#ello guvner

[theexodvs]

Buc-ee's key lime fudge tastes so limey, it said to me, "Oi, guv'nor."

[awesomehoggirl]

trixie mattel on the great british bake off: You may know me from my Easy Bake oven videos but today I'm graduating to a big girl oven in the BAKE OFF TENT! 'Ello guvner! For my signature bake I'm whipping up a fierce focaccia with some OH HONEY glazing... with rose flavouring and some pink food dye I'm hoping to transform this sad beige dough into a beautiful carbohydrate rendition of the FABULOUS Trixie Motel in Palm Springs! Let's get into it!

katya on bake off: I'm making open-faced Russian tea sandwiches just like my babushka used to make while myself and all fifteen of my cousins toiled on the flat grey fields of our beet farm. It was a former kolkhoz and we lived at once collectively and as serfs -- a potent reminder of the follies of the Soviet era and its repetitive failures in agricultural policy. When babushka had finished with the sandwiches she had us sit in neat lines of eight down our long wooden table and then she would gobble them up in front of us as we cried and cried. We were hungry and our young hands were broken but she had no mercy. She seemed to swallow them whole as if inhabited by void

[weeklyhumorist]

Other Times Meghan Markle Has Broken Royal Protocol

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Meghan Markle has caused a stir by breaking royal protocol many times including not wearing panty hose, baring her shoulders for royal events, and most recently touching her husband’s arm in public.

Here are some other, less reported faux pas:

She has put ketchup on her fish and chips, but not even in a small pile at the corner of the plate like a civilized person, she draped it over every single chip like a cretin.

She is known to address people with the Three Stooges “Hello, Hello, Hello” song.

She rooted for the car that killed Matthew on Downton Abbey.

She’s called it “Downtown Abbey”.

She’s openly admitted to loving Ringo.

She completely disregards the Oxford Comma.

She was heard saying she prefers Kirk to Picard.

Royal women are expected to sit with the ‘dutches slant,’ (knees touching, legs crossed at the ankle) however, Markle is a known manspreader.

She swapped the Queen’s purse with a penny-filled Charlie’s Angel’s lunchbox when the Queen was distracted.

She distracted the Queen herself with her ventriloquism skills, making Prince Charles appear to say “‘ELLO GUVNER”.

Allowed Prince Harry’s hand to touch hers publicly, then made a circle with her pointer finger and thumb and thrust her other pointer finger through the hole while uttering a guttural “oh yeahhhh”.

Ignoring the ‘no shellfish’ protocol, Markle has gone to the endless shrimp event at Red Lobster and went so far as to shove cheese biscuits in her clutch.

She called the Queen’s beloved corgis “Squashed Boxy Foxes”

Other Times Meghan Markle Has Broken Royal Protocol was originally published on Weekly Humorist

[naenaenoodle]

Aye matey! ;)

Ello Guvner