#emmodii rambles

[emmodii-mode]

Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).

I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-

Her face before she flies off---

She looks so heartbroken and sad.

[oc-mode]

Basile at people: Lol

Basile at people being nice to him: LOLS HARDER

Basile at people that won't stop being genuinely kind to him: L......Lol?

Basile when he realises he cares for these people: NO LONGER LOL!!! NO LONGER LOL!!!!!!!

[emmodii-mode]

In my defence, what was I supposed to do? Leave their corpses to rot?

[emmodii-mode]

Sorry.

I'm not actually sorry. Ajrklewjrflewr.

[emmodii-mode]

It's always fun to try an asshole route in games where you can pick your own choices---

Except Disco Elysium.

I can't bring myself to disappoint Kim Kitsuragi... 😔

[emmodii-mode]

I want you all to know that if I wasn't so burnt out on art, I'd be brainstorming and conceptualising some kinda Sense8 AU for the Baldur's Gate 3 companions.

Although... There's only 6 in the main tadpole gang. 7 if you count Tav...

Oh... OH.

8 IF YOU INCLUDE THE DARK URGE.

OH THAT WOULD BE A HILARIOUS CLUSTERMATE TO HAVE.

[emmodii-mode]

Last night, I had a dream I met another fan of the clones in Star Wars. And the topic strayed to Jesse and we both... Forgot his fucking name.

I ended up going home, mulling over it. It was raining heavily, a sense of dread in the air, and my balcony door wasn't locked like I thought it was. So I was going around, checking the rooms with a knife in my hand.

YET, AS I WAS STABBING THE AIR WITH A FUCKING KNIFE, LOOKING FOR A POTENTIAL MURDERER HIDING BEHIND MY DOORS, ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS, "What the FUCK is that clone's name???"

So the first thing I did after waking up was ask my sister.

[emmodii-mode]

To summarise my feelings regarding my beloveds in Baldur's Gate 3---

Gale: I adore his genuine passion for knowledge and his well-meaning attitudes. His funny little quips, whether they hit or miss, are so dorky. He's cute.

Lae'zel: She's straightforward and her intentions are clear. I feel safe around her, not just because she's strong, but because I trust her.

Gortash: I want to bite off his face and turn him into stew.

[emmodii-mode]

Thinking about shipping potentials between Tav and Barcus and like... A drow Tav that treats Barcus way better than Wulbren does would be both great and terribly, terribly sad.

[emmodii-mode]

Lae'zel asking me if something's burdening me more like NOT ANYMORE NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE.

[emmodii-mode]

I wanna re-watch The Good Place. If you haven't watched it, give it a try. It's a wonderful comedy that's also a criticism on our views of morality and good-and-bad. Also, the fact it can make philosophy hilarious while educational is genius.

As a bonus, it made me less terrified of what comes after dying.

[oc-mode]

Basile is strong in the sense that he’s not easy to down. His psychic abilities are also pretty horrifying- I mean, he can forcibly crush someone’s head if that’s what he wanted. And the fact that he can phase AND is pretty much immortal? Yeah.

So if Basile were to fight Darci, at first glance, it’d seem like he would win. Especially given Darci’s distaste for violence and fighting in general.

Except if Darci wanted to, he is actually a lot more powerful and scarier than Basile. His ability to turn into a shadow and travel anywhere makes him a difficult target. In fact, Basile would not be able to use his psychic abilities on him as long as he is hidden in the shadows. Darci is also physically stronger and healthier, allowing him to last much longer in a fight, provided nothing vital gets affected.

And none of that even includes the fact that he is able to force debilitating nightmares onto people via a single, tiny touch.

Thus, the only reason Basile appears to be the strongest in the group is because, plain and simple, Darci has no desire to be.

[oc-mode]

Coffee actually doesn’t really have much of an effect on Tom. He just drinks it out of habit, and also because the motion of drinking keeps him awake for a couple of seconds.

[oc-mode]

Been thinking about Isaac's character concepts and development, so I decided to check his very first design when he was "Azik" and a demon.

Apparently he was a 15yo? That's... Younger than I thought, honestly. But not that far off--- Still, comparing a 15yo to a 16yo (his latest version) feels like a pretty big difference... Perhaps because a lot can happen in a year for teenagers?

Decided to search up his first revamp, when he actually became "Isaac" and the character he is today and...

I'm not sure why I made him a 17yo. I'm sure I had a reason--- I just don't remember why. Maybe I wanted him to be more mature than Azik? Maybe I wasn't comfortable afflicting a 15yo with cancer? Maybe I just wanted him older than me? Hell knows.

Whatever the case was, Isaac's a 16yo now, although I'm considering shifting him back to a 15yo like Azik was. He was actually going to be an 18yo in the story, but the more I plotted it out, the more I thought it'd hit harder if he were younger. Heck, he's younger than the main protagonist too.

Because if he were an adult (or older teen), he'd just seem like a purely murderous asshole. I don't think anyone would sympathise with him as much as they would if he were, say, just a kid. A really, really, really hurt kid who felt like the world wasn't worth growing up into. For anyone.

I'm sure there'll be people who think Isaac's whiny or entitled or "didn't have it that bad". But the point of Isaac is not that people were against him--- It's that people just... Weren't there at all.

I guess in the end, you could say Isaac's just a child throwing a tantrum, but that's kinda it, ain't it? People say tantrums are immature and silly, but it doesn't change the fact that the child is still very much feeling something- Feeling terrible. And when you try and shut the kid up, they'll explode.

Isaac realised how shitty the world was. He wanted nothing more than for someone to tell him otherwise. Nobody did. Not until he was too far gone. Not until he already took his own life. And he was angry.

So he takes it out on everyone.

[oc-mode]

Cole has the gifted child syndrome. Their parents were proud of their high grades and constantly pressured them be the best. As such, Cole constantly worked hard and wasn't allowed much leisure time, both by their parents and themself. They were alienated from other children due to this, and also due to the fact that it was implanted into their head that they were different from other kids. Better.

But as they got older, the other children started to catch up. They were no longer ahead of them and they couldn't understand why no matter how hard they tried, they struggled. Their parents couldn't understand either, and kept pushing them to try even harder, telling them that they weren't giving it their all and to stop being dramatic and stop crying-

As a result, Cole grew up repressing their emotions. The sadness, the loneliness, frustration, anger... And even though they eventually realised their parents were garbage and left their asses, they still couldn't drop their old mentality. Couldn't deal with their feelings without feeling guilty. Couldn't do anything without feeling envious of people who did better.

[oc-mode]

Kitty and Barnaby were once cousins-in-law... But they had never met because Kitty ended up with a new identity and in an orphanage at a young age.