okay I know you said you could talk about girl dad Jake all day long soooooo I come back with thoughts...
jacob taking his daughter to get her ears pierced bc she "wants to be pretty" and he holds her when it's her turn with the piercer
Jacob running outside with his little girl on a snow day to build snowmen and compare sizes of their snow angels
taking his baby girl on set to show her off to all his castmates
Taking his little girl to the library for the first time because she's been running over and taking interest in his books whenever he's reading alone so he has to get her some more
Jacob taking his daughter as his date to her first red carpet for one of his movies!!
I hope these are good about distracting you <3333
taking her as his date for one of his movie premieres 😭😭😭 oh that's so CUUTTEEEEE i'll cry he's such a girldad
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Saltburn: A Ticket to the 'Why Did I Even Bother' Zone, or How I Nearly Aged Prematurely
reading time: 4 min.
"We’re all about to lose our minds," I muttered. The cold wind swept through the deserted street as I stood before the old cinema in my hometown, its faded sign barely discernible against the dimming evening sky. Leaning against the cracked concrete wall, I stared blankly at the poster on the entrance, announcing the latest blockbuster. "But wait, the movie's already been out for four months," I thought to myself, hardly surprised they hadn't taken it down yet.
The poster showcased a kaleidoscopic image of the cast from "Saltburn," the latest film by Emerald Fennel, a renowned director known for her previous work, "Promising Young Women." Despite the dramatic display, my gaze remained disinterested, unimpressed by yet another Hollywood spectacle. It visually reminded me of "Everything Everywhere All at Once," a film I appreciate along with the poster's artist, James Jean. However, as I scrutinized the poster, my mind wandered, unraveling the film's plot with a critical eye. Each scene played out in my imagination, increasingly clichéd, as I mentally dissected the storyline and characters. With a resigned sigh, I pushed away from the wall, already thinking of watching the movie on my laptop from some available sites in the comfort of my home.
Saltburn, a film delving into a pathetic obsession with identity or just another narrative exploiting the eat-the-rich trope? I doubt this movie will capture your interest, despite its stunning filtered visuals reminiscent of "Call Me by Your Name" and a talented cast. The movie's narrative is obscured by an atrocious font, which would saltburn(ed) even your eyes. In one scene, we witness the main character, Oliver Quick (played by Barry Keoghan), discussing his relationship with Felix Catton (portrayed by Jacob Elrodi). Oliver, a walking conflicted contradiction, professes his love for Felix while simultaneously denying being in love with him.
We're introduced to Oliver's one-sided obsession with Felix at Oxford in 2006. As the story unfolds, Oliver becomes increasingly desperate to get close to Felix, fabricating a tragic backstory to maintain his proximity. He even hooks up with Felix's girlfriend in an attempt to further infiltrate Felix's life. When both Felix and his girlfriend become wary of Oliver's fake poverty act and clinginess, Oliver manipulates Felix by feigning his father's death, eliciting pity. The movie portrays Felix as a wealthy, naive individual from a long line of affluent families, suggesting that he may attempt to rescue Oliver from his fabricated misery. This leads to Felix inviting Oliver to their Saltburn Estate for the summer.
During Oliver's stay, his obsessions lead to erratic and messy behavior. He begins to exert control over Venetia (Alison Oliver), Felix's sister, by flirting with her and showing his not-so-twilight-Saga-Edward-Cullen vampiric tendencies. Let’s just say, this behavior doesn't sit well with Felix nor Farleigh (Archie Madekwe), the Catton siblings’ cousin, who witnesses Oliver's nightly activities and then shares them with Felix. Oliver manipulates multiple members of the Catton family, including persuading Lady Elspeth (Rosamunde Pike) to believe false accusations against her friend Pamela (Carey Mulligan). When Oliver confronts Farleigh, he threatens him with banishment, but ends up engaging in giving Farleigh a handjob. But hey, do not ask me why suddenly Oliver thought that would be the most effective way to threaten Farleigh. In the end, both characters are sent away from the estate. However, Felix eventually discovers Oliver's lies, leading to Oliver hitting rock bottom. The movie fails to adequately showcase Felix's realization of Oliver's lies, making the plot twist unexpected but ultimately nonsensical.
Oliver's psychotic breakdown culminates in him killing Felix in the estate's garden maze on Oliver's birthday. Unable to be with Felix, Oliver adopts his identity and proceeds to eliminate all members of the Catton family. He orchestrates the deaths of Venetia and Lady Elspeth, manipulating them into suicide and murdering Lady Elspeth on her deathbed. Sir James (Richard E. Grant) dies after Oliver's departure from the estate, following the killings of the Catton siblings. Towards the movie's end, Oliver confronts Elspeth, ultimately taking over the estate and obtaining all its assets. The director's choice to reveal Oliver's entire plan near the end seems unnecessary, as the audience is already aware of his obsessive nature from the beginning. I think having been spoon-fed this plan of his wouldn’t change anything we were already aware of, hence the uselessness of this scene. Additionally, the portrayal of Oliver's depraved mind through graphic scenes, like his bathtub snack time or the grave scene, feels gratuitous and fails to add depth to his character. While these scenes generated attention on platforms like TikTok and other social media, they didn't effectively convey Oliver's uncontrollable obsession and desire, meaning instead of creating such useless scenes focus on the uncontrolled-individual-with-undeveloped-two-dimensional-personality that was portrayed there. The fame this movie received on social media, underscores a lack of understanding among mainstream audiences regarding the level of cinematic gore depicted in certain films. As evidence, you should not even dare look up the summary of the plot to "Titane" by Julia Ducournau.
Overall, I'd give this movie a 2 out of 5 stars. While it touches on themes of desire and obsession, the execution falls short. Despite some memorable moments like Jacob Elordi smoking and Archie Madekewe singing Pet Shop Boys' “Rent,”, which is cinema on its own, the film largely feels like a two-hour agony. I won't be watching movies from our old cinema again; the disappointment in modern filmmaking isn't worth the wrinkles on my forehead. For this portrayal of British classicism in the 2000s, I recommend streaming the movie on Amazon Prime Video.
category: Film, Culture, Psychological Thriller Drama
rating: ⭐⭐/ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
written by Michaela Kaczorová
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