#endless nights really does give us so many implications!! without ever really resolving them!!

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

I just finished reading The Endless Nights for the first time and I need to scream about it first if all it's incredible, there is so much that I love about it, and also a lot of stuff I don't really understand (like for example what really happened to Delirium), but this fucking killed me:

Desire was Dream's favourite sibling? And they did that to him? Like Dream's own grudginess aside, I too would have been so pissed at my sibling for something similar.

well that's the thing, right - we don't know if that was desire's fault

mocking him for it, yeah, that was on them, but killalla's actions? dream has always assumed that desire is the one interfering in his love life, but we know a lot of those assumptions are false - desire finds dream's failed love life funny, but they rarely actually interfere in it to cause misfortune

(nada is the only one we know was definitely them, the rest dream just jumped to that conclusion)

and like. yeah, either way their comment was cruel. but they're also surprised after that dream took that so badly, and i do wonder what dream's sense of humour used to be like that it matched with theirs? like dream specifically uses the word funny. and dream and desire have always been so similar, the only real difference between them is that dream views mortals as people he is duty bound to care for, whereas desire views mortals as their playthings. and killalla's one of the first mortals ever, so back then those differences hadn't had a chance to conflict

and i think the interesting thing about dream and desire's feud is that it's impossible to know who really started it. yes, it's entirely possible that desire caused killalla's infidelity entirely to spite dream because it was funny, which is what dream thinks, and he becomes convinced from then on that desire cares for nothing and will take every possible opportunity to fuck him over

but knowing everything we do about desire, if i had to look at this from their perspective, it's also entirely possible they didn't do shit. they thought it was funny how easily mortals succumb to base pleasures, in the same way people might laugh at a video of a pet doing something dumb, because they do not view killalla as dream's equal and probably never did. so when dream gets all offended over them essentially going haha look what your pet did they take that as wow he can't take a joke okay he really needs to get over that one if he's taking that personally

and both of them stick to those initial assumptions and every single thing they've done to each other has been because of those assumptions, getting more and more reinforced every time desire does something cruel to dream and every time dream's ego causes problems for everyone particularly himself

(and like. im not saying desire's in the right here, but i'm also not sure early dream really understood that his girlfriends were people either, see again: nada. like, he changes his mind on nada so fast in season of mists because death pushes him into looking at things from nada's perspective - the first time in 10000 years he's ever even thought to do so. they're on an entirely different playing field here from human morality and it took dream a while to step down from that, desire is yet to do so)

as far as delirium goes, i also have emotions (and an explanation) about that! we're never actually told what set her off, some upheaval in her life (i do wonder how recently after the end of this comic that was, and if it was grief over dream that did this), but strong negative emotions for delirium have always been what pushes her to be less lucid (they're actually what caused her to change from being delight), and this was one of the worst. she got entirely lost in her realm, trapped in a haze where she was no longer even close to resembling a person, just a cloud of delirium that was giving off waves of mind rending power - not even her siblings could get close to her without losing their minds. but barnabas came to find dream and dream recruited volunteers from the people who'd already had their minds touched by her, who were already lost in her realm and thus couldn't become any more broken by getting close to her, to go in and find her

(and we've seen dream navigate delirium's realm, he's pretty good at it, because it's similar to navigating the dreaming - you don't use logic, you can't focus on physical direction or you'll get lost and you being lost will create something terrible, because you navigate them through emotion, through impulse, chasing one feeling as it turns into the next. so dream just had to tell them to focus on a little girl who's hurt, and they'd find her. which they do, and connecting with delirium and bringing that comfort of you're not alone helped pull her back into consciousness. and once she was back to herself, she could lead all of them out, which is why we see those people heal and come home after so long)

(and god i wanna know more about this situation, because destruction came back for her. this is after everything, after destruction left for good and delirium was really hurt that he didn't come back, didn't even show up for dream's funeral - this could also be the inciting incident - destruction came back because del was hurt. he's not taking up his mantle anymore, he kept his word on that, but he promised the family he'd stay and look after delirium until she was feeling better. he didn't come back when she was so sure he would, but he came back when it mattered, because he cares about her so much)

[cyabae]

Bedtime Stories Against the World - Day 14

Day 14: Free day! | The Last Day

Words: 1570

This is it, my final drabble for @kakaobiweek2019 ! It’s been so much fun and I’m kinda sad that this is over.. :’) A huge thank you @withyourrhythm for arranging this, these two weeks have been truly blessed. Also, thanks for fellows participants, the fanart has been so amazing and I have loads and loads of nice looking fics to read during the weekend!

Anyway, this is my good bye & good night as well!

>> AO3 <<

Kakashi opens his eyes.

He feels strangely calm. That’s pretty common for people who are about to die. Kakashi has seen his fair share of death, and he’s been ready to face his own for so long. The floating sensation could suggest that it’s already over but there’s also a sense of nausea caused by a number of conditions including hypoxia and the adrenaline wearing off.

At first, the world seems blurry but the Sharingan can see someone’s chakra. It’s nothing like Kakashi has ever seen before. The flow of it is irregular and the composition seems weird as well. There‘s not much of it.

“So, you woke up after all,” a raspy voice says. The source of it is close by.

It takes a while before Kakashi recognizes the speaker. Sure, he’s heard Obito speaking many times whilst dreaming but the sweet delusions have always lacked the bitter tone that’s present now. Memories from the past lifetimes start to come back.

Kakashi has been happy with Obito for centuries, maybe even more.

And there they are, looking into each other’s eyes, acknowledging that they haven’t even had a chance to be friends.

“Is this your punishment?” Kakashi asks. “Letting me live?” he can’t tell how Obito has managed to do it.

That must’ve taken so much chakra.

“No,” Obito replies. His silhouette is getting much clearer now that the worst dizziness has faded away. He has many human features left. Two hands and two feet but also horns and tails. The dark hair has become white. And even though the Earth has become a pretty dim place, Obito’s skin has a cold, pale undertone. It’s very prominent, especially given how it can be noticed in such circumstances.

The only two sources of light are the crimson moon and the sun that has become a red dwarf. Otherwise, the sky is a pitch black, starless void.

Eons are gone by.

It’s the only rational conclusion, yet Kakashi has a hard time to wrap his head around the idea.

“Then why?” he questions, pulling himself up. “Why don’t you just kill me?”

“You never answered my question,” Obito answers. This time his tone isn’t resentful or acrimonious, it’s just tired. “Why can’t she be alive?”

He hasn’t aged a day from the day he transformed into a demigod but the mismatched eyes show weariness. An eternity alone must’ve been such a long, long time.

All life is gone by now. Miles and miles of solid rock is all that’s left. Obito has created a small shelter – a celestial shield – which is the reason why Kakashi can still breathe. He should feel anger but there’s no point in that. Everything’s gone.

There are no easy answers but coming up with one is worth trying. It’s the only action he can take.

“I don’t know,” Kakashi admits. “I really don’t. But I never hoped for such a solution – I had years to come over my losses, and I think I…” he cuts himself short. He’s uncertain how to put his emotions into words.

He has never stopped missing the people he’d lost. Not his father, not Kushina and Minato and not Rin.

However, all of those people have been long gone and Kakashi has accepted it. He’s mourned for them but he’s also found comfort thinking that he’ll be with them in the afterlife if that exists.

Obito has always been different from them. The uncountable years alone have taught him patience which is probably why he doesn’t rush Kakashi.

But Obito isn’t the only one who has questions to ask.

“There were other ways to bring her back,” Kakashi points out. He says it without judgment, knowing that Obito wanted to give her an eternal life instead of a temporary one. But even one year of existing is much so more than zero. “Weren’t there?”

Obito looks at Kakashi, tired and sad.

“I couldn’t find her.”

He doesn’t specify what he means but it makes sense. The plan to make the world sleep forever isn’t Obito’s own and knowing the cold and calculating reputation of Madara Uchiha, it is entirely possible that Rin’s grave was empty from the very beginning.

Even though Kakashi has always thought that she was brought back home.

“Can’t you dream?” Kakashi asks. “There’s no one else left.”

“You are,” Obito states. “And I don’t have enough chakra for it.”

He sounds like he’s made up his mind a long time ago about it.

But Kakashi has received a way too much extra time without offering anything in return which needs to stop.

“But I have.”

“Yeah, and you’re painfully mortal,” Obito rolls his eyes. The gesture makes him look like a human. He’s gorgeous when he’s unimpressed with Kakashi’s suggestions. “We should have a couple of weeks left,” he states. It’s an implication that Kakashi could spend them wisely instead of being stupid.

However, Kakashi isn’t done. He has had more than enough time. Endless dreams were not his idea of the best possible outcome but despite that, he’s grateful for them. They’ve been truly beautiful.

“My chakra is still usable,” Kakashi conveys. He hasn’t much to give but he can offer that. “You could…”

“Are you fucking stupid?”

For the first time, a spark ignites in Obito’s eyes. They glimmer in the moonlight, sad, angry and confused.

“I…”

“Don’t. Ever. Just don’t,” Obito hisses. “Why are you still such a fucking idiot?” he spits.

Kakashi can’t help but stare at Obito. This intense reaction is familiar from the past. The feisty response is full of emotion but it isn’t cold and spiteful. It’s just disorganized frustration.

Obito bites his lower lip and turns his gaze down. His anger begins to subside, and it is replaced by its opposing force. Kakashi doesn’t dare to name it but he’s not blind to it because they share their vision, and their souls are connected.

Kakashi realizes something he’s already known. Obito won’t operate for selfish reasons, he just isn’t the type. Kakashi isn’t the worthless exception to the rule. Their ugly history won’t change the feelings between them, and those feelings are beautiful.

A monster or not, right now Obito seems just scared and lost.

Kakashi hesitates for a while before placing his hand on Obito’s shoulder. The scaly skin feels different but it is warm.

Obito doesn’t shy away.

He doesn’t draw back even when Kakashi does what he should’ve done when he saw those deep, dark eyes tearing up for the first time. He pulls Obito into a hug.

They stay like that without speaking or trying to make sense out of the situation. Instead, they let the gravity sink in. There’s literally nothing left and it will be a problem. The universe is ancient and dying. Death has proven that it is the greatest force.

But sometimes death rewards those who’re smart enough to avoid it. A few extra years can be earned.

Kakashi pulls Obito tighter against his chest.

“’m so sorry,” Obito whispers as Kakashi runs his fingers through the white locks.

“Don’t be,” Kakashi gently scolds. Perhaps the rest of the world wanted Obito to regret his actions but everyone else is long gone, and Kakashi doesn’t need an apology. He’s gotten more than anyone could ask for, he’s had many happy lives. He wants to give something in return. “We’ll find a way to fix this.”

Obito lets out a shaky laugh.

“C’mon,” it isn’t a belittling comment. If there was a solution to this, Obito would’ve reversed the damage by now. He hasn’t been able to do that, not on his own. However, now that Kakashi is there…

There is one idea that seems worth trying.

Kamui is the strongest time-space out there. Nothing has ever come even close to it, and it hasn’t been used with the both Sharingan activated.

Kakashi explains this, and strangely enough, Obito doesn’t cut him off.

Or maybe it does make sense.

They are the last two people alive and each other’s best security.

“If we can go back in time,” Kakashi knows it’s a big if, “we can still save Rin. It’s not going to be easy, and the world is going to be far from perfect. But she could live a normal life. A happy one. We’ll make sure that she gets a chance.”

“That’s a horrible plan,” Obito comments but he hasn’t refused to consider it. “We’ll go with that.”

Kakashi smiles.

The end can’t be avoided forever but it can be delayed, and this is what Obito knows.

Kakashi has seen his fair share of death. He’s witnessed a handful of peaceful departures and dozens of demises that weren’t pretty at all. There are many ways to go but what unites them is the element of regret. People tend to wish that they’d done more instead of less.

“Looks like we have much planning to do then,” Kakashi comments.

Obito nods and allows Kakashi to press a tiny kiss on his cheek. Technically speaking, they might represent opposing sides in a conflict that hasn’t been resolved, and they’ve never been friends but there is a new alternative, a truly pleasant one.

If this plan works…

If…

They’ll have one more life to figure out whether they could be lovers for real. It’s an interesting thought experiment and a great little side cause.

In fact, it’s another goal to obtain or die trying.