiped the handkerchief over his mouth for a second. “-...sanitary.”

“I think you’d rather have a little spit on your face than let Morry see you with a giant lipstick stain,” she said playfully.

Sasha couldn’t argue with that. He didn’t want to argue with that. He wanted to just sit and stare at her for an hour without interruption. But they had jobs to do and he needed to focus. Once she removed the stain, the goosebumps on his arms and sweat down the back of his neck would be the only evidence that anything had happened between them.

And his memories, of course. He would have to take a few minutes before falling asleep to do some mental organizing.

Milla pulled her handkerchief away from him and smiled. “There we go, handsome as always.” She put it away and stood up, brushing dirt off her legs and butt. “I’m actually feeling a little hungry now. Want to go back to the lodge?”

He stood up with her and adjusted his sunglasses. Hopefully she got the entire stain and not just part of it. The light of the campfire wasn’t the brightest, after all. “Sure. I could eat.”

She smiled and started levitating towards the lodge - Sasha quickly followed after her. He was glad she seemed to be feeling better.

X

Milla had an excellent last few days of camp.

After her little intimate - and undoubtedly romantic - moment with Sasha, the rest of the week had gone by like a breeze. Everything felt lighter. Lili didn’t set anything else on fire, the other children were excitable but falling in line and paying attention. It was great! Only one semi-disaster in an entire week of camp? That felt like a win.

The parents were arriving to pick everyone up - Truman picked up Lili, though Milla knew that he’d be taking her to the airport soon to spend the rest of the summer with her mother. Most of the other parents were fellow Psychonauts so she had a nice, brief conversation with Agent Bubai before he left with his daughter.

Milla waved goodbye to everyone as they got in their vehicles, then turned to see Sasha and Morry chatting off to the side. She hadn’t heard most of their conversation, but managed to catch the end.

“Alright, alright. You did a decent job. I’ll back off. Happy?”

“Delighted.”

Milla floated over and smiled at them. “It’s so sad to see everyone go.”

Morry nodded thoughtfully and Sasha shrugged, which was about the response that she expected.

“It looks like everyone had a nice time, at least,” she added, hoping to get a little more conversation out of the two of them.

“You bet they did! And I’ll-hey!” Oleander interrupted himself when he noticed Truman in the parking lot. “Zanotto! Wait a sec!” He rushed away from the two other counselors, almost slamming into Truman’s car as he tried to stop him.

Milla chuckled and glanced over at Sasha. “What were you two talking about?”

“Something idiotic,” he answered, adjusting his sunglasses again. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. “It’s always something stupid with him.”

“That’s not very nice, darling,” Milla responded. She chose not to comment on the cigarette - he’d been smoking a lot less since they came to the campgrounds. Maybe the fresh air really was good for him.

He shrugged, taking a long drag.

Milla watched him standing there and suddenly felt very nervous. Sometimes it was hard to get a read of what Sasha was thinking, even when she had full access to his mind. She wanted to tell him something very important that could potentially alter their partnership for the foreseeable future, but she felt very strongly about it and the longer she put it off, the worse it would be.

She took a deep breath and tugged her hair behind her ears. She was probably overthinking things.

“Um, Sasha…” she started, then took a deep breath to calm herself down. “I need to talk to you.”

Milla could feel him start to get nervous, probably feeding off of her own nervousness. And then that made her even more nervous.

“About what?” he asked, though there was a slight hesitation in his question.

She clasped her hands together in front of her and stared out at the parking lot, not at Sasha’s face. Just in case he was unhappy with what she was going to say, she didn’t want to see his expression. “I…I would like to keep coming here. Regularly. Maybe even full-time, I don’t know. It depends how often the camp runs next summer. And I…I hope you do, too, but if not, then…” She tugged at the end of her hair. “Then we’ll have to put our partnership on hold during the summers so I can focus on the camp. I really feel like I can do a lot of good here and I’d like to pursue it.”

Having spoken her mind, Milla squeezed her eyes shut and hoped he wouldn’t be mad. Or worse, be sad.

“Camilla.”

She opened one eye to find him looking at her with a semi-confused expression. That certainly wasn’t what she’d expected.

“I’d be happy to come back here, too. I had a good time this week,” Sasha said, taking another drag of his cigarette. “With you. And the campers. It feels…rewarding, I suppose, to teach young minds.”

Milla smiled brightly. She’d been so pessimistic about what his response might be that she hadn’t even considered the possibility of him wanting to come back with her. Despite all of his bickering with Morceau, it seemed like the children and the outdoors had a very positive effect on him. “I’m so happy to hear that!”

He cleared his throat awkwardly and turned away from her. “It’s also nice to get away from the Motherlobe every once in a while. It can get noisy over there. Too many people bothering me. I could see myself building a small lab out here.” He paused and looked back towards the rest of the camp. “Maybe somewhere underground.”

She reached over and locked arms with Sasha, squeezing tight. “That sounds perfect, darling. Like a little home away from home.”

Sasha smiled at her. “So long as you’re here, too,” he said softly, almost too soft for her to hear.

But she did hear it, and she loved hearing it, and she wanted to hug and kiss him so badly it hurt. Instead, since she was a rational adult who did rational things and would not make everyone uncomfortable by smooching her partner in front of their coworkers and campers, she simply leaned into him and enjoyed the feeling of being so close to him.

Morceau was right. Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp was a great idea.

[neopuff]

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

chapter eight: keep me in mind ships: sasha/milla characters: milla, sasha, oleander, hollis, otto word count: 4784 ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53435410/chapters/137330257

[chap 1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

-

Five and a half years was a long time.

As of 1985, Morceau Oleander had been with the Psychonauts for almost thirteen years, and he’d never seen Sasha Nein work so consistently with another person. It was fascinating, if he was being honest. He hadn’t thought it was possible. But Milla Vodello was nothing if not a miracle worker.

Morceau liked the two of them. Well, he liked Milla. He tolerated Sasha in appropriately small doses, as the lanky man did to him. 

But having a friendly relationship with them wouldn’t change his goals. Oleander’s grand master plan was finally going to get in motion. After five years of agonizingly slow and pain-staking hard work, the Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp was going to open its doors to the first group of psychic children that would someday power his army of brain tanks. Once he figured out all the other details, anyway.

Whispering Rock Valley was a perfect location. The large psitanium deposits meant psychic powers would be amplified, there was a beautiful lake for normal camp nonsense, and it was a remote-enough area to avoid interference from locals. The past five years had been spent planning, excavating the grounds, building the campsite, creating psychic safety measures to ensure safety for the kids and counselors, and then more planning. It was the biggest project he’d ever worked on, and Oleander was damn proud of it.

For the very first summer of Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp, they’d just have one camp session per month and just a handful of kids per session. Oleander would be a counselor at the camp every session, but the other two (or more!) counselors could swap. He didn’t really care. He was more concerned about working on his actual plan, and enjoying how the psitanium would enhance his natural psychic abilities.

The first session was set to begin on June 9th and end on the 16th. There were only seven kids signed up, and they were all the children or relatives of Psychonauts, but Oleander wasn’t deterred. The first summer was guaranteed to be slow! Their name wasn’t out in the world just yet.

“Morceau,” Otto commented one day while walking through the Motherlobe lobby. “I think all that psitanium exposure could be good for Ford. You should bring him along and let me know if you see any improvement.”

“You want me to bring Agent Cruller to the summer camp?” Oleander had asked, thoroughly baffled. It wasn’t like Cruller could do anything about his plans, not when the man was so mentally messed up, but the thought still made him nervous. “But then…who’s gonna sort the mail? Clean the bowling shoes?”

Otto glared at the shorter man. “We can always find replacements for that. Take him with you.”

Oleander did as he was told - after checking with Grand Head Zanotto and Lesser Head Forsythe, of course - and decided to embrace it. Cruller being around didn’t need to be a setback. It was just an inconvenience that ultimately wouldn’t change anything.

“Please be gentle with the children,” Milla said to him the day before he left for camp. “They can only handle so much of your…intensity.”

“You could always come along, you know!” Oleander responded with a toothy smile. “I’ll bet you’re great with kids!”

“Ah…I, um. I’ll think about it,” she’d answered shyly, then floated away.

Morceau thought that was an odd response, and Sasha’s appearance next to him made it even stranger.

“She used to work with children. It’s been a while,” Sasha said quietly, adjusting his sunglasses. “Perhaps we’ll join you next summer.”

Oleander glared at the taller man. “I didn’t say you could come, too, Nein. You’d scare the kids half to death!”

Sasha glared back, looking slightly offended.

Morceau decided not to give the other man a chance to talk back. “I know you two are connected at the hip, but there’ll be no time for smooching at my camp! It’ll be psychic training all day, every day!” He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled.

“You are intolerable,” was Sasha’s only response as he floated away.

Notably, in the same direction that Milla had just gone. Nein wasn’t doing anything in his favor to fight the rumors about the two of them and Oleander thought it was very, very funny.

X

Milla was excited to talk to Morceau as soon as he returned from the first session at Whispering Rock. He'd gone with Agents Aaronson and Whittaker, neither of whom seemed all that excited about the opportunity, but were both asked to keep things in line. The two of them looked absolutely exhausted when they returned - like they'd been on the battlefield instead of babysitting a bunch of children.

“It was…too much,” Agent Aaronson said when Milla caught up to him. “Oleander already stresses me out. Add a bunch of preteens and I was ready to rip my hair out!”

“Oh.” Milla was disappointed by Aaronson’s reaction, not sure if she'd have felt the same. It didn't take her long to find Whittaker, who looked similarly worn out.

“You ever work with kids, Agent Vodello?” Whittaker asked, not expecting an answer. “Think about all that energy. Think about how much they don't like to listen. Then give them psychic powers and try to stop the five-year-old from setting the fourteen-year-old’s hair on fire.”

She nodded, not really sure what to say. Milla wasn't going to pretend that she didn't have a vested interest in Oleander’s camp project. But it sounded very scary. Especially the idea of children being able to create fire with their minds.

It stressed her out to think about it too much.

After talking with the two of them, Milla finally found Morceau - he'd just finished up a briefing with Truman and Hollis and looked much lighter and happier than his two compatriots.

“How'd it go, Morry?” she asked, a bit hesitant after the bad reviews she'd already heard.

“How'd it go? How'd it go?” he responded, getting louder as he spoke. “It went amazing! These kids are hungry to learn! And Zanotto’s little girl, you should've seen her! I never could've imagined such a young mind could be so powerful!”

Truman’s daughter, Lili, was the youngest camper to attend the first camp session. Everyone knew about it because Truman talked about it constantly. Ever since his divorce, his daughter had become his entire world. Milla wondered if he was trying to make up for the time he didn't spend with his ex-wife.

Milla and Sasha had met Lili a handful of times when she came to work with her father. She was feisty and adorable and occasionally difficult to keep track of. Very adventurous, always wandering off on her own.

The idea of her creating fire with her mind made Milla feel very nervous. Five-year-olds shouldn't even use a stove yet, let alone start fires spontaneously.

“The parents were so excited, too,” Oleander continued. “Everyone took a handful of pamphlets, probably to hand out to fellow psychics with their own psychic kids. This is gonna be a gold mine, I'm telling you!”

“How many children are signed up for July?”

“A week ago there were just five, but a bunch of the campers asked to come back right away so we're already up to nine!” Morceau was smiling bright and looked immensely proud of himself. “I'm telling you, Vodello, the next generation of Psychonauts is gonna be the strongest yet!” 

She smiled at him, despite the unease she still felt. Strong wasn't a word she liked attributing to children. They shouldn't have to be strong. But it was hard to deny that they'd be safer if they were properly trained on how to use their powers, especially when those powers involved fire.

“I'm happy for you, Morceau,” Milla said, still smiling. “I'm glad you worked so hard to set this up. You're really going to change those kid's lives.”

Sasha watched the two of them talk. He'd been casually observing them for the entirety of their conversation, but only because he'd been looking to talk to Oleander and Milla got to him first. Sasha had been paying attention to Morceau’s camp for a while, knowing that his partner would eventually, undoubtedly, want to participate.

Years ago, before meeting Milla, Sasha wouldn't have even considered it. What Morry said two weeks ago was right - Sasha did tend to scare kids. He wasn't good at being around them. But he knew that Milla would want to check it out, at the very least. 

She’d struggled to be around children for too long in the aftermath of her incident, but in the past few years she'd worked through a lot of those feelings. It was true that she'd never get rid of the nightmares, not entirely, but she made them weaker. A little at a time. And he was proud of her.

He watched as Milla gave Morceau a little kiss on top of his head, which Sasha found himself frowning at for no discernable reason, and then he frowned deeper as Morry shouted at her retreating figure. 

“Save the smooches for your partner!”

Sasha had told Morceau on more than one occasion to stop with the comments, but knowing he was making them to Milla as well made him especially unhappy. She didn’t need to deal with that sort of thing.

As she left the lobby, Sasha levitated to where she just was and stood right next to Morceau, who took a second to notice the new presence next to him.

“Nein,” he said sourly.

“Morry,” Sasha responded, hands in his pockets.

“What do you want?” Morceau glared up at him. “Don’t tell me you suddenly care about the camp.”

“Do you already have counselors assigned for the rest of the summer?”

That question earned Sasha a suspicious stare. “July’s covered, but August is still open. Why? You’re actually considering this?”

Sasha crossed his arms over his chest. “Why is that so surprising to you? I’ve no issue with spending time outdoors. Or with…children.”

“Are you kidding? You spend every hour of every day in your lab! Do you even know how to swim?” Oleander threw his hands up. “We’re teaching these kids real life skills! How to use their psychic powers to protect themselves, but also how to find community and feel like a hero! Do you think you can handle something like that?”

It was an interesting question. Sasha hadn’t thought of the camp in such a melodramatic way before, he mostly thought of it as some sort of training facility for kids. But he didn’t attend any kind of summer camp when he was a boy, so he didn’t really have experience to compare it to. He didn’t hate the outdoors, though, he just preferred his lab because he liked getting work done. There was nothing wrong with that.

“I do know how to swim,” was Sasha’s immediate response, though it felt kind of silly to say out loud. He didn’t know how to swim well, but he wouldn’t drown if thrown into the water. “I see no reason why I couldn’t do my usual work at Whispering Rock.”

Oleander sighed deeply. “This is why I didn’t invite you, Nein. You’re not focusing on the kids! You’re just thinking about yourself. If you really want to be a counselor, you have to be a counselor. Got it?”

Sasha pouted slightly. “Got it,” he answered, hating that he was being scolded by Morceau Oleander of all people. It wasn’t like Oleander didn’t have a point, though. Sasha knew he’d have to put aside real time to pay attention to the campers and not just work on his own projects. Which would be difficult, since he often lost track of time when he was working.

But he knew that Milla would want to go and he wanted to be there with her. It would be worth it to try something new.

“We'll join you in August,” Sasha said after going over his thoughts.

“Uh-huh.”

“I'm serious.” Sasha clenched his arms tighter across his chest and tapped a pointer finger against his arm. “I…promise to pay attention to the children. I'll be on my…best behavior.” It was causing him physical pain to speak like that to a man like Oleander.

“Talk to your partner about it first, why don't you?” Morry opened a little notebook and wrote something down. “I'll hold the space ‘til the end of the day, but no longer than that!”

Sasha took a deep breath. He was so easily irritated by him. “I appreciate that.”

“But I meant what I said before, Nein. This isn't some lovey-dovey vacation for you and Vodello to cuddle by the campfire! You won't get any of the silly romantic alone time you're looking for. It's real work! And it's hard and unforgiving and you'll want to pull your hair out sometimes!” Oleander shook his head and held a hand dramatically to his chest. “But it's worth it! Trust me, it's worth it.”

“...I have absolutely no expectations for anything romantic,” Sasha said after a moment of hesitation. He never knew how to respond to Oleander when he got all intense and weird. “You need to stop with the comments, Morry.”

“You're such a tight-wad, Nein!” Morceau rolled his eyes. “But y'know what? If you can actually manage to be an attentive camp counselor for an entire week, I swear you'll never hear a joke about you and Vodello ever again!”

That got Sasha’s attention. If that was what it would take to stop the comments, then that was exactly what he'd do. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

With a grumble about being late for something, Morceau left the lobby, and Sasha stood there awkwardly for a few moments. He needed to go find Milla.

Sasha made his way down the hallway towards his lab and turned to look at the office next to his - the office that now belonged to his partner, Milla Vodello. She'd just earned the space recently and he couldn't have been prouder.

He could feel that she was in there - Milla tended to keep her mind open to him, allowing him to speak to her telepathically any time he wanted. And he was similarly allowed to enter her office any time he wanted, so he quickly stepped up and allowed the Thinkerprint lock to open the door for him.

Milla wasn't levitating in the middle of the room like he'd expected - instead, she was organizing some books and photos on one of her bookshelves.

“Hello, Sasha!” she chirped happily, still looking at the books in front of her.

“...hello,” he responded. Suddenly, Sasha felt a bit nervous. He could've just told her that he'd volunteered them for camp counselor duty telepathically, he didn't need to come all the way over to her office just to inform her. But he wanted to be present for whatever reaction she had. Maybe she'd be mad and tell him she's not ready, or maybe she'd be very happy and give him a hug.

He liked getting hugs from her.

“How's your day been?” Milla asked, levitating over to him.

“Fine.” Sasha kept his hands in his pockets, but he suddenly had an urge to smoke. He didn't usually have that urge around Milla anymore. “I…I have an important question to ask you.”

She tilted her head adorably. “What is it?”

Sasha stared at her for another moment before answering. “Um…would you be interested in being counselors at Oleander's camp? This August, perhaps?”

Milla’s eyes practically sparkled. “Really?”

“Really. I already asked him about it and there's no one signed up yet.”

She smiled at him - toothy and bright, but a little nervous. “Oh, darling, I-I would absolutely love that! But…”

He raised a single eyebrow curiously. There was a but?

“...I don't want you to force yourself to go just because of me.” She clasped her hands together and held them over her chest. “I'm not even sure if I'm…if I'm ready yet, so we can-”

Sasha interrupted her, not wanting to hear her spiral. “It's not just because of you. I'm very curious about Whispering Rock and seeing what the young psychics are capable of.” He paused, then added, “And for whatever it's worth, I think you're ready.” Sasha hesitated for a moment, then reached out and placed one hand on her shoulder. “You've made a lot of progress since you first started here, Milla. I think you owe it to yourself to try.”

The smile on her face grew bigger and bigger as he spoke, until finally Milla launched herself forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and shoulders.

Sasha took a deep breath - he was trying to get less embarrassed when she hugged or kissed him, but it was difficult. He was embarrassed. But he didn't want her to stop.

He still felt himself turn rigid as much as he tried to stop it, and slowly he moved one hand to her back. He could hug her, too. No reason why he couldn't.

Then Milla moved her hands to his head and held it in place while she left multiple little kisses on his cheek. She was definitely very happy with him.

Sasha was soaking up the feeling of her lips. One of her kisses was only an inch away from his own and it was difficult not to sweat at the thought.

“Thank you, Sasha!” Milla finally said, pulling back just a bit but allowing his hand to linger on her back. “I love this idea. I love it. August, right? I can go talk to Morry and see if we need to bring anything…” She sighed deeply and squeezed him tight again before pulling away completely. “We should talk to Hollis and Truman, too, just to make sure it's alright. But I'm sure it will be.”

Sasha’s arms felt cold and empty without her warmth. He stared at her with an absentminded smile, hoping his cheeks weren't as red as they felt (they definitely were). He couldn't fight the little smile on his face and watched as she did a little levitating spin.

“Thank you for this, darling,” Milla said cheerfully, coming down to his level again. She leaned in and gave him a peck on his other cheek. “Thank you, I love you, I'm going to go talk to Morry! I'll let you know what he says!”

She rushed out of the room, leaving Sasha behind to marinate in what just happened. His cheeks were bright red and he felt sweat all down the back of his neck.

She said I love you.

Of course, it wasn't the first time the word love had come up between them. It could be a very playful, platonic term in certain contexts. But usually she'd say it around other people - when asked how their partnership was going, she'd say I love working with Sasha or it's absolutely lovely! or something along those lines.

Never before had she privately told him I love you.

Sasha knew a memory vault would've been forming in his head if not for the detailed filing cabinet of memories dedicated specifically to her. He could hardly believe the Milla Vodello cabinet started out as a single folder.

He continued to stand there in Milla’s office, taking deep breaths and trying to will his heart to stop beating so fast. He was an adult and she was his partner and he needed to figure out how to accept her affections without losing his motor functions. Hugging her back (even a little bit) was somewhat helpful. Perhaps his next step would be to kiss her back.

Sasha’s face heated up immediately at that thought. He would not be doing that. 

He…he needed to find some work to do.

X

“Morry!” Milla shouted, waving at the shorter man.

Oleander turned to look at her, a curious eyebrow raised, but then he seemed to remember something and smiled. “I'm guessing you and Nein talked?”

She levitated closer and smiled. “We did! August works perfectly for me.”

“Alright! That's good to hear!” Morceau opened his little notebook and wrote something down. “I trust you with this more than Nein, but I'm gonna say it anyway. This isn't gonna be some lovey-dovey romantic vacation, got it? Your jobs are to train these kids and that's what I expect to happen!’

Milla tilted her head slightly. Morry made the occasional joke about her and Sasha’s relationship, so it wasn't particularly surprising to hear that he also made them to Sasha. But after the little faux-pas she just committed (saying I love you to her partner was a bit much!), she felt especially embarrassed about it. But how would Morry know that? He was just being the same as usual.

“You don't have to worry about that,” she mumbled, running her fingers through her hair. There was definitely no chance of something romantic happening between them on a normal day - when surrounded by children? Out in the woods? Even less. Negative chances. “Do we need to bring anything?”

Morry shook his head. “Nothing special. Clothes, toiletries, the usual camp stuff.”

“Oh, good. That'll make it easy,” she said with a smile, happy that he didn't try to stick to the subject of romance. “I guess I'll go tell Hollis and Truman-”

“No need! I already took care of it!” Morceau smiled up at her. “Hollis pre-approved any agents who showed interest in the camp for the first two years! And you'll get paid overtime, too! Trust me, Vodello, you're gonna love it there. The great outdoors, the fresh air…and Agent Cruller has been amazing!”

“Huh?” Milla stared at him curiously. “Agent Cruller is there?”

“Mentallis suggested it. Figured the psitanium would be good for the old man’s brain.” Oleander seemed to think of something and then quickly wrote it down. “I don't know if it's been good for him, but he's been cooking and cleaning all over the camp! Making my life a lot easier. At first, I was worried about having him there, but it's been great!”

She nodded, surprised to hear all of that information. “I suppose Agent Mentallis tends to have good ideas.”

“You bet he does!” Oleander said with a smile. “Ooh, speaking of good ideas, I've been thinking about ways to promote the camp to kids who don't have psychic parents.”

“How's that?”

“We need to keep it sort of secretive, y'know, since the average person doesn't understand psychics or Psychonauts or anything we do. But we still want people to be interested, so there needs to be lots of details out there for them to see.”

Milla nodded slowly, no idea where he was going.

“And what do kids love, Vodello, that adults ignore and dismiss as silly?” Oleander spoke like he wanted her to respond, but immediately answered himself. “Comic books!”

Milla stood there awkwardly. She was never much of a comic book reader. “I'm not sure I understand.”

“Hear me out, okay? We produce a series of comic books that detail the exploits that we Psychonauts go on! Psychic kids will read them and know it's real, but random adults will assume it's just another fictional story they can ignore!”

She didn't even know how to word her next question. What the hell was he talking about?

“You seem confused. Let me give you an example,” Morry said, opening his notebook and flipping to a random page near the end. On it, there was a pretty decent drawing of a much younger Grand Head Zanotto shooting out a PSI-blast at an unseen enemy. “This issue would be all about Truman taking down the Psychic Scrambler! I'm just realizing you weren't here for that, but maybe you know about it anyway. The comic would show him at the Motherlobe, getting the assignment, then fighting the Scrambler and taking him back to base for processing! Kids will love it! They'll see this and desperately want to learn more about the Psychonauts!”

Milla held one hand to her chin, still completely confused. “Y'know what, Morry…if you think it'll work, then it's at least worth a shot, right?” She smiled at him, but she also felt like she needed a coffee. “I'm sure Hollis will like it.”

“What will I like?”

The two of them turned to see that Second Head Forsythe had entered the room and was levitating closer to them as they spoke.

“Hello, Hollis!” Milla said with a smile. “Morceau and I were talking about Whispering Rock. Sasha and I just signed up to be counselors in August.”

Hollis smiled and nodded. “That's great to hear. I was wondering when you'd take part.” She turned to look at Oleander. “Is that what I'm going to like?”

“I was telling Vodello here about an inexpensive advertising campaign for the camp!” Morry said with a proud smile. “And it'd be sneaky, too! Only fellow psychics would understand!”

She put a hand on her hip and smiled at him. “Oh, really?”

As Morceau explained his comic book idea to her, Milla watched them and wondered when their relationship had improved so much. Sometimes it felt like she was so focused on her work with Sasha, that she barely paid attention to anyone else anymore. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd hung out with Sherri, and she never worked with Agent 33 anymore. Though there were rumors that 33 avoided working with Sasha whenever possible, so that could've been the reason.

“Y'know what, Oleander?” Hollis said, pulling Milla out of her thoughts. “If you can find an artist for this, then we'll do it. We made so much money from this first week of camp - you've clearly got some great ideas in that head of yours.”

“Yes!” Morry pumped a fist in the air. “I know just the gal!” Then he ran off in another direction, not even bothering to say goodbye.

Hollis looked at Milla and smiled gently. “I'm glad you're going, Milla. Truman will be, too. He was just telling me how he knew you could convince Sasha to go with you.”

Milla chuckled at that. “It was actually the other way around,” she said shyly, tugging some hair behind her ear. She still felt a little embarrassed talking about her partner after what she'd said to him. “Sasha suggested it and convinced me to go!”

The older woman frowned. “Really?”

Milla blinked at her. Why would she lie about something like that? “Um…yes, really. Why?”

“I'm just surprised, is all. Kind of thought Sasha hated kids.” Hollis shrugged, like the suggestion wasn't strange at all. “He's always so awkward around Truman’s daughter.”

Hate seemed a bit strong, in Milla’s opinion. It wasn't like he'd had the opportunity to be around many children before.

“Well, I should be fair to him. He can be awkward around a lot of people. Except for you, of course.”

There were clearly a lot of thoughts running through the Second Head’s mind, and Milla decided she should do her best to clear them up before she said anything else about her partner that wasn't super polite. “Ah, well! Sasha is always supporting me and my, um, mental health journey, so he was probably trying to encourage me! It's very sweet of him.”

Hollis nodded her head slowly and put her other hand on her other hip. “He's really blossomed from working with you, Milla. Honestly, if you saw what he was like when he first came here, you'd hardly recognize him.”

“That's what I've heard,” Milla responded awkwardly. She really wanted that coffee.

“Well, that's good to hear. I hope you two have fun at the camp.” Hollis suddenly closed her eyes, looking like someone was talking to her telepathically. “I've got to go, but I've got a new assignment for the two of you, so make some space in your schedule for a briefing later today. Maybe around 2.”

Milla nodded, happy at the change of subject. “Of course! I'll let Sasha know.”

And then suddenly she was alone in the middle of the lobby. Milla felt oddly vulnerable - the room was too quiet. It felt like anyone and everyone was listening in on her conversations the entire time, even though she knew that wasn't true.

Probably not, anyway.

She ran her fingers through her hair and finally made her way to the Noodle Bowl. She could talk to Sasha again after getting herself a coffee.

Oh, actually - she would get a coffee for him, too! He'd probably like that.

[neopuff]

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

chapter seven: broaden the mind ships: sasha/milla characters: milla, sasha, oleander word count: 7311 ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53435410/chapters/137330218

[chap 1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

-

Many things came naturally to her.

Dancing, having great hair, friendly conversation, caring about children…

…and best of all - being a psychic secret agent.

Within a year of working with the Psychonauts and working alongside Agent Nein, Milla had become an agent of significant renown. Everyone in the Motherlobe knew her by name and reputation and by her brightly colored dresses. They even started to call her the Mental Minx. Psychonauts from around the world knew of the exploits and successes of Agents Nein and Vodello.

They had the highest mission success rate of any partnership in Psychonauts history. They saved countless lives. They solved mysteries long forgotten. They uncovered psychic secrets. And best of all - they looked good while doing it.

x

July 6th, 1980 Liverpool, England

“Sasha,” she communicated psychically, not wanting to give away their position, “I can feel them up ahead. Two minds full of turmoil - though one is much more disjointed than the other.”

He nodded at her and they continued towards the door, making sure to stay invisible the entire time. “No matter what happens, make sure you work as quickly as possible.”

“Of course, darling. We’ll get Owens out of here safely.”

They went silent for a minute, focusing on the creaking and shifting sounds made by the abandoned factory. It clearly hadn’t had anyone inside in a very long time - the hustle and bustle of new activity was probably dangerous. If the bomb didn’t kill everyone, the building could just fall down on its own.

Up ahead, the two agents spotted a large, triangular door. It was already open, and they could hear someone talking quite loudly. More than talking, actually - he was bragging. Bragging about his evil exploits.

Milla shook her head and could practically feel Sasha rolling his eyes behind the sunglasses. They’d faced a good number of villains together, but they never got used to the showboats.

“Just a few seconds to go, mon cherie!” boomed the haughty voice from the other room. “And now it’s my time to say…adieu!”

Milla and Sasha locked eyes and decided there was no better time to get moving - they’d struggled to find the location and wasted too much time getting inside. There was no more time to lose.

Together, they burst into the room, not surprised to see Owens tied crudely to a large explosive device and Vaillant attempting to sneak out the window.

“Sacre bleu!” Vaillant shouted. He started to scurry, moving his arms and legs faster than ever.

Sasha reached out a telekinetic hand to grab onto his shirt. “I’ve got him, Milla - get the bomb!”

“Already on it!” she responded quickly. She created an extended time bubble, giving herself extra time to use telekinesis and take apart the bomb from the inside. She’d studied this. She knew exactly what to do. Didn’t make the situation any less nerve wracking - but Sasha staying so close by was helpful. He was letting her know how confident he was in her ability to save them all, and she wouldn’t let him or anyone else down.

The time bubble ended and one more second passed before the timer finally stopped - with 0:01 left on the screen. Milla took a deep breath and pretended not to notice the drop of sweat sliding down Sasha’s face.

“Excellent work, Agent Vodello,” he said with a smile, still holding the wriggling and ranting Vaillant in the air.

“Thank you very much, Agent Nein!” Milla responded, reaching down to untie Owens.

The short, portly man was hyperventilating until she untied the rope, then he jumped into the air gleefully. “Oh, thank you! Thank you both so much!” he shouted, wrapping his arms around Milla’s waist and hugging her tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

She looked surprised for a moment, then patted his back. “We’re just glad you’re safe!”

Sasha stared at them, unable to hold back a pout. He didn’t one hundred percent understand why he was pouting, but there it was. And he couldn’t look away from the man latched onto his partner - she didn’t seem uncomfortable, but Sasha still felt an urge to pull him off of her. Some people were too presumptuous, initiating such significant physical contact with strangers.

He thought back to the first time Milla had hugged him and then turned away from her, running a hand through his hair. They knew each other a little by then, at least. It wasn’t remotely comparable.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Milla asked, suddenly standing next to him. “Did we miss something?”

“No.” He glared up at Vaillant, who was still cursing at the three of them loudly. “He’s giving me a headache, is all.”

She smiled at him and laid her hand gently against his arm. “All the more reason to get him to the local authorities as quickly as possible!”

Normally they’d bring caught villains back to the closest Psychonauts facility for processing, but Vaillant wasn’t actually psychic. He’d been faking it for months in an attempt to steal from the locals, not realizing he’d caught the eye of the Psychonauts by doing so. For a while they’d just monitored him, but his recent murder attempt was significant enough to warrant their interference. Local police wouldn’t have gotten to Owens in time, so it was worth the exposure risk to save at least one innocent life.

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” he answered with a smile.

x

Hollis was right, working with Sasha had taught Milla so much about being a Psychonaut. He was patient with her when she struggled and encouraging when she needed a boost. He was intelligent and worldly and knew exactly how to handle the homicidal psychics that tried to stir up trouble.

That being said, Milla liked to think she taught him things, too. Sasha socialized more often since their partnership began, and he was more confident when it came to certain types of missions.

x

April 18, 1981 Pretoria, South Africa

Milla enjoyed dressing up. Everyone knew that about her - she was always dressed to impress, after all, and had a comprehensive selection of beautiful clothes to choose from every day. It was one of those little things that made her feel better, especially when she was having a bad time.

Getting to dress up for a mission was a special treat. And even more special, was getting to see Sasha dress up, too! His clothes were modest, conservative, and repetitive. He had several of the exact same jacket and pants to prevent wasting any time getting ready in the morning. But for their current mission, he had no choice but to play dress-up with her.

She’d chosen his outfit for him - the villainous party they’d be attending was glamorous and avant-garde, two things that Sasha Nein did not know how to dress for.

Luckily, his partner was well-versed in all things fashion.

Milla was making some last-minute adjustments to her outfit - deciding on which earrings to wear always took her the longest amount of time - when she heard shuffling behind her. She smiled and decided on the long, large dangles when a voice spoke up behind her.

“You, um…you look lovely, Camilla.”

Getting compliments from Sasha Nein wasn’t rare - in the past year, he’d begun to compliment her more and more on her skills and occasionally her hair when she put some work into it. But it still made her feel very, very good. She smiled brightly and turned around, putting the earrings in. “Thank you, Sasha! Maybe I’ll try this hairstyle again sometime.”

She finally took a good look at him and Milla couldn’t fight the smile that came to her face. Which then turned into a giggle that she had to cover up by putting a hand over her mouth and turning away.

Sasha frowned, his cheeks turning red. “What? Is the mustache too much?”

Milla shook her head and walked closer, reaching up to adjust his large, bulbous hat. “No, darling, it’s perfect. You look very handsome.”

He grumbled and turned his face away from hers. “...thank you, but looking handsome isn’t exactly the goal.”

She laughed at that and moved her hands down to his coat, tugging gently on the lapels. “No, of course not. You look very menacing, too. We’ll blend right in, I’m sure.”

At that, Sasha turned back to her, and Milla suddenly became very aware of how close their faces were. Sometimes it scared her how much she enjoyed being close to him, especially considering how well they knew each other. They’d been inside each other’s minds on countless occasions - it was intimate in its own way, but so, so different from really feeling each other.

She smiled at him again and backed away, walking to their hotel room mirror. “I think we should add some jewelry to your outfit Mr. Barroso,” she said cheekily, referencing the fake name he was using to get into the party.

He let out a deep breath behind her and slowly followed. “Whatever you say…Mrs. Barroso.”

x

When she’d first started at the Psychonauts, fellow agents told her he was stiff and unfun and overly serious all the time. Milla would give them stiff - especially when she hugged him or kissed him on the cheek - but certainly not unfun and he was perfectly capable of loosening up and joking around with her. It took them a bit to get there, sure, but when she saw him crack a smile or heard his laugh, it made her feel like her day was a success.

The most important thing about him, though, was how safe she felt with him.

Milla didn’t have any fear going into unknown territory. Sasha was always by her side and they’d keep each other safe - whether facing a villain of unknown strength, sneaking into a club with dozens of known criminals waiting for an opportunity to shoot, or even just chatting with a man whose eyes wandered more than necessary.

And even if he wasn’t right there with her, she felt safer knowing he was a part of her life.

x

March 3rd, 1982 9,500 Miles Over Lake Tanganyika

“Sasha!”

His head hurt.

There was a piercing noise in his ears and a bright light in the center of a pitch black tunnel that was his vision, but mostly all he could focus on was the pounding in his head.

“Darling, please open your eyes!”

He tried to move his arms and twitched a few fingers, too exhausted to do much else. Trying to move on from the distracting headache only made him realize that his entire body hurt, too. Why did it hurt so badly?

“Come on, Nein!”

A different voice spoke that time, and then he realized: there were voices speaking to him. Both in his head and in his ears, two voices repeatedly shouting his name. It was kind of agitating, if he was being honest. Why were they shouting? He could hear them just fine.

Sasha scrunched his eyebrows together and heard a gasp as he did. It sounded almost like a happy gasp, if he had to guess.

Then there was suddenly a heavy weight on his chest, and he was all but forced to open his eyes and finally take in whatever was happening around him.

“M-Milla?!” he coughed out, trying to catch his breath.

She pulled back, letting one hand rest on his shoulder while the other cradled his cheek. “I’m so glad you’re alright, Sasha! I’ve never seen you get hit like that before!”

“I knew he’d be fine.”

“You can barely walk, Morry, go sit down!”

“Bah! Fine! But you’re not the boss of me!”

Sasha blinked repeatedly, slightly blinded by the sudden brightness of the room and definitely confused by the conversation he was hearing. “What’s…going on?” he said slowly.

She took a deep breath before answering. “You were shot, darling. A few times.”

He frowned and took a deep breath. That would explain the pain he was in. The memories of their current mission started flooding back to him as he tried to figure out what parts of him were aching and throbbing the most. “Where?”

“Ah, um…your right shoulder was hit, and your right calf was grazed a few times.” She paused for a second, stroking her thumb against his cheek. “Your shield protected you from getting hit in the head, but one bullet grazed your temple.”

Sasha sighed. “Can you move me into a seated position?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound as miserable as he felt.

“Of course,” Milla answered softly, doing as he asked.

Sasha opened his eyes properly and took in the view - Milla was sitting on her knees in front of him, not a scratch on her, while Morceau was laying on a bench behind them covered in bruises and blood. The man was cradling one leg, giving Sasha the impression that he’d been shot as well. At least he had plenty of experience with that.

“What happened with Peters?”

“His helicopter is still out there!” Oleander shouted from his seat. “But Milla here wanted to make sure you weren’t dead before she took him out!”

“Morceau!” she said sternly, glaring at the man. “You make it sound like I did something wrong!”

Sasha shook his head. His partner struggled to leave behind injured teammates, and as much as he appreciated her help, there were times when her concerns got in the way of finishing the job. “He’s right, Milla. You need to stop him. There’s no time for this.”

She sat there silently for a moment, staring at him. The way her eyes bore into his own made Sasha realize that his sunglasses were gone - no wonder the lights were hurting his head so much worse than usual.

“But I-”

“Camilla.” Sasha closed his eyes, trying to focus. He was in a lot of pain. “We’re fine. Go.”

“...alright,” Milla said softly.

He could hear her stand up and felt a surge of pride that she was listening to him, but before she took her leave from the jet, Sasha felt a pair of warm lips brush against his forehead. His entire body would’ve gone stiff if he had the energy for it - instead, he opened his eyes just in time to see Milla giving a similar smooch to Morceau.

“I’ll be back.”

Sasha watched her go and let out a deep sigh. He and Oleander needed to tend to their injuries as much as possible. But he also wanted to take a minute and think about how he could still smell Milla’s perfume against his skin. It was slightly intoxicating.

“Ha! What did I say, Nein? You’re not special!” Oleander shouted, a pained smirk on his face. “She’ll kiss anyone who needs it!” Sasha’s face turned bright red as he realized Morceau was referencing and completely misinterpreting an earlier conversation they’d had. “That’s not what I…ugh…just shut up, Morry.”

x

It was hard to think that they'd ever been strangers.

Over three years into their partnership and Milla couldn't imagine her life without Sasha Nein as part of it. She still did her own thing on free weekends - she'd go out with friends and party or have a few drinks and it would be a lovely time. But it wasn't the same as when she and Sasha would go to the bowling alley together and just…talk.

There was one evening they spent together where Milla found herself unable to tear her eyes from his face. He'd been talking about aliens - a subject he was quite passionate about that Milla did not find particularly interesting - but she couldn't bring herself to interrupt him or add anything.

She just wanted to listen to his voice.

When they parted ways that night, she realized that she was in love with him. It was a bit embarrassing - not the love she felt, but the knowledge that she'd probably been in love with him for a long time and not noticed.

As a Psychonaut who was meant to pay close attention to what was going on in her head, Milla felt clueless. She hadn't had such strong feelings for another person since she was a teenager, and she definitely didn't know what to do about it.

She really doubted that Sasha felt the same way about her. He appreciated her and maybe even loved her, but in love seemed like a stretch.

Milla sighed and floated towards Sasha’s office. She knew he was working behind that door even though he told her he was going home. She knew him better than that.

She glanced at the door next to his - which was currently an empty office after Second Head Forsythe moved to her new space and then Agent Yeomans moved to the Psychonauts base in the United Kingdom. Maybe, if she played her cards right and kept being an unstoppable team with Sasha, Milla would be the next agent to earn it.

“Darling,” she thought, reaching out to Sasha’s mind nearby. “Try not to stay up all night.”

There was a slight hesitation before he responded. “Of course. Goodnight, Milla.”

Those two sentences were a regularity for them - Sasha loved working through the night, forgetting to eat or sleep because he was so focused on a project. His dedication to his work was admirable, but he needed to take better care of himself.

She sighed and floated away from his office. The few drinks she'd had in the bowling alley were making her mind repeatedly fall back to the subject of love and she knew she'd need to sleep it off, then hurry up and organize her thoughts in the morning. If she made Sasha uncomfortable around her, she'd never forgive herself.

x

August 20th, 1983 Melbourne, Australia

It was a long chase. 

A long, long boat chase through Port Phillip and Milla was so glad it was over. It felt like they’d been on their feet for hours and if Charno’s boat hadn’t run out of gas, they probably wouldn’t have caught up when they did. Thankfully, their own boat was powered by Sasha’s psychic powers and with the help of a few PSI pops, that was practically unlimited.

Neither of the two villains were psychic - simply interested in psychics and attempted to capture some psychics for experimentation - so Milla and Sasha were stuck dealing with local law enforcement to collect them. They’d likely have to come back for some psychic interrogation, but due process was important.

Milla didn’t particularly enjoy dealing with police. Her experiences with them as a teenager had been bad enough, but dealing with them as an adult hadn’t been much better. Especially not when she was standing around in her bikini.

She frowned, listening while Sasha explained the situation to Officer McKenna. The man was taking notes while his partner handcuffed Charno and De Lacey and shoved them into the back of their car.

They were dressed for the beach, not for a jail cell. Milla felt bad for them, despite the fact that they’d tried to kidnap her earlier in the day. Maybe Sasha was right, she was too forgiving sometimes. But it was simply how she was.

“Your girlfriend doesn’t have anything to add?”

Milla glanced up to see that the police officer was addressing Sasha still, pointing to her. He’d probably introduced them as concerned citizens who came across a bad situation, rather than the Secret Agents they really were. Many countries refused to recognize the authority of the Psychonauts despite all the good work they did, so it was easier to just pretend they were citizens half the time.

“No.”

The two officers looked at each other, almost like they were having a psychic conversation of their own.

Sasha piped up again. “She doesn't speak much English.”

“Alright, whatever,” the officer responded. 

They could both read his simple mind very easily and knew he didn't believe Sasha, but also that he didn't care. And that he was mostly interested in talking to Milla because of her looks.

As they walked away with the villains in tow, Sasha walked back over to Milla and quickly took off his jacket, placing it gently on her shoulders.

Milla already had her arms wrapped around her chest and smiled as his hand lightly brushed hers. She tugged on the jacket and closed her eyes, comforted by how much it smelled like Sasha. Who knew the scent of cigarettes could ever be so enjoyable?

“Thank you,” she said softly. The bikini was starting to feel a little uncomfortable while they stood around for so long.

He shrugged in response. “You looked cold.”

Though Sasha was a master of keeping certain thoughts to himself, Milla could pick up little hints from his mind that implied he didn't like the way those officers and other random passersby were looking at her. It was very sweet.

She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, pulling back in time to see him visibly stiffen and his face turning bright red. Milla smiled and turned away to give him enough privacy to calm his nerves down. “And now I'm not cold!”

He took a moment, taking enough deep breaths to get the normal greenish color back to his cheeks.

Milla decided to tease him a little more, only because she enjoyed it so much. “I think I may keep this, actually. I've never felt so comfortable!”

Sasha turned to her and pouted slightly, the pink on his cheeks coming back. “I…that's my favorite jacket,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I guess you'll have to get a new favorite,” Milla responded with a bright smile on her face. She looked back at their boat and it finally hit her that they were miles and miles away from where they'd parked the jet. “We should start heading back before it gets dark.”

He frowned, confused by the sudden change of subject. “Yes, I suppose we should.” After a pause, he added, “I'll want that jacket back eventually, Milla.”

x

Getting to know Sasha Nein was a slow process. He was a very private man, and even when she was in his mind there were things he kept away from her.

She knew about his situation with his father. It was awful, but, in her opinion, their relationship was definitely fixable. But she didn’t want to stress him out by asking too many questions, despite the fact that she really wanted to help. Milla’s father passed when she was a teenager and she would’ve loved the opportunity to see him again if she could. But Sasha’s situation was different. 

By the fourth year of their partnership, she’d come to know more details about Sasha’s mother, too. And the details of why Sasha ran away from home.

He was so young. Only a few years older than some of the orphans that’d been in her care. It was heartbreaking to know that he was so confused and scared and uncomfortable that he didn’t want to be around his father anymore. And by the time he fully understood what had happened, too many years had passed to go back without explanation.

She was so moved when he told her that he and his father had some brief contact through letters over the past several years. It was small, but she was proud of him. His experience was strange and unique and traumatizing and she was glad he was working through it one step at a time.

Anytime she expressed those feelings, he’d dismiss it and compare it to the terrible things she’d been through. He even told her, once, after a few drinks, that her strength to move forward inspired him to keep trying with his father.

She could’ve kissed him for that, but it was probably for the best that she didn’t.

Still - it was nice. Nice to know that what she’d gone through and how she’d grown was having a positive impact on one of the most important people in her life.

x

December 25th, 1983 The Motherlobe, California, USA

He didn't particularly enjoy the time of year.

Sasha was an atheist, first of all. So celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ held no interest for him. He had very little family, and what he did have was thousands of miles away. And he didn't have many friends to celebrate with, either.

So instead of a time for joy and jubilance, to him it was a time of crowds and loud music.

Which was all the more reason for him to stay in his office and work extra hard - especially when he and Milla were in the middle of tracking down the Noodler.

He was a despicable man who used his psychic abilities to jumble people’s minds. He'd turn their thoughts and ability to form words into an absolute mess, making a person refer to shoes as fish or doors as cats. His latest victim had lost control of his limbs - when he tried to command his leg, it would move his arm instead.

It was a dangerous and advanced bit of mental power. Sasha would've been impressed if he wasn't so disturbed by it. 

The Noodler last struck on December 16th at the Santa Cruz County National Bank. After three days of repairing damaged minds and getting information, Sasha and Milla were back at headquarters to analyze the data and see if they could figure out the next spot he'd hit.

But as they sat in their respective offices, Sasha looking for patterns in spots the Noodler attacked and Milla mentally reaching out to see if anyone could help her find him, he wondered if this was cruel.

Just because he had no interest in Christmas didn't mean Milla felt the same way. She probably had standing invitations to at least a dozen Christmas parties, and he was practically forcing her to stay at work with him instead.

With a deep breath, he reached out towards her mind with his own. “Milla?”

It was only a few moments before she responded. “Hello, Sasha!”

Her cheerfulness always made him smile. “I just wanted to say, um…I appreciate you working late with me, but if you have anywhere else you'd like to be right now, I won't be offended if you leave.”

This time there was a much longer pause, one that made Sasha briefly worry that he'd said something wrong.

“Ah, right. It's Christmas Eve, isn't it?”

He sighed. It wasn't surprising that Milla was focused so intensely on their search for the Noodler - one of his victims was only twelve years old and she was always extra sensitive to the endangerment of children. “Almost seven o’clock on Christmas Eve.”

He could feel her mind sorting through something for a few moments until she responded again. “I was thinking of going to Sherri’s little Christmas party, but it doesn't sound like it'll be a good time.”

“Why's that?”

There was a bright happiness radiating off of her words. “Because you won't be there, of course!”

Sasha's cheeks turned pink and he severed the connection between their minds for a few moments so he could collect himself. He was never quite sure if Milla was serious or just teasing him when she said things like that, but either way he knew he'd have to quickly take the memory of those words and file them into one of his many folders dedicated to Milla Vodello.

He reconnected their thoughts and continued the conversation. “I, um. I appreciate the sentiment. But you really don't have to stay if you don't want to.”

She hummed a Christmas tune in their shared thought space and chuckled. “You know, Sasha, at a certain point it'll feel like you want me to leave!”

“I certainly do not,” he answered quickly, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. Sasha enjoyed spending time with her and he liked how dedicated she was to their work, but he didn't want her to feel obligated just because he was a workaholic (as she so lovingly put it). “Just want to make sure you know that I don't expect you to stay all night.”

“You don't have to stay all night, either, you know.”

“I can assure you, I've nowhere else to be and no one else to talk to.”

There was a brief pause before Milla sent out another thought. “What about your father? You told me you'd been wanting to get in touch with him again.”

Sasha felt nervous at that, shame and guilt creeping over him. And thanks to their shared mental connection, Milla could no doubt feel his shame and guilt, which then made him feel even more ashamed and guilty. It was an unfortunate cycle. But she was correct, Sasha had every intention of reaching out to his father again. After the Wrong Address Debacle of a few years earlier, he'd sent out one letter apologizing for the delay and then…that was it. He hadn't heard back.

But he was able to confirm through a contact in Germany that his father was alive and well.

So Sasha was stuck: send another letter? Call him? Or assume that the lack of reply was its own response and their relationship was done forever?

“I'm sorry, darling, I didn't mean to bring up bad feelings.”

Sasha sighed. The holidays were a time for family - it was inevitable that his father would come up in one conversation or another. “It's fine. I've just been…putting that off.”

A small part of Sasha wondered if it would be worthwhile to take a trip and see his father in-person for the first time in two decades, but then he felt abnormally small at the thought of making such a big step. Perhaps with his partner by his side, it wouldn't be so bad, but he'd never place that burden on her shoulders.

“Well if you ever want to go see him, you know I'd be happy to come with and support you!” Milla chirped, sending a wave of positive energy his way.

He smiled as the warmth fell over his shoulders. It was uncanny how well she could read him in only a few years time. It was no wonder he enjoyed her company so deeply. “I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Milla.”

x

Milla had very strong feelings for him.

She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but she also wanted him to know. Just in case there was a small chance that he had similar feelings for her. He was shy and a bit awkward sometimes, so if she made her feelings clear then perhaps he’d feel more confident about his own.

Assuming there were feelings to be confident about.

It was difficult to tell. He spent more time with her than anyone else, but they were partners. He complimented her often and smiled at her and laughed with her, but they were friends. None of that was particularly damning. Not to mention his lack of interest in physical touch or romantic movies and books…Milla wasn’t sure if he had any interest in romance at all.

She was toeing a complicated line. She couldn’t be too obvious about her feelings because he’d get uncomfortable and it’d be a whole situation and then she could potentially lose the most important person in her life. But if she didn’t do anything at all, then…well, it wasn’t like Sasha Nein would ever make a first move. Especially if he wasn’t sure how she felt.

They didn’t have to get together, of course. She was perfectly happy just being partners and friends. But if it was possible, then she wanted to try it. She wanted to be with him more fully. She wanted to kiss him and see the adorable look on his face while he tried to hide the burning in his cheeks.

Part of her was a little scared about the possibility. They worked dangerous jobs and lived dangerous lives. Any day could be their last.

But her feelings for him were already so strong. Losing him as a friend or losing him as a lover would be equally difficult. Her life would feel empty either way. But knowing that didn’t make it any easier to talk to him about it.

So she hesitated. She flip-flopped on what to do. She wanted to tell him, she didn’t want to tell him. She wanted to be with him, she didn’t want to risk it. She wanted to kiss him, she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. She wanted to hold him, but even more than that, she wanted him to hold her and that was a completely different situation which she had no idea how to create.

Until she could make a real decision on the matter, Milla stuck to her usual. Hugs, cheek kisses, light flirting. Little things that helped Sasha peek out of his shell and would hopefully help him understand just how much she appreciated him.

x

March 12th, 1984 Venado Tuerto, Argentina

The suit was a bit much.

Sasha was used to his partner wearing bright and colorful clothing, but it was usually very loose and flowing and comfortable-looking. Dresses that fell gently over her shoulders or skirts that danced around when she spun in the air.

What he wasn't used to were some of the clothes Milla chose to wear on missions. She certainly dressed for the occasion, no matter what that occasion was. Fancy ball gowns, sure. A little black bikini, alright.

But the skin tight leather catsuit was where he started to draw the line.

Though Sasha obviously had no say over his partner’s wardrobe, he felt very nervous while she had it on. He could clearly make out every curve of her body and the fact that a small part of him enjoyed the view was making him extremely uncomfortable. He didn't want to be the type of man to sexualize a woman on the job, but…well.

It was very tight.

He watched carefully as Milla lowered herself closer and closer to the caiman pit. She opened up the jar and telekinetically retrieved the president’s brain, quickly floating it up to her partner.

Sasha grabbed the brain and took a deep breath, happy that he finally had a distraction from the view. He knew he was being very disrespectful towards his partner for feeling such a way, but…well. He was only human. And she was very attractive. And he had come to terms with that fact a long time ago.

He re-cranialized the president as Milla made her way back up to the roof, scaling expertly. After so many years of working together, he didn’t even spare her a glance, knowing she’d land on her feet without so much as a misstep.

The shorter man staggered a bit, rubbing his forehead aggressively like he was fighting off a major headache. Being de-brained was an unpleasant experience, Sasha had been told, though he’d never dealt with it himself.

“How are you feeling, Presidente Alfonsín?” Milla asked, hand on the man’s shoulder. “¿Cómo está?”

The man shook his head and took a deep breath, pausing for a long moment. “Malo. Muy malo.”

Sasha heaved a deep sigh. If he was answering questions, then the re-cranialization process was successful. “Mr. President, can you tell us your birth date? Or the name of your wife?” He paused, then looked over at Milla. “Maybe you should lead this.”

She smiled at him. “My Spanish is not perfect, but I’ll try my best-”

President Alfonsín suddenly groaned and fell onto his back, spread-eagle and staring up at the sky. “Doce de marzo.” He paused and closed his eyes again. “María.”

Sasha walked over and took a seat next to the tired man, knees up and arms laying on top of them. “Good. Sounds like you’re back to normal.”

“Not yet,” the president said quietly. “Still in pain.”

Sasha stared down at him, about to continue the conversation or offer some sort of pain medication, when he heard a loud zip! behind him. Naturally, he turned around to see what was going on, and was greeted with the not-so-unexpected sight of Milla unzipping the back of her catsuit.

He turned away immediately, his cheeks a deep pink color.

“Sorry darling,” Milla said quietly, though there was a distinct chuckle in her voice. “It’s just so uncomfortably tight.”

“Mhm.” Sasha looked straight ahead, wondering what he’d done in a past life to deserve such punishment. “I noticed that. Looks very, um. Uncomfortable. As you said.”

She sat down and shivered as the wind hit her newly-freed back. “It was helpful getting through the lasers, though.”

He could feel his neck and hands getting sweaty. “Of course. That makes sense.”

x

She really did love him.

x

October 1st, 1984 Kowloon, Hong Kong

Levitating was very different from flying, which was very different from falling, which was very different from hurtling through the air surrounded by debris and heading straight for the ground.

Milla levitated almost as much as she walked. It was second nature to her - she didn't even have to think about it.

She was very comfortable while flying. The Psychonauts came into some money and had recently upgraded their jet - making it faster and safer than ever before.

Falling wasn't fun, but it was easy. Recoverable, usually.

But in the aftermath of an explosion - one they were very lucky to have gotten away from - Milla found that it wasn't as easy to recover when falling at such speeds. Sasha was right next to her, thankfully not injured any more than herself, but they both knew that was about to change.

She barely had enough mental energy left for a shield. It was safe to assume that Sasha was in the same boat. So they'd have to save what little energy they had for the exact moment they hit the ground. Prevent as much damage as possible.

They didn’t even need to communicate psychically to decide that taking hold of each other and combining their shields would be the best way to land. Milla grabbed Sasha and Sasha grabbed Milla and they squeezed each other as tightly as possible as the ground got closer and closer.

Shields went up, ground was hit. They landed intensely, rolled around for a moment, then finally stopped. Debris was still falling all around them. But Milla wasn’t too concerned.

Her focus was entirely on the man under her - whose arms had been wrapped around her waist just a moment earlier. Her hands were on his chest and her legs had managed to land on either side of his.

She was completely straddling him.

Which would’ve been the most notable and embarrassing part of the entire situation if not for the fact that their faces were mere inches from each other’s. It was much more distracting at that particular moment.

Especially when she noticed the blush coating his cheeks, complimenting the shy smile on his face. He looked good under her like that. He looked handsome. He looked se-

Milla knew she had a blush on her face as well, and smiled back at him. This was different. They’d been in plenty of intimate situations, been stuck in a small closet together, been thrown into one another and landed in a heap of limbs. But this was different.

Different in that she really, really wanted to kiss him.

It was a good thing she knew how to close her mind off to Sasha, or else he’d probably be scrambling away from her as quickly as possible. The thought made her laugh internally, and her smile grew wider.

Which made him smile a little more, too.

That was encouraging. She didn’t need encouragement. What she needed was-

“Nein! Vodello! Where the hell are you?!”

…that. She needed that.

The two of them were immediately shaken out of their stupor - Milla quickly sat up straight and looked to the left to find Morceau coughing and waving smoke out of his face.

Sasha sat up as well, but she was still straddling his waist so he could only get so far.

Oleander squinted his eyes at them and nodded, still coughing. “Are you two alright? That blast was intense!”

“We’re fine,” Sasha answered quickly. But then he turned to look at Milla again. “You are fine, aren’t you?”

Milla smiled at him. “A few cuts and scrapes. Nothing serious.”

Sasha smiled back. And then they were stuck in the same boat from earlier, except for one notable difference.

“Then let’s get the hell out of here before the local fuzz show up! I can’t get arrested again, not after last time!”

“We’ll be right there, Morry,” Milla answered, waving some smoke out of her face. There wasn’t much debris falling anymore, though the building they’d leapt from was in bad shape. It probably wouldn’t stay up for too much longer.

“Ahem, um. Milla, if you could, uh…”

She looked over at Sasha and tilted her head, then remembered she was quite literally preventing him from getting up, and quickly stood up and shook her head in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry, darling, let’s get out of here.” She reached out a hand to help him up.

Sasha took it and they were both perfectly aware that their hands lingered longer than necessary.

“Let’s go already!” Oleander shouted, leading the way.

x

Sasha Nein did not like to exaggerate. He did not like to over- or underplay the seriousness of something. He did not like to make mountains out of molehills, or molehills out of mountains, or anything like that.

But when it came to Milla Vodello, sometimes he just…wasn’t sure how to quantify his feelings.

They were strong, stronger than he’d had for anyone else in his entire life. And he knew through reflection, advice, and analysis that he was one of the most important people in her life, if not the most important. She was affectionate and kind and reached out to him often. They chatted telepathically more than frequently - after half a decade of working closely together, they’d simply fallen into a habit.

When she woke up in the morning, she’d immediately reach out to let him know. Even when they were miles apart, their minds were connected like they were standing right next to each other.

It was a level of intimacy he’d had to get used to, but once he had…there was no going back.

He’d started mentally reaching out to her more often. Some days it felt like they were always talking in one way or another - her comforting presence would linger in his mind while he was working, and she seemed to enjoy when he’d curiously peek into her mind while she was working. Their partnership had blossomed better than he ever could’ve expected. They worked so well together it was like they operated as a single unit.

Sasha had also begun to understand over the years that he was probably in love with her. At least a little bit. Which was absolutely terrifying - love, being in love with someone, reminded him of his father’s misery after his mother died and Sasha never wanted to be stuck in the same situation. 

But it was too late. The love was there and it wasn’t going away, whether he held her hand or kept his distance.

Sometimes she would spend so much time in his mind that he would swear he could smell her perfume.

He loved her quite a lot.

He probably wouldn’t ever tell her. Better to pine forever than potentially hurt their partnership.

Being around her was enough for him.

[neopuff]

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

chapter six: peace of mind ships: sasha/milla characters: milla, sasha, truman, hollis word count: 5545 ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53435410/chapters/137324449

[chap 1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

-

Sasha liked the work that he did.

He enjoyed the missions, the secrecy, helping people. He enjoyed studying the human mind and learning the intricacies of how it worked and how psychics were able to make it stronger and better. He even enjoyed the endless, endless paperwork - an aspect that he knew most agents hated. But it was a nice way to relax during the day, filling out form after form with basic but important information. No stress for his mind, nothing to distract.

The day after his successful mission with Agents Vodello and 33, however, Sasha's mind drifted a bit from the forms he'd been filling out and the report he was writing.

After Milla left his office the previous afternoon, Sasha had taken some time to go into his mind and do a bit of reorganizing. Everything she'd gone through and the worry he'd felt for her left him quite emotionally charged. The excess energy needed to go somewhere, and organizing his mindscape was always a good use of his time.

Blasting away some censors eased his anxieties, and he destroyed any lingering doubts without a second thought.

There was, however, an unrecognizable memory vault stomping around. Sasha’s mind tended to automatically sort his memories without him needing to interfere, so it was rare for a new vault to appear. Only memories that he couldn't completely come to terms with continued skulking around.

He rushed over to the new vault and opened it up with a slap - though he briefly considered being kinder to it like Milla had, it just didn't come naturally to him.

Sasha was surprised to find the vault contained a memory from earlier in the day when he and Milla talked. The end of their conversation, when he briefly held her hand and then she laid her head onto his shoulder. 

And then they sat there together. 

For an obscenely long time.

He felt deeply embarrassed. Simple physical contact within a budding friendship did not need to be so complicated. But it was true that he hadn't felt so close to another person in a long time.

Sasha sighed, staring at the vault. It seemed clear to him that Milla Vodello was going to be a significant part of his life for as long as she was in the Psychonauts. For better or for worse, it would only make sense for him to dedicate a section of his mind to memories involving her.

A filing cabinet raised up from inside his mental cube and Sasha opened the second drawer.

His embarrassment didn't fade even as he wrote “Milla” on a folder and mentally converted his memory into a sheet of paper. It didn't fade as he popped that folder into the filing cabinet drawer that was labeled “Interpersonal Relationships,” and it didn't fade even when he closed the drawer and sent the cabinet back from where it came.

The simple fact was: he was embarrassed. He couldn't pretend otherwise. She was beautiful and friendly and charming and strong and had been through so much in the last few years. Every time he thought about her psychic awakening he felt an urge to buy her another coffee and hold her hand.

He hadn't told her the exact circumstances of his own psychic experience. It wasn't something he found easy to explain. Not that her situation was particularly cut and dry, either.

As their friendship grew, he assumed that he would tell her. One day. Maybe.

Sasha thought back to the folder next to Milla’s - the one labeled “Papa.” He still had a lot of work to put into that folder before he burdened anyone with the details.

He stood on one side of his mind cube, hands in his pockets, thinking about the difficulties of mending a relationship that was so drastically torn, when there was an unfamiliar presence prodding at the edge of his mind.

Sasha opened his eyes and stared down at the partially-written report in front of him, then turned to the side where he felt himself being gently, psychically poked.

“Good morning, Sasha!”

It wasn’t particularly surprising to hear the melodious sound of Milla Vodello greeting him that morning, not after the time they'd spent together the day before. He wondered if this was going to become a daily thing, and then concluded that he wouldn't mind if it was.

“Good morning, Milla,” he replied.

“I wanted to thank you again for yesterday. You've been so welcoming and kind to me since I started here and I doubt I could ever thank you enough.”

Sasha’s cheeks turned a little red and he grabbed a cigarette out of the pack on his desk. Her flattery was so unfamiliar for him - even though he was an excellent Psychonaut and a skilled scientist, Sasha was not used to anyone talking to him like that.

“You really don't need to thank me. You've already become an irreplaceable addition to the Motherlobe.”

He took a deep breath and hoped that wasn't too much. Back and forth compliments were a struggle for him, but he wanted to be sure she felt as appreciated as she’d made him feel.

Instead of a verbal response back, Sasha could feel a warm, bright energy flow over his mind like an ocean wave. Milla was sending him small fragments of her aura - and he couldn't stop himself from smiling at the feeling of it.

Deciding he needed to focus, Sasha buckled down and worked on his report. He could only speak to exactly what he witnessed, but he saw no reason why Agent Vodello’s additional report wouldn't match his timeline perfectly. He was curious how she organized her mission notes and how she wrote her reports - she wasn't as particular as Sasha and probably wouldn't write reports in the same way.

He tapped his pen against the desk and decided to see if he could catch a glance.

“Milla. Do you need any assistance with your report on yesterday’s mission?”

There were a few moments of silence that made Sasha worry that his question could've been misconstrued as calling her incompetent, but then she finally responded.

“Oh, thank you, but I already turned mine in! Early this morning.”

“Excellent. Just wanted to make sure.”

She sent back another wave of appreciation and Sasha sighed almost dreamily. Her presence on the edges of his mind was quite comforting.

He quickly moved past any disappointment about not being able to see her report and went back to work on his own. It needed all the relevant details, especially anything he noticed about Rehm himself, and it needed to be specific about the uncomfortable fascination he took note of from Rehm to Milla.

It was about twenty more minutes until he finished - first draft, second draft, and finally the finished version - and then Sasha made his way to the Nerve Center to turn it in.

He would've handed it off to Agent Forsythe or anyone who was working there, but everyone knew that Grand Head Zanotto had already returned from his absence and Sasha was curious about the circumstances. Surely his wife’s condition hadn't improved in only a day.

(Part of Sasha wished that Grand Head Zanotto would take his wife's sickness more seriously. His worst fear was that their child might grow up motherless like he had.)

The leader of their operation was working diligently at his desk when Sasha arrived, and looked thrilled when he noticed the younger agent holding out a small stack of papers.

“Sasha! I've been wanting to talk to you,” Grand Head Zanotto said with a smile, taking the papers from him. “You wouldn't believe the things I've been hearing about you lately.”

He raised a curious eyebrow. “Nothing bad, I hope.”

“Not at all! You've been referred to as kind, helpful, communicative, and comforting! All words I've never heard attributed to our Agent Nein before.” Grand Head Zanotto let out a deep, dreamy sigh. “And I'm sure you know exactly where I heard these from.”

Sasha felt a burning in his cheeks and hoped it wasn't noticeable. “Ah, yes, um. Agent Vodello certainly describes me in a way no one has before.”

The older man stood up and walked around the desk, surprising Sasha by not checking his watch or the clock even once. “It's really great to hear. Hollis and I read through her report this morning, and we couldn't be happier about it!”

It felt a little bit like he was being congratulated on a new relationship, which made Sasha feel embarrassed again. Too many compliments, too many mentions of his dynamic with Agent Vodello. It was stressful.

“Thank you, sir. I enjoyed working with her, as well.”

“Don't thank me just yet,” Zanotto added, holding up a folder. “I've got something here for you to look at.”

He handed it to Sasha, who took it and quickly opened it up to see what was inside. It was one very simple form that already had three of the four necessary signatures to file it away.

The Psychonauts Mission Partner Assignment Form.

Sasha had seen and filled out that exact form so many times in the past. He'd begun to associate its minimalist structure with disappointment and failure, which were two things he didn't particularly enjoy thinking about. But his thoughts were based on truth - every single attempt at partnership for him had ended badly.

Any Psychonaut could choose to work with a partner or a team at any time, but having an official partnership meant they'd be assigned tougher and more covert missions. They'd be trusted with information that no one else would be. But that was only if they made it work.

Sasha’s first attempt at a partner was Agent Van Dyke, who still worked with the Psychonauts, but specifically chose to work at a facility far from the Motherlobe. Sasha hoped it wasn't only because of how badly they'd blown up at one another during their one month tenure as partners, but he knew it was a significant part of why the man transferred.

There was also a brief period of time where Sasha had been partnered with Oleander - their relationship stayed the same, but they never managed to complete a single mission with just the two of them. Working with a larger team they were fine, but as a duo they'd been a mess.

The list of attempted partnerships went on and on, until Sasha's sixth year working there when Grand Head Zanotto finally gave up and allowed him to work in his own way.

The work was good and immaculately accurate, so there was no reason for anyone to object.

“I…are you sure about this?” Sasha asked, looking up from the paperwork. “She may enjoy working with me now, but that could easily change. It might be better to do some sort of trial run before we make this official.”

“She's pretty confident about it,” Grand Head Zanotto responded, referencing the line on the form that had Milla Vodello’s signature above it. “You could use some of that. Maybe she'll rub off on you!”

Sasha shook his head. “I'm serious. We've only really worked together once. And Agent 33 was there as well.”

Zanotto shook his head. “Look, Sasha. If you don't want to, then don't sign it. She won't be offended, I'm sure. But I read Agent Vodello’s report and I feel very, very sure about this. I can tell from the way she talks about you that this could really work.”

Sasha took a deep breath. He really wanted to read that report. “I…you were very sure about Morry, too. And we all know how that turned out.”

“Yes, that's true. But I like to think you’ve grown since then. And hey - maybe I have, too.”

That was a good point, Sasha had to admit. And he did like working with Milla. He just really hoped that signing the form and making it official didn't jinx their entire working relationship. Being friends with a close coworker was something he always thought sounded nice, but he'd never had the opportunity. 

He looked down at the paper in front of him. Milla, Agent Forsythe, and Grand Head Zanotto had all signed it already. They all thought it could work. The two that knew his previous failures and had spent more time with Milla than anyone else thought it could work. Milla herself thought it could work.

Sasha telekinetically grabbed a pen from the desk and quickly signed his name above the last line.

“I'm willing to try,” he said, handing the folder back to Grand Head Zanotto.

The older man smiled and placed the folder down on his desk. “Don’t be pessimistic about this, alright? Give it a real shot.”

“I'll do my best not to disappoint,” Sasha responded, standing up. He directed his comment to the man in front of him, but he really didn't want to disappoint anyone involved. Not Milla, not Agent Forsythe…and not himself.

It wasn't going to be easy.

Grand Head Zanotto shooed the agent out of his office, claiming he had another upcoming meeting and lots of papers to file. Sasha’s mind wandered briefly back to Anna Zanotto as he exited the room and he realized he forgot to ask how she was doing.

The thought passed as he entered the Nerve Center and found Agents Forsythe and Vodello chatting just a few feet away, distracting him from any other thought.

There she was. The woman that wanted to work side-by-side with him for the foreseeable future.

Milla caught sight of him and her face immediately brightened - she waved him over and Sasha took a deep breath before obeying. He wanted a cigarette, but really needed to stop smoking so much every time he was around her. She'd start to get the wrong idea.

Agent Forsythe noticed him come over and smiled, giving him a light slap on his back. “Congratulations, Nein. Don't screw this one up, alright?” She laughed and gave Milla a wave as she headed towards Grand Head Zanotto’s office.

Sasha didn't find the comment very funny and just ignored her, looking straight at the woman in front of him.

“Did Truman talk to you?” she asked eagerly.

He nodded. “I think it's an idea worth exploring.”

Milla looked sheepish for a moment, tugging at her hair. “Sorry to spring it on you like this. I was just telling Agent Forsythe how well we worked together and she suggested it and everything happened so quickly…if it's too much, I really won't mind if you don’t want to!”

Sasha shook his head, holding one hand up to stop her from spiraling. “It's not a problem, Milla. It's been a long time since I tried working with a partner, so I think this will be beneficial for both of us.”

She smiled brightly and before he could do anything to prevent it, Milla had her arms wrapped around his shoulders and she hugged him tightly.

In the Nerve Center. 

With people around.

His face turned red and he desperately, desperately needed that cigarette. Hesitantly, he placed a hand on her back. Just for a moment - he didn't want to draw any more attention to themselves than she already had.

Milla squeezed him before pulling back, allowing her hands to linger on his shoulders. “I'm glad you think so, Sasha! I'm really excited to work with you more.”

Her hands were soft. He didn't really understand how he could tell through his sweater and jacket, but he could. And for some reason, that fact made him even more nervous. He would probably need to get used to such small, physical affections if they were going to spend a lot of time together.

Which they would be doing. 

As partners.

Sasha gave her a little toothy smile as she finally let go of him. “I hope you won't be disappointed,” he said genuinely, but with a chuckle at the end.

Milla shook her head, the smile never leaving her face. “I should say the same to you!” Barely a second passed before she looked down at her watch, then back up at him apologetically. “I have to go, but we’ll talk later! I’ll reach out.” She winked at him and levitated out of the room, giving him a small wave as she left.

He stood there for a few moments, taking in the experience of being near her and talking to her and being hugged by her - then reached into his jacket to grab that cigarette he was craving. With the way two agents across the room were eyeing him, he needed it even more than before.

Sasha enjoyed the nicotine calming his nerves, took an extra minute to let the feeling linger, then exited the Nerve Center. He thought about going to his office, then decided maybe it was a good time to visit Agent Mentallis. Update the older man on some news. He’d inevitably make his usual jokes and comments, but Sasha wanted to tell him anyway. He couldn’t really explain why - Agent Mentallis was his psychic mentor and someone he occasionally went to for advice. The idea of him learning about the new partnership from anyone besides Sasha himself felt wrong.

On his way to the center of the lobby where he could exit to the outside, Sasha’s path was intercepted by Agent Ford Cruller - who was wandering around just outside the mail room. Sasha noticed no one else interacting with the man, so he took a deep breath and walked over.

“Agent Cruller, do you need help with something?” he asked cautiously, hoping he wouldn’t get trapped into a series of silly tasks.

His response was a blank stare - barely a blink as he tilted his head to the side. Sasha wondered if Agent Cruller even understood who he was talking to until the older man finally spoke. “Sasha Nein! There you are!”

“...yes. Here I am.” Sasha tried to be patient with Agent Cruller, he knew what the man had sacrificed to keep the world safe. But it was difficult sometimes to keep up with him. “Were you looking for me?”

Cruller pulled a small stack of envelopes out of his pocket and levitated them between himself and Sasha. “These letters came for you! Apparently there was a mixup at the post office ‘n they went to the wrong base, so they might be a little old. Sorry about that!”

Sasha gave a short, affirmative hum in response and grabbed the stack, glancing at the envelope on top. The handwriting was heavy, dark, and messy - with “Sasha Nein - Psychonauts” scribbled on the front. In the upper left corner, it simply said, “Stuttgart.”

A moment of complete stillness passed before Sasha glanced at the next envelope. It said the same thing. He took a deep breath and shoved the small stack into one of his jacket’s inner pockets. “Thank you, Agent Cruller.”

Cruller smiled and cartwheeled back into the mail room, leaving Sasha to the dark cloud forming over his head. He’d been in brief communication with his father since joining the Psychonauts, but hadn’t heard from him in well over two years. Sasha had assumed the worst and tried not to think about it too much - turns out, the letters just hadn’t reached him.

There were six in total. The most recent envelope was dated over four months ago.

Sasha took another deep breath and headed to his office, as originally planned. He could talk to Agent Mentallis later.

X

Despite her exterior, Milla was quite nervous about her new partnership with Agent Sasha Nein.

She wasn’t concerned so much about whether or not they’d get along if they spent more time together. So far they’d been fine - he was accommodating, kind to her, comforting when he wanted to be, and overall much more of a gentleman than rumors would’ve had her believe. 

No, her concern was on whether or not she’d be able to keep up with him.

Sasha had been with the Psychonauts for over seven years; she had not even three months under her belt. Even if people called her a quick learner, she couldn’t possibly reach Sasha’s skill level in that amount of time.

The partnership suggestion from Agent Forsythe came with an insistence that working together would skyrocket Milla’s development as a Psychonaut to new levels at an exceptional speed. She didn’t deny the possibility, but there was a part of Milla that worried he would feel like he’d been forced into the role of teacher.

Or worse, babysitter.

So Milla dedicated herself to making sure she’d be up to task. Any opportunity she had to train was spent doing so - not just training her psychic abilities, but reading about old missions, studying the history of the Psychonauts, and understanding the depths of the human mind.

Her experience with Lucius Rehm had been draining, but no more so than Sasha’s first big mission. According to records, he’d been hospitalized for several days after a psychic terrorist’s PSI-Blast ripped through his own and sent him flying out a third story window. It was terrifying to read about, but also made Milla feel better about what she’d been through. Clearly it could’ve been much worse.

After a few days of working and studying diligently, Milla decided to find Sasha for some more one-on-one training. He’d been working on his own - primarily on trying to get information out of Lucius Rehm - and she’d grown more anxious the more time that passed without seeing him again.

According to Morceau, staying in his office for days at a time was completely normal behavior for Sasha. She didn’t think that was very healthy, but perhaps he was just…in the zone, or something.

Still, it wouldn’t hurt for him to socialize a little. Particularly with his new partner.

Milla felt a little embarrassed when she thought about that too much. Not that she felt shy about it, but that she was so excited. Even moreso after all the reading she’d done - Sasha was a truly spectacular Psychonaut. He’d been a part of some very notable Psychonauts successes, some of which Milla had heard of even before she knew psychics existed.

He’d been on the team that found Patricia Browne, whose kidnapping had made international news due to her father’s political standing. He’d been a pivotal part of the Círculo Cibeles case - where a group of CEDADE members had taken dozens of hostages in a bank in the heart of Madrid. And he had apparently solved the Bonded Vault heist completely by himself - Milla had no idea any of those three cases even involved psychics. The Psychonauts were good at keeping things out of the news when they wanted to, she supposed.

Working alongside him was going to be rewarding and she was going to learn so much. She also liked him and liked being his friend, so Milla had a lot of high hopes for the growth of their partnership.

With all those thoughts jumbled in her head, Milla decided to go talk to Sasha. He needed to get out of his lab for a bit and she wanted to train with him more.

He’d given her full access to his lab so she waltzed right in, knocking on the side of his office wall. “Sasha?” she asked.

There was no response.

Milla looked in the office area to find it empty. Then she levitated further into the lab and found something…surprising. Well - it shouldn’t have been surprising. She knew exactly what Sasha was working on.

But she still didn’t expect to see Lucius Rehm lying on the lab table, strapped down and in some sort of trance. He didn’t seem completely conscious, but he definitely wasn’t asleep. There was a giant machine pointed towards his head and it was making a low whirring sound that caught Milla’s attention. She’d seen the machine before, she was pretty sure.

Out of curiosity, she lightly poked Rehm’s shoulder. He reacted to the stimuli with a short groan, but otherwise didn’t move or say anything. It was strange.

“I hope you’re feeling better,” she muttered, staring down at his face. She hadn’t gotten a good look at him before. The bags under his eyes were pronounced and dark, his skin pale and sunken at his cheekbones. It was clear to her that the man on the table hadn’t always been so awful. The culmination of so many tragedies in his life, the sudden and extreme overexposure to psitanium, and most likely a significant mental trigger were probably the cause of his behavior.

Milla considered for a moment that he was a decent-looking guy. Almost handsome. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he had a wife or kids waiting for him back home, wondering where their father had disappeared to for weeks. She hoped he could recover soon and get back to his life. Maybe with a new therapist to help him adjust.

She wanted to be angrier with him for the way he’d spoken to her and for the things he’d done to so many innocent people. But she couldn’t help herself but think about the people he’d lost. The pain it caused.

If Truman hadn’t found her, she could’ve become just like Rehm.

Milla looked at the giant machine next to Lucius’ head and reached out to touch it. It was warm and shining a light directly at the mans’ head. Probably causing his trance; maybe it was helping Sasha get inside more carefully. He and Agent Mentallis had a lot of interesting gadgets and devices to help make their work less dangerous.

“You shouldn’t touch that.”

She pulled her hand away like she’d been burned and turned around to find Sasha staring at her, an unfamiliar white lab coat on.

“I- um, sorry,” she responded, feeling like she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “I was just curious.”

Sasha walked over and laid a clipboard down on the lab table, staring down at Rehm. “It’s called a Brain Tumbler. I purchased it from Agent Mentallis several years ago. Makes mental travel easier and safer.”

“Oh. That sounds very helpful.”

“Rehm’s ability to absorb nightmares caught my interest. I was hoping to study it closer,” Sasha commented, looking down at his clipboard. “It seems that he can’t do it anymore after we separated him from the psitanium.”

Milla looked at Rehm’s face and lightly chewed her bottom lip. “You’re not going to re-expose him, are you?”

“I won’t pretend I hadn’t considered it, but…no.” Sasha grabbed the clipboard and flipped to another page, checking some boxes and taking scribbly notes. “It’s something Agent Mentallis and I will look at in a much more controlled environment. In the future. I’d certainly like to know if other mental constructs can be absorbed and the potential benefits of doing so.”

“That…is an interesting thought.”

Sasha shrugged, seemingly unbothered by the discussion or the situation. “I dug deep into his subconscious. What he did to you, he refers to as Mental Transference. It seems an appropriate enough name, but he wasn’t able to repeat that, either.” He wrote something else down. “It could be due to the lack of psitanium or that I entered his mind through the Tumbler rather than a door. Maybe both.”

Mental Transference. Milla didn’t feel much better about it, though it’d be easier to explain what happened to her with a name attached, she supposed. “I’d like to help you. I could go in, maybe it has something to do with me.”

His eyebrows scrunched together and then Sasha turned to look directly at his new partner. “That’s not a good idea.”

Milla frowned. What did that mean? He didn’t think she was capable enough? He didn’t trust her? Or he just didn’t think she was scientifically competent? No matter how she spun it, Milla couldn’t shove down the urge to argue. “Why not? I’d like to help any way that I can.”

Sasha paused, still staring at her, then put down the clipboard again and sighed. He removed his gloves and ran a hand through his hair. “Camilla. Um. Agent Vodello. I think we should have a…conversation.”

That response did not make her feel any better. Was he ending the partnership before it even began? “About what, Agent Nein?”

“Boundaries.”

The entire room grew very, very cold at that moment. Milla never could’ve predicted that word to come out of his mouth, even though a small part of her had feared the possibility since the first time she hugged him. He certainly knew how to change the mood of a conversation, though, and suddenly she felt her anger transform into an awkward, uncomfortable guilt. “I…I’m sorry, Sasha. Agent Nein.” She took a step away from the lab table. “I should’ve said something to you before coming in here. I was just trying to-”

“No, I’m sorry. That’s not what I…meant,” Sasha interrupted, looking suddenly flustered. “I didn’t mean…augh, I’m not wording this well.” He reached for a cigarette, surprising no one. “Da bin ich mal wieder ins Fettnäpfchen getreten,” he muttered quietly.

“I don’t understand.”

Sasha took a very quick smoke and then finally spoke again. “I noticed you’ve been…pushing yourself the last few days. A lot.” He stared at the cigarette between his fingers. “I understand why, and I appreciate the efforts you’re going to. But you really need to slow down, Milla.” He let go of the cigarette and levitated it near his head. “It’s been less than a week since your experience with Rehm and…” He paused for a moment. “I can feel disorder and confusion radiating from your mind. If it feels overwhelming for me, I can only imagine how it feels for you.”

Milla stood there and stared at him, hands fallen to her sides. He was a very observant man. “O-oh.”

The room still felt cold, but in a different way. Milla knew she needed to respond, but it was hard to find her words. “That’s…yeah. Yes. You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t apologize,” Sasha added, shaking his head. “I remember the adrenaline rush after my first successful mission. But it’ll weigh on you if you don’t pace yourself.”

“I just didn’t want to slow you down.” Milla started to play with the ends of her hair again, wishing it would grow faster. She missed when it was long.

“I’m not concerned about that at all.” His hand twitched in her direction and she wondered if he considered initiating some sort of physical contact. “You’ve already proven yourself to be very capable. But we’re not in a hurry here. We don’t need to jump into any new, dangerous missions just yet.”

She smiled for a moment and then sighed. He was right. She was overexerting herself and she was definitely riding the adrenaline high from their recent mission. It wouldn’t last long and she didn’t want to burn herself out. “Okay. Yeah, you’re right. Thank you, darling. There’s still so much here that I need to get used to.”

He took another drag - a long, slow one, and then opened his mouth to speak. Then suddenly he closed it, looking shy, and turned away.

Milla tilted her head slightly in confusion.

“That’s, um, that’s exactly why you should take it easy,” he finally said, though it was obvious to her that he was originally going to say something else.

She figured he would bring it up later if it was important. Until then, Milla would just have to continue her breathing exercises and remember that every day would contain unknowns and uncertainties. She smiled at him and tugged some hair over both ears at once. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to go bowling or something. I haven’t been since my first day here!”

Sasha glanced between her and Rehm. “...I’ll come with you.”

She tried not to look as surprised as she felt. “Really? Don’t you need to keep working on Lucius?”

“Ach, he’ll be here when I get back.” Sasha gave her a small smile that made her heart flutter a little bit. “I’d much rather spend this time getting to know my new partner better.”

Her heart fluttered a little bit more at that. Sometimes it was hard to tell if he realized he was being charming at all, or if it just came to him naturally. Milla giggled, girlishly covering her mouth with one hand. “Such a flirt!” she said, referencing their conversation from days earlier.

Sasha’s cheeks tinted pink, but he was much less flustered than the first time. He grabbed the edge of his sunglasses and adjusted them awkwardly. “Ah, hm. Right. That’s, um. That’s me,” he answered, trying to play along with the joke and failing spectacularly.

Milla laughed and grabbed his hand, tugging him towards the door. “Come on! You can make fun of how awful I am,” she said cheekily.

“I can assure you I’ll do no such thing,” he answered, squeezing her hand back with a little more pressure than she expected.

[neopuff]

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

chapter five: a lot on my mind ships: sasha/milla characters: milla, sasha, agent 33 word count: 4135 ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53435410/chapters/137321758

[chap 1] [2] [3] [4]

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At least a dozen nightmare creatures surrounded them, not including the three or four dozen further back, held in rocking cages. The room they were in was circular, but it seemed to never end as the rows and rows of cells went back. The nightmares that were closest to them stood eerily still, the fire in their bodies pulsing and glowing, but they remained where they were and didn’t attack. Even more notable than that, though, was the most important element in the room, the pivotal piece to the puzzle that was Lucius Rehm’s mind…

…Lucius himself, levitating above a throne of pink, glowing crystals.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he snarled and glared at them.

Milla felt the hairs on the back of her neck stick up and returned the glare, one hand on Sasha’s back to keep him steady. “What’s the point of all of this, Lucius? What did Ferndale ever do to you?”

“Absolutely nothing!” he sneered. “They were simply in the wrong place at the right time.”

Sasha looked around them, taking note of the unmoving creatures. “How are you still functioning with all these nightmares?” He almost sounded impressed, if not for the circumstances.

“You haven’t figured it out?” Rehm titled his head and smirked. “I thought you Psychonauts were supposed to be smart! These aren’t my nightmares - they’re the nightmares of all the idiots in this one-horse town!” As he said that, Rehm motioned towards a nightmare creature and it slid across the floor, closer to him. He floated towards it and reached one hand down, latching onto the creature’s mouth - its fangs digging into the skin of his hands - and in just a few seconds, Rehm absorbed the essence of the nightmare, leaving a dry husk in its place.

Milla and Sasha stared at one another. She’d never seen or heard of anything like this, and judging by Sasha’s reaction, he hadn’t either.

Rehm laughed and swiped his hand upwards - immediately, Milla felt the ground underneath her and Sasha open up. Before the demonic tendrils could come out to attack, she grabbed him by his arms and levitated them way up into the air, just barely avoiding the strikes. Sasha immediately started PSI-blasting, and Milla dropped him back to the ground so she could join him in their attack.

She wanted to talk more, to try and understand why Lucius was doing the things he’d done, but Milla found it difficult to talk and PSI-blast at the same time. Especially not when Rehm was still shielded and had begun to absorb another nightmare right before their eyes.

Sasha turned his attack towards the nightmare that Rehm was working on, and both Psychonauts were satisfied when the attack didn’t just end Rehm’s absorption, but also seemed to hurt him. He screeched and turned to glare at the two of them, murderous rage in his eyes.

Milla and Sasha looked at one another and smiled, then changed their tactic to fire at the unmoving nightmare creatures around them instead. After significantly injuring six more and listening to Rehm’s agonized screams as they did, they were suddenly squeezed and lifted by a pair of giant, red, telekinetic hands.

Rehm pulled both agents closer to himself, squeezing them so tightly that they could barely breathe, let alone concentrate on attacks.

He was breathing heavily and sweating, looking much worse than he did a minute earlier. “I can always replenish them. You two are wasting your time!” His gaze moved to Milla and lingered on her for a moment, then he smiled. “I can feel an endless supply just waiting to be plucked.”

Milla kicked wildly at him, trying her best to do something while he was squeezing the life out of her. “What…what is your goal here, Lucius?”

“With all this power…” Sasha paused, catching his breath. “...where will it lead?”

In a burst of angry psychic waves, Rehm pulled the both of them even closer. “The power is the goal! With this…with all of these creatures by my side…”

He looked right at Milla, pulled her even closer and smirked evilly at the fear that crossed her face. “...I will never be powerless again.”

Using his telekinetic hand, Rehm tossed Sasha to the side and placed his left hand on Milla’s face. His shield continued to protect him from Sasha’s PSI-blast assault, and Milla’s screams of confusion and pain did nothing to deter him as he pressed his fingers harder against her head.

Sasha didn’t even have time to shout “Get away from her!” before Rehm’s psychic presence was immersed into Milla - and the two of them promptly disappeared from Rehm’s mind. Sasha stared at the space they’d previously occupied and, as the seven remaining nightmares surrounding him started to move, he grabbed the smelling salts from his pocket and narrowly avoided getting attacked again.

X 

“I've never gotten to properly try that. Never had anyone in my head before, so when would I have had the chance?”

Milla slowly opened her eyes, surprised to find herself in the familiar space of her own mind. The music was quiet and the atmosphere was dreary, a little bit dark, but it was still home. She was sitting on one of the benches she kept on all of her platforms, but none of her fellow dancers were around. It was eerie to be in her space with no one else there.

No one but her and Lucius.

“Is this how you see yourself? Seems kind of dowdy considering the bright colors you had on before.”

She closed her eyes and scrunched her eyebrows, feeling a headache coming on. She felt loopy - the experience of being forced back into her own mind by a potentially murderous villain was unpleasant, to say the least. It was hard to focus on anything, let alone his words. But she did finally open her eyes again and looked down at herself. It was an outfit she hadn’t worn in a very long time - white button-up shirt, dark blue dress over top. When she gave it a bit of thought, she could feel her hair was tied back and there was a cap on her head.

“...cala a boca,” she muttered, trying to find her voice again.

Lucius tilted his head and leaned down into her personal space. “Good, she can speak.”

Milla glared at him, his face finally coming into focus.

“I could take a few minutes, destroy your little dance party here, and then find your nightmares. Or you could just tell me where they are and save us both the trouble.” He spoke with so much confidence, like he truly believed there were no other options. The arrogance oozed out of every word.

“...não estão aqui,” she answered slowly.

“Hmm…” Rehm rubbed his chin. “Except that I can feel them nearby. I know they’re here, and I know they’re powerful.” He stepped to the edge of the platform and looked around, spotting a darkened platform against one side of the wall. “Huh. Maybe this’ll be easier than I thought.”

He jumped and Milla turned her head, the light coming back to her eyes just as he took a step into the hellish room that she couldn’t get rid of even if she wanted to. She quickly followed him and managed to arrive in time to see him jump inside the toy chest - too late and still too out-of-sorts to stop him from seeing the chamber inside.

She didn’t want to follow him further, but Milla had a duty as a Psychonaut - and a duty to herself - to prevent him from using her traumas to make himself more powerful. She wouldn’t forgive herself if he used her nightmares to hurt people. 

So she jumped in after him.

Rehm reached into the bars, smiling wildly and ignoring the sound of Milla’s footsteps landing behind him. He grasped the head of one of her nightmares, just as he did to the ones in his own head, and began to absorb.

“Para!” Milla shouted, running towards him and grabbing onto his arm. “Stop! Let go!”

He ignored her still, and once the nightmare was fully absorbed - a weight of pain suddenly fell onto Milla’s shoulders and she was properly knocked to the ground. The nightmare he’d absorbed disintegrated into a pile of ash and then was quickly replaced by a new, identical nightmare.

Milla’s headache got worse.

Rehm’s smile got even wilder and he turned to Milla, leaning down and grabbing her chin with his hand to pull her face closer to his. “This is spectacular! Your nightmares aren’t just whims of fear…they’re endless howls of anguish! You know…I’d love to keep you as a pet - enjoy the unlimited supply you could offer me,” he said with a smirk. “But after the way you Psychonauts have been stalking and harassing me, I’d much rather release these creatures back into your head. Let them have their fun.”

He tossed her to the side and moved to the door of the nightmare cage, grabbed the lock, and just as he was about to shatter it to pieces - a telekinetic hand grabbed him and pulled him so quickly away and out of the room that he was stunned silent as his back hit the wall of the dark nursery.

Milla floated up to join him, a fiery rage giving her back the focus she needed to take control of her mind once again.

“Perhaps I was too hasty!” Rehm said after collecting himself. “We could work together, Milla.”

He said her name just the way the orphans had - the same inflection, the same tone, it was clear he’d gained knowledge about her history from the nightmare he’d absorbed. Which made her even angrier.

Rehm stood up and walked closer to her, trying to look compassionate. “You’ve known the same powerlessness that I have. You know how much it tears a person apart. We don’t need to be powerless. Your nightmares can make you powerful.”

She took a long, deep breath - then used a telekinetic fist to punch Rehm so hard that he flew out of the nursery and back out to one of the many platforms that were floating aimlessly nearby. He landed with a loud thud! and Milla quickly followed him out.

“I don’t need your kind of power,” she shouted, grabbing him with her telekinetic hand and slamming his body back onto the platform repeatedly. “It doesn’t heal! It doesn’t help anyone! Not you, and especially not me!”

Milla levitated closer and stood above Rehm, who was struggling under her telekinesis, unable to move. He was trying to concentrate on his breathing, just like she and Sasha had earlier. 

Imitating him again, she leaned down into his personal space. “Coming into my mind was a mistake, Lucius. You can’t take control here.”

He glared at her, still trying to break free, and chose not to say anything in response.

She was about to say something else when she felt a new presence enter her mind. Milla took a deep breath, kept a tight hold of Rehm, and turned around to find Sasha Nein levitating nearby - staring at them cautiously. The vision of herself quickly transformed back into the livelier, brighter outfit she was sporting in the real world, and she flipped her hair over her shoulder and smiled at her guest. “Hello, Sasha!”

“...Milla,” he said softly, landing next to her. “It looks like I wasn’t needed here.”

“Nonsense, darling,” she responded happily, not caring that it wasn’t really appropriate to call her coworker darling. She was too excited to see him to stop herself. “I’m always happy to see a friendly face!”

Sasha gave her a small smile at that, but it was pretty obvious that he’d been worried sick. She had no idea what exactly Rehm did to her - forcing the two of them from his mind to hers in one quick attack - but it probably looked terrifying from Sasha’s perspective. He would’ve had no clue what was going on. 

“It’d probably be even nicer to get rid of an unfriendly face,” he muttered, grabbing his smelling salts and kneeling down by Rehm.

“Get away from me, Psychonaut trash!” Lucius snarled, shaking around under Milla’s telekinetic hand. “You won’t-!”

He was cut off by Sasha’s smelling salts opening right under his nose, and in only a moment - he was gone. Sasha sighed and turned around, frowning at how exhausted Milla looked. “Are you alright?”

Milla fell to her knees and hung her head, taking a long deep breath before responding. “Not really. I think I need a minute. My mind feels…violated.”

After a moment of hesitation, Sasha came over and sat next to her. He didn’t say anything, but he hoped that being there would offer some level of comfort.

They sat together silently for a minute and Milla appreciated every second of it. Then her music started to play, and her dancers re-appeared, and everything started to feel normal again. The break was nice, having Sasha around was nice, but nothing was nicer than her home being her home again. She took a deep breath and tugged some hair behind her ears. “That’s better!”

Sasha nodded at her and stood up. “I apologize for coming in here without your permission. I just…wasn’t sure what else to do.”

Milla levitated so her head was right in front of his, but she looked a few inches taller. “It’s fine, darling! I know you were just worried. But I’m sorry the party in here isn’t as fun as usual. Lucius did a number on the place.”

He looked around the room and shoved his hands into his pockets. “It’s different from what I expected. But it’s nice. Very…you.”

She laughed at that and levitated back down so her feet were on the ground. “Such a flirt!” she joked, lightly hitting his chest.

At that, Sasha’s face turned bright red and he got all sweaty and nervous - a complete 180 in less than a second. “I-I’m sorry, no, that…that was not my intention at all. I was just, um. Trying to say, uh-”

“Sasha, Sasha, honey,” Milla cut him off and laid her hand on his chest, leaving it there for a moment while she spoke. “I was kidding. You haven’t done anything wrong.” She couldn’t pretend she didn’t find it charming how nervous he got - she had a feeling he didn’t have a lot of experience with women, and outgoing women even less so. It might’ve been a little mean of her to joke about flirting, but she couldn’t help it. He was just…so cute.

“Ah. Right. Of course.” Sasha adjusted his sunglasses and cleared his throat, the redness fading from his cheeks. “I hope that means you’re feeling better.”

She smiled at him and combed her long fingers through her hair. “I think I’m ready to go back now. Is 33 waiting for us?”

He nodded. “We moved you and Rehm to the jet before I entered your mind. 33’s got him in a trance so he won’t cause any more trouble. If everything went according to plan, we’ll likely be back at the Motherlobe soon.”

“Oh, that’s so good to hear. I could go for a coffee right about now.”

Sasha grabbed his smelling salts and held them in front of him. “I’ll get out of here. Then all you need to do is…wake up,” he said softly, then opened up the salts and exited her mind.

Milla took another deep breath, staring at the space he’d just occupied. She decided to take a moment for herself before waking up and floated over to the nursery that she wished wasn’t always taking up space in the corner. But she needed it. She needed to remember the children, and how important they were to her, and how she’d never completely forgive herself for what happened. She had to move on with her life, but she never wanted to forget them. Every face, every name, every voice - would stay with her forever.

She closed the toy chest, drowning out the sounds of pain that came from inside. Then floated up to her favorite dance platform and tried to concentrate on waking up.

X

Milla opened her eyes to find Sasha and 33 discussing some of the things they’d seen Lucius do while inside his and her own mind. She distinctly heard the words study and experiment, but couldn’t focus on the entire sentence just yet. She sat up straight and groaned, cradling her head.

“You’re awake,” Sasha said quietly, stepping closer. “How do you feel?”

“Like I was hit by a bus,” Milla answered, opening one eye to see that Sasha was leaning down and looking positively chivalrous. “But it’ll pass.”

“We were worried about you, Vodello,” 33 added. “Nein said Rehm forced you from his mind into yours…that’s some scary shit.”

Milla nodded, not sure how else to respond. It was scary. It was something she’d never heard of before, and she certainly didn’t like that a man so new to his psychic powers could develop such a skill. The prolonged exposure to psitanium seemed to make him powerful, but also seemed to warp his mind. Though he had a lot of dark, troubled times in his life, there was no criminal history to speak of or any interest in groups seeking power. Everything came so suddenly. She wondered if he’d be able to help himself after they separated him from the psitanium.

“You were very impressive, Milla,” Sasha said, taking a seat next to her. “Allow me to buy you that coffee when we get back to base.”

She smiled at him and blushed a tiny bit, feeling a wave of appreciation radiating off of him. Milla wasn’t sure if she’d ever known a man that felt so honest and genuine - when he said a kind thing to her, she really, really, believed it. “That sounds lovely.”

“You guys can head to the Noodle Bowl,” 33 said, standing up. “I’ll take Rehm to lockup.”

“We’re already back?” Milla stood up, looking out the front window. Not surprisingly, the Motherlobe was right there waiting for them. She’d definitely thought Sasha was exaggerating when he said they’d be there soon.

“Thank you, Agent 33. I’ll try to do some work on him later today,” he said with a nod, levitating out of the top of the plane.

Milla followed him, though she still felt a little unlike herself. She couldn’t tell how much time had passed - no idea how long they’d been in Rehm’s mind or in her own, and she still didn’t fully understand what had happened to her. Everything in her mind seemed just fine, the mental barriers preventing her nightmares from escaping were in place just as always. But there was that sense of violation, the feeling that someone unwelcome was scurrying around inside her head - it left her with an icky sensation. 

She stayed quiet while they made their way into the Motherlobe, even while Sasha was grabbing the coffees. All she could think about at that moment was how much she wanted to redecorate.

“Camilla?” he asked softly, handing her the cup. “If you need to rest, you can come to my office. I won’t mind.”

“That would be great, actually,” she answered, enjoying how warm the cup was against her palms as she took it from him. “Agent Forsythe is supposed to be in meetings all day, anyway, so it’s not like I can update her.”

“Agent 33 is already on her way to the Grand Head’s office. They’ll discuss what to do with Rehm from there, though I’d really like to see him in my lab first.” Sasha sipped at his own coffee and paused for a moment in front of the hallway fish tank. “I think Agent Mentallis and I could gain some valuable insights from him.”

They entered his office and Milla immediately moved to take a seat on his long, orange couch. She smiled and sipped her coffee - she didn’t respond to his previous statement, but she didn’t think he had any expectation for her to do so. She wasn’t a scientist like him or Agent Mentallis, she was much more interested in helping Rehm heal. The remnants of doubts they’d seen in his mind gave her hope that the golf-loving Lucius Rehm was still in there somewhere.

There were a few moments of silence before Milla felt a presence join her on the couch - she opened her eyes and saw that Sasha had taken a seat next to her. Not too close, of course, but not too far, either. Which was a little surprising, but not unwelcome. “Your office is really nice, Sasha. Very calming.”

He nodded and reached a hand to his inner coat pocket, looking like he was about to grab a cigarette, but then he stopped and clasped his hands together in front of him instead. “Milla…I want to ask you something. If you don’t want to answer, I won’t be offended, but I’d like to know why Rehm was so interested in your mind.”

“Ah.” She had a feeling the question would come up sooner or later. Well, Milla felt like she and Sasha had a good friendship and she knew he wouldn’t judge her for what happened. It was still difficult to talk about, but after everything she’d been through that day - there was no reason not to explain. “I…have nightmares. A lot of them.”

“Currently?” He looked at her, a little confused. “I was under the impression that you used to have nightmares and overcame them.”

She tugged at her hair awkwardly. “I did. Technically. Truman helped me build a…prison for them. Almost like the one in Lucius’ mind. But the nightmares are still there. They’re just…hidden away. They can’t get out and hurt me or anyone else, but they can’t be destroyed, either.”

Sasha frowned and stared at her. “Is it alright if I ask why? Psychonauts destroying a person’s nightmares isn’t unheard of.”

“They’re not just nightmares, though. They’re…they’re my memories.” Milla had never had to explain her situation to someone, though she’d tried to prepare herself for the day she would. It was a difficult thing to get someone to understand when they didn’t have the same experience. “I used to work at an orphanage, a few years ago. There was a fire one day while I was out and all the children died.”

He squeezed his hands tighter and took a deep breath. Something told him she wasn’t quite done.

“That was the day I learned I was psychic,” she continued quietly. “I could hear them, feel them - their screams, their agony, everything. Even from down the street. The nightmares are just…that. Over and over and over again.” Milla ran a hand all the way through her hair, messing up her part. “So I can’t get rid of the nightmares. Not really. I just had to learn to…compartmentalize. That’s all.”

Unexpectedly, Sasha reached out a hand and placed it gently on top of hers. “Camilla…I’m sorry you went through that. No one should ever have to experience something like that. But…the fact that you’re here today, and after such a short amount of time…that shows tremendous strength and focus. You’ve overcome more in the past few years than most people do in their entire lives.” He squeezed her hand for a second, then pulled back in a haste that felt like he realized he was in her personal bubble. “Sorry. I just, um. I’m…proud. Proud to work alongside you.”

Milla felt her heart racing faster and faster inside her chest, and she hoped that didn’t become a problem some day. It wasn’t her fault that Sasha Nein was incredibly, impossibly charming and comforting. “That’s really nice of you to say. I…I still feel like I have a long way to go. But I’m happy with where I am.”

“I can’t say this is true for everyone, but it’s likely you’ll always feel that you have a long way to go,” he added, tapping his fingers on his leg. “It’s been twenty-six years and I’ve still not gotten over my mother’s death.” 

There was a jokey lilt to his statement that caught Milla off-guard, and she chuckled despite the situation. Deciding to take a little risk, she scooted closer to him on the couch and leaned her head onto his shoulder, taking a long, deep breath. “I really enjoyed working with you today, Sasha.”

He went ramrod straight for a moment, two moments, three moments…then relaxed. “I enjoyed…working with you, too. Milla.”

Both of them felt a serenity fall over the room and had to admit - after everything they’d just dealt with - it was a nice way to wrap up the day.

[neopuff]

title: compliments word count: ~3100 ships/characters: sasha/milla, otto summary: Sasha struggles with his feelings and gets advice from an unlikely source. ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51792757

It was not a familiar situation that he found himself in.

Sasha Nein was an expert on keeping his feelings in check - he was meticulous and orderly and just the slightest bit paranoid when it came to staying clear and level-headed. He was, however, only human. And being only human, there were occasions where his emotions would run away from him, as much as he tried to stay on top of things.

As he laid on the ground underneath his partner, his face hot and an awkward smile on his face (because what else could he do when his heart was beating so fast?), Sasha was faced with one of those occasions.

Professional as always, the two of them focused on their mission and getting each other safely back to base, rather than spend any time examining the moment they’d shared. But hours later, when Sasha found himself alone in his lab, accompanied only by the soft hum of Milla’s presence in his mind, he was able to sit and focus on his feelings.

Their partnership wasn’t something new. They’d been working together for a few years already, and often their minds would come together without even trying. Their closeness couldn’t be understated - they knew more about one another than anyone else in the Psychonauts.

His growing feelings for her were also not new. Sasha had been…working on them for several months, trying to understand if he was misinterpreting his attachment to her as romantic when it was simply admiration, or if he was truly falling in love with his partner. He wouldn’t be the first - not the first Psychonaut to fall for a fellow psychic, and not the first person to fall under the spell of Milla Vodello.

It took several weeks for him to admit the truth to himself - he was not just falling for her, he was already 100%, completely in love. It was…strange, to say the least. Based on his research, Sasha had assumed this realization would make him feel more antsy or nervous around her. Instead, he felt calmer. Having her in his mind was always comforting. She never pried or spied or dug into areas he asked her not to. She was respectful of his privacy, just as he was to hers.

Genuinely, Sasha didn’t think his feelings for Milla would become a problem. He had no intention of acting on them or telling her anything about them, and he’d never let his feelings for her get in the way of his work. He was a Psychonaut first, human being second.

Of course, that was easier said than done.

Milla Vodello was beautiful and affectionate and friendly. And she was touchy - she liked to hold hands, link arms, kiss cheeks, hug. Sasha Nein normally wasn’t a fan of any of those sorts of things, though when Milla was the one initiating, he had no problem whatsoever.

There was one particular evening on a foggy day in April, when Milla let him know that she would be spending the night at a loud party with a friend named Francisco, and suggested that they could temporarily sever their psychic connection.

“I wouldn't want you to get a headache, darling,” Milla had said very sweetly.

And he agreed with her. It made sense. He didn't enjoy loud music or clubs and Milla explained that she hadn't gone partying with her friend in a long time, so she planned on drinking more than usual. It was a Friday, she'd already requested leave for the weekend - there was no professional reason for Sasha to do anything but agree.

But as he tried to work that night, as he often did, Sasha’s thoughts kept drifting to her friend Francisco. He was unfamiliar with the man - Milla had only mentioned him once or twice before while telling stories from her younger years. Those stories weren’t particularly detailed - Sasha had no real indication of what her relationship with Francisco was. It sounded like they were friends. But…relationships could change at any moment.

Psychonaut first, human being second was repeating in his head for over an hour, in a booming German voice that sounded oddly similar to his father’s, when Sasha realized he’d gone through an entire pack of cigarettes.

He felt deeply ashamed that simply the idea of Milla maybe being on a romantic outing with someone she shared history and interests with had put him in such a stupor. He’d gotten no work done and wasted money by smoking too much too quickly.

That was the first time that Sasha Nein considered the possibility of telling someone how he felt about her. The thought of telling Milla made his face turn red and his eye twitch, but perhaps he could tell…someone else. If therapy had taught him anything at all, it was the benefit of talking things out.

Unfortunately, he was not currently seeing a therapist. And he didn’t have many people he could call his friends. No family. He had a friendly(ish?) relationship with some of the Psychic Six, but was worried that there could be professional repercussions if he told them he was struggling. Sasha relied on his partnership with Milla more than he ever thought he would, and if talking about his feelings meant the possibility of losing her, he would keep his mouth shut forever.

“Burning the midnight oil, Sasha?”

Sasha turned around, surprised to find one of the Psychic Six standing at his doorway. Normally Sasha was keenly aware of his surroundings at all times; just another piece of evidence that he was getting distracted. “Otto. Can I help you with something?”

Otto Mentallis tilted his head slightly and smirked - he had always liked Sasha and he didn’t keep that a secret. They had a lot in common, and Otto saw a bit of himself in the man. “Just smelled more smoke than usual, wanted to make sure you hadn’t fallen asleep with a lit cigarette in your mouth.”

“Ah.” Sasha sighed, even more ashamed of himself than before. He glanced over at the ashtray on his desk and frowned at the sight of so many cigarette butts clumped together.

Following his line of sight, Otto raised a curious eyebrow. “Is something stressing you out, Nein? That looks worse than usual.”

Sasha paused, considering his options. His first instinct was to lie and say he was fine, there’s nothing on his mind. But Otto was a man of logic over emotions - though he wasn’t always known for respecting privacy, the man’s complete lack of interest in romance could make him the ideal person to discuss his problems with.

“...yes. Something is bothering me, actually,” Sasha said quietly, finally relenting.

Otto looked momentarily surprised by that and walked over to Sasha’s desk. “Let’s hear it, then. Maybe I can help you out.”

“It’s…complicated.” Sasha felt completely out of place, not sure how to word his feelings or his concerns. “I…I’ve been looking through the Psychonauts Handbook for an answer.”

“About?”

Sasha took a breath. “Fraternization.”

The look on Otto’s face would’ve been comical if Sasha wasn’t busy being too emotionally compromised to pay attention. That very clearly was not a word that the older man was prepared to hear.

“That’s, uh…hm,” Otto started, putting a hand to his chin. “I’m guessing this means you and Agent Vodello finally hooked up.”

Sasha’s body froze, bewilderment taking priority over his embarrassment. “...I don’t know what you mean by that.”

“Hook up? Really? It’s -”

The younger agent held up one hand, his other pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know what you mean by finally.”

Otto chuckled awkwardly. “Well. You two are closer than the average partners - I’m sure you’ve noticed that. Everyone else has.”

Sasha felt himself getting more and more embarrassed by the second. “I…no, I didn’t realize that. We work very well together, but we’ve never…” He paused, trying to figure out what to do with his hands. He felt like a fool for thinking a conversation could improve his situation. “We’re just partners. And friends.”

“Alright, sure.” Otto didn’t sound convinced, but he was confused. “So then why the question of fraternization? You hooked up with someone else?”

“There has been no hooking up with anyone,” Sasha answered, starting to get impatient. Otto had a habit of running his mouth instead of letting other people talk, which was usually only slightly annoying. At that moment, Sasha found it agitating. “I…I think I’m…”

His mouth suddenly got dry, his cheeks flushed, his hands shaky.

Otto tilted his head again. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, you know.”

“I’m…in love with Agent Vodello,” Sasha said quietly, not realizing how strange it would feel to say it out loud. He’d barely even said the words in his head - out loud, it felt like he wasn’t even speaking. Like his words weren’t his own.

“Ah. Alright.”

The room grew silent for a few moments, and Sasha could feel the awkward tension in the air get thicker and thicker. He glanced up at Otto and was confused to see the man staring off into the distance, contemplative hand to his chin.

The older man finally spoke again after what felt like an eternity. “So what is your concern, exactly? Are you asking if you’re allowed to be in love with your partner?”

Listening to his question worded in such a way made Sasha feel like a fool. It sounded very, very stupid. “I…I don’t know,” he answered uncomfortably. “I’m worried my feelings will get in the way of our partnership.”

“Well, what’d she say about it?” Otto asked pointedly, almost like it was a completely normal follow-up question.

Sasha shook his head, unable to make his embarrassment lessen. “I haven’t said anything to her. And I’d prefer if you didn’t, either.”

Otto stepped closer, leaning against Sasha’s desk with his arms crossed over his chest. “Even I’ve got more tact than that, Nein. But I’m confused. Why not tell her? She probably feels the same way. Then you can get married and have babies if you want all that.”

Sasha felt his cheeks turning somehow even redder. “I-....I don’t-” He took a deep breath. “It’s not that I don’t necessarily want that. Or not want that. But I don’t think she feels the same way and I wouldn’t want to make her uncomfortable.”

Otto hummed. It was clear he wanted to say something that might not go over well, just from the way he was sorting through his thoughts. But Sasha couldn’t imagine how their conversation could possibly get worse.

“You’re overthinking this.”

“Am I?” Sasha asked genuinely.

“You’ve been partners for years. Even if she didn’t feel the same way, she clearly cares about you dearly,” Otto started - his voice was monotone, almost like he was reading something. “She’d never want to lose you as a partner and wouldn’t let a little thing like this get in the way of your teamwork.”

Sasha sighed, unconvinced. “It doesn’t feel like a little thing to me.”

Otto rolled his eyes and put a hand on Sasha’s shoulder. It was clear to both of them that he was not used to comforting someone in such a way, but he was doing a better job than either could’ve imagined. “You should try telling her, then.”

“I-...I don’t see that happening in the near future.”

“Well, try to do it before you die, at least.” Otto shrugged. “You work dangerous jobs, it’d be a shame to move on without getting to say it.”

He had a point, Sasha had to admit. He and Milla had already been in plenty of near-death situations where he’d felt an urge to hold her close and never let go.

“I can’t imagine where Bob would be if he’d never said anything,” Otto mumbled, off in his own world. “Probably even more miserable than he already is.”

Sasha frowned. He wasn’t much of a drinker, but the idea of losing Milla the way that Bob Zanotto lost his husband was almost too much to consider. He didn’t want to die without telling her. But he didn’t want to burden her with his feelings if she didn’t feel the same way. It was a difficult line he needed to balance on - but he was nothing if not a man of balance.

“You could just try flirting. See how she responds.”

Somehow, that suggestion was even more exhausting than straightforwardly telling her how he felt. “It should be obvious that I’ve never flirted with anyone in my life.”

Otto scoffed. “All you have to do is compliment her. I’m sure you already do that.”

“I…” Did he? Sasha had complimented her skills, her bravery, the many obstacles she’d overcome to get to where she was. He was constantly impressed by her and admired her in so many ways. He even, very occasionally, complimented her appearance - though only if she did something new with her hair or was dressed up for a special event.

“If you think she looks good, tell her so. Women love that.”

Sasha felt embarrassed again. “She always looks good.”

“Tell her, then!” Otto slapped him on the back. “Maybe she’ll smile and say you look good, too. Maybe she’ll kiss you. Lots of options, Nein.”

“I think this has been the most uncomfortable conversation of my life,” Sasha said, one hand over his mouth as he glared into the distance.

Otto chuckled. “Then you need to have more uncomfortable conversations! This is nothing.” The older man sighed and stretched, loudly cracking his back. “You need to quit overthinking and just be yourself.”

Sasha sighed again. “It’s hard not to overthink when she’s…out with someone right now.”

“Boyfriend?”

“I don’t believe so.”

“Then what’s the issue?” Otto’s wrinkled face was scrunched up in confusion. 

“I don't know what the issue is! But I've not been able to get it off my mind,” Sasha confessed, exasperated. “I’m not accustomed to…jealousy.”

Rather than a chuckle, this time Otto laughed - loudly. It made Sasha steam with embarrassment and frustration.

“Nein, trust me. You’ll be fine.” Otto patted the younger man’s shoulder and sighed almost dreamily, thinking back to something from years past. “If you ever feel an urge to follow her or sabotage her other relationships, then you’ve got a problem. A little jealousy never hurt anyone.”

Desperately wanting this conversation to end, Sasha relented and sighed - he was going to try to listen to Otto. He’d take the man’s advice and see how it went. “For someone who’s claimed to never been in a relationship, you’ve been acting very knowledgeable about the subject.”

“That’s what happens when you’re always watching from the outside.” Otto wagged one finger knowingly. “It gives you more perspective.”

Sasha had to admit, that made a lot of sense.

“Now trust my methods! You’ll see, Sasha, it’ll work out.”

“...I’ll try.”

X

There was no drama or fanfare when Milla reconnected their minds the next day. Sasha kept his questions brief - did you have a good time with your friend, did you make sure to drink plenty of water - and Milla seemed satisfied. She didn't mention anything significant, the club played some older music that she hadn't heard in years and that made the experience more fun, apparently. But otherwise there was nothing of note, and it didn’t seem like she was hiding anything from him, either.

On Monday morning when she floated into his office to bring him what would be his second cup of coffee for the day, Sasha slowly turned his head to stare. She looked lovely every day, just as he'd said to Otto, but something about her did seem lovelier that morning.

Perhaps it was seeing her for the first time in several days.

She placed the coffee on his desk and Sasha smiled at her awkwardly. “Um…Camilla?”

“Yes, darling?”

“You, uh…you look very nice today.”

Her head popped up and there was a confused expression on her face - but she certainly didn't look unhappy. 

She seemed flattered, if he had to guess.

“Why thank you, Sasha!” Milla answered, clasping her hands together in front of her. “And you look very handsome as always!”

He blushed and quickly turned away from her, wondering if she was just being polite. “I also wanted to say that, um.” He cleared his throat. “Your levitation skills are admirable. Any Psychonaut would be happy to have half your talent.”

There was a moment of silence in the room, a moment where Sasha thought he might've somehow said something wrong. But then very suddenly, Milla’s arms were wrapped around his shoulders and she placed a gentle kiss against his cheek.

“I'm not sure what's come over you, darling, but I'm a huge fan!” Milla said as she pulled away. “A girl could get used to so many compliments.”

Sasha huffed, resisting the urge to place his hand against his cheek where there was undoubtedly a lipstick stain. He couldn't believe how right Otto had been. “I just wanted to…make sure you know how much I value you.”

Her eyes sparkled for a moment and her smile couldn't have been wider. “You’re so sweet today, Sasha. Did something happen this weekend?”

“Not at all.” He didn't need to tell her that he was jealous of her going out with another man that he knew nothing about. “Just wanted to make sure you knew.”

She floated up and bent her knees, hands still clasped together and hanging down under her legs. She was smiling so much that it was hurting her face, but how could she stop? “I appreciate that. And you, of course.”

There was a glint in her eyes that made Sasha think she had more she wanted to say, but he didn't pry. He couldn't do too much on a Monday morning or she'd start asking more questions. Instead, he simply nodded at her and hoped the heat on his cheeks wasn't noticeable.

“Have a good day, darling,” Milla said as she floated back out the door.

He didn't respond, but it was less than a minute later that he felt her psychic presence in his mind. 

“Would you like to have lunch together today?”

Sasha smiled, feeling accomplished despite the fact that they almost always ate lunch together. On the days that he remembered to eat lunch, of course. “Sounds excellent.”

Her response was a burst of positive energy that Sasha felt seep into his bones. He'd definitely be listening to Otto more often.

[neopuff]

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

chapter nine: a load off my mind ships: sasha/milla characters: milla, sasha, ford, oleander word count: 5867 ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53435410/chapters/137330296

[chap 1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

-

Whispering Rock was a very interesting place.

The valley was certainly remote - Sasha hadn’t expected to drive through the woods for almost two hours - but he couldn’t deny that it looked lovely. Oleander had done a great job, though he probably wouldn’t say as much to the man. He’d been getting enough praise for the camp already.

Sasha and Milla decided to arrive at the camp three days early in the hopes to familiarize themselves with the area and get used to the great outdoors. It’d been a long time since either of them roughed it, so to speak, and they needed to portray a good example for the children.

She was already there when Sasha arrived - her signature car sitting in the parking lot in all its shiny, red glory. His car was boxy and green and felt very quiet next to hers. He wondered if it would’ve made more sense for them to carpool. Perhaps he would suggest it if they decided to come back.

But before any of that, he needed to find her. Sasha reached out to her mentally and she sent back a relaxed aura and images of water. It wasn’t hard to figure out that she was by the lake. He grabbed the crudely-drawn map that Oleander provided them and started making his way towards Lake Oblongata. The path wasn’t too difficult to follow, which boded well for the campers.

A large building caught his eye as he made his way towards the water, and a quick look at the map told Sasha it was the main lodge. Agent Cruller apparently spent a decent amount of time there, and it would be where they ate all of their meals. It looked well-constructed, at least.

As the lake finally came into view, Sasha spotted his partner sitting along the edge of the beach - boots on the ground next to her so she could dip her feet in the water. He couldn’t say he was surprised by that.

Sasha levitated over and stood just a few feet behind her. “Having fun?”

Milla leaned her head back so she was staring at him upside-down. “The water’s very nice. Maybe we can go swimming before the kids get here!”

He smirked at that, then stared out at the water. It was quite nice. Oleander had really outdone himself. “I didn’t bring a swimsuit.”

She gasped dramatically. “You didn’t plan to swim at all?”

“Not particularly.” Sasha took a few steps forward, but not close enough for the water to touch his shoes. “I’m not much of a swimmer. But I’d be happy to sit here and watch while you enjoy.”

Milla chuckled and Sasha’s face immediately burned at the realization of what he’d said. He didn’t even bother correcting himself, simply sent a mental wave of you-know-what-I-meant towards her.

“I haven’t seen Agent Cruller yet,” Milla said, changing the subject. “Aaronson said that he’s even stranger here than back at the Motherlobe.”

“Is that so?” Sasha pulled out a cigarette, deciding he was getting a little too much fresh air. “It’s hard to believe Agent Mentallis’ theory was wrong.”

She shrugged and levitated into the air, shaking the sand and water off her feet before putting her boots back on.

“Did you look at anything else or just come straight to the lake?” Sasha asked, trying not to watch her every movement. She was hypnotizing to him sometimes, he couldn’t help it.

“Nope!” Milla smiled and plopped her feet back onto the ground. “I know there’s a fire pit on the other side of the lodge and the cabins are off in that direction,” she said, pointing to the north, “and I believe Morceau said there’s an off-limits area over that way.”

Sasha tilted his head. “Off-limits? For what purpose?”

“I’m not sure.” She started to walk back towards the main lodge and Sasha followed her. “He probably just meant it’s off-limits for the campers. Maybe something they haven’t finished building yet?”

“Hmm. I think we should check that out, then.”

A few minutes later and they found themselves staring at a very unexpected structure deep in the woods of Whispering Rock. Neither knew quite what to say about it, except that they never could’ve anticipated seeing something of that nature in a camp made for children.

Milla frowned, staring from the entrance. “These are psychoisolation chambers, aren’t they?”

“Looks like it.” Sasha levitated above the structure to get a better look. “I’m sure Morceau isn’t planning on throwing the children in here. That’d be…” He paused, then floated down on top of the highest part of the chambers. “Immoral. Probably.”

“Probably,” Milla repeated, doing nothing to hide her annoyance. “We’ll have to ask him about this when he gets here, won’t we?”

Sasha came back down and they made their way around the rest of the camp. Oleander had a large treehouse office that was, thankfully, very well-constructed, and also very close to the camper’s cabins. There were just three cabins - one for girls, one for boys, and one for the counselors.

“Ah.” Sasha stared at the counselor cabin, realizing something he should’ve realized earlier. “So. It’ll be you and me and…Morry. In this little space. Every night?”

Milla laughed and elbowed him in the arm. “You seem surprised, Sasha! What did you expect? Private rooms?” She floated inside and moved to the bed furthest in the back, wiping off the blanket. “I think I’ll take this one.”

Sasha followed her inside. He hadn’t thought about sleeping arrangements at all. He and Milla had shared hotel rooms in the past, but they usually had more space between them. He found himself both relieved and annoyed that Oleander would be in the room, too. And what about Agent Cruller? It didn’t look like Cruller had been staying there. Perhaps he had his own cabin somewhere else on the campgrounds. Or maybe a tent.

“Darling, you should take the bed across from mine!” Milla said, floating over to that bed and sitting on it. “I’m sure Morceau will want to be closest to the door, anyway.”

“Of course.” Sasha shrugged. He didn’t imagine he’d be sleeping much in such an uncomfortable space. But he needed to prove to Oleander that he was capable of doing this, and he wanted to support Milla by sticking around. There was no room for complaining about little things like sleeping arrangements. “Whichever you think is best.”

After that, they headed to the parking lot to grab their suitcases and bring them back to the cabins. If not for telekinesis, Sasha would’ve been annoyed that they were on complete opposite ends of the camp. He couldn’t imagine being forced to actually carry his luggage the entire way across.

Along the journey back to the cabins, they finally spotted Agent Cruller.

He was using a broom to sweep grass and dirt not far from the main lodge, mumbling under his breath. Sasha and Milla looked at each other, and psychically decided to wait until they were unpacked before they talked to him. They both had a feeling that he’d want to chat for a long time, as older people tended to do.

Agent Cruller was gone by the time they made their way back.

“Maybe he’s in the lodge,” Milla suggested, pointing towards it. “Morceau said he cooks all the camp meals, and it’s almost dinnertime.”

Sasha nodded and they made their way inside, unsurprised to find Agent Cruller standing there behind the counter. He was mumbling about burgers and fries and had on a chef’s hat and apron, which weren’t present when they saw him earlier.

“Agent Cruller,” Sasha said, walking towards him. “It’s good to see you.”

The older man tilted his head at the two of them. “Huh…you look different than before! What’s with the green? Huh?”

Sasha frowned and glanced at Milla, who simply smiled and came closer. “Hello! Do you remember me, Agent Cruller? My name is Milla. Milla Vodello!”

Cruller stared at her, his eyes slowly squinting until there was no way he could see anything at all. He then opened his eyes wide, made a noise of surprise, then looked over at Sasha, and then back to Milla again. “I know you two! You’re psychics! Hungry psychics, I’ll bet! You want some burgers?”

Milla’s smile softened and she tugged some hair behind her ears. “Um, yes, sure! That sounds lovely. Thank you, Agent Cruller.”

“Call me Ford, why don’t you?” the older man said loudly. “You two are much too tall to be talking to me like that!”

Sasha ran a hand through his hair, feeling a frustrated knot forming in his shoulder. That always happened when he talked to Agent Cruller for too long - the man’s mental state reminded him too much of exactly the type of damage a Psychonaut was constantly in danger of. “Of course, Ford. Whatever you’d like.”

Cruller gave them a toothy smile and disappeared to make the food.

“I, um. I don’t think Agent Mentallis had the right idea about the psitanium,” Milla said, clasping her hands in front of her. “But maybe the fresh air is good for him, at least?”

“Hopefully,” Sasha answered.

X

Milla woke the next morning feeling oddly achy. Her head hurt - not in a way she was used to. It was like a specific part of her brain was irritated. Almost like she’d spent all night listening to loud music, but somehow…different. It was difficult to explain.

When Sasha came out of their shared bathroom and expressed a similar type of headache, she knew she wasn’t crazy, at least.

“I just assumed it’s because I’ve been cooped up indoors for so long,” Sasha joked, though he also meant it genuinely. “But a headache after less than a day outdoors did seem a bit fast.”

She got up and rushed to the bathroom, desperately needing to brush her teeth and do something about her hair. Sometimes Milla remembered the first time she and Sasha shared a bedroom - she’d been so nervous about how she looked that she’d made sure to wake up before him so she could beautify herself. It took barely two days of that before she gave up and let him see her ridiculous bedhead. He never commented either way. “Could it be the psitanium?”

There was a pause before she heard Sasha’s muffled response from the other side of the bathroom door. “That seems likely. I've certainly not been around this much psitanium before.”

Milla stared at her reflection in the mirror, happy she didn't look as bad as her head felt. “Me neither,” she added before starting to brush her teeth.

She could hear Sasha moving around in the other room and reached out with her mind - somehow they’d gotten to the point where even thirty seconds of not knowing what was going on in his head made her curious. If they were in a different kind of relationship, they’d probably be described as clingy or codependent. But as Psychonaut partners, it was totally normal and fine.

“Maybe we can ask Agent Cruller about it,” Sasha said. Then, after a moment, he corrected himself. “Er, Ford. We can ask Ford.”

Milla smiled. He was never very good at being casual, especially not with senior Psychonauts. She sent him a mental agreement, then quickly finished getting ready and dressed and headed out the door. “Ready to go?”

Sasha nodded at her and telekinetically opened the cabin door, allowing her to leave first. Such a gentleman.

They wandered around for a bit, wondering if they’d find Ford outside somewhere. His persona in the main lodge - the one wearing the chef hat - wasn’t the most helpful. There was always a possibility that one of his other personas around the campgrounds would have better information. But they didn’t see the sweeping persona on their walk towards the lodge, so they decided it was time for breakfast.

“Good morning!” Ford shouted as they entered the lodge. He had a bright smile on his face and was chewing on a large piece of bacon. “We got the good stuff today!”

Milla and Sasha glanced at one another before walking closer to him. She smiled gently. “Good morning, Ford! How are you today?”

“Great!” He pulled the bacon out of his mouth and took a big whiff of it, then took another big bite. “I love this bacon! It’s delicious!”

Sasha sighed and stepped forward, much more impatient than Milla. “You’ve been here for a few weeks now, Agent-er, Ford. Did the psitanium have an adverse effect on you when you first arrived? Headaches? Anything like that?”

Ford stared at Sasha and blinked slowly. Once. Twice. Three times. Then he shook his head. “I’ve got no clue what you’re talking about. But I’ve got some fine egg ‘n bacon sandwiches for the two of you when you want ‘em!”

Sasha sighed again, and barely reacted as Milla put a hand on his arm. “That sounds great, Ford, thank you.”

The older man disappeared for a few seconds, then reappeared with the sandwiches. “All wrapped up, just like a fancy restaurant!”

Milla took them and gave one to Sasha, who seemed generally uninterested in the food. He was clearly disappointed in Agent Cruller’s response, but Milla figured it was what they were going to get. Cruller was…exactly who he was. There was no changing that. “Thank you,” she said quietly, smiling at Ford again.

He stood there silently for a few moments, then slammed his hands on the counter and stared at the two of them, completely bug-eyed. “Y’know where all the psitanium is? It’s underground!” Ford said, tilting his head too far to the side to keep his balance for much longer. “You’d be surprised what’s underground in a place like this!”

The two younger Psychonauts glanced at each other again, then gave a polite goodbye to Agent Cruller before taking their leave. It was a unique reaction from him, especially considering the lack of appropriate response they usually got. It seemed that he at least understood their question, though it was hard to say whether or not his answer held any useful information. Were they the ramblings of a madman? Or was he offering them some semblance of insight from the small parts of his brain that were still functioning?

“Underground, huh?” Milla muttered, finishing up her sandwich. It was very good. Seemed like the campers would be eating just fine during their week of training.

“I suppose it’ll be worth it to keep an eye out.” Sasha only ate half of his and folded the wrapper around the rest. “Maybe there’s some sort of…cave by the water.”

She smiled and grabbed his wrapped sandwich half, unwrapping it and shoving it towards him. He never ate enough, in her opinion. She’d swear that if she didn’t remind him to eat, he could go well over a day without anything but coffee and cigarettes. That wouldn’t happen while they were alone together, that was for sure. “Maybe! You should finish this, darling. In case we find a secret underground psitanium cave and need our strength to get out.”

Sasha exhaled through his nose, but relented and continued eating. “So we’re exploring again today?” he mumbled between bites.

“That’s what I’d like to do, at least. I mean…I’ve got all my lessons planned,” she answered happily. It was always nice when he listened to her in regards to his health. Now if only she could get him to stop smoking! “Reorganized my mind so the kids can practice levitation safely. So there’s nothing else to prepare.”

“Ah.” 

He nodded and then pouted, an expression that Milla didn’t expect to see. “What’s wrong?”

“I may need to take some time and…move some things around.” He took the last bite of his sandwich and crumpled up the wrapper in his gloved hands. “Maybe we’ll head back to the cabins early.” He paused, then corrected himself. “Er, I’ll head back early. You don’t have to. Also. You can do what you want, of course.”

She smiled brightly at him. He was so cute when he stumbled over his words. “Maybe I’ll go swimming, then.”

Sasha returned her smile with a small one of his own and they got up from the picnic table outside the lodge. It was a beautiful day out and there was plenty of campground for them to check out before he needed to start on his lesson plan.

X

Their third day on the campgrounds, aka the last day before the campers arrived and the actual camp started, did not get off on the right foot.

Milla and Sasha were loudly woken up by a loud - loud, loud, loud - trumpet playing a slightly off-tune Reveille. It didn’t take a genius to know what that meant: Oleander had arrived.

Of course, he chose to arrive at six-thirty in the morning. And he had to announce his presence as loudly as possible.

Sasha wasn’t ashamed to admit that he didn’t like Morceau. He didn’t get along with the argumentative man, who was always trying to pick a fight with him over everything. He made inappropriate jokes and comments, gave him insulting nicknames for absolutely no reason, and felt the need to heckle Sasha about his personal life and personality on a regular basis. He was genuinely surprised that anyone got along with the short man, though he supposed Milla got along with everyone.

The two of them got up and took turns getting ready for the day, despite Oleander’s attempts to get them up faster. Sasha just knew that the day was not going to improve with such a loud, little man having access to the camp speaker system.

On the plus side, he didn’t have a headache anymore and his lesson plan for the campers was all ready. It also seemed that Milla didn’t have a headache anymore either, since she hadn’t mentioned it.

While eating breakfast with Milla and Morry, it hit Sasha that he was already really missing the alone time with her. Sure, it wasn’t the romantic nonsense that Morceau had joked about, but it was still very nice. He really enjoyed spending time with her where they didn’t have to worry about danger potentially lurking around every corner.

“Did you get a headache on your first night here?” Milla asked Morceau over their egg sandwiches.

“Huh?” Oleander tilted his head. “Aaronson and Whittaker complained about that, too. The four of you just need to get used to the outdoors, is all!”

Sasha disassociated while Morceau continued to talk about how much stronger and more outdoorsy he was than everyone else, and stared down at his egg sandwich. Though Ford’s cooking wasn’t bad, he was beginning to realize that the food options were quite limited. He wasn’t a man who needed a lot of variety in his life, but he couldn’t imagine eating it over and over again for an entire week. Maybe he’d have to grab some fruit before the campers arrived the next day.

“What do you think, Nein?”

Sasha was pulled back into the conversation to find both of them staring at him. He had no idea what they were just talking about and shook his head. “I didn’t catch the question.”

Oleander rolled his eyes. “See what I mean? If any of this week’s kids give us a bad review, I’m blaming it all on you!” he said, pointing a finger in Sasha’s face. “If you’re gonna screw anything up, just try to keep it small, alright?”

“...alright,” Sasha responded, standing up. He wasn’t interested in listening to insults any longer, so he decided it was a good time to look around the camp. By himself. “I’m going for a walk.”

Milla gave him an apologetic smile, almost like she somehow knew he was leaving because he didn’t want to spend too much time with Morceau. She’d heard him complain about the man enough times to come to that conclusion. “Catch up with you later?”

“Of course.” Sasha nodded at her and levitated away, decidedly towards the geodesic psychoisolation chambers in the woods. He’d meant to ask Morry about them, but didn’t have the patience for it. Maybe Milla would remember.

As he came to the structure, he noticed a strange-looking squirrel out of the corner of his eye. Sasha turned to look directly at it, but the squirrel immediately ran off - though, notably, it fell into a large tree stump. After a moment the squirrel climbed back out, looking slightly worse for wear, then it ran off in another direction.

Bored and curious, Sasha walked closer to the tree stump. He’d noticed a few of them around the camp, though they didn’t really catch his attention considering they were in the middle of the woods. When he looked inside the stump, however, it was clear that it wasn’t a normal stump. It was hollow and the hole inside was very deep. One could even say that it led to something…underground.

Sasha raised a single eyebrow at his discovery. He looked up - turned left, then right, then looked back down into the hole. It was certainly big enough for him to fit into. Though now he was wishing he’d used clairvoyance on that squirrel before it got away.

With a shrug, he decided it was worth a shot to look, so Sasha levitated himself down into the stump to see what was inside.

He didn’t expect to land on an awkwardly small rail car. Even more than that, he didn’t expect it to talk to him.

"Welcome to the Whispering Rocket Underground Rapid Transit System. Would you like to go back to your private sanctuary now, Agent Cruller? Or...somewhere else?"

Sasha stared at the device in front of his face. What the hell was he looking at, exactly? Whose voice was that? And…it specifically mentioned Agent Cruller. Did that mean this was something Ford had managed to put together in the short time he’d been living at the camp? It looked like an entire underground tunnel system.

Unsure of what else to say, Sasha cleared his throat. “Uh…to the sanctuary. Please.”

“Yes, noble Psychomaster.”

He glared, unhappy with that nickname, and held the car tight as he was suddenly pulled in a random direction. The rail car seemed to be functioning well, though Sasha was understandably nervous about the construction quality. Did Agent Cruller build this secretly or did Oleander know about it? He had so many questions.

Questions that would be followed up by even more questions, Sasha realized as the car came to a stop. He levitated out through another hollowed-out tree stump and found himself in some sort of underground laboratory - or, sanctuary, he supposed, was the word the rail car had used. The space was still very clearly under construction, but there were floating screens all around, several comfortable-looking chairs, and a pile full of psychic devices that Sasha recognized from Agent Mentallis’ lab.

It was a strange sight to behold.

“...Agent Cruller?” Sasha said, unsure of what was going on.

No one responded. He supposed it was silly to think Ford would just be waiting around when he saw him in the main lodge less than an hour earlier. The man was probably working around the campgrounds somewhere, or maybe he was-

“Sasha!”

He turned around to find Ford Cruller floating up from somewhere below, a large piece of scrap metal in his hands. “Ford. What’s going on?”

“I didn’t expect you down here so soon,” the older man answered, plopping down on the same platform as Sasha. “You get into a fight with Oleander?”

Sasha pouted slightly. “Not a fight. Just annoyed with him.” He paused for a moment, then shook his head. “Wait, no, where are we? Why are you wearing your Psychonauts uniform? Are you-?”

“Oop! I’ll be right back!” Ford interrupted, then quickly dove into the tree stump that Sasha had come out of earlier.

“I…what?” Sasha felt positively bewildered. He needed to find Milla and bring her there immediately, maybe she’d be able to shed some light on the situation. Or at the very least, offer a comforting presence while they absorbed the insanity together. He reached out to her mentally to let her know that he wanted to speak to her alone, then jumped back into the tree stump from earlier. Somehow, the rail car was still there, despite the fact that Ford seemingly exited the same way. Sasha was very, very confused.

X

It didn’t take much effort to get Morry to walk away from her. Milla let him know that she had some womanly things to take care of, and he immediately bounced away without a single question. He was truly a man’s man, she supposed.

She was very curious about whatever Sasha had found. Milla could feel that he was surprised and confused by something and she hoped it was something exciting, because the past hour of talking to Morceau about his Basic Braining mental boot camp was exhausting. She could not have been less interested in the militarized jungle gym he’d set up for the kids inside his head. It was…certainly different from what she’d planned.

She agreed to meet Sasha near the woods where they’d found the psychoisolation chambers - which she’d almost forgotten to ask Morceau about, but thankfully she had the answer. Agent Mentallis had suggested them as a fun exercise for the kids, then after they were already built, Second Head Forsythe and Grand Head Zanotto rejected the idea completely. But they were already built, and no one wanted to see all that money wasted, so Agent Mentallis promised to come and relocate the chambers whenever he had enough time and found a good space to put them back near the Motherlobe.

It wasn’t a great solution, but the campers would probably be too terrified of the chambers to mess around. Milla knew she could scare them off if she told them exactly what they were used for, but she wouldn’t do that. She never wanted to scare children.

Sasha was waiting for her near the entrance, standing next to one of the large tree stumps she’d noticed around the campgrounds.

“Morry didn’t follow you, did he?”

Milla gave him an incredulous stare. “Of course not, darling. Why would he? Did you find something bad?”

“Not bad, just…secretive. I think.” Sasha tugged at the turtleneck of his sweater. “Follow me,” he said, and then levitated down into the stump.

She leaned over to see that Sasha had completely disappeared into the darkness. That was unexpected. “Um…Sasha?”

“It’s safe,” his voice spoke, echoing slightly. “Just come down.”

Well. She trusted Sasha more than anyone, so there was no reason not to do what he said. Milla floated down slowly and after a few seconds she felt herself land in Sasha’s arms. Another unexpected development. She looked around and saw that he was sitting in a small rail car and they were in a little tunnel.

“What is this?”

Sasha grunted as he tried to adjust the way she was seated - moving her legs around to make sure they weren’t sticking out too far, if she had to guess. “Sorry, just. Give me a second.”

She could’ve helped him, but it was kind of fun to just let him move her around. It wasn’t often that Sasha initiated physical contact with her, after all.

He seemed satisfied with her positioning - she was sitting on his lap and her legs were crossed over one another, laying on top of his left leg. Her shoulder was resting against his chest and she had her hands poised politely in her lap. Sasha glanced at her, a nervous blush on his cheeks, then reached out one hand towards her hair.

After a moment of hesitation, he pulled his hand back. “You, um. You should pull your hair in front of you. Just in case.”

Milla was entertained enough by the situation to do what he said without question.

Once that was done, Sasha cleared his throat and tapped the little screen in front of them. “To the sanctuary, please.”

“Yes, noble Psychomaster.”

Not expecting such a sultry voice - or any voice at all, really - Milla let out a nervous laugh. “Darling, what in the world is going on? Where are we?”

“You’ll see in a few moments,” he said quietly, and then the rail car started to move.

Instinctively, Milla pulled her knees up towards her chest and tucked herself into the tightest ball she could. The car moved faster than she expected and she wasn’t exactly seated very securely. Thankfully, Sasha caught the hint and wrapped one hand around her legs and the other around her back, keeping hold of her.

It was very nice. She’d have to thank whoever built the tunnel system for that little moment she got to have with her partner.

Less than a minute later and it stopped. Sasha didn’t wait even a second before wrapping his hands underneath her and levitating them both out of there. They exited through a similar hollow tree stump, but found themselves in a very high-tech-looking lab. It looked almost nicer than some of the things they had at the Motherlobe.

She levitated out of Sasha’s arms and floated over to the middle of the room. “I have never been more confused.”

“There you are! And good, you brought Agent Vodello.”

The two of them turned to find Ford Cruller walking towards them from a platform on the opposite side of the room. He looked more sober and focused than either had ever seen from him before, and his presence asked just as many questions as it answered.

“Ford…” Milla said gently, floating towards him. “What’s going on?”

“My question exactly,” Sasha added.

The older man shook his head. “Sorry for rushing out on you earlier, Sasha, but I could hear Oleander thinking about getting his hands on a boat, so I felt that inescapable urge to get out there and help him. You understand, I’m sure.”

Milla stared at the man, unblinking. She did not understand at all. “You remember our names?”

“I do,” he answered, taking a deep breath. “Just down here. Surrounded by all this psitanium…it’s enough psychic energy to keep my mind together. For now, at least.”

“I thought this much psitanium exposure was dangerous for psychics.” Sasha walked along the platform, coming to a stop next to Ford. “We’ve seen that in the past, at least.”

“Yes, of course, I remember the whole situation with that Rehm fellow a few years ago,” Cruller responded absentmindedly. “But he was an untrained psychic mind, someone who didn’t even know he was psychic until he was exposed. My mind is…well, it’s not what it used to be. But it’s used to psitanium and it’s used to psychic enhancements.”

Milla wasn’t surprised to hear Lucius’ name brought up - Whispering Rock was, after all, very close to the place where he’d first been exposed to the psitanium that made him lose his mind. His accidental discovery was helpful when Oleander was looking for the right place to build the camp. “But above ground you’re still…not quite yourself.”

“That’s true. I…can’t leave this sanctuary.” Ford sighed and sat in one of the chairs. “My every free moment has been spent working on this underground chamber, trying to make it liveable and giving myself access to all the classified information I can get my hands on.”

Milla noticed Sasha staring at a pile of gadgets sitting across the way. Those probably belonged to Agent Mentallis - she wondered if Ford had stolen them, or somehow convinced his old friend to give them to him.

“This is great news, Agent Cruller,” Sasha said. “Why haven’t you told anyone yet?”

“Hmmmm,” Ford hummed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. “To be honest…I don’t think most of them will believe me. I’m just happy you two do!”

“It’s hard not to believe when you’re so much more, um…” Milla started.

“...coherent. Than usual,” Sasha added, finishing her sentence.

“Ha! That’s true.” Agent Cruller stood up and stretched, cracking his back loudly. “Oleander doesn’t know about this, alright? And I don’t want him to. He can’t keep a secret worth his life.” He scratched the top of his head. “I don’t know if the psitanium will keep me sane forever, but…so long as it does, would you two help me out with some projects?”

Milla and Sasha glanced at one another, not even needing telepathy to understand that the answer was of course.

“Excellent,” Ford responded, despite the fact that they hadn’t actually answered out loud. “And since you asked, Sasha - we’re just due north of the main lodge. Directly underneath.”

Sasha hadn’t asked anything like that, which made Milla wonder if Agent Cruller was able to read their minds so effortlessly while in his sanctuary that he didn’t even realize the telepathy was happening. It was a strange concept, though she’d certainly had moments where she couldn’t tell if Sasha was talking to her or thinking at her.

“I know you two have a lot to do, getting ready for the campers to arrive tomorrow,” Ford continued, “but I’d appreciate it if you could visit me down here sometime soon. I have some important things I’d like to discuss.”

“Of course, sir,” Sasha answered.

Milla wondered if he felt as intimidated by Ford’s commanding presence as she did. It was so strange to be talking to the Ford Cruller of legend rather than the Ford Cruller they’d gotten to know in the Motherlobe. All the stories they’d been told about him suddenly made sense, just from such a brief interaction.

“Is there anything we can do for you now?” Milla asked.

Ford shook his head. “No, I…oh. I need to go.” He suddenly rushed towards the hollow tree stump and jumped in, leaving the two active Psychonauts alone.

Milla frowned. “Maybe Morceau needed help with that boat again.”

“Perhaps,” Sasha answered, but he was already back to staring at the pile of gadgets in the corner. “These are definitely from Agent Mentallis’ lab. He was complaining to me about missing equipment just last week.”

“Ah. Well…too bad we can’t tell him where it is.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “This is a strange situation, right? This isn’t something you’ve experienced before?”

“Not at all.” Sasha stood up straight and walked closer to her. “I think I can say with absolute certainty that this is not something any Psychonaut has dealt with before.”

Milla nodded her head and took a deep breath, wondering if the extra psitanium exposure would have an immediate effect or if they’d have to wait longer to feel a difference. She felt a little lighter, maybe a bit stronger, but she also wasn’t sure if she was just imagining it. “Agent Mentallis would probably be very happy to know he was right.”

Sasha sighed and stuck his hands into his pockets. “Yes, yes he would.”