Regina: I hate you.
Emma: *in her head* Enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words.
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Ruby: I dare Emma to prank call her mom.
Emma taking her phone out: Pftt thats it? Siri call mom.
Siri: *Calling 'Mommy'*
Emma: no no no no
*Regina's phone rings*
Ruby:
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Emma: My kink is doing stupid shit and watching Regina speed run the five stages of grief as she realises she still wants to fuck me
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Emma: Whenever Regina gets mad at me, I tighten all the lids on the jars so she has to ask me for help
[sounds of glass shattering in the background]
Emma: It hasn't worked yet but it will.
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Regina to Sidney: Emma Swan is going to be a problem. I can't stand her, she's going to take my son away from me.
Meanwhile Emma: *writing and kicking her feet in the air* Dear Diary, Regina smiled at me today.
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REGINA: Hey, I was able to raise a fully functional kid!
EMMA: *looks at Henry*
EMMA: *turns back to Regina*
EMMA (CONFUSED): You have a kid that I don't know about?
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*Emma sneezes*
Regina: Emma, are you sick? Here, take this blanket, and I'm bringing homemade soup and you really should take better care of yo-
*Snow sneezes*
Regina: Oh my god. Shut the hell up.
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Belle: Can you keep a secret?
Emma: Sure we can.
Belle: "We?"
Emma: Yeah, me and Regina. No one else will know.
Belle: No, I want you to know, but not Regina.
Emma: If you don't want Regina to know, then why are you telling me?
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Regina: Our relationship is strictly professional.
Emma sitting on Regina's lap: Absolutely, only business.
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Regina, sighing exasperated: What am I going to do with you?
Emma: Ideally? Fuck me at some point.
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Emma: yeah ive been really into true crime podcast's recently
regina(trying to flirt): oh wow thats crazy ive actually been a main suspect in seven different murder cases
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Emma: You are nice and calm when you are not mad.
Regina: Wait, then what do i look like when i'm mad?
Emma: Hot as fuck.
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Emma: What’s it like dating me?
Regina: You ever had a migraine and been turned on at the same time?
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