Text
Our hero, Major John Sheppard is stationed at McMurdo base in Antarctica at the start of the series. We learn that he likes it there. Sheppard himself tells Teyla in Sateda (S03E04): "Well, that [having no social skills] is why I enjoyed flying choppers in the most remote part of my world before all this craziness."
This is what John Sheppard tells us but we learn that what he tells us is not always the truth and certainly not the whole truth.
The alien AI that created a hallucination from Sheppard's own subconscious in Remnants (S05E15) poses him the question: "You're either someone with a death wish or someone running away from something. So tell me: what are you running away from?" Running away to the most remote part of his world, running away to another galaxy.
In fact, he has both been banished to and self-isolated in the most remote part of his world ("You torture yourself every day, John.") due to his "black mark" acquired in Afghanistan. We are never explicitly told what this black mark was, only that it bothered Gen. O'Neill and was something that Dr. Weir could live with. We are left wondering.
While we are shown something of what happened in Afghanistan during the episode Phantoms (S03E09), through the hallucinations from Sheppard's past of him failing to save Capt. Charlie Holland, it isn't until toward the end of the series that we find out what happened through the mirror of a parallel reality in Vegas (S05E19), where alt!Rodney tells us "You were a helicopter pilot in Afghanistan but were dishonourably discharged for disobeying orders and trying to rescue a field medic trapped behind enemy lines. You were shot down – obviously survived, but unfortunately the crash killed four American soldiers along with eight civilians. You avoided jail time; the record was sealed for various political reasons."
The field medic in the Vegas-verse, one where "infinite variations of our own known reality where alternate versions of you and I play out events", is female; this revealed in a mumbled 'ur' (I didn't even catch it on first viewing even though I knew about the gender swap in advance; it might just as well have been "knew 'em") in alt!Rodney's line: "That field medic – the one you defied orders to go back and try and rescue. You knew her personally. You were... involved."
This was one of the differences between the two realities, perhaps even the most defining one of them, the point of divergence.
Vegas Sheppard dies to the tune of Johnny Cash's Solitary Man because that's what he was, a recluse (and note that the importance of Johnny Cash was underlined in the episode by Sheppard taking nothing but his poster, the same Johnny Cash poster that our Sheppard had in his quarters for all of the five years, with him once he walked away from his job; it carries weight):
I know it's been done havin' one girl who loved me Right or wrong, weak or strong Don't know that I will, but until I can find me The girl who'll stay and won't play games behind me I'll be what I am
But our Sheppard is not a Solitary Man (he has self-confessedly found something of a family in Pegasus). He's the Man in Black (in fact, he is dressed in black throughout the series even in situations where other fatigues would have made more sense; it is only in the very last episode that we see him in lighter colours):
I'd love to wear a rainbow every day And tell the world that everything's okay But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back 'Til things are brighter, I'm the man in black
We know the background. When the series begun, DADT was still in full effect, the franchise had a long-standing co-operation with the USAF, Prop 8 was still several years into the future. The non-normative sexual orientation of an All-American Action Hero was never going to be main-text. Even heterosexual romance between characters was mostly eschewed by the franchise. But damn if the subtext doesn't lay it out thick for us.
There are so many obvious parallels and comparisons in the show that I need to write them down somewhere, and while this is a day late and a dollar short, this fandom could do with some meta. So this marks the beginning of my journey through Stargate Atlantis with an eye on its bisexual protagonist.
#stargate atlantis#sga#john sheppard#sheppard is bi#sga meta#ep. phantoms#ep. vegas#ep. sateda#ep. rising#ep. remnants
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stargate Atlantis S03E04 ↳ RFW's Favorite Stargate Whump Moments
#stargate atlantis#john sheppard#whumpedit#tranqulizer dart#drugged#passing out#collapse#unconscious#ep: sateda#sga 3x04#joe flanigan
137 notes
·
View notes
Note
What are your top five episodes?
Good morning Anon,
I'm assuming you're asking about SGA. :)
It's incredibly hard to pick just 5, so I hope it's okay if I give you one from each season?
Letters From Pegasus This episode is important to me because although it's clearly a cheap, filler ep, it's also one where we get a deeper insight into the characters that shapes our understanding of who they are and why they do what they do, and it was the episode that really flipped this from a SciFi show that I loved to a SciFi show that I had to write stories about.
Grace Under Pressure This is an absolutely exceptional mirror of SG1's Grace, and DH and AT are wonderful in it. (Also, John's really showing his worry here...)
Sateda/The Real World I'd be lying if I said Tao of Rodney wasn't one of my favourite episodes of all time (so much McSheppy potential in that one), but I adore both Sateda and The Real World for the insights into Ronon and Elizabeth, two characters that the writers very obviously found difficult to work on (which is dumb as heck...intergalactic diplomat and survivalist, warrior poet? So much potential...y'all really dropped the ball.) The first time I watched these two episodes I was both engaged and disappointed, happy to learn more about them and a bit irked that neither episode had ramifications later on.
The Last Man It's hard to pick for season 4, but the entire premise of this episode is great. Hologram Rodney? Check! Implausible sci-fi time travel? Check! What could have been? Check! JFlan's micro expressions in the face of Rodney's historical demise? Check!
The Shrine No surprises here. The first time I watched this I was convinced that Rodney's mental decline was going to be written and shown in a way that was going to piss me off, but they pulled it off and it seemed natural and realistic. I loved the conflict vis-à-vis the shrine itself, and I loved the clear struggles of the people around Rodney. Jeannie's reaction was just heart breaking. And John. JFC.
Can I have a runner up? Because Vegas is *chef's kiss* and (even more) dysfunctional John and (even more) acerbic Rodney saving the world? 🖤
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ronon in this ep not knowing what a television, thinking of it as a box people watch is funny, but then I remember Sateda at the very least had a radio network and a radio in his home and now I’m sad.
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
[SGA] 3.04: Sateda
And again. A forest. Although the light here is interesting…
Uh-oh, Rodney’s got a vibe.
“I don’t know how you tell them [worlds] apart” Me neither John, me neither.
Um… wat?
All John said was “Hi”
What the…
That guy just shot Rodney in the ass.
“What the hell did you do to these people?”
Holy crap that arrow almost went clean through the tree…
Blow darts?? Oh fuck… Fuck fuck fuck.
This won’t end well… at least Rodney made it home to tell the tale…
“Oh crap” Yah think John??
It’s not like Ronon did it on purpose bro.
Sacrifice??
“He prefers Ronon. Probably also prefers not to be sacrificed to the Wraith.”
Oh… oh fuck. That’s an active transmitter.
Please tell me Rodney is awake now…
Oh… he’s awake… and high af.
“Have you seen a guy around? He looks like you, but with messy hair. I think I lost him somewhere. And a… And a pretty girl and a caveman.”
“Excuse me, why am I lying here?”
Ronon getting wild.
He’s got that crazy eye.
Uh-oh…
John isn’t happy with this turn of events… Neither is Teyla. Damn, I think I’m gonna relisten to ‘Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves’ tonight.
The lighting for this ‘planet’ is perfect for the crazy slant to the ep.
Damn, that was a gambit and a half.
*whimpers*
Nooo… I don’t want the Wraith to get Ronon. I like him dammit.
Ugh, this is one ugly dude. Hey, wait a minute, where’s your Queen?
I’m sure it’s a bitchy move, but I kinda feel like this village got what it deserved for thinking they could bargain with the Wraith.
Is that where I think it is… yep. It’s Sateda.
Aww. Baby Ronon is a badass… Adult Ronon needs a hug. And a gun.
What’s with the goggles? Totally not in fashion this year.
Seriously, the goggles? Wraith naturally have night vision, so why was he wearing them?
Go Ronon, Go! Yay! Fight! Win! Kill!!
Oh wow, John that was awful.
Wait… so we could help other Runners?
After Ronon, of course.
But, we could track and help the Runners?
Ugh. That’s cheating, using your strange hover-ball-thingy.
So you drop out of Hyperspace on the other side of the planet, deploy a jumper, and then retreat to behind the moon or something. Duh!
Ha! John agrees with me!
“I won’t bail you out if you get in trouble.” “You say that as if we’re always getting in touble.”
*sniffles*
Sadness, these flashbacks are sad. ;w;
This Wraith has no idea what’s about to hit him…
They never look up… *sighs*
Dumbass.
Kill the sphere!! Kiillll it!!
Grenade!!
More sad flashbacks.
Holy craaaapppp.
John trying to have a heart to heart with Teyla and her having to fill in the blanks.
Ronon? You okay buddy? Please don’t die…
Is… is he wearing boxers with Lemons on them? That’s twisted.
Seeing burnt out hospitals breaks my heart��
Where are all the bodies though?
There were a lot of people in there.
Oh god…
Jfc. Hurry up John!
“It seems Ronon doesn’t want to leave.” “Well, too bad! You tell that ungrateful example of unevolved humanity that we came all this way to rescue him, so he’d better get off his–” “McKay says he’s very hurt you won’t come with us.”
Pfft.
Boys! Focus!
“I got six, Teyla got..” “Eight” “I got nine, Teyle got eight, Ronon got the rest.” *Teyla glowers*
What was that? Some kind of war dance?
This isn’t going so well….
“If he doesn’t like it, he can sue me.” *Carson kills the Wraith*
Time to go!
“Which one of you killed the Wraith?”
*Ronon hugs Beckett*
“I could have killed him at any time, but Teyla wouldn’t let me.”
*Ronon passes out*
“Who’s flying the ship?” “Me?” *John gives Rodney the Look.”
#sga#stargate#stargate atlantis#stargate 365+1#3x04#sga 3x04#day 252#sateda#sga: sateda#gif: jumpingpuddles
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
i reached S3 Ep4 -“Sateda” in my Stargate Atlantis rewatch the other day and tbqh the entire time i was watching the ep i felt like i was having an epiphany about what exactly James Wan means when we says that he wants Aquamamoa to be the Wolverine of the DCEU....
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
prime has some of these eps all fucked up. first the last two eps of season two were switched, now they have sateda labeled as irresistible and this is why I have trust issues.
0 notes
Text
The Defiant One, Pt. 1
I've thought about where I would have placed 38 Minutes (S01E04) that seemed to fit ill so early in the season, and I think it would have made the most sense between the mid-season two-parter and The Defiant One (S01E12), discussed here.
The Genii siege visibly changes something between Sheppard and McKay, and we get to resolve that a little too fast in this episode that follows directly after. 38 Minutes has that strange almost-confession to Weir,* which would have made more sense here as Weir and Sheppard seem to grow closer at the end of The Eye (S01E11) although, I argue, it is precisely because Sheppard needed to create distance between himself and McKay that they did. He was using Weir to create distance, in effect hiding behind her, because Kolya figured out after like a minute of talking to Sheppard that McKay was the best way of getting to him. Sheppard was reminded of the fact that being important to him put McKay in mortal danger.
In 38 Minutes, we also have Sheppard's own near death experience and everyone working so very hard to save him, McKay worrying so much about him, the way that they look at each other, that something unspoken lingering between them, McKay's agitation over what ever Sheppard wanted to tell Weir; all of that would have made sense between these two episodes. The Iratus bug could have symbolized Sheppard's internal anguish: the way he's in agony at first and then the pain gets so bad that he gets numb and loses all feeling. It all would have made so much sense.
But regardless, we start the episode with a driving flying lesson (which, incidentally, also would have made the most sense following the events where both Sheppard and the other designated pilot were incapacitated at the same time). McKay received the ATA gene therapy and Sheppard is teaching him how to fly the puddle jumper. Where the previous episode ended with Sheppard very clearly wanting to create distance between them, here they are all cozy with each other again. Or s it seems.
Clearly, this is important. As mentioned previously, they need more pilots since there are few people with the ATA gene (two that we know have the real gene, a few others through gene therapy), and only a fraction of them know how to fly. It's important not only for the mission and taking the pressure off the commander having to do transport flights, it's also important for the team to have another person capable of doing it. And apparently neither Teyla nor Ford are able to do it (toward the end of the episode, they have a random soldier having to fly them over) which makes McKay not only the best choice but also the only one.
So whether he wanted to or not, what ever he was feeling inside, teaching Rodney how to fly the jumper was something that needed to be done. And here we are.
What Sheppard says is very interesting.
Granted, we don't know anything about his background at this point, often the way people talk to others reveals a lot about how they've been talked to in the past. It indicates that when ever he did something wrong as a child, he was corrected by snapping at him. My guy, you're in space. What could possibly happen if he lets go of the controls? You're going to veer off and crash into some more space?
It's also notable that he uses 'parents' instead of 'dad' or 'father' (both being that he is a guy and as dads are much more likely to be the one teaching kids how to drive; also, he himself was clearly taught by a driving instructor but teaching your kids how to drive is actually pretty common, it's a loving thing to do, and parents are supposed to be teaching their kids even in the case that they have an instructor, as kids learn by watching their parents whether they want it or not). So, you know. He has a mysterious past and a sad childhood, looks like.
Granted, McKay also seems to have had a pretty crappy childhood and, what's worse, seems to think it was all completely normal. We hear him reveal all manner of child abuse casually, here and there. It seems that they both were lonely and sad but for different reasons. McKay's immediate gut response "Snapping doesn't help!" is likewise telling, indicates that there was a lot of pressure put on him from a very young age.
Sheppard's use of the word 'parent' also creates distance between him and one or both of his parents. This man has been court-martialed, he has clearly been traumatized by something. He does not think he has anyone waiting for him back on earth. We know at this point that several people he served with have died, and that he blames himself for every one of these deaths. And he's not good at dealing with emotions, especially difficult ones. He says as much in Sateda (S03E04):
Sheppard: Look, Teyla. I'm not really good at, uh... Actually, I'm... I'm terrible at expressing... I don't know what you'd call it, uh... Teyla: Feelings? Sheppard: Yeah, sure,
He is terrible at expressing feelings. He especially has trouble verbalizing them.
When he is feeling difficult emotions, he uses self-soothing techniques (see the lip thing). One of these self-soothing techniques is creating distance between himself and the object of his emotion. So, instead of father he says parent (mom+dad) because he essentially uses the less significant, less painful thing (mom) to conceal the more significant, more painful thing (dad). Using the less significant object to create distance to the more difficult object forms like a barrier between him and an emotion he does not want to or can't face or deal with just then. Just like, in the previous episode, he used "Weir and McKay" instead of McKay. He was using the less significant, less important thing to mask the more significant, more important thing. It lessens the impact of the emotion attached to it. We see him do this a lot especially in connection to Rodney ("Even Rodney"). Again and again and again.
You can see him do the self-soothing lip thing before engaging McKay (like he's not sure he should say anything, like he wants to not have to say anything; he just can't help himself when it comes to this man):
Here, he is creating distance between himself and one or even both of his parents (and let's face it, it's probably the dad) but he's also, at the same time, creating distance between himself and McKay both by using the passive voice and lumping McKay into the category of kids. See previous episode as to why he desperately needs this distance between them.
But what he is actually saying here is that he is emotionally too close to McKay to be able to be an effective instructor to him. That's what he is saying. He's emotionally compromised. Now, whether you think his feelings are fatherly (he does not look at McKay the way a father looks at a son), friendly (he does not look at McKay the way a friend looks at a friend), collegial (he does not look at McKay the way he looks at Ford and Teyla), or whether you believe he thinks of himself as McKay's second uncle third removed, this is what he's saying in the scene. That he's too close to McKay to be able to teach him. He feels that he is too close to McKay.
It's possible that the whole reason as to why he's teaching McKay how to navigate the jumper is that it would allow him not to have to accompany him on these kinds of missions, harmless and scientific. If McKay knows how to fly a jumper, they would be able to spend less time together. Spending less time together would mean less emotion, would mean less pain, less of a chance for him to get McKay hurt or killed. This is foolish to think, of course, since absence has a tendency of making the heart grow fonder, as the saying goes. But we saw him start creating this distance between them at the end of The Eye (S1E10) and this is on par, is a logical continuation of that.
Humour, as it turns out, is another way of creating distance and coping with difficult emotions.
We are again reminded of the fact that McKay does not know not to keep it straight. Sheppard can do it in the air but not on land.
So, the thing is. As much as Sheppard wants to create distance between them, Mckay wants the opposite. He wants to connect with the Major. He's not making it easy for Sheppard. In this, he is defying him.
McKay tells Sheppard that he's touched by his sentiment. Keeps glancing at him. He refers to the puddle jumper, for all intents and purposes Sheppard's puddle jumper, as baby. He wants to see what this baby can do. Baby is a term of affection used most often by men to indicate that they see something or someone as soft and beautiful and needing to be taken care of in a gentle way. There is definitely something flirty in McKay using this term for Sheppard's puddle jumper.
But then Sheppard picks this up from McKay and also calls the jumper baby (yes, he's amused by the way McKay said it and ribbing on him, but picking up vocabulary from the object of your affection is yet another classic sign of attraction). They are taking care of the baby together. Parents, kids, babies. Freud probably would have a lot to say about the things they say and their subconscious desires.
Freud might also have something to say about Sheppard's fear that McKay is going to "snap the damn things off" if he doesn't ease up his grip on the control stick. But he doesn't want McKay to take his hands off them, either. He's instructing McKay on exactly how it likes to be held.
(We are also reminded of subconscious desires by the control display popping up, seeing how the puddle jumpers respond to Sheppard's mind; his desires.)
They are accompanied on the mission by two red shirts, random scientists we have never seen before but who we are to believe have worked with McKay previously and know him pretty well.
So, maybe it's because of the intense, borderline erotic look of concentration on McKay's face or his tone of voice, or what ever, Sheppard seems to start gravitating toward McKay. Even in front of two people he barely knows that work for the other man. Here, he turns back to look at Dr. Gaul, clearly amused by how different this scientist is from his scientist, but what he's doing at the same time is lean closer to Rodney:
He looks... turned on, frankly. And he sure as hell is not turned on by Dr. Gaul, sweating though he may be. The reason that he turned back to look at the nauseous scientist behind him might actually have been just to look away from the sex faces McKay is making while he's concentrating real hard.
Then he leans in even closer, to whisper conspiratorially to McKay. And McKay, well. He leans in, as well.
Sheppard: Why'd you choose this guy for the mission? McKay: Brendan's the one who discovered the Lagrange Point satellite was out here. Elizabeth felt he should see it for himself. Sheppard: Don't let go of the controls!
Sheppard snaps in a sudden jolt of panic. And it may not be McKay letting go of the controls that made him do it. It's that he mentioned Elizabeth, reminding him of why he needed to not be that close to Rodney. Just like McKay used Elizabeth's name (yelping "Elizabeth!" in near panic) when Sheppard was getting too close to him in his lab in The Storm (S01E09). They both seem to be using Weir as a... weir between them.
And again, as he will many, many times in the future, Sheppard needs to be touching something, needs to have his hands pressed against something, when he's near McKay:
Then they arrive at their destination and switch seats. They move seamlessly together, Sheppard needs only to mention his name and McKay does exactly what he wants, and is only too happy to oblige. We've seen this happen in movies between a man and a woman. It has never not been erotic (underlined by McKay's line "This thing is enormous!"):
Here, it's McKay that keeps glancing back and back at Sheppard as they're approaching the humongous ancient weapons platform. A weapons platform that should be a pretty interesting thing to look at, all things considered. But his eyes keep on being drawn back to Sheppard who, it should be noted, is wearing only a t-shirt.
Sheppard is trying not to look at McKay, catches himself several times before he does. He's not allowing himself to do it. That's until they come upon the wraith distress call from the planet below.
They look at each other. They communicate in words but they also communicate with their eyes. Suddenly, they are one mind again.
Continued in Pt. 2 (NB this episode focuses entirely on Sheppard and McKay so this is in 10 parts)
.* Actually Weir's whole "I didn't think so!" schtick would have made sense if it was about her knowing that Sheppard had been using her to create distance between himself and Rodney. Like she was telling him that she knows the half-hearted flirty smiles at the end of The Eye weren't really about her (same with the nurse right then) but were an attempt to build a defensive barrier between himself and the thought of losing someone important to him again. Because she knows.
Also, we would just have had a similar confession from Rodney where he was trying real hard to tell something to Weir and she wouldn't let him finish. Those almost confessions would mirror each other.
McKay: If this doesn't work... Weir: It will. McKay: I'm just saying, if it doesn't work... Weir: It will. McKay: I'm sure it will, but in the unlikely event that it doesn't, I... Weir: Rodney! Please.
---
Sheppard: Listen, uh, I'd like to say something while I still can. Weir: Don't! You're gonna get through this. Sheppard: If I was ... he wouldn't have let me go. Weir: Who wouldn't have let you go? Sheppard: The Wraith.
Sheppard: What I wanted to say was ... Weir: Save your strength, John, and tell me in person. Sheppard: This is important. Weir: I'm listening.
#stargate atlantis#sga#sga meta#john sheppard#sheppard is bi#rodney mckay#rodney is gay#ep. the defiant one#ep. 38 minutes#ep. sateda
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hide and Seek
Finally, we get to Sheppard and McKay.
Lead characters, it is natural for them to be in scenes together. Their initial meeting is at the chair platform in the Antarctic base. The one notable aspect of this is that while McKay's jealousy of Beckett and his ATA gene was laid out real thick just moments ago, he displays only excitement watching the platform come to life at Sheppard's touch. He admires this man from the start.
The next time we see them together, it's in Atlantis. And for some reason, McKay seems to follow Sheppard where ever he goes. The major is walking around the gate room turning on lights around him and McKay is right on his heel. From the moment he steps out of the gate, he is following this man that is a stranger to him. They seem to keep winding up in the same places.
Rodney is also doing the looking but trying not to look thing. Looking everywhere else but where he clearly wants to be looking.
Make note that during this scene there was a clear focal point in the room in the bottle of champagne that had just rolled through the gate. Everyone else in the room was looking at Elizabeth holding up the bottle.
Their first proper exchange is the one where Sheppard reveals his math skills to McKay, which has been analyzed to death. Sheppard is cool and calculated, uses his charm to get his way. Rodney is only too quick to acquiesce. Unlike Col. Sumner and Dr. Weir, he is completely defenseless against it. Intuitively, Sheppard also knows what strings to pull. Weir is charmed through candor, Sumner (who does seem to warm up to him eventually) is charmed through the display of guile. Rodney McKay is charmed through intellect, so that's what Sheppard uses to manipulate him.
We get much more interaction between them in the next episode, Hide and Seek (S01E03).
The throwing off the balcony, shot him in the leg scene is familiar to everyone. There's certainly bonding going on, people seeking companionship marooned in another galaxy. McKay displays his admiration of Sheppard in multiple ways, the least of which is not volunteering for experimental and potentially dangerous gene therapy for the hope that he might become just a little bit more like the major.
(And note that while Sheppard and McKay are playing with each other, there are people still without living quarters because "the major seems to be taking his time" making sure they're safe. Priorities.)
There's a big lampshade moment in the scene where the two of them walk into the closet together, and then come out of the closet together. A closet is, in fact, explicitly referenced:
McKay: Someone thought it would make a nice closet. Sheppard: This is definitely not a closet.
This episode also marks the beginning of Rodney being oblivious to Sheppard finding double entendres and innuendo in something he says innocuously in a tense, potentially life-threatening situation.
Sheppard: Think we're going to need a bigger boat. McKay: Size doesn't matter. Sheppard: That's a myth!
My guy, is this really the time for this?
In fact, Sheppard never misses an opportunity to turn something McKay says into a sexual reference (and this is far from the only instance that reveals he is a total and utter size queen; what is he saying here? He's saying that a big dick is better, that's what he's saying here. He's saying that he prefers a big dick). It's pathological. It's Freudian. It's witness to Sheppard constantly having sex on the brain when it comes to this one man, and only this one man, as we never see him do it with anyone else.
All of this is really cute and fun, but what I actually want to highlight is Rodney's Big Damn Hero moment toward the end of the episode.
You see, John Sheppard is presented as the All-American Action Hero. We, as the audience, are supposed to see him like this and the people in-universe are supposed to think of him like this. Rodney McKay certainly sees him as the hero, idolizing him to the point of constructing an image of Sheppard that barely corresponds with reality. He is the protagonist.
Only, for John Sheppard, it is Rodney McKay that is the Hero.
This is lampshaded in the episodes Sateda (S03E04) and Tao of Rodney (S03E14). Rodney often surreptitiously volunteers information, masked in the guise of humour, that he means about Sheppard but would never confess out loud. In the former, he tells us (through describing to Beckett his relationship with Ronan): "We have an unspoken bond. I mean, there are things that go deeper than words, my friend. Deeper than words. But you wouldn't know anything about that, because you never look past the surface of anyone, do you?"
It is humorous when he says it about Ronan. It is absolutely true of his relationship with Sheppard.
Similarly, in Tao of Rodney he describes his relationship with Zelenka to Ronon: "He tries to hide it, but deep down, I'm the wind beneath his wings."
It is humorous when he says it about Zelenka. It is absolutely true of his relationship with Sheppard.
He is the wind beneath the wings of the flyboy, the pilot, the airforce major/colonel, the guy who thinks that people who don't want to fly are crazy. The guy with the wings. Rodney McKay has been the wind beneath them from the moment onward that happens at the climax of Hide and Seek that changes everything for Sheppard.
The lyrics of the song from Bette Midler, arguably the world's best known gay icon, tell us how Sheppard views McKay:
It must have been cold there in my shadow To never have sunlight on your face You were content to let me shine, that's your way You always walked a step behind
So I was the one with all the glory While you were the one with all the strength
Did I ever tell you you're my hero? You're everything, everything I wish I could be Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle For you are the wind beneath my wings
It is obvious that Rodney thinks of Sheppard as his hero. Because we frequently see Rodney fear for his life, avoid conflict, think his way out of situations, his heroism is more difficult to recognize. But the thing is, Rodney feels the fear and does it anyway. He is not afraid to show that he is afraid.
John, on the other hand, is so full of fear every moment of his life that if he were to acknowledge it even for one moment, it would paralyze him. He cannot afford to entertain fear, let alone show it to anyone else, friend or foe. And it is not merely losing the people he cares about that he fears, he also fears showing other people who he is where Rodney is always unabashedly himself. John thinks that Rodney doesn't care whether people like him or not, which makes him free.
Conversely, John has consciously constructed himself into someone that people will like, he reflexively uses his charm as a weapon, as self-defense. He has spent his entire life pretending to be someone he is not, even going so far as to marry the woman his father liked, as a survival mechanism. In the episode, we learn that Sheppard thinks scary things (the masks of hockey goalies are scary while football "is a real man's sport") are unmanly. Fear is unmanly. Showing fear is the unmanliest thing there is.
For John Sheppard, Rodney McKay is a Hero.
We are shown this explicitly in Harmony (S04E14). Oh, we're meant to snicker at this. This is so counter to reality, is it not? This is not how the world sees it. This is not how Rodney McKay sees it, even though in the episode he jibes that this is how he remembers the events. But this is 100% exactly, entirely and fully the way John Sheppard views the two of them, and has done so since the end of Hide and Seek.
This is in contrast to Beckett and Peter making fun of McKay at the beginning of the episode by inventing hero names for him: Mister Invincible, Captain Untouchable. While everyone recognizes Rodney's intellect, no one else thinks of him in this way. The thread running through the episode is McKay conquering his fear which is highlighted by the ancient mcguffin that he is initially unable to turn off because his fear is too great to relinquish the protective barrier.
For John Sheppard, because of who he is and how he has lived his life, Rodney McKay is a Big Damn Hero. Rodney McKay is brave enough to not only feel the fear but to let his fear show, and go for the Hail Mary anyway.
At the beginning of the episode, John was mostly amused by Rodney and his antics; amused enough to want to spend time with him, invite him to share something very personal to him (the football game that was one of the few possessions he had brought with him), to repeatedly tease him knowing what buttons to push, to talk about him even when he wasn't there ("Don't tell McKay what I said about hockey not being a real man's sport ‘cause it's a Canadian thing; a little touchy about it."). Also, look at him smiling as he's thinking about McKay here! All of these classic signs of attraction, by the by.
And yet by the end of the episode it's transmorphed into something more, something genuine.
Where previously he mocked McKay for his fear ("He... fainted"; "That's okay, you might faint again"), he now reinforces Rodney's self-ascription ("Thank you for not saying the other thing"), displaying his respect and admiration for Rodney's willingness to and capacity for self-sacrifice even in the face of paralyzing fear. Sheppard recognizes that although he might undertake one suicide mission after another, Rodney is able to do something that he does not believe he ever could.
This is where it begins. This is why he falls so hard.
#stargate atlantis#sga#sga meta#john sheppard#sheppard is bi#rodney mckay#rodney is gay#ep. hide and seek#ep. harmony#ep. sateda#ep. tao of rodney#ep. rising
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
Runner, Pt. 4
We don't get to see the full gamut of McKay's reaction to the realization that they have lost contact with Sheppard and have no idea what has happened to him. We next join McKay and Lorne inside the puddle jumper, and the fact that it's daylight indicates that some time has passed. They are in radio contact with Atlantis, informing Weir of the situation. Lorne seems to have calmed down some, and being able to get instructions from a superior on Atlantis likely helped with that.
For his part, McKay seems perfectly normal. Like nothing is amiss. Later, McKay mentions that Ford is showing signs of clinical dissociation. The fact that he even knows what it is seems to confirm his long history of therapy, and that he may have some personal experience with dissociation, as it is an extremely common defense mechanism for multiple forms of childhood trauma. For example, McKay most definitely seems to use his work to avoid facing difficult emotions. Now, unlike what he later tells Ford, "talking in the third person" is not a sign of dissociation. Experiencing a traumatic event and having no feelings about it is. Emotional numbness. Behaving in an uncharacteristic way. What we see McKay doing here are all signs of dissociation.
McKay walks in on Lorne's call to Atlantis and makes a request for radiation suits--which is not unreasonable on a planet with nearly lethal levels of radiation (in fact, we see the effects of the radiation on Ford, who is protected by the wraith enzyme and we see Ronon apply some kind of protection on his skin). While Sheppard's attitude toward McKay was being contrarian, it was never that he didn't believe McKay.
But Lorne, who seems to have adopted Sheppard's attitude toward both McKay and McKay's antics wholesale, seems to think seeking protection from the radiation is ridiculous, which is just ten different kinds of stupid. He gives McKay a look of silent judgement as he makes his request which McKay seems to misinterpret. He thinks that Lorne gives him the look because he thinks he's acting selfishly. He has not caught onto just how little Lorne seems to think of every aspect of who he is.
But the thing is, McKay's focus on this secondary, really quite peripheral concern is also a sign of dissociation. Major Lorne is not equipped to understand why McKay is behaving the way he does, and he doesn't even have a baseline for McKay's normal behaviour. We can't really blame him for not understanding what is going on with McKay, but he is still being dickish for little to no reason. McKay even shows concern for Lorne's men, asking Weir to have all the available suits brought out for them, not just for himself.
But you better believe McKay cares about what has happened to Sheppard. If he cared less, we might see him react in some normal way, be worried, be freaking out, try to think of ways of saving him. This full blown dissociation tells us just how deeply he is affected, and the fact that he mentions the concept of dissociation himself later just invites us to try fitting his foot into this particular shoe, see if it fits.
At the same time, Sheppard is slowly regaining consciousness inside a cave, tied up with Teyla.
They appear to have been stunned, and while Teyla was hit first, Sheppard is the first to wake up probably due to his bigger body absorbing the blast. Sheppard is trying to make sense of their current situation and surroundings as Teyla stirs behind him:
Teyla: Colonel? Sheppard: You OK? Teyla: My head is pounding. Where are we? Sheppard: I don't know, but I was just about to ask him.
Sheppard is glad that he's here with Teyla and not McKay. While his hands may be literally tied at the moment, he is still more free to think of what to do, how to get them out of this. He's not paralyzed by fear, he's not distracted by his constant concern for his well-being. This is why he had chosen Teyla to go with him, and this just proved that his choice had been correct.
Now, we've seen several times in the past, especially when Acastus Kolya has been involved, that Sheppard has swallowed down all his smart-ass remarks out of fear for McKay's safety. We saw him physically have to force his hand down not to say what he was thinking in The Eye (S01E11). But now, although he does not know anything about this man other than that he must be dangerous since he had got the drop on them, he seems much more carefree. They're definitely in a tight spot, but he's been in tighter spots than this.
Sheppard: You might wanna be careful where you point that thing. Looks like you've got the safety off. Sheppard: OK, be that way. But my guess is if you wanted us dead, we'd be dead right now, so why don't you tell us who you are and what you want? Sheppard: Alright, I'll go first. I'm Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard.
Notice how Sheppard keeps direct eye contact with him, trying to come across earnest, trustworthy, stalwart and unthreatening, all at the same time. Make no mistake, he is attempting to charm Ronon into letting them go. This is one of the weapons in his arsenal and he has never been above using it to get what he wants.
So, this is not Ford. They had thought who ever had killed the wraith had been Ford due to the removal of the enzyme sac. But this man, whoever he was, certainly seemed capable of killing a wraith. Maybe they had been wrong. What was the chance they'd find two wraith killers on a planet that doesn't support animal life? So Sheppard isn't worried for McKay. As far as he knew, Lorne and McKay had been tracking the same sound, and they weren't here, and this man obviously hadn't killed himself and Teyla. So, he could pretty safely assume McKay and Lorne were still out there somewhere. That freed him up.
He's even more relieved to learn that this man is a soldier:
Dex: "Colonel"? Sheppard: It's my rank. Military designation.Dex: Specialist Ronon Dex. Sheppard: That's you? Dex: Name and rank. Sheppard: Military? Dex: I used to be. It was a long time ago.
While he didn't know this man, at least he could understand him. Clearly, he was on the lam. He was running away from something. He could understand that too. Still, he was curious. This man had clearly been through a lot. He could see something of what he felt reflected on this man's face.
Sheppard: And now? Dex: Now I'm deciding whether to kill you and your friends
Again, the topic of friendship is brought up. Friends, he says. Plural. We don't know whether he has seen the other soldiers, but he has seen Ford and by their fatigues, probably assumes Ford is one of their people. Ford and Teyla make two friends. Sheppard, however, must assume that he means the others.
The thing is, none of them are really his friends. He doesn't really have a lot of friends despite what he tells Teyla later in Sateda (S03E04), and his response there is also a case of the lady protesting too much. Most of his friends are dead or had walked out on him a long time ago (and one of his dead friends, Dex, actually had the same name as this man, seems like). He wanted to think of Teyla as his friend but they were more collegial. And Rodney. He wanted to be Rodney's friend. He tried really hard to be a friend to him. They had agreed they would be friends. So why was it so difficult? The more he tried, the more it hurt. If he was honest with himself, Rodney was not his friend either. He's not sure he even wanted that. He's not sure that he was able.
But still, who ever this man thought was his friend, he certainly didn't want them to be killed. Being his friend was the quickest way to get killed, really, so it was probably real good he didn't have any.
Back in the jumper, McKay is trying to take care of Sheppard's people who, likely taking after the example of their superiors, seem to not want to listen to their science officer despite being on an actual alien planet of which they know precious little.
He offers them the suits that they had brought with them from Atlantis but they all just seem to ignore him:
McKay: Hey, wait, aren't any of them gonna... OK, that's just reckless! There are four suits. Lorne: Not exactly designed for moving through dense brush and rough terrain, not to mention possible combat, huh? McKay: No, but by my calculations we've been exposed to 327 millisieverts since the sun came up. It may not sound like much to you but I've been keeping a running tally of my lifetime exposure to radiation: X-rays, cellphones, plane rides, that whole unfortunate Genii nuclear reactor thing. My God, last week we flew dangerously close to the corona of a sun!
Lorne does not seem to realize how close to crying McKay is here, how he has to stop in the middle of his speech, just as he mentions plane rides (Sheppard is a pilot, has come really close to dying flying a plane very recently), before continuing on to Genii nukes (Sheppard had almost died flying their nuke up to the hive) and recently having flown into the coronasphere of a sun (with Sheppard, they had almost died together). He stops, swallows, and then continues as though he was just listing things. Lorne thinks McKay is just complaining when he is clearly thinking about Sheppard and trying not to unravel right then and there.
But then, we get a really interesting exchange. From having clearly just thought about Sheppard, Sheppard, Sheppard there, McKay's mind then goes directly to having kids and how he might not be able to have them any more, things being as they are:
McKay: As it is, I may have to forego reproducing. Lorne: Yeah, that's funny. I was just thinking that might be wise.
This is another entirely unnecessary dig from Lorne. "Please don't breed because the world doesn't need more people like you," is the gist of it. That's really pretty petty toward someone that has done nothing but try to help him out, offering him his sunscreen, having Weir transport a radiation suit to protect him from deadly radiation, trying to make what seems to be--if not his very first then at least one of the first--missions on an alien planet easier for him through normalizing it with conversation. He's done everything Lorne has asked of him, he has been considerate and helpful. If McKay has done anything here, he's shown what a good parent he would be. He's not only one of the most brilliant minds of his generation, he's clearly Mr Mom. You'd be so lucky to see him with kids.
But it's interesting, what he says here. During the first season, there were multiple references to children in connection with Sheppard and McKay. In Childhood's End (S01E06) Sheppard told Keras that he might want children one day. And while it first seemed like McKay had neither the desire nor the ability to get along with children, by the end of the episode the youngest children actually clung to him, they seemed to like him best. He was the safe adult for them. He was ready to protect these children with his own life. He was surprisingly good with kids, is the thing. And what McKay says here is that he, just like Sheppard, had thought about having kids. He had planned on having kids but now was beginning to doubt that would or even should happen.
We don't know if Sheppard and McKay ever talked about kids or having kids between the two of them but fact is, they were both ready to bring the kids to Atlantis to keep them safe. It seems like they had been on the same page about this, too. And then, everything had changed. What ever dreams or plans McKay had had, they had now all burned to the ground. The radiation aspect is just an excuse. In his heart of hearts he thinks that it's just not going to happen for him because no one wants him. No one wants to make a family with him. He doesn't deserve to have a family. And even if by some miracle he found someone that would be willing to start a family with him, the most convenient way of procreating just isn't on the table for him. As far as we know, Rodney McKay has never had sex with a woman and has no interest in doing that either.
And the thing is, this is one of those throw-away lines that the mainstream audience is going to take as evidence of a heterosexual orientation where that's not what he says at all. He's not saying he had so been looking forward to breeding with an available female of his species if only he found the right one. He's saying that he thinks he's too damaged to reproduce, and that he doesn't want to transfer his damage onto his own children (and this really isn't just about the radiation). Heterosexual people don't have a monopoly on wanting to have kids. Non-heterosexual people have had children the world over, from the dawn of history. This tells us that like Sheppard, McKay had been wanting to have kids. It seems to have been a dream that they shared. But that dream had been shattered. And it's interesting that his mind went to having kids from clearly having thought about Sheppard almost dying multiple times.
Back in the cave, Ronon is applying some concoction on his skin to protect himself from the sun like a pussy, if we're going by what the military types seem to be thinking. Sheppard is both trying to reason with the stranger and, in order to try gain his trust, volunteers some information about their operation:
Sheppard: Look, the men guarding the Stargate are highly-trained soldiers armed with deadly weapons. Dex: Stargate? Sheppard: Stargate. Big circle thing. Dex: I've always known it as the Ring of the Ancestors. No matter, I have to make it through. Sheppard: Look, we didn't come here looking for trouble, and the whole killing thing is really unnecessary. Dex: If your friends try to stop me... Sheppard: They won't, if I tell them not to. Untie us, we'll all go to the gate together and you can be on your way.
Again they make a reference to friends which really seems to be a recurring theme in this episode.
Ronon seems to have spent many years all on his own and while he can tell these people are not wraith or native to this planet, or seem to want anything to do with him, he's still suspicious of them. As someone that has survived unfathomable dangers, he can tell that these two people are dangerous and while Sheppard probably is being sincere about his offer because he has places to be and people to see that are not this cave and not this man, Ronon can also tell that he's not exactly an honest man. And it's true that while Sheppard has mostly been telling this stranger the truth, he has been trying to game him the whole time too. He has been trying to come across as earnest and trustworthy because a dishonest man can also use the truth as a weapon. Sheppard is an "any means necessary" kind of guy, and here he is trying to figure out what means to apply to this guy. But it's noticeable that, practiced though his calm here is, even though he's tied up, he seems to be perfectly in control of the situation and especially is in control of himself.
What's interesting about this is that Sheppard seems to be talking to Ronon as one would to a child. As one would try to reason with a child. He's talking like a parent trying to get a child to undo something stupid and dangerous, to walk them back from getting themselves hurt. This is similar to what happened in Childhood's End. We are made to think of one of them having children, and then are shown what a great parent the other man would be. Here, both of them are actually exemplifying qualities of good parents: McKay is taking care of people where Sheppard is playing the part of a responsible, firm but compassionate authority figure. Their parenting styles seem complementary. It's too bad McKay now seems to have given up on this dream.
Continued in Pt. 5
#sga#stargate atlantis#sga meta#john sheppard#sheppard is bi#rodney mckay#rodney is gay#ep. runner#ep. childhood's end#ep. sateda
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Siege I, Pt. 3
So, once McKay takes off on his mission we find Sheppard with Weir and Bates going through possible new planets for an Alpha Site. This is what he stayed back for so he is damn well going to get it done. Weir sits in the middle because Sheppard is still uncomfortable around Bates.
Bates suggests a planet and Sheppard says: "No. We've only been there at night and it gets ridiculously hot during the day, so no--not really an option." There's symbolism in them doing something only at night because it does not bear the light of day. Further, things being "hot" is referenced three times in the episode which could mean something. As mentioned, Sheppard is not wearing his coat and does not wear it for most of the episode. Anxiety can cause people to overheat so it might just be that he is feeling "hot under the collar". Only, one would expect him to be wearing the t-shirt in that case, at least in less formal situations, as prancing around in a t-shirt probably would have a deleterious effect on any authority he currently wants to exercise.
And exercising authority is something that seems to be forming into an issue:
Weir: We wouldn't be having this problem if the damn Alpha Site that we'd picked hadn't been marked by the wraith.Sheppard: They're a real pain in the ass, aren't they? Weir: Yes they are! Sheppard: How about M4H-212? Bates: No--crawling with Genii spies. Sheppard: You know that for a fact, Sergeant, or is your Spidey-sense just tingling? Bates: It's a fact, sir.
First, both Weir and Sheppard are cursing here and Weir is the one to initiate it. She is seated between an Air Force Major and a Marine Sergeant, she may feel the need to come across as exaggeratedly assertive. Sheppard's response about them being a pain in the ass is delivered with humour, so it seems like his intention is to let her know that it isn't needed, at least not with him. But also, it's interesting that they make a textual reference to something being a pain in the ass here what with the multiple allusions to Sheppard smarting while he is seated.
For some reason, he also looks to the side as he says this, and while the relationship between eye movements and thought may be something of a pseudo-science, I wouldn't put it past actors having made use of it, especially 20 years ago. Looking to the right and up was believed to relate to accessing visual memories (i.e., recalling something in your 'mind's eye'):
So, when he says pain in the ass, he is remembering something and his tone suggests that it isn't his encounters with the wraith that he was recalling but something more pleasant. At the very least, he amused himself with what he said.
Second, Sheppard makes a reference to Spider-Man revealing once more the fact that he is a comic book geek. Sure, one reference doesn't mean that he is an aficionado but we do see him reading actual comics later on so it's safe to say that he is familiar with them. His intention here is not to reveal to either of them personal information about himself, however. He makes the reference as a covert barb at Bates and the way he has behaved toward Teyla recently. If Sheppard has been accused of letting his personal feelings compromise his decisions, he is implying that Bates is doing the same thing only from a different motivation. He is insinuating that Bates makes up his mind based on intuition rather than facts which is not much better.
It's also rather strange that Sheppard would not know that they had encountered Genii spies on this planet. It is the kind of thing that he definitely should have been made aware of. It's the kind of thing he does not just have a professional reason to want to know but actually has a very personal stake in wanting to know. He must not have been reading all the mission reports with due diligence lately. His barb at Bates may therefore contain a hint of self-incrimination as well.
As Sheppard is preparing to stand up to leave he draws his lower lip back in a way that is similar but less severe as what he did when the earlier meeting was coming to an end, sort of like he's bracing himself before standing up. Like there was a sudden stab of pain. It's just suspicious this keeps happening, is all I'm saying. I don't even care what the reason is, it's subtle and I love that acting choices have been made. He also grunts ever so slightly as he gets up.
They settle on a planet that seems feasible and Sheppard is eager to leave right away, saying: "I'll get my team together and check it out." If this was important enough to keep him back from the mission to the Ancient satellite, it needs to get done ASAP.
His team is currently one member short and although they probably could have used a scientist with them checking out a whole new planet, he does not even attempt to replace McKay. But even though he is already one person short, Bates takes issue with Teyla's participation, taking after Sheppard to have a few words with him privately from Weir:
Bates: Major. Is Teyla coming with you? Sheppard: You're not seriously asking me that? Bates: I think that's a bad call, sir. Sheppard: Here we go again!
First thing to note is that Bates does not request permission to speak freely. This episode seems to contain many intentional call-backs to Suspicion (S01E04) which is where both Bates' issues with Teyla and questioning of Sheppard's authority started. For one, Weir mentions Stackhouse by name. Stackhouse was one of the Marines with his own recon team that joined Sheppard's team during the events of that episode. Sheppard is dressed in the same black shirt in both episodes. Both episodes also feature the Athosian Halling, who has neither been seen nor heard of for a very long time and makes a reappearance here. And in both episodes, there is also an imprisoned wraith that Sheppard names after an ex with a human name. But the most obvious connection between the episodes is in the clashing of Bates and Sheppard over the issue of Teyla's allegiance that Weir is forced to referee. Hence placing Weir in the middle of them in the previous scene.
In Suspicion, they had the following exchange:
Sheppard: We need to use the gate. Bates: Then we've got to find out who's responsible ASAP. I suggest we start by confining all non-base personnel to the south side of the complex. Sheppard: Are you kidding? Bates: That's the absolute minimum we should do. If Colonel Sumner was still here... Sheppard: He's not! I am. Bates: Yes, sir.
Bates was not only questioning Sheppard's authority but using Col. Sumner to do it. He compares the two to his face and lets Sheppard know that he finds him lacking. It is extremely disrespectful, and worse yet, he just confirms what Sheppard already thinks about himself. In the season finale, we see the reverse of this take place between Sheppard and Col. Everett with Sheppard himself having trouble fitting into his new role within the chain of command.
The thing is, Bates manages to get so deep under Sheppard's skin because he is pointing out the same things about him that his superiors have done in the past (Weir among them). And further, Bates is just doing his job, just like he was doing his job back then:
Sheppard: Teyla thought we'd scare them off with a big group. Bates: Teyla did. Sheppard: What's that, Sergeant? Bates: She was conveniently absent during the ambush. McKay: So was Ford! Maybe it was him! Bates: I'm just stating a fact, sir. Sheppard: Sergeant... I am only gonna say this once-- Bates: With all due respect, Major, you can reprimand me if you wish, but it's been six times your team's been compromised.
In Suspicion, we are meant to sympathize with Sheppard because he is our main character and since he approves of Teyla, so must we as the audience. But that (or the fact that Teyla does turn out to be innocent) does not make Bates' suspicions unwarranted. They return to the same issue later on in the same episode:
Bates: We still don't know what happened. Sheppard: Oh, that's enough. Bates: It's my job to express security concerns, sir. Sheppard: I've heard enough of your concerns. Bates: Again, with all due respect, Major, I believe you're putting your personal feelings in front of your... Sheppard: You're dismissed. Bates: Yes, sir.
Dismissing Bates of course does not make what he said untrue, it just means that Sheppard did not want to hear it. This was also the beginning of the difficult relationship with respect to the chain of command between Weir and Sheppard. Earlier, Sheppard yelled at her to "open up the damned gate" in an open display of disrespect which planted the seed of discord between them. This had finally come to a head in Hot Zone (S01E13) when Sheppard used his authority to make Bates override her order, and which remains unresolved between all three of them even to this moment. If anything, Sheppard was just confirming Bates' accusation that he allows his personal feelings to compromise his decisions. It didn't set well with Weir, either:
Sheppard: What? Weir: I'm the one who put him in charge of security Sheppard: Yes you did, and if you wanna dismiss me, go ahead.
So, now, in this episode, following the events of the previous episode (The Gift S01E18) where Bates had started pestering him over the topic of Teyla again, Sheppard is trying to maintain what ever authority he has over the Marine Sergeant. He even attempts to explain and to reason with Bates when as a superior officer he is under no obligation to do that:
Sheppard: The doctor gave her a clean bill of health. Bates: And that's good to hear, sir, but if she can't control how the Wraith use her... Sheppard: You don't know that. Bates: That's right, we don't! She saw everything they saw. Who's to say they can't do the same with her, see what we see? If she's been compromised in any way... Sheppard: She's an integral part of my team. Period. End of story. We're done.
When Sheppard says "You (Bates) don't know that", he replies with "That's right, we (the military) don't!" attempting to remind Sheppard where his loyalties should lie.
Note also that Sheppard doesn't bother dismissing him in the official manner. They are both aware that this has gone way beyond any semblance of decorum. It isn't just that Bates has overstepped his post but also that Sheppard has failed in his own duty as a leader to reprimand him which makes him seem weak. He has lost control of this situation, and this never would have happened if he did not, himself, have that seed of doubt that what Bates is saying might be true. Not with regards to Teyla but with regards to himself.
Now, the thing is, they are playing out this scenario with Teyla who is a female member of his team. It is safe to explore this dynamic using her, especially since there are no romantic sentiments between them. But everything that Bates says about Sheppard is also true of his feelings for McKay. That he is putting his personal feelings in front of his duties and that he is allowing his attachment to compromise his command. During this time, suspicion was enough for someone to be discharged from the military. Mere suspicion could end the careers of homosexual and bisexual servicemen in an instant. Even worse things than that sometimes took place under battlefield conditions. They are flirting with the concept here because if Sheppard was innocent of what Bates accuses him of, for this level of insubordination he would have had him discharged and thrown in the brig or the stockhouse a long time ago. But because he feels guilty, he has to walk this tightrope. And it is difficult to command the respect of someone that has lost his regard for him.
They have no reason to accuse McKay of having done anything warranting suspicion as they are being properly furtive but it doesn't change the fact that Sheppard actually is guilty of everything Bates throws in his face when it comes to McKay. He is allowing his personal feelings to affect his decisions and he is allowing his relationship to compromise his command. The reason he is arguing so hard for Teyla is because he knows that he might be called upon to do the same for McKay one day. And Bates is absolutely right to be concerned, too. At the end of the episode we see what happens when Sheppard's feelings for another "integral part of his team" override his sense of duty. We see how far he is willing to go for Teyla, and how far beyond that he will go for McKay. We never, through the entire run of the show, reach the limits of how far he would go for McKay. Not even at the end of time.
He would do anything for any one of them, he tells Teyla later in Sateda (S03E04). But it is only one of them for whom his anything actually means everything.
Continued in Pt. 4
#stargate atlantis#sga#sga meta#john sheppard#sheppard is bi#rodney mckay#rodney is gay#ep. the siege#ep. suspicion#ep. hot zone#ep. sateda
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Letters from Pegasus, Pt. 3
McKay catches up to Ford in a corridor, seeming suddenly to be brimming with energy and good mood despite apparently having slept very little recently:
Ford: Are you ready to record your message? McKay: Already done. Actually, I took the liberty of doing mine in private. Now, it may require some, uh, editing. Ford: Editing. McKay: Yeah, I, uh, I went on a bit. Actually, I used the entire tape. Ford: You talked for an hour? McKay: You see, I found it rather therapeutic, actually.
What is noticeable here is that this McKay is the polar opposite of the one we saw previously. The entire concept of recording messages to Earth seemed to make him very uncomfortable, even sad. And now he seems to have changed his mind to an extent that he actually has to offer Ford an explanation for why he has done this sudden 180 turn on the mater. But his explanation is just an excuse. When we look at the contents of the message(s) he recorded, we get better insight as to his motivation.
I previously mentioned the humorous pastiche on leadership that we find in McKay's recording. Yes, he has been thinking about leadership recently. He has his own department and there is an unbelievable pressure on him in particular to make sure that Atlantis remains viable, that everything works. That all manner of life-threatening problems are solved. This pastiche is humorous to the audience because we are not asked to look at him as a leader but as the magic science man, the comic relief, not because he is not a leader or might not have anything of note to say about leadership.
He does bear the heavy burden of leadership himself but having met and gotten to know John Sheppard is also among the reasons why he has been thinking about leadership so much. He admires Sheppard, and we have seen him emulate him on multiple occasions. When he is at a loss of what to do, he does what he thinks Sheppard would do. He sees Sheppard as confident, capable, strategic, with an iron will and a big heart. Someone who inspires others, who takes care of others. Someone to look up to. He would follow Sheppard to the gates of Hell (or to a Hive, which he has already done several times).
Only, Sheppard himself does not see it like that. Sheppard is very uncomfortable in the role of a leader. The responsibility of authority is a heavy weight and due to his patriarchal family, he has been more or less rebelling against authority his whole life. At the end of the episode, he records a message to the family of Col. Sumner, whose life he was forced to take as an act of mercy and whose death is the reason this leadership role had been thrust upon him. He tells us: "He died with honour and courage in the performance of his duty. He carried the burden of a leader, and he carried it well. I didn't get the chance to know him well, but I know this: considering the type of man he was, and what we're up against, well, I wish he was still here."
In his own mind, John Sheppard is a fraud. He's not half the man Col. Sumner was. Sheppard has made one mistake after another because he is weak, and it is his inability not to feel that makes him weak. His love gets people killed, his love compromises the people he cares about, his love has caused him to make bad calls and wrong decisions, his love makes him see things a little different, his love is forbidden by the rules and regulations of the military he serves and, according to them, for good reason. He is not a leader. His leadership is a charade. If his men knew what he was, they would not follow him. If his superiors knew what he did, they would remove his command. He is wrong in all of this, of course, but that is how he feels. While they can read many things from each other's faces, see what the other person is thinking or feeling, neither man can see themselves through the other's eyes.
Because the character of Rodney McKay is often used as a comic relief in the show, it's sometimes difficult to see the more serious side of him. We are distracted by by his energy, his verbosity, his larger than life persona, so as not to fully comprehend the impact of some of the things he says, to not take them seriously or at face value. This actually started with his introduction in the main show. In Redemption, he has this exchange with Carter:
McKay: I always wanted to be a pianist. Carter: Excuse me?! McKay: A concert pianist. You know, a guy who plays the piano in front of lots of people? Carter: Right. McKay: What did you think I said? Carter: Never mind.
This is made humorous by the fact that Carter hears him saying "penis" instead of "pianist" which, as an aside, just goes to show that Carter does not believe he is straight for a moment. Annoying yes, irritating to be sure, but not straight. Carter's mind interpreted him as saying that he wanted penis like that was a thing that he might have said tells us that McKay has a certain context in her mind. But anyway, this exchange and the fact he is portrayed as comic relief conceals the impact of what he actually tells Carter:
I had a not-so-comfortable childhood. My parents hated each other, blamed me. Music… was my salvation. It had this… perfect order for me. When I was twelve, my teacher told me to quit. A fine clinical player, he said, but no sense of the art whatsoever. I turned to science because I thought it would be different than music, but it isn't, it's just the same. It's just as much of an art as anything else.
He was abused from a very young age and had no safe adults in his life. He needed to be saved so he attempted to save himself. It is absolutely heart-breaking.
This episode uses the same trope. The serious stuff is hidden within the comedy. But we learn many things about McKay:
This is Doctor Rodney McKay speaking to you from my base of operations in the lost city of Atlantis, located deep within the Pegasus galaxy. I record this message on the eve of our darkest hour. As I speak, an alien armada of biblical proportions is on its way, bent… dare I say hellbent--in keeping with the metaphor--on our destruction. We will do our best to stave off their attack but I am afraid that defeat is all but inevitable. I, and the other members of my team, face the most horrific deaths imaginable, as our very lives are sucked from our chests in a, in a, horrific… OK, starting again, starting again. Ford, just, just, cut that, alright?
McKay starts his message confidently. He is clearly a practiced public speaker as an academic. But as soon as he mentions the horrific deaths potentially faced by members of his team, he trails off, shifting his eyes in a way that shows him thinking about something particular connected to the topic of "his team". As soon as he thinks of Sheppard, he loses the thread of his though. This cuts directly to Sheppard and Teyla helplessly watching the wraith attack. When he is recording this, he is sure that they're all going to die. There's nothing that he can do to save the people he cares about. He uses the same term, alien armada, as Sheppard did because they've clearly been talking about this, just the two of them. His message then continues:
My friends. I'm Doctor Rodney McKay of the Atlantis expedition, and as the facts of our heroic struggle against the Wraith and our untimely demise are already known to you, in that light, I'd like to pass along some final thoughts. Now, my extensive education, training and first-hand experience in the field of astrophysics has given me a unique perspective that few on Earth or, well, on any other planet for that matter, can match. I'd like to take a few moments now to pass along that perspective to you. I'll begin with a few observations on a subject that is both near and dear to my heart: leadership.
He is recording this to an audience, addressing the whole thing to "my friends," being the US military. He addresses Ford several times. He is clearly performing. While recording Beckett's message, Ford was concerned with his use of the term 'earthling' as breaking security protocol where pretty much every word McKay is saying here would never make it past any security check. The made it clear that just the notion they were from Earth would be enough to make sure the tape would never get sent further than SGC. Note also that the concept of leadership is both near and dear to his heart. While they were discussing in the jumper, Teyla used the term 'dear friend'. Also, he is heroic and he does have a unique perspective, as in Sheppard's words, a little different. Even now, at the eve of their untimely demise he's thinking about other people and how he might help them. He believes that sharing his perspective here actually is something that people might find useful down the line. And one of the ways in which he is helping Sheppard is making sure that Ford and other members of the military that might be watching the tape understand that he likes blonde women very much:
I almost caught mono kissing a girl in Algebra Club. Missed an entire month of school. Still, the kiss was something, so it was... probably worth it. April Bingham--cute blonde! God--you see, I love blondes, especially with the the short hair. Samantha Carter--if you're watching, the torch is still burning--sadly, soon to be extinguished, but… You know, you should know--I think you are just so, well, you're great--you're really, really great, and I would go so far as saying you're the hottest scientist I've ever worked with. In fact, there's probably not a night that goes by that I don't find myself, uh… OK, Ford, let's, let's lose that. And let's get back to… leadership.
The first time that he kissed a girl he actually got sick. Like, really sick. And not from the mono, apparently. He also missed a whole month of school which was a bigger deal to him. He doesn't seem to know how to feel about the whole thing. He says the kiss was "something," lifting his brows to indicate that what ever it was, it wasn't good. Also, he does not say that this was the first time he kissed a girl. This is the only confirmed time he has kissed a girl, so it might even be the only time he kissed a girl. The only time we know of, anyway, besides Carter pecking him on the cheek to mess with him. He also does not say that this was his first kiss, only that he once kissed a girl.
He has said that he likes blondes previously, and this is just the easiest type of woman to fancy if you're doing it as a performance. Gentlemen prefer blondes, it's a whole trope in itself. But we have to make note of the fact that the following episode (The Gift, S01E18) actually textualizes the fact that he lies about his interest in women but, because it was aired after this episode, it's again a case of being asked to re-interpret earlier scenes in light of later information. Here, he says that he loves blondes like that's a completely normal thing for a heterosexual man to say to a woman, especially if his intention had been to genuinely come on to one. It tells us that in spite of having met some formidable women, he just does not see women as people. Further, he is saying all of this to Ford and to Carter. He even tells Ford "Well, enjoy!" as he leaves him with the tape; he speaks directly to Ford multiple times, I don't know how much clearer it could be made that he recorded all of this with Ford watching it in mind--and he tells Ford that he's not even bothered if his message won't make it through the gate.
What's interesting is that we actually see a heterosexual version of McKay in an alternate reality in the SG-1 episode The Road Not Taken. Unlike the McKay of Moebius who was essentially the same as our McKay but whose life had taken on an alternative course (he is from the same timeline that had split into a different future), the McKay in this reality is not the same as ours. He is one of the "infinite variations of our own known reality where alternate versions of you and I play out events in ways you can't possibly imagine," as explained by McKay in Vegas (S05E19), where we also find either a heterosexual Sheppard--or at least one that prefers women. McKay of this reality is married (not to Keller, who still has her maiden name), so the Vegas-McKay may even be married to Carter himself. Or some dude, what ever. By that time it was legal in Canada, after all. The point is, these two men (Vegas-Sheppard and TRNT-McKay) are not the same as ours, they come from alternate realities and it's interesting that for both of them, one of the most significant things that is different are their respective sexualities.
TRNT McKay has been married to Carter and they have since divorced. Given that Carter seems to have clocked that our McKay is gay, it's also interesting to note that the first thing that McKay suspects of Carter is that she--his ex-wife--is a lesbian. What's fascinating and definitely underlooked is the fact McKay of this reality has married an Air Force Major (Carter is Lt. Colonel by this time in our reality so the fact that he was still a Major in that reality is something). The way this McKay behaves toward Carter, who he has actually married and presumably has had sex with, is almost the polar opposite of the McKay of our world:
Carter: Hi, Rodney. Thank you for seeing me. McKay: Well, why wouldn't I? I mean, we're still friends, aren't we? Saw you on TV. Well, recorded you, actually. Not that I watched it more than once. I mean, I recorded it in order to watch you once--How can I help you?
He is not being sleazy but is almost shy, here. He is nervous, stumbling over his own words. He is going out of his way to show Carter that he respects her and does not just think of her a sex object. When he accidentally makes it sound weird, makes it sound like he might have been doing something that would violate her boundaries, he quickly backtracks and makes sure that she understand that it wasn't like that. These scenes are paralleled in how it is implied that he may have been entertaining himself in private with the thought of her. Only, in their world he is making sure that she understand that he wasn't doing that whereas in our world, he is implying to her that he definitely 100% was. Their McKay is clearly still in love with Carter, has had sex with her, is a "dot-com billionaire" (Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark without the alter-ego)--in other words, who has no need to project heterosexuality on to the world, and definitely not to convince Carter of this fact.
The fact that Carter knows that our McKay is prone to doing exactly something like what he does while he is recording these messages is lampshaded in the episode:
Carter: The Rodney I know is a master of subtle persuasion. McKay: Huh... Oh, you're lying again, aren't you?
Subtle he is not. There's nothing subtle in what we see on his tape.
We can compare these two Rodneys. In the first scene, here, he is having a quick private thought about his ex-wife having sex with another woman:
In the second, he has a quick private thought about someone with short hair.
Now, McKay says "you see, I love blondes, especially with the... the short hair." He starts off talking about blondes which is what he means to be talking about. But as soon as he mentions short hair, his mind clearly wanders off track. He is not thinking about blondes with short hair, there is clearly a pause between his thinking of blondes and his thinking of someone with short hair. And then he suddenly snaps out of his reverie and returns to the topic: Samantha Carter! Blonde, short hair. That's what he was supposed to be talking about. But between April Bingham and Samantha Carter, he zoned out entirely thinking about someone with short hair. And, well. We know that he has spent more than a few moments thinking about Sheppard's hair over the years.
What McKay is explicitly saying is that he doesn't think scientists generally are a particularly hot bunch, and as soon as his mind goes to hot people he's working with, it shifts from there to something he frequently does at night... which also makes him jump down from his chair. It is implied, of course, that he pleasures himself thinking about Carter but, then. He cuts from what he does at night directly back to... leadership. That is the association he makes. He has to swallow down as he speaks the word because he's clearly thinking about something inappropriate, and it is not Carter he has been thinking about in connection with leadership previously in the recordings.
He continues:
Never cared for dogs: too much work, too needy, too unpredictable. I mean, you leave one door open, the tiniest little cracks, and they're gone. You look for them, you put up fliers--it's no use--and since your father refused to pay for a license, the Animal Shelter has no way of tracking them. Y'know, God knows what happened to that little guy. Now cats--now that's a whole different story. Cats are self-sufficient, they're dependable; you shake the box, they come running--cynics would say it's because of the food but my cat… see, I truly believe he enjoys my company. There's something very comforting about coming home from work at the end of the day and having a familiar face waiting for you, you know? Still--I digress. Where was I? Uh, right. Leadership.
Now, I'm not saying McKay doesn't love his pussycat back home. I'm sure the cat is important to him. This whole thing could be read as a metaphor for bisexuality only, both of the animals here are "guys" and this seems to be much more allegoric of Sheppard and Mckay's personalities than anyone's sexual orientation.
Here we are told that McKay actually loves dogs, and it was due to the abuse he received from his father when he was young that he has now learned to say that he prefers cats. He actually loved that dog that he describes in a similar way to how one could describe Sheppard (shepherd obviously being a sheep dog; McKay even makes a reference to leaving the door open to find them gone when we just saw Sheppard leave the jumper door open as he left Teyla to do some reconnaissance back on the alien planet), and losing "that little guy" had been traumatic to him. So he got a pet that would be there and never leave him--only, this isn't what McKay is looking for. Sheppard needs someone that will never leave him, McKay is looking for someone that accepts him unconditionally--like a dog. In other words, McKay is the cat who wants a dog in his life and Sheppard is the dog who needs a cat in his life.
McKay describes the cat as a familiar face waiting for you when you get back home, and that's not what cats are stereotypically like. That is what dogs are like. Cat's don't really care if you're around where dogs are excited to see you come back home. He's talking about his cat but he is describing his love for a dog. He is talking about one thing while describing an entirely other thing at the same time. McKay himself is the cat, self-sufficient, dependable, and comes running when you shake the box. Sheppard is the dog, needy and waiting for you when you come home. Like he was earlier in the meeting. Needy and waiting for him to come home from work.
Each one of these entries ends on the topic of leadership because McKay is thinking about Sheppard. Everything he talks about, he is thinking about Sheppard. And when he says "There's something very comforting about coming home from work at the end of the day and having a familiar face waiting for you," he's not talking about the cat he left for his neighbour to take care of months ago. He is talking about his life right now, here on Atlantis. He told Ford that he has slept only six hours in the past several days, he has clearly been sleeping in the lab, and he has been unable to go back home. And it's not the quarters, old or new or better than their current ones, that is his home. It's the person who is waiting for him. The face that is most familiar to him is the face of the man he can read like an open book.
This is a confirmation of the fact that, at this time, they are most definitely bunking together. And, you know. What ever happens there is their business but the show has gone out of its way to let us know that they do, in fact, sleep in the same place.
The further the recording goes on, the more we find him rambling on about random things:
That's another sight I'll die without having seen. See--to be fair, when you've travelled as much as I've travelled, you'd think that missing Niagara Falls would be no big deal, but you know what? It gnaws at you. A lot of movies I wish I'd seen and won't see now. Never saw "Grease", even though I had a thing for Olivia Newton John when I was a kid. Always wanted to see "Ghandi"; only saw the first half of "The Sixth Sense"--always wondered how that ended. My sister! Ford, if you cut everything else, just keep this part, OK? Jeannie? This is your brother, Rodney… obviously! I wanna say… I wanna say something. Family is important. I've come to realise that because the people here have become a sort of a… kind of a surrogate family to me. Now, I know what you're thinking: I've never really been the poster child for that kind of sentiment but when… when one is contemplating ones own demise, one tends to see things more clearly. I really do wish you the best, you know, and I'm sorry we weren't closer. Perhaps, if by chance I make it out of this, perhaps one day we can be, and I would like that. Now--if there's time I'd like to go back to the subject of leadership.
He is musing about Niagara Falls, one of the most romantic places on Earth where people frequently get married, and about watching films where he had just recently been informed about the kinds of films Sheppard likes (cheesy sci-fi), and may have thought about the kinds of films he might like to watch with him that he himself likes. Things he would like to share with another person. Apparently ones starring Olivia-Newton John and John Travolta, and written by John Briley. I'm not saying that his brain has one track but apparently there's a lot of JohnJohnJohn going on there.
I want to highlight the fact that it is the film The Sixth Sense that finally reminds him of his sister. Again, the scene is supposed to be humourous because the film has a well-known twist-ending. Having missed the ending that everybody knows about is supposed to be comedic irony. He says that he has only seen the first half of the film, and is suddenly reminded of his sister. The first half of the film is about a child that is seeing a psychiatrist who suspects that his patient must be the victim of child abuse. It's pretty dark that it's this troubled, scared child that reminds him of his sister.
Also, later on (McKay and Mrs Miller, S03E08) Sheppard has this exact recording on his laptop. John Sheppard has this recording on his laptop. There is absolutely no reason why he should have it and how he would even have gotten his hands on it unless McKay gave it to him. He not only let Sheppard see it, probably watched it with him, but actually allowed and wanted for him to have a copy of it. McKay was doing this whole song and dance for Sheppard. Weir ends her own message to the families of the fallen soldiers with "I do wish I could tell you more. I'm sure you understand as a military family" again emphasizing the fact that being a member of the military requires an extra mile not just from them but also from their families. And Rodney McKay is also military family by this time. Because he loves a member of the military, there are things required of him that go above and beyond the duties of a civilian.
And the thing is, they both share this sentiment about having found a family on Atlantis. Explicitly so. In Sateda (S03E04), Sheppard and Teyla have this conversation:
Sheppard: Look, Teyla. I'm not really good at... Actually, I'm... I'm terrible at expressing... I don't know what you'd call it... Teyla: Feelings? Sheppard: Yeah, sure, OK. The point is, I don't really have good... Teyla: Social skills. Sheppard: Well, that is why I enjoyed flying choppers in the most remote part of my world before all this craziness happened, but you should know, I don't have... Teyla: Friends? Sheppard: No--I have friends! You, Elizabeth, Ronon, Carson, even Rodney, are the closest thing I have to a... Teyla: A family? Sheppard: I'd do anything... for any one of you. If I had to give up my life the way Ronon was going to, I would.
This is the same exact thought that McKay expresses on the recording that Sheppard has later watched. Sheppard also considers the people he has found on Atlantis as his family. I've discussed previously why he places McKay ("even Rodney") in the final position before (he attempts to mitigate the emotional impact by saying the most important thing last). But here, there is also an actual categorical difference between McKay and the others he mentions.
Yes, he considers all of them family but out of them, McKay is the only one of them who belongs to that second family one forms when one leaves one's birth family or family of origin to make a new family with a partner. The others he mentions are his "found family," a concept with which many non-heterosexual people are familiar with. A found family or family of choice is "a group of people without any blood relation that supports and cares for someone the same way family members would." They are that to him. McKay is his conjugal family, and there is a whole other set of responsibilities (and also privileges) that comes with that. And Sheppard also emphasized the fact his family are not his friends, they are different from that.
The discussion they have on Sateda rhymes with this episode in that Teyla and Sheppard are discussing the topic of family on Orin's planet while McKay is recording his message:
Teyla: Orin was a good friend of my father. Sheppard: I agreed to warn him. Teyla: If someone close to your family--a dear friend--was in danger of being taken by the Wraith, would you have not done the same? Sheppard: Not if it jeopardised the mission.
At the end of the episode, Sheppard says the following: "I'm not sure if Colonel Sumner's parents are still alive. Um, I'm not sure he even has a family back there--not all of us do."
Sheppard does not feel like he has a family back on Earth. As far as he is concerned, he has been disowned by his father and abandoned by his brother. He is clearly uncomfortable discussing the topic with Teyla. He does, however, consider Atlantis his home. Months ago, in The Storm (S01E09) he told Teyla: "Well, maybe in time this place will start to begin to feel like home." And later on, he confesses to the same person that he thinks of these people as his family. Sheppard and McKay feel exactly the same way about their situation. Atlantis is home and the people therein are family. They are family to each other.
And it's also interesting that the difference between a family and a dear friend is emphasized in this episode. Many people find it strange that McKay calls Beckett his best friend later on. But the thing is, McKay and Sheppard were never friends. They have never been friends. They are family but, in spite of just having an entire episode about brotherhood, they are not brothers, they are not cousins, they are not uncles or parents or nephews to one another. They are family but in a very different way than they are family to the others. They share between them that bond that is deeper than words, my friend, deeper than words.
There's a pretty famous scene in BTVS in which Spike shares his observation of Buffy and Angel's relationship:
Spike: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave. Buffy: I don't know what you're talking about. Spike: Oh, yeah. You're just friends. Angel: That's right. Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children. It's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
youtube
Family is different from dear friends. Family is having a familiar face waiting for you when you come back home. Especially if you have been pulling late-nighters at the lab and this familiar face usually stays up longer than you. It is home to each other these two are trying to get to every moment they are apart.
Continued in Pt. 4
#stargate atlantis#sga meta#sga#john sheppard#sheppard is bi#rodney mckay#rodney is gay#ep. letters from pegasus#ep. the storm#ep. sateda#ep. mckay and mrs miller
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Underground, Pt. 1
Introduction to the Genii. Lots of lovely interaction in this episode, as Genii-episodes are often real McSheppy.
In Underground (S01E08), we return to the theme of food, hunger, and Sheppard observing McKay like a hungry hungry hippo hawk. The expedition is running out of food, which is why they have to start meeting new people. It begins at a team-meeting where Sheppard has, in fact, started leaning on his hands so that he can keep doing the same thing he has apparently been doing for a good while here once the episode starts: watching McKay.
He can't look away. He is not even blinking. Oh, he tries to. He just can't. He is gazing at McKay through this entire meeting.
Eleven is an interesting number in this context. If someone wanted to make a comical exaggeration, ten cups or a dozen cups would make sense. Eleven is oddly specific which means that it's the result of actually counting the cups he's been drinking, it's the result of observation. Also, while he chastises Rodney, it doesn't sound so much annoyed as it does tender. The kind of 'Oh, you' that's born out of familiarity and fondness. Like he's fascinated by his observation that the other man is drinking a lot of coffee and not like he's drinking them all to ruin. The way Sheppard looks at him is contrasted by Teyla, who looks at McKay eating as though she's put off, even disgusted. That's sure not what Sheppard was doing. We can also contrast it with Ford, who is completely neutral. Also not Sheppard.
When Sheppard says "I guess it's always good to get to know your neighbours" in this weird sing-song cadence, he looks at McKay while he's doing it. He takes one quick glance at Weir, the leader of the expedition and chair of this meeting, but otherwise he is entirely focused on the man stuffing his mouth on the mirror opposite side of the table from him.
Have you been getting to know your new neighbour, Major? This man has absolutely no chill.
Once they reach the Genii homeworld, they come across what they think is a farmer and her beautiful daughter. The farmer is quick to point out that his daughter is betrothed, as though suspecting Sheppard might have designs for her. But the thing is, he actually expressed no interest in this woman what so ever. He doesn't even (jump to) introduce himself which is something we see characters do time and again when we're meant to believe they are interested in a hot specimen of the opposite sex variety. He's not even looking at her, really only makes eye contact with the father and briefly at that. Again, contrasted with Teyla who is beaming at the daughter, Sheppard is extremely nonchalant. If anything, he seems confused that the father would even think that. He even explicitly says that he's not interested:
Tyrus: My daughter, Sora. Sheppard: You must be very proud. Tyrus: She's betrothed. Sheppard: I wasn't hitting on your daughter. I just thought...
You'd be polite? Try to make a good first impression? Compliment you, my dude, by way of the fruit of your loins, the exceptionally good-looking Farmer Joe that you are?
Where Ford side-eyes the farmer as they part ways with him, Sheppard leaves him with a smile and a nod. Clearly, he's on what he later calls his "best behaviour".
But the father wasn't the only one worried about Sheppard's disposition toward the young beauty. When Sheppard turns to Teyla to comment that "They look friendly enough" in a completely neutral way, he gets this worried, searching look from McKay:
Beautiful young woman. Blonde. McKay has zero interest because none of the other guys show interest. He makes sure that Sheppard has no interest, here. Satisfied that this is not the case, McKay himself then proceeds to have no interest. Contrast all of this with the introduction of Perna in the previous episode, Poisoning the Well (S01E06). My guy has so little interest in women he needs other guys to point out when someone is hot.
As they part, we get another private moment between Sheppard and McKay. The fact that as soon as they depart, McKay seeks Sheppard out to make this conspiratorial remark shows us that they are in the process of creating their own little world together. This is also one of the first examples of what McKay will later call "the kidding," which is to say, Sheppard saying counterfactual things just to wind him up.
McKay: Maybe we should offer a sense of humour in trade. Sheppard: Sure. They can have yours. McKay: Oh, please, my side. You slay me. Sheppard: I'm thinking about it.
Again, he uses this sing-song voice to say it. Obviously, he's not literally thinking about slaying McKay. He sure does seem to love teasing the guy, though. I mean, later on (in Sateda, S03E04) he confesses he sometimes takes actual time to think up of ways to tease him about something. Of course, we could alternatively interpret Sheppard as saying that he's thinking about McKay's side here (that is, he often says things that he means literally and people merely interpret in their own way due to this tone of voice) but really he seems to be thinking about the entire package, pretty much all of the time.
But what's curious is that Sheppard actually kind of complimented McKay here, in a back-handed way. He's saying that unlike these people, the man does have a sense of humour, and that his sense of humour is something they could trade with. McKay is quick to interpret it as an insult but for a jibe, it's really weird. "Hey my man, you're much better company than these people." And the episode does go out of its way to show us that Sheppard really does enjoy his company.
The feeling is mutual since, as soon as he's faced with the choice of attending a harvest ceremony (where, one presumes, one might find a plethora of rosy-cheeked maidens) or following the Major, he opts to go back (alone) with Sheppard. Also notable is that while Sheppard orders Ford to stay behind, McKay gets to make his own decision about what to do and where to go.
As this is getting rather long, continued in Part 1.
#stargate atlantis#sga#sga meta#john sheppard#sheppard is bi#rodney mckay#rodney is gay#ep. underground#ep. sateda#ep. poisoning the well
18 notes
·
View notes