#ehehhehehehehhehehehehhehehe

[currentlyreadingawesomefanfics]

Somnolent Act One is officially complete! Stay tuned for Act Two let me know what you think of the ending and the series as a whole :]

[bedknees]

Thoughts on Dabi from MHA

Ehehhehehehehhehehehehhehehe. I am so sorry for how long this got.

Listen I'm mentally ill about Touya Todoroki. When Dabi was first introduced, I immediately needed to know more about him. Why is he horrifically burned? Why is there an air of mystery surrounding him? Why is his quirk somewhat... familiar?

The answers came, of course. Painfully slowly, but I'm glad because the narrative build up made the reveal more satisfying (it out-trended the 2020 US Presidential election 🤣). But real talk, most Dabi stans knew rather early on before the reveal that he was almost certainly Touya. Some people that became accustomed to Hollywood making twists as unpredictable as possible (to the point it hurts the story more than helps, but that's a topic for another day) thought that the "Dabi Todoroki" twist would be letdown because of how obvious it was.

And first things first: Dabi's identity reveal as Touya Todoroki is NOT a twist. It's just a necessary component of his arc. Every bit of his story was leading up to the reveal. The pieces were just waiting to be assembled by Horikoshi when the time was right. The reveal proved to be not any less impactful.

Okay, so with that aside, Dabi/Touya means a lot to me. Dabi represents the horrific trauma I experienced from a father who put himself first. He perfectly illustrates how even if said father is willing to change for the better, the damage he has inflicted will not just go away and be righted.

Because I was the oldest child, too. Because I was slowly and painfully shown indifference when it became clear I had physical shortcomings. When it was wrongfully determined I wasn't "good enough". Touya represents the dread, the terror, the despair I experienced because of all the rejection and abuse.

Dabi represents an embittered, suicidal, rage-fueled version of myself that could have easily surfaced and took over if I didn't have a better support system. Dabi represents me truly attempting to form a meaningful relationship with my dad after running away, years later, only to find my own brother being abused in a horribly ironic echo of the past (though my own brother is more like Natsuo than Shouto). Nothing changed. The cycle continues. No amount of love can change that.

My dad may be a much better person now. Endeavor may have had genuine character development and now seeks redemption. Neither of these statements changes anything. Being a good person now does not take away the awful things you have done in the past. It does not make you entitled to forgiveness. Making strides to be a good person is difficult and admirable, but it should never ever be a tool of absolution.

Abused kids should never have to forgive their parents out of obligation, no matter how good they are now.

In the end, Touya/Dabi highlights my own struggles. He is almost like a vindication of my pain; how his entire narrative deconstructs Endeavor's redemption arc. I would never, say, murder 30+ people, but the progression of his story makes it easy to understand why he is the way he is presently. Dabi should not be excused of his crimes and deserves to be held accountable, but he is a decidedly tragic character that is a direct result of the failings of Hero society.

I want with everything for Touya to be given another chance. A chance to reconnect with the other members of his family that love him. To see that he is cared for and remembered fondly. To reconnect with Natsuo and see just how broken he was over his "death".

I love Touya so much. I would do anything for him to make it out of this, even if it is behind bars.

Thanks for sending me this ask, Fleur!!!!