#entoire

[kit-just-kit]

"The kids're a' me da's...we go' the entoire house ta ourselves. We don't even make it till dinner 'cause we can't wait ta ge' ta the bedroom where I eat ye out. Teasin' ye a' first; droivin' ye ta the edge bu' no' ye' givin' ye wha' ye want..."

BLURTS!

"You know, I don't know if I like your mouth better when you're talking about doing those things, or when you're actually doing them.......maybe give me a little taster so I can properly compare?".

[suledins]

JOE KEERY as Walter “Keys” McKey in FREE GUY (2021).

[ericbrandonrp]

Eric - tell us all about Niamh! Who does she look like? Which personality traits has she gotten from you and Kit? What do you see for her future? JUST TALK ABOUT THAT CUTE IRISH BEAN OF YOURS!!!!!!!!

Random Questions!!

“Lemme tell ye, she’s the most beautiful lil lass in the world, an’ if any boy ever looks a’ her in a way I don’t loike, he’s gonna lose a couple fingers.”

“Uh, anyway…Niamh, she…definitely go’ the hair from me – obviously – bu’ she go’ her smoile from her mum. No’ sure ‘bout the eyes. The colour’s from me, bu’ I’d say the shape’s from Kit? Personality traits…I guess she go’ me temper, she can really throw a fit, an’ she can wrap ye ‘round her lil finger loike her mother can whenever she wants somethin’. She’s a’so jus’ as koind an’ empathic loike her, she cares a lo’ ‘bout other people, an’ ‘specially animals. Maybe she’ll become a therapist or vet some day, bu’ tha’s gonna be entoirely Niamh’s decision. As long’s she’s no’ gonna become a copper or somethin’…bu’ for now I don’t wanna think ‘bout those koinda things. I jus’ wanna enjoy the toime we have with her. She’ll be an adult for most’f her loife, anyway, now she’s jus’ me baby.”

[a-kitten-with-claws-archived]

@ericbrandonrp​ sent "Oh. Oh god, I--I forgo' 'bout tha', I--sorry, Kit. I'm sorry. I, uhm---look, I'll be there the entoire toime, a'righ'? I won't let him outta soight - no' for a single second." He reaches out to gently caress her cheek with his fingers. "Nothin's gonna happen ta him, I promise ye. I'll teach him in our swimmin' pool, no' in a lake or where others are. Jus' - us. A'righ'?"  as a random ask!

“No....baby, it’s okay. I’m over-sensitive about it, I know. And please don’t ever imagine it’s because I don’t think you’re capable of teaching him. It’s more.....you know me Eric, I worry. Worrying is my ‘thing’ and it makes me a pain in the arse to deal with some times....”. 

[adleryoung]

"Ye do know, lad," Estvan stated with a suspicious squint at me, "that when ye introduce water to somethin' flammable, it stops bein' flammable at all, at all?"

"Of course I know that!" I protested.  "For Fuma's sake, give me a little bit of credit!  I'm not a complete moron, you know!  And besides, aren't you forgetting that Irenaeus once set fire to a river?  If he could do it, why couldn't I?"

"Sure an that was after he poured barrels of oil on it," Estvan remarked.  "An you, me boyo, are no Irenaeus."

"Well, mister smarty-pants," I sneered.  "I wasn't steaming the exploding-powder with water.  I was steaming it with alcohol, so there."

"Oh well begorrah, that's entoirely different," Estvan noted inscrutably.  "Look, lad, let's just get into the scryin' devoice an foind me dear woife an son, shall we?  The sooner oi'm gone, the sooner ye can continue yer wee experiments, bedad."

[indigopurple]

What's the differecne bwpteen a Hot Take and a stupid headcanon

Also what does op stand for other than One Piece cuz ppl use it for many other conversation topics

Also i thought ngl was just a noise ppl made that indicated (conversation topic) was a big mood . yet I wasnt entoirely wrong ╮(─▽─)╭

[bxrningambitions]

"Her? Eve? Oh, nobody - jus' the woman tha' saved me arse multiple toimes and showed me an entoirely new world. Literally. I'm totally no' fallin' for her. Nope."

“Part of that statement is true, the other, well, we can let him believe it for as long as he wants, I can wait forever.” 

[syntaxeme]

@bucketofchum replied to your post: I went to college…to learn to do the creative...

“I’m July Morgan. I have jet black hair and skin almost as dark. My breasts are humble but perky and nicely separated. My waist is narrow, but since I also have slim shoulders, I think they are fairly proportional. My hips are a bit too wide for my liking - the long dresses that I often wear tend to ride up, revealing more skin than I am comfortable with. My lips are full and luscious. I was always bullied because of them when I was younger so I am self conscious of that.”

1) I really thought you were about to pull a “my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way” on me and I was going to SCREAM because July does not deserve that. Nytep maybe but not July

2) Sadly, owing to the need to display everyone’s thought processes all at once, I’ve been forced to write this book in third-person--in fact, I’m not even sure I know how to write first-person well anymore. I’ve gotten too used to using my own voice as the narrator. >_>

3) July is entoirely too modest to mention anything about her breasts being perky or her lips being luscious... 

4) ...that being said, I might actually use some of these descriptors so thank you. ^^

[vibranium-coochie]

I hate i just remembered my nightmare!!! I was forced to go to a to a poetry club and there were people doing like poetry but it was so weird beacuse it was white people doing spoken word to the sound of like drums idk how they called. We call it batuque but yeah and i had to endure some weird ass shit, and i was liek ??? And then this bear sat next to me tryna slide(he was kinda cute but entoirely wrong setting) and went on like i love this one its so deep and meaningful and soulful, and asked me of my interpretation of it and i was screaming because it was a really telling poem what was mostly noise anyway he got drunk and cried in my arms about his ex who wasnt shit n i felt bad so i stayed and took him home safely with a vow never to put my feet in that place again and huge hopes nobody would ever recognise me from there.

[shoesggdb-blog]

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[salecheapsneakers-blog]

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[ericbrandonrp]

"A friend of mine asked if I could babysit his daughter.. do you think you could handle a ten year old that's far too smart for her age? At least for a weekend?"

@eliseelinaeriksson

“Wai’…a—an entoire weekend? Ye sure? I mean, I do loike children – when it’s me own. Bu’ a stranger’s ki’? Ye’re no’ gonna leave me ‘lone with her, though, righ’?”

“This isn’t some therapy thing?”

[adleryoung]

"Well, if that's going to be your attitude then I'm not giving it back," I sneered.

"Sure an oi'm sorry, boyo," Estvan whimpered.  "But oi NEED me stick.  Please give it back."

"It's a nice stick," I mused.  "I'm starting to like it.  I think I might just keep it for myself."

"NO!  Ye can't do that at all, at all," Estvan gekkered feebly.  "Please oh please boyo, give it back.  Oi'll waste away an doie without it.  Come on now, sure an if ye give it back oi'll teach ye the Saint Reynard Course o' Dynamic Japes!"

"Self defense, already I am teaching him," Sam interjected.

"The Saint Reynard Course is boy no means self-defense," Estvan protested.  "But sure it's cram packed with all the voital skills an elf o' distinction would need!  Are ye toired o' lettin' lowfolk boss ye around?  Oi can show ye -"

"If you want your shillelagh back, you have to promise not to hit me," I demanded.

"Sure lad, sure, oi won't hit ye," Estvan groveled.  "Just give me back me wee shillelagh."

"You have to SWEAR it," I insisted.

"Oi just told ye oi wouldn't hit ye," Estvan growled, giving me a dark look.  "Elves do not loye, boyo, or would ye be afther doubtin' me word?"

"You have to SWEAR that you won't hit me or otherwise harm me," I persisted.  "Or you'll never touch this stick again."

"Swearin o' the oaths is un-elfly," he protested.

"Guess I just got me a fine new shillelagh then," I scoffed.

He glared at me for a long, uncomfortable minute.  I could see anger and resentment in his eyes .. and behind them, something else .. pain?  Fear??  I had never noticed how OLD Estvan was.  I guess I had never really looked that closely at him before.  The realization began to disturb me, a little.  I crossed my arms and turned away, trying to play it cool.

"Foine," Estvan sighed.  "You win.  Oi swear before Fuma, by oak an' by thorn, that oi won't harm a hair on yer head -"

"That you won't harm ME in any way," I corrected.

"That oi won't harm ye in any way," he concluded with an even darker glower.  "Are ye satisfoid?"

"That's binding," I said, as I handed Estvan's shillelagh back to him.

As soon as he touched it, his eyes brightened and his ears perked up.  He grasped it with both hands and hauled himself to his feet.

"Everything that's happened," I said, cautiously.  "It wasn't my fault."

"Sure, oi'm willin to believe twas all just a horrible accident," he shrugged wryly.  "But me next question is, what is it yer plannin' to DO about it?  How is it yer gonna make amends, boyo?"

"I haven't been idle since the disaster at Albric Tor," I stated proudly.  "Remember how you saw the Duchess fleeing in such a panic that she didn't even notice you?  Well, that was entirely due to my efforts.  You see, what she was running from was a Shrub army which was coming for me, but I tricked them into attacking her and disrupting her operations in Percysthorpe."

"Sure an' would that be the same verdant army that surrounds yer prison roight now?" Estvan quipped, looking around.  "A fleein' Duchess isn't exactly a defeated Duchess.  Meanwhoile you, me lad, are trapped.  Oi can't say as that's a foine job at all, at all."

"Look," I sighed.  "Things were going well.  I had some lowfolk lackeys and an almost foolproof strategy, but it all fell apart when I nipped back to Faerie to make some explosives, and experienced a teporal discrepancy which had me returning here a year after the battle was over!  If I had been here to supervise, things would have gone a lot better!  But as it was, no sooner had I turned around than my minions had gotten married and the forest had surrounded me!  These time jumps are a problem!  Is there any way to avoid them?"

"Sure, boyo," Estvan explained.  "Just don't travel between worlds an' ye'll have no problem with 'em at all, at all."

I looked crestfallen at him while he snickered.  "Seriously?"

"Aye, that's the foolproof method," he chuckled.  "Sure there's another way, but it involves a bit o' math, an oi never had a head fer figures.  An oye fer figures, sure, but that's an entoirely different subject." he added with a wink.  "If ye must travel twixt worlds, it helps if ye Pook rather than usin' the Gates."

"Gentlemen," Sam interrupted as he held two steaming cups of tea out to Estvan and myself.  "Glad to see I am that your disagreement you can overcome.  Some tea, please have.  Mend your wounds, it will."

I sipped the tea and almost gagged.  "UGH!  What is this?"

"Ham, all is," Sam intoned mystically.

"Soup, is what oi would have called it," Estvan opined as he savored the brew's salty, meaty taste.

"Drink up," Sam insisted.  "All better, your boo-boos it will make.  When healed you are, then time it will be to move past your past mistakes, and upon defeating your mutual enemies, your efforts focus."

"Have we a mutual enemy?" Estvan mused aloud.

"The Duchess, maybe," I suggested.  "You seem to have an old grudge with her, and she's the one who gave me the Plague of Battles in the first place."

"Aye, but twasn't the Duchess that put me sweet Sofie up to the task o' trappin her dear old Papa in a tree at all, at all," Estvan muttered with a scowl.

"And it wasn't the Duchess who actually showed up to distract me and make me toss the vial of Plague onto the battlefield," I said, with a glare at my Ixies.

"It wasn't the Duchess who paid most of our contracts," Typantronn explained nervously.  "The majority of our work at that time was from ..."

"VULPITANIANS," we all declared simultaneously.

"Enemies did I say?" Sam waffled.  "Goals I meant!  On achieving your mutual goals, time it is to focus!"

---

Hey y’all, I could use a morale boost.  Tumblr doesn’t count page views; the only stat I get to see is the number of likes .. so, for all I know there’s only three people reading this thing now, which doesn’t really justify the effort of updating it every week.  If you’re enjoying the Ballad I would appreciate it if you’d let me know by clicking the little heart icon.  It only takes a second and it doesn’t hurt at all, I promise!

[ericbrandonrp]

H, O, B & R,N,K,L

@thegreatworkofmagic

Let’s get really personal For Eric

H: If you knew your girlfriend/boyfriend would be truly happier without you, would you leave?

“Yes. I’d luv ta be selfish, bu’ in tha’ ma’er I jus’ couldn’t be. If she isn’t happy with me, it won’t do either’f us any good. Sometoimes ye jus’ go’a le’ go, I guess...”

O: Are you open minded, or do you judge people and things before you give them a chance?

“Uh...well, the brain works faster, so I automatic’lly judge people before I know ‘em. Ev’ryone does, though, righ’? I mean, even if ye don’t wanna. I’m open ta learnin’ more ‘bout someone, though.”

B: Do you miss your ex? What would you do to get them back?

“Me...? Ye mean tha’ feckin’ cunt’f an ex-woife? Shite, I’d rather boite me own leg off than ta see tha’ bitch ‘gain. Tha’s a ‘no’.”

R: Religion, what is yours? Do you believe in a god?

“Never believed in any’f those things, an’ thankfully me parents didn’t force me ta, either. I’m a proud atheist.”

N: Would you consider yourself vain or narcissistic?

“No? I mean, there’s some, uh, aspects in loife where I’m a bi’ selfish. Of course, bu’ isn’t ev’ryone? I wouldn’t say I’m narcissistic, though. I don’t even take selfies.”

K: Would you ever kill someone? What would be a good reason?

“...depends on the situation. If a luved one was in danger...ja, I’d go so far.” // He suppresses that memory, but Eric has actually killed someone when he was around 20 years old. Good luck getting that info out of him!

L: Have you ever told a big lie, one that you felt bad for? Did you ever come clean?

“Ye know wha’ I do for a livin’? Me entoire loife’s a lie. Feelin’ bad ‘bout a lie, though? Koinda no’, ta be honest...guess I’m losin’ count’f lies I been tellin’.”

[ericbrandonrp]

open ||

The thief bit down on his lip for a moment, thinking about his choice of words that were coming next. It was a delicate matter, and he probably had only one chance to win the other over. “Okay, so...why I wanted to talk t’ye...” Eric began, sucking in a breath. “Ever heard ‘bout Cannonball Runs?” He didn’t wait for an answer and coninued without a break. “Basically it’s...quoite...illegal. It’s a street race with ordinary cars, fifty droivers, through the entoire country - and I need a, uh, co-pilot. Wha’ d’ye think?”

[ericbrandonrp]

@bxrningambitions​​ asked: 🔮

Send 🔮 and my muse will predict your muse’s future! || accepting: NO

He has seen fortune tellers, but never went to one because he doesn’t believe in such things. It is a waste of time in his eyes, some fun thing to do when bored. Like now. Having thrown a shirt over his head, Eric takes a close look at Eve’s palm. “Whoooooo…there’s…loines on yer hand! One for ev’ry sin ye committed. Tsk, tsk, tsk…so many sins. Bad girl. There’s…a future, too, though. A broight one. Oh! Ye met someone! Annnd…there’s feelin’s involved, isn’t there?” he jokes. “Ye’re showin’ him an entoirely new world, showin’ him yer way of livin’. Yer future’s…there’s a wall’f mist, tho’…and dark clouds ahead. Many dark clouds. Ooooh, no’ good. No’ good! Ye’re savin’ a lo’a good-lookin’ arses – no, wai’, it’s a’ways the same one. Bu’! He’ll show himself very grateful…oh! Naughty!”