#method acting

[zombie-jed]

The dedication to the role 🥵

[bodhrancomedy]

I also refuse to method act because I get a lot of abused and mentally unwell characters and I like being mentally stable :)

[prokopetz]

"Method acting is bullshit because actors only use it as an excuse to be assholes" actors go method as nice characters all the time. You just don't hear about it because an actor spending six months exclusively wearing underwear with their role's initials embroidered on them because they feel that's what their character would do doesn't make for good clickbait.

[myfandomprompts]

“I think method acting gets a bad rap nowadays, but if you consider it [in relation to] people’s time, it’s certainly not a bad thing.” - EWAN MITCHELL, for The Face

[The A24 Project]

[whovio]

Michael about playing Aziraphale:

“I had conversations with Neil and Douglas about the story and the character, and so it starts to develop a little bit. Some things Neil would have a definite opinion on, and then there were others where he didn’t want to be too prescriptive because he wanted me to bring what I thought to it as well. Then I had conversations with the costume designer, Claire Anderson, and she brings her character sketches and we start to collaborate, and the same occurs about hair and make-up. We’re talking about the look of the character here, and still playing around with ideas, and then suddenly I’m sitting there next to David at the table read-through and you have to just open your mouth. That’s when you get a feel for who this person really is. You also have a gut response to the character beside you. So, my version of Aziraphale starts to get a bit more flesh on his bones in response to what David is doing. But until I actually stand there in custom, next to him, on set, and they say “Action” , I’m never really sure what’s going to come out. And then I have to let go. All that stuff I’ve just described, all those conversations, the costume fittings and readings, the drawings of what my bookshop will look like, the pictures, ideas and feelings - those will turn into something and as an actor, you just let that happen.

It’s not conscious. What tends to happen is that I get an instinctive response to the character and the tone of the piece, but I don’t think too much about how that will express itself in the performance.

For me, it’s about keeping a rich and imaginative world going on in your head while you are in the character, and keeping that alive and vivid. It’s about being responsive to that, and not thinking too much about how it’s coming across. So the story gets expressed through the character, and the character expresses itself through me.”

Good Omens TV Companion

[tomathy-inside-of-the-it]

Oh he’s lost his mind good to know

[seeingivy]

speak now

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

songs mentioned: the greatest by lana del ray and speak now by taylor swift! (minor mentions: daylight and forever winter by taylor swift)

an: LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION BITCHES!!!

previous part linked here

--

There’s something strange about showing Eren around an elementary school. Or strange about being around Eren at all. 

There’s an overarching hunch, a quiet fear that parrots in your mind whenever you’re with him, stuck in those quiet pockets of time that you feel like he can see right through you, that every secret thought ricocheting in your mind is one that he’s entirely cognizant of - and that he hates it for it.

It almost fills you with disgust. How badly you want to be around him all the time, to be able to read him the way you’re positive that he can read you, just so that you can know what he’s thinking. 

Is he upset with the way you reacted? Does he know how grateful you are towards him? Is he consoled by the fact that he’s fully forgiven? Does he care?

Does he think about you as much as you think about him? 

The elementary school makes it worse. Almost emotional. Because it’s the fact that even though it’s not your school, it’s exactly how you remember it - so nostalgic that it’s nauseating. Though the colors are less vibrant, almost too dull this time around. The desks are comically small, when they used to be so expansive that you could barely reach the front corners. 

“Did you ever collect Box-Tops?” you ask Eren. 

He looks at you, face wrinkled in confusion as he shrugs. And the second his eyes lock with yours, you quickly swallow down your gulp of shame - at the lost, almost pinched look in his eyes - as he quickly averts his eyes. 

Does he hate you for bringing it up? Does he want to berate you for rubbing in the fact that he had no semblance of a normal childhood? 

You take the little jar, the little cardboard slips secured in the glass, as you hold it up to him. 

“These are Box-Tops. They’re usually on the top of cereal boxes and granola bars and stuff. You can collect them and bring them to class and whoever gets the most in your grade usually gets a pizza party. It’s a charity-type thing where they get more funds for things like arts programs at your school by turning them into the foundation.” you murmur, placing the little jar in his hands. 

“You can’t just…fund the schools properly?” Eren asks, wrinkling his nose. 

“Are you crazy, Eren? Why would they ever do that?” you respond, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Eren smiles.  

“Figures. D’you ever win?” 

“Win what?” 

“The pizza party.” 

“Oh, maybe once or twice. They usually only buy two pizzas so you get a comically small slice so that it’s enough to go around for everyone. And I had Falco and Colt to share with - we had to split all the Box Tops we collected evenly between the three of us so I always felt lame turning like three or four in.” you state. 

Does he think your complaint is stupid? That you should be grateful that you even got to experience it in the first place? 

“What if there was an even number?” 

“Rock paper scissors. Then Falco started crying when he lost, so we ended up giving it to him anyway.” you state. 

“Very on brand.” 

Eren smiles - brightly this time - as he sets the jar back onto the top of the filing cabinets and the two of you continue to awkwardly pace around the room. Eren’s overwhelmed with the memory - of Falco sobbing at his first Canadian Christmas when he was asked what he was thankful for - and the consistency makes him warm.

There’s something unsettling about the room - about how foreign it is to him. There’s a weird echo panging in Eren’s chest, somewhat caused by how longingly you seem to be looking at every little detail of the room. Running your hand over the hardwood desks, picking up the box of crayons, almost frowning at the pictures.

The thoughts that run through Eren’s mind are almost paralyzing, that he can barely keep his beating heart collected in his chest, and more awkwardly, that you know and are choosing to ignore it for civility sake. 

Are you going to leave him when the show ends? Would you have left him if you lived a different life too?

Are you never going to end up together?

“Did you ever see Falco and Colt? When you were at school? S’that like a thing that happened?” Eren asks, poking around each of the little flyers on the bulletin board.

“Ah. Not really. Though sometimes when I was going to art class and Falco was going to computers or something, we’d kind of pass each other. We’d always be really excited to see each other. When we saw Colt, he always pretended like he didn’t even know who we were.” you state. 

Eren can't stop the thoughts.

Do you hate him for bringing up a life that was robbed from you? The security of a school, of a quiet life because he selfishly picked you to be at his side? 

Eren hums in response, as you head over to the last wall - the one left untouched by your inspecting eyes - as you fight the urge to smile. There’s little pictures of each of the students, Teddy right towards the top with a big toothy smile on his face. You point it out to Eren as you catch it before him, memorizing the soft look that spreads over his face when he finally catches light of it. 

“You ever see Zeke?” you ask. 

“Well, we technically watched a movie with him in it? So, that counts?” Eren shrugs. 

“That’s right. Having your own parents and your brother as your source material must be so crazy.”

The thought that follows your comment nauseates Eren.

Are you trying to point out how different you are, so much so that you’ll never be able to be together? 

“I can imagine exactly how you would be in elementary school.” Eren states, slinging his arm around your shoulder and bringing his face nearly flush with yours. 

“Oh yeah?” you ask.

“You’d be like…this girl.” 

You inspect the picture, rolling your eyes at the cop-out answer. Each of the little pictures is labeled with their hobbies or their interests, and naturally, Eren’s picked the girl who says she wants to be a songwriter. 

“You’re funny.” you respond, sarcastically. 

“S’nothing funny about it.” Eren responds. 

“You’d be like…this one. He seems like the type of kid who would pull on a girl's pigtails, which according to Mikasa, is something that you actually did.” 

Eren’s going to kill Jean. 

“That’s just how you get a girl's attention.” Eren responds. 

“Is that right? Had something you wanted to tell Mikasa really badly?” you smile. 

Eren’s almost embarrassed that you know. That he feels the need to defend himself, to prove his devotion to you even though there would be no reason for him to do that. 

“Ugh. Who told you?” Eren asks. 

You can’t help but laugh. 

“I can’t remember. Maybe Jean?” 

“It was two days!” Eren whines. 

You’re not sure how the topic came up, but Jean humbled you very fast when you claimed that you were the first person that Eren ever liked. Apparently you weren’t because Eren had sported a two day crush on Mikasa when they were younger, before he ever met you, which left you embarrassed - but also ready to tease him to oblivion. 

“Eremika…” you state. 

Eren clamps his hand over your mouth, as you quickly shove him off. 

“Shut up.” Eren states. 

“It’s funny! Mikasa’s getting married and you’re stuck at a five-year old’s piano concert. With seats all the way in the back, mind you.” 

Eren rolls his eyes, as he leans back and sits on top of one of the desks. You follow suit, ignoring the little creak, as your legs swing over the top of the desk. 

“What was your signature move in elementary school for the boys?” 

“Was I supposed to have game as a seven year old?” 

Eren scoffs. 

“Well, we can’t all be talented.” Eren teases. 

“I hardly qualify hair pulling as a game. That’s an annoying way to get attention.” 

Eren smiles, leaning forward and curling his hands around a lock of your hair, before he lightly tugs. His face is so close to yours that you can make out the tiniest wrinkles in his skin, marked around his eyes. 

“Annoyed?” Eren teases, his voice barely a whisper. 

You shake your head, ever so slightly. A jarring movement feels too loud, like he’ll move away at the smallest of breaths, like a deer in the woods. 

“Down to my very core.” you respond. 

Eren smiles, the wrinkles even more pronounced, as you almost lean your forehead against his, skin ghosting each others. The thoughts are racing at this point, so fast that Eren can barely feel his breaths. 

Is he ever going to be in love with someone who isn’t you? 

“I feel the need to clarify. It was two days.” Eren states. 

“Two days of hopeless pining.” 

“Nothing compared to the three years of it that I did with you.” 

You roll your eyes, cheeks burning. 

He knows. It's written all over your face.

“Nothing compares to a puppy-love childhood crush.” you state. 

“That’s where you’re wrong. I get the whole innocence of the puppy-love thing, but nothing pales comparison to the intensity of a teenage dream.” Eren states. 

Eren watches your eyes waver and feels his throat constrict. 

You know. It's written all over his face.

Thankfully for him, and less so for you, Sukuna ruins the movement. His shouting from the doorway breaks that quiet bubble, quickly pulling you both farther away from each other. 

“What the hell are you guys doing? It’s starting in five minutes.” 

--

You and Eren settle into your seats at the back, right by the door, as the lights dim in the little auditorium. They’re a warm golden, the smell of fresh paint tickling your nostrils.

Sitting all the way in the back has you and Eren weaving your heads around all the people crowded in front of you, the tiny cell phone lights illuminating each row. 

You catch sight of Lana and Sukuna are aggressively gesturing at Teddy on the stage from their cushy seats in the front row at your left - Sukuna trying to get him to smile for a picture while Lana tries to signal to him to fix his untied shoelaces. The coddling makes your heart burn.  

Eren digs into his coat pocket and pulls out a little camcorder that he hands to you. 

“For?” you ask. 

“Can you record it for me? I just…want to watch him in real time.” 

You smile. 

“Of course, I can.” you murmur, taking the little camera from him and flipping it open in your hands. 

“Don’t record the other kids. I don’t give a fuck.” Eren states. 

“Who knew you felt so passionately about kindergarten piano concert etiquette?” you jeer. 

“You would be shocked. Lana’s basically out of storage by the time she gets to Teddy.” Eren groans. 

You roll your eyes. 

“I think it’s sweet.” 

Eren wonders if there’s anything you can’t find the good in. His wavering suspicion is that it’s him - that you’re the worst thing he’s ever seen. So tainted that there’s barely any semblance of light left in him. 

Eren’s hanging onto the end of your words, wanting to hear the spiral of thoughts running through your mind. Your affinity to look towards the positive, to soak up all the good, to point out all the love in the room - it was something he found himself chasing even though he knew he was barely half deserving of it. 

“I just mean…when I was younger, my mom would tell me that my friend’s mom recorded me singing too and then sent it to her. And I was always really touched that they saw me and didn’t think god, it’s another kid I have to sit through. Like no, that’s Y/N! That’s my daughter’s friend.” 

Eren deflates. He figures that it comes so naturally for you - seeing the good - because he thinks the law of attraction is real; that like attracts like, that people find what’s similar to them. And that he always seems to be the antithesis to it. 

He’s always the exception to your rule. 

“And some parents are late. They’re running here from work, or…or they were late because they had another kid to take care of first and…and it still makes the kid feel special, even if they don’t know it.” you whisper. 

You twist the camera around in your hands as Eren gives you a lopsided smile, an underlying sentiment you can’t really place mirrored in his features. You’d memorize his expression just to agonize about it later, in the safe confines of your room, but your train of thought is cut off by a tapping on your shoulder. 

It’s a little girl - with dark skin and braided hair - barely the age of seven. Her little legs can’t even reach the tan colored floor, her sparkly purple shoes glittering in the dim light. 

“Hi.” she states. 

Eren leans over, a cautious arm on the small of your back, as you lean your head closer to hers and whisper. 

“Hi. Is something wrong?” you whisper. 

“Our dresses are matching colors.” she states. 

You look down - the white flowers printed on your dress matching her frilly pleats. It’s an painfully relieving breath, as you give her a smile. 

“My name’s Y/N. It’s really nice to meet you.” 

“Y/N? Like the pop artist?” 

You freeze, freezing cold ice shooting down your spine. 

“I wish my mom named me after someone cool. My name’s Grace. It was my grandma’s name.” 

You can barely muster out a response, Eren’s fingertips at your side squeezing shaking the shock out of your mind. 

“I’m sure your grandma was pretty cool.” you respond, barely registering the words as they leave your lips. 

“I mean, yeah. She was old. But no one’s as cool as Y/N L/N.” she responds, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

You can see Eren smiling out of your peripheral vision, giving a polite nod to the parents seated at her side, who’ve now caught onto the fact that their daughter is talking to a complete stranger. Eren’s quick to diffuse the situation, holding out a hand to them. 

“I’m Eren. This is Y/N. We’re here for Teddy. Curly blonde hair, big brown eyes?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. I’m sorry…did you say your name was Y/N?” 

You give them a sheepish smile, bringing your hands to the coarse skin above your elbows and pinching. 

“That’s right.” 

“Our daughter’s a really big fan.” they state. 

You smile, looking back down at her dark eyes, this time wide in shock. 

“Is that right?” you ask, trying to give her the warmest smile you can. 

Her parents lean down closer to her ears, the overwhelming sense of a flowery perfume taking over your senses, as you watch them talk to her, softly. 

“Okay. Ask her nicely, okay?” they ask. 

Grace gives them an obedient nod, before turning to you and puffing her chest out to you. 

“Can I have a hug?” 

“Oh. You…you want a hug?” 

“Please? It’ll be quick.” she asks, her little voice shrill with a hopeful tone. 

There’s a soft sense of elation that spreads through you, your cheeks warm at such an innocent request, as you can barely stop your arms from shaking. You open up your arms to her, as she nearly jumps into your embrace, and you squeeze her little frame as tightly as you can. The smell of strawberries wafts off her hair, accompanied by a soft giggling sound in your ear that nearly brings tears to your eyes. 

You look up to find her parents, an awkward pinched smile in their eyes, as you give them a polite smile. 

“I promise, I’ll take a picture with her after the show, okay? And if I forget, please come find me and remind me.” 

The relief is apparent in their faces - their sickeningly grateful smiles over something as simple as a picture - as you let go and she settles back into the seat next to you. 

You have to settle for recording Teddy with one hand, a deathlike grip in the camera, only because Grace refuses to let go of your other hand for the rest of the show. 

--

Eren’s surprisingly really good with kids. Or really, not surprisingly at all, because you were finding it hard to identify something that Eren was really bad at. Because even the mistakes he did make were so painfully endearing, so warmly thoughtful that you could barely accost him for it. 

He's making jokes with all the kids - participating in their rock paper scissors contests, playing pranks on their parents, and stealing cookies for them when people aren't looking.

You guys are the last ones to leave the school. But it’s only because Eren’s so enthralled with talking to all the passing people - taking pictures, signing napkins, and making phone calls to all their loved ones - that it makes your chest swell. 

The narrowed eyes still make you nervous, an underlying feeling of inadequacy - of embarrassment for hiding out for so long - is all but nauseating, something Sukuna picks up on right after Eren. 

He lets Lana take the lead on the pictures and mingling with all the parents, apparently something that was Sukuna’s forté, as he keeps his arm linked with yours, backs cold against the cement wall.  

“You know, you can go make your rounds with Lana. I don’t want to ruin your son’s piano concert for you.” you state. 

“This shit is overrated.” 

You smile. 

“You’re lying.” you state. 

Sukuna looks over at you, brown eyes fixed on yours, as you watch a smile curl on his face. It’s almost boyish - and it’s the first time that you’re acutely aware of the fact that Sukuna’s probably the youngest one here - living a life so vastly different from yours. 

“I am lying.” Sukuna states. 

“Do you like it here, Sukuna?” you whisper. 

“I’m better at this than I was at the whole - award show, celebrity world thing. People here are really easily impressed.” 

“Is that right?” 

“I handed a woman a lemonade earlier and she said God bless you. Over a fucking lemonade.” 

“That’s just basic human decency, sweetheart. Were you raised by wolves?” you ask. 

Sukuna scoffs. 

“Basically.” he responds. 

You hum in response, watching Lana crouch on the ground and press her cheek to Teddy’s as Eren quickly snaps the picture for them. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Sukuna asks. 

“Is me saying no going to stop you?” you ask. 

“Probably not.” 

“Proceed.” you respond. 

“So, what did you really do for two years? And don’t give me the same shitty bullshit as last time. I want to know what it was that you did.” he responds, tone unrelenting. 

You pause, mulling over the question. You knew it would come soon enough, the utter bleakness of it all, but you suppose it's like ripping off a bandaid. That it'll become softer to talk about after you do it so many times.

“It’s not pretty.” you respond. 

“I’ve always thought you were really ugly. It’s hardly a difference for me.” 

“Lovely. In a world of boys, you really are a gentleman, Sukuna.” 

He grins, nursing the glass of lemonade in his hand. 

“To be a woman is to perform. Now, tell.” Sukuna responds.

The truth of the matter is that there’s nothing to tell. Because you didn’t do anything. 

“I got home from doing the interview and spent the entire week with Falco and Colt. I-I basically didn’t let them leave my side. Falco slept with me at night, Colt basically watched over me like a hawk.” 

It’s a crashing plate, worried eyes, and an embarrassingly debilitating loss. 

“And then Falco came into my room one day and told me that The Lucky One sold more vinyls than all of my other albums combined, in one week.” you state. 

“Non-fluff shit prevails. I’ve been telling you.” 

“I didn’t approve of that album being distributed as vinyl. For physical sales - at all. It wasn’t about the money or the records or- or any of that. And when Falco told me, I-” 

Sukuna looks over, at the lump in your throat. He knows the feeling too well - the sweaty skin, the heavy tongue, and slips his hand into yours at his side. 

“I broke his phone.” you state. 

“What?” 

“I took it from his hands and I smashed it. Then my own too. That’s partially why I never called you guys. I didn’t exactly memorize your numbers and I wasn’t in a position where I was going to just ask for them back.” you state. 

“Not like you would have called anyways.” Sukuna states.

“I only knew Mikasa was having an engagement party because she sent me a physical invitation. Only knew Marco died because of the news. I-I barely knew what any of them were doing when I was gone, still.”  

You bite your tongue, the tiniest metallic taste enveloping your mouth, as you pull the now warm, puffed up flesh away from your teeth. 

“I knew that if I came back, it would mean I would be sucked back into it. What’s your response going to be, hint at it with this song, come back like this and…I’d rather lock myself in my house then do that again. I love songwriting, but not enough to sacrifice my dignity. I enjoyed my career but it drained the life out of me.” 

Sukuna’s lip twitches. You choose to ignore it for the time being. 

“I took up different hobbies. Got a sewing machine, made sourdough from scratch, I even learned flower arranging. But, I could tell that I must have seemed like I was off my rocker or something. My parents and my brothers never really left my side, I could tell that they were always worrying about me, and-and I hated that because-”  

Sukuna stops you before you get too choked up, now standing in front of you, his back blocking the sight of you from any of the people milling around the courtyard. 

“I know that’s a shitty answer. That I should have been doing something worthwhile. But, but- I was fucking tired. I was done doing all this and I can’t exactly…be a functioning member of society or something. I can barely stand here without people giving me a second look or trying to get a discreet picture.” you whisper. 

“I just wanted to know. I’m not giving you shit for it.” he whispers. 

You frown. 

“You aren’t. But maybe you should.” 

You look over his shoulder, at Eren squishing Teddy’s cheeks with his fingers as Lana takes a picture of them - far too close to barely even get the two of them in it together. 

“He fought for me when I wasn’t even here anymore. I was moping in my house, breaking plates whenever I got frustrated, and he was still moving forward.” you murmur. 

Sukuna pauses. 

“Y/N. Don’t do that. I need you to be so careful with what the fuck you do after you leave here.” 

The sense of urgency in his voice catches you off guard. 

“What?” 

“Y/N. It won’t happen if you’re careless. You cannot wallow in your own pity about this, I need you to tread lightly, okay?” 

“What won’t happen?” 

Sukuna glares at you.

“You and him. You could spend years pointing fingers at each other, who didn’t do what. You won’t get him back if you stay there when he’s moved forward.” 

“I don’t want him.” you whisper. 

You barely believe it when it comes out of your mouth. 

“You disgust me, Y/N.” he states. 

“You’ve always had such a way with words.” 

“And you’ve always had a lack of critical thinking. Why wouldn’t you want him?” 

“Why would he want me?” 

“He just does. The same way you just do.” 

You swallow hard. 

“Fine. Be a fucking idiot for all I care. If you do ever knock some sense into that thick fucking skull of yours, just be careful. Eren knows that he has to prove he cares about you for you to come back to him. You need to know that he barely thinks he’s deserving of anything from you, so much so, that he won’t ever make the move.” 

Sukuna doesn’t mince his words. You wish he could have you through every important decision of your life just so you wouldn’t stumble and fall as much as you did. 

“Eren’s called the shots since you were fifteen. You’re going to have to call all the next ones. And for the love of god, really. I’m so tired of that fucking freeloader showing up whenever he pleases. And you look really ugly when you look sad, so just do it right please.”  

You smile. 

“Are you insinuating I’m pretty when I don’t look sad?” 

“I hope you fall off a bridge and never recover.” Sukuna responds. 

--

The sniffling cues Eren onto the fact that you’re crying. The air pressure of the plane is overwhelming in his ears, almost so loud that he misses it, but he counts himself lucky that you’ve always been an obscenely loud crier. He peeks his head over the division over your seats and reaches forward to poke your head. 

“Hey. You okay?” he asks. 

You give him a meek nod. You know for a fact that he doesn’t believe it for one second. 

“Can I come over there for a second? I don’t want to talk from so far away.” Eren asks. 

“Isn’t that like…illegal? Two people in one seat.” you murmur. 

“This is first class, the seat is basically a bed. And there’s no laws in the air.” 

You frown. 

“Eren. Laws still exist in the air. They’re just local.” 

Eren smiles. 

“Well, aren’t you a little genius? Scooch over.” 

You shift on the seat, pulling your blanket closer to you as Eren very precariously makes his way over to your seat, the two of you almost cramped in the small space. It’s almost funny how there’s barely any room, your foreheads pressed together from the lack of space. 

“Hey.” he whispers. 

“Hi.” 

“What’s wrong, Margaret?” 

You shake your head. His hands are warm on your sides. 

“Come on. Tell me. I’m really good at fixing problems.” 

“I know.” 

Eren can’t place what the tone is in your voice - but it comes out all strained and raspy - that it rubs him the wrong way. 

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” you clarify. 

“Which way do you mean it?” Eren asks. 

You sigh. 

“I mean. You handled everything considerably well, even if it wasn’t easier for you. You…you waited until I was ready to hear it, until I asked to be told your side of the story. And you put it all together, wrapped in a perfect bow with that documentary, and then took me to see Lana and Sukuna too because you knew I’d want to.” you mumble. 

“Wrapped in a ribbon. Who the fuck calls it a bow?” 

You roll your eyes, earning you a laugh from Eren that’s so loud it makes you laugh too. You reach forward to clamp your fingers over his mouth, muffling the loud sound, as you shush him loudly. 

Eren pauses. 

“I’m glad it worked. And I had a lot of time to think. You don’t have as much, but…we’ll help you. With whatever you want to do.” Eren states. 

You give him a nod, unsatisfied with the answer. 

“What were you thinking?” Eren asks. 

You fish out the little slip of your pocket, nearly smushing your face into his in the process, and place the little paper in his hand. 

“This is…Satoru Gojo’s phone number?” Eren asks. 

“Yeah. I got it from Sukuna.” 

“For what purpose?” 

You pause. 

“I’m going to bury Scott Clarkson into the ground.” 

Eren’s caught off by the answer. 

“You’re what?” 

“What answer were you expecting?” 

“I’m not mad at it. I was just thinking more…I want to write music again. I’m not a quitter.” 

You frown. 

“I thought about that. But it hasn’t exactly worked for me like that. I even tried when I was at the beach but I came up with nothing. But that’s not relevant, I don’t need to write music to end him.” 

“I mean, yeah, I guess. But it’s better that way. Using exactly what they tried to take away from you to get back at them.” Eren responds. 

You smile. 

“You’ll help me?” 

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“I’m pretty sure I made it clear that I’d do anything for you. Even this. Especially this.” 

You smile. You reach forward, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing hard. 

“Thank you. And I get what you’re saying about the music, but it just isn’t happening, so we’ll have to think of something else.” 

“I have an idea. When we get back to set, okay? I think it’ll help.” Eren states. 

You nod. 

“Okay. I trust you.” you respond. 

The sentiment sends a shiver down Eren’s spine. 

“I don’t know how it’ll go. I can’t promise that it’ll work out the way we want it.” Eren clarifies. 

You smile. 

“I was trusting you to help me get back into songwriting, not into bringing him down. I’m talking about help into being…myself again.” 

Eren’s eyes flicker, down to your lips, and then back up to your eyes. You almost swear that you imagined it. 

“Do you think I’m different?” you ask. 

“Yeah.” 

You pale. 

“Do you hate me for it?” you ask. 

Eren shakes his head. 

“I like you better like this.” he whispers.

Eren reaches forward, tucking the loose hairs back behind your ear, before his warm fingers are secured around the nape of your neck. He does it a second time, looks at your lips, and this time you swear the corners of his mouth are twitching too. 

“You weren’t very confident when I met you, almost like you didn’t think you were cut out to do this. Unsure of why you even had a place in the room. Then you went so far away from me, worked yourself so hard, that I barely remember you even smiling at any of us anymore. You were angry, then you were heartbroken, and apparently you broke a lot of plates when you weren’t with any of us?” 

You roll your eyes. 

“I’m going to kill Falco.” 

“Colt.” Eren corrects. 

You scoff. 

“No way. Eren, he kind of hates you.” 

“Kind of? Colt was ready to punch me in the face when he first got to set. Rightfully so.” Eren responds. 

“It’s actually not rightfully so. He didn’t even know what you did.” you state. 

Eren pauses. 

“I know. He got here and asked me first thing what it was I did to you. Then he wanted to punch me in the face when I told him.” 

You shrug. You can tell that Eren’s waiting for an explanation - green eyes looking at you expectantly as you give him a nod. 

“It felt wrong to talk to him about it. Falco knew you a little bit better, but even for him…they would just start bad mouthing you just to make me feel good. But that would just make me feel worse because…I don’t get it. Hating someone just because things went wrong.”  

You crack your knuckles. 

“It’s like Ricky. I can badmouth him. He was horrible. He’s a bad person and he literally left me out there to rot just to embarrass me. He did it to Lana, to Teddy. You…I just thought you didn’t like me. I couldn’t really fault you for how you felt. And I loved you. I don't get off on talking shit about you when you were my entire world.” 

Eren smiles. 

“You had every right to badmouth me.” 

“But that’s the thing. I just didn’t want to. Even if things ended badly, you still made me really happy. We still did this entire thing together and-” 

“We’ll finish it together.” 

You smile, giving him a nod.

“You know when you’re in a relationship and you feel like you get to see a different side of that person? Because you’re so close?” Eren asks.

“Yeah.” 

“That’s how you came back to us. Feeling close again. A fresh slate, back to what drew us all to you in the first place. So many things in this industry, in this job are so fake. I mean our job is to literally pretend. You are an overwhelmingly genuine person. Even more so now. You are different. We’re all going to love you for it.” Eren states. 

For someone who’s so convinced he’s horrible with words, Eren always seems to have the perfect ones for you. 

“Will you leave if things go south?” you ask. 

“No.” 

“Then we can do this. I’m positive.” you state. 

“What makes you so sure?” 

You squeeze Eren's hand three times.

“I don’t have anything to lose, Eren.” 

--

When you get back to set the following morning, you don’t miss Connie very loudly whispering with Eren behind you. You’re positive Jean and Mikasa are eavesdropping just as much as you are, their eyes fixed a little too hard waiting for Eren’s response. 

Did you guys kiss?

No, Connie, am I crazy?  

It makes your heart sink a little bit, but you ignore it as Eren comes up at your side, giving you a bright smile. He reaches for the little glass jar to your left and gives you a wink before he calls for everyone’s attention. 

“First things first, Falco. Good job on press. That was one of the funniest fucking interviews I’ve seen in my life.” 

Falco laughs, as you turn your head to the side, pretending to do a little bow as everyone pats him on the back, and you look at Mikasa. 

“What did I miss?” 

Mikasa smiles, pulling up the video at your side. 

“Levi’s direction was to not answer any questions about you. Naturally, that was all they asked about so we all decided to coordinate our answers and basically say that we didn’t know you.” Mikasa states. 

“What?” 

“It sounds stupid, but it was so funny. Some of them started actually believing it. And Falco took it so far, he started pretending like he wasn’t even related to you.” 

Mikasa hands you the phone as you play the video, barely containing your laughter at how stupid the video is. Falco’s so confident in his words, so self-assured that it’s making Gabi burst out into laughter, and obviously messes with the interviewer so bad that they can’t even continue. 

It makes you happier than it should - their first experience being so overwhelmingly positive.

“And we all wore ribbons in our hair, which didn’t help matters anyway.” Mikasa states. 

“Levi’s a menace. He’s milking this so much.” you state. 

“That was actually my idea.” 

“Oh. I didn’t mean-” 

“I know. I just want you coming back to be a big deal. It’s not an easy thing for you to do. You’re going to get every bit of hype for it.” 

You smile, reaching forward to link arms with her, as Eren makes a booing sound. 

“Are you done? Can I talk now?” 

You shove Eren. 

“Stop being rude.” 

“I’m not being rude. You guys interrupted me.” 

“Why were you talking before us? That’s so inconsiderate of you.” Mikasa states. 

You laugh as Eren rolls his eyes, handing each of them a tiny white slip and a marker, before he takes his spot next to you and gives you a big smile. 

“Y/N is going to write a song. Multiple actually. I want you to write down ideas for her and she’s going to pull one out every morning and read it to us. Then she has to play whatever she came up with, even if it was only one line, at the end of that day.” Eren states. 

“Eren.” you start.

“No buts. You guys know the drill.” 

You watch as everyone follows his instructions, excitedly whispering to each other as their pens move, and you look over at Eren. He drops his own slip into the cup, the first one, with his name neatly looped on the outside as he gives you a smile. 

“I’m not going to be able to write anything.” you state. 

“Well, you heard the rules. You’ll have to write something.” 

“Eren.” 

He shakes his head, handing you his journal, opening it to the marked page as you flip through the sheets. 

“I did this a while back, when I was getting back into it. It helps a lot more than you think. And you can ask the person who gave you the slip for help if you really need it, but that person only.” 

You take the book for him, watching everyone give you excited smiles as the cup fills up just as fast, and flip though the pages. 

“write a song about me and sukuna” And underneath, the lyrics to a song called Daylight. 

“write a song about connie’s one year anniversary of being sober” with Levi’s distinct handwriting and the lyrics to a song called Forever Winter scribbled messily on the page. 

And the last one makes your throat bob in your chest. 

“write a song about y/n”

You read over the lyrics, pressing your fingers against the ink, as you fervently read the lyrics. 

We didn't know that we had it all But nobody warns you before the fall Don't leave, I just need a wake-up call

I'm facing the greatest The greatest loss of them all The culture is lit and I had a ball I guess I'm signing off after all

You look up at him, his attention drawn away as he shuffles the cup in his hand to mix up the slips and then holds the cup out to you. Everyone’s watching, waiting for you to pull a piece, as you set the book down, and give them all a meek nod. 

There’s a resounding sound of cheers, and an obscene amount of screaming from Connie and Sasha, as you close your eyes and pull out the first paper. You open up the little slip, floored by how random the request is. 

“Write a song about upstaging someone's wedding. Connie.” you state. 

A resounding smack fills the room - as you look over to find Jean hitting Connie. 

“I told you not to put that in.” Jean yells.

“What? It’s funny! Eren said random stuff helps with this.” Connie defends. 

“Dumbass. You just had to write something about ruining a wedding?” Jean grates. 

“Who the fuck said it was about you, you egomaniac?” Sasha asks, reaching forward to flick his forehead. 

“Who else is getting married, dumbass?” Jean responds. 

“Why are you so mad? You’re clearly projecting your own personal issues.” Connie states, as Jean and Sasha follow him out of the room, their shouts filling up the quiet air. 

Eren turns to you, a bright smile on his face. You want to smack him.

“I’ll see you tonight. Fully written song and all.” Eren states, lightly shoving you as he walks past. 

You groan, leaning your head on Mikasa’s shoulder, as you hand her the little slip. 

“Eren’s so fucking annoying sometimes. How am I supposed to write a song about this?” you complain. 

“You’ll think of something. You’re amazing.” Mikasa states. 

“I um…actually got you something. And I had something I wanted to ask.” 

You took Sukuna’s words seriously. And had every intention to make amends. 

“Really?” she asks. 

“Yeah. It’s a keychain.”

You pull it out, the little penguin charm hanging off the end, as she takes it into her hands. It makes your heart swell - the way she carefully turns it over in her fingers, the excited smile on her face. 

“Thank you so much, Y/N.” 

“It’s kind of stupid but…it’s blue? Like something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue?” you state. 

Mikasa’s smile gets wider, her shoulders relaxing as she reaches forward to give you a hug. 

“Thank you. I love it.” 

“It’s just a penguin.” you murmur. 

“Maybe to someone else. But I haven’t forgotten that we watched Happy Feet at midnight the day we were supposed to film the Colossal Titan reveal and almost missed shooting that day.” she states. 

You can barely contain your elation this time. That Mikasa remembers the memory just as well as you do. You both laugh for a second before you muster the courage to ask. 

“Listen. I want to ask something but I don’t want to overstep so know that you can say no.” you state. 

“Okay.” 

“I know that we have our own rooms, but I wanted to ask if you wanted to share again? Colt and Porco always snore and…and you have your entire life to share a room with Jean but only a few more months to share one with me?” you mumble, voice nearly shaking. 

Mikasa brings her hands to your shoulders, squeezing hard as she can barely contain your smile. 

“Really? You really want to share with me?” she asks. 

“Are you crazy? You’re like the best roommate I’ve ever had.”

“Bullshit.” 

“No, really. Falco kicks, Colt smells, Porco snores, and Eren’s nothing compared to you. You're like a princess compared to them.” 

Mikasa smiles. 

“Deal. Lets go switch the signs - to their rightful places - right now.” 

“What if Jean disagrees?” you ask. 

Mikasa rolls her eyes. 

“He can choke for all I care.” Mikasa states, linking her arm in with yours as you both pound up the stairs right to the hallway. 

You take the marker, scribbling out Mikasa and Jean’s names (and Connie’s comments underneath) as you hand her the marker to do the honors. You both admire the little sign together, arms wrapped around each other, as Eren, Connie, and Jean join you two. 

“What the fuck?” Jean asks. 

You smile at him. 

“Sorry. Not your room anymore.” you respond. 

“One could argue that it was never really yours in the first place, Jean.” Mikasa states. 

“Dude, you guys are so annoying.” Jean states. 

“Did you just call your fiance, dude?” Eren asks, earning him a shove from Jean. 

Connie comes up at Mikasa’s side, taking the marker from her hands, and adding his signature comment to finish off the new sign. You look over at him and smile, tugging him into your hug with Mikasa - as you all admire the door. 

Y/N-MIKA FOREVER!!! 

And underneath, Connie’s lopsided handwriting: 

WE’RE SOOO FUCKING BACK

--

You understand why everyone was crowding you and Eren when they thought you were going to kiss in season two. It’s because you got to set early to make sure you got a good seat for Falco and Gabi’s love confession - so excited that you could barely eat your lunch.

You can’t help but watch them a few feet away from you, nervously kicking their legs on their chairs, as your notebook lays forgotten in front of you.

There’s a group of shitty lyrics on the page, so embarrassing that you shut the page as Eren approaches and takes the seat next to you and Mikasa. 

“I wasn’t going to read them, silly goose.” Eren states, lightly shoving you as you tuck the book under your ankles. 

“Good. I’d kill you before you tried.” 

“Wow. Standing up weddings has you that mad?” 

“The opposite actually.” you state. 

Eren rolls his eyes as he scooches closer to you, halfheartedly shaking Levi’s hand as he passes. You look over to Falco and Gabi again - the two of them increasingly nervous, Gabi more so for some reason, as you lean over and whisper into Eren's ear.  

“Ten bucks this pushes their real love confession ten years into the future.” you state.  

“What?” 

“Think about it. We had to kiss and it pushed things back basically a year and a half because we got all flustered and confused. Falco’s doing a whole bit, they’re going to be nervous about this for years.” you state. 

Eren rolls his eyes, reaching forward to elbow you in the side. 

“Bullshit.” 

“I’m right! The same thing happened with Hange and Levi.” you defends. 

“Rookie mistake, Y/N. Do I know your little brother better than you? He’s not half as pussy as you or Levi.” 

“Touché, asshole. If he likes her so bad, why hasn’t he said it yet?” you respond. 

“He’s a romantic. He’s waiting for the right time.” Eren responds. 

You look over at the two of them, splitting a box of Tic-Tacs, as Levi walks back to his cues and sets up the cameras. 

“Think about it. In a relationship, you’re either a Hange or a Levi. You’re either a Jean or a Mikasa. Falco’s obviously more like Mikasa and Levi. And Gabi’s like Jean and Hange. She has to make the move.” 

“You’ve got it all wrong. Gabi’s the Levi and Falco’s the Hange.” Eren responds, nearly offended at your statement. 

“Are you an idiot?” 

“Watch. I’ll prove it to you.” 

Eren pushes up off the floor, dragging Niccolo along with him, as they two of them approach Gabi and Falco. You’re not sure what they’re whispering - but you can tell that Falco and Gabi are flustered by the premise - and Eren and Niccolo are far too elated as Eren walks back over to you, this time with Niccolo in tow. 

“Hi Nico.” 

“Hi Y/N.” 

You look over at Eren, glaring at him, as he gives you a sheepish shrug. 

“Okay, guys. We’re going to start rolling. Falco, Gabi, you ready?” 

“Yeah.” they respond in unison, giving each other a little fist bump as they take their seats on the floor. 

“Was no one going to ask me? I’m in this scene too.” Colt complains, earning a fit of laughter from the crew. 

Everyone quiets down as the lights dim on the set, the group of you hunching forward, trying to contain your smiles as you look at each other. It’s only then that you’re reminded of how good Falco and Gabi are at acting, the painstaking agony in their voice almost making you shiver. 

“I helped make the attack on Liberio happen. I met a wounded soldier at that hospital, and without knowing it was Eren Jaeger, I sent letters from him to his allies using the mailboxes outside the zone.” Falco starts. 

Mikasa leans over to look at Eren, mouthing the words “fucking bastard” as you try to contain your laughs. Levi gives the four of you a warning glance, as you muster out an apologetic smile. 

“A lot of people died in Liberio. So….it’s my fault that Udo and Zofia died.” Falco finishes. 

“I see…” Gabi responds. 

Falco swallows hard, a pink blush on his cheeks, as you all excitedly smile. 

“Also, I love you. I didn’t want you to inherit the Armored Titan. That’s why I became a warrior candidate. So…so that we could get married…and be happy forever.” 

Gabi’s as red as a tomato. You almost feel bad for teasing the two of them so hard but it’s so endearing it makes your heart squeeze. 

“I wanted you to live a long life!” Falco shouts. 

“What are you saying?” Gabi responds. 

“I might turn into a Titan at any moment. I just wanted to get it all out there before I’m gone for good.” 

It's silent - leave for Gabi's tears before she quickly stands up. You watch as Gabi aggressively wrestles with Falco, pulling off the little black band secured around his waist, before she throws it on the ground, her chest heaving.

You sincerely hope Levi campaigns for them to win an award for this one. 

Levi calls cut, as Hange runs up to the two of them, excitedly cheering them both on as they avert their gaze from each other. Eren’s quick to jump up, grabbing you by the wrist as he pulls you up to the group of them, a devious smirk on his face. 

Niccolo’s quick to join his side, the two of them crossing their arms over their chest and smirking at Falco, as he sighs. 

“Really, guys?” Falco asks.

“Really. You agreed to it, little dude.” Eren states. 

Falco rolls his eyes, nervously eyeing Gabi - who is excitedly jumping up and down in front of a very unamused Levi - before he walks over to her and plants a big kiss on her cheek. The group of you all gasp, Gabi’s skin burning red, as Falco runs away, claiming he needs to go to the bathroom. 

Niccolo and Eren are fist bumping at your side and Eren’s turns to you, irritatingly positioned with his hands on his hips, as he smiles at you. 

“Told you so.” Eren states.

“What the hell did that prove?” 

“It’s simple. I asked Falco if he wanted to play a game of Truth or Dare. Then, I asked him to kiss his favorite person on the cast on the cheek after the scene was over. Told him to run right up to you and do it since I knew for a fact you’re his favorite.” 

“Eren, you little-” 

“Falco is most definitely the Hange or the Jean of the relationship. Would even go as far to argue that he might even be the boldest.” Eren states. 

You groan, the two of you walking past Gabi and Falco near the snack table, a sizable distance away from each other and nearly sweating in the presence of each other. You and Eren shoot them a thumbs up, and Eren continues to gloat all the way back to the house. 

--

At the end of the workday, Eren’s gathered everyone in the main room in a big crowd, doing nothing to help your nerves, as you give them all a smile and loop the guitar strap over your shoulder and sit on the bench. 

“Okay. Repeat the request, Y/N.” Eren guides, the group of them all giving you warm smiles. 

Mikasa and Sasha blow you a kiss, Porco and Connie with overenthusiastic thumbs up, and Eren’s smile pushing you on. 

“Right. The request was ‘write a song about standing up a wedding’ and it was from Connie.” you state. 

You swallow hard as you shut the book and place it under the bench and start strumming on the guitar to warm up. 

“Be nice to me guys. I called this one Speak Now.” 

I am not the kind of girl Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion But you are not the kind of boy Who should be marrying the wrong girl

There’s a resounding sound of cheers, Connie and Mikasa clapping along with the sound as everyone else follows suit. You can feel your head pounding, your voice slightly shaking as you continue on and the guitar strings uncomfortably burning your fingers. 

I sneak in and see your friends And her snotty little family all dressed in pastel And she is yelling at a bridesmaid Somewhere back inside a room Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry 

Mikasa scoffs. 

“Are you trying to tell me something?” 

Everyone laughs, including you, as you shake your head and blow her a kiss before continuing. She makes the little gesture at you - like she’s catching the kiss in the air and tucking it into her pocket. You can feel Jean rolling his eyes at your side. 

Don't say yes, run away now I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door Don't wait, or say a single vow You need to hear me out And they said, "Speak now"

The rest of the song goes relatively smoothly, the excitement from the group of them making your heart soar, that block in your throat dissolve.

Sasha’s trapped Niccolo in her arms and has been aggressively swinging him around for the past minute, Porco and Gabi locking their fingers together to do a little swing dance, and Hange, Armin, and Eren bobbing their heads in unison at the side. 

The group of them all give you a deafening sound of applause when you finish, aggressive hugs and kisses being placed on your cheeks as they all applaud you - claiming your brilliance - as you feel your cheeks burn with excitement. 

Eren’s the last one to approach you, an almost too satisfied with himself smile on his face for the second time today, as you give him your most peachy smile. 

“Like it?” you ask.

“Loved it. You’ve still got it.” Eren states. 

“You know it.” 

“Can I give you one note?” Eren asks.

“Please.” 

“The last verse. You have to change it.” 

“What? Why?” you ask. 

“It’s a good repeat. But I’m more curious…did the guy from the song leave the altar for her?” 

You nod, giving him a smile, as you reach for the book, and gesture for him to sit next to you on the bench. You quickly jumble the lyrics onto the page, nearly misspelling half of the words, before you hand it to him for inspection. 

And you'll say, "Let's run away now" I'll meet you when I'm out of my tux at the back door Baby, I didn't say my vows So glad you were around When they said, "Speak now"

"Always a sucker for a happy ending. It's perfect." Eren states.

He gives you a glimmering smile, making your heart skip a beat as his hand brushes against yours. Eren pulls out the little slip from earlier today, taping it right above the lyrics.

He gives you a last pinch of the cheek before pushing off the bench, leaving your entire body burning at his praise. 

“That’s my girl. I didn’t doubt you for even a second.”

You pause.

"Eren?"

He turns back, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah?"

"Ask me who my favorite person on set is."

"What?"

"Ask me."

"Why would I-"

"Can you just do it?"

Eren turns back, hands at his side.

"Who's your favorite person on set?" Eren asks.

You walk up to his side, standing on your tip toes to press a kiss into the softness of his cheek. You hope that he understands - that you're overwhelmingly thankful for him. For the documentary, the days in Seattle, and the lifeline he always throws you. That you'll always be indebted to him.

"It's you." you whisper.

Eren's cheeks are pink.

"Is that right?" Eren asks, the tone in his voice teasing.

"Don't push your luck." you state.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Eren responds, as he gives you one last cheek pinch before leaving you alone with the piano.

Singing the song, strumming the guitar - it's almost like stretching an old muscle, flexing out the soreness. You're so excited that you reach for the cup on top of the piano to start writing the next one right away. But when your read the slip, you feel your mouth go dry.

you love someone with your entire being, and all they do is tolerate it

And at the bottom, a name scribbled in messy handwriting

Jean.

--

--

next part linked here

an: OK GUYS. WE'RE IN THE ENDGAME NOW!!! sorry its kind of boring but we die like men

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06  @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejgg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-morii @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @dreamy-carat @spiidergirlsworld @luvs4kim @levin4nami @florichun @hoonmyluv @cowgirlikets @dreamxiing @mamamammarga @tangerine-neonlight

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3

[nobigneil]

Neil discussing the many pieces and methods used to create the constellation of Astarion, including his friend and make up artist Leendert van Nimwegen, the stray cat that took years to tame, and the Harlequin character from 16th century Italian theatre.

[iztea]

method acting

[a-thread-of-green]

Best Ways to Explain Your Transition

I accidentally walked in on the goddess Artemis bathing. It was this or get turned into a deer and devoured by my own hounds.

You know castration anxiety and penis envy? I've got, like, the opposite of both of those.

I seriously misinterpreted Valorie Solanas.

I took the red pill without researching what the Wachowskis actually meant by that.

I fell in love with a lesbian.

I asked a genie for the love of a woman (at least now I've got better self-esteem).

I got kicked out of Boy Scouts.

Method acting.

Draft dodging.

There are so many better cosplay options this way.

Soy addict.

What? No, I've always been like this. Are you feeling okay? Hold on, I'll call a doctor.

[procrastiel]

26:36 mins: “I can only act what I am. Oscar Wilde said: ‘Give a man a mask and he’ll show you his true face.’ And I’ve always thought that’s very true, that, you know, by playing characters, so to speak, I, really, I reveal myself. I can put so much more of myself into something if it’s ‘a character’ than when it’s me, you know.”

[prokopetz]

While I respect Mads Mikkelsen’s opinion that method acting is shit, listening to anyone who knows him talk about him makes it extremely clear that he has absolutely no problem with doing a bit 24/7 – he just doesn’t believe in doing it for money.

[purpleshadow-star]

Andrew did not know Neil was going to join him in the room. Does Andrew make a habit of just sitting buried in a beanbag chair and like, dissociating or something?

[blueeyeddarkknight]

Val as Orestes in Orestes & Electra 1981 🤤🥵😵

Bonus : Another Batman (Kevin Conroy) playing Orestes in Juilliard 🤯

Source : THE Juilliard (in Val's voice)

[seeingivy]

lovesick

actor!eren x reader

**part of my method acting series

an: come get yall juice

songs mentioned: lovesick by laufey!

previous part linked here

--

Ten minutes later and you’re all standing outside the house, as the blaring fire truck pulls up to the curb. And you give everyone an awkward sheepish smile, as you all shiver in the cold November night, as the firefighters march into the house. 

It seems that in your efforts to be…..symbolic, you accidentally set the fire alarm off. 

Which has the group of you outside, freezing in the November cold, as you wait for them to exit the house and safely turn the alarm off. 

“Right. So what exactly were you doing, Y/N?” Levi seethes, irritatedly rubbing his biceps in the cold of the night. He’s heroically given up his jacket for Hange, whose currently teasing Sasha and Niccolo about something. 

“Why do you think its me?” you respond. 

“It came from that room. And I know damn well Colt and Porco aren’t stupid enough to do something like that.” Levi responds. 

“Hey. Porco is plenty stupid.” 

“I heard that.” Porco grumbles. 

You shoot him a smile, as he walks over with Colt and the two of them reach forward to shove you. You shove back, the three of you laughing into the night as Levi grumbles some more about firefighters and the bills and walks away. 

“Colt. I’m cold.” you murmur. 

“Okay. Why don’t you go ahead and start another fire to generate some warmth?” Colt responds, glaring. 

“Or you could just be a good big brother and give me your jacket?” you respond, giving him a big smile. 

“Absolutely not, twerp. You literally set my room, that you are not welcome in, on fire.” Colt states. 

“Where else am I supposed to sleep? Do you want me to cuddle up with Eren?” 

Colt glares, before shoving you and responding. 

“Share with Mikasa. Stop being a little baby bitch about the maid of honor thing.” 

“I’m not being a baby bitch!” you respond. 

“You kind of are, love.” Porco responds. 

“You keep your stupid British butt out of this, innit love. I just don’t want to make her uncomfortable. She wants to room with her fiance and I’m going to let her.” you respond, mimicking Porco’s British accent. 

“Oh yeah. That’s why the two of you keep giving each other wistful, longing looks whenever you’re around each other. You’d think it was the two of you getting married.” Colt spits back, his breath materializing in the cold air. 

Colt aggressively rattles your head one last time before moving to where Gabi and Falco were standing as Porco makes a gesture to take his jacket off. Which has you yanking him by the ear and fervently whispering in his ear. 

“Are you fucking stupid?” you whisper. 

“Eh?” Porco responds. 

“If you are trying to romance Pieck, why are you giving me your jacket?” 

“You were just bitching about how you were cold.” Porco deadpans. 

“Well, go find out if she’s bitching about being cold. And give her your jacket. Must I do everything for you?” you respond, pinching his ear harder. 

Porco, you are quick to find out, has the same romantic capabilities as a valencia orange. Which means that in all the time you’ve spent freeloading in their room, Porco has enlisted your help in romancing Pieck, who has caught his eye. 

Porco rolls his eyes as he walks over, and you shoot him a satisfied smile when Pieck wraps his jacket around her cold arms, particularly pink in the cheeks as the two of them talk in the cold. 

Eren, Connie, Jean, and Mikasa, however, are not aware of this. Which has the four of them, particularly Eren, groaning from ten feet away at the sight of the two of you together, giving each other warm smiles in the cold. 

“Imagine losing the love of your life to a British guy. Twice.” Connie states. 

“Shut up.” Eren grumbles, shoving him in the side. 

“First he colonizes your country and then your girlfriend?” Jean asks. 

“She’s not my girlfriend, need I remind you.” Eren responds, glaring. 

“Just when we thought Y/N was done with London Boys…” Connie adds, earning an angry shove from both Eren and Mikasa. 

“The British are coming, Eren! The British are coming!” Jean screams, saluting Miksasa and Eren. 

“He’s not from London, dumbass.” Mikasa responds. 

“Her kid’s first word is going to be bruv…” Connie adds, putting on the thickest accent he can muster. 

“They’re not having kids!” Eren groans. 

“You guys are so mean! Leave Eren alone, you know how much it must hurt him to see something like that. Especially when he’s been so lonely and-” 

“Wow. Thank you, Mikasa. Your defense of me is so moving.” Eren states. 

Eren rolls his eyes, as the group of them snicker at his response, and they all immediately wrap their arms around him. A common habit the three of them have, knowing damn well that Eren’s mind is the worst place to be at times, and that sometimes their presence and stupid jokes is enough to put a damper on that internal monologue that plagues Eren constantly. 

“Go fight for your girl, Eren. She doesn’t even know what you did for her.” Mikasa states. 

“Correction. What I tried to do for her. And you go fight for your best friend. Who should be your maid of honor instead of that rodeo clown, Amy, by the way.” 

“Hey.” Mikasa states, glaring at him. 

“I swear to god, my feet have bruises from when we practiced walking down the aisle. I’m going to be in a wheelchair by the time we make it to the wedding, Mika.” 

“You’re just saying that because you want Y/N to be walking down with you instead of Amy.” Mikasa counters.

“Well, yes. Obviously. But even besides that, do you really want Amy to be at your side during your wedding, Mikasa? Y/N is your best friend. Mind you, this wedding wouldn’t even be happening without me and her. We’re the only reason you guys got to have all those sleepovers back in the day.” 

“You’re full of shit, Eren. You’re acting like you didn’t benefit from those sleepovers either.” Jean counters. 

“No one had a sleepover with me. Which is just fucking rude in my opinion.” Connie adds, rather unhelpfully. 

Eren frowns, as he looks over at you. Your head is angled up, staring at the stars littered across the sky and the tiniest crescent moon shining down on all of you. Eren swallows hard, trying his best to aid you in your efforts to make amends. 

“I’m just saying, Mikasa. This is your wedding. You only get married once ….do you really not want her to be a part of it?” Eren asks. 

Eren watches Mikasa, at the wistful look on her face, as she watches you stand there alone, crunching the rocks under your feet as you hop in the cold of the night. Eren gives Mikasa one last pointed glare before walking over and standing at your side. 

“Hi Margaret.” 

“Hi Bruce.” you respond. 

“Did you pick up arson as a hobby in your free time?” he asks. 

“Of course! Arson is good for the environment. I’m very passionate about climate change.” you respond, earning a laugh from him. 

“How so?” 

“Fires stimulate new growth. Recycles nutrients in the ground, clears the forest floors of debris, and opens it up to sunlight.” you murmur. 

“Oh, yeah. Porco’s carpet is really flourishing right now.” Eren responds. 

“Exactly! You get me.” you respond, as the two of you laugh into the night. 

Eren’s quick to take his own jacket off, wrapping it around your shoulders, as you give him a glare. 

“Just when I think you’ve reached the peaks of your cornniness, you always seem to astound me, Eren Jaeger.” 

“What can I say? I’m an overachiever, princess.” Eren responds, pinching the softness of your cheek. 

The two of you laugh as you both smile at each other, in the chill of the night. He’s about to speak, but on cue, the firefighters walk out of the house and you both get distracted, running to huddle back into the house. Levi murmurs something about hot chocolate, which has the group of you jumping in excitement, as you all settle into the kitchen and the dining table. 

And as always, Falco is scribbling some mess in his notebook, something you’ve found him doing almost everyday this week. You slide into the seat across from him and Niccolo, giving Gabi a polite smile at your side, as you look up at him. 

“Hi Coco.” 

“Hi Y/N.” 

“What are you up to?” you ask. 

Like a deer caught in headlights, Falco immediately slams the book shut and gives Gabi and Niccolo painstaking glares before awkwardly laughing.

“Nothing! Drawing!” Falco rambles. 

“Are you doing nothing or are you drawing?” you ask. 

“Nothing. I’m doing nothing.” he responds. 

You give Gabi and Niccolo a pointed glare. 

“You would tell me if he was writing my name a hundred times in the Death Note, right?” 

Gabi and Niccolo laugh, as Gabi and Falco immediately run off for their hot chocolate and you move to Niccolo’s side. The group of them join you with their steaming cups of hot chocolate and you shoot Connie a grateful smile when he sets one down in front of you. 

“He really isn’t plotting my death, is he?” you ask Niccolo. 

“No. No. Don’t be silly, Y/N.” he responds. 

You sigh, wrapping your fingers around the warm mug. 

“I know. I just haven’t…fought with him like this before. It’s weird to have an awkward air to us.” you respond. 

“You haven’t fought with Falco, ever. You guys both fight with me.” Colt corrects. 

“Well, you’re annoying, Colt.” you respond. 

You turn back to Niccolo, gesturing for him to give you an explanation. 

“Falco’s trying to impress you, Y/N.” Niccolo states. 

“Huh?” 

“He’s writing a song. Trying to prove to you that he should be here.” he states. 

You deflate. You never meant to make Falco feel like you thought he was untalented. That he didn’t deserve to be here. 

“Is the song good? Please tell me he’s a songbird and less of a…falcon.” Connie responds. 

“You’re not as funny as you think you are, Connie.” Mikasa deadpans, rolling her eyes. 

“Oh, it’s great. I can tell he has a lot of promise, this is the type of stuff we get in demos at the label.” Niccolo responds. 

“Label?” you ask. 

“I worked with a label for a while back as a producer. I kind of decided it wasn’t my thing a while ago and went into acting.” Niccolo states. 

“Would you happen to know anything about like…making deals regarding albums and stuff?” you ask. 

“Yeah. Why do you ask?” 

The smallest spark of hope flares in you. 

“I have a dilemma. I was wondering if you could shed some light on it for me?” you ask. 

“Sure. What’s up?” Niccolo asks. 

Eren and Connie give each other a look. 

“When I signed on with Danny and Sareen, I promised the label four albums. The thing is, I…kind of fired them before I got to the fourth one and then released that one independently.” 

“You fired them?” Gabi asks, eyes wide. 

“Yeah. They…they weren’t great. Anyways, they’re kind of claiming that they have ownership under the fourth album and that it’s in violation of my contract with them to have released something before the contract was up. So all of the royalties for streaming the songs goes to them but since I’m not technically an employee of the label anymore they…..they don’t pay me a cent of the money.” 

The group of them go silent, eyes wide as they stare back at you. You note that Levi and Hange’s ears perk up from where they’re standing too, five feet away in the kitchen with the mugs. 

“Which album is this, Y/N?” Annie asks. 

“The Lucky One.” 

“What?” Annie states. 

The group of them break out into their own chatter, Connie and Eren being noticeably silent in the mix. Annie and Armin are going on about how ridiculous it is, Porco making it a point to note that it’s your most streamed albums, that the money must be somewhere in the millions as you give them all a polite smile. 

“Is there anything I can do, Nico?” you ask. 

Niccolo sighs. 

“I don’t know many people who have been successful with this type of thing. But I’ll see what I can find out for you, okay? We’ll think of something.” Niccolo responds, his mouth upturned as he frowns at you. 

“Okay. Thanks Nico, I-I was just wondering. I’m not holding my breath about it or anything.” you respond. 

The group of them shuffle back into their own individual conversations, as Mikasa takes the empty seat at your side.

“Hey.” 

“I’m sorry you don’t get any of the money for the Lucky One, Y/N. It’s a really great album.” 

“Thank you, Mikasa. Really.” you respond, squeezing her hands in yours. 

You both lift your mugs, the silence enveloping the two of you as you try to think of the words. 

To make amends. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to your engagement party.” you respond. 

“Oh- that’s-” 

“Can I…can I explain?” you ask. 

Mikasa nods. 

“I found out that I didn’t own the album anymore the day before the party. And I had every intention of coming actually, I had packed the bags and bought a dress and booked a plane ticket but…” 

You sigh. 

“My music is the one thing that I owned. If there was any merit to me, if people called me fake and a slut and everything in between, there was….little they could say about the music. It was mine. I wrote it, I put my heart and soul into it just to…” you ramble. 

“I can imagine, Y/N.” Mikasa responds, softly. 

“It’s….it took so much out of me to make all four of those albums. And it’s not that I’m not proud of them but they were the reason it was so hard. To think that they still make money off of me, after everything they did is…” 

“A good reason not to come to an engagement party.” Mikasa finishes.

“I should have been there still. Or at least told you. About everything that happened and I’m really sorry about that but-” 

Mikasa sets her mug down at the table and immediately wraps her arms around you, her hands soft in your hairs as you deflate into your shoulder. When you look up, Connie, Jean, and Eren are smiling at the two of you and you make it a point to glare at them. Connie mouths something that looks an awful lot like “maid of honor” which has you rolling your eyes.  

When you all shuffle back into your rooms, Mikasa gives you a tight hug before you go to bed. And you relish in what you can get. 

--

“Your head is going to explode if you think any harder.” Levi states, crossing his legs as he sits beside you on the floor. 

You sigh, hiking your knees to your chest. You watch Falco and Kaya run around the set, playing with the extra ODM gear lying around the set. He’s laughing hard, excitedly panting as he runs along the perimeter of the room. 

“Talk.” Levi states. 

“Am I a cavewoman, Levi?” you mutter. 

“Evidently.” Levi responds. 

You sigh. 

“I’m just wondering how we’re going to protect Falco, Gabi, and Kaya from all this stuff.” you murmur. 

Levi meets your line of vision, watching the three of them now running around. And you and Levi rise to have the same conversation you had months ago, though relatively calmer this time around. 

“I understand why you want to, but you have to let go of that, Y/N.” Levi responds. 

“Why? He’s my brother, Levi. And Gabi and Kaya are so sweet, they’re so…full of life. I’d hate to see that ripped from them just because people are horrible.” you murmur. 

“Did you listen when I warned you, Y/N? Did Eren?” he asks. 

You rest your chin against the tops of your knees, as you hug your knees closer to your chest. 

“Levi…” 

“There are some lessons you have to learn on your own. You can’t learn their lessons for them. All you can do is be there to catch them if they fall.” Levi responds. 

You lean your head against the back wall. 

“It’s a touch pill to swallow and I get that. Trust me, I’ve been ten different levels of frustrated with myself when I wasn’t able to stop certain things from happening. But-” 

“None of those things were your fault, Levi.” you respond. 

“If something does happen to Falco and Gabi, it won’t be your fault either.” 

You sigh. 

“Everyone goes through things like this. These aren’t just…isolated to us because we’re famous. Granted, they are on public display for people to see, but everyone goes through this kind of thing. These are just the…obstacles that we’ve been given.” Levi responds. 

“Okay, Levi. I’ll try to get there.” you respond. 

Levi looks over at you, eyebrows raised. 

“You feeling okay? You’re listening to me without any pushback?” he states, lightly shoving you. 

“Shut up. I’m turning over a new leaf. Trying to do this thing called making amends.” you respond. 

Levi smiles in response, a hand coming down on your hair. 

“Consider us amended. So what’s your deal with Mikasa then?” he states. 

You groan. 

“She’s your cousin, Levi. You tell me what her deal is with me.” you respond. 

“I believe she picked our resident pain in the ass, Amy, as her maid of honor because she literally had to pick one. The wedding isn’t too far out and she needs the help since Jean can’t help when it comes to type of this thing.” Levi resopnds. 

You hum in response. 

“Not that Amy is any help either. Not that I hate my own family but…Amy’s always been a bit of a…tough nut to swallow. She’s made a couple of weird comments to Hange, so obviously I hate her. Just doesn’t understand the whole fame thing, that’s all.” 

You snort. 

“It’s weirdly nice to have her around. I- she asks me all these overbearing questions. Kind of prepares me for when I’ll start having to do press again.” you murmur. 

“I won’t send you on the press tour unless you’re ready for it. And you know there will be multiple with the season being split into three, so…don’t rush into it all.” Levi responds. 

You nod, giving him a polite smile. 

“Thank you, Levi. For always being there to catch me.” you respond. 

“Don’t thank me for basic human decency, brat.” Levi spits, standing up to join Hange on the other side of the room. 

You smile as you walk up to Connie, who is aggressively scribbling on the whiteboard. There’s two columns and his chicken scratch handwriting on the space. 

Father versus Daddy. 

“Is anyone going to explain?” you ask, settling into the seat between Mikasa and Sasha. 

“They’re ranking everyone’s new Season Four looks. But Connie’s insisting that you cannot compare fathers and daddies. And Jean is forcing us all to do it anyways.” Sasha explains. 

You hum in response, as you tune into Connie’s incessant rambling. 

“No, listen. Why would you compare Reiner and Eren? That’s not even the same playing field!” Connie shouts. 

“Well, if you’re making an objective list, you have to compare them.” Jean states. 

“Whose the daddy and the father between Reiner and Eren?” you ask. 

“Princess, don’t ask stupid questions.” Connie states, rolling his eyes. 

“What? It’s a valid question.” you deflect. 

“Eren is obviously the daddy. And Reiner is father. Look at that beard.” Connie states, grabbing Reiner by the cheeks and squishing his skin. 

You smile. 

“Facial hair really suits you, Reiner. Unlike some people.” 

There’s a good amount of laughter, as you look over at Eren who rolls his eyes at you. 

“Okay, everyone pick. Are we picking Eren or Reiner for the first spot?” Connie asks. 

“I still think it’s rude that I was eliminated at the last round. It’s very hard to pull off a mullet.” Jean states. 

“Stop quoting your fiance! You lost out fair and square.” Niccolo shouts. 

After Connie counts the votes, Reiner beats out Eren by one vote, to which Reiner’s satisfiedly smiles. Levi calls for Eren to start filming, as you turn on your seats to watch him film. 

The ends of Eren’s voice are lost to you as he takes his shirt off and the group of you go silent. 

Eren’s raking his fingers through his own hair as he secures it at the back of his neck, just for Connie to start hollering at him and Jean starts wolf whistling. There’s a pink flush climbing up Eren’s neck as he flips the two of them off, before turning back to Levi. 

“Can I change my vote?” Pieck asks, earning a fit of laughter from the group. 

And you’d love to relish in the discourse, because Eren’s clearly been working out, but you’re entirely distracted by the three, jagged pink scars running along the length of Eren’s back. The makeup team is quick to walk onto the set, quickly masking the scarred tissue as Eren shoots them a polite smile. 

“Eren was my celebrity crush when I was little.” Gabi states. 

“Me too!” Kaya responds, the two of them giggling into their hands. 

Falco is seething behind you at their admissions as Connie joins you at your side, picking up on your blank stare as you watch Eren lean forward on the sink. 

“Real cutie, isn’t he?” Connie asks, elbowing you in your side. 

You roll your eyes. 

“You can’t even say no. You voted for him.” Connie responds. 

“Yes. I’m aware, Connie.” 

Levi shoots you and Connie a glare, as you both apologize and quiet your voices. 

“The marks on Eren’s back, Connie.” you murmur, softly. 

Connie nods, almost too understanding of what’s plaguing you. 

“That’s Eren’s story to tell you. But it happened on set, a while back.” 

You look back at Eren, as him and Hange act out the scene. At the raised skin on his back, in between the tautness of his muscle. You absentmindedly think that if you were to run your hands on his bare back, it would no longer be a smooth surface like the last time you held him. There would be raised skin in the mix, that soft, pink tissue. 

“We should just count ourselves lucky that Hange and Levi never endangered our lives when they had us doing stunts.” Connie states. 

You nod, the thought sombering your mood all together when you realize what he means. 

That Eren was hurt by people being careless with his safety. 

“Ask him about it. He’ll tell you.” 

“He doesn’t tell me anything. We just kind of awkwardly pretend nothing happened.”

“Do you ask?” Connie states. 

“What am I supposed to say? Hey, remember when you said our entire relationship was fake on a really popular podcast? What did you mean by that?” 

Connie sighs. 

“Start small. There’s a lot for you both to unpack. It takes a second.” Connie murmurs. 

“There’s a lot for you to unpack too, Connie. Like the fact that you and Eren are best friends? Because the last time I saw you, you quite literally had just fist fought him a few days prior and said he was the reason you were even addicted in the first place.” you respond. 

Connie sighs. 

“I was wrong. When you came, mind you, I was already so far gone. And anything I was saying, you…you shouldn’t give merit to it. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Eren. He was the one who took me to rehab. And made sure that I stayed there. All while he was trying to help Lana and-”

Connie stops abruptly. 

“Just pressure him. He’s been preparing what he’s going to say to you for so long. And he’s just scared to let it all out after so long.” 

You frown, the irritation festering in you, as Eren walks up, a smile plastered on his face. Connie holds his shirt out for him before walking away, as Eren takes the seat next to you. 

“Hi Margaret.” 

“Hi Bruce.” you grumble, glaring at him. 

The two of you sit in silence as you ponder how to approach it, keeping your eyes fixed on the crew changing the set for the next scenes. 

“What happened to your back, Eren?” 

You notice Eren immediately tense up next to you, his hands tightly clasped together, as he swallows hard. 

“Y/N.” 

“I want to know what happened to your back. What you meant when you talked to me backstage at the awards show. Why you took me to that beach.” 

It’s almost like you’ve broken some wall between you, that tiny porcelain barrier that you and Eren never touch. Because Eren’s eyes go wide, his demeanour entirely different, like a downtrodden animal. And he looks just like he did at the awards show, a person who seems miles away. 

“I want to know why the fuck you went on that podcast and acted like you didn’t care about me. I want to know if you fucking care about me, Eren.” 

“Of course I care about you!” he murmurs. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Eren. You insinuating you only wanted me for my body gave me a pause for a second there.” you spit. 

Eren shuts his eyes, in frustration or pain you can’t quite tell, as he unclasps his hands. 

“Why did you let me break up with you because Sareen and Danny asked me to?” you ask. 

“Why did you break up with me because Danny and Sareen told you to, Y/N?” Eren counters. 

Your throat burns. 

“Well, I-” 

“Why did you come to see me for my birthday, Y/N? Could you not tell that I didn’t want you there?” Eren asks. 

The embarrassment courses through you. 

“I came to tell you that I still loved you, Eren. I came there because I wanted to be with you.” you counter. 

“And I stopped talking to you, I pulled away because I couldn’t have you be there with me. That is the last place I could have you be, Y/N.” Eren responds, frustrated. 

“I get it. You don’t want to be with me. You don’t need to keep fucking rem-” 

“Do you have selective hearing? Where did I say that I didn’t want you? I said I couldn’t have you be there with me. Those are two different things.” he seethes. 

You glare at him. 

“You sound like a dumbass, Eren. Your actions were literally-” 

“What part of that trip made it seem like I didn’t fucking want you? If you critically think, for two seconds Y/N, you would realize that the fact that I fucking loved you so much I couldn’t even stay away when you showed up. But I couldn’t have you there. Because if it came down to it, when I had to pick between covering someone else or taking care of you, I’d pick you. And I…I couldn’t. There was too much at stake and-” Eren rambles. 

“You aren’t even making sense, Eren. What could possibly be at stake?” you shout. 

Eren sighs. 

“Everything, Y/N.” Eren responds, softly. 

He reaches down, taking one of his hands in yours, as he presses hard on your knuckles. There’s nothing behind his eyes, or rather something simmering deep down, as he avoids your gaze. And the entire…demeanour is enough to push back the wave of anger and let that small soft spot that you have for Eren rise up. 

That always coaxed him into talking. 

“Y/N.” 

“What?” 

“I’m asking you that when the time comes, you’ll hear me out. I-I have answers for you. All of them, almost every single one I just need you to wait. For me. Please.” Eren begs. 

You know the look in his eyes too well. The desperation. The same desperation that Eren had when he asked you if you still belonged to him, on that beach. 

And for a second time, you give in. 

“Don’t make me wait forever, Bruce.” 

The wall is back up. 

“I won’t, Margaret.” Eren responds. 

He drops your hands, before walking away with his hands shaking, as you swallow that acidic bile in your throat. And try to rack your mind for the hundredth time, trying to figure out what Eren means. 

--

There’s something about Sasha and Niccolo that makes your heart yearn.

You place your hands flat on Sasha’s shoulders, wrapping your coat around her arms, as she smiles at you in the mirror. You’ve braided the front of her hair, Mikasa’s twisted little flowers into the ends, and Gabi’s brushed all your sparkly makeup over her face to the best of her desires. 

Because Sasha and Niccolo are going on their first date. 

And there’s something about both of their demeanours, the way they act around each other, that leaves a pit in your chest. And comes with a mix of emotions - going every which way. 

First, an overwhelmingly abundant feeling of happiness for Sasha. Because if her words were any inkling to you, it seems like this agonizing want, to be held, to be loved, is something that has plagued Sasha for years. And being here - being around Jean and Mikasa, Levi and Hange, even you and Eren - you’re almost positive that Sasha’s been walking around with this pit, with this yearning in her chest her entire life. 

It almost makes it sweeter that she’s getting it now. 

Second, there’s some part of it that leaves you with this warm, soft feeling in your stomach. Because the group of you - Sasha, Mikasa, Annie, Pieck, and even Gabi - you’d spent all day together. Picking out Sasha’s outfit, letting her pick out the jewelery, and tell you all the things that Niccolo had planned for her. 

That the two of them were going to go on a picnic, by a lake nearby. That Niccolo had spent all this time planning the date with all the guys - that Eren told him about the place, that Jean picked out the food to make with him, that Connie’s been giving one liners to Niccolo to use the entire night. 

And third, it makes you long for something you don’t quite have anymore. That at one point, there was someone that filled you with that type of joy. That you know the full extents of her happiness, because you were once in that spot, and even worse, know exactly what could be waiting for her if things go south. 

It leaves you with many things. Longing, yearning, fear, and protectiveness. Over Sasha. 

Downstairs, Eren is having the same feelings, as the group of them threaten Niccolo at the dining table. Jean, Connie, Armin, and Eren made it a point to make sure that Niccolo, sweet sweet Niccolo, was going to show Sasha the time of her life tonight. 

Connie’s having way too much fun with it. Meaning, that he’s got a flood light that he stole from set that he’s shining in Niccolo’s face. Like he’s in an interrogation. 

“What are your intentions with Sasha, Niccolo? If that’s even your real name.” Connie seethes. 

“Niccolo is my real name. And I just want to take her on a date. M-make her feel special.” 

“Likely story, bitch boy.” Jean screams, slamming his fist down on the table. 

Eren looks over, giving Armin a weary look, as Jean and Connie continue. 

“What food did you make, lover boy?” Connie asks. 

“Um, Sasha once mentioned that she wanted to try ratatouille? Like from the movie? So I made that and the sides are mashed potatoes since she likes-” 

“How do you know she’s going to like it? What are you going to do if she doesn’t?” Jean asks. 

“Take her somewhere else. Make sure that she eats something she likes?” Niccolo asks, a bead of sweat on his forehead. 

Armin leans over, whispering in Eren’s ear. 

“They’re having way too much fun doing this. I almost feel bad for the guy.” Armin states. 

“I know. Sasha’s going to wring their necks out when she finds out they did this.” Eren responds. 

“That, I want a front row show for. Sasha always has the funniest insults.” 

“God, I know. I’m so lucky she wasn’t there when we were all talking about Hobo Eren for the first time. I’m afraid my self esteem wouldn’t be able to survive that.” Eren mutters back. 

Armin laughs, with has Eren’s chest writhing in ten different ways, as Connie starts interrogating Niccolo about where he’s going to place his hands on Sasha tonight. 

“Okay, Con. That’s enough.” Eren states, giving Armin a knowing look as they both take a seat across from Niccolo. 

“Ah. Right, I hope you know that I-I have the best intentions with Sasha tonight. I really, really like her and I would never do anything to hurt her.” Niccolo states, hands up in defense as he looks at Armin and Eren. 

Eren fights the urge to smile. 

“You better.” Eren states, face blank as he looks at Niccolo. 

“H-huh?” Niccolo asks. 

“You heard him. You better.” Armin repeats, mimicking Eren’s expression. 

“Right. I-I just said that I did.” Niccolo responds. 

“Great. Then we won’t have a problem. Do you want a problem, Niccolo?” Armin states, folding his hands on the table. 

“N-no.” he responds. 

“Why did you stutter, Niccolo?” Eren asks, pinching his eyes at him. 

On cue, Eren and Armin are cut off from their version of Jean and Connie’s interrogation, which they’re sure is more horrifying than theirs, as all the girls run down the stairs and start giggling. Eren’s thrown off by the excited look on your face, at your hands linked with Mikasa. 

“Oh! Oh, Nico stand up! You look so cute.” you state, squeezing Mikasa’s hands as you look at him. 

His soft blonde curls are tamed against his forehead, the tiniest bouquet of little flowers bunched up in his hands. You can tell that he’s a little nervous - from the way he’s awkwardly smiling at the group of you and the little flush on his cheeks - which has your heart squelching even more. 

“Sasha’s a lucky girl.” Mikasa agrees, a wide smile on her face. 

“Speaking of Sasha, I think she’s ready.” Annie states. 

The group of you all stand to the side, arm linked with Sasha’s, as Sasha stumbles down the stairs. Niccolo and Sasha have matching pink flushes rushing up their necks as they awkwardly smile at each other, Sasha stumbling over her words when Niccolo hands her the flowers and Niccolo nearly losing it over Sasha calling him handsome. 

“You two. If I found out you bothered him, I’m going to wring your necks out.” Sasha states, pointing over to the boys with a menacing glare. 

“We didn’t do anything!” Jean whines. 

“I’m not talking to you, Jean. I’m talking to you two.” Sasha states, accusingly pointing at Eren and Armin. 

“We didn’t do anything. Right, Niccolo?” Eren asks, giving him his best peachy smile. 

“Of course not!” Niccolo states, linking his hands with Sasha as the two of them give you all waves goodbye and you all clump by the door to watch them settle into the car. 

Armin and Eren are directly behind you, giggling about something, as the two of them drive off. 

“You guys are so mean. You probably scared the guy to death.” you state. 

“It was nothing that wasn’t necessary, Y/N.” Eren responds, crossing his hands over his chest. 

“If anything, I would argue it was noble. Wouldn’t you agree, Eren?” Armin states, leaning his elbow on Eren’s shoulder, like he’s deep in thought. 

“I think I would, Armin.” Eren responds, the two of them giving admonishing look. 

“He’s a sweet guy!” you whine. 

“We know that. But this is Sasha. I can’t have him going around thinking he’s in her league or something.” Eren states. 

“Sasha is basically a national treasure. We’re have to remind him of his place here.” Armin states. 

You roll your eyes, pushing past the both of them, as you roll your eyes. You pad into the kitchen, rummaging around for snacks, as Eren follows behind you. And right when you’re about to pour yourself a bowl of cereal, Eren’s quick to snatch the box from your hands. 

“Sorry. We’re eating proper food for dinner tonight.” Eren states, giving you a peachy smile. 

“You’re so annoying.” you grumble, trying to reach for the box again. 

“Cereal is good. But you have to balance it out. With some protein or add some fruits in it or something.” Eren adds. 

“Or I can just eat it right now and you can quit it.” 

“Nope. We’re eating pasta.” Eren states, now rummaging through all the cabinets as he sets out to make the food. 

You push up on the counter, dangling your feet off the edge, as you get a weird sense of deja vu. 

Of your first date with Eren. 

“Can I cut the vegetables?” 

Eren looks over, just to give you a pointed glare. And you fight the urge to laugh, and ignore that stirring in your chest, that he remembers. Or more appropriately, still doesn’t trust you to cook in the kitchen with him. 

“Do you think you’re some kind of comedian, Margaret?”

“No. I’m a really good cook now. You can trust me.” 

Eren leans against the counter, a hand on his hip, as you roll your eyes. 

“Right. Need I remind you, you almost set the house on fire a few days ago. God knows what you’re going to do if I let you do this.” Eren sneers. 

“You’re so-” 

“For all we know, you’re going to start a grease fire! And then try to throw water at it to put it out.” 

“Do you not put fires out with water?” 

Eren laughs. 

“Oil and water don’t mix, princess. Were you born yesterday?” 

You fight the urge to laugh, at how sassy Eren is being, as you reach for the vegetables lying directly to his side. And when you pull out the cutting board and the knife from the drawer, Eren’s scoffing at you. 

“Yeah, right. Use the safety knife.” Eren states. 

“Am I five years old, Eren?” 

“Litearlly yes. Give me like two minutes, I’ll do it.” Eren responds. 

You roll your eyes, as you attend to cutting the little vegetables, dicing the onions and the bell peppers to the best of your ability. 

“Do you think Sasha’s having fun?” you ask. 

“It’s Niccolo. I’m sure he’s putting on a good time for her. And if he isn’t, Armin and I are going to wring his neck out when he comes back.” 

“You and Armin, huh?” 

Eren’s shoulders deflate, the smallest makings of a smile on his face. 

“It’s not anything like that, Y/N. We just don’t play about Sasha, that’s all.” Eren responds. 

“Or, you two are making amends. Baby steps.” 

Eren smiles. 

“Maybe. I hope so.” he responds. 

“I love how you guys are all protective of Sasha. It’s really sweet, actually.” you murmur. 

“Well, it’s Sash. She’s basically like our little sister.” Eren responds. 

“I know. But it just reminds me of when we were younger and stuff. Sasha, she never really had someone interested in her like that. I think some part of her really internalized that type of stuff, so I’m glad we’re all able to make her feel special now.” you respond. 

“How so?” 

“I don’t know. I can’t really speak to it personally, but from what Sasha said, some part of her took it really seriously. That it was something about her, that it was her personality or her looks and that’s why people didn’t like her like that.” 

Eren frowns. 

“Sasha’s beautiful. And she’s funny. We’re so protective of her because she’s so special.” Eren responds. 

“I know that. I just mean, when you don’t get that type of attention, you tend to…let it stick with you. It even happens to people who haven’t been in relationships for a while. Like the yearning, the longing for something like that just makes you kind of…down.” you mumble. 

Eren looks over at you, green eyes peering into yours. 

“Are you down, Y/N?” he asks. 

“What?” 

“I was just asking if you were down. It’s been a while since you’ve been in a relationship.” Eren responds, the tone of his voice heartfelt. 

You sigh. 

“Okay, Mr. Long Term Relationship. I don’t want to seem like I’m jealous of Sasha, I’m actually really happy for her-” 

“I’m not in a long term relationsip.” Eren responds. 

“You’re not?” you ask. 

Eren looks over at you and frowns. 

“Did you really go into hibernation the two years you were gone? I haven’t been in a relationship for almost a year and a half now.” Eren responds. 

“Oh.” 

Eren smiles. 

“Yeah, oh. But continue with what you were saying.” Eren gestures. 

“I don’t know. Sometimes you just want someone to hold you.” you respond. 

You reach for the next set of vegetables, the slicing sound distracting you from that palpable tension in the air. 

“I get that. I feel that way too sometimes. Especially around Jean and Mikasa.” Eren responds. 

“God, don’t get me started. They’re so sweet it makes my stomach hurt.” you respond. 

You must have been too distracted by the premise, because you cut down into the softness of your fingers and immediately hiss in pain. Eren’s all too quick to move to your side, his head peering over your shoulder as he immediately starts scolding you. 

“You know, this is why I told you not to cut the vegetables, Margaret.”

“Are you really having an “I told you so moment” while I’m bleeding out, Bruce?” you deadpan. 

“You aren’t bleeding out, drama queen.” 

Eren’s quick to reach over you, pulling out the stack of alcohol wipes and bandaids from the cupboard. He places his hands on your shoulders, twisting you to face him as he holds his hand out. You instinctively high five his hand, which he rolls his eyes at. 

“Your other hand, Y/N.”

You roll your eyes as you place your injured hand in his, ignoring his featherlike touch on your fingers as he carefully wraps the Cinderella bandaid around your finger. When Eren’s all set and done, he lightly curls his hand around yours, just to immediately pull it back when he realizes what he’s done. 

“Thanks.” you respond. 

“No problem. Now move over and let me cut these before I have to put a tourniquet on you.” Eren states, sliding you slightly to the side. 

You watch Eren in silence, as he attentively makes the dinner for the two of you. And try to banish the thought from your mind, that if you and Eren were still together, that this is what every night would look like for the two of you. That he would have held you, when you said you wanted to be held. 

“Have you written any new music lately?” Eren asks, plating the food onto the dishes before picking up both and gesturing for you to follow. 

You shake your head, twisting the forks in your fingers. 

“I actually haven’t written anything since the Lucky One. Since happiness.” 

The two of you eat in silence, before Eren speaks again. 

“It’s a beautiful song, Y/N.” 

“Thank you.” you murmur. 

The interviews fresh on your mind, particularly the fact that you have confirmation now that Eren’s watched it, which has your words, rather embarrassingly, ringing in your mind. 

Eren Jaeger is the love of my life. He’s everything you want in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and more. He’s kind, he’s sensitive, he’s all too willing to understand you. Too willing to meet you where you are, as you are, and look past all the bad parts of you. 

You look over at him. 

He’s still your Eren. 

“Have you met the new you yet, Y/N?” Eren asks. 

You understand what he means. 

Have you forgiven him yet? 

“I don’t know. There’s still some things I don’t know, Eren. And I’ve been patient but-” 

“Everyone’s leaving for the first press tour on Friday.” Eren states. 

You tilt your head to the side, in confusion. 

“Everyone except you and me.” Eren adds. 

“Oh.” 

“I’ll have your answers. I just…I can’t have anyone here when we talk about this. All of it and-” 

“Well, I wouldn’t want anyone here anyways. I can’t have any accomplices to my homicide.” you state. 

Eren laughs, reaching over to lightly shove your shoulder, as he gestures for you to keep eating.

“Just two more days, okay?” Eren whispers. 

“Okay, Eren.” you respond, a silent chill running down your spine. 

You tap his foot under the table on instinct. And he taps on your foot back. 

--

Falco’s seated at the piano, his entire demeanour a mix of nerves. His hairs a tousled mess, certainly from running his hands through it a hundred times, a sizable bead of sweat on his forehead, and his hands shaking underneath his legs. 

You’re all sat around him in a circle, everyone anticipating Gabi’s arrival, as you all watch Falco nervously twitch on the bench. Last night, after Levi had finished his press brief, preparing everyone for answers to common questions (the main one being about whether or not you’re returning for season four), Falco cleared his throat and asked you all for a special request. 

For everyone to gather on the set, early morning before everyone leaves for the press tour tomorrow. And after he shuffled out of the room, Niccolo made you all aware that he was planning on playing his new song for you. 

Naturally, you all obliged. You’re all stuck in your own conversations, quietly musing and sharing the extra blankets on set, as Eren settles down next to you, crossing his legs over one another as he sits at your side. He’s holding out an extra blanket for you, which you gratefully smile at him for, before wrapping around yourself. 

“Good morning, Margaret.” 

“Hi Bruce.” 

Eren smiles, his entire demeanour shifting. He’s the most calm you’ve seen him, at least in a while. You think it suits him. Meanwhile, you can’t help but feel like an anxious ball of nerves just being here next to him. 

“Ready?” Eren asks.

Your heart drops. 

“For?” 

“Hearing Falco’s song. I heard from Gabi that it’s really great.” Eren states. 

Right. He definitely wasn’t asking about the conversation you guys were going to have when everyone left. 

“Yeah. I’m excited.” you respond. 

“Me too.” 

You swallow hard, giving Falco a smile as he glances over at you. 

“And I didn’t forget, Y/N.” he adds, voice quiet so you’re the only one who can hear it. 

You nod in response, acknowledging his words, as the dryness overtakes your throat. And on cue, Gabi runs into set, her hood pulled over her head, as she all but rambles as she walks in. 

“Ah! Falco, guys. Oh my gosh, I’m so so sorry. I woke up late and then couldn’t find my clothes and-” 

“It’s okay, Gabi.” Falco responds, giving her a soft smile. 

“Oh, Falco. I really am sorry. But I’m here now. And you’ve got this!” she responds, holding her hand out. 

Falco smiles big, reaching forward as him and Gabi complete some long winded and complicated handshake. And when they’re done, Gabi settles into the seat right next to Eren, as he reaches forward to pull the hood of her jacket down and she gives him an excited smile. 

“Sorry for making you guys do this. I just-” 

Falco stops short, absentmindedly pressing on one of the keys. 

“Y/N has told me so much about what doing press is like. Before, when I was younger. That sometimes people would ask her questions that were weirdly inappropriate or…or ask her different questions than her male co-stars and…” 

Your heart clenches. 

“It bothered me so much to think that people said stuff like that to my sister. And now that I know all of you, I hate to think you’ve all been doing press like that too. I figure we’d all leave today on a high note? And I could share something I’ve been doing for a while with you, if that’s okay.” Falco rambles, the smallest flush creeping up his neck. 

You all smile, huddling closer into your blanket as Falco starts playing the piano. 

Floorboards creaking in my home Deathly silence when alone Oh, I wish that you were here right now So unlike me, somehow I Fell in love in just three nights Those November days still haunting me

Falco’s always been a great singer. He’s always been like this - so full of energy, his voice so full of life. And you’re sure that the tears falling down your cheeks, the smile creeping up on your face, is a byproduct of the hundreds of thoughts running across your mind, but mainly the pride swelling in your chest.

That Falco’s not five anymore and that he doesn’t need your help reaching the high cabinets. And that he may not always hold your hand like he did when he was seven, but he never flinches or denies you when you ask him to. Or that really, Falco’s grown up. 

And you’re almost positive that Falco’s in love. With Gabi, whose smiling at him in awe, the clear signs of pride on her face as she watches him press down on the keys, his soft voice filling the air. 

When the gold rays fell on your skin And my hair got caught in the wind The choir sang a melancholic hymn (ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah) In the morning, you would gone I'd be mourning, tryin' to hold on To the memory of your lips God, I'm so lovesick What have you done to me?

You look around the room to find Jean pulling Mikasa flesh against his chest, Sasha and Niccolo reaching to hold each other’s hands, Hange absentmindely leaning her head on Levi’s shoulder, just for him to bring his hand up to comb through her hair. 

You look over at Eren, the soft smile on his face as he lightly bobs his head to the music. You must have been staring at him full on, because he looks over at you and smiles. 

“When did Coco grow up?” he whispers. 

“I’m literally getting a stomach ache thinking about how he’s not a baby anymore.” you respond, frowning at Falco as he finishes singing. 

At how sweet he is. At how much you love him. And how you’re going to make sure, without a doubt, that no one gets to take this away from him. 

Everyone reaches to give Falco big hugs, tousling his hair and excitedly shaking his tiny frame, as he makes his way over to where you and Eren are sitting on the floor. He lands criss cross in front of you, the smile not leaving his face. 

“Did you like it, Y/N?” he asks, the look on his face hopeful. 

You reach forward, taking his hands in yours. 

“I loved it, Coco.” 

“Really?” 

“Are you crazy? It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” you respond, squeezing his hands hard. 

Falco excitedly rushes in to hug you, only to tackle you hard straight into the ground. You both laugh, a tangled mix of limbs, and you hug him as hard as you can, trying to squeeze that big writhing feeling of love in your chest right onto him with your arms. 

“I really love you, Y/N.” Falco murmurs. 

“I really love you too, Falco. You’re going to be amazing at this. Like, triple threat level.” you respond. 

“That’s rich coming from you.” Falco responds, pulling out of your arms as you pinch his cheek. 

“Takes one to know one.” you respond. 

You cup Falco’s face in your hands. 

“You’ve got this. Really.” you murmur. 

“I know.” 

“Good. And remember, if anyone says anything shitty to Gabi-” 

“I’ll defend her.” he responds. 

You smile. 

“I’ve taught you well. Though, you’ve never really needed my help. You’ve always been great on your own.” 

“I’m lucky to learn from the best. And to have you. To protect me from all the bad stuff.” he adds. 

You smile. 

“I wish someone got to do it for you.” Falco adds. 

“That’s okay. You were always there. You did more for me than you know.” 

Falco smiles. 

“Wanna know a secret?” Falco asks. 

You nod.

“I know everyone hated those two years that you were gone. But they were my favorite.” Falco responds. 

You smile hard, reaching forward to press a kiss to his cheek. 

“Me too. I finally know how to hit people on Roblox now.” 

Falco laughs, turning his head to respond to Gabi and Kaya who are calling him at your sides. Armin’s standing post with his camera, gesturing for him to join the picture. 

And little by little, you watch every last one of them pad out of the set, the group of them giving you wistful goodbyes and promises to tell at least one interviewer to go fuck themselves on your behalf, until you and Eren are left sitting alone, on the bench of the piano. 

He turns to you, green eyes wide and round, as they peer into yours. 

“Ready, Y/N?” 

You take a deep breath in. 

“Yeah. Where should we start?” you murmur. 

“We should start here.” Eren states, handing you a little plastic box. 

You take it in your hands, inspecting it in your fingers and flipping it over. It’s a little green CD, with unmistakable handwriting markered onto the top. 

Fine Line. 

You swallow hard. 

“Is that Sukuna’s handwriting?” you ask. 

“I’m going to pretend like you didn’t just say that.” Eren responds, rolling his eyes. 

“What?” 

“You two together has been a sore spot for me since I was sixteen. And I’m not even going to ask you why you’re able to recognize his handwriting straight off the bat.” Eren teases. 

You roll your eyes. 

“What is this, Eren?” you ask. 

“Anything you could possibly want to know is on there.” he responds. 

You nod, as the two of you stand up and march back to the townhouse in silence. You twist the little box in your fingers, the CD glimmering in the light outside. When you finally make it back, you push it into the little box and take a deep breath. 

Eren reaches for your hand and squeezes. Three times. 

And you press play.

--

next part linked here

an, again: ARE YOU READY FOR IT?? in the efforts of being charitable, here's the song line up for the next chapter: ever since new york by harry styles, clean by taylor swift, all of the girls you've loved before, last kiss by taylor swift, sparks by coldplay, and obviously, fine line by harry styles. make of that what you will.

taglist:

@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06  @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @mrksnctzen @spiidergirlsworld

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3