#emo from a tiny change from the source but that meant so much in the context of the characters

[hard-times-paramore]

"I should have married you."

Duke Leto says it to Jessica, but in the book - and even in the first movie - she never got to hear those words. He thinks them to himself, but dies before he can share them. And it's heartbreaking, because for Lady Jessica, in all her Bene Gesserit wisdom and training, that has always been a point of jealousy and insecurity. She knew Leto couldn't wed her for political reasons, but still wished he had been brave enough to do it anyway, just as she was brave enough to give him a son despite her orders.

I wonder how she felt, in the movie, finally being allowed to hear how much she was wanted, how much she was loved, only for it to be too late.

[rumblelibrary]

Can you do a Baron Zemo x Emo! Reader smut? Like reader gets teased by others or like Sam and Bucky always comment on there music or outfit? And it ends kinda fluffy?

Net of Desire [Baron Helmut Zemo x Emo!Reader]

Word count: 2k

Warnings: SMUT and a bit of annoying commenting on outfits

Author’s note: I hope I channeled your desire here, sorry for taking so long!!

You were sitting on the armchair side ways, legs thrown on one of the arms there, a book on your lap. Sharon’s apartment still the most luxurious place you have ever been after Zemo’s jet.

“Are you not getting changed Y/N?” Same asked as he took off the expensive suit Zemo gave him for something more toned down.

You looked up from the book you just stole from Sharon’s coffee table up to him.

“Nope”

Sam sighed “you know, it is about not being noticed, not please notice me so half of Madripoor is on our asses” he said trying to be ironic.

You looked at him, again, eyes casting back on the book a second after.

Bucky moved inside the room wearing a fancy blazer, giving Sam just another excuse to not shut up.

“See? Even the 1940’s man got changed, can’t you?”

Once more, you didn’t answer his teasing.

It wasn’t the first time it happened, Sam begun this little teasing game when you grew enough comfortable with him, it was innocent at first, you laughed it off, but with some time it begun taking a tool on you.

You wanted so badly to send him to fuck off, you did actually more than once, but it just never gained the effect that sentence was meant to have. So by now you resumed to just allow yourself to keep silent and let it go, if you can’t fight them…even though it still hurt you.

Zemo observed the scene from afar, he sipped his whisky analysing the situation, noticing the discomfort you sported in your body language. His eyes drifting onto your criticised outfit as Sam called him to stand.

“So, you’re not coming?” Sam asked now surprised.

“No, I prefer to rest” you said hating yourself for not snapping at him before.

So they left, you were alone, again.

The loneliness feeling sinking into you as you stood up moving in front of the big baroque mirror leaned against the wall.

You liked yourself, you felt yourself now, like this, in these clothing, in the fishnets Bucky frowned upon so much, in the dark colours. This was you. Why you couldn’t be you?

You sighed deciding to go over the news and check from your computer the news and political situation, the world was on fire, the news talking about the Flag Smashers everywhere.

“Do they always bother you like that?”

Zemo’s voice rang through you, you gulped softly as you looked at him, purple turtleneck and all, gracing your sight with his figure and charm.

“Mostly” you admitted “Shouldn’t you be downstairs, with them watching over you?”

He smirked “I pulled my dance moves out, those two can’t appreciate anything different than the standard, it was easy to leave when they look away for the embarrassment” he assured to you, his words slightly ringing through you.

He moved closer as he leaned on side inspecting what you were doing, his eyes darting on the screen “And they worry about your clothing” he chuckled as the news about the flag smashers were more than worrying.

“Have you ever thought..”

He begun but you quickly killed any phrase “No I won’t change”

He smirked but continued just as you didn’t interrupt him “….to send those two to fuck off?”

You smirked nodding slowly like you’re considering it before letting out a soft chuckle.

“Done it already, it didn’t work that much”

He looked at you as his eyes travelled over you  “I like it, it is provocative”

You rolled your eyes, you just hated it, you didn’t want to be indulged, yo stared up at him as his eyes weren’t mocking you, there was no play of words in him, at least not now.

You couldn’t deny you felt attracted to him, the confidence that rose through him, the intoxicating charm, the controlled attitude.

“You’re provoking me”

He smirked “That’s what I do better, however I feel like we both are well into provoking the two of them”

“Pissing them off” you corrected

“Give them a reason to shut up” he shot back as his right hand on your laptop closing it.

He was inches away from you by now and you just closed the space between the two of you, you didn’t need all the convincing he leaned onto you, but it just made it hotter.

His lips tasted sour like the shot he had before, the tension of the escaped peril back at Shelby’s  still lingering over you more than you though, a sense of urgency taking over your senses.

Then he pulled back from that kiss, hands grasping onto your hips, he pressed his forehead against yours as he pulled your hoodie off you, you dragged him by his sweater to the room Sharon gave you.

You weren’t processing it that much, he was hot, the feeling was mutual and he was the first person to just look at you in a way you never felt before.

He took off his turtleneck as you undid his belt, there was a rush within the two of you, you couldn’t hold it back, maybe it was also the possibility to be found or how Zemo wasn’t touching anyone from seven yers.

He cursed in Sokovian under his breath as you laid on the bed, he peeled off the black skinny ripped jeans you wore leaving you in those dark fishnets while your hands went down to your hips to take those off. “Keep them” he requested, hands moving over the intricate design of it positioning himself between your legs, he leaned down hovering you “So beautiful” he whispered joining your lips again as his hands ripped off the only part of your fishnets he needed access from, his fingers playing with you so securely you felt your body showered by pleasure shivers. “Zemo” you groaned as he leaned closer to you moving your underwear on side to better access to your wetness.

“Look at you, so helpless” he murmured against your lips “how could anyone want to miss this sight?” He groaned against your lips, he was a tease, a very hot one. He knew how to make you shiver, tremble, ask for more with just the little charm of his fingers, but that wasn’t enough. You didn’t want to reach your pleasure like this.

Your hands moved down pushing his pants and underwear off him going to pump his hard on.

“Don’t make me wait” you groaned as he could’t say no to such a request, his hands leaving your core unattended as he pushed inside you easily earning a groan of pleasure and relief from you.

He begun moving soon, slow at first, testing you and your body before changing angle slightly and moving harder inside you. 

“Fuck”

He smirked to your little curse, his hips making their way inside you deep and steadily, his fingers grasping your thighs once more, slipping between the fishnets, moulding with them, breaking them as he used them to guide you even more closer, if possible, his lips biting and sucking yours, his need not even mildly concealed while he dragged his lips onto your neck, one hand still tangled to the fishnets while the other run over your body searching for the most sensitive spots to play with them adding pleasure to the existing one.

You grabbed his neck, you pulled his hair dragging him closer, he loved it, he adored the way you desired him, to feel desired felt old, it felt impossible after so many years behind glass wearing always the same clothing, hearing only the same phrases.

Pleasure seemed the first reason the two of you went down onto this situation, in the end it was pleasure and closeness. Neither of you felt the need to get parted even after you both moaned and shouted your orgasms. He would stay still and hover you, you’d stare at him with a soft shiver tracing your body. He would sit up, staring down at you in your only fishnets pulling up one of your legs to his shoulder to kiss on the inner side of your knee.

A smile played on your lips, and then on his.

“Oh you” he smirked leaning down between your legs.

Beside the clear embarrassment that sourced in your companions when coming back from the party they just found your hoodie around and nothing else but moans of pleasure coming from your room, the best part was the next morning when nobody really had the will to speak up.

You were sitting on a stool in the kitchen applying your make up in front of a tiny mirror when Zemo made his way in front of you standing on the other side of the kitchen isle, glares darting over him from everywhere as your distressed fishnet was proudly wrapped around your legs still. You looked up at him as he smiled at you and leaned on his elbows leaning his face forward, you smirked taking his chin into your hand gently as he looked up while you applied a bit of dark eyeliner underneath his eyes.

Not a single comment being made that day.

Tagged @cazzyimagines​ @lieutenantn​ @handmaiden-of-mischief​ @thesunflowersutra​ @zemomybeloved​​ @fictionlandslanddreams​ @charistory​ @greeneyedblondie44​ @apparrio​ @hb8301​ @whatawildone​ @rhymerhymerhyme @thehuiabird @lilith-blackrose

Let me know if you want to get tagged to my publications too <3

[mxrstar]

hey do you ever love a fic so much you want to draw fanart for it? but you are not very good at drawing so you decide to try out collage for the first time in your life? well, let’s just say that i quite liked the last published chapter of  @gerrydelano​​‘s fic 

[ID: the image is a collage. the background paper is pastel blue, and towards the top right corner there is a group of birds, drawn in white. they are eating and the lines of the drawing are smudged, so that the white drags out from them in vague shades. on the top left corner, there is a single window frame; the frame is green and the glass is black. there are a series of eyes taken from various paintings glued on top of the glass. from behind the frame, comes a single butterfly’s wing, which is red yellow and white. on the bottom right corner, there is a tiny, white drawing of a person helping another on a small boat. the drawing is framed into the corner by an arch. the colors of the arch are graded from dark green to dark red. a red and yellow leaf is glued on top of the arch, and there is a tiny piece of paper glued onto the leaf. the paper says: “-G”. right in the middle of the drawing, we first can see (looking at it from the bottom to the top) a picture of some kind of body of water, upon which two boats are sailing. upon that first picture, acting as shore for the water, there is a picture of outer space. it is red, green, violet and white, and it is a bit shiny. there is an old stairway glued right in the middle of outer space. at the bottom of a stairway we can see a yellow figure (maybe a kid, with long hair and a backpack) and the top of the stairs connects to a door. the door belongs to a blue room. there is a big clock glued upon the door, and there is a drawing of a man, looking tired and facing the other way, right in the middle of the room. the top and bottom right corners of the room are framed by two colored vortex, which are incidentally two of the stars from Van Gogh’s “Starry Night”. from behind the left side of the room, comes out another butterfly wing, which perfectly mirrors the one that comes out of the window. on the right side of the paper, we can see the sentence “I’d say you have at least somewhat of a chance” spelled out in different letters. at the bottom of the paper, a white piece of paper says “two ships passing”. /end ID]

under the cut I have written an explanation of the meaning behind the,, symbols? I am not going to pretend I had super strict idea to begin with, but as I started to find things I liked on random high-school books I (un)consciously  assigned them a meaning. feel free to indulge my pretentiousness and read my ramble I guess + (also under the cut) close-up pictures

okay so let me just run down a list: — the window okay, so. that’s meant to represent the background world, the things Gerry and Jon are going to have to live with whenever they step outside of their refuge. the glass is dark, because they try to protect themselves for as long as possible, but there are still various Eyes peeking in, mostly looking aggressive or extremely focused (fun fact: all of these come from paintings; i perhaps should have written down which belongs to what but i forgot) — the birds this is a reference to the ongoing “birds in jon’s stomach” metaphor. they are eating because that’s what they were drawn doing on the paper i miraculously found dsgfghk but if you want to push it you could say that they are all going “finally, some good fucking food” at Jon’s joy in meeting Gerry?? + they lines are smudged because,,,,,,, (god i am so sappy) because it gives an impression of movement? like, they are at ease but part of them is free to fly — the butterfly’s wings so, take “one dropped stone can change the way the whole ocean moves” but make it boring, and suddenly it’s the butterfly’s effect. the wings connect both to the outside world, to the window and the Eyes /and/ to the room (which I will get to later) because their meeting changes everything. it changes how they interact with the world and (at least partially) it saves them from it + it changes them as people, and gives them a space to be happy, to be with each other — the sea + outer space the sea with the two boats is quite an obvious one so i am not going to say anything about it. outer space is,,,,,,,,,, Miriam? I know she is more ocean vast that she is space vast, but I guess the contrast is nicer this way. she has been the shore to their sea, the vast, contextless freedom through which Jon and Gerry have connected, and Gerry has healed — the yellow figure in my head, that’s Gerry. i don’t know about the yellow, it came with that so i didn’t choose it and i don’t really have a meaning for it (unless you want to be really emo and decide that “Gerard just looks at him like he’s seeing the sun for the first time, and then looks away like he’s surprised by how much it hurts” is suddenly reversed in this last chapter, and Gerry is, in a way, Jon’s sudden source of light). the figure is that of a kid (I think, at least?) with a backpack. it’s Gerry as a kid, meeting Jon in that chance Miriam has made possible and relatively durable — the stairs those are a reference to the stairs in Portia’s house, but they also mark the passage of time (that’s sort of represented by the big clock on top of the door). by the time Gerry gets to the top, Miriam has left and suddenly he is in another room — the blue room + the man the blue room is where Jon is stuck now. he is facing the other way, he is adrift. the man doesn’t look like Jon but we’ll forgive that because in the original full drawing he is sitting onto a rock which is connected with some ropes to a boat. the blue room is framed by those vortexes (which are actually two starts from Van Gogh’s Starry Night) because i had made a mess with glue and i needed to cover up the corners sfgsdfg but if we want to think well and hard about this, perhaps they are the lights Jon still has but cannot, won’t see. he is not looking at either of them. wow now im sad — the door Gerry and Jon don’t meet in the universe, nor in the blue room. they meet beyond the door, in their sacred, private space. they both need to get in in order for this to work — the bottom right corner okay, in my head that’s sort of a page number. something that marks our position in the story. there’s this drawing of a man helping another on a boat (which comes from the same drawing I found the man in the blue room in!) cause, you know. it’s reunion time. the arch was originally part of a circle which was rainbow-coloured. it reminded me of that idea which I think is in the Official™ gtcmu™ lore- that thing about Jon having no specific colour, but colouring everyone else, sort of being the rainbow. it’s not obvious cause the arch isn’t a full rainbow, but I was indeed thinking about it. i guess i also wanted to somehow convey that it’s not just Gerry that is giving something to Jon. they are both sharing something meaningful with each other. Jon is still making him bright. then, there is the leaf, because this happens in Autumn, and the small “-G” which is a reference to the note Gerry leaves to Tim — “I’d say you have at least somewhat of a chance” the quote is obviously very cute and the moments in which both Gerry and Jon say it (though this is Gerry’s phrasing) are CUTE. but i chose this one because it’s superficially warm + as a standalone could mean something more. it’s simple and it’s complex. it’s “yeah im totally bi” “yeah i would indeed like to kiss you” and it’s “sometimes it feels like the entire world is against you and your life has been so so hard, but I’d say you have at least somewhat of a chance”. and this is their chance. so they take it

OKAY i made myself emotional thank you for get quite as far as you are reading this!

pictures next:

[flightfoot]

Second Chances

So I wrote this fic MONTHS ago, back in December, but only now decided to publish it. It’s part of my Goddess Meg, Little Apollo, and Skelekittens series. Hope everyone likes it!

“Are you ready?”

I wasn’t ready. I doubted I’d ever think I would be ready for this. But it needed to be done. So… “Yes.”

Meg looked over at me. I could see that she knew I was lying, but she let it go.

Meg had grown up a lot since we first met a year ago. So had I, though in my case, it was more literal. She had become a god in order to save me, and she was still getting used to what that meant. A few months ago, she’d snuck out of the Waystation while mother and I were sleeping. She plunged  into Tartarus and recovered the essences of Percy’s and Annabeth’s friends, Bob, Damasen, and Small Bob. Those weren’t the only beings she had saved, however.

A tiny calico kitten perched on Meg’s shoulders, nuzzling her and purring. Meg had found the skelekittens that had been destroyed and sent to Tartarus. Naturally, she rescued all of them. Her own skelekitten, Chia, was absolutely adorable. She’d defend Meg tooth and claw if she were threatened. I was fairly certain that her battle prowess would be unnecessary today. The difficulties we would face would be more emotional than physical.

I played “Love is an Open Door” to the Door of Orpheus. This door had MUCH better taste in music than the last door I had tried that on. It opened without a fuss.

A dark tunnel lay before us. I glowed brightly, lighting up the corridor. Meg studied me for a moment. “You make a good flashlight.”

“Comes with being the god of light,” I replied, cracking a small smile. I could hear water gushing up ahead. I needed any bit of cheer I could find.

We exited the tunnel. The source of the roaring became more apparent. I looked to the right and saw the source of my dread. The River Styx gushed beside me, forming a barrier between the mortal world and the Underworld. I heard whispers emanating from the river. All your fault you broke your promise you’re the reason Crest and Jason died why should you get to live? Don’t you deserve to  d i s a p p e a r?

“-pollo! APOLLO!” I could feel someone shaking me, dragging me along. A small black-haired girl, with a kitten on her shoulder, mewing, clearly alarmed.

Meg. This was Meg. I needed to keep going. Get away from the Styx. Keep Meg away from the goddess’s curse. Couldn’t let her suffer too.

I shuddered, but I got to my feet, putting one leg in front of the other, taking myself - and more importantly Meg - away from the Styx. With every step, its call became quieter, until it disappeared altogether.

By the time I had calmed down, we were at the Gate of Erebus. Spirits surrounded us, but paid us no mind. Fine by me. We weren’t here to see any of these spirits. Our goal was further on.

Cerberus bounded up to us, tongues lolling out of his mouths, tail wagging. Meg’s skelekitten sprang off her shoulder and grew to her adult size. For a moment I thought we’d have to separate the two of them, a task that was NOT on my to-do list for today. Instead Chia bounded up to the massive Rottweiler and rubbed up against his legs, purring so hard she visibly vibrated. Cerberus looked confused for a moment. He then decided that this was the Most Awesome Thing Ever, and started giving Chia a tongue-bath, which she thoroughly enjoyed.

“Awww,” Meg cooed. I just thought about how sopping wet with drool Chia would be by the time we got her back. Though, come to think of it… “We can leave her here for now, if you’d like, and pick her up when we head back from Hades’ Palace. That’ll give her a little more time with her new friend.”

Meg thought about this for a moment, before nodding. “Chia, we’ll come back for you in an hour or so. You can hang out with Cerberus until then!” she yelled. Chia gave a quick yowl of acknowledgement before she went back to climbing all over Cerberus.

We moved on, walking towards the massive palace ahead of us. It looked a lot like Olympus, if Olympus was going through an emo phase. It was dark, mostly consisting of dark browns and blacks, where Olympus is bright, with white and silver colors. I preferred the lighter colors personally, but that was just me. The darker colors suited Hades better anyway. I didn’t see how anyone could like the images on the gates of mortals dying horrific deaths, though. Hades’ taste in decor was beyond me at times.

Hades’ skeleton guards parted to let us into the palace. We walked into the entrance hall, our footsteps echoing loudly, as if saying “You are but a speck here. Behold the might of Hades.”

I looked at Meg, thinking that I’d reassure her that everything would be fine, give her moral support. She didn’t need it. She strode along the hall like she belonged there, unintimidated by our surroundings. She even started humming a song. It was off-key of course, but it broke the tension nicely. I smiled. We were going to see the Lord of the Underworld while within his own domain, and Meg was treating it like a walk in the park.

Meg noticed my gaze, looking back at me. “It’ll be fine,” she said, “I know I can do this. It’s part of my domain.”

Go figure. I was going to reassure her, and instead she was reassuring me. I was glad for her comfort. I’m not sure what I was even afraid of. That Hades would reject her proposal?  That she’d say something insolent (which let’s face it, is VERY likely) and he’d retaliate? Ok, I needed to stop this train of thought now before I worried myself further.

The doors to Hades’ throne room swung open. Hades sat on his throne of bones (eww…) looking regal. He’d decided to stay a normal godly size, about twenty feet tall.

“I thought you’d be coming here, sooner or later,” he declared. “When Meg brought you and herself back from the brink of death, I suspected that her domain would cross over with mine. When she banished Zeus to be reborn, I knew that she would one day stand before me.” Hades stood up, his cape billowing out behind him, “Tell me, child, why you have come. What role do you fill in the Underworld?”

Meg straightened beside me. “I’m the Goddess of Redemption and Rebirth. When someone dies who needs a second chance, but who didn’t earn Elysium, I’ll go to them and offer them the chance to be reborn, to better themselves. Sometimes if people are put in different circumstances, they’ll grow, change, become better. I help those people get started. I have to try, even if I can’t be sure it’ll work. I won’t give up on them so easily.”

Hades nodded, thoughtful. “I saw what happened with Lityerses. I never expected a soul that was sentenced to the Fields to make such good use of a second shot at life. Though I suppose that was mostly due to Apollo,” he said, looking at me with bemusement.

He turned back to Meg. “There are some people who I won’t allow to be reborn. Some have committed heinous enough crimes that I will NEVER allow them to see the light of day again. I will not allow you to bring those souls back.”

Meg frowned. “I’m not bringing back just ANY soul. But if I think a soul deserves it, I’m bringing them back, whether you like it or not.”

Hades sat up, angered. The room appeared to darken. I started glowing, counteracting some of the shadows that seemed to be strengthening.

“You DARE go against me?” he hissed. “I am the Lord of the Underworld. These souls are MY jurisdiction.”

“They’re mine too.” Meg cut in, “You might not like it, but I’m gonna do my job, even if you don’t approve.”

Hades glowered at her for a moment. My hands itched for my bow, but I kept them still at my sides. I would not escalate this situation unless I had no other choice.

Hades relaxed slightly and sighed. “Should have remembered, you’re the same girl who screamed at Zeus. Very well. I won’t make you swear on the Styx not to bring back such souls. Know this, though. If you go against my edicts, there WILL be consequences.”

Meg nodded.

Hades continued. “You didn’t come down here ONLY to tell me that, did you?” He looked at Meg expectantly.

“No. There’s a soul who deserves a second chance. I’m here to give him one.”

She gave the name of the soul we were going to retrieve. Hades’ eyebrows raised. “Him? Are you sure? He caused a lot of trouble. His actions could have cost a lot of lives. Do you really want to give him another chance?”

“I’m sure.”

“I suppose that’s why Apollo’s here? To have a talk with him?”

“Well, that and because there’s no way he would let me do this by myself.”

I was affronted. “Last time you went into the Underworld alone, you jumped into Tartarus!”

“Hey, I was fine!”

“That’s no excuse!”

Hades interrupted before we could argue further, “If you are done, please bicker on your way out, I don’t want to hear it.” He snapped his fingers, conjuring up a skeleton. “My servant will guide you. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

I muttered quietly, “So do I,” as we followed the skeleton out of the palace.

——————————————————————————————————

We arrived back at the Gate of Erebus. Cerberus and Chia were bounding around chasing each other, Cerberus barking up a storm and Chia joining in with loud yowls.

“CHIA!” Meg yelled over the cacophony. “I NEED YOU NOW!”

Chia looked disappointed, but bounded over to us, shrinking back to her kitten form. Cerberus whined, giving us pleading puppy-dog eyes, sad to see his new friend go. Meg walked over and gave him a few scritches on his head. “Don’t worry, we’ll be back,” she soothed. He perked up slightly at this and gave a happy bark.

We walked through the gates to the Field of Punishment. I kept my eyes fixed on our skeleton guide. I didn’t want to look at all the horrific punishments going on around me. At one time I would have found it entertaining to watch mortals get their righteous punishment, but now I just felt sorry for them.

We were only here for one person. It was my fault he was here. I should have looked closer. I should have KNOWN. But I let myself be blinded by my own ego and arrogance. I couldn’t look beyond myself, to see that he needed help. It was time to rectify that mistake.

I heard shouts up ahead. At first I tried to ignore them, like I’d been avoiding paying attention to the rest of the Fields of Punishment. Then I caught snatches of what the voices were saying.

“You’re weak.”

“You failed New Rome”

“No one will listen to you. No one cares about you.”

“You were always the weak link. The world is better off without you.”

My stomach clenched. I have had similar thoughts running through my head in the past. If this was his torture, then he was more similar to me than I had thought. Once I had blamed him for my predicament, for my punishment. But he was not to blame. I was. He had believed every word he told me. It was my fault, for not seeing how he would interpret my blessing.

We rounded the corner. In front of us was a blond teenager in stocks. His head and wrists stuck in the board, forcing him to stand hunched over, unable to move. Surrounding him were shades, jeering at him. One walked over and began kicking him, laughing all the while. He didn’t respond.

No. I would not allow this. I blasted the surroundings with light. By the time I had dimmed, the shades were nowhere to be seen. Of course not. They were conjured up by his own imagination. They were never real in the first place.

The teen glanced up at me, his face brightening. “Apollo!” he called, a crazed look overcoming his formerly somber expression, “I knew you would come. They were wrong. Wrong! Those traitors failed New Rome, and failed you. But I won’t. If you give me another chance, I will carry out your will. I will become the savior of New Rome. I will kill the Graecus for you! I will make you the greatest god in the Legion, above all others! You won’t have to be confused by those Graecus scum anymore.”

My heart sank. Intellectually, I knew that the dead didn’t grow or change during punishment, that they would stay in pretty much the same state as when they died, forever. Otherwise they’d all go insane. I’d heard of the state Octavian was in near the end, how mad he had looked, how bloodthirsty he had become. It was another thing entirely to see him for myself.  It was like looking at Commodus again, before I had murdered him. I had ignored my failures for so long, pretended they didn’t exist. But that had only allowed me to repeat my mistakes.

At least this was one mistake that I could go some small way towards fixing.

“Octavian. I’m sorry. You misunderstand. We’re here to free you, but not for revenge, or to lead the Romans. The Greeks were telling the truth. They were right. Going to war against Camp Half-Blood, trying to destroy it? I would NEVER wish for that.”

Octavian breathed harder and faster, until he was on the verge of a panic attack. “NO! No no no no no! You PROMISED ME that I’d be the savior of New Rome. That can’t be right! This must be a test. Yes! A test! You’re testing your most loyal follower, seeing whether he truly understands your wishes. I will kill the Graecus and free you from their poison, my Lord!”

He wouldn’t listen. He would never listen. He was another one I couldn’t save, a victim of my ego and cowardice, my refusal to look beyond my own desires, to understand what others were thinking and feeling. Why did I think I could save him? Why-

*SLAP*

I refocused on Meg. It seems that she’d gone for her usual method of telling people they were being stupid: mild violence.

“He’s not tricking you, and he’s not corrupted or poisoned or whatever. He didn’t mean what you thought he meant. We’re here because you tried to do what you thought was best, and I think you could be better. Apollo didn’t want to give up on you. I don’t either. I’m gonna give you another chance.”

Octavian looked confused, not knowing what to make of Meg. I didn’t blame him. Meg had that effect on people.

He opened his mouth, and started to speak, but his words died in his throat as he stared in Meg’s direction. I followed his gaze, ascertaining that he was staring at the kitten on her shoulder. Chia leaped down and started rubbing her face against his ankles, purring and mewing.

“That cat… likes me?” Octavian asked, utterly bewildered. “Where… what… no animals like me. They’re all afraid of me! So why…” He seemed lost. A god testing him, that he could understand. But an animal liking him and showing him affection? Beyond his comprehension. It reminded me of how Lit had responded when Emmie had welcomed him into the Waystation family, how he’d collapsed sobbing at being shown a little kindness.

“Would you like to hold him?” Meg asked.

He moved to nod, but then glared at her. “You mock me. I can’t hold her while restrained. This was just a trick, to torture-”

*click*

The upper part of the stocks disappeared, leaving Octavian free. Meg twirling the keys she had conjured up from who-knows-where.

Of course Meg had the keys for the stocks. Her duties now involved freeing souls from the Fields of Punishment, so she would have to have the means to remove them from their punishments.

Octavian stood, stunned once again. Meg gently lifted the purring skelekitten up from the ground, and placed her in Octavian’s arms. Chia nuzzled Octavian, licking his face endearingly. Those were rough kisses, but Octavian didn’t seem to mind. Tears ran down his face, which Chia happily licked up.

“You’ll get another chance,” I promised him. “I don’t know what your next life will be like, but I know I will meet you along the way. I’ll make sure you aren’t left alone. You will have the help you need this time, and people who care about you. And you will meet up with Chia again.”

Octavian nodded absently, still stroking Chia, lost in her cuteness and affection. Meg reached out and gently touched Octavian. He glowed brighter and brighter, pulsing once, twice, and on the third pulse, he disappeared.

Chia mewed, unhappy that she had been separated from another one of her new friends.

“You’ll see him again,” Meg assured her skelekitten. “It’ll be awhile, but you’ll get to cuddle with him again. I promise.” Chia purred and hopped back onto Meg’s shoulders.

Meg looked at me. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I squared my shoulders. “This time, I’ll look after him properly. I’ll pay attention to what the people around me are really thinking and feeling, and I’ll make sure they get help. I won’t fail him a second time.”

Meg smiled. “Then let’s go home. It’ll be awhile before he’s reborn, and we need to make sure the world is ready for him when he is.”

Together we walked out of the Underworld, to a brighter future.

[shurisneakers]

espresso [4]

Summary: In which your best friend’s brother begins to set you up on dates when you mention that you haven’t been in a relationship in years, but things don’t go as expected.

Warning: swearing, dating, anger issues

A/N: this is my entry for the beautiful @bithors writing challenge!

hey hey big shoutout to @samingtonwilson because every time she betas this and sends me the revised copy im like!!!! a QUEEN!!!! holy shit!!!

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous part- Part 3 || Espresso Masterlist

“No. Fucking. Way.”

“Yes fucking way! Ain’t she beautiful?” Bucky beamed, running his hands gingerly over the door of his new ride. An old muscle car, a sleek black with a few scratches and dents, but proudly glinting in the moonlight.

You let out a low whistle, glancing up at Bucky as you crouched beside the car for a better look. “Gorgeous. She got a name?”

“I was debatin’ Grace, but now I’m thinkin’ she’s more of an April. What do you think?”

You would have teased him, but this was genuinely the happiest you’d seen him in a long time. Alight eyes were crinkled at the corners and his grin was one of the largest you’d ever seen, and heck, you wondered why he couldn’t be like this more often.

“Shits, that’s perfect.”

You sent him a pair of finger-guns when he opened the door for you and he rolled his eyes in feigned exasperation, smile still stretched over his lips.

In an empty threat, he replied, “Say shit one more time in plural and you’re walking there on your own.”

“Well, God forbid a girl has funs,” you joked only to be met with a groan of annoyance. “Oh, calm down.”

Once in the car, you immediately went to set your feet on the dashboard, legs crossed at the ankle, but received a deadly glare. You slowly lowered your feet, never breaking eye contact with him even as your features twisted in playful fear.

As you tugged your seatbelt on, you asked, “When’d you get her?”

“Two days ago. Couldn’t afford the payments on the other one. Sold it to some frat guys ages ago and took whatever was left after payin’ off the bank to get this one.” He sighed contentedly as he turned the key in the ignition so the engine roared to life. “DMV shit got delayed. She’s probably, like, a third-hand vehicle and needs the upholstery totally ripped up and replaced– but I think she’s pretty great.”

With a soft sound of disagreement, you shook your head. “She’s a ten out of ten, no need for anything. I’m happy for you.”

You tucked your hands behind your head, leaning back into the worn out leather seats which had turned soft over years of use, and a soft sigh of comfort left your lips to prove your point.

“How are your classes going?” he asked after a moment, still smiling softly at your previous statement.

“Getting fingered by Wolverine would be less painful,” you replied casually so Bucky choked and coughed on an inhale. You laughed quietly. “How’s engineering going?”

The indicator made a clicking noise you thought must have sounded less out of tune years ago as he took a left turn. “Shitty. Fuckin’ hate it.”

Eyebrows furrowed, you tilted your head with an agape mouth. “Shitty? Two days ago it was the shit, you said you loved it, that you elected to major in it.”

He gave you a tight-lipped smile and half a shrug and, immediately, you knew something was wrong. While you and Bucky didn’t often discuss your respective career choices and plans for the future, each time you did manage a conversation adjacent, he’d mentioned it was something he’d wanted to do– hell, had he not mentioned it, the number of shitty jokes and puns he made in its reference would have convinced you alone.

“Didn’t want to at first. But Becca advertised wanting to go into journalism all throughout high school and it’s not– it’s not a traditionally lucrative job, at least for the first few years.” He shrugged again, this time in a bit of insecurity, nervousness, but his eyes remained trained on the road. “Figured one of us should be able to embrace that nontraditional job so I picked up something more secure. Something secure because things at home are, you know…”

He had trailed off, but you knew what he meant. Money was a sensitive topic for both, Rebecca and Bucky and, although they could never be ashamed of their family, their pride kept them from asking for help from you despite your continued offering.

“Anyway, she ended up choosing poli-sci for law school for the same reason, so that was pretty ironic,” he grinned and you could see it didn’t reach his eyes, maybe hurting his cheeks as much as it hurt you just to see it.

You remained silent and your teeth wreaked havoc on your lower lip as he continued, “Can’t do anything about it now, though. But, if I could, I’d change my choices in an instant.”

Toying with your fingers in your lap, you asked, “What would you major in instead?”

“I don’t know, it’s kind of stupid really–“

“Didn’t you wanna write?” you added softly, eliciting a look of surprise from him.

He glanced at you quickly. “How’d you know?”

“You were always writing in high school. I saw you with your little notebook every lunch, Bucky,” you laughed, images of an acne-covered Bucky with shoulder-length hair bent over a tiny journal, scribbling for the life of him.

He groaned in embarrassment, a light pink dusting over his cheeks. “I can’t believe you noticed that, Christ. The emo phase was strong.”

“Well, if it helps, I think you’d be a kick-ass writer. I’d be first in line to buy your book. Wouldn’t even sell it on eBay after getting you to sign it.”

He fell silent at that, choosing to bite his lip in place of a response. You’d begun to wonder if you’d said something wrong when he whispered, “Thanks, Mario.”

You didn’t say much more, only turning to look out the window. It wasn’t too long before you heard him chuckle to himself but before you could ask him what he was laughing about, he spoke up, “This is so sad. Alexa, play Despacito.”

You snorted. Fuckin’ dork.

Bucky was leaned against the door of his car as he waited with you until your date for the evening arrived, keeping you engrossed in the utterly ridiculous nonsense you both spoke about.

“I’m just saying, if you made coffee with Gatorade and injected it into your bloodstream, you’re basically God. Like, who the fuck would need heroin then?” you tried explaining for the fifth time, unable to keep the smile off your face. You had your arms crossed over your chest in an effort to keep yourself warm whilst Bucky’s hands were shoved into the pockets of his sweatpants.

“Gatorade is for cowards, we use only Red Bull in this holy house– it actually does something. How about if you mixed vodka, ground espresso beans, and protein powder, then snorted it–”

You clicked your tongue. “Intravenous is more effective–”

“Didn’t realize the offer of a date included you, James.”

In a bit of a laborious task, you looked away from Bucky to the guy who came to a stop before you. Dark hair gelled back and darkness which wasn’t hidden by his glasses surrounding deep hazel eyes, he wore a simple black sweater over a pale blue t-shirt. “But I’m not complaining. Love me some three-way action.”

“Tony,” Bucky sighed, smiling nonetheless. “This is–“

“Mario? I figured.” Tony flashed a quick smile at you.

Immediately you could hear loud sniggering from beside you, making you spin to face him in annoyance. “You have got to stop doing that! What the fuck?” you exclaimed, punching a laughing Bucky on the shoulder as he feebly tried to defend himself.

“My name’s Y/N, not Mario,” you stated to clear the confusion, rolling your eyes at Bucky who burst out laughing again, clearly showing no remorse.

He looked from his watch to you, not fazed by your exchange with Bucky. “Ah, I see. Well, shall we get going? Game’s about to start.”

“See ya later, Mario. Have a good time, guys.” Bucky ruffled your hair as you tried to swat his hand away, taking a step towards Tony as he looked at you with a small smile on his face. “I’ll be on the other side of the court if you need me.”

“D’you want to get some food during halftime or before the first quarter?” Tony asked once Bucky waved a goodbye and jogged to join his friends.

“Halftime sounds good, I think the game’s about to start,” you answered, sending him a half smile.

He only nodded and adjusted his glasses, beckoning for you to join him.

You both made small talk and it turned out he wasn’t nearly half as bad as Peter. He rarely spoke of himself and only mentioned he would be looking for a sustainable source of energy in the future, something about wanting to lessen the environmental burden of current energy dependencies.

It started out well enough, the both of you commenting on the players who you knew. You waved at Sam from your place on the bleachers and he shot you a wink in response

“Sam’s starting tonight and it’s against the Gotham Jokers. S’why Bucky and everyone else is here,” you explained, leaning forward to rest your elbows on your knees.

“Wilson? Number seven? He’s your friend?” Tony asked, squinting at the ball as it was tossed into the air, soon taken by one of the Jokers.

You didn’t bother sparing him a glance as you watched Sam quickly steal the ball back and passing it to Rhodey. “Yeah. Why d’you sound so surprised?”

“Think he’s a bit overrated, that’s all,” Tony mumbled, making you reel back and stare at him disbelievingly. “Got the whole school worshipping the ground he walks on.”

“Captain of the team, MVP last season. He got scholarships to three different prestigious universities, too,” you recited, jumping to your feet as Sam made a shot from the three point line, the ball going in effortlessly with a swish. You looked over your shoulder to raise an eyebrow at Tony, “Still think he’s overrated?”

He only shrugged. “Guess not.”

The next few minutes flew by quickly, Tony progressively getting more invested in the game as it went on. He occasionally let out a cheer when you did, but other than that, he was more observant than anything.

But just as the Jokers were about to pass the ball, Tony jumped to his feet with a scowl, “Double dribble! Double fucking dribble! He stopped! What the fuck, why isn’t anyone calling that out?”

“Tony, he didn’t hold it. There was no double dribble,” you urged as the people surrounding you turned to glare at you both.

“Jesus fuck, this entire crowd is ignorant. Uneducated,” he stated angrily, sitting down in a huff.

You patted him on the back in attempted consolation, but he only ignored you, continuing to glower ahead.

Everything was fine and dandy until the Jokers’ defense pushed one of your team’s players when the referee wasn’t watching. In Tony’s defense, everybody reacted loudly to that. But no one had the passion Tony had when he leapt up like a fucking Jack in the Box, fists thrown in the air. “What the fuck!?” he screamed to no one in particular.

“Yeah, what the fuck!?” you echoed, cupping your hands around your mouth.

“You fucking blind ass, stupid piece of shit, punkass bitch!” he raged, pupils dilated and eyebrows furrowed.

“Okay, never mind.” You promptly sat down, trying to pull Tony with you but he shook you off fervently. You thought he resembled the fucking Tasmanian Devil from Looney Toons.

“That was a foul! Why don’t you use your fucking whistle, you trick ass little bitch?! Try blowing something other than your own dick for once!” he screamed at the referee, shaking his arms around wildly.

“Jesus Christ,” you whispered, putting your head in your hands as he ranted on and on for another ten seconds before finally sitting down, cursing steadily to himself.

When your team made an effortless basket, you prayed it would calm Tony down. And to some extent it did work and he kept quiet until the first quarter was up, only rolling his eyes when people turned to look at him.

Ignoring them from that moment on, he tilted his head as he watched Sam send a wink to a girl who only rolled her eyes playfully in response. “Who’s that?”

“Sam.”

“I know that’s Sam, I’m asking who the girl is.”

“Sam’s girlfriend, Sam,” you replied as you laughed at his expression of confusion.

“Sam has a girlfriend… named Sam?” You nodded as he sighed, smiling despite himself. “Fuck, what would their couple name be?”

“Well, they’re Sam and Sam. Or as I like to call them,” you dropped your voice as he raised an amused eyebrow, “Sam.”

“That’s so fucking creative, how did you ever think of that name?” he asked, a smile on his face that made him look ten times less stressed than he’d been mere moments ago.

You actually didn’t mind Tony at that moment. You might have even considered him to be fun.

That was until the next quarter started and the referee called a foul on Sam for apparently no reason and Tony was back on his feet, face red like one of those ugly Angry Birds. He then started in a shrieking voice, “Oh, so now you want to blow that whistle, you piece of utter shi–“

Tony gave you a ride back to your apartment after the game which had ended much later than you thought it would. You knew Bucky had left after the third quarter when he sent you a text saying he needed to get up early for his shift, but he asked you to call him when you got home safe.

You wondered if he was still awake but, as you’d promised, you called him the moment you crossed the building threshold.

“Hello?” his rasped in an infinitely exhausted voice– you instantly regretted calling him.

“Hey, fuck, sorry. I didn’t think you’d be asleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, get some rest,” you said hurriedly, guilt seeping through your words.

“No, no, it’s fine,” he paused and you could hear him yawn despite the muffling over the line. “Is everything fine, baby?”

“Yeah everything’s– wait, what did you just call me?” you asked as you bit your tongue and your eyebrows shot up in surprise.

The silence you were met with was quickly followed by a string of curses, presumably since he perceived what he’d said. His voice was clearer as he replied, “Shit. Sorry, Mario. It just slipped out. I’m, like, half dead. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. Just called to talk about the king of anger paralysis, clone of Charlie Sheen, Tasmanian Devil embodiment–”

Bucky cut you off with a sigh. “Tony?”

“Oh, yes. Wanna hear all about my super great time with dear Squidward or should I save it for tomorrow?” you asked as you jogged up the stairs to your apartment.

You could hear rustling on the other end before he yawned once again, saying lightly, “I’m ready. Go on for as long as you want.”

“It all started when he called the referee a ‘fucking blind ass, stupid piece of shit, punkass bitch.’”

Bucky sighed. “Oh, shits.”

PART 5

TAGLISTS ARE CLOSED

[puchittothelimit]

Can I request a Smite fan fic about Amaterasu and Izanami getting drunk in a bar one night and the two of them end up arguing and cursing at each other, and then when Susanoo and Raijin arrive to take them home, the two of the, are holding each other and crying at the bar counter?

Author’s Notes

Fandom:SMITE

Fan-fiction: The Last Straw

Summary: Izanami takes Amaterasu to one of her favourite bars to celebrate her birthday. After a little something to drink, both begin to feel a little confrontational. Amaterasu doesn’t appreciate her mother’s concern for her love-life but Izanami simply doesn’t want her daughter to be left with a broken heart.

Characters:Amaterasu, Izanami, Nox, Raijin & Susano

Warnings:Strong Language

Humanity, now 7 billion strong, seemed to occupy everycorner of the globe. Where the Gods were once were able to live away frommortal gaze had been overrun. But there were parts of the world that managed toremain untouched by man, until they found a way to bend reality, of course. TheGods needn’t be concerned about that for now. Mama Nyx’s Bar remained a safehaven, tucked away behind a tiny break in the fabric of the timeline. Only theimmortals knew where the crack was and should any decide to spill its location,Nox would simply darken the opening and make it as uninviting as possible andcreate another entrance elsewhere. She would not allow it to be comprised. Itwas a place where the Gods could unwind and forget about their cosmic dutiesand not have to answer to humanity.

Here, we find Amaterasu and her mother, Izanami, who had broughther daughter here so they could celebrate her birthday together. Izanami hadbeen coming here for many years, mainly out of spite as once she’d escaped herPantheon’s Underworld, she hoped she might see her ex-husband. The pleasantcompany she’d found with other Gods from all over the world had humbled her andchanged her intentions. She came here with friends to have a good time, and shehoped Amaterasu would also enjoy her time here.

A being of light, Amaterasu found the dim setting of MamaNyx’s a little overwhelming when she first entered. Once her eyes had adjusted,she could admire the charming, warehouse décor of the cave. It was huge and nota single space was left untouched or without a purpose. There were spiralledmetal staircases that led to the upper levels of the complex with a small candleon every step. Candles were the main source of light in the cave, though Noxwas happy to settle for fairy lights near the wooden tables and chairs, andlarge, rustic lamps above the bar. Though she could not see any medium forthis, Amaterasu swore she could hear music. There were no musicians and shecould not see any kind of speaker system. She wondered if Nox was eveninterested in modern day human culture but, then again, what was currentlyplaying was a mash-up of two recently released songs.

Izanami went on ahead towards the bar while Amaterasuadmired her surroundings. She was surprised to see many familiar faces thoughshe was wondering why she was never told about this place sooner, unless theythought that she already knew about it. Then again, the Gods that were herecurrently weren’t ones she usually associated herself with. There was Thoth ina corner, curled up with a book and a small drink. In another section, therewas Chronos and Thanatos, both looking very content in each other’s company. Itmade Amaterasu long for Bellona’s company and she would’ve invited her but hermother insisted it be just them. Susano wasn’t even invited but he’d beenbarred from drinking for a very long time by Izanami after she heard about hisatrocious behaviour at the Mayan gathering. It wasn’t just Susano that hadcompromised his dignity however. Many Gods had disgraced themselves that nightand were still trying to make amends: Anubis had just returned to a table wherehe and Ah Muzen Cab were sitting with a bottle of honey whiskey (with only oneglass) to replace the one he’d drank that belonged to the God of Bees; Hadesand Persephone seemed to be engaged in a serious conversation and Amaterasucould only imagine what it was about, although she didn’t expect them to bediscussing Hades’ one-night stand with Ah Puch so out in the open, unless hebrought her here so she wouldn’t go completely insane knowing everyone would bewatching.

Amaterasu took a seat next to her mother at the bar. She washesitant while placing her arms on the countertop, expecting it to be stickybut the surface was spotless. She was guilty about expecting anything less thanperfection from Nox.

“What are you having to drink, Ama’?” Izanami folded her fanand placed it on the bar.

Amaterasu smiled at her mother. She was grateful that shecalled her by her nickname as she found people saying her full name tedious andtiring, much like the writer typing this story. “What would you recommendMother? You’ve clearly been here a lot,” She meant nothing by her comment. Itwas just an assumption.

“More times than I care to admit, but it’s a nice place,with nice drinks and nice company,” Izanami turned to face Thanatos and gavehim a wave and a wink. He remained unmoved, but Chronos found it very amusing.

Nox suddenly rose from behind the bar, “Flattery isn’t goingto pay for your drinks Iza’ and I don’t see a man willing to pay for youeither.”

“Actually, your son has offered to buy me and my daughter apitcher for her birthday,” Izanami proclaimed loudly. Everyone at the bar gaveher a small round of applause for her motherly teasing.

Nox was also amused and played along, “Did he now?” Shenodded at him from across the room. Thanatos shrugged his shoulders, not amusedby the fact that he now had two mothers teasing him, “Don’t worry dear, I’lllend you some money. And happy birthday Ama’,” She smiled at her sweetly.

“Thank you Nox,” Amaterasu also bowed her head to showthanks.

“I’m going to make you wonderful birthday cocktail. You’lllove it. It’s-,” Nox paused, raising a brow (though no one could see it). She’dnoticed that the song that was playing had suddenly been paused. A new songbegan to play and the genre told Nox exactly who the culprit was, “Nemesis?”She turned to see her daughter at the end of the bar, fiddling with a devicethat was presumably connected to whatever sound system that played the music.Nemesis ignored her mother. Nox spoke again with the same tone of voice,“Nemesis, put my playlist back on.”

“Mom, nobody wants to listen to whatever mash-ups you’vefound recently. I’m putting some decent music on,” She replied, just as plainlyas her mother.

“Excuse me, young lady,” Izanami backed-up a fellow parent,“I’ve been coming here for a long time and I’ve never had a problem with yourmother’s taste in music.”

“Thank you Iza’, Nox nodded at Izanami, then turned to faceNemesis again, who still didn’t give her mother any eye contact (though neitherof them could), “It’s funny you should say that Nemesis because I’m pretty sureno one wants to listen to your I’m-going-through-what-I-call-and-emo-phase-but-I’m-really-a-scene-kidmusic.”

Nemesis groaned as she hauled herself away from the device,swinging her head back as if she’d rolled her eyes far too enthusiastically.She sat herself next to Thanatos and the two began talking about how much theirmother’s light-hearted banter irritated them. Chronos seemed somewhatdisenchanted that he was now the third-wheel.

When Nox had finally finished preparing Amaterasu’scocktail, she poured it into an enchanted chalice; in between the base and thebowl of the glass was a small, lit candle which acted as the stem, the heatkeeping the bowl suspended. She placed the glass in front of Amaterasu. How shemarvelled at just the glass alone greatly satisfied Nox.

Amaterasu was eager to try her drink, its orange glowalready putting the fruity taste in her mouth. However, she had no idea how topick up the glass. The wax had already begun to melt and she didn’t want to getburned, “Um, Nox?” She inquired nervously, not wanting to embarrass herself orseem rude. Nox handed Izanami her drink. A quick glance at Amaterasu and sheknew exactly what the problem was. She conjured up a straw and placed it in herglass, “Thank you,” She giggled. She took the straw between her lips and took asip. The liquid felt thicker than it was due to the intensity of the flavours.It was not bitter like most other alcoholic mixes that Amaterasu had tried,which was why she hated them. It also left a pleasant, fruity after taste. Shetook a larger sip, “Mm, it’s dazzling.”

Izanami put down her own drink, “Oh, can I try some?”

“No,” Nox scolded her, “You can have one when it’s yourbirthday.”

“I wish it could be my birthdayeveryday if it meant I could drink this. What’s in it?” Amaterasu had drunkalmost half of the cocktail.

“That’s on a need-to-knowbasis but there’s nothing in there I wouldn’t drink.”

“So there’s a drop ofeverything in there?” Izanami teased.

“I have actually made adrink with a little of everything, all that I had in the bar anyway. That wasthe first alcoholic drink I gave to Thanatos and Nemesis when they were oldenough.” Nox excused herself to go and serve Osiris and Isis who’d arrived atthe bar.

Amaterasu drank the lastfew sips of her cocktail but still continued to pry the glass with her straw inthe hopes of finding a bit more beneath the ice cubes. Izanami cooed at her adorablebehaviour, finding it all the more endearing because she was her daughter. Sheoften found herself in awe at her beauty. She considered it a compliment toherself that she’d created such a beautiful being (ignoring her husband’s rolein the process). It saddened her when she remembered how long Amaterasu hadspent hidden from the world and although it wasn’t because of insecurity, Izanamiwas still concerned for her child. She knew she wouldn’t be able to ask herabout her overall emotions directly as Amaterasu despised talking about herselfand her well-being, not wanting to burden people if she wasn’t feeling herself.Her mother knew she’d have to intricately set up a conversation like that, “Youshouldn’t wish your life away Ama’.”

Amaterasu frowned at her mother’s dreary sentiment, findingit even more irritating that she’d seemingly pulled it out of thin air. She didnot let it show. She had the utmost respect for her mother and would never sassher, “What do you mean?”

“You know? What you said before: about how you wish it wasyour birthday every day. I know we’re immortal but still…”

“It was just a joke Mother,” She spoke with a soft,reassuring tone and was trying as hard as she could not to roll her eyes.

“No, I know that but I just think it’s in bad tastes. You’vebeen stuck in that cave for so long, you need to make up for lost time and notwaste any more.”

Amaterasu couldn’t stop her eyes from widening. This hadtaken a drastic turn. She respected her mother but she didn’t feel comfortabletalking about her time in solitude in a place like this, knowing how other Godsmay feel about her absence, concerned with how she abandoned her people inpursuit of self-pity. That is why she no longer spoke of her feelings toanyone, nor let them show; she just carried on as normal, “Mother, can we not talk about thisnow please?” She politely requested.

“I’m just saying,” Izanami carried on briskly as she knewthat would be her daughter’s response, “You need to start doing the things thatyou’ve always wanted to do. It’s important for me to know that you’re happy.”

“I am happyMother. I’m back to serving my people and providing for them. My brother and Iare talking again. You’re back with us. Our pantheon isn’t collapsing underpetty feuds which I am truly grateful for, “She spoke with a hushed tone,knowing there were both Greek and Egyptian Gods in the room who might takeoffence (even if the shoe fit), “And, I’ve found love,” As she spoke, thefeeling manifested itself inside her and warmed her heart, “There’s still moreI want to do, of course. I’d love to travel to more places and talk with otherpantheons…”

Izanami saw her chance and cut in as soon as there was aslight pause in Amaterasu’s spiel, “If there’s so much you still want to do, isnow really the right time for a relationship?”

Amaterasu’s stomach dropped. She didn’t want to have tojustify her relationship with Bellona to her mother. She couldn’t withouttalking about how much they loved one another and she had a feeling thatwouldn’t satisfy her, not after how cold Izanagi had been towards her; Izanamino longer seemed to care for intense feelings of affection, finding it all aruse. In truth, without that, Amaterasu and Bellona’s relationship seemedhighly inappropriate. They were from different pantheons which wouldn’t comewithout disdain from somewhere. Also, because of that, they barely saw eachother, in person that is. They spoke very often however, taking it uponthemselves to sample mankind’s technology.

Of course, Izanami could simply not like her girlfriendbecause of her personality, and Amaterasu freely admitted that Bellona was ahard person to get along with. Her mother may not simply want her to be in arelationship at all, feeling she was too young. Amaterasu didn’t want to appearas if she was making assumptions about her mother’s true feelings, knowing thatwould anger her, “Is this about Bellona?” She asked, as naturally as she could.Her mother said nothing. Instead, she turned away from her daughter and tookanother sip of her drink, “Do you not like her?” Izanami just shrugged.Amaterasu couldn’t gather anything by her subtleties, becoming increasinglyfrustrated. She blurted out the first thing that came to her, though shecouldn’t quite understand why she thought of it, “Is it because she’s a girl?”

“Don’t be ridiculous Ama’, of course it isn’t,” Izanami wasquick to object, and took another sip of her drink.

She bit her lip. She knew that couldn’t have been it; hermother had never been openly homophobic. At least now she had something to followup on, “I’m being ridiculous? Who turned a jokey statement into a discussionabout whether or not I am truly happy with my life?” Her voice was onlyslightly raised but it still shook her, the way she’d spoken to her Mother.They both seemed shocked, as did nearby bar-goers.

Izanami slammed her glass down onto the bar, attracting evenmore attention, “Well, I’m sorry but I care about your well-being,” She saidsharply, glaring at her daughter, who was aware that other people werelistening in to their conversation.

“I know you do and I appreciate it, I really do,” She wastrying her best not to sound patronising with her hushed voice, also trying toensure that no one else could hear their conversation. She held her Mother’sshoulders and leaned towards her for good measure, “You needn’t worry is what Imean. Me and Bellona are perfectly happy together. We love each other. Eventhough we’re long-distance, we talk every day through messages,” She got herphone out as if she was going to show her mother the messages and prove herpoint. She offered her a glimpse before taking it back and then subtly textingher brother before her mother noticed, as she wasn’t fond of her children beingpermanently glued to their devices (even though that was an exaggeration). Shecontinued to speak to distract her mother from her twiddling thumbs, “We caneven call each other and see each other, so it doesn’t really feel thatlong-distance,” She blatantly lied; she did miss Bellona greatly and wishedthey saw each other in-person more often. Her mother didn’t pick up on this, “Iknow it might not seem like it’s the same thing, but it still works for us. Long-distancedoesn’t affect us greatly.” She locked her phone and looked up. The scowl onIzanami’s face told Amaterasu that she wasn’t quite pacified.

“I can tell you from experience that long-distancecomplicates things massively,” She took another sip of her drink, keeping hereyes locked onto her daughter’s.

Amaterasu scowled back. Her mother clearly hadn’t listenedwhen she’d told her that they were okay with long distance. She knew exactlywhat she was comparing their relationship to in trying to push her daughter toend hers. “Mom, you were dead. And besides, Dad came looking for you, remember?”Amaterasu hit back with the cold, dead truth, dissolving the relation betweenthe two.

“And then left as soon as he saw me,” Izanami still had herstance and persisted, “That’s what they do Ama’. When you’re not pretty enoughto fuck anymore, they move on.” She picked up her glass, only to find it lightwith emptiness. It pushed her over the edge. She dropped the glass as tearsbroke through.

After the way she’d acted, Amaterasu felt little remorse anddid nothing to comfort her mother, “Bellona isn’t like that,” She neverthought that she’d have to defend her girlfriend from the accusation that shehad such a shallow mind-set.

“How do you know? We may be immortal but you’ll stillchange. For fuck’s sake, you’ll still grow old Ama’! What will she think of youthen?” Izanami pried on her daughter’s naivety.

“Bellona isn’t like that,” Shespoke in short, sharp bursts. There was nothing more Amaterasu detested thanpeople not listening to her or acknowledging what she’d said. Her brother hadn’treplied to her message either which was also bringing her to breaking point.She only hoped she’d get a notification soon or he’d appear by the bar.

“Come on Susano, chop chop!” Raijin thundered, tapping hisfoot impatiently.

“Hang-on, I can’t tell if my Heartward Amulet is active ornot,” Susano adjusted the charm around his neck.

“I can help you test that out. I’ll fire an attack and if itdoesn’t hurt as much…”

Susano was suddenly perkier, “Hey. Hey! I said hang-on.”

Raijin sighed and lowered his drumsticks, “I’m pretty sureyou also said that you were really squishy and needed to work on your magicaldefence and I kindly agreed to help you.”

He ignored Raijin because he didn’t have a comeback. The gemat the centre of the amulet began to pulsate with a green glow. He wasconfident that it was working, “I’m never going to have a magic snake hit me inthe private’s ever again,” He cringed when he recalled how much pain he was inwhen Kukulkan had whipped him with his tail. He stopped his train of thoughtbefore he remembered everything else that happened that night, wanting to focuson the task at hand rather than how much he’d embarrassed himself. He turned toface Raijin, “Okay, hit me.” He spread his arms and beckoned him to attack bywiggling his fingers.

“Okay. I hope you’re not wearing anything wet,” Raijinprepared to attack.

Susano felt his side tingle. He leapt into the air,startled, assuming it was Raijin’s attack.

The God of Thunder held up his hands and dropped hisdrumsticks, “It wasn’t me.”

“I know it wasn’t,” Susano felt his hip and pulled his phonefrom a pocket in his shorts.

Raijin groaned, “You still had your phone on you, knowingyou were going to be dealing with electricity.”

“I guess I just forgot,” Susano just shrugged his shoulders.He unlocked his phone and began to read the message from his sister. Dismissinghis reckless behaviour was another one of Susano’s shortcomings which Raijinwas happy to help him correct.

“Unless you’d have had a tiny Heartward Amulet for yourmobile too, I don’t think it would’ve survived even my weakest attack!”

“And that would’ve been my fault, okay? I’d have admittedthat,” Susano held one hand up to signal Raijin to stop talking, and was typingwith the other.

Raijin ignored him, too angered by his disrespect, “You’retexting? You’re really texting when we’re supposed to be practising?”

“Yes, Raijin, I’m texting. I’m texting my sister because shewants us to come and get her.”

Raijin raised an eyebrow, “From Nyx’s? What’s the problem?”He ditched his drums and came closer to Susano, wanting to get a glimpse at themessage. He read them aloud, “Mom’s probing me, come and save me.”

“You know it’s bad because she didn’t use any punctuation,”Susano carried on texting his sister. He said his message as he typed, “On myway so sit tight.” He slipped his phone behind the sash around his waist, “Ama’snever felt so uncomfortable that she’s felt like she wanted to leave somewhere either.Mom must really be laying into her.”

“About the cave incident?”

“Damn, I hope not,” Susano groaned. Now that he and hissister were on good terms, he’d rather just forget about the whole affair, forAmaterasu’s sake, as she despised talking about her inner thoughts, and for hisown, in case their mother thought that he needed some kind of intervention. “Well,we don’t know until we get there. Big-Red, do the honours.” He held out hishands for Raijin’s to hold, that his teleportation ability might transfer tothe both of them and get them there as fast as possible.

Raijin frowned, “I’m pretty sure she just wanted you there,you are her brother after all.”

“You know she thinks of you as just the same. Besides,safety in numbers, especially with my mom involved.”

“And who says I want to get involved?”

“Oh come on! Do it for Ama’.”

There was a flash of blue light and then suddenly,everything was a little bit darker. When Susano had recovered, he’s noticedthey were in Nox’s bar, and everyone else had also noticed their arrival.

“Very subtle Raijin, I must say.”

“Don’t call me ‘Big-Red’ then,” The two noticed they werestill holding hands and simultaneously yanked them away.

They had expected to find Amaterasu and Izanami withrelative ease, trying to spot a blazing argument within an environment that wasusually pretty mellow. They did see them, and immediately went towards them.Their urgency disappeared when they’d finally comprehended what the two of themwere doing. Their demeanour was far from aggressive.

Amaterasu had one arm wrapped around her mother, who wasleaning against her chest, still awkwardly perched on her bar stool. Her eyeswere filled with pools of tears, but she was not sobbing. She was smiling infact. Amaterasu was scrolling through her phone with her free hand, showing hermother her messages to and from Bellona.

“Oh, she calls you drop-dead gorgeous, that’s so cute,” Izanamicooed, sluggishly pointing at the screen and scrolling at her own pace.Amaterasu helped to steady her finger, but she could also flip past anythingshe didn’t want her mother to see. She noticed a picture that was appropriate,for both her mother’s eyes and the occasion.

“She sent me a picture of all of the birthday presents she’sbought for me, all wrapped and ready,” She couldn’t help but shed a tear,overwhelmed by her generosity. So was Izanami.

“She bought you more than one and wrapped them in advance? She’s a keeper.”

Susano was relieved that they weren’t arguing and they wereshedding happy tears. Raijin couldn’t even pretend to be frustrated. They werein a bar; he was hardly inconvenienced by coming out here. He could still have adrink, and would thoroughly tease Susano because he knew he couldn’t. That didn’tseem to be keeping him at bay, even with his Mom right by him. He was stillsauntering towards the bar.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Raijin followed him, “I’mpretty sure you can’t drink.”

“My Mom’s so out of it that I can convince her it’s just anormal cola,” He gave Raijin a wink before settling his elbows on the counter.Nox glided over towards him, a sly smile on her face, “Ah, the ever non-radiantNox. Can I have a double vodka and cola please?”

“I’m pretty sure you’re barred,” Nox would never undermine afellow parent’s punishment. “Besides, you need to stay sober and keep an eye onyour mother and sister. They’ve had a rough night.”

Author’s Notes

Hope you enjoy! @heartlesskitty247

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