#ofmd modern au

[mundayme]

steddyhands at the airport

-

stede and ed are happy that everything eventually worked out and izzy realizes that he doesn't mind holding hands in public anymore

[thym3y]

i ❤️ old man yaoi

[xray-vex]

Meteorologist Ed Teach: "Izzy, look at the weather radar here - that storm front. Does that look like ---"

[lambdraws]

Snapshot

[rimbaudofficial]

modern (Ouizzy) Izzy headcanons

he's divorced from Ed, and the marriage was terrible at the end. Ed, of course, ended the marriage by cheating with Stede and ultimately leaving Izzy for him. there was abuse, as is canon.

he's trans (obviously). he transitioned very young, before high school and before meeting Ed. he gets top surgery as soon as he can afford it, and a metoidioplasty sometime in the early 2000s.

he smokes, though Frenchie gets him to quit sooner or later after they get together.

he's a masochist, but it takes him a while to ask Frenchie for pain because he's convinced Frenchie won't like giving it.

he has a very nice and very old well-cared-for leather jacket he wears every single day. his boots are similarly ancient and treasured.

the longer he's with Frenchie, the more he replaces his silver body jewelry with gold, which Frenchie insists suits him better, and his black clothes with earth tones, which is also something Frenchie insists is better. the ancient black leather jacket never changes, though.

he likes Adventure Time. why and how this came about I cannot say.

his dog, Princess Bubblegum, is his ride or die.

he's a scorpio, to Frenchie's endless amusement.

he doesn't wear cologne, but his soap is pine-tar. because of sensitivity to its ingredients and also Frenchie's encouragement, he eventually gives up on pomade and grows his hair out a little. there are ponytails.

[thehappyfeminist-22]

I have no idea what corner of my brain this idea crawled out of, but it won't leave me alone, so here it is.

A modern AU where Ed and Stede go to a Halloween party or maybe they're both hard-core Hobbit fans and they go to a convention, but either way, they cosplay as Thorin and Bilbo.

I mean, hear me out...

[bloomeng]

no one asked but i have many thoughts on what steddy hands would watch on tv

Ed is the type to watch whatever is on, the prime consumer of shitty daytime television, loves soap operas and he goes around updating everyone on what happened (he’s been banned from watching jackass tho, had to sneak over to jack’s to watch it) also is a big fan of Ridiculousness

Stede is a pbs enjoyer, a food network connoisseur, and an hgtv fiend (Ed gets concerned when he catches Stede watching Fixer Upper— which Stede simply calls “Chip and Joanna”— bc that means he gonna start trying his own home improvement projects) he also likes a good sitcom and game show (he got Izzy into Jeopardy and now they compete)

Izzy doesn’t watch much but he did watch Breaking Bad as it was coming out and because it was really the only thing he watched that meant Stede and Ed would have to give up the tv to let him watch it (they would stay to watch with him and would grow increasingly alarmed meanwhile Izzy just sits there in silence only occasionally laughing at scenes like the bathtub scene or whispering under his breathe “fucking stupid” then after the episode is over he just gets up and leaves Ed and Stede on the couch baffled— ofc they’re all sucked into the show by the end but Stede stands firm that he hates all the characters)

[ally-b-art]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! I finished drawtober!! Im so proud of myself, this is my first time finishing a art month challenge like this ❤️

I'll probably take a few days off from posting to finish a few non art things I've been neglecting and then I'll be back at it, most likely with more Izzy (and maybe some other stuff)!

[antony-art]

Modern AU Izzy Hands, inspired by Con O'neil as Cliff Costello in Cucumber (2015).

[con-clavi-con-jae]

Our Flag Means Death modern AU where the crew of the Revenge is a DnD party, and Stede is their (sort of competent) DM. Most of his campaigns are silly and fun, and the crew is sort of torn on it. Most of them expected something dark, but ended up loving it (and Jim discovered that they're nonbinary through playing)

Ed was in another table at the same place the crew played, along with Izzy, Ivan and Fang (and Jack at some point but he left because nobody liked him lmao). Most of their campaigns are dark and gruesome, and Ed is fucking bored of it, but he stays because Izzy is his best friend. By coincidences of life, Izzy meets Stede and sees his silly little campaign, so when he goes back he's all like gossiping about it with Fang and Ivan, and Ed hears about it, so he immediately tries to talk to Stede and join his campaign (and ropes Izzy into it as well because why not)

Cue Ed very clumsily flirting with Stede (and Stede finding out that he's insanely gay because of it)

[buumbaby]

Glam Date

[nunsongici]

New autumn fits✨☺️ continuation to this post

[sophiasoelberg]

Happy New Year!!🎉🎆✨️🏴‍☠️

[queers-ahoy]

ket's 2023 favorite fanfiction reads!

here ye here ye! come one come all to hear about my Favorite Fics of 2023! A surprising number of these aren't even complete, but isn't that just how the cookie crumbles sometimes. I highly recommend all of these, completed or not! Most are Gentlebeard, but the last two are little wildcards! Fics that had their word count marked with an asterisk are incomplete.

Once Upon a Summer in San Francisco by samwise | E | 209k*

A charming and thrilling AU set in San Francisco in 1978. Ed, a career drug dealer, meets Stede during a music festival after getting drugged by his office co-workers. They become intertwined in a relationship that puts both of them in new territory. I think my favorite part of this fic is all of the music and fashion references, as well as how all the crew members (and others!) are woven into the story. All the side relationships are adorable, and Stede and Mary have an ADORABLE friendship that I can't get enough of.

2. In Favor With Their Stars by @mxmollusca | M | ~62k

This fic was my introduction to sci-fi AUs in this fandom! It's a gripping story that follows Ed, an engineer who finds himself awoken early from cryostasis on an "interplanetary research vessel" travelling to Jupiter's moon, Europa. Ed soon discovers that the ship's artificial intelligence, STE/DE, is likely sentient. Chaos and love ensues as they spend several months together, flying through the void. This story is uniquely multi-media, told through prose, code, poetry, audio transcripts, and even music!

3. Famine and Feast by zemph147 (@gaypiratebrainrot) | E | ~19k

This fic is a HILARIOUS and fascinating modern AU where Ed is the owner and head chef of his fine dining restaurant, Blackbeard. He finds himself full of renewed passion for his craft after tasting the menu of The Revenge, a new food truck owned by one Stede Bonnet. As someone who works in a kitchen and LOVES any media about food, this fic really indulged me. The description of every dish had my mouth watering!

4. Kalahari Down by @oatmilktruther | E | 31k*

Kalahari Down is a wild and stylized fic, written from Ed's pov as a 19 year old rancher working in Montana on Bonnet Ranch. When Stede returns home from boarding school, the two boys find themselves whipped up into a Brokeback Mountain-esque romance. However, canon-typical miscommunications make their journey a rocky one. This fic is INSANE in the way that it's written, and absolutely must be read in a southern accent (or at least, that's how I have to read it in my head :3). The series is smartly inspired by the eponymous album by Orville Peck, Bronco. Each chapter takes the name of a song written by him, and the vibes certainly shine through. It's hard to say since it's yet to be completed, but it's certainly lining up to be one of my favorite ofmd fics of all time.

5. Fine Wires by Nospaceforjack, ThePirateRoo | E | ~114k

Set in London, 1887, this fic follows the meeting of Blackbeard, the infamous burglar, and The Gentleman Thief, new to a life of crime. The two men are quickly charmed by each other, but their relationship becomes caught in the clutches of the law chasing them as well as Stede's need to prove himself. This story is charming in aesthetic, originally an AMAU, and is told through collages of images, letters, composed ambient music, as well as prose. The setting really comes to life with the mixture of multimedia content along with amazing description.

6. Liquid Gold by @perkynurples | M | ~79k

This is another modern AU that was originally an SMAU! Stede returns to his family's summer home in following his divorce from Mary in an attempt to reconnect with himself. He takes to beekeeping, a hobby his mother enjoyed in his youth, and it soon connects him to resident beekeeper, Edward Teach. They become swept into a honey sweet relationship where they uncover more mysteries than they ever expected to. This fic is ADORABLE as much as it is captivating, and as a beekeeper myself, this fic holds a special place in my heart <3

7. not pickles by smallestchurch | E | ~83k

Yay another modern AU! This one is an Ed pov, and really focuses on Ed's progression through his mental health struggles and such. Ed and Stede live in the same apartment building, and Ed finds himself pulled into Stede's adorable family, whether he likes it or not (he does). There's plenty of adorable Alma/Louis content in this one, and Ed is no surprise GREAT with kids. It's heartwarming, gut-wrenching, and tear-jerking all in one! Total triple threat.

8. the knife and the throat by darcylindbergh (@forpiratereasons) | E | ~35k*

This is a post-s1 canon fix-it fic that is just SWARMING with all kinds of delicious angst. After Stede fights to reunite with Ed, he finds that healing their relationship won't be nearly as easy as the gut wound he's given when he tries. This fic alternates pov, but I'm especially entranced by the way Ed is written in particular. This fic hasn't been updated in a while, but the author told me that they hope to complete it eventually! Finished or not, it's a great read.

9. if i was pure, you know i would by bitethehands | E | ~2k

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat! This fic is a delicious body horror one-shot where Izzy is immortal and Kraken era Blackbeard finds that *fascinating.* It's gruesome and horrifying and so well-written.

10. bend over, doll (it's all a game) by Sweveris | E | ~91k

Modern AU with a sick twist! Edward is the leader of a crime ring and married to Stede Bonnet. Ed is quick to discover that his husband is less than faithful, but decides to play along for a while, just to see where it goes. Everyone in this fic is TERRIBLE and it's AMAZING. I usually hate fics with Calico Jack in them, but somehow this one coaxed me into reading full chapters from his pov. There's also some really yummy Stizzy content that simmers throughout.

//And that's that! I have plenty of honorable mentions that I'll probably add soon, especially if people want more recommendations! Happy New Year, and here's to many lovely fics in 2024!

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

do you have like. a dream modern au for ofmd?

Oh my god, okay.

Disclaimer: the credit for the initial idea goes to my mum. I just built on it.

See this? This is a fragment of the riverside of Wisła, or Vistula if you're being fancy, as seen in Warsaw, Poland. It's been renovated over the years, and now it's bustling with activity throughout the warmer months, filled with restaurants, cafes, bars and beach clubs.

Now, picture this: Blackbeard's Bar & Grill, the trendiest eatery in the entire city. An upscale place, with a menu thought up by Edek, a mad genius. The way he combines his ingredients shouldn't work but it does.

So Ed's bar has been growing in popularity, but frankly? He's over it. And it would've been easy for him to walk out if it wasn't for the fact that the manager for the joint is his boy best friend/soulmate/bitter ex/beloved husband Iz (short for Izydor) and for some reason he doesn't like to think about too hard, Ed just can't bring himself to talk honestly to Iz about what he wants, possibly disappointing him, and the alternatives to their current lifestyle.

Enter Stede. Yes, Stede. He's from abroad, his mother was Polish. He's in the middle of a midlife crisis, and now, having ditched his bitch wife and kids, he decided what better to do now that he's up ended his whole life, than move to his motherland and open a shoddy little cafe at the riverside in Warsaw. Armed with a lot of money and even more enthusiasm, he collects a ragtag crew of employees, and soon Stede's is open for business! And the bar right next to it seems to be very popular...

I love this AU because there's just so much that could be done with it, even tho it's so specific. It could be Steddyhands, because Stede eats something he thinks was made by Ed and he loves it, but it turns out it was one of the rare occasions when Izzy goes inside the bar kitchen and actually cooks something. Cue lots and lots of misunderstandings, fanboy Stede, Ed who can't help falling for this new freak, Stede's appreciation for Iz waking up the long dormant feelings Ed has had for him, Izzy simply not dealing well with the attention and praise, and definitely crew employee shenanigans.

It could be the classic Blackbonnet because maybe Stede's enthusiasm for gastronomy reignites Ed's and they open a brand new restaurant together, or maybe they retire with Stede's inheritance and Ed's bar money.

It could be Gentlehands because Iz's no nonsense attitude is a reality check for Stede, maybe he helps Stede's cafe through a particularly big crisis, and throughout nightly meetings over business plans and sample menus they could find that they actually get along really well, and maybe there's an especially wine-heavy night that ends with both of them ending up in the same bed...

Finally, it could be Edizzy, because Stede's presence and his flourishing business could have Izzy go into panic mode about how they're going to cope if his café gets more popular than the bar&grill. This could prompt the two to finally Talk It Through, finding out that maybe, just maybe, they love each other and at the end of the day what really matters is that they're together. Maybe Ed, with his newfound appreciation of Iz could finally actually tell him how he feels, and then weee #divorcecancelled

Finally, it could be any and all flavours of Izzy x The Crew, because they see Izzy for the first time and immediately get the Wants To Fuck That Old Man disease. And brother? It's terminal.

Hehe :3c

[lobotomy-jpeg]

Kitchen's haunted!

A new member is added to the household(s) in @captain-athos ' latest installment of the Butler Au !

I would protect Nawal with my life

Read Poltergeist here!💛

[id: Digital sketches of Izzy and Roach from OFMD, both holding a grey kitten w little spots on her fur. It's a modern au. Roach is wearing a green shirt that says NUTS FEED MILLIONS and you can see his tattoos and amulet in the picture. He is grinning widely at the kitten he is holding up. On the right, Izzy is dressed in a white button up, sleeves held by sleeve garters. He is softly smiling at the kitten he has picked up. /end id]