#eren jaeger anst

[seeingivy]

see you soon

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting fic

songs mentioned: birds of a feather by billie eilish, see you soon by beabadoobee (small mention + name of chapter), and this love by taylor swift

previous part linked here

Eren’s embarrassed when he wakes up the next morning. 

Not immediately. Because when his eyes finally flicker open from the sunlight streaming in from the windows, the only thing that he feels is an overwhelming headache and a dry patch in his throat. His head spins slightly when he sits up, eyes puffy underneath his fingertips, and he regrets ever taking advice from two borderline alcoholics just because it was their wedding. 

But when he’s finally able to somewhat endure that pulsating feeling in his head and fully flicker his eyes open, he looks to his left to find you still in his bed. 

It wasn’t a dream. 

He was almost half convinced that it was – that you weren’t actually whispering into his skin that you loved him still, borderline begging him like he once did to you in the dark of night. 

He was wrong. 

He leans forward, tucking the stray strands of hair out of your face, only to find that you’re still fast asleep, your breaths deep and labored. Eren can’t help but smile as he brushes the back of his hand against the softness of your cheek – knowing you’d be irritated that you fell asleep with your makeup on when you woke up and borderline homicidal from your hangover. 

It’s only when Eren moves slightly to the right that he catches sight of your neck, and the little purple mark he accidentally left last night, that the regret, the deep searing embarrassment, seeps in. 

Because all he gets are flashes of the night prior – of his lips on your neck, of how badly he wanted the begging to be true, of the warmth that was pooling in his stomach when he passed out next to you. 

He got too carried away. Maybe you had too. 

There were a hundred possible reasons that could explain what you said – that the sweetness of the wedding had gotten to you, that you too were plagued by the eerie deja vu, or really, that the sinking feeling that things were ending and you’d never see each other again was starting to feel too permanent, that you wanted to pretend. 

Eren pauses. 

That’s what it had to be. 

It was for posterity. That things were ending and…and that simply had to be the last time that you kissed. Not an awkward half kiss with Levi and Hange watching, one that would be displayed to nearly thousands of people in a few months.

You had already given the people enough. One that had to be just yours, after everything else you had given. 

Eren can feel the regret digging into his gut as he lightly pushes his hand out of your grasp and decks downstairs. 

--

There’s an urgency to it. The need to repeat what you said to Eren, exactly the way you said it last night. 

Because it was one thing if he didn't love you and was trying to spare your feelings. And it was another if he really didn’t remember – and the possibility that he really did love you back was still intact – that it was just lost on deaf ears. 

You were positive that he did. That it had to be the latter and not the former – because Mikasa and Jean wouldn’t push you, Connie wouldn’t give Eren more hurt than he could handle, and Levi wouldn't be talking you into it if it wasn’t something that was good for you. 

You just had to muster the courage to do it again.  

You slip your hand into Eren’s at your side, ignoring as everyone starts crowding around Levi and waiting for instructions, and lightly pull at his hand. You look up and watch as he processes the sensation, almost wholly confused by it as he looks down at you. 

You wonder if he even realized when you put your hand in his. 

“Can I talk to you about something?” you whisper. 

He slips his hand out of yours immediately. 

“What?” 

His eyes are nearly boggling out of his skull and you cringe. Maybe you shouldn’t confess your love while he’s still hungover. 

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to make it like a thing. I just wanted to chat, whenever you have a second.” 

Eren frowns. 

You don’t know what it means. You don’t know what any of it means – that you leaned forward and he let you kiss him, that Levi had tried to convince you to do this, and that for the first time, you’re actually not sure if you’re doing the right thing. 

“Eren. Y/N, could you pay attention?” Levi asks. 

You whip your head to the side to find the group of them all looking at you, as you awkwardly pull your hand out of Eren’s and give Levi a nod. You can feel your hand shaking at your side as you shove it into the warmth of your underarms, giving Levi and Hange the indication that you’re paying attention. 

“Earth to Eren. Are you with us?” Hange asks, head hanging forward as they wait for a response. 

You turn your head back to him to find that he’s still staring at you and you swallow hard. You raise your eyebrows at him, which is enough to restore some semblance of bearings to him, as he shakes his head, almost like he’s disoriented, and turns to Levi. 

“Sorry. Ye-yes.” Eren responds, though you barely believe him. 

“Okay, well. If you guys do this well enough, this is the last scene we’ll film.” Levi states.

There’s a quiet murmur that goes around the room, as you watch everyone give each other almost excited glances, and note that Levi fights every muscle in his face to not smile. There’s an almost unsettling, but electric finality in Levi’s words – and really, in knowing the fact, that it’s likely you’ll all get the scene done in one take and then be done with it. 

And that for the majority of them, they’ll walk away and never return again. You wonder if Eren will walk out of here with you, like you were so sure he was going to a few hours ago. 

 You turn your head to the side, to Mikasa who offers you a halfhearted smile. You return it. 

“Let’s walk over together then.” Levi states. 

The smallest glimmer of hope that was flaring so brightly in your chest dims the slightest bit, but it’s stubborn. At the very least – you’d get your point across. That Eren had his doubts, rightfully so, but you were going to make your point abundantly clear. 

That you won’t let this love die out a second time. 

Mikasa wraps her arm around your wrist, and Connie wraps his arm around Eren’s shoulder, as the group of you all drag your feet to set for the last time.

--

Eren gets to direct the last scene. 

It’s Levi and Hange’s wrap gift to Eren. They had given him full reign to write so much of the last season and to them, it was only fair that one of the best things he had written, one of the perfect ends to the season, would get to fully play out the way that he had imagined it. 

And that he’d get to sign his name on with theirs at the end of it. 

From your vantage point, with his little fake head secured in your hands, you can tell that he’s excited. He’s animatedly pointing everything out to the crew, adjusting the lights and the positions as you all wait for your marks, teeming with your own nervousness. 

You love him. You want to scream it from the rooftop. 

“You’re looking awfully happy.” 

You look to your right to find Jean, Mikasa, and Connie at your sides, each of them looping in an arm in with you, as you all direct your gaze back to Eren. 

It’s almost hard to process what it is that Connie just said, or really even feel it. All you can really produce is a heavy sigh, one that they all recognize too well, as you lean your head against Mikasa’s. 

“Did you guys kiss last night?” Mikasa asks. 

“Yeah.” you respond. 

“What? You did what?” Connie asks, easily broken from the bittersweetness of the moment – which is replaced with his excitement. 

“We kissed.” you repeat again. 

“Holy shit. Holy shit, you fuckers actually did it!” Connie states. 

“I mean, we didn’t actually –” 

“Not you two, dumbass. Jean and Mikasa. I told them their stupid getting you drunk plan wasn’t going to work. And I was fucking wrong.” Connie states. 

You turn to the two of them, who give you sly grins, as you elbow Jean in the side. 

“Well, it didn’t actually work. I started confessing to him and he didn’t believe me because I was drunk. If anything, you made that more embarrassing for me than it needed to be.” 

“Wait, you’re not happy then? He didn’t say it back?” Mikasa asks. 

“No. I mean, not really. He just kept saying that I didn’t mean it. I don’t think he realized that I was being honest.” 

Connie pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“I told you two. It was him that we should have been focusing on, not her. You know how he is.” Connie whispers irritatedly. 

“Excuse you. She’s way worse than him. She definitely needed more coaxing than he did.” Mikasa responds back. 

“Well, look at where we are now. Poor idiot is so hopeless that she said exactly what he wanted and he didn’t even fucking believe it.” Connie states. 

“I’m going to talk to him.” Jean states, making a move to walk towards him. 

You reach forward, wrapping your fingers around Jean’s bicep, and pulling back. He looks down at you, an almost seamless blend of irritation and frustration spreading across his face, that you can’t help but smile at. 

“Don’t tell me you have cold feet now.” Jean grumbles. 

“No. I really appreciate it, from all of you guys, but…” 

You turn your head to look back at him, only to find him already looking at you. You shoot him a smile – one that he doesn’t really fully return – before you turn back to the three of them. 

“I don’t need your help anymore. I think I’ve got it from here.” you state. 

The three of them give you weary eyes before Jean leans forward, eyebrows raised as he questions you. 

“You’re not still drunk, are you?” 

“No. I just know what I want.” you respond. 

You shove him off, earning you from Connie, and proud smiles from Jean and Mikasa, who move to take their cues again. And each of you quietly stand on your little marks, the tape so worn into the ground from the years and years of walking over the hard floors, that it’s basically disintegrated into the wood. 

Your response to Jean echoes in your head. That you’re not not drunk, that you just know what you have to do. 

You can’t help but note it all as you stand there, how final it all is, with Eren and otherwise. That the light on the right is still kind of broken from the time it fell during season two, that your names are still scribbled into the wall all the way at the right, and that it’s your second to last time standing there. 

Your final with everyone else being here. 

“On your cue, Y/N.” Eren states, giving you a firm nod, as he focuses his eye on the viewfinder. 

You take a deep breath and try to stop the shake in your voice, and clutch the softness of the little pillow in your arms harder. But before you can start, you can’t help but turn back, the subsequent tears collecting in your eyes, more bittersweet than they need to be for the scene. 

“You good?” Levi asks. 

You feel your chest pang as everyone looks up at you, concentration broken from their focusing, as they all offer you a smile. 

“Yeah.” you whisper. 

You turn back to your cue, noting the disintegrating tape again, as you take a deep breath. 

“Armin.” you whisper. 

He turns his head and runs over to you, the screams coming out of his throat so agonizingly painful, that it nearly makes you flinch when he comes over. And it takes a few seconds – for you to sensitize yourself to the screaming – for you to really look at Armin, who's now crouching on the ground with you. 

You have to swallow down the tears. That this is Armin, twenty-five years old, self assured and confident Armin, and not the awkward little kid you met ten years ago. That he’s stumbled, fell, but made amends, and that really – his future's so bright that you swear you might be blinded by it. 

“You remember now too, don’t you? When Eren came to visit us?” 

You wonder if any semblance of Armin’s tears are real – if he really is sad to let this go, if any of them will hold onto this and them as hard as you’re going to. If it’s so agonizing to him to walk away from here and to leave this part of him behind. 

“Yeah. I heard…the result of your choice would make the power of the Titans vanish from the world.” Armin pants. 

You turn your heads, as you watch Eren pan the camera to the left, where all of them are waiting. Armin slips his hand in yours as he Eren moves the camera away from you, his tears making no inclination of ceasing.  

Jean’s voice nearly makes you flinch. All you can think of is Jean crying at Marco’s funeral – that was always tried to act so cool and tough but that there were still the smallest, deepest, sensitive parts of him that seemed to shine through in odd moments. That he had spent a whole year in the hole with Mikasa, just to crawl out of it on top, that he’d get to leave here by her side. 

“I remember now. You fucking moron.” Jean murmurs. 

And each consequent voice that you hear, that belongs to people that have been so intertwined in your life – so deeply woven into the fabric of everything you’ve known, everything you’ve ever dreamed of since you were fifteen – makes the burning in your eyes consequently get worse. 

“Eren…you’re really a…” Reiner starts. 

“Eren told me that my mom would go back to being a human being.” Connie states. 

That’s not a line from the script. Not the exact one anyways. But you know Connie well enough to know what he’s really referring to – the second chance at life that he got to give himself when he chose to get sober. And really, the second life that he probably gave his mom too. 

Annie’s line is the one that gets you. 

“He told us to live long…but what about you? We never asked for you to do this. You suicidal blockhead.” she murmurs. 

But really, that’s what it is at the core of it. That after you left here, you would all live long – but each of you would be moving in different directions. That some of them would stop dead in the center of the race like Marco or run too far in the wrong direction like Historia. 

That you’d start off in pairs but have to finish the race alone, that some of you would drag along in the middle and never really make it to the end. 

That no matter how the race ended, it wouldn’t be all together. 

There was always that consolation every other time you said goodbye. And weirdly enough, it reminded you of that almost blissful feeling you would have when elementary school would end as a kid. That you’d get to spend time away – but the promise of returning would always be there. 

It was almost like practice. To rob yourselves of each other’s company whenever you took a break, but never really, because you did always get to come back. 

You can’t help but cry when it’s Falco’s turn. 

“Gabi!” 

And maybe even worse when it’s Levi’s. 

“Did you see that? Seems like this is it. What you dedicated your hearts for.” Levi whispers. 

You wonder if Marco’s watching. If he’s seeing every corner that Eren’s panning too – Gabi knocking Falco down from being so excited to hug him, Annie and her dad in one corner, Reiner and his mom in the next. Of you and Armin in the last frame. 

You have to swallow down the block in your throat. 

“If I stayed here, they wouldn’t give Eren a proper burial.” 

Armin sighs. 

“Let him rest somewhere quiet.” Armin states. 

If you got to have it your way, that’s what you and Eren would get to have. That you’d get to rest somewhere quiet, together. It’s a plagiarized thought – one that you stole from Eren, that he wrote first. 

But it was almost too perfect. The thought of you and Eren leaving here, taking a few months off in his sweet little cabin in Ireland, where no one could touch you. He’d lie in the grass, you’d watch the moon, and skinny dip in the ocean whenever you wanted. 

“Eren always took a nap near that three.” you state. 

Armin smiles. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I think it’s a good place.” 

And you count them – seven steps until you're out of frame – clutching onto the little pillow that’s meant to be Eren’s head in your hands, as you switch on your heel when you’re done. And all fifteen of you turn your heads, eyes expectant as you look at Eren, whose own green eyes are glimmering with tears as he says it. 

“I think that’s a wrap guys.” Eren states. 

And there’s fifteen pairs of legs dragging to the center, until you’re a terrible mess of tangled arms, and snot filled tears. It’s Connie’s giggly voice and Gabi’s complaining that fills the air – and it’s such a sweet ache that it’s almost painful. 

And really – each memory, so arbitrary, so formative – seems to come bubbling to the surface as you stand there, with Reiner’s elbow dangerously close to your eye and the faint smell of Jean’s cologne in your nose. 

Levi clears his throat. 

“Can I say one thing?” 

You all pull out of the hug, limbs still intertwined in every which way, as you look at him. He clears his throat a second time – which should have been the first sign that you wouldn’t be able to stomach what it was that he was going to say if he could barely get it out in the first place. 

“There aren’t any words that I can give you that can really put justice to what it is I feel, for each and every single one of you.” Levi starts. 

You preemptively wince. It already hurts. 

“There is something deeply rewarding about this career and it is most definitely the part that people don’t expect. It’s never been a thing that I really understood, because really, there are so many parts of it that are…are so antithetical to who I am as a person.” Levi states. 

He turns to Hange, extending an open arm, before continuing. 

“I’m deeply fond of my privacy. I would hate for anyone to know about my love life, let alone speculate on it. And I truly hate a system that, down to its core, is destined to knock people down, to profit on the torturous part of creating art. I never understood why this was something that people dreamed of, why little girls would decide their entire career after watching someone give an impassioned speech on a television screen.” 

The group of them all turn to you, teary eyed smiles, as they all offer a quiet laugh. 

“I got a taste of it. I acted in my first real movie, La La Land, and fell deeply and inexplicably in love. Not only with the love of my life –” 

He offers Hange a wink. 

“But, with the world of acting itself. To pretend to be a jazz artist in Los Angeles, a secret spy in the United Kingdom, to live through the highs and lows of life – time and time again. Sometimes I almost found myself getting obsessed with it – letting everything else go, to be someone else. To live a hundred lifetimes in the short one I’ve been given and that really, I’d still get the chance to go miles and miles further, to live a hundred more.”

Levi pauses. 

“This is the second time that I’ve found myself having a life I’m finding hard to let go of.” 

He turns back to Hange. 

“The important parts followed me where I wanted to go the last time…” 

And he turns back to you, sparkling tears falling out of his gray eyes, as you swallow a whimper. 

“But I know they won’t this time. And god, have you all given me the biggest headache of my fucking life. You’ve all run a hundred directions and…and I’ve chased you all down to each one of them.” 

You all laugh. 

“I’ve never seen a group of people who are so motivated to have difficulties with one another. Like genuinely, every time I’d come out on top of something, someone else decided to have an issue. One person gets engaged and suddenly I’m hearing you’re begging outside his door everyday for him to take you back. Or you’re breaking each other’s cameras and blocking each other's numbers.” 

You turn to Eren, who offers you a joking wink. 

“But…I’ve never seen a group of people who are more passionate. Never had people that I wanted to follow to every corner, that I felt so moved to do right by. And I could never be more thankful to have people who were willing to walk with me and my vision, to truly and really, give meaning to the idea of dedicating your hearts.” 

Falco presses his cheek to your shoulder. 

“Thank you, kids. I know that I’ve made the right choices in picking each of you and I’d do it all again with you in a heartbeat, chasing and all.” Levi finishes. 

No one’s able to muster an appropriate response in words. But Eren gives Levi his wrap gift – which seems to be just right. It’s a single page, an arbitrary page ripped out of one of the old scripts. 

“What the hell is this?” 

“It’s from Marco’s script.” Eren states. 

You all peer over Levi’s shoulder, noting the scene and getting an eerie sense of deja vu – of the first time that you were caught off guard with Marco’s death scene. 

[Marco]: We haven’t even had a chance to talk this through yet. 

And underneath, his inscription on the page. 

levi, if this was your idea, i want you dead. you can’t just kill me off! 

(just kidding! i know you love me so much that you’ll bring me back somehow :D) 

--

Of course, Levi somehow made it harder than it had to be, again. He had made it a rule at the end of filming each season – that you weren’t allowed to give each other real wrap gifts, because you were always going to be coming back. 

It was a strange tradition that occurred after. Since you weren’t allowed to give each other real wrap gifts, it led to everyone getting gag gifts for each other – something that was obviously started by Reiner and Connie – and wholly responsible for the stack of knick knacks that were stuffed in the back of your closet upstairs. 

You feel a tap on your shoulder, only to find Eren at your side.

“Your turn.” 

You feign shock, pressing your hands on your heart. 

“You got a gift for me?” 

“Shut up. I technically have two gifts for you, but I can’t give you the second one until later.” 

You watch as Eren digs his hands into the folds of his shirt, before pulling out the key necklace that he’s been wearing all of these years. And subsequently watch as he yanks it over his neck and gestures for you to come closer. 

“The key necklace?”  you ask. 

“I believe this is technically stealing a prop, but you know, what they know don’t know won’t hurt them.” 

You frown as he places it over your head, yanking your hair out of the chain and readjusting it at the center of your chest. 

“Why do you look so annoyed?” 

“Well, now my gift looks unoriginal.” 

You reach for the bag on the counter, before handing it over to Eren. And you watch the smile spread across his face as he pulls the red scarf out of the tissue paper, and presses it close to his chest. 

“The scarf?” 

“Yeah. I had the costume designers add our initials on the inner side, because you know, I actually got permission to give you that as a gift.” 

You watch as he finds the stitching on the scarf, running his fingers over the black thread, before setting it down and opening his arms up for you. 

“You know, you’ve always been such a goody two shoes. You’re supposed to steal this stuff from set and then make it a funny story for the press later."

“But of course. I’m so glad you’re still so humble to be giving me pointers about how this all works years later.” 

“One of the things I pride myself on is how grounded I’ve stayed throughout the entire process,” he responds. 

You both laugh, as Gabi and Falco come up to your side, excited smiles on their faces. You both give each other a confused look, before looking down at the two of them. 

“Hi guys.” 

“Hi Eren. Hi Y/N. We have a gift for the two of you.” 

The two of them hand you a little package wrapped in white paper. 

“The one on top is for Eren. And the second one is yours Y/N.” 

The first thing that falls out of the package, that’s meant for Eren, is the magazine cover that Scott had actually mailed you a few weeks prior. And the second is one that you’ve entirely forgotten about, from an interview that you had done with Danny and Sareen. 

“Well, you’ve always been shit at giving gifts Falco, but this kind of takes the cake.” you mutter. 

“That’s obviously not the gift, dumbass!” 

Gabi shoves him in the side. 

“The magazine actually reached out to the two of us about doing a similar cover with our inspirations and an interview based on that. And for both of us, that’s always been the two of you. Not only because this is literally your show, but you’ve always been that for both of us. And they agreed to let us include Hange and Levi too, so it could be a whole Generations of Attack on Titan type of thing.” 

You smile. 

“I know you can’t take back all the shitty interviews and stuff you’ve said. But at least whenever someone looks up Vogue USA, it’ll be us that comes up next to you instead of them. I figured that was at least a little bit better, you know?” Gabi says. 

You and Eren turn to each other, eyes nearly glistening, as Eren crouches to his knees to get on Gabi’s level. 

“You’re one of the best people I know, you know that?” 

“Eren. Don’t get all corny on me!” 

“You started it! But really, you’ve got a bright future ahead of you. Both of you do and I’m immensely proud of you.” 

You crouch on the ground with the two of them, Falco joining suit next to you, as you wrap your arm around him. 

“You’re both going to make one promise to us, okay?” Eren asks. 

“What’s that?” 

“You’re always going to be on the same side. No matter how popular either of you get or what anyone tries to tell you, I can promise you – you’ll be much better together than you are apart. And I don’t want you to forget that.” 

You watch as Falco and Gabi look at each other, self assured smiles on their faces, as they turn back to you, bright eyes. 

“Deal.” 

“That’s a promise.” Falco repeats. 

The two of them wrap their arms around you one more time, before pulling back. 

“Gabi, stay back, okay? I have a gift for you.” you state. 

You watch as Gabi’s cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink, as she tucks the stray flyways around her ears. 

“Oh! You got a gift for me? You didn’t really have to.” 

You shake your head. 

“Are you crazy? Of course I did. And even if I didn’t have to, I really wanted to.” 

You reach for the little box, before handing it to her to open. 

“One of the first birthday gifts that everyone got me here was a little leatherbound notebook to write my lyrics in. Ever since then, I’ve only ever written in that – or other ones like it once I ran out of space. But it’s a good space to scribble out ideas, or even just fragments of words. Sometimes I find myself going back to phrases that end up being really big for songs later. And if you’re going to be a serious songwriter, I figured you’d need one of your own. And I’d be honored to give you the first one.” 

You watch as Gabi squints her eyes at you, trying to blink the wetness out of her eyes. 

“Really?” 

“Mark my words, you’re going to be the one to watch. And I’ll be right there at your side, whenever you need something.” 

You watch as she looks down at the book, running her fingers down on the softness of the leather, before she picks up the pen. 

“The pen?” 

You smile. 

“I hear you’re a big fan of this song I wrote called like…New Year’s Day or something like that. Well, that’s actually the pen that I wrote it with…and most of my songs actually. I wanted you to have it.” 

“I can’t take that from you.” she responds, pushing it back into your hands. 

You shake your head. 

“You most definitely can and will. I know you’ll make good use of it. And well, I think there’s a right time to give things up and pass them on.” you respond. 

You watch as she smiles bigger, clutching it close to her heart before she reaches forward and gives you an almost too energetic and excited hug. And you watch as she runs approximately four feet away to where Falco is standing, as she excitedly shows off the gift. 

Falco turns over to you and gives you a sly wink – wholly satisfied with the fact that he had a hand in giving her the perfect gift. 

You make your way over to the center of the room, where Niccolo’s waiting, as you knock on the table top. He gives you a smile as everyone turns their heads over to you, each of them nursing gifts in their hands. 

“I have something for all of you, if I could just have your attention for a second.” 

Niccolo’s at your side, handing you the acoustic guitar, which is enough to get all of their attention as they all scoot closer and take a seat on the couch or the floor. 

“I figured that it was only fair that you guys got to be the first to hear this news.” 

You give Niccolo a nod, as he fixes the right picture onto the projector. It’s a picture of two polaroids side by side – the one on the left being the first group picture that you took on the first day of filming season one and the one on the right being the first picture from the start of season four. 

And at the bottom, your handwriting in black marker – the letters spelling out Birds of a Feather. 

“I’m so excited to share with you guys that my fifth studio album, one that’s entirely mine, is going to be coming out on June 11th.” 

“No fucking way. You…you’re coming back for real?” Reiner asks. 

You give him a nod and watch as all of their faces spread wide in shock, before you’re met with a sound of the sweetest cheers. And they all start whispering to each other excitedly, pointing out their faces on the cover, as you all gesture for them to be quiet with your hands. 

“I wasn’t done. That would be such a lame thing to announce right now.” 

“What do you mean? I’m about to go crazy about this on Twitter.” Connie responds. 

You roll your eyes. 

“The reason that I wanted to tell you guys is because I wanted to show you guys the tracklist.” 

You give Niccolo a nod, as he switches it to the next slide, and watch as they all read it. 

“Wait. These are…these are our songs. That you wrote with us.” Sasha states. 

“That’s right! Birds of a Feather is the last song on the album because it’s the first one that I was able to write by myself. But every single one that comes before it is one of our songs, so I figured that it was only fair that you all got writing credits for them. I wouldn’t have been able to write that one if you hadn’t gotten me to write the ones that came before.” 

Connie stands up from his seat. “You’re giving us all writing credits?” 

You give him a nod. 

“Oh my fucking god. I’m about to be an Institute Award winning writer.” Connie says. 

You snort as they all laugh, before walking up closer to read the set list, each of them pointing out their respective songs. You look over your shoulder at Niccolo, your new tried and trusted producer for the foreseeable future, and blow him a kiss. 

“The eleventh song is blank.” Reiner states. 

“Right. I haven’t written that one yet. It’s for Eren’s request, I just haven’t had a chance to get to it yet.” 

You watch as Jean shoves Connie in the side, before leaning closer to you. 

“Calling it now. Some variation of the word love or lover is going to be in the title.” Jean states. 

Connie snickers as you roll your eyes and gesture for them to return back to their seats and Niccolo hands you the guitar pick. 

“Okay, well. This one is Birds of a Feather, guys.” 

And I don't know what I'm cryin' for I don't think I could love you more It might not be long, but, baby, I Don't wanna say goodbye

Birds of a feather We should stick together, I know (till the day that I die) I said I'd never Think I wasn't better alone (till the light leaves my eyes) Can't change the weather Might not be forever (till the day I die) But if it's forever it's even better

You look to your left, your fingers slightly stinging from the metal of the guitar strings as you turn to Eren, Levi, and Hange and smile. 

I knew you in another life You had that same look in your eyes I love you, don't act so surprised

The group of them all give you a set of cheers – Connie and Gabi pressing wet kisses to your cheeks and Mikasa ruffling your hair – as they all excitedly get closer to the screen and take pictures. It gives you a chance to find Historia alone on the couch, as you offer her a smile. 

“Is it meant to be a big fuck you to me that you put everyone’s songs there but mine?” Historia asks. 

You roll your eyes. 

“The exact opposite actually. That song is my gift to you actually. It’s yours, entirely. It was a little bit too personal of me to share without your permission. And even if you give permission, I think you should be the one to share that with people and get full flowers for the masterpiece that you wrote.” 

Historia smiles, leaning her head against your shoulder. 

“I was about to write a whole song about how much of a bitch you were.” she jokes. 

You snort. 

“Don’t worry. I was already writing a counter response about how much I loved you.” 

You watch as Historia wrinkles her nose before leaning forward and leaning her weight against you. Her grasp only seems to get tighter as you return the affection, soaking in the sweet vanilla smell for one of the last times in the foreseeable future. 

--

The following morning happens too fast. Because Jean and Mikasa are finishing getting everything packed up and Niccolo and Sasha are eating breakfast, and in the blink of an eye, the three hours you had dwindled down to all of you standing on the porch, teary eyed. 

And it’s really silent, quiet hugs and smiles, before the sets of cars arrive, that you all really turn to each other – and realize that you have to leave. 

And you’re able to handle it considerably well, with Eren at your side, the two of you swallowing down that scratchy feeling in your throat as you say goodbye to Sasha, Niccolo, and Reiner. And it goes well for the most part, watching each of them duck their heads into their cars and give one last wave before they drive away. 

That is until Connie, Jean, and Mikasa walk up to you, each of them with the biggest of smiles on their faces. 

“Hey guys.” Mikasa says. 

You clear your throat, trying to shake the tears that are rising up away, as you look at her. 

“Hey.” you respond. 

“That was the first thing you ever said to her.” Jean states. 

You widen your eyes. 

“Really?” 

“No. I’m just fucking with you, I made that up.” 

You shove him in the side, as the group of you laugh, before Connie pulls all of you closer, everyone linking their arms around each other's shoulders and making a little circle. And you all lean your heads against each other – unable to muster any semblance of words that can put meaning to any of the feelings – as you watch from afar. 

Niccolo and Sasha leave together, but not before Sasha blows all of you one last kiss. Gabi and Falco are accompanied by a very annoyed Colt. Reiner’s last hug is to Hange and surprisingly, he’s the first one to break Levi. 

“Our car is the last one there, the black.” Jean states. 

You and Eren give each other a look, as you all unlock your arms from the circle and smile at each other. 

“Enjoy your honeymoon, guys. And don’t give us a godchild too fast. I still haven’t gotten over my fear of children. Or pregnant women…” you state. 

“You’re scared of pregnant women?” Jean asks. 

“You didn’t know that? They like freak her out.” Eren states. 

“They don’t freak me out. I just…can’t think about it for too long. So give me some time, Mikasa.” 

The two of them shake their heads, almost like they’re annoyed by the thought, before they pull you in for their last hugs. And you can’t help but feel your heart sink as you watch the two of them walk away, at the last wave as they offer before they get tucked into their car. 

Connie’s the last one standing. 

“My car’s here too.” Connie states. 

You and Eren turn to face him, getting the slightest shiver from the cold air, as you both turn to him. 

“I’ll see you guys again?” Connie states. 

You both smile, biting down on the hardness of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling too hard. 

“Of course you will.” 

“I’ll be the first to visit you guys wherever you end up after filming that last scene.” 

You and Eren turn to each other and smile, before shaking your heads at him. 

“Okay, Connie. We’ll get together.” Eren states. 

Connie smiles, reaching forward to cup one of your cheeks and place his free hand on Eren’s shoulder, before he squeezes both of your skin. 

“I’m glad. Now that I’ve given my last ditch effort at attempting matchmaking for the two of you, I’ll finally be able to tell you all about my girlfriend.” 

“Your what?” you ask. 

Connie gives you a wink. 

“See you guys later.” he responds, walking off with his bag. 

You and Eren turn to each other, eyes wide. 

“He has a girlfriend?” you whisper. 

“I didn’t know he has a fucking girlfriend. You know, you can’t just fucking say that and walk off into the fucking distance, Connie!” Eren shouts. 

“Watch me!” Connie responds, tucking his head into the back of the car, before slamming the door shut.

Eren crosses his hands over his chest. 

“What a fucking prick. That’s way dramatic, even for him.”  

“I will admit, that’s so on brand for him that I can’t even be annoyed about it. “

“I’ll fucking say.” 

You and Eren stand there on the pavement, socks cold on the gravel, with Levi and Hange standing a few feet away on the porch, as you watch the cars drive off and feel the silence hang in the air. And it’s only when Connie’s car disappears into the horizon that the thoughts return – the doubts of what you and Eren would actually have to confront now – as you turn over to him at your left. 

“Hi.” 

Eren smiles. 

“Hey.” 

“Ready to talk?” 

Eren nods. 

“I’m all yours.” 

You and Eren trudge back to the front, where Levi and Hange are waiting, as you trail back in and lock the door behind you. 

“Can you meet us at the table? We’re just going to grab the scripts and then talk about the next few days.” Hange asks. 

“Yeah, sure.” 

You and Eren walk down the hall, hands brushing against each other, as Eren turns to look at you. Hange and Levi return within the minute, each of them handing you a script with your names inked in bright green marker. 

“I thought there wasn’t any dialogue for this. Like last time.” you state. 

“We’re doing something a little different than last time.” Hange states. 

“We’re going to film this that Hange and I wrote scene three days from now. And you’re not allowed to see each for those three days, until we film that scene.” 

“What?” you ask. 

“The scene is fairly simple, but…we need you guys to really nail it. But besides that, I want you guys to really get into the character work for it and really think about what it would be like to see each other after time apart, to be isolated like that alone.” 

“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine and all. But can we like delay the whole…not seeing each other thing for like an hour?” you ask. 

Levi frowns. 

“No. That’s like the entire point. It doesn’t exactly work if you get to talk before it happens.” 

“Okay, I get that. But..” you start. 

“No buts. You’re going to do this. It’s just three days. You guys have willingly gone without talking for longer than that.” 

You glare at him. 

“And you complained plenty about that. First you want us to talk to each other and then you’re physically stopping us from doing so?” 

Hange gives you an apologetic smile as Levi stands up, shuffling off towards the end of the hallway, as Hange follows. You turn to Eren, heaving a deep sigh as you look at him. 

“I guess I’ll see you in a few days?” Eren asks. 

“Yeah. You know, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when they said that we were going to be here alone.” 

Eren shrugs.

“Me neither. But that’s just kind of how it goes.” Eren responds. 

“I’ll see you in three days, I guess.” 

Eren smiles. 

“It’ll pass by before you know it.” Eren offers. 

--

Eren wondered if the time was passing as slowly as it was for you as it was for him. 

The slow rotation of things that he had been using to fill the time on the first day – walking the length of the block, packing up the last of his things, and flipping through all of the books left in his room – were doing little to help him on the second day. 

In all honesty, he was starting to get antsy. Too nervous for his own good. 

And every little nervous thought that he had – about whatever it is that you had to say to him, the sheer embarrassment of letting himself go too far the night of the wedding, of never getting to feel the safe comfort of this house again – was culminating his headspace into a wasteland for good thoughts. 

Eren wondered if it was possible to feel nostalgia for something if he was still in the depths of it. Or really, he knew for a fact that you could – but just wasn’t sure how it was exactly possible. 

Because deep in the pit of his stomach, he was dreading the fact that in two days, the three of you were going to lock up this house and never return. That even if he got to return, it would never feel the same as it did before and whatever time he had spent here, it had already passed by him in front of his eyes and he hadn’t noticed until it was almost over. 

It was a different sort of nostalgia, he supposed. Because it was one thing to be outside, playing with your friends for the last time and not realizing it was the last, but another to know that you were standing in the halls of all you had ever known and knowing in full that you were going to walk away from it and it was never going to be the same. 

Eren reaches for the box closest to him, filled with the polaroids that he had picked to keep, and picks the first one out that he could find. 

A picture of you and Armin at his sides, your cheeks resting on his shoulders in front of the brightly lit candles of his sixteenth birthday cakes. 

It almost bothers him. That he can’t remember the exact moment the picture flashed – or really anything that happened after. But there’s the smallest amount of solace that Eren gets from looking at the pictures too. 

Only because he knows that the person in the picture, who was so inexplicably happy, is still buried somewhere deep within him – and that at the very least, he’ll get to carry that person wherever he goes. 

There’s a knock at the door, followed by a pair of footsteps that belong to Hange and Levi, who plop down at his side. Eren quickly tosses the picture back into the box, before offering the two of them a smile and hiking his knees closer to his chest. 

“You okay?” Hange asks. 

Eren smiles. 

“Just feeling nostalgic.” 

“Tell me about it.” Hange responds. 

“How’s Y/N?” Eren asks. 

Levi turns to face him and gives him an irritated glare. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“Yes, Levi. That’s obviously why I asked.” 

“If you must know, she’s very irritated with me. She gave me some choice words when I had breakfast with her yesterday morning.” 

“Yeah, well. She had something she wanted to talk to me about. We kind of –” 

“You guys kissed while you were drunk at the wedding. Well, she technically initiated the kiss and the second and the third. And it was only because she got carried away after you didn’t believe her when she was trying to tell you that she loved you.” Hange finishes. 

Eren turns his head to the side. 

“What?” 

“She told us.” 

“Well, she told you wrong. She did try to…confess to me and begged me to kiss her, but I was the one who leaned forward. And the one who kissed her the second and the third time.” Eren clarifies. 

Levi snorts. 

“You remember?” Levi asks. 

“Do you think that’s just something I can forget?” Eren asks. 

“Well, my previous source seemed to think it was plausible.” 

Eren frowns. 

“She doesn’t remember.” Eren mumbles. 

“Well, you did have a lot to drink.” 

It suddenly makes sense to Eren – almost too much sense. The reason that you were so insistent about talking was because you weren’t sure that he reciprocated the feelings. Not because you were so bothered by what had happened that night. 

“She really said that?” Eren asks. 

If you were the tiniest shred of overthinking capacities like Eren did, which he knew for a fact that you did, he figured that you had already spun the story ten different ways in your head. That you were probably simmering over there, nervously itching to say what you had wanted – similar to the way that he had felt for weeks when you had actually returned. 

“She thinks you don’t remember anything that happened that night. And because of it, she’s going to repeat exactly what it was that she said to you, again. Just to know the answer for sure” 

Eren leans back against the frame of the bed, angling his head up towards the peeling wallpaper on the ceiling. Hange and Levi join him at his sides, the three of them watching hte fan spin around and cast shadows on the wall. 

“Why are you telling me?” Eren asks. 

“Do you believe in signs, Eren?” Hange asks. 

“Hange.” Levi berates. 

“Fuck off. Answer the question, Eren.” 

Eren pauses. 

“Sometimes. Why?” 

Hange leans to the side, before handing him a book. 

The Complete and Collected Poems of Maya Angelou. 

Marco’s poetry book. 

“You know, this was a gift to you guys. Why are you giving it back?” 

“Open it to the marked page.” 

Eren sits up, spreading his fingers over the top of the pages before he finds the dent and pulls open to the page. 

Have enough courage to trust love one more time and almost one more time. 

“Right. Are you about to give me a whole lecture about –” 

“Look at who marked the page.” 

Eren looks back at the bottom of the page, only to find his own writing staring back at him. And it’s only then that he remembers that this was a gift that Marco had given to him – at his last birthday party before the two of you broke up, when you passed out in his bed from how exhausted you were instead of blowing out the candles with him. 

“Not that I believe in any of this shit, but…but we were cleaning up the room before we were going to come talk to you before going to bed. And it just fell on the floor, straight off the shelf, and opened to that exact page.” 

Eren gets it now. 

“Do you believe in signs, Eren?” Hange asks, again. 

Eren slams the book shut. He wasn’t exactly the superstitious type, but he could trust in the things that he knew were tried and true. 

And Marco did make a promise to haunt him from the grave. And he was never one to break a promise. 

“Yes. I most definitely do believe in signs.” Eren answers. 

--

“Levi. Did you…did you empty this out?” 

“Why on Earth would I do that?” 

You set the glass jar down, before dropping to the floor and running your hands over the tile to find the slip of paper – the request that Eren had placed in the jar months prior – now nowhere to be found. 

“Why are you on the dirty floor?” 

“My paper is missing. I-I didn’t take it out in the past few days, I think it might have gotten shuffled up with everyone moving and all that.” 

“What was on it, kid?” Hange asks. 

You lean back on your heels, wiping the dust from your fingers, as you feel your heart sink in your chest. 

“Eren’s request for my song.” 

“Oh! Just ask him to write it again.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll just do that.” 

Except that’s not good enough. Because if your hunch was correct, Eren wouldn’t write what he wrote the first time again – whatever it was that he scribbled onto the green slip of paper. 

“Yeah. But ask him tomorrow, when you’re done filming.” Levi states.

You glare at Levi. 

“No one is breaking your stupid rule, Levi. Relax.” you respond, as you make your way to leave the room. 

“You’re not eating lunch?” 

“I’m not hungry anymore.” you respond. 

You drag your feet across the floor as the frustrated tears start to accumulate in your eyes – burning warm and hot as you make your way down into the hall and slam the door shut behind you. And you can’t help but lean down across the wood and watch as the tears fall onto your knees, the pounding in your head being a culmination of every horrible thought that’s danced across your viewfinder in the past few days. 

Slowly but surely, any hope that you had on the first day had all but dwindled down into nothing on the third day. And the courage, the deep insistence that you had to talk to Eren face to face, has simmered down when the fears started getting louder. 

Because, maybe, it was really for the better that Eren didn’t remember. And that maybe, this is exactly how you and Eren were supposed to end. 

You walked in the wrong direction. And then he did too. And weirdly enough, the stars still aligned so you would both end up here, before you had to leave again. 

And if you really count things in the grand scheme of things, there was nothing you could do but be grateful. 

Well, really, if you wanted to stay optimistic – and keep your promise of leaving here different than the way you returned – you had to be optimistic. 

You had to be determined to find the good, even if there wasn't any. You’d root it out of every nook and cranny – and even if you couldn’t find it, you were going to make it for yourself. 

You reach for the box off of the desk, filled with the polaroids you have tacked on the wall, and reach for the on the top. 

It felt like cheating – stealing a polaroid that you weren’t in – but you couldn’t help but take the picture of Sukuna and Eren standing together, trying to act cool by not smiling at the camera, and keep it for yourself. 

You find solace in the fact that Eren’s loved. That Eren loved you and that you loved him – and that a part of you always will. 

Eren always seemed like there was more than he was putting off and really, every conversation that you had ever had with him since he was a kid had left you wanting more. Only because you could tell – that deep down – there was more than he was letting on, hundreds of things and memories that he was waiting to share with you. 

It was really the best thing about him – knowing that you would never tire of being around him. Because he’d tell you something new, teach you a new set of chords on the piano, or tell you about memories of his that you weren’t privy to experiencing next to him. 

You wonder if it’ll be different when you see him years down the line. 

If he’ll grow his hair longer, if he’ll have hundreds of more memories that he wants to share with you, and if you’ll be able to walk the path back to where you started after time away. 

You reach for your notebook, to the last free page in your lyric book and scribble three words at the top. 

See You Soon 

--

The nervousness leaves you the morning you film. It’s almost serene, the feeling having settled into your bones, as you sit in the chair – watching them blow the hair dryer through the ends of your hair for the last time. 

“You’re just going to sit out there in the little meadow. Eren will meet you there when he’s ready and we’ll just kind of keep continuously rolling. You can do whatever you want or…or whatever feels right. We’ll cut when you film the scene.” Levi explains. 

You nod. 

“What if Eren never shows up? Are you going to roll for three hours?” 

“Well, he’s getting ready in his trailer, so I don’t think it’ll be that long.” 

You look over your shoulder at the trailer, before turning back to him. 

“Okay, well. See you out there.” Levi responds, giving one last squeeze to your cheek. 

You take a slow start to getting out there. Linger back to hug the hairdressers and makeup artists one last time, dawdle by the food cart and spend your sweet time eating the scones, before you make your way out to the meadow. 

The little cabin that the crew had constructed was perfect. Complemented by the little flowers barely blooming nearby and the clouds whistling through the air – the smallest part of you ached that it was real and not just four ply walls with nothing inside them. 

You take a seat on the bench just outside and hike your knees to your chest. You pull the sleeves of the pink cardigan over your palms, before nestling your nose into the softness of the scarf – perfumed the same way with a mix of the fresh detergent smell and the flowery perfume that the costume designers douse the clothes in. 

You try to memorize everything exactly the way it is. The blades of grass dancing in the wind of the cold air, the sun peeking out through the patches of the clouds, and your heart racing in your chest. 

You feel a tap on your shoulder, which you know belongs to Eren at your side. 

You look to your left to see him sitting there, his hair freshly cut. It’s considerably shorter – the exact length it was when you met him. 

“Eren.” you whisper. 

It almost doesn’t feel like he’s standing there. 

“Y/N.” 

It’s a kind smile that he offers you, one that goes to the depths of his green eyes. You can’t bear to look at it, and instead, choose to focus on the smallest bloom of flowers out in the distance. 

“Levi cut your hair again.” you mumble. 

Eren shakes his head. 

“My idea.” Eren responds. 

You twist the laces of your shoes in your fingertips – the plastic a the end of the lace almost fraying from how overworn the shoes are – as you try to swallow the block in your throat and make polite conversation. 

“Any reason why?” 

“You like it better this way.” Eren states. 

You feel your throat dry. 

“What?”

“You love my hair short. You told me that on the night of the wedding.” 

You pale. He remembers. He remembers every word of your drunk ramblings – including the fact that you mentioned that his hair looks the best to you when it’s short, because it’s the exact length it was when you fell in love with him. 

Eren stands up, before turning back to you and extending his hand out. 

“Are you ready to finish this?” Eren asks. 

You take a deep breath, before putting your hand in his, and giving him a nod. 

“I’m ready.” you respond. 

The tears that come are warm and hot and they arise quickly in the few seconds that Eren takes to walk to his cue. Because what he had just said had just registered in your head. 

He cut his hair short because you like it better that way. 

Eren’s hand is warm on your shoulder, as he lightly shakes you. 

“Y/N. Wake up.” 

You open your eyes to find the tears blurring your vision, which you’re silently thankful for, as you try to look in his direction. 

“You’ll catch a cold.” Eren murmurs. 

The tone he uses – it’s the exact opposite of the gravelly tone that always catches you off guard, the one you hate for its harshness. Only because it felt wrong, because it was so antithetical to the Eren you knew. 

You shake your head, trying to remember your lines from the scene. 

“Eren? Huh? When did I fall asleep?” 

“You must have been really exhausted.” Eren responds. 

“I just felt like I had a really long dream.” 

Eren turns around and smiles. 

“Let’s just take it easy and do nothing for the rest of the day. I caught some huge fish so…Y/N…why are you crying?” 

You reach up, wiping the wetness you were unable to blink away from your cheeks. 

“I don’t know. I suddenly felt like I shouldn’t be here.” 

Eren frowns, taking a deep breath, before he turns to you. You can make out that his hands are slightly shaking at his sides. 

“I’m sure Armin has been desperate to find us. But I couldn’t plunge Historia into hell and commit into an endless cycle of killing and I couldn’t bring myself to bring genocide upon everyone else outside the island.” 

Eren pauses, as he balls his hands into a fist at his side. 

“Let’s just go…live out my remaining four years in peace and quiet. Just the two of us, with no other people.” 

You recognize that tone too but this one almost makes you wince. Because it’s the quiet begging – that you heard once on the beach, years prior. 

“You’re the one who said that, Y/N. It was your idea.” he whispers. 

You stand up, looping your arms around his torso as you bury your head into the side of his neck and get a strong whiff of his cologne. 

“Yeah. I’m sorry I said that. I know we promised to not talk about that.” you whisper. 

You can feel Eren shaking underneath your touch as he brings his hands up. 

“Can we make another promise? Once I’m dead, throw this scarf away. You’re going to live a long time after this.” 

You pinch your eyes shut, in anticipation for the next line. 

“Forget all about me. Please, Y/N.” 

You swallow hard, before pulling back to look at him, and his deep green eyes. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t.” you whisper. 

Eren gives you a silent nod, before he leans forward, and slots his lips against yours. It’s the opposite of four nights ago and in no way fiery, burning, or searing your skin. It’s the exact opposite – warm, tender, and final. 

Eren pulls back, reaching up to tuck your hair behind your ear, before you hear Levi’s voice. 

“Cut! That’s a series wrap on Attack on Titan.” 

There’s a group of resounding cheers, as you and Eren pull back, and give each other a lingering smile. Eren raises his fingers to his lips, tracing the skin, before Hange’s absolute manhanding of him directs his attention away. 

--

You toss and turn in the bed for three hours before you give up on sleeping all together. 

It’s the only reason that you’re trudging back over to the set in the cold, the key pressed into the palm of your hand and the book tucked into the warmth of your arm. 

You’d thought long and hard about all the lasts you were experiencing in the past few days – which is precisely why you were utterly shocked that you had forgotten about this one. 

It was only in your tossing and turning that you realized you hadn’t even paid a last homage to the piano that you learned to play on – and the sudden thought of it had your legs moving before you even realized that you were marching over there in the dark of the night. 

You take the key and jam it into the lock, wiggling the entire knob before the door clicks open, and you march into the unexpected brightness of the set. You’re taken aback by the golden lights still being left on, before you hear the tune of the piano being played in the back corner and follow your way to the sound. 

You walk closer to find that it’s Eren playing. 

He’s leaning over the piano, fingers lightly pressing the keys, as he hums along to the tune. You ball your hands into fists as you walk up next to him, clearing your throat, and take the seat next to him – slightly breaking his concentration from the humming. 

“Do you mind if I join you?” you ask. 

“Not at all. I was waiting for you to get here.” Eren states. 

You give him a weary look, before placing your book on the stand right next to his, before placing your hands on the keys and trying to mimic the tune that he was playing. 

“How did you know I was going to come?” 

“I had a feeling. I’ve been seeing signs.” 

You shake your head, fighting the urge to smile. 

“And what did the signs tell you?” 

“It’s not exactly that they told me something. It’s more like they were pushing me, if that makes sense.” 

You nod. 

“Pushing you where?” 

“Only place I want to be. To you, of course.” Eren responds. 

You take your hands off the keys and place them at your sides, before lifting your legs and criss crossing them on the piano bench. Eren seems to follow your cue, because he pulls his hands off the keys too, and slides over so his legs are on each side of the bench and he can face you properly. 

“Can I tell you something?” Eren asks. 

You can feel your heart racing. Like you’re imagining what’s happening. 

“You know that feeling you get sometimes, that…that this might all be like a bad dream and you’ve just woken up from it?” 

You shake your head. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” 

Eren reaches forward, reaching for both of your wrists before interlocking his fingers with yours. 

“Those few seconds that you really notice things…when…when you can see the love in the room.” Eren whispers. 

You tilt your head to the side, confused. Eren shakes his head, filled with an almost infinite patience to make you understand, as he leans closer. 

“I’ll give you an example. When I was a kid, I waited at a bus stop for my mom to pick me up. It was one of the rare times that she was late and I sat there and really thought about it. That she was my mother. That I only get to have one mother and she was always going to be mine – and that really I was grateful for it.” 

You smile. 

“I had another one. One of my last days of school, I met these two people who had apparently been waiting to meet me for a really long time, who wanted to pitch an idea to me. All of my teachers were telling me that it was really important so I made my best effort that morning – trying to do my hair nice despite the fact that I was filled with a nervous ball of anxiety – and made my way over to the room at the end of the class. I walked in and Hange and Levi were sitting in the chairs, leaning back and arguing about something. Every shred of nervousness I had left me the second I walked through the door and was replaced with the exact opposite when they introduced themselves to me.” 

“I’m starting to get it.” you respond. 

“The first time you slept next to me, I –” Eren’s voice cracks. 

You pale. And Eren pauses, trying to shake the nervousness from his voice, as he looks back up at you, green eyes swimming in glistening tears. 

“Eren?” you whisper. 

“The first time you slept next to me, the moon glimmered across my ceiling through the window. There were five or six seconds where there was a pale light shining over you and me, together, and I could see that you have a mole on your left cheek and another one on the side of your neck. And it was the first time I thought that I wanted to be able to stop time just there – just right there – and live in that moment forever so I could memorize what you look like. My heart was aching and it was tender in my chest because I didn’t want to move forward.” 

You bite down on your cheek, trying to stifle the tears. 

“I’ve had hundreds of those moments with you. Tracing starlight on your skin, hearing you sing at the piano, every single fucking time you’ve blessed me by kissing me. Every single one I’ve had, that you’ve…” 

Eren shakes his head, before the tears start properly falling from his eyes. 

“Every single moment you’ve privileged me by giving has made me want to stop time and stay there, with you in it, forever.” 

You swallow the hardness in your throat down. 

“Why are you telling me this?” you whisper. 

“Because I want more of them. I want so many more of them.” 

Eren looks down, his tears falling flat against the backs of your hands. 

“I want to be selfish. You’re the love in the room. You’re my moon. You’re every fucking thing I can think of and you’ve in every single good thing that I see. You take all my love with you wherever you go and I’m tired of being apart from you. You….you’re the only fucking thing I’ve wanted since the first time I’ve ever met you and everything has conspired for you and I to be here right now – and for you to let me back in.”  

“Eren.” you whisper.

“Please.” 

Eren breaks a smile. 

“Please, I don’t want to beg. I can if you want me too but, just –” he starts. 

You smile back, recognizing the same words that he had repeated to you on the beach. 

 “But do you still belong to me?” Eren asks. 

You offer him a smile, as he lifts your hands, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. 

“Please say yes.” he whispers. 

“I was only ever going to be yours to begin with, Eren.” 

You watch as Eren pinches his eyes together, like he’s almost in pain – as he recognizes what it means – before he leans forward, tucking the stray hairs behind your ears. You give him a smile and he leans forward, almost hesitant as he closes the space between you two and smiles into the kiss. 

It’s infinitely better than the last time that you and Eren kissed on this bench, for the first time, almost ten years ago. 

Because it’s laced with all of the love that you’ve experienced with Eren – the warmth of the early love, the aching yearning in the middle, and the sweet return after all this time apart. 

He still feels the same. He’s still your Eren. 

Eren leans back, hands shaking and breathing hard as he leans against your forehead, his eyes pinched shut. 

“I love you.” Eren whispers. 

“You said that already.” you respond. 

Eren leans back and glares. But all you can do is smile – before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the side of his cheek. 

“I love you too.” you repeat. 

You lean forward, pressing your ear against Eren’s beating heart as he wraps his arms around you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you can’t help but burrow yourself deeper into his embrace – unable to stop the quiet tears from escaping your eyes and staining his shirt. 

“Do you think Marco’s dancing in his grave wherever he is?” Eren asks. 

You laugh. 

“For sure.” you whisper. 

Eren smiles, wiping the tears away from your eyes. 

“You know, you’re kind of stupid.” Eren says. 

“What?” 

“How did you remember the other night wrong? If you kissed me first, how did you end up with the hickey?” 

You bring your hand up to your neck, touching the skin. 

“That’s a hickey?” you ask. 

“What did you think it was?” Eren asks. 

“I don’t know, I kind of remember hitting my head when we were drunk. I assumed it was another inebriation-related injury.” 

Eren smiles, before leaning forward and pressing three kisses to your cheeks. 

“No. That was me. Kissing you.” 

You roll your eyes, as you lean forward and press your fingers into the dents of his dimples. 

“Speaking of, I have something for you. Well, more like I stole something from you, but…you get the idea.” Eren states. 

“What is it?” 

Eren reaches into his pocket, only to procure a green slip of finger, and holds it right in front of your face. You snatch it out of his fingers – recognizing his scribbled writing on the top – before you shove him in the side. 

“You took this? I thought it got lost in the mix of packing and everything.” 

You open it up and read Eren’s handwriting, of the request he gave you months prior. 

I know how you feel. You don’t have to say it. 

“This is…” 

“The stage directions from Season Two. When we were supposed to kiss, before it got cut out. I wrote it.” 

“Yeah, I can tell. Your handwriting is still as shit as it was when you were twelve.” 

Eren pauses, before snatching the slip back from you. 

“I mean, I was the one who wrote it into the script. I was helping Hange and Levi with scenes long before we knew about it. And I wrote that about you.” 

You smile, clutching the little slip close to your heart. 

The same Eren – with hundreds of gestures that fall deaf to your ears, that are never for show, and just an act of love  – letters to the Institute and stage directions filled with every part of him. 

“And I wrote the song for it too, if you want to hear it.” Eren finishes. 

You give him a nod, as you both slide your legs over the bench again, and Eren sits up and braces his fingers against the piano keys. You rest your head against his shoulder, smiling as he presses a kiss to the top of your head, before his voice fills the air. 

Clear blue water High tide came and brought you in And I could go on and on, on and on, and I will Skies grew darker Currents swept you out again And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone

In silent screams In wildest dreams I never dreamed of this

This love is good This love is bad This love is alive back from the dead, oh, oh, oh These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh Ohh Oh, oh, oh

Your kiss, my cheek I watched you leave Your smile, my ghost I fell to my knees When you're young, you just run But you come back to what you need

Unbeknownst to you and Eren, you’re not the only ones who have trouble sleeping that night – and you’re not the only ones who figure that spending time on set would be a good use of the time. It’s why Hange and Levi decide to trek to the set in the middle of the night. 

And when they make their way over to the set, they wriggle the door only to find that it’s already wide open and that the sound of the piano is filling the acoustics of the room. And to their sweet surprise, it’s because it's you and Eren – sitting at the piano together, pressing kisses to each other’s cheeks. 

“Levi. They’re –” 

“I know.” he whispers. 

Hange looks over at Levi, only to find him smiling from ear to ear. 

“Should we say something?” 

Levi looks over at the two of you and shakes his head. 

“No.” he whispers. 

Hange smiles, before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

“Let’s go back to bed.” 

“Yeah. I can finally rest in fucking peace.” Levi responds. 

--

Eren makes you breakfast the following morning. It almost gives you deja vu – but the good kind – watching him make the bowl of ramen as you stand there by his side, sitting on the counter and dangling your feet over the granite. 

Eren uses his free hand to hold yours. 

“Does it make you sad?” you ask. 

“What?” 

“That this is like our last time eating ramen in this house together.” 

Eren smiles and squeezes your hand three times. 

“No.” he responds, before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

You push him slightly. 

“Levi and Hange could come any minute.” 

“Are you twelve? Why would we hide this from them?” 

You pause. 

“I don’t know. I…I was kind of thinking that we’d wait to tell people, or at least everyone, until we…I don’t know. Get some time to ourselves.” you respond. 

Eren smiles. 

“I like it. We’ll do whatever you want to.” 

You frown. 

“Well, I don’t want you to follow my lead just because. If you want to scream it from the rooftops and tell everyone, I am more than happy to do that.” you clarify. 

“No, no. Really. I don’t want to tell anyone – just Levi and Hange.” Eren responds. 

You smile. 

“Okay. I can do just Levi and Hange.” 

“Are you praying on our downfall? Why did I just hear my name?” Levi asks, as he shuffles into the room and spares the two of you a glance in the kitchen. 

“But of course! What else would we do in our free time?” you respond, as you give Hange a nod as they set the kettle for Levi’s tea. 

Eren waits for the noodles to boil as he turns around, opening his arm up and tucking you into the crook of his arm, as you loop your arms around his torso. Levi spares a glance to Hange, before looking back at the two of you. 

“Do you two have something you want to share with the class?” Levi asks. 

“Nothing you haven’t guessed already.” you respond. 

Hange gives an excited squeal, before reaching forward and wrapping their arms around the two of you and screaming in your ears. 

“I am so fucking happy for you guys! I almost burst into tears when I saw you guys kissing last night!” 

You feel your eyes widen. 

“You saw us what?” 

“Levi and I were feeling all sentimental and stuff so we wanted to go over to the set just to soak it all in for the last time. When we got there, the two of you were kissing! I wanted to interrupt but I figured you know…give you your privacy and all that.” Hange squeals. 

“Thank god.” you murmur. 

It would been infinitely embarrassing if Hange and Levi were there to watch what happened after. 

“Hange. Part of leaving them there alone was also not mentioning the fact that we saw them there.” Levi deadpans. 

Levi gives Hange a passive glare, before turning back to the two of you. 

“Don’t fuck it up this time.” he states. 

You both smile. 

“We won’t.” 

“Good. Well, I’m happy for you two. I can tell that the love was worth the wait and…and all the trouble too.” 

You both look at each other and smile, before Eren turns around and starts plating the bowls. And you sink in the feeling – trying to paint all the details to memory – and compare them to the first time the four of you ate together. 

After Eren broke the bowl because of your noise cancelling headphones, Levi and Hange telling you what method acting was for the first time – Eren promising that you two were going to be the best. 

“Hey, Levi.” 

“Yeah?” he responds. 

“Did you find out anything about the people who are buying the house after us?” 

Levi turns to look at you. 

“Why do you ask?” 

You shrug. 

“I don’t know. I just want to make sure that it was someone who was going to love the house just as much as we do.” 

Levi looks back at you, before giving you a smile. 

“It’s a young couple. Margaret and Bruce. They’re big into music so they wanted the set space for the acoustics.” 

You turn back to Eren, eyes wide, as he presses a kiss to your forehead. 

“I’m not sad about this breakfast at all. We have a hundred more in front of us.” he whispers, before taking the two steaming bowls to the table where Hange and Levi are sitting. 

You shake your head, unable to contain your smile, before you jump off the counter and join the three of them. 

Together, but not for the last time.

--

next part linked here

an: one more. someone ask for the birds of a feather track list i have it ready.

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