phantom-ellie · 2 years ago
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Mary's Father's House doesn't HAVE a Basement, Stede
Click here for CWs/Full Chapter List
Prompt: Bike Ride
Modern AU: Cursed SMAU by beabonnet29.
Kidnapping Alma
Demon encounter at motel
"Let's go faster, Ed"
"Hey Al, need your help"
"Demon daddy's got you, boo"
"Rhombus, there you go"
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"What is that," Stede asks
"I'm a loner, Stedie,
A rebel," says Ed
They get on the bike
"Rhombus," take off, to the skies
Baby-napping time
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phantom-ellie · 2 years ago
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Elegy for a Desk
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Prompt: Careful
Modern AU: Breaking the News by @stedecore on Twitter.
Ed brushed his lips against Stede's cheek, And kissed him just under his ear, The surface below was not antique, A snap and crunch below his rear And thus realized our greatest fear
Elegy for a desk, crushed under the mass Of two men committing an HR violation The sturdy staple broke like glass In an empty room that addressed a nation After the president's untimely assassination
Elegy for a desk, just minding its own business Unfortunate victim of a queer endeavor We cart you to the the landfill while begging forgiveness For two horny gay men who will clearly just fuck wherever May you rest in pieces forever
Chapter 10
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phantom-ellie · 2 years ago
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The Present
Click here for CWs/Full Chapter List
Prompt: Snowy Cabin
Summary: Ed is making Stede a present. What is it?
Modern AU: Snowed in
inside the cabin the blond man wants to see what his love is making as his love crochets he dreams of soft sweaters in from the snow and the cold, but he should have knows that Edward has other ideas each day a surprise melting, but together adventures in navel sitting dastardly secrets of an esoteric nature, that is Stede is the only one to appreciate Ed's art ever watching the crochet hook do you want to know, Ed asks with a grin and Stede nods, knowing that, damnation take it all it won't be shared what Ed crochets until it is done, so kindly fuck off, mate
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phantom-ellie · 2 years ago
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List of Works/Links
Hi all! Here is any information you might want to know such as links to other social media and a list of works. All works are also available on ao3. If any links don't work, please check out my ao3 instead. Fics there are organized into the same series they are here.
Links:
My Linktree
Note: Chapter fics have a special tag that goes with each one so you can find them that way if you don't want to click through here.
This fanfiction is tagged with the assumption that you have watched the show Our Flag Means Death and are okay with the canon content. All fics are tagged for triggers beyond what is shown in the original show. For example, I will not be tagging fics for swearing and alcohol use because the original show has plenty of it.
Golden Age of Piracy Series:
These are stand-alone fics that take place in the OFMD canon universe.
Temet Nosce (#ellie tn): Summary: A Stede Bonnet character study/reunion fic that explores the frequent references in the show to Stede being someone less than human. Stream of consciousness writing with a surrealist bent. 7 chapters, 14k words, complete. Content Warnings: The same kind/level of language and violence as seen on the show, no more or less.
The Man who has Never Felt Anything (#ellie mwnfa): Summary: Stream of consciousness Stede POV of being stabbed in episode 3 and episode 4. Created for #Whumptober2022 and #ofmdskeletoncrew. 4 chapters, 2.5k words. Content Warnings: The same kind/level of language and violence as seen on the show, no more or less.
The Man who Forgot (#ellie mwf): Summary: Ed POV Stream of Consciousness about forgetting to get Stede down from the mast, and the aftermath. A close to a portrayal about thinking with ADHD as I can get. Content Warnings: The same kind/level of language and violence as seen on the show, no more or less.
The Full Experience: Summary: Based on a post by @snake-snack-stede,​ Black Pete learns what Blackbeard did to Lucius and does not react as expected. Content Warnings: The same kind/level of language and violence as seen on the show, no more or less.
To Wit: Macarena!: Summary: Crack one-shot. Ed teaches Stede the Macarena. Things go exactly as planned. 1.6k words. Content Warnings: The same kind/level of language and violence as seen on the show, no more or less.
Modern AU Series:
These are my stand-alone fics that take place in a Modern AU.
Apologetics: Summary: Based on the pina coladas SMAU by @faeeebaeee. Takes place in 1987 after Stede chose Mary. Stede POV. 1k words. Content Warnings: None
The Art of (Smashing) Crockery (#ellie aosc): Summary: Modern AU where Ed owns a rage room and Stede has a lot to rage about. 30 chapters, 58k words, complete. Content Warnings: Homophobia/Bullying/Slurs (from Badmintons/Stede's father), Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Alcohol Abuse, Hospitalisation, Mental Illness
Slowvember 2022: Black Pandather: WaPandas Forever: Pandas (The Art of Smashing Crockery) Voicemail Fail: Lazy River (Doubt Thou the Stars) Stede's Friends Make Better Floral Choices Challenge: Flowers (a little louder) Room People: Lazy Sunday (The Vacation) Pick your Own Fruit (As long as it's Stede): Pick Your Own Fruit (Mismatched) the tastiest of nuts: Farmer’s Market (The Camera Loves You, Baby) If the Kraken aint happy, aint Nobody’s Happy - Beach Day (The Legend of Blackbeard) Emergency Contact: Sickfic/Nursing a Boo-Boo (like ghosts to trouble heaven)
Let Me Solo Him!
An adaptation of the Scott Pilgrim comics. Stede returns to the Revenge and discovers that he must defeat each of Ed's pirate ex-boyfriends in order to be with him forever. 6 parts.
Full Series List Volume 1: Stede Bonnet's Precious Little Life Volume 2: Stede Bonnet vs the World Volume 3: Stede Bonnet & the Infinite Sadness Volume 4: Stede Bonnet Gets it Together Volume 5: Stede Bonnet vs the Universe Volume 6: Stede Bonnet's Finest Hour Tag: ellie lmsh
Our Flag Means Stupid Bad Sex:
This series of ficlets take kinks from prompt lists and makes them as unsexy/stupid as possible.
Our Flag Means Stupid Bad Sex - Thread with list of all chapters, kinks, and pairings. Tag: #ellie stupid bad sex
OFMD Poetry:
I like to experiment with poetry. Here are all of my poems:
Poetry Work List Tag: #ellie ofmd poetry
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phantom-ellie · 2 years ago
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List of Works and Links
I’m reorganizing my works to be more accessible on Tumblr, I didn’t really realize how Tumblr worked when I first started posting here.
Stand-alone fics that are not part of a monthly challenge will be linked directly below. Monthly Prompt Challenges will be given their own threads linked below as well so I’m not spamming this post with tons of tiny ficlets.
But first, Links:
Ao3 (all fics posted there first): Filthy_Phantom_Ellie
Twitter: Phantom_Ellie
OFMD Decembverse Challenge
Fics below are grouped by series. They can also be found in identical series on ao3.
Golden Age of Piracy Series:
These are my stand-alone fics that take place in the show’s canon universe and are not part of a prompt challenge:
Temet Nosce: Surrealist stream-of-consciousness Stede character study. 7 chapters, 14k words.
The Man who has Never Felt Anything: Stream of consciousness Stede POV of being stabbed in episode 3 and episode 4. Created for #Whumptober2022 and #ofmdskeletoncrew. 4 chapters, 2.5k words.
The Man who Forgot: Ed POV Stream of Consciousness about forgetting to get Stede down from the mast, and the aftermath. A close to a portrayal about thinking with ADHD as I can get.
The Full Experience: Based on a post by @snake-snack-stede,​ Black Pete learns what Blackbeard did to Lucius and does not react as expected.
To Wit: Macarena!: Crack one-shot. Ed teaches Stede the Macarena. 1.6k words.
Modern AU Series:
These are my stand-alone fics that take place in a Modern AU.
Apologetics: Based on  piña coladas SMAU by @faeeebaeee. Takes place in 1987 after Stede chose Mary. Stede POV. 1k words.
The Art of (Smashing) Crockery: Modern AU where Ed owns a rage room and Stede has a lot to rage about.
The Lovers, the Dreamers, and Swede: Swede-centric Modern AU where Swede is part of an environmental group that dabbles in eco-terrorism. Unfinished, on hiatus until I finish a few other fics.
Our Flag Means Stupid Bad Sex:
Kinktober 2022 series where I make each prompt as unsexy as humanly possible. Crack.
Slowvember 2022:
Fluffy/silly prompts for Slowvember. All prompts use modern AU Stede/Ed from various universes/fan works.
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phantom-ellie · 2 years ago
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Immortality
Challenge: Slowvember 2022 Prompt: Porch Swings and Lemonade
Modern AU: A poem for Stede and Ed from Liquid Gold three decades in the future, still in love
The hand moves down the leather, from shoulder to knee, A hand cracked with time, love, a year or thirty The other in return over corduroy, carefree And that’s how they pass the time on the porch swing
Decades of smiling high, fireflies abounding Joyful, easy presence, feel the wood, grounding The hands are clasped together, still tingly and astounding And that’s how they pass the time on the porch swing
Lemonade and honeybees and wildflowers and wonder Septuagenarian but enduring, tenderness and thunder Adventure dreams, about wild things, like piracy and plunder And that’s how they pass the time on the porch swing
Curls blowing in the breeze, that cloud is a swollen heart Old farts, counterparts, laughter lines like a naval chart Spared from that feared fate, their memories state of the art And that’s how they pass the time on the porch swing
End ahead, they’ll never die, their reverie is forever To pass from one universe to next, an amorous endeavor Their love, their passion, honey-sweet, which age cannot sever And that’s how they pass the time on the porch swing
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phantom-ellie · 2 years ago
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Black Pandather: WaPandas Forever
Challenge: Slowvember 2022 Prompt: Pandas Modern AU: The Art of (Smashing) Crockery by me.
"Which one are you?"
"I'll be that one."
"That one? The other one is cooler."
"Which is which?"
"Fuck if I know mate, I don't mean to sound racist but they all look the same to me." Ed squints into the panda habitat. "Seriously, they could be clones. Clone pandas."
"Ed! Shush! They'll hear you!"
"They don't speak English, mate. If anything, they speak Japanese."
Stede huffs and holds up his phone to take pictures of Ri Ri and Shin Shin... or is it Shin Shin and Ri Ri? Ed has a point. They may be the most popular attraction at the Ueno zoo in Tokyo, but there is still a dearth of labels around to give tourists more info.
Stede nudges Ed with his shoulder and smiles. "I never thought I'd get to see a panda in real life. This is amazing!"
"You think everything in Japan is amazing." Ed chuckles.
"And you don't? Ed, there's actual vegetation here, the foliage is insane! And the flowers! And people actually pick up trash! And the food!"
"Yeah Stede, I noticed you liked the food. I thought the chef at the restaurant was going to clobber you if you said 'oishii desu' one more fuckin' time."
"It's a compliment! It's the only thing I know how to say." Stede pouts, but it isn't a real pout, just one of those fake ones he does because he knows Ed finds it cute.
Ed puts his hands in his pockets. "It's too bad pandas are so bad at having babies. Would be nice to see some baby pandas out and about."
Stede squints at Ed. "Why can't they have babies?"
"I dunno, something about shrinking habitat, the pandas just don't do it with each other. Probably because they look alike, who wants to fuck someone who looks just like you? Narcissists, I bet. I bet pandas aren't narcissists."
Stede crouches down with determination and calls into the habitat.
"Hey, you two! Why don't you get to know each other? Oi! Hey! Hey panda!"
Ed covers his face with his arm, giggling.
"Go and have a chat to that guy! Hey you two... get hot and heavy tonight! See what happens. See what goes down."
"Stop, mate, you're gonna get us kicked out," Ed laughs, pulling Stede into a standing position.
Stede shrugs. "It was worth a shot? I don't seem to have problems getting laid lately, thought they could use some encouragement."
Ed pulls Stede in for a side-hug. His stomach growls.
"Well, this is great and all, but I think I need to get some lunch before the hanger sets in." He looks around for a food stand. Stede tugs on his arm gently.
"Hey, Ed?"
"Yeah, love?"
"Is there another way to say 'delicious' in Japanese?"
"I don't fuckin' know, do I look like I speak-" he jumps as Stede gooses the fuck out of him in public.
"Stede, what was that for-"
"Oishii desu," Stede replies, flinging his sweater over his shoulder and marching off to embarrass Ed in some other way in the near future.
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