#eric sohn angst

[sohnric]

sweet like candy – e. sohn

pairing: eric sohn x fem! reader

genre: summer au, strangers to something more ?? fluff, suggestive. very much stargazing by the neighbourgood and fantasize by the boyz capsuled into a fic. eric is a simp and a hopeless romantic because i said so. a girl romanticizes sharing a lollipop (its me im girl)

warnings: alcohol, maybe some minimal swearing, a heated make out session that hints onto a hookup (no smut mentioned!). the use of a cheesy nickname babydoll (dont @ me or i will deactivate), reader has hair long enough for a claw clip

word count: 6.9k

a/n: almost cried while trying to name this fic somebody send help. Also this doesn't feel like my best work its kinda rushed imo but 🤠 yolo

part of the @deoboyznet summer on you event! cant believe i made it on time

a summer tradition of renting out a cabin every year invented by a couple of friends takes a turn for eric when a new addition to the circle brings him to his knees - in other words, he never knew tequila could taste so sweet.

If anyone ever asked Eric Sohn if he believed in love at first sight, he would, without a doubt, say yes. 

What was the proof he had? Well, absolutely nothing. All he ever knew about love at first sight was from romance movies he watched during lonely nights with his roommate Juyeon, never having the experience of the whole world stopping and zooming in on one particular person, taking his breath away– but to put it simply, Eric Sohn is a true romantic. Call him cheesy if you want– he wouldn’t like it, but he also wouldn’t disagree. 

On one summer afternoon, though, his world tilts in its axis– the moment comes, and he is finally able to test out his theory.

You walk out of the passenger’s side of a red 2008 Toyota Auris, hair put up into a claw clip, jean shorts showing off your long legs and a pearl white button-up opened and lazily thrown over your outfit, and suddenly, Eric Sohn finds his knees buckling and his palms sweating with affection. He was aware that Juyeon’s girlfriend was bringing her best friend to tag along to their little summer retreat (more like a trip to a cabin in the middle of the woods), but he sure as hell didn’t expect the stranger to make him feel this type of way. 

Sure, it might just be him being incredibly attracted to you. But with how fast his heart was beating when you smiled at everyone after introducing yourself to the group, he was sure he was slowly, but surely falling for you. And he was falling hard.

He feels like the world is moving in slow motion as he watches the group go and unload the car– you and your best friend Yeri were the last ones to arrive– and what wakes him up from the haze is when he watches you struggle to carry a cooler out of the trunk into the cabin, his legs dragging him closer to the vehicle and near to your body.

Now is his time to shine. “Let me help!” he hurries out, sneakers crunching on the gravel. His hands firmly grab onto the handle of the blue cooler, muscles flexing under the weight (making him wonder why you would willingly want to carry the thing and not ask him or any of the guys for help in the first place), and when your eyes look up at come in contact with his, he presses a smile to his lips. “I’m Eric, by the way.”

“Ah,” you gasp, a grateful expression breezing over your features, “thanks. I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Eric hums, watching your every move. Your figure walks over to the front of the car, your head popping in close to the window to look inside, and when a satisfied look overtakes your features, Eric finds himself asking. “Is that everything?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “we can head inside, I think.”

The boy tries hard to keep his cool, he really does. But with how he’s trailing behind you like a lost puppy, attempting to find a topic that would engage him in a conversation with you, he feels like a boy that is just experiencing a crush for the first time in his life. Everything about you is enchanting– and sure, you could say he was just painfully attracted to you and this had nothing to do with love– but he was also convinced that if you asked him to jump off the Empire State Building, he would do it without giving it a second thought (which is kind of worrying, but again– it says a lot). 

You open the door to the cabin for him, and he finds himself speechless at the action. Once your eyes meet again and you offer him another subtle smile, he finds himself gasping at the sentence that comes out of your mouth.

“Hey! We’re matching, kinda,” you note, pointing towards his outfit.

And you’re right– Eric didn’t even notice at first, too enchanted with your sheer existence– but you two were indeed wearing the same thing. Jean shorts, and a white button-up– in your case, thrown over a white tank top, in Eric’s, closed (although he did leave it a bit open at the top, revealing his tanned skin). Suddenly, the boy is glad he’s wearing a red cap to cover up his hair, since he foolishly thinks the hat provides him enough shade in the face to not reveal his burning cheeks as he utters out a weak response.

“It looks so much better on you, though.”

With that, he walks into the cabin– escaping the situation, not really paying a single thought to chivalry and letting you go through the door first– and as he reaches the crowd of people in the kitchen, he prays for all high sources to find him, get to him and wipe his brain clean of all thoughts, because

even though you are basically matching (and he does think you look so much better in the outfit than he does), all he can think about is just how much more he’d like your outfit if the white button-up enveloping your body was the one he’s wearing right now instead.

The next time Eric finds courage to talk to you is when it seems like you’re not finding it to talk to anyone else yourself– the big group is currently sitting around a fire, marshmallows and sausages slowly burning in the blazing flames– and while everyone around was either talking to each other or singing along to the songs Jacob was playing on the guitar, you were sitting alone in the middle of two commotions: Chanhee and Changmin arguing about something seemingly important, and Yeri and Juyeon making out right in front of everyone’s eyes. 

And Eric was supposed to listen to Sunwoo talk about his latest heartbreak– how the man still gets no girls despite having such an objectively handsome face, Eric truly doesn’t know– but the topic of the conversation was too boring for him to engage with it. That, and he was also painfully aware of your every move– you didn’t even move much– and word– you weren’t talking to anybody– and that was slowly driving him insane.

You looked a little out of place. Eric supposes it was because you didn’t really know anyone here– except from your best friend and her awfully sappy boyfriend– but even though it was logical and a little expected for you to be a bit excluded in such a foreign circle, the man took it as his mission to make you feel as welcome and as included as he physically could.

Completely ignoring Sunwoo’s blabbering (like he was doing for the last few minutes anyway), Eric confidently (and a bit shakily– hands sweating and breath hitching in his throat) walks to the other side of the bonfire, from where he’s been watching your stone expression through the flames, and sits down in the small place between you and Changmin. Changmin wasn’t even facing you, too engrossed in the debate he was having with Chanhee, and so it was Eric’s job to wobble his bottom into the place, efficiently making the older boy move away with a light elbow jab sent into his lower back.

“Hi,” he clears his throat, “are you having fun?” he asks, but mentally curses at himself right as the question escapes his mouth– does she look like she's having fun? Of course she doesn't, you stupid idiot.

You smile at the question, though, nodding. “Yeah,” you hum, “having lots of fun listening to your friends argue and my friends making out next to my ear.”

“You seemed like it too, y’know,” Eric laughs, “they’re always like this, by the way. They’ll forget about the fight in the morning.”

“Oh, that could never be me,” you sigh, shaking your head at the sentiment.

“No?”

“No,” you shrug, “I get too petty. If we have a fight, I’m not speaking to you for at least two weeks.”

Eric finds himself laughing at your comment. “I’ll remember that for future reference.”

Straightening your back and looking at your companion– as if you were going to call him out on his subtle hint of there being any future meeting between the two of you– you suddenly gasp and swiftly turn towards the bonfire, an honest mourn escaping your lips.

“Oh fuck!” you curse under your breath as your hand reaches towards a stick that’s had its end in the flame, the device efficiently resting against a rock in a position where you didn’t have to pay any attention to the snack you were cooking– more like burning– for yourself. With a quick move for the stick, you pull the tip of it out of the scorching red of the bonfire and look at it in an examining way, as if the result would be different and the marshmallow would unburn itself if you stared at it long enough. “I completely forgot about this!”

Eric takes a glance at the burnt piece of fluff, letting out a laugh at the black marshmallow in front of your face. “That’s not how you make a good s’more,” he notes, poking fun at your annoyed face.

“Oh, no shit, Sherlock…” you mutter under your breath, but your face looks a bit sad to see the piece go to waste. “I don’t know why I even tried, I’m bad at this stuff.”

There comes his moment, Eric thinks. “Well, you’re lucky, ‘cause you just met an expert at making s’mores.”

“Does a thing like that even exist?” you chuckle, rolling your eyes at the male in disbelief. 

“Of course it does! You’re looking at one now,” he grins, leaning over you to take a brand new marshmallow out of the bag to your right– sandwiched between your thigh and the couple in love– before he reaches over to your hand and takes the roasting stick out of your hand, slides the white fluffy cloud through the sharp tip and hovers it above the flame.

“The key is to hold it above the flame, and not in the flame,” Eric chuckles as he looks at you from the corner of his eye, watching your expression change.

“Oh, but I thought the key is to burn the thing,” you ironically gasp, shaking your head at his teasing. “Where did you even learn all of this?”

“I grew up in the States,” Eric hums, “they would deport me if I didn’t know how to make s’mores.”

The comment gets a giggle out of you– a sound Eric almost folds at and falls into the open fire (thankfully, he held his composure– he doesn’t think 3rd degree burns would suit his look) – and it takes everything in him to not scream like a teenage girl at the thought of making you laugh. Yes, that’s how down bad you managed to get the male.

“Do you have a special recipe?”

“Just the basic one,” he shrugs, turning the skewer in his hand to make the marshmallow equally glazed on each side, “I will make it extra good for you, though.”

“I thought a master always does their best?” you tease, watching as the boy crumbles under your gaze.

“Not always. I don’t like to put effort into things that aren’t worth it,” Eric hums as he takes the marshmallow out of the burning fire, examining it, and after deeming it worthy, taking the skewer and holding it up in between his knees. The male takes a graham cracker and tears it in half, before adding chocolate to one of the sides. After he’s done, he carefully places the golden fluff ball onto the cracker and closes it, offering the sweet sandwich to you with a subtle smile.

“For you,” he winks as he turns back towards the fire, putting another marshmallow onto the stick to make himself a s’more as well (and also mentally kicking himself at the sudden burst of courage). He hears you take a bite out of the snack, his knee bouncing up and down nervously as he awaits the verdict.

“Man,” you hum, “this is so good.”

“Told you,” he says, “if there’s something I’m confident in, it’s making s’mores.”

“That’s a very unuseful skill to have,” you note, but continue to eat. The comment has him chuckle and shrug.

“Well, I used it now, so I’d argue it’s actually very useful.”

A hum cuts out of your throat at this, finishing the s’more he made for you with a satisfied sigh. “Is this how you got girls back in the States?” you ask, making the male choke on his spit.

Eric was too young to get girls when he learned how to make the greatest s’mores. He went camping with his dad and his older sister and he burned a couple before he got it right. He was in middle school and before what the kids call a glow-up these days (back in the days, you just called it overcoming puberty), but still– he decides to test the waters with another lazy, half-assed flirty comment. “Only the pretty ones.”

He hears a chuckle out of you– a reaction he decides to not pay much attention to or overthink, for he doesn’t really remember what a good reaction to flirting is anymore– but then, you sigh and nod. “Well, I give your s’more a 5 star review, so I’d find that believable.”

The comment has Eric press his tongue into the inside of his cheek, battling a victorious smile that wants to oh so desperately appear on his lips. Turning his attention fully to you, he looks at you with confidence coating his insides– it only grows when he notices you staring at the side of his face, the flame of the fire twinkling in your eye and making your features sharper and twice as attractive to the poor boy. 

His eyes scan you over for a few seconds before he notices a glimmer of something on the side of your lip– a chocolate stain that has him cautiously lean in and swipe a thumb over the sweetness, not even thinking twice before smoothing his finger over your skin. 

“You had a little… something there,” he hums as he licks the chocolate off his thumb. Your eyes still trained on him force him to avert his gaze back to the fire– for it was unbearable, as if sparks were flying and burning his skin, everything about the interaction making goosebumps appear over his body; even though he felt hot in his cheeks and not at all cold– when the sight of his marshmallow in flames suddenly comes to him, startling him awake.

Hurriedly dragging out the burnt snack out of the fire, he hears you chuckle at him from the side– so much for not ruining the moment. (It’s okay, though. As long as you’re entertained.)

“I thought you were a master at s’mores,” you poke fun at him, “got distracted?”

Meeting eyes with you, Eric shrugs, a lazy grin settling to his lips. “I guess you could say that.”

The night progresses quickly– with Sunwoo getting so drunk he borrows Jacob’s guitar and clumsily strums the strings, freestyle rapping about the most random topics with flushed cheeks and eyes dramatically glued to the fire; Hyunjae wanting to have a competition of who can jump over the flames and Sangyeon having to stop his drunk friend with the force of his own body– and Eric finds his eyes lacking the candy he’s been occupying himself with the whole evening. You disappeared somewhere into the house a few minutes ago, and although he didn’t want to be clingy, he walked up to the cabin with a nervous pep in his step– that’s it, he just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Eric walks through the doorway, having his body immediately be met with the joined common room slash kitchen area. The cabin is kind of small (too small for the amount of people currently occupying it) and kind of old, but it’s a tradition to rent it every year during the summer, so no one ever questioned the decision or made the move to rent out a bigger one, no matter the growing friend group.

Your figure finally appears in the dimly lit kitchen area, your back turned to the doorway. Standing at the kitchen sink, it seems like you were doing the dishes– tons of plates used to carry grilled meat and sausages dumped carelessly into the sink, forgotten in a minute and leaving the last remains of food dry up on them and get hard to scrape off, a couple of glasses and mugs with their ears broken off from their age waiting with coffee stains at the bottom– and Eric immediately feels his heart fall down to his stomach, because why would one do the dishes in the middle of the night? Those usually get left there until the morning, when the least hungover person will take mercy on the rest and take care of them. Were you feeling excluded from the conversation? Did you feel bored? 

“What are you doing here so alone?” he asks, making you turn your head over your shoulder and smile at him– a stone falling off his heart at the action– before you shrug at him.

“Washing the dishes,” you say, as if it wasn’t clear already.

“I see that,” Eric chuckles, “what I meant to say was, why are you washing the dishes in the first place?”

“Well, somebody’s gotta do it.” 

Eric huffs– and he doesn’t even know why he’s so defensive about it. “That someone didn’t have to be you, y’know.”

He’s standing next to you now– your eyes meeting as you stare at the boy for a heartbeat– a smile spreading on your face at his furrowed brows. The action has him visibly relax, watching as you shrug and get back to the dish washing. “I just wanted some alone time for a bit,” you muse, “outside was getting too loud for a second, I’m not used to crowds.”

“Ah… once Sunwoo drinks, he can’t shut up, so I kinda get that it was starting to feel insufferable,” Eric notes, nodding at you in acknowledgement before the realization hits him. “Wait– you said you wanted to be alone, so I should probably-”

You halt him with a soft laugh– the one Eric finds his heart liking a little too much, with how it jumps up and down and makes all of him feel warm inside– a soapy hand reaching out in his direction. “It’s okay, you can stay,” you muse, “I enjoy your company.”

“O-okay,” Eric stutters– so much for the smooth lines he had prepared in his head before coming in here, all of them flying out of his head straight out of the window– and to not seem so silly, he gets his hands occupied and reaches for the clean dishes you started stacking on the counter next to the sink, deciding to dry them and put them away. The kitchen falls into a comfortable silence that only gets broken by an occasional scream landing through the walls from outside, and Eric can’t help but indulge himself in the domesticity of the act.

He can almost imagine you two washing the dishes like this in your shared apartment after you two cook dinner together and eat it in your cozy living room. That scenario sounds almost too good for the boy, having warmth slowly ooze into his cheeks, and that, he finds to be the hint that he should probably stop thinking about you in that way now or else he’ll get too distracted and break the glasses he is currently putting away. (God forbid– there were not enough of them for the entire friend group in the first place.)

“Are you having a good time, though?” Eric finds himself asking through his weird delirium.

You smile– oh god you smile, you should stop doing that if you want him to survive the night– and nod at the boy, calmness overtaking your aura and slipping into his cracks as well. “I am. It’s nice meeting new people and everyone’s very nice,” you say.

“That’s good to hear. How long have you and Yeri been friends?”

“A couple of years,” you note, “we met during high school. We always dreamt of moving away to college and living together at dorms or something, so it’s… it’s nice that it worked out for us,” you say, having Eric nod at your words with a sweet smile.

“That’s great to hear,” he muses, “I met Juyeon and Sunwoo in my freshman year of college, and the rest just… came along after a while.”

“Your friend group is pretty big,” you point out, having the boy shrug.

“I guess so,” Eric mumbles, never really thinking of it this way– in his eyes, this was normal. This was how he operated, how he lived. A lot of people around him, always close– one would think such a large friend group wouldn’t be as close with each other, but it’s quite the opposite in his case, he thinks. Maybe he was just blessed.

“How do you do that?” you sigh, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I dunno,” he snickers, “guess you could say I’m quite the social butterfly.”

“I can see that,” you laugh. Eric watches you, his hands now empty of any dish– he’s been drying them quicker than you manage to clean (and rightfully so, the food is stuck on there) – he starts noticing the details of your sheer presence. How you have a slight smile playing with your lips even when your eyes are glued to the sink, how your hair slightly slips out of the claw clip and frames your face, how close you’re standing– his eyes slip towards your hands, noticing the water running down your forearms and dangerously close to the sleeves of your shirt.

Acting on reflex, mostly, the boy reaches towards your sleeves and gently tugs them up, the contact of your skin that he initiates and should realistically be prepared for making the tips of his fingers tingle, the action having you stop in your movements and glance up at him through your eyelashes– a sight he wishes he could engrave into the back of his eyelids so he could stare at it forever and always.

“Thank you,” you hum, voice barely louder than a whisper when he retracts away from you, taking his previous stance against the kitchen counter.

Eric hangs his head low for a second, clearing his throat to ease his own tension. Now is your turn to start up the conversation, a casual question falling off your lips as you get back to washing the last remains of dishes. “Yeri said you come here often?” 

The boy nods enthusiastically to your sentence. “We do. We started in freshman year, because Juyeon was going to this exchange program to Paris for a couple of months, so we threw him a goodbye party. Then he came back, so we threw a welcome back party here. And then we celebrated Younghoon hyung’s birthday here, and it kind of stuck, I guess? We go here at least once a year during summer.”

“That’s a nice tradition to have,” you sigh, turning the faucet off as you finish rinsing off the last dish– a big bowl that Sangyeon used to marinate the meat a few hours ago.

“It is,” Eric nods, smiling fondly at the sentiment. He reaches for the bowl and dries it with the now damp rag (there were a lot of dishes to dry, after all), and moves to put it back to its place under the sink. With your figure still in its previous spot, the boy puts away the towel onto the kitchen counter and gently grabs your waist with his free hand, moving you away a few inches to the left. He crouches and opens the cabinet under the sink and puts the bowl into the pyramid of other ones, straightening his back when he goes back into a standing position, catching you staring at him from above, watching his every move. Your body is leaning against the counter, having Eric mirror your stance only a few inches away from you before speaking up again. 

“You’re welcome to join us when we come back next time.”

The time reads 3AM– or at least that’s what his circadian rhythm tells him, because he doesn't bother to check as he twists and turns in the bed, too hot and too alert to fall asleep– when Eric decides to walk down the steep stairs and try to get some fresh air. The cabin is hot inside, but he still takes his lost button-up that he had thrown over one of the kitchen chairs and puts it on before he makes his way outside, knowing that the forest will make his bones get cold with the crisp breeze. 

He opens the door and moves to sit on the little patio– the silence of outside is overwhelming even after the cabin has quieted down and everyone has gone to sleep (each one on a different level of tipsy ranging from completely chill Sangyeon to doesn’t know where he is Sunwoo– with Eric somewhere in the middle of the spectrum). His legs drag a little tiredly as he scans his surroundings– god forbid there’s a bear out waiting for him– when the sight of a figure sitting on the floor takes him by surprise, their head already turned to him after hearing the sound of the door opening. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks as he walks over to you, noticing your frame dressed in a tank top and sweatpants, hinting that you at least tried to get some sleep before coming out here, just like he has.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you shrug, confirming his suspicions.

“Same here,” the man sighs, “mind if I sit with you?”

“You’re welcome to join me,” you smile at him, patting the floor next to you and watching as Eric crouches down before taking a seat on the wood, ignoring the sunbeds and old rattan chairs situated all over the patio. (If you’re on the floor, he’s on the floor– it’s as simple as that.)

You’re holding a lollipop in between your fingers, your other hand occupied with a half-empty bottle of tequila that was previously passed around the circle at the bonfire. Eric raises his brows at the sight, having you shamefully avert your gaze from him.

“I thought it would be a waste to not finish this,” you say, snickering, “and I also… kind of hoped that it would put me to sleep…”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures?” 

“I guess you could say that,” you laugh. Taking a sip from the bottle, you gulp the alcohol down before putting the lollipop inside of your mouth, sucking on it and licking your lips after. This is not the way you’re supposed to drink tequila, but Eric figures that gathering salt and a lime would be too much work anyways.

“Are you really using that lollipop as a chaser?” he giggles, making you hum.

“Yeah,” you stare at him, a grin overtaking your features, “this girl taught me to do that at a party last year. It’s not as good as literally anything else, but it gets the job done. Wanna try?” you ask, offering him the sweetness on the stick and the bottle.

The truth is, you were only a bit tipsy when the group slowly started to scatter into their beds. Eric didn’t drink as much either– only enough to make him laugh at everything that was said and make his staring at you twice as obvious as it was before– so he thinks he can take some more. As you said, it would be a shame if the bottle went to waste– and also, something about the idea of drinking with you alone on the patio was making his hopeless heart hammer against his chest in dangerous measures.

“Sure,” he agrees, taking the bottle first. The boy takes a sip, feeling the alcohol burn down his throat, and when he moves the dark brown glass away from his lips, he is met with the image of you leaning closer to him, offering him the lollipop. His hand instinctively grabs the plastic stick, thinking you’re letting go of it, when he’s met with the feeling of your flesh under his fingertips. You put the lollipop against his lips, making him open up on instinct and suck on the strawberry flavored candy, a million different sensations (all unrelated to the alcohol) swimming through his brain– you’re so close, you smell so good, he’s holding your hand, he’s sucking on the lollipop you previously had in between your lips and it’s driving him crazy– before you take the candy out from between his lips and put it back into your mouth, tongue swirling around the sweet ball. 

The lollipop had an aftertaste of tequila on it, but it was enough to chase down the faint bitterness– Eric finds himself wanting to taste more of the sweet strawberry, but foolishly desiring to get the sensation off your lips instead. His eyes stay locked with yours throughout the whole exchange, sparks flying in between the two of you even though the bonfire has long gone out, his fingers lazily dropping from the candy.

“How was it?” you ask, voice barely louder than a whisper– goosebumps appearing all over Eric’s skin when he swears your eyes flicker to his lips for a split second. 

“Good,” he admits. It’s silly how he feels so breathless at the action.

The sound of the wind playing with the leaves of the forest is the only thing accompanying you two. It’s as if you two were thinking of the same thing when you pull out the lollipop out of your mouth and offer it back to Eric, watching with utmost interest as the boy leans closer to capture it in between his lips, never breaking eye contact. The action feels a little too electrifying to him, a little too intimate, but he can't stop– can't even imagine wanting to.

Taking a sip of the tequila, but not chasing it down with the candy, you speak up again, lazy eyes practically glued to him. “This would be a perfect moment for a kiss…” you mumble, licking your bottom lip for a split second before biting down on it.

“Are you flirting with me?” Eric foolishly asks, tone of voice a bit weak, a little unsure, the candy still in his mouth, making his words come out a little jambled.

“Mhm,” you nod, grinning to yourself– Eric wonders how much of your behavior and how much of his raging heartbeat is due to the effect of alcohol in both of your veins.

His fingers pull at yours as he takes the candy out of his mouth, voice dropping as he answers you. “Then we probably shouldn’t waste the moment.”

Even though the intentions are clear, the boy can’t bring himself to make the first move– he’s completely enchanted with your presence, staring at you with tension in his shoulders and eyes trained onto your face, watching and examining it for any shift or change. Focused on the way you move, he thinks you must have realized you were going to have to be the one to take the first step– your lazily smile before you lean closer, impossibly close– making Eric’s eyes flutter shut with anticipation, your breath fanning his face making goosebumps appear all over his body.

When your lips finally touch his, he feels like he’s being kissed for the first time again, with the amount of fuzziness in his stomach and buzzing in his ears. He regains his composure quite quickly, though, as he positions his head in a way that makes you two even closer to each other, lips pressing firmer against yours now. His hand instinctively reaches out to hold your jaw, fingertips glazing the soft skin under them, your lips retracting only to go in for more. 

Blindly placing the bottle onto the floor next to your bodies, you peck his lips and sigh into the kiss. “Damn, you’re good at this…”

“We’re only getting started,” he muses, making you chuckle. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm,” he nods, watching as you once again lean in and suck on his upper lip, making his eyes flutter close again. A weight appears over him as you shift in your place and move to straddle his lap, your hand moving to cup his cheek and tilt him upwards, everything about the kisses getting more hurried– less gentle, less hesitant– when you tug on his bottom lip with your teeth and grant your tongue entry into his mouth.

Sweetness mixes in between you, your hands moving around his neck, heavy breaths shared across the patio. Eric feels like he’s levitating, his body having an out of body experience, yet being awfully present– every little shift pushing him to overdrive, the slightest touch making his skin burn and heart drum against his ribcage.

You shift in his lap, making him huff under the pressure, his lips trailing wet kisses down the side of your neck. Teeth glazing the jointure of your shoulder, kitten licking the place and sucking in a bruise that will eventually be visible to everyone when you two wake up in the morning, Eric feels your hands tugging down the sleeves of his shirt, fingers feeling up his biceps. The action makes him chuckle into your neck, but the smile fades quickly as he feels your nails scratching gently at his flaming skin.

“Take this off,” you mutter, and Eric finds it endearing– helping you take him out of the button-up, sitting under you in just a white tank top and black basketball shorts. 

“Why?” 

“Your arms looked good in this,” you hiss before you hide your face into his neck, leaning down to give him your fair share of kisses and love bites, having the male teasingly joke as his hands run up under your tank top, painfully aware of the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra anymore.

He moves his head to the side to give you more access before speaking out, tone of voice husky and coated in lust. “What if I get cold now?” 

“Then I’m more than happy to move this to your room,” you purr into his ear.

Eric sighs, fingers playing with the hem of your top before he lets his palms drift towards your exposed stomach, roaming across naked skin. Goosebumps appear all over your body at the action, making the boy victoriously grin. “It looks like you’re the one that's cold, though, babydoll.”

Rolling your eyes at the male, you shut him up by latching yourself onto his lips before you speak against his mouth. “I’ll take that as an invitation, then?”

“Wake up Eric! The girls are leaving, you should at least go say goodbye!” Sangyeon roars into the boy's room, making the male turn over in the bed and huff out in frustration. He drags his arm up to shield his eyes from the sunlight hitting his face, the intention of just rolling over and sleeping more written very clearly in his face.

“Come on man, we’re leaving in an hour too, so you should go send them off and then pack your shit so we can load the cars,” Sangyeon says when he gets no reaction from the youngest. It’s to no use, apparently, and so as the oldest and most observant out of the group, Sangyeon decides to use physical force– he knows Eric would hate to have you go without saying goodbye. He’s not stupid. Or blind. 

A strong hold on his calves drags Eric out of the bed and makes his half-naked body fall to the floor, a yelp coming out of his throat finally making Eric’s body fully alert and awake. 

“Yo! What the fuck–”

“Put a shirt on and go say goodbye to Y/N before she goes, would you, sleeping beauty?” Sangyeon huffs before rolling his eyes at his younger friend, escaping the room and shutting the door close after himself with a loud thud (to add more effect to the scolding, Eric thinks).

The mention of your name has Eric quickly scrambling out of the bed. His heart hammers at the adrenaline rush, pulling a clean shirt out of his bag and dragging it over his head, the basketball shorts from yesterday’s night found on the floor being pulled over his lower frame in approximately 0.5 seconds. Eric takes the stairs 3 at a time– with how steep they are, he questions how exactly does he not trip and break his spine on his way down– and puts on a pair of slippers he finds at the door (that are not his, or his size, for the matter, making his heels comically stick out from the back). 

Without checking his appearance in the mirror anywhere, he swings the door open and walks out of the cabin, watching as the group settles in a half-circle around your car, Yeri loading the trunk with her duffle bag before she closes it shut and smiles at her boyfriend Juyeon on the side. Eric joins the crowd, clearing his throat when his eyes fall onto your figure, the sight in front of him freezing him in his spot.

You’re standing there, in your jean shorts from the day before, an oversized white button-up enveloping your frame. A clueless stranger might not tell the difference, but he does– you put the shirt onto your bare skin and buttoned it just enough to reveal a bit of your cleavage– and it’s so similar to the outfit you had on yesterday, just with one difference. 

You’re wearing Eric’s shirt. You’re wearing his shirt and your neck is scattered with red and purple-ish bruises, and no, Eric wasn’t that drunk and he remembers everything, but the events of last night suddenly play out right in front of his eyes like a movie, still nailing him to his spot and wiping out all of his vocabulary.

The boy feels hot in his cheeks as he watches you and your best friend pay your goodbyes to the rest of the boys, the men pulling you into side-hugs and fist bumps, shared ‘It was nice meeting you’s and ‘You should come by next time too’s resonating through the place. Soon enough, you reach the end of the make-shift half circle and lock your eyes with Eric, a playful smile softly appearing on your face.

“It was nice meeting you, Eric,” you hum, “I had fun,” you note, shooting him a knowing look.

“Me too,” he nods, nervously chewing on his bottom lip. He doesn’t know where the confidence of last night went, but he suddenly feels unarmed and lost. What does one do now?

The sight of you in his shirt makes him feel like his biggest (wet) dream has come true– call him cheesy, but it also wakes up a sense of déja vu in him from the day before– you with sunlight in your eyes, hair messed up in a claw clip. He feels like he just fell in love at first sight again. Is that even possible?

It’s good you have a sense in you that makes you take the initiative and be in charge when you see him faltering. A giggle cuts out of your throat as you lean in and hug the boy around his neck, your lips dangerously close to his ear as you speak in a hushed whisper, not wanting to be heard by the men around you.

“I stole your shirt from you, by the way. You should text me if you want it back, so we can meet up, or something,” you mouth, lips gently glazing the sensitive skin of Eric’s ear, and god does he feel like he's going to suffocate from the lack of oxygen this causes in his lungs.

“You look amazing in my clothes, so I won’t ask for it back,” Eric hums, “but I’ll text you just in case you ever wanna bless my eyes with the sight again.”

“Deal. I’ll make Juyeon text me your number,” you say before you pull away from him, shooting him a wink that almost has his knees buckling like a school boy in love for the first time.

You walk backwards and wave at the group, sending Eric one last look before you join the passenger’s side and close the car door behind you, the sound of Yeri starting the engine resonating through the quiet forest. The men wave at you until the Toyota disappears out of sight, only scattering inside when it does to gather their things and load up their cars as well.

Eric is woken up from his trance by a teasing whistle coming out of Sunwoo’s mouth and a father-like slap to his back from Sangyeon.

He wonders if he’s truly being so obvious. (He's unaware of the fact that you two had very visible matching love bites on your necks. It doesn’t take much effort to put two and two together– don't tell him that, though.)

Still, Eric shrugs and goes inside with a different kind of pep to his step. 

When he licks his lips, he swears he can still taste the strawberries.

[winterchimez]

Tornado Warnings | Eric Sohn

SUMMARY: you have sworn that you would never get involved with the campus fuckboy, Eric Sohn. however, you have decided one day that enough was enough, and you would sacrifice yourself and ignore all of the tornado warnings that were clearly tearing you apart.

PAIRING: fuckboy!Eric x f!reader

GENRE: angst, suggestive, slight fluff

WARNINGS: nc-17, frat parties 😃, alcohol consumption, the sexual tension here is strong yall oops, fuckboy Eric...need i say more than that 😁, he is flirty af, he is umm shirtless at one scene 😀, cheating & playing with one's feelings (don't do that irl folks), petnames (babe, princess), name-calling (again, its horrible don't do that), reader walks in on Eric making out with someone at one point 👀, kissing, making out, teasing, arguments, slight manipulation, reader ignores her own feelings/well-being for months but eventually faces them

WORD COUNT: 3,604

A/N: back with another release for the emails i can't send fwd: series with @sanaxo-o, and this is written for @mosviqu ✨ happiest birthday bar, i tried my best and i really hope you liked this!! 💓 thankiew my dearest 妹妹 @sungbeam for giving me ideas & helping me beta (along with @drunkdrazed emma & sana) i love yall always 🥹💗 also tagging other eric mooties for this 👀 @itsbeeble @kimsohn

This will be the last time I’ll ever do this again.

You have been repeating that to yourself over the past several months, constantly reminding yourself that you will never get into a messed-up relationship again. At least, that’s what you thought about before you were brought back to reality, where you’re standing on the front porch of a party location for the night.

Why exactly was that? Frankly, you had no idea yourself.

But there was only one way to find out: to enter the frat party that catered to the seniors for the night. You pretty much knew most of the people here since they were students who belonged to your batch.

Instead of carrying out your usual routine, go to find your deskmate in psych, who was the one who often dragged you out from your bubble to parties like this, and have a couple of drinks before passing out on one of the couches towards the end of the room; you decided to do the complete opposite tonight.

You walked straight towards the outdoor pool area, where most students were holding their glasses of cocktails and dancing around the pool. Some were enjoying their time playing in the waters. You had one goal in mind: to walk straight towards the other end and to find him.

Sure enough, he was there lying on one of the sunloungers with his favourite whiskey in hand while a few girls were hovering around him, touching his bare chest. You couldn’t care less about that since you already knew this was his norm.

But now it was your time with him, and you boldly made your way towards him, standing right before him before he ushered the other girls away. He allowed you to crawl up to him before settling down on his lap, and he rested his free hand on your waist.

“Hey babe, I have been waiting for you since forever,” he grinned before leaning towards you while resting his fingers on your chin.

Instead of giving him a reply, you stared deeply into his eyes before wrapping your arms around his neck, making the male rest his thumb on your lips to part them. “Look at you, already missing my touch so bad. We’ve only just bumped into each other this morning on campus.”

Once again, not a single word left your mouth, but eventually, you decided to lean in to close the gap between you both before sealing your lips with his. The kiss was messy, and you were slowly savouring the leftover alcohol that was on his lips, slowly getting drunk by the way his lips moved against yours as if he knew exactly which spot to get to.

You have lost count of how many times you have made out, and Eric Sohn knew you from A to Z, especially when it comes to playing around with your feelings and emotions.

He was the campus fuckboy, after all.

Flashback

“Y/N! You won’t believe what just happened.” Your roommate Naomi came rushing through your front door, not even bothering to close it before she frantically entered your bedroom.

“Woah, what’s up? And why exactly is your face flushed red?” You asked.

“What else would it be? Obviously, it’s about the guy we all hate to the depths of the earth’s core!” She yelled, placing both hands on either side of her hips before she began rhythmically tapping her feet.

As soon as you heard the word “guy,” you knew exactly who she was referring to—someone you had sworn to never get caught up with again.

Eric Sohn.

“Let me guess, he had a one-night stand with one of our acquaintances,” you announced with crossed arms.

“Not just an acquaintance, Y/N. It’s Stella-”

Upon hearing that name, you immediately stood up from your chair, dropped some of your lecture notes, and made a mess on your tidied-up bedroom floor. Anger began rising rapidly within you, and you had to try your best to contain yourself and not make a scene before your neighbour started complaining about your specific unit for the nth time this month.

“Not Stella,” you fumed.

“Oh yes he did, Y/N. And things are not looking good right now.”

“Please God, tell me she’s alright,” you pleaded with Naomi, shaking her shoulders. But it seemed your roommate wouldn’t spill the tea that easily.

“It’s best if you check it out yourself,” your roommate silently mumbled before you dashed out the door and grabbed your coat frantically to go see whatever mess he had done this time.

And you hoped that it wasn’t as bad as the previous one.

You were now supporting Stella upright as she tried to position herself directly in front of the sink and calm herself down after having too many drinks than her usual intake. You absolutely hated how your friend—well, former friend—got Stella as messed up as he did to the other girls.

You and Eric went all the way back to kindergarten, where you had always known that there was this little boy who would often cry every single day all because he knew that he wasn’t going to see his parents for a couple of hours, and would try all sorts of methods to convince that he wasn’t fit to enter the school’s compound.

Naturally, everyone knew and labelled him as the “crybaby” and just didn’t really know how to interact with him much.

In the beginning, you reacted the same way with the other kids, thinking that he would eventually grow out of it and decide to mind your own business. However, it came a day when the kids were paired up for a little mini-activity, and that was when you got the infamous boy himself.

Contradicting what the others said about him, he was a jovial and happy-go-lucky kid. In fact, he was the one who helped bring you out of your bubble and made it easier for you to go around meeting new friends. He would often link his arms with you as you walked down the school halls daily, which made the other kids label you two as a couple.

Frankly, you didn’t mind all that because you enjoyed his company. In reality, you often looked forward to being paired up with him again for another activity or sport. After that experience, he would often make his way towards your desk, eat his bento boxes with you during meals, and show off the pretty animal-themed meals his mother had made especially for him.

You often giggled at how he would talk about himself all the time, and it was just mesmerising to see the joy and look on his face whenever he spoke of himself. Adding on to that, he was definitely taught well at home with the way he would go all-out to make friends with others during school hours and help them out in any circumstances possible. He was no longer the “crybaby” that everyone once labelled him as.

Things were going well until one day, his family decided to leave for the States. To say that you were sad about your friend leaving would’ve been an understatement—you were devastated. Not only was he the very first friend you made in kindergarten, but you also felt as if he was your soulmate since he knew everything about you and had never once done nor said the wrong thing that made you upset.

During that time, Eric couldn’t say much either since you were both still young, so he had no choice but to leave with his family. On the very last day when he was in Seoul though, he made sure to give you the tightest hug and place multiple pecks all over your face, promising you that fate would reunite you both someday.

That day eventually came, but you never would have expected to reunite with him the way you did after all these years.

You were both 22, casually entering your second year of university before you encountered the man himself. You were shocked, to say the least, when he first stepped into the lecture hall—his hair was fully blonde, he had several tattoos all over his body, and every girl swooned over him.

He was now a hot mess.

The Eric Sohn you once knew was far gone because the one here was nowhere near the little boy you admired back in kindergarten. Word often spread quickly in college, so you frequently heard about his little date nights with multiple women and his so-called “flavor of the month.”

He was one of the wealthier students on campus, hosting house parties almost once every month. These parties attracted quite the crowd, causing a more ever-present distinction between them and students like you and your roommates—the goody-two-shoes who prioritised studies more than drinking and making out with different people in one night.

That was until he got involved in your affairs.

It all started with him dating one of the girls within your circle, and it ended horribly, to the point that the student herself decided to cut all ties with everyone and isolate herself either in the library or in the comforts of her apartment all the time.

It took you a while to figure out what happened before you could get the girl to talk it out. He was toying with her throughout the relationship, and there were no fixed boundaries or respect while they were together. He seemed unable to settle down with just one girl, and cheating was prominent throughout the entire relationship.

Unfortunately, he didn’t stop there. Multiple exes followed after that, and you’ve seen the heartbreaks he had caused throughout campus. You couldn’t believe it, or rather, you didn’t want to think this was the same soulmate you once had way back in your childhood.

It just didn’t add up.

That was until it happened to Stella.

You couldn’t believe your ears when you found out that your best friend had decided to date with your former friend. As much as you wanted to pull her out of the mess, she knew what she was getting into; who were you to judge or have a say in someone’s decision and relationship?

However, now that you’d witnessed your friend’s downfall in person, you could no longer sit back and watch your former friend continue on his sick, twisted games. So you stomped right out of the bar and walked all the way to Eric’s apartment. Thanks to Stella, you also knew his pin number to unlock the front door, and you wasted no time and quickly barged into the compound.

Sure enough, you found him making out with another girl on his couch, and both of them were definitely surprised to see a random girl going into his apartment without prior notice. The girl under your former fried began grilling him some questions, but all Eric did was stare back at you, eyeing you from head to toe.

In the end, he kindly dismissed the girl for the night before closing the front door and walking straight towards you, now standing a few centimetres away from you.

“It’s been a while, Y/N. To what do I owe the pleasure? Have you been alright?”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Sohn. You know exactly why I’m here,” you spat, trying to contain the anger and fumes that were slowly rising.

Instead, your reaction intrigued the man, and he returned the favour by smiling at you, one that you knew wasn’t going to end well.

“What does Stella got to do with you, hmm? Unless you’re jealous-”

“Jealous? Don’t make me laugh; I’m here to put you right in your place, mister.” You stomped right towards him and shoved him against the wall, cornering him with both your hands beside his head. “I don’t know what the hell happened when you were in the States, but I surely did not anticipate such behaviour from you after all these years.”

Eric quietly stared at you for a few moments before he lifted his thumb and rested it on your lips, which made you twitch at the contact. “You know, Y/N. There’s this joy in seeing how so many people around you want you. It’s fun and quite thrilling if you ask me.” He was now smacking his lips, and you knew he would make advances if you didn’t stop him there.

Hence, you smacked his hands away before grabbing onto his collar. “Your time playing with innocent girls is up, Sohn. Leave them the hell alone,” you snarled.

“Hmm, what makes you think I’d listen to you?”

You were now put in a bind spot. There was no denying those words that Eric had just spat right into your face. You had no control over him, and hell, even if you were part of the student council, you couldn’t do anything since he wasn’t posing as a threat to the other students.

Another factor was that he was well-loved by the students, particularly female students on campus since he was the guy that everyone wished they could elope with after all. It must be a joke for the fuckboy to listen to your proposal, thinking that you’ll ever have hopes of changing the guy.

But something in you snapped, and you couldn’t care less about the methods you would try to pull off.

Even if that meant sacrificing yourself.

“If I were to date you and meet your needs, you leave the other girls alone.”

That came as a shock to Eric; never in a million years would he have thought you would suggest something like this. You have always been a goody-two-shoes from kindergarten until university. He was well aware of your group of friends: the library was where you would visit most frequently, and you would be back in the dormitories by ten at night.

It took him a while to respond properly, and you weren’t just going to stand there and wait all night, so you did the impossible and pulled him down towards you.

You locked your lips with his.

It all happened so fast, and the anger and frustration prevented you from rationalising your thoughts and making you do what you had done. If you would’ve told yourself that you would lose your first kiss to your former friend turned campus fuckboy, you would’ve immediately jumped off the nearest cliff off campus.

As soon as you pulled away, a smirk appeared on his face, and he quickly turned the tables so that you were now pinned against the wall, his hands travelling down to your waist before licking his lips once again.

“Whatever you say, princess.”

This whole situationship went on for months, and you were slowly losing your sanity each day. Eventually, you slowly began to give into his urges, playing along with his little games if that meant keeping your friends safe.

Nobody understood why you did it, especially your roommates and circle of friends. Naomi would constantly remind you about all of the horrible things that he did, and you would one hundred percent regret getting involved in his affairs. But if that meant keeping your friends safe and unharmed, you would do it ten times over.

Hence, there is a change in your daily routine: meet up with Eric every day after lectures and accompany him either to the local bars or the comforts of his apartment, and stay the night there whenever it gets too late for you to return to your own. You really didn’t mind it at all since you had a roof over your head and you were safe in his arms.

At least that was what you convinced yourself it would be.

His fuckboy demeanour didn’t stop there, and he would often be seen hanging out and flirting with the other girls. But there was a drastic difference this time: he knew exactly when to draw the line and chose not to advance further than that.

As much as your circle of friends would constantly remind you about all the terrible things Eric had done, you convinced yourself that if he doesn’t see them, then they probably didn’t exist after all.

But one question still remains: Are you really okay with everything unfolding in front of your eyes?

Was lying to yourself about your actual feelings worth it for the sake of your friends? And was going into this despite ignoring all the tornado warnings worth it in the long run?

End of flashback

“Hey babe, is everything alright?”

You were brought back to reality with Eric rubbing off a little teardrop that flowed down to your cheeks, not realising that you had been consumed with your thoughts so much that you actually cried in front of him.

You were at a loss for words and couldn’t pinpoint why that was either. All you did was gently touch the area he had just wiped off before you felt your eyes begin to water again.

This time, Eric genuinely seemed concerned and cupped your face gently with his hands for the very first time since you both started this entire messed-up situationship months ago.

“I don’t know…I don’t even know why I’m here tonight, Eric,” you began sobbing but tried to hide your tears by choking back them. Why am I like this? Why do I keep doing this with you, knowing my feelings are not validated or ignored? Why did it have to be you?”

You couldn’t care less if people around you began giving you the side-eye, seeing that a girl was sitting on top of Eric in the midst of the frat party sobbing uncontrollably. You have held it in for far too long, ignoring all the warnings your friends have constantly tried to ingrain in your mind.

You got yourself into this situation; you should’ve known that you were getting yourself into trouble when you proposed that idea to him. You should’ve known that you were going to get your heart broken-

Before you could continue with those thoughts, you felt a little peck on your forehead, only to open your eyes to see that Eric had left a little mark right there, closing his eyes to cherish that short moment before pulling away.

“Did that help?” He asked, once again rubbing your red puffy cheeks with his thumbs.

“Eric…why would you…” you sniffed.

“I realised something, Y/N. While I was with you for the past several months.”

“W-What exactly was that?”

“I’m well aware of the things people call me. I know all about the red flags people say about me; frankly, I’ve done some screwed-up shit and brought myself into this messy situation. I know you decided to date me for the sake of your friends, and it’s very brave of you to do that, despite knowing the hurt and harm that would prevail when getting together with me. But that’s not my point-”

He cuts himself off by positioning himself upright on the sunlounger he was lying on, now holding both sides of your shoulders before taking a deep breath to proceed with what he was about to say to you.

“Y/N. You’ve shown me how friends would stand up for each other in a situation like this and how all of these games that I’ve been playing for so long aren’t going to last forever. Emotions are something that shouldn’t be taken lightly, and you shedding actual tears in front of me proved more than enough for me to make my final judgement,” he huffed, knowing that it wasn’t easy for him to get those words off his chest.

Eric began mumbling a few words before he finally decided he was ready to say them out loud to you. “Y/N, will you teach me how to love?”

Your eyes widened upon those words coming out from him; it felt as if you were looking right at the same boy back in kindergarten, your soulmate and childhood best friend. The sudden wave of nostalgia came rushing over you, and you tried your best to hold those tears back as you needed to properly hear him say the words you wanted to hear for the longest time.

“What are you saying, Eric?”

“it is exactly that, Y/N. I’m…trying my best to muster up the courage to say that out loud to you right now. I know you’d probably laugh at my face,” he chuckled. “A guy like me asking the girl who he's been taking advantage of to teach him actual love? Yeah, I’m insane for all of that, I know-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you sealed his lips with a kiss, pushing him back down the lounger, savouring the taste of his lips. Eric returned the favour and deepened the kiss by wrapping his arms around you, his fingers running through your long, wavy hair while he was at it before pulling it apart for some air after a good minute.

“W-What was that for?” He stammered.

With that, you finally gave him a genuine smile for the first time since reuniting with him here on campus. “Welcome back, Eric Sohn.”

In the end, you both burst into laughter, enjoying that little moment together before resting your forehead against his. “So, I’m taking this as a yes? That you accept my proposal?”

You chuckled before ruffling his hair with your hands.

“Maybe if you take me out on a skateboard date the next time, I’ll consider it done, Mr. Tornado Warnings.”

emails i can't send fwd: series masterlist

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[zzoguri]

serene (it’s what i hope for me) ➵ eric sohn

non-idol!eric sohn x reader

you should’ve known that eric wouldn’t be the one.

genre/warnings ➵ angst no happy ending, exes au, gender neutral reader, unedited, lowercase intended, shift between past and present to represent waves (hence the italics), the chilling realization of your suspicions always being right

word count ➵ 845 words

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @mosviqu @vernyangel @stealanity @deobi0412 @blue-rainydays @maessseongs

playlist ➵ california and me by laufey // you missed my heart by phoebe bridgers

a/n ➵ on my period and in my eric feelings :’) inspired by “california and me” by laufey. please listen to it! it genuinely resembles the feeling of ocean waves, hence the constant shift between past and present :3 and no, the ocean waves pics have no relation to this fic i just love ghibli aesthetics for the banner. i hope you all like this drabble! don’t forget to reblog and leave feedback!

it’s not summer where you are, but you stand where the season lives; sand in between toes, sea meets the shore. you bask in the sunlight as you look at the expanse of blue while the breeze comes and goes.

it’s serene here, beautiful—but it’s lonely; not a single sight of another person here to appreciate where summer continues to live amidst all seasons.

“i’m sorry.” those are the words that first leave eric’s mouth once you two arrive at the han river, the first words to confirm your suspicions of tonight.

you hold your breath. “w—what?”

“i know, i—”

“did i do something wrong?” your glossy eyes shine like stars under the moonlight; you almost hope they’re enough for eric to take those words back.

“no, no!” he attempts to reassure you but they’re meaningless after what he told you. “it’s not your fault. nothing is your fault.”

seagulls flap their wings, croaking out sounds of their whereabouts, finding their flock they may have been separated from. as you hear a similar sound in the distance, you watch the flock rush off.

the ocean runs to kiss the land every time it has to go, regardless of how long the two are kept away from each other. the deep blue rushes to bathe the pale cream, reassuring they will always return.

and while the beach is heaven on earth, you grow bitter. surrounded by instances of one coming back—choosing to reunite with the other—you wonder if that’ll ever happen to you.

“i—i could call you every night, or morning! maybe i can—”

“y/n, no,” he cuts you off. “we talked about this before, remember? we can’t do long distance, we’ve always hated it.”

your lips tremble. “you don’t even want to try?”

silence settles between you two.

“i would try to make it work for us, but you wouldn’t?”

a sigh leaves him. his hand reaches to rub his temple. “but it wouldn’t be fair to us.”

your phone rings. you look at it to see your best friend calling, so you answer it, putting it against your ear.

“y/n, i have to tell you something.”

a chuckle leaves you. “i know.”

“huh? but how? he only posted that picture an hour ago,” chanhee points out. “do you still follow his instagram?”

you only hum in disagreement.

“did you check his profile again?”

as you look down at your feet that’s consumed by the sand, a sigh leaves you.

“i thought we agreed to not look at his socials anymore! do we need to talk—”

“no, chanhee,” you cut him off. “i didn’t look at any of his accounts.”

“then how do you know? you knew exactly what i was referring to. how?”

you close your eyes, letting the heat of the sun and the coolness of the breeze consume you whole. “i just know.”

you look away from eric, allowing your eyes to take in the sight of the river stream continuously flow as it reflects the luminescence of korea—city lights and stars all together.

such a beautiful sight, but such a shame that it’s been soiled by his words.

“you’re right,” you find yourself saying. “we’ve talked about it before, we could never survive in a long distance relationship.”

you look back at eric. his go-to smile and the sparks in his eyes—all vanished in one night.

“i just wish we could.”

“i know. i do, too.”

your eyes peel open, greeted by the sight of the serene once more. you wish it could stay like this—tranquil, lasting.

“i hope you’re okay,” chanhee says on the other line. “i’m sorry that this is happening.”

you bite the inside of your cheek. “it’s okay, i’ll be okay.” it sounds convincing to you but not to your best friend. “i’ll call you later, okay?”

he hums for a moment. “okay, i’m here for you.”

you drop the call. you stare at your home screen for a moment until you decide to open up instagram.

you shouldn’t be doing this, especially after chanhee’s reminder, but your best friend's words have cracked the dam that held the water from pouring out.

you type his user like a password—discreetly, one you still know by heart.

in a matter of seconds, you see his profile pop up as a top suggestion. your thumb hovers over it, unsure if you should proceed or save yourself from reality. but you remember that it won’t change anything—nothing will change if you decide to look or not.

so you click on his profile, and your eyes land on the most recent post. from the preview in his profile grid, you already know that you were right. a bitter smile settles on your lips.

you shut your phone close and shove it into your pocket. your eyes land back to the ocean, glossy once more like that one night. it’s still a beautiful sight, but it’s a shame that it’s been soiled by one post.

in the same way the waves come and go, he always goes back to her.

[sanaxo-o]

Be the one (Eric Sohn)

To @deobienthusiast K, from Sana: Hihi K :) I know that we don’t talk much (which is a shame because I think your company would be a great addition to my lonely life) but I really had so much fun writing this for you. Despite not being able to write for Sangyeon and Juyeon (I was thinking about making three different fics but *sigh* time is a bitch). I hope we get closer in the future and that you enjoy this small silly fic I wrote for one and only, Eric Sohn hehe.

Warnings: kissing, drinking, cheating, in a scene Juyeon jokingly implies that readers a bad person, um mentions of balls (don’t ask, just read), reader and Eric act stupid (way to much), mentions of peeing and all (plz don’t judge me yall 😭), PG 13 jokes (yes), reader jokingly says that she is in a relationship with a old man, mentions of doing excessive amount of drinking and drugs, few scenes inspired by TV show Gilmore Girls and a classic movie 10 Things I hate about you, some of it is inspired by Sabrina Carpenters song Santa doesn’t know you like I do.

Genre/trope: angst, fluff, friends to lovers, slow burn, hurt/comfort

Taglist: @cloverdaisies @kimsohn @mosviqu @from-izzy @mars101 @stealanity @deoboyznet

Sana: this actually took everything in me to write 😭. Like I have never in my life ever written slow burn so this was definitely a challenge! A big thanks to @mosviqu @from-izzy (especially izzy for giving me all those correct punctuations and all 😭) and @o-onikix for beta reading this huge ass thing of mine 😭 (also to my irl friend for reading bits and pieces and giving me the confidence)

Word count: 13,785

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“Are you coming to the Christmas party?” You hear Soyeon ask you. Stopping in your tracks in the middle of the hallway, you turn around to face her again as you give out a small sigh at her repetitive question. The answer was going to be the same either way so you don’t understand why she is so persistent on getting you to come to the Christmas party.

“No, I don’t think I am coming to the Christmas party thanks for asking tho.” You say as you give out a small annoyed smile before you continued walking to your next class with Soyeon tailing behind you.

“But why? It’s the last party you will get!” She says once she catches up with you.

“There’s…there’s prom?” You say with your lips pressed in a straight line. Dropping by your locker you pick up a few extra books you needed for the next class.

“Which you will never attend! Come on, it’s gonna be so fun at the party.” She says with a pout resting upon her lips as she shakes your arms back and forth trying to convince you.

“Parties are not my thing. You know it and it’s like any other typical party I have attended in the past. There would be loud music, then of course, alcohol which was sneaked in by others and in every other corner would be people making out. On top of that, no one has asked me out yet.” You tell her before you push her away gently and close your locker with a thud.

“No one is asking you because they’re scared you will reject them like every time.” You hear Soyeon mumble with the small pout still resting upon her lips as she played with her sleeves trying to gain your sympathy which she was miserably failing at.

“Even if I do come I won’t enjoy it.” You point out as a matter of fact.

“What about Eric? He can ask you out!” She suggests totally ignoring the fact that you just said that you won’t enjoy the party either way. But you let out a snort when you register the fact that she just said that Eric could ask you out. At this point it was a normal thing for her, in every other conversation she would always manage to bring up Eric.

She thinks Eric is the perfect boyfriend anyone could ever ask for and from her point of view she says that Eric is totally smitten for you which is most definitely not true because after all you both are just really close friends.

Despite the sweet names he calls you by, holding your hand when it’s cold to warm you up, buying food for you as his treat, the occasional sleepovers at his place on every Friday as you both cuddled together on the same bed and of course the way he’s always looking after you no matter what.

You still remember the day when you had fallen sick and Eric by all means tried his best to manage everything on his own. From taking care of you to helping you complete your notes despite being from different majors.

“Eric? He’s just a friend, nothing more, nothing less.” Saying that you start walking away.

“I beg to differ, every other person thinks that you and Eric are dating!” Soyeon says with a whisper.

“I don’t care what every other person thinks and that’s not even true, I mean yeah I used to have a thing for Eric in the past but I am over it. He already likes someone else I guess…” you say, your voice coming out small.

Giving you a look Soyeon looks at you with a knowing look “Are you sure about that?” She says before stifling a laugh when she sees the glare you throw her way.

“Yes I am sure about that and as I said before Eric already likes some else..” you say with a slight groan at the end.

“What are you talking about? Eric and Yuna broke up months ago and not to say you’re still single. It’s a perfect opportunity!!” Soyeon says with an excited smile now playing upon her lips.

“Nah, Eric and me are better off as friends I’d say.” Saying that you walk away from Soyeon and enter your class.

Taking a seat at the very end of the class, you place your bag and books on the table before you get your headphones out.

Looking out the window you looked at the calm stretched morning, it was like any other day you would have. The professor was blabbing away about something you did not care enough to pay attention to.

You would catch up on it later on anyways but the morning was ruined when the door slammed open and one of your peers, Sunwoo walked in with rage.

Standing right in front of you he leaned down to speak with you, “How could you leave me yesterday night? After the amazing night we had you just storm out in the morning just like that with no other thought in mind?? How could you Y/N!?” Sunwoo screamed loudly as he continued, “I thought we were heading som-” Another uninvited yell cut him off. getting cut off Sunwoo was interrupted with another yell.

“What the hell man? How could you just barge in like that? I told you, Y/N is with me now.” You see Eric say as he approaches you and Sunwoo.

“You stay out of this Eric!” Sunwoo yells at him.

“Why? Just because you cannot have her why blame it on me?”

“You asked for it you little shit!” Sunwoo yells at Eric as he pounces on top of him.

Looking around the room you see everyone whisper things while watching the fight unfold in front of them, and if that was not enough in came Juyeon with a security guard outfit on as he blew the whistle to stop the two of them from fighting.

“All right that’s enough you two!” Juyeon yells as he goes over to both of them and picks them up by their collar before he turns around and looks at you while still having a hold of them. “Y/N you should be ashamed of yourself for toying with boys like this! They used to have pride, they used to have dignity and most of all they used to have balls!” Juyeon yells as he starts dragging both of them to the door before stopping midway “Damn it Y/N, give them back their balls!” Saying the last line all three of them exited the class before laughter began to erupt everywhere.

Looking around you slide down against the chair trying to hide yourself. You knew being friends with them meant having some crazy experiences but never did you ever think that they would do something like this.

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Sitting in the cafeteria with Soyeon, you listened to her babble about something that happened in her class before she stopped talking when Eric approached your table with Sunwoo and Juyeon by his side.

You just observed him take a seat beside you before he grabbed a French fry from your plate. Sighing you just pushed the bowl towards him, suddenly having no appetite.

“I hated the stunt you pulled in the class today. Like no I do not have your balls. Just because you’re the son of a rich man does not mean you do this.” You say with a solemn voice as you drink your cup of coffee.

“Seriously Y/N? Having coffee at lunchtime?” Eric asked with a deadpan expression as he looked at you with confusion totally ignoring about the fact that you were mad at him.

“No, don’t change the subject. I am still talking. I mean who in the right mind would do something like this? It's so humi-” Before you could finish your whole sentence your mouth was stuffed with a bunch of fries in your mouth. Chewing onto them you glared at Eric before you looked away from him.

“Okay, I am sorry I did that. How about I make up for pulling this stunt which was in your language very much absurd and humiliating?” You hear Eric ask you. Stopping yourself from taking any more sips of your now almost empty cup of coffee you gave him a look of suspicion, not believing him yet.

“And how will you do that?” You say with suspicion evident in your voice, you did not even try to hide it.

“I know about a carnival which is happening in my area. How about I take you there? Good enough?” Eric asks with his hand out for a handshake.

“You pay for everything and buy me a soft toy?” You ask with hesitation before you grab his hand and shake it to seal the deal.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart. So I’ll meet you at your place at 4?” He asks before standing up from the bench. Nodding your head you give him a small smile as you wave him goodbye.

“Looks like a date,” you hear Soyeon say once Eric leaves the cafeteria with Sunwoo and Juyeon. Throwing a glare at her you stand and gather your things getting ready to leave for your next class.

“It’s not a date, he’s just making up to me for the stunt he pulled on me today in my class which was by the-”

“Very humiliating and embarrassing. Gee, you said that already Y/N. Say whatever you want but I totally see you two dating in the near future.” She says with an irritatingly knowing voice as she blows a kiss towards your way before she watches your figure walking away.

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Standing outside your house you look at your watch in impatience, it was 4:02 and there was still no sight of Eric. Rather than being mad at him for being late you were rather more concerned about him, what if something happened to him on the way here? Is he alright or what if he had hurt himself really bad leading to him being late?

Your train of thoughts came to a stop when you saw Eric’s car pull up at your driveway. Heaving out a sigh of relief you walk towards his car and take a seat in the passenger seat.

“Why are you so late?” You ask him once you put on your seatbelt and sit comfortably on the seat.

“Only two minutes sweetheart, why so worked up?” Eric says with a chuckle as he gives your head a soft pat with a teasing smile playing on his lips.

“I was worried about you. What if something would have happened to you while coming here? How would I know? You did not even give me a call. Why were you even late?” You ask him again with a frown evident on your lips and your eyebrows raised up in a tense manner.

“Aww, you were worried about me, sweetheart?” He says in a sing-song voice as he starts the car.

“No, I was not. I was worried about the fact that you got in an accident before you took me to the carnival.” You lied to him trying to cover up for yourself, you did not want him to get cocky about this again.

It did not take long for both of you before you reached the carnival. Stopping the car in the parking lot Eric parked the car safely without bumping into anything (which you were surprised at because a normal person would have gotten distracted by your constant yapping unlike Eric who paid attention to every single word you said yet managed to park the car safely).

Getting out of the car and locking it, Eric came and stood by your side as he subtly took a hold of your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours as he started walking towards the entrance without looking at your now red blushing face.

“Where do you want to go first, sweetheart?” You heard Eric ask which snapped you out of your train of thoughts. Looking around the carnival you saw the area for the prize stuffed animals.

Without any thoughts, you started dragging Eric towards the area ignoring his shoutings which were telling you to slow down.

Stopping at the game you looked at Eric before looking back at the stuffed animals, raising your hand you pointed at the animal you wanted “Can you win the penguin stuffed animal for me?” You ask him.

“Um…yeah sure, why not if that’s what you want sweetheart,” Eric says as he takes the arrows given by the worker and looks at the balloons intently.

He had five arrows and five chances to win the toy. To get it he would have to pop three balloons. Observing the balloons, Eric moved his hair out of his eyes as he threw the first dart.

—x—

“Eric, this is your third time. You really don’t have to go to this extent to get me the toy you know? Why don’t we just go to the Ferris wheel hmm?” You ask him tiredly as you shake his arms.

“Shhh I am trying to concentrate here. You know, as they say, third time’s a charm. If I don’t succeed this time, I will leave it okay?” He says as he starts to throw darts again.

And he did it. He did win you the penguin.

“Here, I told you I would get you this so I did. Do you like it sweetheart?” Eric says as he pats your head gently and softly grips your hand again before he starts walking towards a different area.

Nodding your head you stare at the stuffed toy in your hand lovingly and bring it close to your chest giddily as you hug it close to your body tightly “I love it so much! Thank you for winning this for me. I will always keep it close to me.” You exclaim happily.

“I am glad you like it,” Eric says with a sheepish smile spread across his face, glad that you were happy with the prize he won.

“You wanna try that?” You hear Eric’s voice beam with excitement. Looking up you follow his gaze and see the paintballs area. Giving Eric a knowing smile, both of you run towards the place with your hands still intertwined together tightly.

—x—

Looking around the place cautiously you look down at your bag of colour balloons again. Counting the remaining balloons you take a deep breath in when you realise you still have 10 left. That should do for now then.

Your train of thoughts were interrupted when you felt a cold balloon hit your neck. Snapping your head back you notice Eric standing behind you, a white jumper on which now had a bunch of different colours splashed onto it.

His hair was now messy as he held the dirty, balloon-filled bag in his one hand while his other hand had a balloon.

Looking around frantically you hide behind a huge pipe as you grab a balloon and wait for Eric to show up. Taking a peak you immediately throw the balloon in his direction which in return hits him on his stomach.

You saw Eric running towards your direction, picking your pace up,you started running away only to be caught by him in no time.

“Thought you could get away from me sweetheart?” Eric says as he splashes the balloon on top of your head which makes the paint fly everywhere.

“Okay okay, I am done. I don’t have any more left.” You declare with a defeated sigh. Once Eric lets you go, you take a peek at him only to see him look around the place. Taking that as a chance you grab the last balloon you had and hit it on his head which makes his hair dye the colour of the balloon.

Taking his shock manner as a chance you run away from the scene with laughter blaring through your throat and a content smile spread across your face.

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Sitting on the table placed by the food truck, you stabbed your fork into the pasta that Eric had bought for you. Having a big bite you looked around the place, admiring the lively atmosphere, the little happy giggles coming from the kids who were happily spending time with their families.

You later saw Eric walking towards your direction with a box of donuts in one hand while his other held a large iced cup of cold drink.

Reaching your table he placed both of the stuff on the table as he himself took a seat in front of you in exhaustion.

“Here, have some donuts and cold drinks. The line was so long like who the fuck drinks so much liquid at a carnival?” Eric says in annoyance

You look down at the big cup in your hand and then back at Eric as you slowly keep it back on the table “Well…us.” You tell him awkwardly before you grab the cup again and take a sip from it.

Eric stares at you for a moment before he looks at the cup filled with iced coke, “I mean, other than us, why would anyone want to drink liquid? What if they have to pee after drinking so much coke?” He pointed out as he raised his hand to point at a guy behind you who was peeing by the trees.

Looking away immediately, you glare at Eric in disgust and trauma.

“I did not need to see that thank you very much.” You say sarcastically as you take a bite from the donut which was in front of you. “But why would they pee after drinking coke?”

“Why won’t they? It’s liquid sweetheart. Everyone needs to pee after drinking liquids, be it water, alcohol or cold drinks.” He says as he grabs your donut and takes a bite out of it.

“Hey that’s mine! Grab another one.” You say with a scowl on your face as you throw a nasty glare towards Eric.

“But I bought it!” Eric argues back only to sigh in defeat once he realised that he cannot win against you. “Fine fine, you have it.” He says with a roll of his eyes jokingly before he speaks up again. “So do you have any plans for the Christmas break?” He asks before taking a sip of the cold drink.

“Oh, I am gonna be spending some time with my boyfriend!” You beam with happiness, a cheeky smile resting upon your cheeks.

“What…boyfriend?” He asks with confusion all over his face. I mean from what he can remember you had never mentioned anything to him about you finding a partner, so this was a sudden news for him.

“He’s a bit older, has grey hair and a beard, but rest assured he’s like super hot.” You tell him, a smile still playing upon your lips

“Are you serious right now or…?” Eric asks in concern as he places his hands on top of yours, stopping you from eating “Sweetheart please don’t tell me your boyfriends an old creep. Where is he even from?”

“He’s from a city which is colder than it’s here. He came here for his break to spend some time with me. Cute right?” You give Eric a small smile as you grab a donut and take a bite out of it ignoring the concerned glance Eric was throwing your way.

“Are you actually serious about this or you’re just joking with me and pulling my leg again? If you're, I am telling you, this is not a funny sweetheart.” Eric rambled on as his hold on your hands tightened in worry.

“Of course, I am not serious, but do you know who else is old and hot?” You ask him with peak interest as you lean closer to him trying to build up some suspense for him which you were clearly failing at when you saw Eric looking at you with confusion before he muttered out a small ‘what?’

“Santa.” you say with a straight face. You noticed Eric’s lips twitching upwards as he tried to stop himself from letting out a small smile at your silly response.

“Well thank god you were just joking about that old guy thing.” Eric says with relief washed all over his face as he leaned back on the chair with ease.

“But you have to agree, Santa is really hot and sexy. Like have you seen that beard and that thick figure he has? Like damn daddy, have some mercy on me please.” You say to Eric with a straight face, enjoying the reaction he was giving you.

Eric licked his dry lips as he stayed quiet. Not knowing what to say with your ridiculous statement and the unwanted information he just received about what you think about Santa.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, sweetheart.” Eric says as a small smile lingers on his lips. Man, was he smitten for you?

Yes, yes he was.

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Laying down on your bed you spent the night watching shows. Soyeon lays beside you as she used her phone paying no mind to the ridiculous comments you kept passing to her whenever a character did something insanely stupid or idiotic.

“Oh wait, you never told me how your date went with Eric?” Pausing the show you stared at Soyeon when she beamed at you with such a ridiculous question, a silly smile falling upon her face as she stared at you expectantly waiting for your response.

“What date?” You ask with boredom present in your voice as you stare at the wall, not having the courage to look at Soyeon in the eyes.

“You know! The date with Eric! The carnival!” She says now shaking your arm aggressively as she let out a small whine at your uncooperative ass.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about..” you say in a sing-song voice before you push her away as she dramatically falls off the bed onto the floor.

You heard a gasp leaving her lips, “My butt!” She exclaims.

From the corner of your eyes, you see Soyeon stand up before she grabs your laptop and closes it shut before you can even reply. Grabbing it, she placed it aside on the side table before she slammed her body down on you with force.

“Tell me about your date or else I am not getting up.” She says, her voice coming out muffled since her face was placed onto your shoulder.

“I did not go on a date with Eric first of all! He is just a friend and get off of me! You’re fucking heavy!” You cry out in pain, your voice coming out a bit heavy because of the force Soyeon was putting onto your body, tho half of it was acting she does not have to know about that now, does she?

“Okay okay, whatever you say! Just tell me how your night went with Eric!” Soyeon screams in frustration as she stands up from the floor and looks up at you.

“What do you mean by my night? That sounds so wrong…you make it sound like Eric and I banged together…” you say with a pout as you play with your sleeves acting as if you were shy.

“Well…did you?” She says with suspicion evident on her face and her tone as she squinted her eyes at you while leaning down with her hands on her hips.

“No!” You scream at her as you throw the nearest pillow you caught at her. Throwing a glare in her direction you stay quiet. “Now I don’t feel like telling you about my friendly date with Eric.” You tell her as you show her your tongue and look away from her, sulking.

Hearing you say that, Soyeon groans in frustration as she sits down beside you on the bed again. “Don’t be like this. Tell me please,” she pleads while batting her eyelashes to you, a way to gain your sympathy back.

Groaning at her behaviour you close your eyes with the palms of your hands as a way to protect yourself from the sight in front of you. “Fine! Just stop whatever the fuck that is. It’s making me nauseous geez.” You say with a whine.

Hearing you say that Soyeon immediately stops batting her eyelashes as she sits straight while clearing her throat, “Go on.”

“Well nothing much happened, he won a soft toy for me, played a few games-”

“What kind of games?” Soyeon interrupts you in excitement.

“Paint balls…”

“Aww you guys had a date which was in 10 things I hate about you! So cute!” Soyeon squeals. Looking at her in disbelief and disgust you sigh as you continue what you were saying.

“We then ate, chatted a bit and he dropped me of. That’s it.” You tell her what happened.

“That’s it? No kissing? No nothing?” She says with disappointment in her tone of voice.

“Why would that happen? Come on grow up. Mine and Eric’s love life is way different, and his and my type are also very much different. He likes girls who are much…how do I say it…calm?” You say with a question mark evident on your features.

Soyeon shakes her head in disappointment as she lays down on her back on the bed “When will you both understand about the feelings you guys hold for each other?” Soyeon says mostly to herself but you catch on to it but decide to say nothing on it.

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Sitting at the back of the class you sketch in your notebook as you don’t pay attention to what your classmates are talking about.

Sighing, you look up for a bit and notice Sangyeon entering the classroom, dropping down your pencil on the notebook you wait for Sangyeon to approach you.

Picking up your bag, you keep it aside and wait for Sangyeon to take a seat beside you.

“Hey, what are you doing?” You hear Sangyeon ask you once he reaches your place. Giving him a small smile you look down at your sketchbook and then back up at him

“Nothing, was just sketching. What are you doing here though?” You ask with expectant eyes.

It was not that common for Sangyeon to be in your classes. He was in a different major so it was very uncommon for both of you to cross each other’s paths unless you both met at a party or just in the cafeteria where your other friends would be.

“Are you free this Saturday? Some of us are going out after our afternoon classes. Maybe you could join us?” Sangyeon suggests as he looks into your eyes with expectation

“I don’t know…do we have to bring someone along with us?”

“It’s not necessary, if you want to you can. Eric is bringing this…Yuna girl with him to tag along. You can bring someone if you want. Maybe Soyeon?” Sangyeon gives you a suggestion.

You just stare at him blankly when you hear him say about Eric bringing Yuna with him. You thought they had broken up…but maybe not? It was all just a rumour then, huh?

But what about the time you both spent together that day at the carnival? Was it not a date? Wait of course not, you guys are just friends. That’s it, right? Right?

“He got back together with Yuna?” You question Sangyeon, your voice wavering a bit at the end.

You don’t know why you’re even upset when you hear Sangyeon say this. You should be happy right? Happy for Eric getting back in a relationship with his ex-girlfriend? Happy for his love life at least going somewhere? But you were not happy. Not even a bit.

It’s as if someone had punched you hard in the gut which caused you to stop breathing and you felt like you were gonna faint any moment.

“I…I don’t know. He just said something about him inviting Yuna. I was not paying that much attention. I am sorry but is there something wrong? You don’t look so well right now.” Sangyeon said with concern laced in his voice.

“I am fine, yeah I just…I just need some alone time. I should get going. See you around!” You tell him as you tuck your hair behind your ear and start packing up your stuff.

“Wait! Are you going to come with us on Saturday? You can decline if you don’t want to. It’s alright-” Before Sangyeon could finish his sentence you stopped in your tracks as you turned back around and took a deep breath in before speaking again.

“I will come on Saturday. Don’t worry!” Saying that you rushed out of the classroom to your dorm.

You needed to vent this feeling to someone and there was no other person who could help you other than Soyeon.

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Entering the dorm you looked around the living room for any signs of Soyeon. Calling out her name you heard her voice in the kitchen.

Running towards the kitchen you just stood in front of Soyeon with tear-filled eyes, “I think you were right, So” You say softly as you looked up at the ceiling trying your best not to let your tears flow.

“What are you talking about Y/N? What was I right about? I mean I am always right..” she said in a joking manner but stopped immediately when she saw your tear-stained cheeks.

“I think I do have feelings for my best friend after all…” you say your voice barely above a whisper but Soyeon heard it crystal clear.

“I would have said told you so but looking at your condition, I think I can postpone it.” She says as she walks towards you and holds you in her arms. “Now would you tell me why you’re crying over the fact that you actually do have feelings for Eric? Shouldn’t you be thinking about how to confess to him or something?” She says to you while rubbing your arms to create some kind of warmth and comfort.

“He is…he i…back with Yuna I guess…” you tell her softly as you bury your face in her neck trying to control your uncontrollable sobbing.

“What?? But didn’t he break up with her?” Soyeon asks in shock as she stops rubbing your arms and pulls away from you to take a look at your now red eyes and tear-stained face.

“Well I thought so too but Sangyeon said that he invited Yuna over to the place they’re going on Saturday and I don’t know what to do. What if I lose him? I don’t want that!” You say with panic filling your voice.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let that happen. You and Eric are destined to be together and I know that Yuna is not permanent...I guess. I mean I hope so.” She said as she chuckled nervously while scratching her nape.

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Entering the barbecue place, you immediately noticed your group of friends sitting by a table in a circle. Soyeon decided to tag along with you as she had nothing better to do, I mean better for you.

Reaching the table you noticed that Eric was sitting beside Yuna as they both chatted without even sharing anyone else a glance.

“Oh Y/N! Great, you're here!” You heard Sangyeon beam making you divert your attention to him as you gave him a small smile and took a seat beside him as Soyeon sat beside Sunwoo.

“Yeah me and Soyeon had nothing else to do so thought why not just join you guys.” You say with a small chuckle.

“I am glad. Would you like a drink?” Sangyeon asks as he leans forward to grab a bottle of beer only to be stopped by you.

“No no, it’s okay. I don’t really drink much.” You tell him as you grab his hand so that he doesn’t get the bottle of beer.

“Well if you say so,” Sangyeon says as he pulls back and gets more comfortable beside you.

—x—

The night was still young. Most of the guys were drunk as they sang some songs the whole time while eating.

The whole time you tried your best to not steal glances at Eric but whenever you did, you always saw him chatting with Yuna, and every time you saw that you felt your heart ache in pain. You desired to be there instead of her but that’s not gonna happen, you both are just friends after all.

Looking around the restaurant you started to have trouble breathing. As if you were getting suffocated in there. The place was getting too stuffed for you.

Standing up you excuse yourself from the group as you walk away once you grab your bag and phone.

In the rush of getting yourself out of the place, you failed to notice the pair of eyes which followed your every moment, till he himself stood up and decided to follow you out.

—x—

Sitting down on the footpath with your heels in your hands you stared down at the ground with no thoughts in your mind.

Placing your heels down on the ground, you bring your arms up to cover and warm yourself up by the cold. You were already heartbroken, you wouldn’t want to catch a cold on top of that too knowing he wouldn’t be there to look after you since he is now a taken man.

“Hey,” you hear a voice say behind you. Already knowing that it is none other than Eric you don’t bother enough to look back up at him as you just continue staring ahead of you with no particular thought in mind.

You noticed him take a seat beside you on the footpath by your peripheral vision, you did not even bother enough to say anything back.

“Why are you out here alone? You might catch a cold sweetheart..” Eric says softly before he removes his jacket and places it on top of your shoulders.

Shrugging the jacket off you give it back to him without looking him in the eye. “You don’t have to do this anymore. People might get a wrong idea or something since you’re now back together with Yuna.” You mutter under your breath as you place the jacket on his lap.

“Why are you acting so cold towards me out of nowhere sweetheart?” Eric whispers softly as he tries to hold onto your cold hand only to get pushed away by you.

“Do you not get it? Eric…you’re now back together with Yuna! You cannot act like this with me now. People will think you’re cheating on her or something and I don’t want to be the other woman in a relationship.” You tell him what you had in mind as you take in a deep breath trying not to lash out at him and say something you don’t want to.

“Sweetheart, what me and Yuna have is totally temporary. I like our relationship, I like the fact that you’re my best friend.” You close your eyes in pain when you hear him say that you’re just his best friend. Exactly, nothing more nothing less. Those were also the words you said to Soyeon so why do you loathe these words now? It’s not like the meaning has changed or anything but your feelings surely did.

“That’s the thing Eric, I…” you inhale a deep breath in as you stop yourself from saying what you have been meaning to say. Yes, you liked Eric but ruining your friendship with him just for that is not worth it. Because even if you do get into a relationship with him, which is nearly impossible, what if you both break up? Your friendship and your relationship would be ruined forever.

“Sweetheart, please tell me. Don’t keep your feelings bottled up.” Eric says as he leans forward towards you and brings your body closer to his warmer one as he held your shoulders in a tight grip while giving your forehead light kisses to calm you down.

Just being in his arms at that moment made you break down in front of him. Your eyes immediately turned red, your nose turning a shade of pink as your cheeks started to get stained with your tears.

You saw Eric raising his other hand as he gently wiped your tears away, “Just tell me when you’re ready. I am always here for you.” Eric says softly

Taking a deep breath in you collect yourself together as you lean away from his warm embrace, you immediately feel the cold envelop you making your hands shake from the cold.

“Eric I…I like you. I never thought that I would ever have feelings for you in this way but the more time we spend together, the more my feelings grew. I always denied this feeling whenever Soyeon said anything but when I heard Sangyeon tell me that you’re back together with Yuna…I just felt my stomach drop. I felt hurt all over, I could not breathe properly because that was the time I realised that…that maybe I like you more than a friend. Now I know that we would never get together because of our differences but I just feel like you needed to know about this since well you’re my best friend and I tell you everything. I totally understand if you need some time away from me since this might have been a shock for you but please, don’t break up our friendship.” You say everything you ever wanted to let Eric know. You knew that this was probably a bad decision but you just had to let him know. “I should go now…see you around?”

You were about to get up when you felt a hand grip your wrist stopping you from getting up. Looking down at your wrist you noticed Eric holding onto it.

“Do you really like me?” He says as he leans closer towards you, his hand still gripping your wrist. Nodding a bit, you notice him lean even more closer as he leaves your hand and grabs a hold of your cheeks.

Both of his hands cradles your cheeks as he holds them delicately, staring deep into your eyes his gaze moves down towards your lips before he looks back up at you.

Placing your hand on his chest, you stop him before he manages to kiss you, “You cannot do this. You’re in a relationship with Yuna, it’s…it’s wrong.”

Groaning at your answer Eric goes back to his original place not having the energy to argue at what you said because no matter what, he was not a man who would cheat on a woman to be with another.

He was gonna kiss you because he was not in the right state of mind, right? Not because he might also be having feelings for you? No, he wouldn’t, if he did he would not have been in a relationship with Yuna.

“Oh Y/N! Great, you're here…with Eric?” You hear a voice say behind you. Looking back you notice Sangyeon coming out with a drunk Soyeon leaning on his shoulders.

Giving him a small wave you stand up from the footpath and walk towards him before getting a hold of Soyeon. “Yeah. I was just about to leave, I can take Soyeon back home. You can go back in and enjoy.” You tell him as you give him a soft smile.

“No, let me drop you off. Soyeon is already drunk so I will just drive you back to your dorm. I have my car with me.” Sangyeon says before he starts walking away with Soyeon still in his hold only to stop midway and turn back around to look at Eric. “You might want to go in and check up on your girlfriend Eric. She’s drunk and trying to kiss Sunwoo…” Sangyeon tells Eric with slight disappointment laced in his tone.

Giving Sangyeon a small nod, Eric looks at you with a longing gaze as he watches you walk away with Sangyeon and Soyeon.

Heading back towards the restaurant he opens the door and sighs tiredly when he sees Yuna babbling some incoherent words because of how drunk she is.

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Sitting by the kitchen counter you stare at Soyeon as she drinks the coffee you made for her.

“I am having such a bad headache…” she mumbles as she takes the last sip of the coffee and places the cup down on the table before she diverts her attention to you.

“So…are you gonna tell me about what happened yesterday or?” You breathe out a sigh as you place your head on your palms in agony.

“I confessed to Eric…” you tell her the truth. You could hear her let out a small gasp in surprise as she stood up from her seat and sat down beside you.

“What did he say?” She asks with her hands on your shoulder before she forcefully makes you face her.

“Nothing…but I think he was gonna kiss me if I had not stopped him..” you say with a frown resting upon your lips before you shrug off her hands and gaze at the floor.

“He what??!” Soyeon screams in shock, “You know what Y/N? I cannot look at you being heartbroken like this anymore. Why don’t you go on a date? Maybe that would make you feel better.” Soyeon says as a suggestions

“But I don’t think it would be fair for the other person knowing I still have feelings for someone else…” you tell her.

“It’s just one date. If you don’t like him you don’t have to go again and it’s not a big deal. He’s a friend of my friend so it won’t affect anyone. What do you say?” She asks as she stands up from her place and grabs her phone to make a few quick phone calls.

“If you say so…”

“Well, it’s done then! I will inform my friend to let her friend know about this.” Soyeon tells you with a smile resting on her lips. Returning the smile you look away from her and stare out the window with thoughts flooding your mind.

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Sitting alone in the bar you looked around in discomfort. Maybe coming to a bar alone with a man you just met today really was a bad idea? I mean...you did not know him personally except for the fact that Soyeon was a friend of his friend.

Agreeing to come to this date really made you fall back into this slump you were in. Because your love life was so bad that you had to go to this extent, meet up with a guy you barely knew, only for him to turn out to be this crazy person.

I mean, no one would want to be cramped in a car with 5 men they never met only to smell all the weed and cigarettes they were smoking on your face as they leaned onto you with no care in the world. This would barely even be considered as a date. Because who in their right mind does this on their first date? Does this person even know that this was a date?

Being lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice the now-approaching man, the man Soyeon thought would be good enough for now. I mean you cannot blame her completely because she did not know how he was.

Her friend told her that he was a good guy so Soyeon thought it was a perfect opportunity to match you up with him. Oh boy, Soyeon was gonna have it from you once you reach back home.

“We’re planning on going to the pool which is nearby. Come on, let’s go.” You felt startled when you heard him say that. Because no way in hell would you want to go to some random pool with a bunch of strangers who were high and drunk. You were sooo dreading this night you were in.

“I think I will pass on that. I will just leave now but thanks for the offer, Jonah.” You say with a slight smile as you start gathering your stuff, which is not much considering you only had your sling bag and phone with you.

“Oh let me drop you off…” he did not get to finish his sentence as he trailed off once his attention went back to his group of friends who did not seem to have a sense of reality whatsoever.

“It’s okay. It looks like your friends need you more than me. I will be fine.” You reassure him as you watch him walk out of the bar with his friends without looking back.

Sighing you open your wallet to pay for the beverage you bought for yourself.

“Fuck…,” Standing up from your seat you approach the nearest waitress you say, “Hi, could you tell me where the nearest ATM is?” You ask nervously.

“Oh, it’s a few blocks down, but I wouldn’t recommend walking there alone at night in this area. Many crazy stories about this place you know?” She says that as she walks away with a tray of drinks in her hand.

Sighing deeply, you slump down on your seat again as you stare at the contacts on your phone.

You most definitely did not want to call him knowing he was with his dear, bitchy girlfriend. But you had no option. It’s not like you want to risk your life going out in search of an ATM to take out some money. You had enough adventure today as it was.

You hated yourself for only thinking about him the whole time, the fact that he was the first person to come to your mind when you got yourself in this situation.

Biting on your nails, you nervously clicked on his contact name before putting your phone close to your ear, waiting for him to pick up as you looked around the bar once more.

“Hi, Eric. It's me…are you free right now?” You ask nervously. You tried paying attention to his background noises. So far, you could not hear a sound. The good thing was that you did not hear his annoying girlfriend's voice which made you feel somewhat better.

“Yes, yes I am. Are you in trouble or something?” He replied as you heard some shuffling noises coming from the background as if he was in a hurry.

“Yes, I am stuck in this bar and I have no cash with me and these people don’t accept credit cards and you were the first person who came in my mind to contact. I am so sorry if I am disturbing you.” You kept on rambling on as you felt as if you were a burden to him. I mean…you should be able to take care of yourself, but instead, you were asking your best friend to come pick you up from this unknown place you were stuck in.

And knowing what you two almost did yesterday made this situation all the more awkward for you.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. Just send me your location, I am already in the car.” You heard Eric say. Ending the call you send him your location as you look around the bar while hugging your body.

—x—

“Eric!” You call out his name once you see him enter the bar.

“Hey, oh god thank god you’re okay. So what happened? What are you doing here?” He asks as he sits down in front of you.

“I feel so stupid, so Soyeon had this friend who knew this guy I was on a somewhat date with. From what Soyeon said the guy was in diapers or something.”

“The boy was in diapers?” Eric asks questionably as he looks at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“No, Soyeon said her friend knew him when he was in diapers but that’s not the point. I thought this date might go well, I might get myself a potential boyfriend, but no! The boy turned out to be a maniac. He was drinking, and smoking and god I hope he did not do drugs and that’s when I realised, that these are the last people I want to spend my last moments on Earth with. Like no what if I die in a car crash with them? I don’t want that and did I tell you how stupid I felt? Because I thought it was going to be a nice date but it turns out he had brought his friends with him and then oh god…” you sigh in frustration as you lay your head on your arms, tired from the events. “And I did not even eat anything since breakfast and I am starving but I have no money. How pathetic can I be?” You say to yourself while you stomp your foot on the ground in agony.

“Uh, I have money. I can pay for the meal, what do you want?” Eric asks softly as he asks for the menu to the waitress passing by.

“Do you want this to go on the tab?” She asks while handing out the menu to Eric. Looking at her in confusion, Eric stares back at you thinking you would know what she was talking about. “Oh, the card is still open. You can still order.” She says with a smile.

Giving Eric a look you look down at the menu. “Put your wallet away. Would you like to start with starters??” You ask Eric as you already start pointing out the dishes you want to have.

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“Whoa, I am full after having all of that.” You announce once both of you are seated in the car. Putting on your seatbelt you stare out the window.

“So um should I drop you off at your dorm?” Eric asks once he starts the car.

Looking back at him, you give him a nod. You knew he wanted to talk about that day again but you also knew about the fact that if he does bring it up, there is a huge possibility that you would have a breakdown.

The whole car ride there was silence. Both of you did not speak a single word to each other. To make the situation less awkward Eric did play the songs on the radio on low volume.

Reaching your dorm, you undo your seatbelt as you stare ahead of you not knowing what to say anymore.

“So um see you around I guess?” You hear Eric says as he breaks the awkward silence. Looking at him, you nod your head as you put your hand on the car door to unlock it only to get stopped in the middle.

“Wait, Y/N! I need to let you know something…” Eric speaks up before you could even leave the car.

You could feel him grab onto your hand as he made you sit back down on the seat.

“I hope you know that I do like you. I know that I said I only look at you as my best friend but…but maybe I feel something more than that? I am still trying to understand my feelings for you completely but please don’t shut me out like this. I don’t think I can ever go on with my life without you.” Eric says as he leans forward towards you and gently places his hand on your cheeks before he looks into your eyes.

“Please don’t leave me like this, sweetheart.” Eric whispers softly. Your gaze unknowingly travels to his lips as you bring your lips closer to his.

Softly placing your lips onto his you start moving them in sync with each other, his chapped lips on your soft ones felt like a perfect pair to you.

Bringing your hands up to his chest you deepen the kiss more, moving your lips in sync you could feel his hands roaming all over your body.

Entangling your hands with his hair you pull on them a bit making Eric open his mouth which gave you an access to enter your tongue in.

You could feel both of your tongue’s fighting each other when you suddenly snapped out of it and pushed Eric away from you.

From the corner of your eyes, you could feel Eric look at you with a hurt gaze but before he could even speak up you had already opened the car door and stepped out of it, “See you around!” You say that in a hurry as you close the door with a small thud and walk away from there to your dorm.

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Closing the main door you slide down with your back against it. Bringing your hand up to your chest you hold it as you take in a few deep breaths.

“Y/N! Are you home?” You heard Soyeon shout from the living room. Not giving her an answer back you just stay on the floor not knowing what to do anymore.

You did not know why you did whatever you did back there. I mean kissing a taken man? That’s not good. Then making out with him? That’s worse.

“Oh god! Y/N! What happened??” You hear Soyeon shout in distress as runs towards you before sitting herself down on the floor with you.

“Did something happen at the date? Oh god, I am so sorry. I should have asked my friend more about that guy before setting you up. Did he turn out to be a total creep and a jerk?” Soyeon rambles off before she helps you take off your coat while you were still on the floor.

“I kissed him..” you tell her with your eyes staring at the wall which was in front of you, “I kissed him Soyeon and he’s…he’s taken. I am horrible…” you say with your voice wavering at the end.

You could feel the tears sliding down your cheeks which you did not bother enough to wipe.

“You kissed Jonah? Why?” Soyeon says in confusion as she takes a seat beside you before bringing her legs close to her chest as she rests her head on her knees and stares at you.

Slowly bringing her hand up she pulls your head towards her as she gently places it on her shoulder.

“I kissed Eric…” you say softly.

“What…but isn’t he?” Soyeon did not bother enough to complete her sentence.

“Exactly! I am so horrible. I cannot believe I let my feelings get the best of me. He practically cheated on Yuna with me…” you say with a crack in your voice. Sniffling, you look at Soyeon with sadness feeling your eyes. “Please don’t leave me just for this. I promise I am not a horrible person.” You cry out before your sobs grew harsher with each second.

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Sitting in the cafeteria alone you kept on playing with your food. It had been days since your last encounter with Eric.

He had not been coming to school ever since you guys kissed in his car, some part of you was glad that he did not attend the school because then that meant you wouldn’t have to face him but the other part of you was rather more worried about him.

All those what if’s returning to your mind, is he hurt, is he sick, did he wrap himself up in some kind of trouble? But your questions were left unanswered.

Sighing, you grab your bag as you start walking away from the cafeteria to the place where Eric’s best friend would most certainly be at.

You had to know if Eric was alright, all you needed to hear from them was that ‘Yes Y/N, Eric is alright. You don’t have to worry too much.’ That would at least make you worry less and not stress over anything.

Reaching the back of the school you see Juyeon and Sunwoo talking with each other as they played some video games on their phone.

Walking towards them, you stand in front of them grabbing their attention “Oh hey Y/N, what makes you come here?” Juyeon asks with his eyes still glued to the screen.

“Nothing, I just wanted to know something. That’s all. Could you stop playing for a moment and pay attention?” You ask both of them, now getting annoyed at their behaviour and lack of attention.

Pausing the game Juyeon and Sunwoo look up at you with a confused face, “What’s up?” Sunwoo says awkwardly. Not knowing how to react to your sudden appearance

“Do you know where Eric is?” You ask them the question straight away. Not having the energy to beat around the bush anymore.

“Ah, did you not call him?” Juyeon says as if it was a normal thing for you. I mean normally it was, but not after you kissed your best friend and then walked away when you got back to your senses knowing that he is taken.

“If I would have called him I wouldn’t have been here now, would I Juyeon?” You say sarcastically as you flick his forehead in irritation and also because of how stupid his question was.

“Ow sorry and to answer your question Eric caught a…a cold a few days back so he was taking a break?” Juyeon says to you. From the way he was talking, it felt as if he himself did not know what he just said.

Looking back at Sunwoo you throw a glare in his direction when you notice him laughing at Juyeon. Seeing you look at him like that he immediately stopped laughing as he looked down at the ground too scared to look you in the eyes.

“Fine then, if that’s what you say so.” Saying that to them you walk away from the place with numerous thoughts floating in your mind.

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The next day when you entered the school hallway with Soyeon by your side, your eyes moved all over the place in search of Eric.

Walking towards your locker with Soyeon you noticed Eric standing by the class door with Juyeon, talking with him.

Handing all your books to Soyeon, you took big steps towards Eric, “Eric! Wait!” You shouted out his name only to get no response in return.

What you did not expect was for him to walk right past you without sparing you a glance. Stopping dead in your tracks you move your body around and stare at Eric’s figure walking away.

You noticed Juyeon turning his head back and looking at you with sympathy as he mouthed out a ‘sorry’ on behalf of Eric you suppose.

Giving him a small nod and a wave, you go towards Soyeon again as you take your books back from her hands, “Let’s go?” You say quietly as you start walking away from the place without letting her speak anything any further.

“I am sorry…” Soyeon says to you softly as he interlocks her hands with yours as she starts walking with you.

Giving her a smile you look down at the ground not knowing what to do anymore.

You knew you messed up when you initiated the kiss first. But did Eric really have to ignore you like that?

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It had been a few days since you last saw Eric again, he has been really irregular at school so confronting him face-to-face was not an option.

You tried everything, you called him, texted him, hell you even went over to his house but there was no answer.

The more time passes, the more worried you’re getting. Is he avoiding you on purpose? Is all of this happening just because of you? All you wanted to do at this point was make everything right but you could not do that. Not with the way Eric was treating you.

Is he now avoiding you on purpose? There were so many thoughts in your mind, so many questions but they remained unanswered.

Groaning in frustration you grab your coat and storm out of the house to go over at Juyeon’s. You were gonna get answers from him today, if he does not give you a proper answer you won’t let him off the hook and that’s for sure.

—x—

Stopping your car in front of his house, you stare at his front door with hesitation filling your body. Should you really be doing this? What if you’re crossing the boundary by doing this? Is this too much? Probably not right? I mean Eric did not break off your friendship with him just yet.

Stepping out of the car you lock it as you take slow, hesitant steps towards Juyeon’s house.

Ringing the doorbell, you wait for him to open the door. Okay, there’s still some time. You can just turn around and leave the place right now. That way you won’t have to confront him about Eric again.

Getting ready to turn around you were stopped by a voice calling out your name, “Y/N! Surprised to see you here…what brings you here tho?” You hear Juyeon ask with surprise laced in his tone of voice.

Looking at him with an awkward smile plastered on your face, you lick your lips thinking of the right words to say to him.

“May I come in first?” You say nervously as you shift your weight from one foot to another.

“Yeah sure, you’re always welcome. Come in…” Juyeon says as he steps aside for you to enter his house.

Removing your coat, Juyeon takes it from your hand and hangs it on the coat hanger as he leads you towards the living room.

“Want some hot chocolate? I was making some for myself…” Juyeon says as he walks towards the kitchen with you tailing behind him.

Taking a seat by the counter you shake your head as a no as you clear your throat, “I am here to speak with you about something that has been bugging me…” you tell him before you stare at his back.

You notice how he stopped pouring the hot chocolate into his cup before he turned around to give you his full attention, “Is this about Eric?” Juyeon asks slowly before he takes a seat in front of you.

Nodding your head you suck in a deep breath, “You see, I have been trying to reach him for days but he isn’t responding to any of my texts or calls. I even went over to his house but there was no answer. I know he is your closest friend and the fact that he shares everything with you so I probably know that you must be having an idea on why he is doing this. Please just tell me…” you say on the verge of tears.

“Y/N I don’t know if I have the right to tell you about what’s happening with Eric right now. Look, I know what you’re going through is really tough but…” juyeon stops talking when he sees the tears coming out of your eyes. “Y/N no…” Juyeon sighs softly as he stands up from his seat and pulls out a chair to sit down beside you.

“We’ve always shared everything, you know? And him just shutting me out like this suddenly pains me. I know I was at fault for kissing him but I regret it immensely right now because I certainly know that I might have ruined his relationship with Yuna. Look, all I want to do right now is just make things right with him. Just tell me where he is and I promise I won’t trouble you again.” You beg to him, sniffing you look at Juyeon with your red eyes and nose.

“If you say so. Eric’s at the hospital, his dad's been severely ill for the past few weeks which has led to him missing out on school and everything. Now I know that I told you this but don’t tell Eric. He did not want you to worry too much about him.” Juyeon says as he stands up and brings you a glass of water.

Getting a hold of the glass you take a few sips as you place the glass down on the counter again. “Thank you so much.” You say as you stand up from your chair, “Are you guys gonna plan something for his birthday tomorrow?” You ask him right before leaving.

Thinking for a bit Juyeon shakes his head as a no “He did not want us to do anything this time. He said he would be too busy tomorrow to even think about that.”

Nodding to his words you grab onto the door handle only to get stopped when Juyeon spoke again “Hey Y/N…”

Turning around you look at Juyeon with a slight frown on your face, “Yeah?”

“Please take care of yourself…” he says softly before giving your back a gentle pat.

Nodding to his words with a small smile on your face you open the door and walk towards your car, now somewhat feeling relieved.

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Standing in front of the hospital you look down at the cake which you had bought just for Eric. You knew that he would be busy looking after his father so the least you could do for now is buy him a cake so he can at least celebrate his birthday today.

Entering the hospital you go to the receptionist. “Hi, I am looking for Eric Sohn, his father was admitted recently.” You tell the woman sitting at the front.

You see her slide down her glasses as she stares at you for a minute or so before she starts flipping through the pages in front of her with no questions asked.

“Mr.Sohn is on the first floor, room number 111 and here’s your visiting ID. Do not lose it.” She says sternly before she goes back to doing her work.

Nodding at her words, you immediately scurry away from there.

Entering the elevator you press on the first floor button as you wait in silence. You did not know what to say to Eric once you met him.

You guys were never this awkward. Even when the first time you both met, the conversation with you both just flowed right.

Never did you ever think you would be in such an awkward position when it came to Eric and this just made you feel worse than you already were.

—x—

Reaching the floor you start walking towards the room Eric’s dad was in.

Standing in front of the door you stare at the scene in front of you through the glass window.

There stood Eric holding his dad's hand in his own hands as he spoke to himself. You could see that he was shaking, probably because of the cold or the fact that he was in fact crying.

Knocking on the door you wait for Eric to look up at you, once he did divert his attention in your direction you could feel yourself forgetting how to breathe when you saw his face.

He looked pale, probably a bit thinner than he used to. He most certainly lost a bit of weight which made you feel like you just hit rock bottom because why were you not with him when he needed someone by his side the most?

Taking a step back, you wait for Eric to collect himself together because obviously, this was a shock for him seeing you here in the flesh after not responding or talking with you for days.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing here?” Eric asks you once he comes out of the room after trying to make himself look presentable enough.

“It’s your birthday, so I brought you a cake.” You say with a smile playing upon your face as raise your hand up to show him the bag which had his favourite cake in it.

“Who told you about me being here?” Eric asks, his voice sounding serious yet it still held that gentleness in him that he always has when talking with you.

“That does not matter. What matters is that I am here for you right now. Please just…just celebrate your birthday with me?” You ask him softly as you walk backwards and sit on the seats which were placed outside. “Look I know you’re in a rough spot right now, but all I ask from you today is for you to spare a few minutes max to max and just celebrate your birthday. I promise I won’t ever trouble you again.” You say the last line with difficulty.

Sighing Eric walks towards you as he sits down beside you. Closing his eyes he makes a wish as he blows out the candles which you had lit for him.

Opening them up, Eric cuts the cake as he feeds you a piece of it.

—x—

Taking a stroll on the rooftop of the hospital, both of you talked with each other about what you have been missing out on.

You kept Eric updated on all the things that have been happening in school since he has been missing out a lot. You told him how Soyeon almost choked Sunwoo because of how annoying he was. In her defence, Sunwoo had no reason to keep on troubling her and in the end, Sunwoo did get what he deserved.

You also promised to keep him updated on all the classes he has been missing out on despite being from different majors, which Eric was immensely grateful for.

Stopping by the railings, you and Eric stared at the night sky, the moon which was now shining brightly as you looked for stars that were covered by the clouds.

“Y/N, I have been meaning to tell you this…” you hear Eric say with a serious voice. Turning your gaze to him you notice him looking at you with no expressions on his face.

“Look, I…I like you sweetheart. I really do. The time we spent apart these past few days, I understood my feelings towards you. But at the moment, I really don’t have the time to commit to a proper relationship yet. I don’t think I have it in me to be in a committed relationship and with everything going on, I don’t know if I can truly give you the proper attention you deserve. I know you like me, I like you too but…now’s not the right time. I don’t even know when my dad will be all better. Hell, I don’t even know if I can still come to school regularly. I am so sorry.” Eric says as a tear rolls down his pale cheek.

Wiping the lone teardrop, you give him a small broken smile as you immediately take a step back, too afraid you would do something you would regret later on.

“Well, at least you told me about this.” You say as you sniffle. Looking up at the dark sky you try to keep your tears in which Eric immediately took a notice of.

“No, no please don’t cry because of me, sweetheart..” Eric says softly as he immediately engulfs your smaller figure in his own warm one as he tries his best to comfort you by keeping your body close to his and hugging you tightly.

Pushing him away gently you take another step back before you give him a shake of your head. “I think it’s best if I leave now…” you say, your voice wavering a bit at the end “Happy Birthday though…” you say with a small smile.

Saying that you immediately walk away from there, not having enough courage or the energy to look Eric in the eye after what he just said.

You knew you should not have kissed him. This is all because of you, and now because of this small mistake, you lost a friendship that you used to value and love so deeply.

Meanwhile all Eric did was watch you walk away from him with tears rolling down his cheeks.

Kneeling down on the ground he brought his knees closer to his chest as he started sobbing, his body shaking violently with each sob leaving his mouth.

All he wanted at that moment was for your arms to be around his body, hug him closely but that was not possible since you were not there with him anymore. He had lost you, forever.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

Entering the dorm, you don’t care enough to inform Soyeon about your arrival. Entering your room you slump down on your bed with a tired sigh leaving your mouth.

You could feel your body giving up, you don't even know what you’re going to do anymore at this point. You did everything you could to make things right but nothing worked.

What if you would have not went over to Juyeon’s house, would things right now be different, maybe even better? Or maybe if you would not have gone over to Eric today, to celebrate his birthday this would not have even happened.

Biting onto your pillow you stop yourself from letting out the sobs you were dying to let out. You knew Soyeon was sleeping right now, you did not want to be a burden to her anymore.

“Y/N? Are you okay babe?” You heard Soyeon’s soft voice speaking through the doorway as she slowly opened the door to your room and let herself in.

“No Y/N…” Soyeon says mostly to herself as she immediately joins you on your bed. Lying down beside you, she hugged your body closer to hers from the back as she patted your head whispering sweet things in your ear, hoping that would calm you down.

“I am so pathetic, So…I just…I wish I could just die right now. I cannot believe I just ruined my friendship with Eric. I…” you could not even get yourself to finish the sentence as you let out harsh sobs, not being able to control them anymore “I ruined everything…” you say as a hiccup leaves your mouth.

“Shh, Y/N if anything Eric is also with you in this. It’s not like the kiss was one-sided. He kissed you back…” Soyeon says as she continues to pat your head.

The entire night, all you could remember was crying your eyes out as you spoke incoherent words to Soyeon. You knew you were gonna have a puffy face and a bad headache tomorrow morning.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

It was the 31st today, the day everyone would be rejoicing since in less than 24 hours it would be the start of a new year, a new chapter of everyone’s life, a new beginning to something beautiful for some people, sour reality for some of them since they were dreading this time of the year since their whole lives.

For you it was no different, you were not in the mood to celebrate with your friends, and you did not have the energy to even leave the comforts of your bed after everything that has been happening in your life.

It was just you, your bed, your laptop with your favourite TV show on loop and the cup of hot coffee that was with you since day one.

“Are you sure you’re just going to be okay to stay here all alone on the new year?” Soyeon asks you as soon as she enters your room. Giving her a nod you wave her goodbye.

—x—

Checking your phone, you frowned in confusion when you saw 20 missed calls by Eric. 20 missed calls? At this time of the day? By Eric? Why would he even call you?

Immediately dialling his number, you wait for him to pick up the call only to get sent off to voicemail.

Getting worried you get out of your bed in a hurry as you grab your car and house keys and head towards the door.

Opening the door you jump back in surprise when you see Eric standing in front of you with his hands placed on his knees as he took deep breaths in while trying to catch his breath.

“Why…why the hell were you…not picking up your calls!?” Eric shouts at you while still trying to catch his breath.

Standing up properly, he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand before he looked you in your eyes, “Are you free?” Eric asks once he his breathing had gone back to normal.

Looking down at the attire you were wearing, you stare back up at Eric with an awkward smile. “Well looking at the fact that I am in my pyjamas I think I am free yeah.” You notice Eric roll his eyes playfully as he enters your house and grabs your coat which was hanging on the coat hanger.

“Wear this. It’s cold outside…” Eric whispers in your ears as he helps you wear the coat.

“Where are we going though?” You ask Eric, noticing the impatience.

“Just start walking will ya?” Eric says as he grabs your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours unknowingly.

—x—

You both had been walking on the twinkling footpath since the last few minutes. The silence had engulfed you both but this time it felt more comfortable rather than awkward.

You looked around the busy streets of the road as everyone was out there celebrating the last day of the year with their loved ones.

Reaching a calmer and quieter street you looked around the place when you noticed that there was no one around and it was just the two of you there.

“Okay sweetheart, what I am about to tell you, just please listen to me before you say anything okay?” You hear Eric say. Turning around to face him you notice Eric taking a seat on the grass as he stares ahead at the scenery which is in front of him. “Come sit.” He says as he pats the place beside him.

Sitting down beside him you screech in surprise when Eric pulls you closer to his body while grabbing onto your waist. “That’s better,” Eric whispered softly before he took a deep breath in.

“I missed you…” he says softly as he straightens out the strands of your hair which were flying around everywhere.

Looking him in the eye you softly respond to him “I missed you too. All I did was think about you since our last encounter and I…I am sorry.” You whisper that, afraid your voice would break if you speak any louder.

“I wanted to tell you something, I just couldn’t get myself to say it out loud because I was afraid something would happen.” You give him a look of encouragement, a sign for him to continue speaking which he caught on immediately.

“I love you Y/N, I knew that when we were away from each other and I was sure of my feelings for you when we had that talk on the rooftop of the hospital. I was just so caught up in the fact that my dad was on the verge of dying I unknowingly pushed you away. I knew I left you in the dark after just disappearing after we had kissed that day in my car and that was no way in hell right but…I was just so much in denial about the fact that I love you more than a friend. I was freaking out over the fact that I might lose you if our relationship does not go well, I was afraid that I would mess it all up when we got together but when we had a talk on my birthday, I realised that you’re the only person I will ever love this much, I just love the way you smile when I make a stupid joke even though it was not funny. I was afraid that if I confessed my feelings we would not be able to spend Christmas together, which we did not because of my stupidity. I missed the time when we would bake the cookies on Christmas Eve, I missed the time when we would wrap the gifts we bought for our friends for the Christmas even though they were utterly ridiculous but most of all, I missed spending time with you sweetheart. I missed hearing your sweet voice, I missed the fact that you were not the first person who wished me a Merry Christmas. I love you Y/N. I truly do and this time, I am ready to commit. Commit for us and for this relationship we would have in the future. Would you take the honours and be my girlfriend?” Eric says as breaks down in tears at the end of the sentence.

Grabbing his cheeks, you make him look up as you lean closer and place your lips on top of his, you could taste the saltiness of his tears but the sweet taste of the lip balm he was wearing.

Smiling in the kiss, you move closer to him as you move your hands towards his neck as you pull him closer towards you. You could feel the slight smile that appeared on his lips.

Being lost in the kiss, you both failed to notice the snow that had started to fall, that was until you saw the small snow that rested on Eric’s nose which made you let out a small giggle.

“What’s so funny sweetheart?” Eric says between the kiss as he kisses you deeper, not even letting you answer the question he had just asked.

Pulling away, you look at Eric with a wide smile resting on your cheeks, your smile reaching your eyes, his favourite kind of smile of yours truly.

“Is that a yes then?” Eric asks as a giggle escapes his lips. Giving him a small nod you peck his red nose as you let out a small laugh.

“See, I can be the one for you sweetheart.” Eric says with a silly smile on his face before he starts peppering your face with kisses making you fall down on the grass as laughter blares through the quiet place.

“I never said you couldn’t…” you say with laughter. “I love you, Eric Sohn…” you whisper softly as you look up at him while lying down on the ground, as Eric stared down at you while being above you.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Eric whispers the last words as he kisses you deeply.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

[quaissants]

THREE    ୨୧    ERIC SOHN

cast. boyfriend! eric x gn! mc  ༝  pantone. college au .. established relationship .. hurt w/o comfort  ༝  length. 516  ༝  cw(s). arguments .. swearing .. emotional / mental suffocation

tfw. this is what listening to in my dreams on loop and reading lang leav does. ooh! i don’t know if matty remembers but this was meant to be the original reason in the last word.. aha.. ha..

someone once wrote that communication is key to a happy relationship. so you took it as an assurance that you're going to do the right thing. but after almost an hour of going back and forth with your lover, your belief in those words is wavering.

“i just want to spend some time with you, is that too much to ask?” you argue weakly, shaky fingers fiddling with the charm hung on your chain. it was meant to symbolize a promise; supposed to make you feel safe. but now, pinch by pinch, it's suffocating you.

“no it's not, but the thing is we can do that another day.” eric pauses to slide his foot in his sneaker, the one he never bothers to undo the laces beforehand, even though doing so would make his life easier. “right now, i want to go hang out with my friends.”

“okay, fine.”

defeat no longer tastes sour on your tongue, so you easily swallow it and turn around. after taking a few steps towards your bedroom (because he's no longer around enough to keep his claim on the space), you hear him call your name. and though you shouldn't, you shift on your heel to face him.

“come on bumblebee, don't be like this..” the weirdest thing is he actually holds his arms out; as if he believes you'll fall into his embrace.

disbelief tickles you, prompting laughter to slip from your lips. “like what? like an idiot who actually hoped that by telling their boyfriend how they feel, they'll be heard and understood?”

“what are you talking about? i always listen to you.” eric retorts, arms now hanging by his sides, and brows furrowed to meet in the middle.

“yet you don't try to understand how i feel! what hurts even more than that is the fact that i'm the one who always adjusts to make this work. i'm the one who pretends that constantly being blown off by their boyfriend because he has some project or test to review for is okay. i'm the one who does nothing but put a band aid over the repetitive stab to my heart whenever someone has the fucking guts to flirt with you, even though i'm right there.

and now that you finally have a day off, you actually expect me to be okay with the fact that you want to spend it with the people you're with every single day, rather than the person who has sacrificed time, rest, friendships, even my own sanity, to be with you.”

after pouring everything out, you feel like a weight has been lifted off your exhausted body. your worn soul no longer feels like it's cracking under the pressure that comes as an accessory in the dating a ‘golden’ boy pack. you're almost free—you just have one more question.

“you always choose them.” with your last speck of hope, you tug that loose thread that's been dangling at the forefront of your mind for far too long. “what about me, am i not a priority?”

in his hesitation you found your answer.

𓆩♡𓆪  ─┈  taglist. @stealanity​​ @strxwberry-skiess​​ — send an ask to be added !

[ethereal-engene]

just like spring snow | youngjae

pairing: bf!eric x gn!reader

genre: fluff, angst, and slice of life // warnings: mentions of food, dealing with sadness and longing, and depression (not super in depth for the most part) & not really proof-read

summary: A story of coping with Eric’s hiatus and the aftermath. // word count: ~3.5k

note: I know he’s been back for a little while now but wanted to commemorate it in writing because I became a deobi while he was on hiatus and am super happy he’s back! 

They say that distance makes the grow fonder and you agree but that doesn’t mean that the distance doesn’t make you miss them.

You understood why Eric was taking a hiatus and actually helped him decide on it. With everything that happens in the industry, you know it’s not easy to deal with given the myriad of challenges. It made you quite proud that he was doing this.

Of course, you didn’t want him to leave but you knew he’d be back and that it was for the best. He spent a lot of time with you and the members before he officially left for the states. Seeing him off, he cried a lot and told you that he’d still keep in touch. Along with his iconic line of “Always remember Eric loves you” all of the while him saying it with tears streaming down his face.

Wiping them away with your free hand as the other was holding his hand. “I love you too, my love. Don’t forget to text me when you land and don’t worry about me too much. Take care, my lucky clover.” You give him one last tight hug and kiss.

Honestly, you were trying your best not to cry as hard as him. Eric being who he is, noticed that and wanted to stay just so he could give you more comfort. He feels bad but you know if he told you, you’d smack him. Because you don’t want to be the reason why he holds back on getting the much deserved break.

You both know if he stays then it wouldn’t really be the hiatus and break that he worked to set up with the company. So when you two hear an announcement from the speakers about how this is the last call for his flight, you pull away.

Eric kisses you once more but waving goodbye. Once again, the tears from his face start to fall. You wave goodbye and walk away. Knowing that if you turn around, you won’t go back. People would assume that you two were breaking up given all of the crying. Quite the contrary though, yours and his relationship is strong.

This was simply another test of the time and strength of your relationship. And besides you and him both know the real reason behind his hiatus. There’s no bullshit reason as to why he’s doing it.

Anyhow, you had to have one of the other members pick you up from the airport. They tried their best to console you and you appreciate them for it. Jacob, Kevin and Sangyeon were most notably the ones who helped you the most during this moment.

When they dropped you off at your apartment, just as you had given Eric a tight hug, they gave you one just as tight too. If they could, they’d spent the rest of today with you but they had their schedules. Obviously you weren’t going to keep them from that so you told them you’d text them if you needed anything.

Besides you weren’t a stranger to the whole busy schedule they had to follow. Waving them goodbye & thanking them again, you went into your apartment. It felt emptier without Eric’s things taking up tiny spaces.

Taking a deep breath to remind yourself of why this was happening again to ground yourself. Repeating the words “He’s not leaving me, this break is to help him get better.”

In an attempt to soothe these feelings, you decided to clean. But it was quite hard to do so when Eric basically did that before he left so you went to work on your assignments. Unfortunately, even the departure of your love couldn’t stop time for you to work on school.

With time passing by, you and Eric still kept in touch. Whether it was through FaceTimes or text messages. It was always fun to catch up and see what he’s been up to. As well for him to see what you’re doing and the other members.

It can be challenging with the time difference but you two make it work. If you’re lucky enough, you two will video call as you’re working on assignments and him doing his own things. Kind of strange but you’ll take any time you can get to spend with him, even if it’s virtual.

Every so often, when you think about how he’s not currently with you. The tears flow freely down your face. Almost like a never ending stream. Hugging your pillow and wishing it was Eric. Waking up to an empty bed is really when it hurts.

After always being woken up by a kiss from him, you long for the moment; it's no longer a dream but a reality instead. How can a bed feel so cold without the presence of him? It’s like it doesn’t matter how many blankets or layers you have, the breeze will find a way to greet you.

There were some days where you didn’t want to leave the bed or do anything. Hoping that sleeping would take the pain away. When you didn’t respond to text messages coming from everyone, they got worried. As one would.

Eric would send small messages to you when this happens. He knows that you’ll be okay but it definitely hurts him too. Making a mental to shower you in his love and affection when his hiatus is over. In the meantime, may this period of time where you two are apart allow you to still grow with each other.

You just forgot how to live without Eric and it sucked ass. To be in love and a relationship shouldn’t mean you lose total sense of who you are and the life you lived before them. It took a while for you to get back on your feet.

Starting off small by rebuilding your daily routine. Things like setting up what time you’d go in for work, start and finish homework, attend class, and eat your meals. In due time, your mind was occupied with the present and sometimes inevitably floating to Eric.

Wanting to know what he was up to or sharing stories about your day to him. However in the back of your head, you knew that if he wanted to tell you something he would. Eric would not hold back on anything to you. All is good though because you may or may not have been writing in a journal to keep track of all the little and big things you want to tell him. If not a journal then a letter.

It helped you cope with him being away. Making you feel like you’d one day just mail all of these to him as if y’all are two long lost lovers or something. You would be lying if you didn’t think about sending these to him but for some reason, you felt like it was better for him to just have them when he came back. Plus you didn’t want to pay to stamp all of them or didn’t want to flood his mailbox with these.

Another way you worked through this period of time was with the boyz.

Whoever had an off day in the boyz would offer to spend the day with you. Going with places for Chanhee to take pictures. Going to their dorms to play games with Juyeon or watching movies with Sunwoo, Younghoon, Jaehyun and Changmin. And last but not least going to their studio to watch them practice and record for their upcoming songs.

It was super fun to see the creative process behind them building a song. Especially with Jacob and Sunwoo. Seriously super talented and lovely songwriters. If you weren’t spending time with them, you were on campus studying & being a student.

You met up with old friends who attended the same college as you too. Taking the time to build more meaningful relationships with them and sharing stories about your struggles with classes. It felt nice to be able to talk to them about “normal” things.

Lastly, you were also working so that took up a good chunk of your week to focus on. The number of stories that accumulate just from one day at work is crazy. Ranging from horrible customers to hearing juicy stories about the town to playing along with little kids. This would have to be the final piece in cementing back the normalcy you had again.

God, it felt so liberating. Of course, you still missed him but with everything going on, it was easy for it to slip out of your mind. A gentle reminder that with and without Eric, you’re still your own person with dreams and goals.

With the time passing by, and before you knew it. You received the text that you were waiting for this entire time. The text read: “I hope you haven’t been missing me too much but I’ll be home soon. Can’t wait to finally see you again. I love you!!”

It took everything in you not to scream. You re-read it multiple times before calling him. Just to confirm and hear his voice again. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Babe, why would I lie about that?? Don’t worry, I promise it’s real and in fact the announcement should be going to the fans soon. God, I can’t wait to hug and kiss you again.” If it were possible to hear the joy coming from him, you were hearing and feeling it full force.

You couldn’t help but silently sob into your phone. Almost forgetting he was still on the phone with you, he started to bombard you with questions. Traces of worry laced in his tone. Asking if you’re okay or need something.

You responded in between sniffles and wiping your nose. “Y… yeah I am my lucky clover. I just can’t believe you’re finally coming back. Please let me know when your flight is and I’ll be there. I love you too!”

Eric almost forgot how much he hated hearing you cry. Wanting nothing more than to fly right away so that you wouldn’t be alone anymore. Alas he left you with more comforting words and texted you his flight information.

It was actually a lot closer than you were expecting. Setting a little countdown and you carried on with your day but carrying bits of more happiness than before. Everything about that day and forward seemed to go by faster and smoother than before. It gave you more strength to get through these last couple days.

When your phone went off to remind you that the countdown was over, it awoke you. Not the worst way to wake up but we all know the best way was with Eric next to you. So you got up and made your bed.

Today seemed to shine brighter today. As if the universe knew that Eric was coming back. After a while, you got a call from Kevin that they were here and ready to go!

Having already dressed up and all, you bid goodbye to this apartment. Telling them that soon it wouldn’t feel as empty anymore but also thanking it for keeping you safe during this time. You got into the car and chatted about anything with them all until y’all arrived. They totally didn’t place a bet on who was going to cry today.

When you guys arrived, it was almost hard not to get lost with the normal traffic at an airport coupled with reporters/paparazzi awaiting his arrival. Not even being able to see anything, it dampened your mood a bit. However after getting through all of the cameras and waiting, seeing him again made it all better.

Also Younghoon definitely cried but everyone knew that it would happen. To be fair, you cried as well and Eric. After reaching a more private space, you had run so fast into his arms and as one can only imagine he spun you. Both of you held eye contact until crying into each other’s shoulders. Eric had whispered so many I love yous and thank you for waiting. Shaking your head to reassure him that it was fine.

“I’m just glad you’re back, my lucky clover. I love you too and if you ask me it was worth the wait.” You whispered back and leaned your head against his forehead. So his and your eyes could meet. Maybe a couple minutes passed and you two hear fake coughs. “You know, Eric we’re here too.”

And right then and there laughter comes out of everyone. “How could I ever forget my oh so handsome and caring hyungs?” A playfully annoyed tone coming from Eric along with a roll of his eyes. All the while, his arms opened up so that they could hug him. You slowly back away because you’ve seen them run at full force and let’s not lie here, it’s kind of scary. They don't just hug him but almost tackle him to the ground.

You’re laughing as it happens and helping them get back up with the help of their manager(s). 

“Welcome back, our energetic maknae! It really hasn’t been the same without you here and we love you.” Sangyeon welcomes him. All of them go around giving him a hug and maybe even a noogie. When they’re done, Eric returns to your side and slightly unaware of just how much they messed up his hair, you take a selfie/selca together. Only then does he notice it and leaves out a groan as you laugh. Eventually you help fix his hair and you all head back to the dorms to celebrate.

Sitting with him reminds me of when you two started going out. Both of you were quite shy and it may have taken the members giving y’all encouragement to be more comfortable with each near them. Besides they were fucking tired of hearing Eric talk about how he was scared that his members would get annoyed at you two for doing anything with public display of affection. They told him that it was fine just don’t overdo it or anything inappropriate. Ever since then, you two slowly got used to it.

You two were so young then but nothing about your love for each other has changed. Even anything, your love for each other got stronger especially after reuniting. The day was spent talking and enjoying everyone’s company. At the end, as they dropped you two off at your apartment it felt a bit odd. Walking up the stairs holding each other’s hand and the other carrying a luggage, it really did remind you of the first time you ever brought him to your place. It took a lot of convincing to the members and the company that nothing would happen to him.

Welcoming him in you, you let him know that you were going to shower and probably head to bed. Eric nodded and was putting back the things of his that used to belong there. He was taking in the view as if he didn’t know what it looked like before. Seeing his trinkets be placed, it helped the place feel more like home. After he was done putting them in their respective places, he was taking his sweet time observing the photos of you two together.

He was entranced by them so much that he didn’t hear you come out of the shower. For some reason, you didn’t want to disturb his peace so you let him indulge in it. Besides, you had done exactly what he was doing when he was gone. Looking at the pieces of your memories together and remembering that moment. When he’s done, he feels your eyes on him. Looking at each other with smiles growing.

If love was in the form of a person then it was Eric for you. Both of you couldn’t imagine a life without each other, much less a future too. For him, his future was with you. Walking over to you, he wrapped his arms around you. Peppering you with kisses and pretending to slow dance in your living room. “Thank you again for waiting for me. I know it was hard but I’m proud of us for surviving it. I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you again but I will promise that I’ll always return to you.” A promise sealed with your pinky fingers interlocking and a kiss to the lips.

“Don’t thank me for doing the bare minimum. I could and would wait however long it took for you to feel your best and better. It might have hurt but it’s not like I didn’t know what I agreed to when I told you to go for it.” You detached his hands from you and held them to move to the couch before continuing.

“You left in the spring and returned with the snow. I truly believe that these eight months apart proved that our love can withstand whatever comes our way. Thank yourself for being strong enough to admit that you needed a break. You know that everyone can’t do that but you did and I’ll always be proud of you for that.”

Eric really thought he had cried it all out today but hearing your sweet words attested to that statement. Just as you were wiping his tears when he left, you were doing the same now. A sense of relief washed over you when you realized how similar it was. Because now he was back and better. Rubbing his back and whispering sweet nothings helped soothe his pain.

One of the things that you will always love Eric for is not holding back on his emotions. During their concerts and fancons, he was known for also crying his heart out with Younghoon. He was comfortable enough to let it out. In a world where men who get called mean names for simply being in touch with their feelings and expressing them, it was a shock to you. Over time, you learned to appreciate that quality of him.

Giving him a forehead before playing the song spring snow by the boyz. While this song is a fan-song, the lyrics are very touching and a message you’d like Eric to receive. Some of the lines for reference:

At the end of the cold winter, it’s you who’s waiting for me

Everything changed after meeting you. The time when it was cold, as if it was decided, towards me. You approach with a warm smile and embrace me

I’m always grateful for you who came to me

Even if the moment of you and me passes by. Even in those lonely moments It’s fine now as it’s no longer cold

As he calmed down, you gave him a glass of water. You had one more thing for him before this day came to an end. Finding the letters or journal for him, you handed it to him. “It’s all of the things I wanted to tell you when you were gone. You can read them all another day but please shower. So we can sleep, I am beat from today.”

Eric laughed before wrapping you up in another long hug. “Yeah yeah I will. Thank you, my love. I love you again. I feel like I have to make up for the time I was away and I’ll read these with all the love in my heart.” He got up first and held out his hand for you to take it. Placing your hand in his, he kissed it and made his way to the bathroom.

While he was in the shower, he kept thinking about you and all of the things he wanted to do with you now that he’s back. There weren’t enough words to fully capture how he felt. All he knew was that he loved you and you loved him back. Knowing that gave him enough strength to carry on.

With him in the shower, you started to get cozy with the bed and told yourself to not sleep until he was out. Unfortunately, the tiredness got to you first before he did. So when he came out ready to spend the last few moments left in the day, he was greeted with you sleeping. He couldn’t blame you. Today was an emotional rollercoaster. 

Before he slept with you, he wrote a letter to you. In case that he had to leave in the morning for his schedule. Oh and of course he gave you a forehead kiss, wished that you slept well, and to have sweet dreams.

The season of Spring usually is the season of hope, blossoming of flowers, and the warmth returning but this year it brought the opposite. On the flip side, the season of Winter usually is the season of sadness, heartbreak, and the loss of warmth but this year it brought the opposite. 

The Spring Snow will always follow each other to give what the other season was missing. Like Spring Snow, you and Eric complete each other in ways people don’t understand because they are not you and him.

wow ash the boyz debut fic :)) 

I hope you enjoyed this and if you did please interact with it by reblogging it (preferably with tags and what you liked about it or what you didn’t like), sending in an ask or dm to me, or even leaving a comment in the notes section. I appreciate you and hope you remember to take care

signing off with love to eric,

- ash

[juhakx]

Love- Eric Sohn

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 744

Inspired by. “what thing worthy of love can be found in me?”- franz kafka

“I don’t know,” You whisper into the darkness. The slight peak of moonlight between the curtains gave you the only reassurance you needed to see the shadows of Eric’s face. “I just can’t imagine it.”

This was why you loved staying up late with Eric. There was a side of him that you saw that no one else got to, and you could share things with him that no one else had ever heard. In the end, it’s why you two got along so well–why no one questioned how the two of you became best friends. 

“That’s ridiculous. Why can’t you imagine it?” Eric asks, shifting closer. Sharing a bed was never a problem. You had been sharing beds with Eric since you were in elementary school. If you closed your eyes long enough, it felt like you were back in your Hello Kitty pajamas, trying to keep in your giggles as Eric made you laugh long past when you were supposed to be asleep. 

“Like–” You begin, turning over so you were facing him. “Guys have never been interested in me like that. And–And! Can you just imagine one person deciding, ‘Yes, this is the person I want to spend every single waking moment with?’ I can’t imagine someone choosing me out of the millions of people in the world to love. There’s nothing that deems me so special from everyone else that would justify that.” When you’re done with your spiel, you lower your hand that began to make wild gestures to get your point across. 

These thoughts had been trapped in your head for years. It was almost comical how Eric brought up subjects that you wouldn’t dare speak aloud unless it was to yourself. Just minutes prior he had breached it when asking “Do you think you’ve ever been in love?” How that spiraled to you confessing your deepest emotions, only the moon knew. 

“Well, do you think that about me?” Eric asks, not like he was defending himself, but in a way like he knew what the answer was. 

“No, you’re different,” You simply state. You notice the way Eric rolls his eyes, even in the dark, making you laugh. 

“Really? So you’re condemned to a life of solitude because you think no one will love you and I get to be loved just because I’m different?” Eric flicks the top of your head, almost as if he was annoyed that you thought like this.

“Well, yeah.” You look up at Eric, making sure he could see your eyes so he knew you were being serious. “You are so nice and you always make sure the people around you are happy and you’re so cool and really good at baseball–Oh! And you can dance. I love people who can dance.” You roll back away so you’re staring at the ceiling. “There’s, like, not one bad thing about you. You’re better than the rest. You’re different,” You emphasize. 

After a beat of silence, Eric picks the conversation back up. “It’s good to know that if no one will love me because I’m nice, they’ll love me because I can dance.”

Eric laughs when you push at his chest, annoyed. You were never good at words and he always used it against you. 

When you begin to pull your hand back, he reaches for it, his hand circling your wrist and bringing it back. 

You try to ignore the way your heart stutters. 

“You’re different too,” Eric begins. “You are so kind and not in the way you think I am, but you make sure to look after the people you care about even when they don’t deserve it. And you always kick my ass in Just Dance so technically you’re good at dancing too. And even though you’re sitting here thinking that no one could love you, you love everyone so much. And everyone you meet can’t help but love you too.” 

Eric was always better than you at words, anyway. 

“Don’t cry you weirdo,” Eric laughs once he notices the wetness pooling in your eyes. 

“Shut up, I’m sensitive,” You sniffle, attempting to pull your hand away from his so you can turn your back to him. 

Instead, he lets go willingly, grabbing at your chin so you can look up at him again. 

“I love you,” He whispers. He reassures. 

And for now, it didn’t matter how he meant it. All that mattered was that he loved you.

[ikeuverse]

what's your name? | eric sohn

tbz!eric x fem!reader

gender: little (almost non-existent) angst, maybe funny

warnings: mention of false death, termination of relationship

wc: 1821

notes: happy happy happy for 200 followers! i was so inactive, walking in here and seeing this amount made my heart flutter. i'm so grateful that i decided to reciprocate with this story that has been around in my mind for a while. hope you all like it!

✧ m.list ✧

Hearing about his friends' blind dates had always piqued Eric's immense curiosity. Being in a place with a person he had never seen before, not even knowing his name fascinated the boy until the moment he sat down at that table. Listening to the woman chatter all night wasn't the problem, it was the fact of all the flaws she listed that she didn't like in a man.

Younger than her, not having a real job and not having his own home.

Well, Eric remembered the woman saying her age at the beginning of the meeting and he, if he didn't miss math, was six years younger than her. He didn't know what she meant by a real job, but it certainly wasn't the waiter and barista job he and his friends did at Haknyeon's new venture. And to make matters worse, she would hate to see the apartment he shared with three of his friends. At least it was his own, but it wasn't just his.

That woman would certainly not go out with Eric again and he even felt relieved for that, to avoid future frustrations and even false hopes in the girl who kept talking about her job in a multinational. Maybe that was just a cover up so she could impress him since he got carried away by the suit Sangyeon borrowed and Younghoon's beauty powers. Friends of his actually helped him on that production just to try and impress a woman who didn't like who he really was. And Eric hadn't even opened his mouth to even say her name.

How do I get out of here? He typed to Changmin who had gone with him to that meeting, just a few tables away. He took advantage of the fact that the girl had stopped talking to touch up her lipstick and was barely paying attention to him.

“So...” she called him at the same time that the cell phone turned on the screen, Changmin had replied to the message, but there was no time for Eric to see “What's your…”

“Blind date rules,” Eric remembered, smiling at her. Saying the name on the blind date was an almost forbidden rule as it could only happen on a possible second date. Because if it failed – as was happening with Eric's – no one would need to say the person's name in the future to avoid embarrassment.

"Right. What do you do for a living?" the red lips of freshly applied lipstick made Eric shiver. She was very pretty, but the arrogance didn't let him be interested in a single point of that face.

Eric wanted to cut the conversation and get the hell out of there, if he opened his mouth to say anything he could end the night in embarrassment. What if she yelled at him? What if she ran off without him being able to drink another glass of wine to try to get more courage?

“I… Right…” he gulped and, yet another message from Changmin, he couldn't wait, “Just a moment.”

In a way that encounter would come to nothing anyway, so if he saw the message he wouldn't be so lost.

I can see your despair from here, man. Changmin laughing was the devil himself, even more so in those messages. Make an excuse to go to the bathroom and run away as quickly as possible.

“Look, I need to take this call” Eric took the cell phone and stood up “My brother is sick and I need to know how he is.”

“Oh, what does your brother have?” she looked worried, and throughout the evening Eric noticed a bit of sincerity in the woman.

“Problems with…” the boy searched the whole restaurant for something until he looked at Changmin. The friend was staring back at him, but he seemed more relaxed and super involved with the girl right in front of him. He fiddled a little with the tie he was wearing and ran his hand until he reached his neck. "Neck!" Eric said louder thinking that Changmin had given some signal.

"Torticollis?"

"That! He's really bad, I'll be right back” quickly grabbed his things and left.

He didn't go near the restroom path and ran out of the restaurant, straightening the blazer he wore and unbuttoning it to make himself even more comfortable. Fresh air was all he needed as he walked away from the entrance and across the street.

Only his friends liked this crazy thing, because he didn't work like that. Blind date was not for Eric Sohn and never would be.

“I hate these things so much…” he whispered to himself as he kicked the small pebble on the sidewalk, heading towards the wall of another establishment to sit down. Hoping Changmin had gotten along well and didn't need to run out of there like him.

"Blind date? They are the worst things in the world” the choked voice startled Eric and made him look quickly at the small staircase next to the entrance – ironically closed – of the place. He would agree and leave chattering as soon as he noticed the tip of the reddened nose, further up staring at the teary eyes and face wet from crying.

"Are you ok?" was the first thing that came to his mind when he noticed the girl there. The small steps he ran until he was sitting beside her.

“Yeah, just…” she laughed through her tears, sniffling as she waved at him, “Is it going to be weird to vent to someone I've never met?”

“Well, if you count that we were in there a few minutes ago on a date with people we've never seen…” this made her laugh, then a little at Eric and his concern for the girl.

“I just saw my ex boyfriend on the blind date” her teary eyes looked sad, disappointed, screaming. Eric seemed to feel everything she wanted to convey just staring at her as she listened to him vent "And that's not even the worst of it."

"What's worse? If you want to tell, of course.”

“We broke up a few months ago, and he said it was because he had a full schedule and was going to work in another state” the humorless laugh denounced that lies would come around, so Eric was quiet to hear the outcome and feel his heart tighten a little. Just as her voice cracked to finish “And I just found out, because I was sitting at the table next to him without realizing it, that he never left the state and was single because his girlfriend died in an accident.”

“Wow” was all he managed to say. He knew that unreasonable lie from a man who was worth nothing just to end the relationship.

“I only came because my friends insisted a lot and because I needed to forget about him” she wasn't crying anymore, but her face was still wet with tears “And him giving me up for dead to people… I don't believe that.”

“Look, he who must die for you. Your friends were right to bring you on this blind date.”

“Yeah, but the guy was a shit” she finally laughed when she heard Eric chuckle. Looking up to notice how handsome the boy next to her was, maybe even she was embarrassed by her tearful appearance being next to a guy like him.

“Bad date?” she quickly agreed “The woman I was with listed so many problems in a man… Which I have pretty much all of.”

One more heartfelt laugh from her, and Eric felt his heart jump out of his chest.

“Are you that bad?”

“I don't think so” he shrugged, bumping his arm into the girl's arm to get her attention “Are you expecting someone?”

“My friend did fine in there, apparently” she sighed “She hasn't come out yet.”

"My friend doesn't either."

"Wait…"

Synchronized or not, it seemed that both had thought the same.

“If the universe is as crazy as I'm thinking, if my friend is with your friend…”

"I doubt it! Let's bet?"

“Let's go” she raised her hand to shake his “What shall we bet?”

Eric seemed to think for a while. What to bet with a stranger who was having a worse night than he was?

“That we’ll go on a blind date, you and me.”

"Again?"

"No, I mean" Eric used his free hand to scratch his neck, slightly embarrassed to propose. But he wasn't going to get a chance to date someone he actually found beautiful. And she looked cool, he didn't want to miss the “The two of us together.”

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

“Maybe” he smiled even more shyly, squeezing her hand a little tighter to seal the deal “For the worst blind date and the universe in our favor…”

Maybe he was conspiring in his own favor, or maybe all that had happened so that they could, in a way, find each other. As soon as Eric finished his sentence, Changmin's laughter could be heard in the distance, across the street leaving arm in arm with a beautiful girl. He seemed to look for Eric for a few minutes until he found him sitting across the street.

It was only at that moment that he and the girl stood up and released their hands for Sohn to wave to his friend.

“Is that your friend?” the girl appeared to be ecstatic, turning to Eric and bursting out laughing when he nodded. A good sound to hear, a laugh so good he could swear he wouldn't get sick of hearing it every day.

“Yes, because that one…”

“It's my friend” she ran a hand over Eric's arm, like a quick affection to thank him for something he didn't even know he had done. Changed the night she swore was chaos “I'll see you on our blind date. By the way… What is your name?”

He smiled. A smile so amused and full of life, he approached the girl cautiously and took her hand, kissing the top like a gentleman and bowing quickly. Eric walked down the few steps to be far enough away, as if he said goodbye without saying goodbye, after all, they had an appointment.

“I can't, it's the blind date rules” he waved “See you here next friday at eight?”

“At eight” her smile widened as he nodded and ran across the street, exchanging a few words with Changmin and greeting the girl. Then he took off running and turned the corner as fast as he could.

The feeling of a ruined night was gone. And with that, another feeling took over him: Eric was starting to accept the possibility of a blind date, but only if it was with that girl he wanted, for sure, to go on a second date without even having gone on the first one yet.

[hwxnghyynjin]

Jingle Screams

Pairing: eric sohn x reader (ft. Changmin) Genre: horror, angst, fluff Warnings: horror themes (gore, blood, use of weapons, changmin is a psychopath), character death, mentions of food, mentions of alcohol, mentions of throwing up Words: 5,745

Christmas is the time for family and friends to get together, giving and receiving gifts, and just spend time with their loved ones. Sitting by a fire drinking mulled wine or eggnog, watching Christmas films and kissing under mistletoe.

Ever since you and Eric got together, you always had this tradition coming up to Christmas that you both go to a Christmas market and try out all the Christmas goodies. After that you always go ice skating (not that you’re very good at it, but at least you have Eric there to catch you), and there’s also a big maze next to the Christmas market which you always find fun going in.

You and Eric have been together for 4 years, and it’s been the best 4 years of your life. You’re really glad that you met Eric, especially with what happened to you in high school, which was a very traumatic experience for you. You don’t even want to think about that, it makes you feel sick just talking about it.

There’s two weeks left until Christmas and you’re really excited. You’ve finished putting up Christmas decorations with the help from Eric (he likes to think he helped when in reality, all he did was put up a couple of mistletoe around the house, just so he could stop you from putting up decorations and kiss under them).

The two of you stand outside your house, admiring the work you have done. Christmas lights adorning the walls, painted with greens and reds and blues. A wreath hung above the door, which was given to you by Eric’s parents. To others, they would think it was just a normal wreath but to you and Eric, it was something special.

Eric stood behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist, his chin resting on top of your head. “I think we did a good job, don’t you think?” Eric asks you, swaying you side to side. You scoffed at him as you turned around in his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck. “We? Babe, all you did was put up several mistletoe around the house as an excuse just to make out with me”, you said to him, making Eric stutter. You were messing with him but he didn’t know that. That’s the thing with Eric: you can mess with him and he’d get flustered easily. 

You just laughed as you pressed a kiss to his cheek, letting go of him before heading towards the front door. “Come on, big boy, let’s go inside cause it’s freezing”, you said as you started to shiver, heading inside as Eric chased after you.

-------------------------------

Changmin was lying on his bed, locked up in his room. He was reading a book, something about creepy dolls being haunted but he wasn’t really paying attention to the book. He was paying more attention to the noises outside his room. Well, more like lack of noise. It was oddly quiet, which was rare. There was almost always the noise of people walking outside, banging on doors telling people to be quiet and sleep.

The silence was suddenly broken by a loud bang and then a thud. The sound of doors being unlocked, which alerted Changmin. He put his book down and got off his bed, walking towards his door. He pushed it slightly, and it opened. He smirked as he opened it fully, leaving his room. He walked into the hallway, seeing the other doors opening too. The guards, nurses and doctors tried to stop all the patients from escaping but the patients just started attacking them all.

Changmin found a random axe on the floor, not even thinking about how it got there and just picked it up. A doctor charged at him and Changmin didn’t even hesitate as he swung the axe, hitting the doctor straight in the head. Blood gushed out of him, the axe getting stuck as Changmin tried to get the blade out. He managed to get the axe free, the doctor’s now lifeless body hitting the floor with a thud.

As Changmin walked throughout the building, he saw patients, nurses, doctors and guards all fighting, dead bodies covering the floor. The once white walls were now painted with red. Not that it fazed him, he’s seen a lot of blood in his life. The blood of the people that he’s murdered. Yeah, that’s the whole reason why he was put into a mental institution: he’s a psychopath. And he has no shame about it.

He reached the main part of the building, a massive christmas tree coming into view. The sight of it made him angry, reminding him of his past and his hatred for christmas. He took the axe, and started cutting the tree, destroying it. A few people saw him, but they didn’t bother stopping him.

He suddenly felt someone grab him from behind, stopping him from destroying the christmas tree. He turned around and saw a young nurse, probably around the same age as him. She looked so innocent, he didn’t want to hurt her. But he had to eventually. He always hurts the people around him, and he enjoys it.

“You ok, miss?”, Changmin asked her, waiting for her to answer. Her big, brown eyes just looked up at him, her mouth agape. She looked like she was about to answer but stopped herself a couple of times, which annoyed Changmin. He couldn’t wait any longer so he just grabbed her hair, slamming her face down onto the desk next to them. He slammed her face down a couple of times, her unconscious body dropping to the floor.

He walked towards the open front door, walking out of it, into the cold fresh air. The bitterness of the air hit his face, sending a chill down his spine. He ran towards the metal fence, trying to find a way over it. Luckily he found a part of the fence was broken, a hole in it. It was big enough for him to fit through, so he bent down and crawled through it.

He was finally on the other side of the fence and out of the mental institution grounds. He could still hear the screams from inside the building, but he didn’t look back. He was finally out. After 7 whole years of being there, he was finally free. 

--------------------------------

Changmin walked for what felt like hours. The cold air made him shiver, but he didn’t care. He continued walking until he saw a car coming. He waved at the car, indicating for them to stop. The car stopped right in front of him, and Changmin walked to the driver's side of the car. He knocked on the window and the driver rolled their window down.

“You ok, kid? Do you need a ride or something?”, the driver said, a man who looks like he’s in his late 30’s. Changmin was about to say something until he thought about what the man asked. He just smiled and nodded his head, getting in the backseat of the car behind the driver.

The man asked him where Changmin was heading, and he just responded that he doesn’t know exactly where, he just wants to get as far away as possible. The driver was confused about what he meant, but continued to drive.

The man drove for what seemed like hours, continuing to drive along the same patch of road. Changmin looked to his right and saw some wire on the seat, widening his eyes. He looked back at the driver, who was looking out the window, paying no attention to what’s behind him. He moved his hand slowly towards the wire, grabbing it. He hid the wire between his legs, trying to not look suspicious.

“Hey, sir? Is it ok if you just park along the side of the road for a moment?”, Changmin asked, his voice sounding rather innocent. The driver didn’t think anything of it and parked alongside the road, stopping the car. Changmin unbuckled his seat belt and pretended he was going to get out of the car.

The man just sat there, thinking Changmin was going to get out of the car. Suddenly, Changmin grabbed the wire with both hands and wrapped it around the man’s neck, the man struggling against it. The wire cut into the man’s skin, digging deeper and deeper into the flesh. Changmin started laughing maniacally as the man’s body started thrashing around, his arms flailing. He suddenly went limp, his limbs flopping at his sides. 

He took the man’s lifeless body out of the car, leaving it on the side of the road. He got back in the car, now sitting in the driver's seat. He started the car and drove off, not caring about how fast he’s going. He sped along the road, almost hitting numerous cars, people honking their horns at him, but he didn’t pay attention to them.

He looked at the passengers side, seeing a phone on the seat. He grabbed the phone while still looking at the road. He turned the phone on, surprisingly seeing that it was easy to unlock. What a stupid man, not putting a passcode on his phone so anyone can see it, Changmin thought to himself. He searched through the internet to try and find what he was looking for and after around 10 minutes of searching, he finally found it.

More specifically, he found you. Your address, all your details, where you work, everything. He was going to find you and get you back, no matter the cost.

--------------------------------

You got changed into some warm clothes while Eric laid in your shared bed, shirtless. “Do we have to go out today? Why can’t we go out tomorrow instead? I wanna stay in bed all day”, Eric whined, making grabby hands at you. 

“First of all, you’re a big baby. Second of all, we always go to the Christmas market this time of year. As much as I would love to stay in bed with you all day, we still have a few more things to get for Christmas”, you said. You finished putting your pants on, but were still shirtless, your bra on show. Eric smirked as he saw the hickeys he put on you the night before, memories of your sweaty bodies and sounds of pleasure came back to him.

You saw his smirk and immediately knew what he was thinking. “Don’t even think about it. Now come on, get dressed”, you ordered, Eric immediately getting up and rushed to get changed. You smirked to yourself, knowing you have that power of Eric. You could use a certain tone with him and he’d do it straight away. 

You were sitting on the couch, waiting for Eric to finish getting ready. You were watching the news, the weatherman warning about a blizzard happening. Just as Eric walked into the living room, all dressed and ready to go out, the weatherman disappeared from the screen and the news presenter came on. 

“There was an attack at Cheongju-si Mental Institution 2 days ago. Many patients, guards and staff were murdered, whilst others were critically injured. One patient has escaped, which is 23 years old Ji Changmin. If you come into contact with him or see him, don’t interact or go near him for your own safety”

As soon as the picture of him showed up on the screen, your heart dropped. You thought you wouldn’t see his face ever again. Eric immediately grabbed the remote and turned the tv off, and sat next to you. He held your hand, rubbing his thumb over it.

“Do you still want to go out? I know how much he hurt you during high school, and I’m sure you haven’t forgotten. I don’t want him to be anywhere near you”, Eric said gently, still rubbing your hand with his thumb. You took a deep breath and stood up, letting go of Eric’s hand. “He may have hurt me, but I’m a strong girl. I can handle it. Besides, I want Christmas cookies”, you said, the mention of cookies making Eric chuckle. 

You grabbed everything you needed and left the house, locking the door behind you. You both headed towards your car, getting inside and starting the car. Driving down the driveway, you headed in the direction of where the Christmas market is.

Unfortunately, unbeknownst to you, someone was following behind you. 

--------------------------------

You arrived at the Christmas market, the market adorned with Christmas lights and festive music. Everyone was dressed up warm with woolly hats and winter clothes, appropriate for the cold weather. You ran towards the market, Eric chasing after you to make sure you didn't trip. 

You both browsed through the market hand in hand, the smell of cinnamon and apple hitting your senses. The sound of snow crunching under your feet after every step you take. It was as if you had stepped into a winter wonderland. 

You ate loads of Christmas cookies, ranging from gingerbread to shortbread, the sweetness hitting your taste buds. While you and Eric were wandering around, Changmin was staying in the shadows behind the stalls. Luckily he was wearing a mask so no one would recognise him, but even if someone did recognise him, he didn’t care cause all he cared about was finding you.

He was just walking when someone bumped into him. The person who bumped into him turned around and was about to apologise, when the person just stared at him. That was when Changmin realised his mask had fallen down when he collided with the person, revealing himself.

The person was about to speak when Changmin brought a finger up to his lips, telling him to be quiet. He got closer to the person, smiling at him. His smile seemed innocent, but it was far from innocent. Thankfully they were away from everyone since they were behind one of the stalls, closer towards the buildings.

Changmin continued to smile at the person, making them shake in fear. Suddenly, Changmin pulled out a knife and stabbed the guy, dragging him towards one of the buildings so they’re both out of sight.

Once Changmin was sure the guy was dead, he took the guy’s coat and Christmas hat to disguise himself. He left the guy on the floor, and headed out from behind the building and towards the stall. He pretended he worked behind the stall so he didn’t look suspicious. 

You and Eric continued looking through the stalls, which consisted of different types of sweet foods and savoury foods, clothing and homemade jewellery. You were about to try on a necklace, when you suddenly heard a scream. You and Eric whipped your head around towards where the scream came from, and saw a woman running with blood on her hands. 

“My brother has been stabbed!”, she cried as she ran towards people to help her. You went to try and help, but Eric stopped you from going anywhere. “Eric, she needs our help!”, you exclaimed, trying to get out of his hold. Eric stood in front of you and held your face in his hands.

“As much as I want to help them, I’m more concerned for your safety, especially with Changmin on the loose. Do you think it’s a coincidence that someone got stabbed? I don’t think so”, Eric said. He did have a point.

You walked to the next stall and noticed that a lot of people were crowded around behind it. The person behind the stall looked up at you and all you saw was his eyes. You froze in your spot as you continued to look at him. He pulled his mask down slowly, revealing himself. 

Everything around you came to a stop, the sound of screams of help being muffled as your worst nightmare is standing in front of you. The smile he had on his face made you feel sick to your stomach, the urge to throw up. 

“Hello, darling”

It was like his voice switched something inside of you and made you alert of your surroundings. You immediately turned on your heel and ran away, letting go of Eric’s hand in the process. Changmin jumped over the stall, chasing after you.

“Y/N!” Eric shouted after you but you were too focused on getting away to hear him. The sound of your feet crunching through the snow as you continued running, Changmin a few metres behind you. The snow had gotten heavier as the sky grew dark. Seems like the snow blizzard decided to come earlier than expected.

Eric was chasing after the both of you, being careful not to bump into anyone. He kept running, leaving the market and looking round, losing both you and Changmin. 

You continued running, a maze coming into view. You could barely see it due to the heavy snow. You managed to reach the entrance of the maze, hesitating whether to go in or not. You didn’t want to risk being caught by Changmin so you ran in anyway, the sound of Changmin screaming making you run faster.

Eric heard Changmin scream, running in the direction of where the scream came from. He struggled against the snow, the snow plummeting down from the sky. It was really difficult for him to see, but he didn’t give up. He wanted to save you from that psychopath. When you and Eric first started dating, you told him about what happened to you in high school, about what Changmin did to you, and he was disgusted. He’s glad that you’re still alive. You’re glad that you’re still alive too.

He managed to make it to the maze, running straight inside. He didn’t even think about the consequences of running inside, all he could think about was saving you. The sound of the snow crunching underneath his feet after every step he took, running through the maze. He noticed as he looked down, there were spots of blood in the snow. He started panicking, picking up the pace. 

You realised you had become lost in the maze, your breathing uneven. Your body felt like it was about to shut down from the cold. You didn’t look where you were going and tripped over something, falling straight to the ground. You come into contact with the snow, feeling a twang in your ankle, making you scream out of pain. You looked behind you to see what you tripped over, and saw a rock sticking out of the ground, making you confused as to how it got there.

You tried getting up, but struggled due to being in so much pain. You suddenly heard someone behind you, the sound of their footsteps in the snow catching your attention. The dark chuckle that left their lips made you freeze in horror. “You thought you could run away from me, didn’t you?” he said, making you turn around. He could see the fear in your eyes, and he loved it. You moved backwards, kicking your feet as best you could and used your elbows.

The moment Changmin pounced on you, you screamed as you felt a sharp pain in your side. Eric heard your scream, and felt his heart beating faster. Your scream sounded close, and he was scared. As soon as he turned round the corner, he saw you lying on the ground, crying in pain. He saw Changmin standing beside you, looking over at Eric as he smirked. Eric yelled and ran over to you, not caring about Changmin. He noticed there was blood coming out of your side, and he put pressure on it, making you whimper out of pain. “It’s ok, baby. Just stay with me, ok? I’ll try and call for help”, Eric tried to stay calm but on the inside, he was panicking. 

He got his phone out, trying to call for an ambulance. Unfortunately there was no signal, either because of the weather or because of their location, he doesn’t know. You felt yourself slipping into unconsciousness, Eric noticing your eyes closing. “Baby, stay awake for me, we’ll get out of here and get you to safety, no matter what”, Eric said, one hand on your wound and the other holding your hand. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t keep your eyes open. Everything then went black, the last thing you heard was Eric’s cries.

--------------------------------

You woke up around 6am, ready for another day of school. You didn’t want to go to school, but you know your parents wouldn’t let you skip a day of school. You made a new friend who was 2 years older than you, called Changmin. Well, you were his friend at first, before his behaviour changed. He started off as friendly, kind and laid back. After a few weeks of being friends with him, you noticed his behaviour change drastically. He started being aggressive towards anyone who got close to you, anyone who was being friendly towards you. 

He became obsessed with you. Always messaging you and calling you, getting angry whenever you didn’t answer. You were starting to get freaked out, wanting to end the friendship with him. 

You got out of bed and started getting yourself ready for school. You did your usual morning routine and put your uniform on, and had something to eat, then left the house at exactly 7:15am. Putting your headphones in, you walked to the bus stop and waited for the school bus to arrive. 

Throughout the whole journey to school, your phone kept getting notification after notification, several messages from Changmin. It really annoyed you that he wouldn’t get the hint, even after telling him to stop. He just wouldn’t listen. 

The bus arrived outside the school, you the first one getting off. Music still plays in your ears as you enter the school, going straight towards where your first class is. Luckily you were a few minutes early, being the first one in the classroom. You sat down in your seat, still listening to music as you waited for everyone else to arrive.

The day started off smoothly, which is surprising to you. You turned your phone off so you wouldn’t be annoyed by the amount of notifications coming from it, and you got on with your work. Lunch finally came around and you left the class, going to find your friends so you could have lunch with them.

You were on your way towards your friend's class, so you could wait for them when they left. You were minding your own business when you felt someone grab you, making you scream. The person turned you around, and you saw him. Changmin.

“Changmin?! What the fuck? Don’t just grab me like that”, you scolded him, feeling uncomfortable being in his presence. He didn’t even care that you felt uncomfortable as he just continued to stare at you. 

“Why have you been ignoring my messages? You know I don’t like it when people ignore me”, he said as he got closer to you, making you take a step back. You gave him a glare and rolled your eyes, which Changmin didn’t like at all. As you were about to turn around and leave, Changmin grabbed your arm and pulled you into an empty classroom, ignoring your screams and cries.

Changmin pushed you to the ground, before locking the door behind him. You turned around to crawl away from him, but he was quicker than you and grabbed your ankles, dragging you towards him and got on top of you. You started thrashing around underneath him, screaming bloody murder. 

“Get off me!”, you screamed at the top of your lungs, struggling against him. Changmin grabbed the material of your shirt, gripping it tightly. You were scared he was going to rip your shirt, so you tried to take his hands off of you but it was no use.

“If you didn’t constantly ignore me, this wouldn’t have happened, would it doll?” Changmin said, smirking down at you. He loved the fear in your eyes, loved how vulnerable you were in that very moment. He grabbed something from his pocket, your eyes watching his every move. The moment you saw the glimmer of shiny metal, you froze. He was holding a knife.

He placed the blade against your cheek, dragging it lightly across the flesh. The blade slightly dug into your skin, blood trickling down your cheek. He then dragged the blade down your chest and across your stomach, slightly piercing the skin through your shirt, making you groan in pain.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door, making Changmin drop the knife. You screamed to the person behind the door, but your scream was soon cut off as Changmin started strangling you, making you struggle. You thrashed around under him, kicking your feet out.

You feel yourself losing consciousness, the oxygen struggling to reach your lungs due to your airways being constricted. The moment you feel yourself about to pass out, the door suddenly comes crashing down: someone had kicked the door open. 

As soon as the door came crashing down, the noise alerted Changmin, causing him to release his hands from around your neck. You took that moment to grab the knife and strike Changmin, aiming to strike the blade in his neck.

As soon as you were about to strike, Changmin looked back at you and grabbed the knife, his hand coming into contact with the blade, cutting his hand. He didn’t seem to care though as he stared down at you with that same smirk. He took the knife off you, and you thought he wasn’t going to do anything by the way he moved backwards. 

Sadly that wasn’t the case.

He struck the knife in your left shoulder, and then in the right side of your stomach, making you scream out in pain. The sound of your screams drowned out the commotion happening outside of the classroom, the sound of police storming into the school.

Changmin was taken away while you were rushed to hospital immediately. Your parents were contacted by one of the doctors in your care. Your parents immediately rushed to the hospital, seeing your unconscious body on the hospital bed.

The moment you woke up, you saw both of your parents sitting beside your bed, and you ached all over. You got told by the doctor that Changmin was locked up, and that you were now safe. Your parents felt guilty for not realising there was something going on, and for not being able to help, to which you reassured them that it’s fine, even though everything that happened wasn’t fine.

You found out through the news that Changmin had been locked up in a mental institution, and you finally came to terms that you were finally safe from him.

--------------------------------

Eric rushed into the hospital, following behind the paramedics who were pushing your unconscious body on a stretcher. He had tears streaming down his cheeks, his vision blurry. He was feeling many emotions at the same time: anger, fear, sadness, frustration, nausea. He wanted to keep following you, but he felt like he was going to throw up so he ran into the bathroom, and threw up in a toilet in one of the stalls.

After he felt like he was done vomiting in the toilet, he cleaned himself up and left the bathroom. All he could do was wait for you and hope for the best. He felt the anger bubble up inside him, wanting to go after Changmin and make him regret ever leaving that place. He clenched his fists, the skin going white as his nails dug into his palm, drawing blood, but he didn’t care.

It felt like an eternity of him sitting in the waiting room. Doctors and nurses walking back and forth, calling family members of other patients to either tell them the good news or bad news, people crying to their loved ones. Eric was getting more and more anxious as time went on, gripping his hair as he felt more tears flow down his cheeks.

About an hour or two passed, and a doctor walked over to Eric. Eric shot up immediately, hoping for some good news. “How is she? Please tell me she is ok”, Eric said, his voice shaky. The doctor gave him a small smile, which Eric knew was good news.

“She’s just sleeping at the moment, but you can go see her. She’s rather lucky to be alive, you know? About an inch to the left and she would have been hit in the artery, causing her to bleed out. Her shoulder and side are patched up and hopefully, she’ll be home by the end of the week”, the doctor said, walking with Eric to your room. 

Eric walked into your room, seeing you lying on the hospital bed. You had more colour in your cheeks, not looking as pale as you were before. Your shoulder and side was now bandaged, your wounds stitched up.

He sat by your bed, holding your hand gently. He rubbed his thumb over your hand, looking at you with gentle eyes. He just sat there, waiting for you to wake up.

When you woke up, Eric was asleep beside you, slouched in the chair. You groaned as you got up slowly, the machine’s beeping getting quicker. The sound alerted Eric, waking him up. He saw that you were awake, immediately getting out of his chair.

“She’s awake! Oh my god, you’re ok”, Eric yelled to one of the nurses, getting their attention. He kissed your forehead and held your hand as he sat down again. The first thing you asked when you woke up was, “did they catch Changmin?”, to which Eric replied that he wasn’t too sure. He cared more about you being ok more than anything, he didn’t care about Changmin. 

The doctor walked into your room with a clipboard, and did a few more check ups on you to make sure everything was normal, and then left the room, giving you and Eric some alone time. You moved over along on the bed, letting Eric lie on it with you, and brought you in for a hug, kissing your head. You couldn’t wait to be back at home, the comfort of your own bed with Eric.

--------------------------------

It was finally Christmas Day, and you couldn’t be happier. You were still in pain, but you have medication to help manage it. You were the first one to wake up, looking over at Eric’s sleeping face. He looked really peaceful, his lips pouty as he slept. His cheeks puffy and squishy, you wanted to poke them, so that’s what you did.

Eric felt something, or someone, poking his cheek and opened one eye. That’s when he saw you staring at him with a smile on your face. He couldn’t be mad at you when you look so cute. Besides, it’s Christmas.

“Merry Christmas, babe”, Eric said, his voice hoarse from sleep. He sat up and kissed your cheek, bringing you in for a hug, being careful not to accidentally hit your side or your shoulder.

“Merry Christmas, baby. Come on, let’s go downstairs”, you said, kissing Eric’s cheek before getting out of bed, slipping on one of Eric’s t-shirts, which goes down to your knees. Eric followed behind you, not bothering to put a t-shirt on as he slipped on a pair of sweatpants. 

You both walked into the living room, turning the tv on and putting the volume on quiet, so it was on as background noise. You both sat down on the couch, getting ready to exchange gifts to each other.

You opened the last gift from Eric, which was a beautiful silver locket, which had a picture of you and Eric inside. The pictures were from when you first started dating, and a recent selfie you took together. You teared up, feeling emotional at how thoughtful Eric is.

“I love it, thank you”, you said, kissing him softly. Eric helped you put the necklace on, and admired you. Suddenly, the television caught your attention as the news popped up, and you turned the volume up. 

“We are live here in Seoul, as the police have Ji Changmin surrounded at a gas station. The 23 year old has locked himself inside the building, and he has a weapon”

The both of you focused on the screen, the reporter moving out of the way as the scene behind him got more clear. There were about a dozen police officers surrounding the gas station, like the reporter said, and they were all shouting for Changmin to surrender, or they would start shooting.

It was quiet for a moment, until Changmin came out of the building, his hands up in the air. He walked forward slowly towards the police, surrendering. That was, until he pulled 2 guns out of his pocket, and started shooting. The police officers started shooting back at him, bullets piercing his chest as he soon fell to the floor, blood pouring out of him, surrounding him.

You watched the whole scene in front of you, shocking you. You felt relieved, safe. You could finally breathe again without the worry of Changmin coming to get you. You started crying, Eric pulling you into his arms as he calms you down.

After about 5 minutes, you had stopped crying and felt calm again, Eric pulling away from you. “I have one more present for you, stay here”, Eric said as he left the room, leaving you confused. He came back a minute later, his hands behind his back. 

He sat down on the floor in front of you, and looked up at you. “Lee y/n, I love you with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I hope you feel the same way as I do. So, will you do the honour of becoming my wife?” Eric opened a small, velvet box and revealed a beautiful diamond ring.

More tears streamed down your face as you nodded, repeatedly saying the word ‘yes’, slipping the ring on your finger. You got off the couch and hugged Eric, the both of you tumbling down on the floor, you on top of him. “I love you Eric and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you”. 

[sarahmadpeople]

Do you forgive me, hyungs?

Summary: Kingdom Legendary War au - What if during O Sole Mio performance, Eric dropped the staff they were supposed to be holding while dancing?

Tags: pure angst, little to no comfort, sad ending, mcd

Warnings: mcd, physical attack

Word count: 4k+

Disclaimer: i don’t own any of the boys (except original characters) and this is purely fiction,, not a medical expert so medical scenes might not be accurate,,

a/n: back with yet another eric angst fic and this might be one of the most angsty i’ve written for the boyz,, wrote this about 2 years ago hehe do lemme know what you think :)) hope yall enjoyy ~~

~

It was just yesterday but it felt like it was just a minute ago that Eric made two grave mistakes, possibly costing The Boyz their ranking in Kingdom.

Eric remembered clearly how he stumbled and tripped over his freaking leg during the first chorus of O Sole Mio. He remembered clearly how he dropped the stick during the dance break. Eric remembered clearly how Juyeon, Q and Sunwoo looked so angry and screamed at him when they reached the waiting room. And Eric remembered clearly how disappointed his hyungs were when it was announced they got 6th place.

"ERIC! See what you've done! We're now in 6th place and if it wasn't because of your two stupid mistakes, we wouldn't be in this position now! Everyone's exhausted with the constant practice, and you had to go and ruin all our efforts to climb the ranking! I can't believe this! I'm so done with you!" Juyeon shouted, the first thing he did when they reached home. He was so livid at Eric for making two, not even one, but two mistakes. He couldn't even look at Eric so he stormed to his room leaving the maknae shaking in the living room.

"Yah! If you don't want to help us, then there's no point in practicing so hard and being with us" Sunwoo's words hurt so much. Eric turned to look whether he was joking but the expression on Sunwoo's face said otherwise. Eric froze, looking at Sunwoo's retreating back as he went into his room.

"You are unbelievable Eric. How could you do this to us? Is this not important to you? Juyeon and Sunwoo's right. I'm so done with you!" Q shouted at Eric's face before storming to his room too.

Eric startled from his frozen state by the slamming of the door.

"Eric-ah, let's go" Younghoon gently wrapped his fingers around Eric's wrist and pulled him into their shared bedroom. Younghoon took Eric's sleeping clothes, placed it in Eric's arms and brought him to the bathroom.

"Take a quick shower. I'll wait for you outside," Younghoon went out and heard the shower turn on.

It took Eric only 15 minutes to shower and put on his clothes before going out. Younghoon quietly took Eric back to their bedroom where they both saw Haknyeon sitting on Eric's bed.

Eric took a seat next to Haknyeon and Younghoon joined them. Not even a minute, tears sprang from Eric's eyes and then he was crying. Younghoon and Haknyeon's hearts broke looking at their crying maknae. They knew that the others were being too harsh on their youngest, mistakes are inevitable and although Eric's mistakes were quite serious, he didn't deserve to be shouted at like that.

They sat, huddled together, for about 15 minutes before Younghoon felt a weight on his shoulder. He looked down and saw the poor boy cried himself to sleep.

Haknyeon helped Younghoon tuck Eric in before the both of them gave Eric a goodnight forehead kiss like they always do.

"Haknyeon-ah, do you want to sleep here tonight?" Younghoon suddenly asked, feeling that it's best if Haknyeon slept in their room.

Haknyeon thought about it and replied, "Mian hyung, I'd love to but I don't want Hyunjae hyung to sleep alone."

Younghoon nodded, he understood what Haknyeon meant. "Goodnight Haknyeon, have a good rest," Younghoon hugged Haknyeon before the younger one left for his bedroom.

~

[present time]

"All right, before we start the practice for the next performance, I want to diffuse the tension here," Daehyun hyung, their choreographer, started off, "I know what happened during the last round upset and disappointed everyone. And it might have cost you your ranking. But I want you to shake it off today so that we can move on from that to the next performance."

"Eric," Daehyun hyung faced the said boy, "I'm going to be honest with you all right, the mistakes were serious in a sense that it affected the performance as a whole. They were not small mistakes but rather big ones that caught audiences' attention. So, I hope that from now on you try your best to ensure you won't make grave mistakes like you did previously. Understood?"

Eric nodded and thanked his lucky stars that their trainer didn't shout at him like his hyungs did.

"Hyungs, I sincerely apologise from the bottom of my heart for making the mistakes. I'm sorry for causing us to be in 6th place…" Eric choked up but then he continued, "I know it's hard to forgive me but I promise, I'll try my best to not make anymore mistakes." Eric bowed down on his knees, really hoping his hyungs could forgive him. He couldn't live with his hyungs being angry at him for a long time.

Younghoon approached Eric and pulled him up to stand.

"I don't expect the rest of you to forget about this but I hope you won't be angry at Eric for long. You are together as one group so I hope you'll forgive Eric and move on from this." Daehyun hyung then announced the start of practice.

"The choreography I've prepared for Monster focuses on synchronisation and there's going to be a stunt in it." As soon as Daehyun hyung said the word 'stunt', Eric's face lit up and he immediately volunteered to do it. Fortunately, Daehyun hyung agreed to it and Eric knew this was an opportunity for him to redeem himself.

However, Eric's smile faltered when he heard that Hyunjae and Juyeon were going to be the support. He subconsciously winced as Juyeon's words from yesterday rang in his ears. He prayed that this stunt could help him gain the forgiveness of hyungs.

Daehyun informed them that they were going to practice the stunt first before moving on with the dance moves.

Eric felt Juyeon's hard grip around his left wrist. Eric looked at Juyeon and shuddered when the older glared at him. Eric hid the wince as the grip became harder. He looked over to Hyunjae and the elder didn't seem angry but he was not smiling either, so Eric was unsure if Hyunjae was still angry at him. Despite this, Eric put his absolute trust in his hyungs in order to successfully do the stunt.

Luck was playing with Eric, his first attempt at doing the stunt failed horribly as he didn't manage to land on his two feet. Instead, after he was lifted and yanked to the front, he crashed his back on the floor. The air seemed to leave Eric's chest as he crashed. It took him a minute before trying to get up.

It wasn't his two supporting hyungs who helped him up but Haknyeon who rushed to Eric, after seeing Eric struggling to get up.

"Eric-ah, are you okay?" Haknyeon asked, he was worried if the maknae sustained an injury.

"I'm okay hyung, don't worry, thank you for helping me," Eric thanked him then turned to Daehyun, "hyung, I'm sorry, let me try doing it again."

Daehyun nodded and they got to their position before trying it again. And, it was a successful attempt. Eric smiled, but nobody else smiled except Daehyun hyung, Younghoon and Haknyeon.

"Nice work, Eric. You'll just have to practice more to make it more smooth and to ensure you always make a successful landing because don't think The Boyz could take anymore huge mistakes, okay," Daehyun commented and Eric nodded, he understood the importance of this move.

The Boyz continued practice with other dance moves before they ended the day at 1 am.

The boys were driven back home by their manager, Jibeom hyung. As they arrived, all 11 boys thanked their manager and bid him goodbye before going in.

"Hyungs, do you want to eat? I can cook something for all of you" Eric asked but the only replies were slams of bedroom doors. He heard Younghoon sighed beside him, "Eric-ah, it's okay. Let's just wash up then go to bed, okay."

Eric looked at Younghoon and the latter could see the maknae's eyes glistening with tears. He pulled Eric into the bathroom and told Eric to take a quick shower while he retrieved Eric's clothes.

The routine, Eric noticed, was the same as the night before. Younghoon and Haknyeon were already on his bed and once he sat in between them, the tears came. Eric, once again, cried himself to sleep. Once they tucked Eric in and kissed his forehead, Younghoon pulled Haknyeon aside.

"I'm worried, Haknyeon-ah. I don't want Eric to overwork himself just to redeem himself for the mistakes he did. And the others don't seem to talk to him or do anything with him. I have no doubt that Eric's going to feel down if this prolongs." Younghoon voiced his worries.

"I understand hyung and I feel the same. I think as of now, we'll let the others cool down and if they are still treating Eric like this nearing the performance day, then we'll sit everyone together and discuss again." Haknyeon suggested before telling Younghoon to get some rest and he left for his room with Hyunjae.

~

The next morning found Eric eating his breakfast alone. After he got ready, he went to their dining table and saw his hyungs there, but as he sat down, Juyeon, Q and Sunwoo immediately got up and went into their rooms. The other hyungs slowly got up, saying they had to get themselves ready before Jibeom hyung came to pick them up. At least, Younghoon and Haknyeon were still there as they were cleaning up.

But Eric couldn't help but feel his heart break. Were the mistakes he made during the performance too severe to make his hyungs ignore and treat him like this? Suddenly, Eric lost his appetite. He nibbled on the toast given by Younghoon and just finished half of it before retreating to his room.

Younghoon and Haknyeon looked at each other. Although they had hopes that the situation was going to get better, they knew that it was bound to get worse. The two members knew they needed to do something to resolve the issue. But it slipped off their minds as they were kept busy with practice, recordings and other schedules.

As the performance day drew near, Eric kept staying up late to smooth his dance moves and write his rap lyrics.

"Aish, why can't I get this rap to sound nice? I should ask Sunwoo for help, hopefully he'll help me," Eric said to himself, one night, as he was working on his rap.

Eric threw away the fear of asking help from Sunwoo, as the latter was still angry at him, and went to find Sunwoo.

"Sunwoo, can you please help me with my rap? I can't seem to get the rhythm right and -" Eric didn't even finish talking when Sunwoo shut his studio door on Eric's face.

Eric stood there, dumbfounded. He knew his friend was still angry but he didn't expect Sunwoo to shut the door on him and refuse to help him.

Eric walked back to his studio room slowly and after calming himself down, he continued to work on his rap before sending it to their trainer for vetting.

"What the hell is this crap, Eric! You call this rap? It's monotonous and there's no uniqueness whatsoever. I refuse to include this in your performance. You either redo the rap or don't have any part at all!" Their trainer, Hwiyoung hyung, scolded Eric in front of the rest of his hyungs the next day. Eric didn't dare to look at his trainer so he kept his gaze on the floor.

"Sunwoo," Hwiyoung hyung addressed, "please assist Eric in his rap seeing you've done a good job with yours." And boy did Eric's heart break again hearing his trainer's words. Sunwoo just nodded but he was not amused to be tasked with helping Eric; he was still angry at him.

"All of you are dismissed." Hwiyoung hyung announced and the boys went straight to their dance studio for dance practice.

~

Daehyun hyung saw Eric's sad expression as he went into the room. "Eric-ah, are you okay?" Daehyun hyung asked as he walked over to the maknae. Eric smiled, though half-heartedly, and nodded his head because he couldn't trust himself to say anything without it resulting in him crying.

Daehyun hyung had suspected that Eric was having a hard time ever since he made the mistakes during the previous performance. Daehyun just nodded and asked Eric to get ready for practice, he didn't want to push the younger one and cause him to break down.

They started practice and went over the stunt numerous times. Daehyun hyung decided to cut practice a bit short since he could see the boys looking very tired; he was not stupid, Daehyun hyung knew the members were staying up late to practice.

"Boys, let's end practice. Go home and get some rest. We'll continue tomorrow" Daehyun got the boys and back-up dancers to pack up before sending them out of the practice studio.

As they got home, Eric asked his hyungs if they wanted dinner as they had a light lunch during practice. Nobody answered. Eric sighed and went into his shared room with Younghoon and saw his hyung asleep.

Eric went back out and asked Jibeom hyung to drive him to the company. "Eric-ah, why do you want to go back to the company? I thought you boys were given time to rest." Jibeom hyung asked as Eric entered the van.

"I need to redo my rap, hyung," Eric answered.

Jibeom turned, facing Eric. "Eric-ah, couldn't you do that tomorrow? You should rest, not stay up late again like you've done for the past few days. What would your hyungs say if they know you're not resting"

Eric winced, "Don't worry hyung, they won't care." Then he muttered under his breath, 'they're barely even looking at me, how are they going to care if I'm not resting.'

Jibeom hyung wanted to argue but then they arrived at the building and Eric thanked his manager before rushing in. Jibeom hyung shook his head, seeing the youngest's antics.

~

The timing on the clock showed that it was nearing 4 am. Eric was still awake rewriting his rap over and over again. Suddenly, the door slammed open and Eric saw Sunwoo coming in.

"Yah! Do your rap! This part here…" Sunwoo began helping Eric and soon he was done and as he was about to thank Sunwoo, the latter stormed off, clearly not wanting to be around Eric anymore than he should.

The tears came again, as it always does for the past days. Eric let himself cry, not bothering to hold in his emotions. No one was coming in to check on him anyway so he had the room to himself.

Truth to be said, Eric didn't understand why his hyungs are still angry at him and why his other hyungs are ignoring him. The past days ever since the previous performance were taxing for Eric; not only was he dealing with his own guilt of making the grave mistakes, he was also feeling very down as he could not lean on any of his hyungs for comfort and support. He got scolded by his vocal trainer due to his rap and nobody seemed to care about it after. He stayed up late almost every night and nobody seemed to care. Well, Daehyun, Jibeom, Younghoon and Haknyeon hyungs might be the only ones who still cared enough to talk to him and check on him.

In two days time, they'll be performing Monster. Eric told himself to bear with it until then because he was sure once he performed with no mistakes, his hyungs would be back to normal with him, cuddling and joking around with him.

But nobody, including Eric, would've thought such a grave incident would fall upon them.

~

"Good job everyone!" The Boyz just finished performing Monster by Exo.

Daehyun hyung could see, from the place he was standing at, the smile and pride that Eric wore after he slayed the stunt, his rap and overall choreography. As he saw Eric descend down the stairs, Daehyun approached with a big smile, "Good job Eric-ah, you've done a very nice job. I'm very proud of you," Daehyun pulled Eric into a big, warm hug.

"Thank you hyung, for everything. For giving me the opportunity to do the stunt, for guiding me and for believing that I could do it" Daehyun could see tears in Eric's eyes, "Yah, don't cry. You did well, and look who's here," Daehyun turned Eric around for him to see Younghoon and Haknyeon bouncing over to them.

"Eric-ah!" Younghoon shouted, "Although I watched you from the waiting room, I was so proud of you! Good job! You killed it, your stunt, your rap, your dance. Everything!" Younghoon, too, hugged Eric in a tight embrace, feeling so proud of his maknae.

"Your stunt was amazing, Eric-ah, I'm so glad you pulled it off so well" Haknyeon also joined the hug with Younghoon and Eric.

Eric giggled in the hug, "Thank you hyungs. I appreciate it, and I couldn't have done it without Daehyun hyung, you both and the other hyungs," as soon as Eric mentioned the other hyungs, Daehyun, Younghoon and Haknyeon could see the sadness washed over the smile Eric was wearing earlier on.

"It's okay Eric-ah, I'm sure they'll come around soon. You've redeemed yourself already." Younghoon assured Eric, who looked sceptical but nodded along.

They then went ahead to their waiting room. Nobody greeted Eric, telling him he did a good job. The tension was still obvious among them so Eric decided to get some air outside. Besides, his hyung must be glad that he's not in the room with them. Eric quickly went out after telling Jibeom hyung where he was going.

~

As Eric reached the secluded area outside the building, he took a deep breath in and breathed out. Eric realised that whatever he did for the performance might not be enough to redeem himself. But what was he going to do to make his hyung forgive him? In deep thoughts, Eric didn't notice 4 people creeping up towards him.

Out of the blue, Eric felt a sharp pain in his head and immediately he went down to the ground. The 4 people started to throw punches and kicks to Eric. "You don't deserve to be in The Boyz," one of them said. "You bring shame to them and their fans," Eric heard another person say. The kicks and punches continued and suddenly, Eric felt another sharp pain in his chest followed by the same pain in his abdomen. Eric looked down and saw blood gushing out from what Eric perceived as stab wounds. 'God, this hurts so much,' Eric said to himself.

The 4 perpetrators continued beating Eric until they were satisfied and ran away before getting caught.

In his weak state, Eric was not able to call out for help. He laid there, surrendering to his fate. Eric thought of who did this to him and came to a conclusion that they were anti-fans, of his most probably.

His thoughts then changed over to his hyungs, his beloved hyungs. Although the past few days, they've treated him poorly because of his mistakes, he still loves them. His hyungs were there for him the whole time and he regrets not being able to tell them for one last time that he loves them.

Eric's eyes began drooping and soon, Eric's eyes closed, his last thoughts were of his hyungs.

~

"Guys, we should stop treating Eric this way. We need to stop ignoring him, shouting at him for no reason. He made no mistakes today, he redeemed himself already so cut the act out," Younghoon addressed the situation at hand.

"Hyungs, if we keep this up, Eric's going to break down and I'm not sure if we could pick him up after. The way we've been treating him is so bad, hyungs. It's not like Eric purposely made the mistakes. Please, let's just forgive him and treat him normally, like he deserves as a human being." Haknyeon added.

The rest of the members kept quiet, pondering upon what was said by Younghoon and Haknyeon.

Finally, Sangyeon spoke up, "You're right, we've been very harsh to Eric. We need to forgive him and apologise for our actions towards him the past week. Younghoon, Haknyeon, could you go and find Eric, so that we could talk about this a bit, at least, before we're called for the evaluation."

~

Younghoon and Haknyeon went out and went straight to where Eric said he was going. As they reached the place, nothing could ever prepare them for what they were going to see.

"Eric!" Younghoon shouted then ran towards the familiar body of his maknae lying on the cold pavement with blood pouring out of the wounds visible on his body.

"Haknyeon, go and get Jibeom hyung and tell him Eric's hurt badly and needs an ambulance. Go!" Haknyeon never knew he could run so fast and in a flash, he reached his manager hyung and relayed what happened.

Younghoon was panicking but he stayed strong for his youngest dongsaeng. He put pressure on Eric's stab wounds and as he looked up, he saw Eric's eyes fluttered open.

"Eric-ah, hyung's here. Stay with me okay, please stay with me. All the other hyungs forgive you, Eric. We all forgive you so please stay with me. We love you, Eric" Younghoon couldn't fight the tears as they rolled down his cheeks.

Eric placed his palm over Younghoon's hands, a tear slid past Eric's eyes before he went slacked.

"No!!!! Eric-ah!!!" Younghoon screamed at the top of his lungs and Haknyeon never wanted to hear that ever again.

Haknyeon saw the ambulance arriving and took Eric to the hospital as quickly as they could.

~

The rain that poured over the earth was a companion to the sobs heard coming from 10 members of a boy group. They sat, huddled together, crying as they mourned over their youngest dongsaeng. Guilt hung over them as they were unable to apologise to their maknae for their behaviours, unable to voice out and show their love to their maknae.

"Boys," the 10 members looked up and saw Jibeom hyung, his eyes and nose were red, walking into their living room.

"There's no news about the ones who did this yet but the police assured that they are doing the best they can to catch these people." Jibeom hyung told the boys.

"What about Eric?" Jacob croaked out.

Jibeom looked at them then said, "There are no changes as of yet. The doctor's are still unsure if he's going to wake up. And if he does, he would need a lot of support from us. His injuries are severe; the bleeding in his brain, the blood loss and the broken bones, all might have done major damage. We'll not know for sure until he wakes up. So have faith and pray that he does wake up. And when he does, we're going to be there for him all the way and you boys can tell him how all of you love him very much and that you forgive him. Okay?"

The boys nodded and vowed, when Eric wakes up, they'll be there and be the best hyungs for him.

~

Hopes were shattered when the boys received news from Jibeom hyung 4 weeks after the incident.

"I'm sorry but Eric is gone," Jibeom croaked out, clearly crying as he relayed the devastating news to the boys.

"The doctors tried everything they could but it was time for Eric to go."

Tears were evident on everyone's face. They lost their maknae, lost a part of their life, lost the chance to redeem their behaviour and apologise to their youngest. Everyone huddled together in the living room, grieving and mourning for their precious loss. Except for one person.

Younghoon retreated to his shared bedroom with Eric. He took the picture frame that was standing on the bedside table. It was a picture of the whole group at the beach during one of their breaks with Eric in the middle and his hyungs hugging him.

Younghoon traced his fingers over Eric's face, "I miss you, maknae. 4 weeks without you and your chatters, your jokes, your pranks. I never stop praying and hoping you'd wake up, but I guess it's time for you to go, like Jibeom hyung said. I wish for you to have a good rest up there and be happy as usual. I'm sorry, Youngjae. Love you brother."

Younghoon embraced the frame and layed on Eric's bed.

"Thanks Younghoon hyung, I love my hyungs too," he heard Eric whispered, and smiled tearfully.

~

no harm meant for anybody, i love the boyz ~~ sorry for any mistakes and i’d appreciate any feedbacks/comments ^^ thanks for reading!!

[sohnric]

BELOVED — E. SOHN

pairing: eric sohn x fem! reader

genre: hurt/comfort, friends to lovers. angst, fluff. the tiniest bit of swimmer! eric for some reason. wrote this in a moment of weakness handle with care!! :~)

word count: 2.4k

warnings: reader is said to be red in the face from the cold (alludes to specific skin color - im sorry i wrote this for me only and yall just get to read it), swearing, insecurity and jealousy, unspecified mental illness (?)

a/n: once again thank you to @csenke for beta reading and encouraging me to post this :p and also for existing. ily <3 btw swimmer eric is such a concept it gave us both whiplash maybe i need to revisit this in a full fic....

The coldness of the crisp evening makes you sniffle, your bones freezing and fingers going numb even in the comfort of your coat pockets. Your brain is full of thoughts fighting amongst each other, running around and hitting the corners of your head, slowly causing you an annoying migraine. You now regret not taking your headphones with you, because the music could help you drown out the noise of your inner voice, but the you from an hour ago that decided to go on a walk to clear your head had other plans for you, so you now have to suffer the stream of your thoughts instead. The stream is so loud you swear you can hear it resonating through the silent campus, but you know that’s a foolish thought, so you fight it away with a bitter chuckle.

Eyes zeroing on the orange fluorescent lights coming from inside of the building you’re standing in front of, you start feeling a little silly for coming here. It’s not like you think you’d be sent away, but there’s also that little bugging voice inside of your brain that keeps reminding you that you weren’t invited. Your feet have dragged you here without your consent or order. One moment, you were walking down the river, shuddering from the cold, and the other, you found yourself in front of the pool– as if the tugging of your heart was stronger than your own brain, stronger than your own thoughts.

Sometimes you feel bad for taking it all out on him. At least that’s what you suppose you’re doing– with your annoyed remarks whenever he checks in on you, with your sighs whenever he asks what’s wrong. It’s not like he’s incorrect with his suspicions– he always somehow knows you’re in a bad mood, no matter how hard you try to mask it– you just don’t often feel like discussing the matter with him. Or anyone, really. Sometimes, you feel bad for pushing him away or not texting him back. Sometimes you feel truly shitty for the fact that you can’t open up to him, no matter how hard you try. 

And sometimes, you just truly think that he wouldn’t care. It’s weird how your mind works– someone could spend so much time with you, making memories together and laughing at your jokes, yet, your mind could convince you that they don’t really like you at all in the first place. That this is some sort of a game they’re playing, trying to see how long you can stay convinced that they enjoy your presence in their life before you notice and they step away. You don’t even know where this conviction is coming from. If you knew, maybe you could fix it. If you could locate it, you’d try to delete the flawed code from your system. 

Sometimes, you think he doesn’t care about how you are, what you’re doing, what you think. It has nothing to do with the way he treats you; more so with the anxiety nibbling at the corners of your brain whenever he talks to anyone else– with the constant fear of being replaced, of having him find someone better, someone less difficult to be friends with. In its full essence, the image is terrifying. You think your world would crumble if you lost another person in your life.

More so, you think your world would crumble if you lost him. You recognize that there’s a constant desire in the depths of your heart to be someone’s favorite– his favorite– to be the person someone would choose in a room full of people. To be the one they walk up to first with a smile and their arms wide open. 

And it’s silly. You’re his best friend. He tells you so every day. It’s the way you’re introduced to everyone out of his circle that you meet on parties or at campus.

Admittedly, you like hearing him say it. Best friend– the title shows you’re the best at something: at being his companion, at making him laugh, at being there for him, whatever it is that you do to earn that sticker. The title shows that you’re somebody’s favorite– his favorite– and it makes you deeply satisfied with yourself. It makes you proud, even. 

Some days, you still have a hard time believing it, though. Some days, you still feel stranded. Lonely. Isolated. It’s weird. 

Somehow, your heart, your feet and the unconscious part of your brain took you right where you knew you’d find him. You didn’t choose to go here– if you realized you were nearing the building, you would’ve even tried to stop yourself– and as you contemplate turning on your heel and going back home, hell, you even take the first step away from the pools, the sound of the main door opening and his voice calling for you makes you halt in your movements, gluing you to the pavement. 

Sometimes, the heart knows what it needs even before you get a chance to register it.

“Y/N! How long have you been standing there?” he calls after you, making you bite down on your lower lip. There’s no escaping him now– you guess it’s for the better, though.

Turning towards him, a guilty look spreading over your features, you shrug. “Not long.”

“It’s freezing out here! Why didn’t you come inside?” he asks, a wrinkle forming in between his eyebrows as he walks closer to you, his friends from the swim team patting his back and saying their goodbyes to the two of you as they pass the commotion on their way out.

“I didn’t want to intrude your practice,” you peep, sniffling a little from the cold.

“Gosh, you always do this,” he says, rolling his eyes at you. He almost looks mad at you, and by the way he raises his voice and throws his arms in the air in frustration, you think you’re correct with assuming he might be. “I texted you the whole day! Hell, I called, even though I know how much you hate phone calls. And I get that you probably didn’t feel like talking, but a simple ‘I'm okay, don’t worry’ text would’ve been nice!”

Dragging his hand through his hair in defeat, he shakes his head at you. “Besides, you can’t just keep shutting me off every time you are having a hard time, for god’s sake! Not only do I worry, but I hate seeing you suffer all alone.”

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you listen patiently to his lecture. You know he’s right– he almost always is, because the rational side of your brain ceases to exist every time your insecurities fail you– so there’s really no aim in trying to argue or fight with him. 

Eric sighs as he steps even closer to you, adjusting the strap of his duffel bag on his shoulder before he reaches for the hood of your jacket and puts it over your head. “You could’ve texted me you were here, I’d leave practice early for you,” he says, voice now softer as he stands in front of you, not really wanting to scream straight into your face. 

You shrug in response, not really knowing what to say. Telling him you contemplated leaving  just seconds before he found you here would make him even more mad with you, so you choose to gloss over that fact. Besides, it’s kind of comforting, the way his words work. The way his presence calms you, makes the screaming match of your thoughts drown out with his firm comments and scolding remarks. His words, although full of frustration, make your insides warm up and your muscles relax, like you’re coming undone.

His face shows concern. His actions speak even louder than his words when he tugs the sides of your hood closer together at your neck, the hole for your head previously exposing your bare skin and making you shiver. “Couldn’t you dress more warmly? Do you want to catch a cold?” he mutters, shaking his head in disbelief. “You scutter here all unannounced, wearing close to nothing, and expect me to not be frustrated with you?”

You study his expression for a while. It’s not often you get to see Eric from so up close, but even in the darkness of the evening, you recognise the familiarity of his close-to-flawless features. Anchoring yourself into his gaze for a second, you move to study the sculpture of his cheekbones, the furrowed nature of his brows, the slope of his cupid’s bone. His hair falls into his eyes, making you instinctively drag your hand up and move his bangs out of the way, having the male wince at the contact of your fingers with his skin. “Hell, your hands are cold! You didn’t even take gloves? It’s minus five degrees outside!” he grunts.

It makes you chuckle. You did something nice for him, yet, there he is– complaining about the fact that you have yet again failed to take care of yourself. “I’m not even surprised, y’know, since you didn’t put on a scarf either, but sometimes I wish this little brain of yours,” he point his finger to the side of your temple, “had better self-preservation instincts,” he finishes as he fishes for something in his pocket.

Taking out his own gloves and holding them up to you so you can slip your numb fingers into the fabric, he continues on with his little tangent. “Next time,” he adds when you’re successfully wearing the warm garment, “text me as soon as you get here, okay? And look outside before you go out, so you know what to wear. Maybe open that little weather app on your home screen, even. Might be helpful,” he jokes, although a little dryly, as he brings out a scarf from his duffel bag, tying it around your neck and almost suffocating you with how tight he wraps it, making sure you’re defrosting under his tender care.

When he’s done dressing you up like a doll, you’re left staring at him speechless. Eric reciprocates the gaze, something gentle, yet worried mirroring behind his dark orbs. There’s comfort lingering in the air now that you’re not so cold, and with the added essence of his existence, the act of living doesn’t seem like such a hassle anymore. You feel lighter, in a way.

“Sorry,” he hums after a heartbeat of silence, “how are you feeling?” he asks, an apologetic look sent your way when he realizes he slipped into a heated lecture again, not knowing that this is exactly what you wanted and unknowingly came here for. (For his furrowed eyebrows and the crease in between them, his worried orbs and words tinted with frustration, showing you that he cares and wants you to be safe. For his little tangent, yet also gentle touches as he takes care of you and makes sure you’re staying warm. For the familiar look in his eyes, whispering to you that you’re the only thing in the whole world that matters to him right in this moment and always, forever.) 

You smile at the clueless boy. It seems to make something in him settle into a more comfortable place. “All better now,” you reply.

“Good,” he says. “God, you look awful,” he jokes– laughing airly to reference the state of your frozen face– cheeks and the tip of your nose red, eyes watery from the wind, hair messily sticking out from the bottom of your hood– as one of his hands comes up to cradle your face and squish your cheeks together, turning your chapped lips into a big pout. The contact of his skin on yours makes your stomach feel light with the contrast of his warm hand on your cold face, all your senses coming alive when his voice drops a few octaves lower, seriousness tinting his tone. “Promise me to take better care of yourself from now on?”

Nodding, not really having it in you to even make a noise, you watch as the male studies your face for a while. In any other circumstance, his gaze would make you shy away, but not now. Not when everything seems suddenly so simple, not when all your worries seem to slip through your fingers. When his eyes point towards your lips– your puckered, dry mouth– a sense of expecting takes over you, a strange kind of excitement buzzing in the tips of your fingertips. When you breathe in through your half-clogged nose, the mixed scent of his fabric softener coming off the scarf tied tightly around your neck and the smell of the shower gel he uses to wash the chlorine off after his swimming practice hits your nose, making you a little light-headed. No words are spoken as the male suddenly leans in and presses a quick peck to your lips.

His warm lips meet with yours in what seems to be a second-long contact, but it’s enough to have the ghost of his touch lingering, enough to make your stomach churn in joy.

The action was so painfully casual– as if it was second nature to him. As if there was no reason for him to contemplate the decision– as if this was what he wanted to do all the time, and so he did it. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words.

Selfishly, though, you must admit you need both– you need the words just as much as the actions. Good thing Eric knows you so well– sometimes you think it’s even more than you know yourself.

“Now come on, let’s get you home,” he hums, hugging you to him with his right arm as you two walk down the sidewalk, “wouldn’t want my beloved girl to freeze to death right here.”

His beloved.

The words resonate in your brain. This time, it’s a good type of screaming match happening with your thoughts– all worries battled, using his sentence to cut out the bad parts like a sharpened knife. This time, your mind is full of fireworks and excited buzzing, sending the happy signals all across your body, helping you fight winter with the power of gentle loving. 

And sure, you know that those feelings might come again. There’s no way of telling when the skeletons will appear, hunting down your happy thoughts. But you know that even if they do, you will always somehow find your way back to Eric, and he’ll make sure to remind you of what you need to hear, and you’ll be okay again.

You guess The Beatles were right after all. Maybe all you need is a little love sometimes.

[sugarcherriess]

This is for the Event if that's okiii?

Trope - being looked after by SO after a terrible surgery gone wrong and ended up being an amputation surgery for (reader)s leg. Maybe there's a breakdown or (reader) has a panic attack ?

Ansgt because we love it

Idols - Chanhee / Eric

Specific idol - Eric

I hope that's okiii

JJ 🍉

I tried bestie i hope you like it🥹

Care Giver x Care Receiver with Eric Sohn ft. Choi Chanhee:

cw - angst, arguments, panic attack

Let’s just understand straight off the bat that Eric is the most supportive s/o

NO. MATTER. WHAT

When you get into a life endangering accident that costs you a limb

He sticks by your side through the days you spend passed out under the influence of anaesthesia

And the days where you gained bare minimum consciousness

He stuck by your side through it

Literally by your bedside stroking your head when the doctors gave him permission

His hand always caressing yours

He’d tell you about his day and your own progress even if the meds made his voice sound like gibberish until you fell asleep

When you do truly wake up for real he’s ecstatic

Kissing all over your face because he missed you so damn much

Gets you water and whatever you ask for

Feeds you and dresses you himself

Even brushes your hair until it shines on itself

You seem to be taking the news of your amputation a lot better than anyone assumed so he’s extra glad about that

Although he does find himself walking on eggshells around you

That ends up being for a good cause

Because its finally time to give you a bath a few days after you woke up

Eric comes into your room bright and early with a change of your clothes and your shower necessities

“The doctors said you’ll be discharged today,” he’d be so happy

“I called Chanhee to bring you some necessary things for the afternoon until we finish the paperwork. Then we can go home!”

And thats when the gravity of your situation really hits you

The breakdown starts slow– with the little things

Like not wanting to eat

Being curt with your answers

Not looking him in the eye

You seem mentally absent and he notices all the signs

He’d approach you carefully

And asks you to tell him what you’re thinking.

“Are you okay, darling?”

And that’s when you explode.

“I lost a fucking limb what do you think?”

“The doctor said you’re already making so much improvement–“

“Fuck the doctor? Why do I care what the doctor says?”

“Baby–“

“No! Don’t baby me?! You think it’s easy to lose a part of yourself so easily? Starting a normal day with all of you intact and then waking up one day and finding out you’ll never be the same again?”

He quietly listens to you let out all your emotions

“It sucks! It fucking sucks! I hate it!”

“I know–“

“No you don’t okay! You’re not in my shoes and you can NEVER know what I feel until you go through the same thing,”

At this point you’re screaming in his face.

You’re angry

And you’re tired

Most importantly you’re hurt beyond comprehension

And Eric sees how hard you’re trying to

“Oh darling,”

And you break down into tears

You sob into his shoulders at he envelopes you in his arms

Until Chanhee pokes his head through the door

You see your best friend and it only worsens your state

Your breathing becomes erratic and your body freezes over.

You can hear your heart beat accelerating in your eardrums

Seven million types of thoughts runs through your head all at once

Chanhee rushes over to you just as Eric holds and rubs your hands

“I-m… so… s-scared…” you cry, “I don’t –“

Another violent sob wracks your body as Eric rubs your hands and Chanhee busies himself rubbing your back.

“I don’t k-know a life without it– How will I live without it,” your jaw starts aching with the pressure on your jaw

“You’ll learn,” Chanhee would encourage from besides your head, “you’ve always been an extraordinarily fast learner. You’ll learn to adapt. Learn to live with this pain until it doesn’t hurt anymore,”

“I know it’s scary baby and i know I can never truly understand your pain,” Eric cups your face, “But i will try. I promise,”

“We’ll both try our best. You’ll always have us alongside you,” Chanhee confirms

Your heart beat begins to gradually calm down at their reassurances.

“You’re allowed to grieve,” Eric begins as he pats your head, “and you’re allowed to be angry for as long as you want. But I won’t let you think that you have to go through this alone,”

Chanhee would chime in then

“We know it won’t be the same as the past, but we can still work with changes. Right?”

You nod your head timidly and he kisses your forehead.

“I feel incomplete,”

They’d rush to hug you and caress your shoulders,

Eric kissing your eyes and wiping your tears away

“It wont last for long. You’ll realise you’re a complete whole, with or without something you’ve never had to live without before,”

Your sob turn into sniffing and when they realise that you’ve considerably calmed down, Chanhee would excuse himself

“I got you some homemade juice. Drink it,” he speaks in his assertive no-shit bestie voice

“I’ll tell a nurse to do a check up on you,” he’d say before leaving you and Eric to talk

Which would just be Eric cuddling you and rubbing your head until you fall asleep with your head in his lap

After you wake up with your bones feeling like they got hit by a truck

He’d help you in the bathtub and wash you up

Then he’d order you (and begrudgingly Chanhee) food

Until you’re all set up to be discharged, with a newfound confidence overpowering your very valid anxieties.

But you know these two dumbasses will do their best with you no matter what.

[marksmelodies]

forever only

idol eric x fem reader

genre: angst, smut, fluff

warnings: suggestive, mentions of sex, unprotected sex, lots of kissing

note: if you haven’t watched eric’s LA vlog on theboyz youtube channel you definitely should before reading this since it’s heavily based on that!

minors dni

—————————————————————————

walking out of your apartment in los angeles you head to your favorite cafe down the street, walking through the door hearing the bell chime as you enter, you order your coffee and sit at a table finishing up some work for college. fall semester just started and it was always the most stressful but this time around you didn’t sign up for many classes making the workload a lot easier to handle

you could finally focus on dance a little more which is your passion ever since you could walk your parents put you in dance and you absolutely flourished. now a college student you spend most of your time teaching dance classes, mostly hip hop because that was more of your style

as you work on your computer with your headphones on you hear a text message notification go off, ignoring it you continue with your work, until it goes off again, you check your phone to see a message from an unknown number

unknown #: hey y/n, it’s been a long time, i hope you’re doing well! i just wanted to let you know that i will be in LA for a few days this week with my group, if you aren’t busy tomorrow, i’m having a get together with miles at my place to meet my members you should come too

unknown #: oh this is eric by the way

your heart immediately drops as a state of nausea washes over your body “ god damn it miles” you cuss under your breath as you call him

“ yo what’s up” he answers the phone

“ you’ve got to be kidding me” you sigh

“ what’s wrong with you?” he asks

“ what’s wrong with me? oh i don’t know maybe what’s wrong with me is i just got a text from eric.. eric sohn” you whisper yell over the phone as you exit the cafe to get some fresh air

“ oh yeah i gave him your number” he laughs

“ why, why would you do that” you yell

“ he asked about you, he wants to see you again y/n” miles sighs

“ i don’t understand why you would give him my phone number after the whole reason why i got a new one was to avoid him”

“ listen y/n it’s been years, don’t you think it’s time to see him again, he asks about you all the time and i’m tired of making up excuses to why you avoid him, he hasn’t been back to los angeles since he left freshman year and the first thing he asked me is if he can possibly see you again while he’s here” miles says

you feel the tears begin to pull from your eyes

“ it’s just really hard for me miles, you don’t think i want to see him too? i want nothing more than to see him again, to see how far he’s come, but i don’t know if my heart is ready for that”

“ i know, but it’s been years maybe it’s time to truly move on and hopefully seeing him can give you enough closure to do so” he says

“ yeah maybe your right” a long pause comes from you before you speak again

“ i’ll go tomorrow” you say

“ good, i’m glad to hear that, everything will be okay i promise” he says, after hanging up the phone you walk back into the cafe packing up your stuff and heading back home,as you sit on the bed looking at the message eric sent you finally get the courage to respond

“ sounds great i’ll be there” you text back before shutting your phone off

you and eric met in middle school, he was popular due to his talent in baseball, all the girls obsessed over him, not you though at least not at first,you had biology class together and eventually got assigned to do a project with one another, after that you two became inseparable, eric introduced you to your now best friend miles and the three of you became the friend group that everyone wanted to be apart of

as time went on you started to have a little crush on eric, that crush only got bigger and bigger as you two got older, eric felt the same way about you, although eric had been in total awe the second he laid his eyes on you for the first time, the more he got to know you the more he fell in love, the summer going into your eighth grade year eric confessed his feelings to you and you confessed back

your relationship with eric was very lighthearted, a simple middle school fling, acting the same way towards eachother as you did when you were just friends maybe with the benefit of hand holding but that was it, to everyone’s surprise you both made it over a year which was super long for a middle school relationship, but you and eric were truly in love and a lot of people underestimated your feelings for each other

you remember the day that eric told you he was leaving to move to korea to pursue his dreams , you were heartbroken but being the supportive person you were you didn’t let him see how sad you were about it, you gave him all the best wishes and the two of you split up on good terms, you both knew it was impossible to continue this relationship when you would be across the world from each other

that wasn’t the last time you saw eric though, once you became a senior in high school you and your dance team got invited to a dance workshop in seoul south korea, of course the universe just had to mess with you because during your trip you ran into him while visiting the han river late one night, one thing led to another and you ended up hooking up with him that night.. and the next morning…in full retrospect the intimate moments you shared with him during that trip was amazing but after you left it made you feel like shit, you kept in contact with eachother for a few months after you saw him but eventually the text messages became less frequent and then just stopped all together, it was your own fault letting him break your heart for the second time, you got your own hopes up, you couldn’t blame him for his inconsistency, you saw how busy his life had become, how hard he worked everyday without a break.

but selfishly you wished sometimes that he would have stayed in LA, become a college student like yourself and the two of you could be together again, maybe even be on the road to getting married and building a life together, you knew that was never in the cards for him, he was meant to be an idol there was no doubt about it but every so often you find yourself thinking about an alternate reality, one where the two of you could be together for good

that night was rough on you, tossing and turning over all the possibilities that could come out of the events of tomorrow, being honest with yourself you don’t even know how you’re going to look him in the eyes without falling in love with him all over again. as if you got over him in the first place, which newsflash.. you never did

waking up in the morning was hard, your alarm blared in your ears as you crawled out of bed. you spent most of the day mentally preparing yourself to see eric again, miles had arrived not too long ago as you were getting yourself ready

“ does this look too slutty” you say doing a turn in your bikini for your best friend

“ no you look good, hurry up though we’re going to be late” he says. quickly throwing on a minidress as a coverup you both leave your place as you head over to eric’s house

“ are you nervous” miles asks noticing your leg shaking up and down as you sit in the passenger seat

“ yeah i am, i feel like im going to throw up everywhere” you respond, finally pulling up to eric’s place you can hear the music playing and some faint yelling coming from the pool

getting out of the car you walk through the back gates to the pool area, standing behind miles trying to shield yourself from the sight of eric. that didn’t work “ miles, y/n, over here” eric waved the two of you down

walking over to the big canopy and a large table filled with a ton of korean dishes you finally stand there in front of eric for the first time in a long time, eric walks up to miles dabbing him up and then turning to you, he smiles at you pulling you into a hug “ im glad you made it y/n it means a lot that you’re here” he says

his familiar scent fills your nostrils causing you to gain a wave of nostalgia, pulling away you flash a tight lipped smile at him. “ guys this is my best friend miles and this is my friend y/n” eric says hesitating on the word friend, his members all smile and wave as you both do the same back

you sit next to miles during dinner, thankfully eric is across the table filming a vlog for the groups youtube channel, once dinner was finished everyone decided to go swimming

setting your stuff down on a chair you begin to take your dress off leaving you in nothing but a tiny bikini, you felt eyes on you, turning around eric’s eyes met yours before he turned away quickly trying not to make it obvious that he was staring at you

“ hey” eric walks up to you “ hey” you respond back looking to the ground “ im sorry if it’s awkward seeing me again” he says itching the back of his neck

“ no it’s fine it’s not awkward” you say completely lying. “ i missed having you around you know” eric says looking into your eyes “ yeah i missed you too” you say as you feel your heart beating out of your chest

he looked so good with nothing but his swim trunks on, his toned upper body out for display. “ let’s go in the pool yeah?” he asks

“ yeah i just have to put my hair up” you say to him as he gives you a look

“ you never changed have you” he laughs “ you’re going to get your hair wet regardless” he rolls his eyes at you

“ fine whatever” you say leaving your hair down

you walk with him to the deep end of the pool, everyone is already in but the two of you, “okay let’s jump in together on the count of three ready..one.. two… three..” eric counts, you had planned to pretend to jump in that way eric would have been the only one to actually jump but eric had the same idea as you

you both laugh as eric approaches you “ no eric don’t” you yell before he pushes you into the pool

quickly swimming up to the surface of the water you put your hand out to eric “ what the hell eric, at least help me out” you yell as eric grabs your hand. before he could pull you up you yank your arm back pulling him into the water with you

“ i should’ve saw that coming” he says laughing

“ i can’t believe you fell for that” you laugh

joining the others in a game of water spikeball miles makes eye contact with you smirking as you and eric continuously flirt with each other

“ that was a point” you yell to eric

“no it wasn’t” he yells back

“ yes it was” you splash water on him, he walks closer to you splashing you back before picking you up, eric lifts you up throwing you into the water, he swims over to you as you splash water in his face one last time “ that was mean” you say to him

he tucks a strand of lose hair behind your ear “so pretty” he whispers, the two of you now inches away from each other, you wanted nothing more than to kiss him right then and there but before anything could happen one of eric’s members yells for him to come join in the game again

eventually you get out of the pool, feeling tired from the continuous swim races that eric challenged you to even though you beat him every time. eric approached you sitting on one of the chairs “ come back in” he whines

“ no i’m tired of swimming” you say looking up at him “please y/n i’ll carry you” he says. you nod your head yes, knowing you could never say no to him “ sure” you say walking to the steps of the pool

all the guys had gotten out and were now inside the house talking to eachother, leaving just you and eric alone together in the pool. it had gotten dark, the sun was long gone, the pool light shined as you swam over to eric wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, he looks down at you smiling as he places one of his arms around your waist and the other on your ass to hold you up, you knew it was wrong, you knew that you shouldn’t be doing this but when it came to eric all of your sense left your brain and you begin to think with your heart instead

you lay your head on his shoulder as he carries you to the deep end sitting down on the ledge “ i meant what i said earlier, i really missed you pretty girl” eric whispers

“ i meant when i said i missed you too” you say lightly kissing the side of his neck. he rubs his hand up and down your back as the other rubs your thigh, taking your head off of his shoulder looking up at him, both of your eyes locking , you feel butterflies in your stomach as eric moves closer and closer until finally his lips are on yours

the kiss was passionate, you both had been waiting for this moment for a long time, he moves in closer holding the side of your face as one of your hand reaches into his hair while the other is pressed against his chest, you softly moan into the kiss as eric moves your bottoms to the side before entering his finger into your pussy without breaking the kiss

“ fuck eric” you moan noticing his eyes are now darker than they were before “ you’re so tight baby, when’s the last time you had sex” he asks kissing your neck “ the last time was with you” you say looking at him, eric smiles at the thought of no one else fucking you but him

he enters another finger into you causing you to moan loudly before eric covers your mouth with his other hand “ shh babygirl they can still hear you over the music, you don’t want anyone to hear us do you?” he says as he fucks you with his fingers “ fuck eric i’m gonna cum” you whine, he stops thrusting his fingers in you “ fuck yourself on my fingers baby” he says kissing your head, you feel the knot in your stomach tighten as you ride his fingers “ cum for me love” eric says, you throw your head back letting yourself ride out your climax releasing onto his fingers, you moan as your body begins to shake “ good girl” eric kisses your lips once again before letting you catch your breath as he fixes your bathing suit

getting out of the pool you notice eric’s dick poking out of his pants “ i feel bad let me help you” you say as he looks down at you “ i’ll be okay for now, i think somone will come looking for us if we’re out here any longer” he chuckles palming his boner

the sliding glass door opens “ hey we’re going start up a game of football if you wanna join” miles says poking his out of the door “ okay we’ll be right there” eric responds drying himself off as you do the same

sitting in the grass you watch majority of the guys play football, kevin and jacob walk up next to you as you invite them to sit down “ im finally meeting the girl eric won’t ever shut up about” kevin says looking to you

“ really he talks about me?” you ask

“ literally all the time” jacob responds

it goes quiet for a moment before kevin speaks again “ the two of you have chemistry you know?” he says. “ yeah we all could sense it the moment you got here” jacob adds

you sigh “ yeah that’s how it is with eric and i, no matter how long we go without talking to each other the moment we’re together we act as if we’re magnets constantly gravitating towards one another”

“ i haven’t seen eric this happy in a while” jacob states

“ yeah i’ve never seen him so in love” kevin says

“ you think he’s still in love with me?” you ask

“ oh we know he’s still in love with you” they both reassure you

“ i never stopped loving him you know, i did everything to avoid him, to stop thinking about him and look where it led me” you laugh looking over at eric who was running with the football in his hands

“ i think you should tell him that, he’s been beating himself up a lot about still being hooked on you all these years later” jacob says quickly stopping the conversation as eric approaches you

he sits down next to you pulling you into a hug “ ew eric get off of me your all sweaty” you yell pushing him off of you as he laughs hysterically, kevin and jacob smile at the sight of you both as you get up running away from eric as he tries to wipe his sweat on you. eventually capturing you in his arms eric throws you over his shoulder as you kick and scream pleading him to let you down

you are now all in front of the big tv everyone spread across the living room watching a horror movie, eric laid behind you on the couch as his arms wrapped around your waist, legs tangled together, at this point everyone had caught on that you and eric weren’t just “friends” miles smiles at the two of you cuddled on the couch. throughout the movie you and eric scream every so often hugging eachother tightly, everyone laughing at how scared you two are. as the move comes to an end eric moves closer to your face “ spend the night” eric whispers into your ear, “ okay” you say turning around placing a soft kiss to his lips

everyone except eric says goodbye to you and miles before leaving to go back to their hotel “ you ready to head out” miles asks you, you look at him before speaking “ um actually i think im gonna spend the night here with eric” you say to him, he lets out a big sigh before speaking again “ you know what’s going to happen if you do that right?” he asks as you nod your head yes

“ are you okay with having sex with him and then being thousands of miles away from each other again when he leaves, look i’m not going to tell you what to do with your life but this is exactly what happened last time” miles says

“ i don’t know what to tell you miles, im in love with him, im going to have alot more regret if i don’t spend every minute that i can with him before he leaves” you tell him. he pulls you into a hug “ you know i just care about you” he says before walking over to say his goodbyes to eric

“ i need to shower i feel gross” you say as he laughs bringing you up to his room, you and eric both shower together, it wasn’t in a sexual way but more of a romantic moment between to two of you, his hands roam your body as he washes your hair giving you kisses here and there as you do the same to him

as the two of you get out and dry off you feel eric’s naked body hug you from behind, his hard cock poking your back while he kisses your neck as you watch him in the mirror, feeling the warmth between your legs you can tell you’re getting wet for him “ i need you” you moan

that was all he needed to hear before picking you up and throwing you on the bed, leaning over you he hooks his mouth to one of your boobs while playing with the other, leaving open mouth kisses to your body, you trace his abs as you look into his eyes letting him know that you’re growing impatient, eric chuckles before kissing your lips, after spreading your legs eric drags his tip over your clit a few times causing you to whimper before lining his cock up with you as he slowly sides himself into your hole

“ oh my god eric” you choke out, as he stays still for a moment letting you get used to his size “ you’re so tight love” he says before slowly thrusting into you “ faster” you moan clawing at his back, eric brings one hand up to your neck while the other one grips your waist as he rams himself into you“ fuck baby you’re so wet for me” he grunts

turning you over leaving you on all fours arching your back for him, he grabs a handful of your hair before ramming into you once again causing you to scream when he hits your g spot “ you’re taking me so well babygirl, i’m so proud of you” he says as grab onto the sheets tears streaming down your face“ i’m coming” you moan as you squeeze around him, your hips shake repeatedly hinting that you had finished, “ good girl” he says flipping you around again once again placing your legs in his shoulders as he chases his own high, squeezing around him once again his thrusts become sloppy and rushed as he whimpers “ shit i’m coming” he says looking to you “ oh fuckkkk” he says moaning as you feel warm strings of him cum shoot into you, he stays inside of you as he wipes away your tears giving you multiple pecks on the lips “ you did so well for me baby, made me feel so good” he says pulling out of you watching his cum leak from your pussy as he used his fingers to push it back in causing moans to slip out form your mouth

the two of you weren’t even close to being done for the night, you went multiple rounds from having you on top riding him to him eating you out and then fucking you in front of the bathroom mirror, you both went at it, making up for lost time

the last round however was different, seeing you so fucked out made eric want to do nothing but be gentle with you, he layed you down on your stomach as he laid on top of you slowly thrusting into your pussy as he played with your hair, kissing on your shoulders “ as much as i love fucking you until you can’t walk nothing will ever beat making love to you” he whispers in your ear as you arch your back a little bit still lying down, his hands roam your body as he praises you “ you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever laid my eyes on” he carefully turns you over to look at your face

you wrap your legs around his torso as your hands play with his hair slowly and gently moving his length in and out of you“ i love you so much y/n” he says caressing your cheek, you look up at him “ i love you too eric” you say as he leans in to kiss you gently

after he came in you for the last time he cleaned you up putting the covers over your body before getting in bed with you, scooping you up into his arms he places a kiss on your forehead while gently rubbing your back “ eric?” you mumble into his chest “ yes sweet girl?”

“ did you mean what you said earlier about loving me” you ask looking up at him, he smiled before kissing your lips “ of course i did, i’ve loved you since i first laid my eyes on you, and i never stopped” he said raking his hands through your hair, you smile at his answer “ good because i never stopped loving you either”

a silence washed over the both of you until you spoke again “ eric?” you ask once more he chuckles at you “ yes sweet girl” repeats himself you stop and think about the question you’re going to ask “ is this the last time we’re going to see each other” your voice begins to tremble as your tears begin to fall onto his naked chest

“ oh sweetheart come here” he says pulling you up more so that your head in is in the crook of his neck as he rubs your back, “ look at me” he says as you sit up, eric places both of his hands on your cheeks wiping away your tears

“ i promise to do everything in my power to make sure that we see eachother a lot more often” he says before pulling you back into his chest as you begin to cry harder, “ i just never want to repeat what happened last time” you say trying to calm yourself down “ it won’t i’ll make sure of it” he says

“ im so sorry i stopped answering your calls and your messages, i just felt like i was holding you back on so many levels,i never wanted you to hold you back from finding love with someone who would be there for you way more than i could’ve” eric feels his eyes build up with tears, trying his best to hold them back, but he couldn’t causing him to break down, you lift your head up off of his chest when you feel eric’s body shake with his sobs

“ oh my god eric” you coo, the sight of the boy you had known since you were fourteen breaking down in front of you made you sob again along with him

eric had always been an emotional person, but around you he never showed that side of himself, for all the years of knowing you he was always the one wiping your tears not the other way around

you sit up placing his head to your chest letting him sob in the crook of your neck this this time. “ i don’t want to lose you again, i don’t think i can handle it this time” he says in between sobs. “ you won’t lose me eric i promise, if i start taking online courses for school i can visit you all the time and once i get my degree we can talk about me moving to korea” his head shoots up off of your chest “ y/n i cant ask you to leave everything and everyone you love behind just for me” he says, you shush him “ you’re not asking, i’m offering, eric i would move anywhere if it meant i get to be with you”

“ you would do that for me, leave everything you’ve ever know behind, move somewhere completely different on the other side of the world.. just for me” he asks. you chuckle at him before kissing his lips that taste like salt due to his tears

“ i would do it in a heartbeat” you say. as the two of you calmed down you lay back on his chest staring at the ceiling “ have you ever thought about our future together, like getting married and having kids” you ask looking to him, he looks down at you “ i think about it a lot actually, i think about how i would propose and what our wedding would be like, how beautiful you would look walking down the isle in your white dress, i think about how sexy you would be with the baby i put in your belly, how hot you would look waddling around pregnant with our child, you would make a hot mom by the way” he laughs

“ how about you? do you think about our future?” he asks raising his eyebrow “all the time, i think about marrying you a lot more than id like to admit, i think about having kids with you, i even think about you doing the sexy dad walk out of the hospital with our baby” you laugh

“ i promise one day we’ll get to experience all of that together”eric says before placing another kiss to your lips, he pauses before opening his mouth again to speak

“will you be my girlfriend again, this time for good” eric asks

“of course my love, i would love nothing more” you reply giving him one last kiss

“ goodnight i love you so much y/n”

“ goodnight eric i love you more”

you went to sleep peacefully that night, even though eric was leaving the next morning you felt content with his departure for the first time, you felt really confident in your relationship this time around, you knew you both were serious about doing anything and everything to be together as much as you could

you would have never believed that the boy you met in your middle school biology class would end up being the one you plan on sharing the rest of your life with, but here you are all these years later, that boy is now a man laying in your arms after a long night of making love to each other, your naked bodies tangled together as he lets out small snores, holding each other close promising to never let go again

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i know i usually only write for nct but recently eric has been on my mind a lot so i needed to write for him hehe, i hoped you enjoyed <3

[sanaxo-o]

Magnetic (Eric Sohn)

Too @sohnric : Happiest Birthday my Eric Stan 🥺. Omg you’re older now damn…okay to start off I hope you enjoy your day to the fullest and keep on being unhinged like always 🥺. Thank you for always being there for me and saving my ass from Izzy 🧍‍♀️. I love you loads and I hope you always know that. This is just something small I prepared for you since well…it’s your birthday. I hope you enjoy this even tho it’s not that good 🥺😭. Love you <3 and yes this is the reason why I did not ask you too beta read the Eric fic 🧍‍♀️💔. P.S don’t worry I did not stay up the whole night. I set an alarm clock to wake up sat 3:30 😚. I hope I wake up 🧍‍♀️. If it comes late then you know why that is! Well last but not least, enjoy your day to the fullest :) let’s keep on talking about Weak Hero Class 1 and what not in the future too <3

Warnings/Genre: friends too lovers, cursing, making out, mentions of food, Eric is kind of flirty (I tried), sunshine x moon trope, reader is very oblivious, reader is a psychology major (idk if psychology majors have jury or no but I searched on google and google said arts students have jury so I think I am right but ik it’s wrong!), drinking but not really since they don’t drink in the scene (reader is just getting the after effects of drinking), reader likes to crochet! A small joke made out of the Shakespeare drama Julius Caesar 😭. I guess that’s it…lmk if I miss anything!

Word count: 6,077

Sana: Hihi, I am back with an Eric fic (I have more Eric fics than I have for my own bias wow). This is just a small something I wrote for bar so I hope you guys also like this. A special and huge thanks to @quaissants @strayed-quokka and @o-onikix for beta reading this and helping me in the process. And also a huge thanks to @sungbeam for making the banner for me 🥺🫶🏻. Love you. I was too scared to ask ally to beta because it was not my best work 💔. I was gonna add the other banner for this but then my friends moms said that it looks like he has a pacifier in his mouth so I was like nvm 😭.

Taglist: @cloverdaisies @sohnric @mosviqu @deoboyznet

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All this was new to you. These feelings, these butterflies wandering in your stomach, the feeling of love, those red cheeks, the feeling of falling in love and at last, him. He was new to you.

All these feelings you had were so new for you. Deep down you always knew and expected to love a man similar to you, and yet he was the complete opposite of what you could’ve imagined.

That is why it was a complete shock for you when you understood your true feelings for Eric Sohn, who was the complete opposite of what you expected your partner to be.

He was like the sun, always bright and drawing everyone's attention, annoying the hell out of them. And you were like the moon, lover of quiet places because they’d let you wander around your own world.

He was the polar opposite of you. You liked having your own space while he…well he loved getting into other’s space and annoying the hell out of them. That’s how you liked to describe him most of the time.

If anyone ever asked you what you thought about Eric,the first thing to come to your mind was ‘He’s a good guy but he’s noisy.’ Which is true! No matter the time or place,Eric would always have at least some energy to spare for you.

Sometimes you admire him for having that much energy in him. Like how can someone go a whole day screaming here and there without feeling tired or having a sore throat??

Blinking your eyes,you look down at the crochet you were working on, only to sigh in disappointment when you realise that you had messed up the pattern, again.

Still continuing with your work,you pay no mind to the people around you who were talking and screaming loudly with their fellow peers. You were fixated on finishing on whatever this was going to turn out to be.

“What’s that?” You hear a voice ask from beside you which makes you halt your hands and look up, only to give out a small grin when you realise that it was none other than Eric Sohn.

“Ah well…it was supposed to be a cute frog but I don’t know what it is anymore.” You mumble quietly as you go back to crocheting the now demonic frog (that was your personal assumption).

“I think it’s cute though.” He says softly as he looks into your eyes when you look up at him again.

You divert your gaze everywhere around the room, just to ignore his. Everything was now interesting, even the guy who was hogging the food. Your cheeks continue growing bright in colour as you try your best to avoid his intense gaze.

“You do not have a good taste then.” You say with sass as you elbow his stomach when he snorts at your reply.

“Really? But I am friends with you. Does that still mean I have bad taste?” He says cheekily and places his head on his hands which were placed on the table. Looking up at you he brings his hands up and pokes your cheek softly.

“That’s not what I meant! You know that!” You yell at him but soon a small smile comes up on your lips when you feel his fingers poking your cheek continuously.

“Your words, not mine but, let’s leave it like that. I came here to ask you something else..” Eric says that as he sits up properly while fixing his now messy hair.

You stop your hands from crocheting as you push Eric's hands away from his hair when you realise that he is just making them more messy than they already were.

“Your eyes are pretty..” Eric whispers softly. You momentarily stop fixing his hair, as you stare into his eyes for a moment, only to cough to hide your embarrassment.

“Stop that..” you say shyly as you fix his last strand of hair and move away from him to keep some gap between you two which you had closed without neither of you guys realising.

“Stop what? And you coughed on my face, thank you very much.” He says sarcastically as he grabs your handkerchief to wipe his face jokingly.

“Whatever,” you mumble as you snatch your handkerchief from his hand and go back to crocheting. “What did you want to talk about anyways?” You mumble as you again fix your gaze on the frog (which had these huge ass eyes and looked more like a demonic creature hence, the name.) you were crocheting again.

“I was wondering, since we’re free after our jury today and the sem is over now.. We would mostly be free, right?” He asks cautiously as he takes away your frog and places it on the table to have your full attention on him.

“Where are you going with this?” You ask in complete confusion when Eric takes ahold of your hand in his and places them on his lap making you face him.

“Promise that you won’t back out once I tell you about the plan.” He says while putting his pinky finger in front of you, urging you to lock yours with his as a way to keep the promise tact.

You stare at him and then at his finger for a moment before letting out a small sigh at his childish behaviour. “Fine, promise. Now tell me..” you say with a small grin when he breaks the fingers apart but still having a hold of your other hand in his large ones.

“We have a sealed deal, okay? This gesture means that I can break your finger if you don’t stay true to your word and break our promise!” He says while pointing his finger at you. You only smile at him and nod your head when he boops your nose with his finger.

“Everyone was planning to go to the amusement park tomorrow in the evening…I was wondering if you wanted to join us? Wait- no I want you to join us.” You stare at Eric when he says that.

You didn’t hate going out per se, but you would rather just stay at home on the last day of the sem,catch up on your lost sleep and the dramas—be a couch potato in general.

You had a lot more time to have fun with your peers and friends the day after. You just needed some alone time away from everything and just focus on yourself.

Before you could even back down you remembered how you had promised Eric to not back out of whatever he was about to ask.

“For how long?” You ask him as you stand up and grab your stuff to exit the cafeteria with Eric by your side.

“Just for a few hours. We were planning on going to the new restaurant which had opened up but if you get too exhausted we can just go over to your place and order some food. I know how you get when you’re exhausted..” he says with a smile as he grabs most of your stuff and carries them for you instead of you having to ask him to do so.

You smile at his gesture knowing how he would always step in first to help you out even when they’re just small things.

You liked how he was always so observant and not full of himself unlike some people you knew in the past.

It’s the little things he does which makes your heart beat grow faster. It makes you feel like you just came back from running somewhere or as if you dashed through the hallways to reach your class on time.

It’s as if your heart starts pounding whenever he is closer. You sometimes wonder if you can hide your feelings well or not. Because even from afar, he looks so…surreal. The only thing that comes to mind when your eyes meet his is ‘oh my gosh, his eyes are so pretty’. You do wish to drown in those deep eyes, sometimes.

If staring at him for the whole day was a paid job you’d probably be a billionaire by now because of how much you stare at him.

“Maybe we can go to the nearby club when I am more free? Just the two of us are fine.” You tell him as you grab your books from his hands and enter your class, not waiting back to hear his reply knowing he was just going to agree with what you just said.

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Standing beside Eric you look around in awe amazed by the different kinds of rides in the park.

You notice Eric walking away for a moment saying he wanted to buy something urgently so you paid him no mind and just gave a small nod at him acknowledging his words.

you were so immersed by everything that you failed to notice his return. He came back, holding two cotton candies in his hands.

“Here.” You hear his voice beside you.

Looking at him your eyes gleam with happiness when you take notice of the pink coloured sugary sweet in his hand which he was offering to you.

“Thanks!” You say happiness evident in your voice and your features as you take a few bites out of the cotton candy.

“Woah, can we ride that?!” You shout in excitement as you grab Eric’s hand and pull him towards the queue to buy the tickets for the ride.

You look back at Eric when you see him just standing behind you with a straight face, no expression adorning his facial features as he smiles at you nervously when he notices your excited gaze looking back at him.

“What’s wrong?” You ask once you notice his nervousness.

“Are you sure…you want to ride that?” He asks while scratching the back of his neck while trying to look anywhere but you.

He could feel his cheeks heating up in embarrassment knowing he’s just ratting himself out by trying to avoid getting on the ride.

“Yes! I have always wanted to try this out with someone!” You say with excitement as you wave his hands around trying to convince him to get on the ride with you.

“Since you’re insisting and begging so much…I might as well get on the ride with you. Don’t worry, you can hold onto my hand if you get scared!” He says with fake enthusiasm (and probably even gaslighting himself into believing that he would be fine on the ride) as he grabs your hand and drags you towards the ticket counter. “Ticket for two please.” He requests the cashier.

“We don’t have to ride it if you’re scared or something..” you reassure him when he starts walking towards the first seat of the ride.

“No, I want to. I told you I am there to protect you, didn’t I?” He bluffs as he lets you settle down in the ride before getting in right after you.

After helping you fasten your seat belt,he looks around the area in wonder when he feels the ride moving slowly.

He could feel his palms getting sweaty with fear and nervousness when the ride started moving, but he tried his best to stay calm and collected.

Closing his eyes he pays attention to the sounds going on and off through his ears as he tries to drown them out when he feels your warm hands embracing his sweaty, colder ones.

Peeking through his right eye he could see you looking ahead with excitement when the ride came at the most exciting part.

“Can…can you hold my hand?” You hear his small voice squeak through his throat as he holds out his hand for you to hold it.

“And you said you were the one to protect me.” You tease as you immediately grab his hand in a tight grip to help him calm down.

“Woah okay…” you turn your head and look at Eric’s flushed face as you rub your thumb against the back of his hand in a way to give him some comfort. “Why is this going so sl-” before he could complete his sentence a loud scream escapes his lips as he pulls you closer to him with great force.

Letting out a scream you look ahead of you as you feel your heart thump in fear that’s what you hoped so when Eric clutched your hand tightly while pulling you closer.

You could feel his breath fanning your face making you shiver. Closing your eyes you look away from his face as you look around the view when the ride starts to slow down.

Loosening your hand which was gripping onto Eric’s, you slowly let go of it as you immediately undo your seatbelt and get out of the ride when the ride comes to a complete stop.

“Oh..let’s go to a restaurant or somewhere..” you mumble tiredly as you start walking away from him. Too embarrassed and shy to look at Eric’s face.

“Aren’t you tired though?” Eric mumbles once he catches up to you. Gripping onto your hand he takes hold of your purse so that you can walk more freely.

“You don’t have to do that..” you say softly as you try to take your purse back from him only for him to gently push your hand away in reassurance.

“It’s fine. I can handle that.” He says as he pulls you closer by your waist and leads the way to his car. “Oh…is this the frog you were crocheting?” He mumbles once his eyes catch the small crocheted item made by you.

Keeping it in the backseat, he helps you put your seatbelt on. “Let’s head back over to my house. You already look exhausted with all the activities you did.”

You look over at him when he says that. He really does pay attention to the small details related to you. “I thought you wanted to go out and have some dinner with the guys?” You say softly while eyeing his side profile.

His lips which always looked so kissable, you admit to yourself that there were times when you had thought about kissing Eric but he does not have to know that, now does he?

“Hmm no it’s fine. I would rather spend the night with you than listen to them talking about some stupid things.” He says with a chuckle as he gives your hand a light squeeze in reassurance. “Oh by the way, can I have the frog you crocheted?” Eric asks once he had stopped laughing.

Looking at you for a split second, his eyes travel down to your lips for a split second only for them to divert back to your eyes.

“Why would you want that?” You question back, your brows furrowing in confusion as you grab your purse from the backseat and stare at the crocheted frog which was handing on the chain.

You didn’t exactly like it because it was not your best piece, you were still learning and you just crocheted for fun and to help you with stress.

You made the frog crochet into a keychain because you did not want to throw it away despite it not being the best thing you made.

“I like it, it’s cute!” He says with a smile on his face. His cheekbones rising up making his cheeks look puffy (in a cute way of course).

“It’s so not cute, Eric..” you say with a sigh as you shake your head at his silliness when he whines at your answer.

“Why can’t I just have it? I like everything you crochet..” he replies back once the car comes to a halt at the red light. “Come on, let me have it. I will treasure it the same way I treasure you..” he says softly as he places his hand on your thigh to convince you.

Looking up at him you break eye contact almost instantly when you notice him staring at you intensely, “Look at me..” he whines as he places his hands on your cheeks and makes you stare at him. Squishing your cheeks together he lets out a small laugh while looking at your lips which were in an ‘o’ shape. “Give me the frog please.” He pleads while batting his eyes together in a fast motion to try and convince you (well hopefully).

You could feel your heart beating at a fast pace again. If you could, you would just kiss him but that’d be too reckless of you, no? Snapping out of your thoughts you clear your throat and speak up.

“I can make one for you especially..” you say, your words coming out a bit jumbled because of your cheeks getting squeezed together.

“You can?” Eric asks softly as he slowly pulls away from you and turns ahead when the light turns green.

“Of course, since you so badly want the frog I can just make something else for you. Something better..” you say with a nod as you keep your bag in the backseat again.

“But I would still be happy if you gave me the frog crochet..” he replies in a sing-song voice as he turns on the radio to play some songs.

You sigh when he says that, there’s no winning against Eric when it comes to something he wants. You knew how stubborn the latter was. Youjust couldn't argue with him, especially with those eyes of his, which would always sparkle when talking with you (it might be your delusion speaking, but you always saw his eyes sparkle when talking with you and you only).

You smile in delight when Eric plays Best Years by 5sos. He still remembers your favourite artist. He was also the one who accompanied you to the concerts and saw you going crazy, so it was kind of an unforgettable experience.

You sigh in satisfaction as you look out the window in content while humming and singing along to the lyrics of the song while Eric drives the car.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

Entering the house you place your bag on the counter table as you go in the washroom to wash up.

Knowing Eric, he might already be ordering some food so that was least of your worries. The guy knew your favourite food all too well.

Turning on the shower you wait for the water to get hot as you strip off your clothes.

Once it is lukewarm, you enter the shower as thoughts start to occupy your mind.

Did you really like Eric? Or was your heart just not functioning properly? And….and those butterflies wandering in your stomach when he does or remembers something you like. Oh gosh! You never felt this way for any guy before, that’s for sure.

You and Eric are like the polar opposites, everyone knows that. They still wonder how you and Eric are still together as friends knowing how the other guy is.

You were someone who always preferred your own space, you liked being in your own shell and just being lost in your thoughts.

Eric was the opposite! He was always outgoing, just like everyone calls him the social butterfly and boy was he true to that name given to him.

He could instantly make anyone comfortable with him be it a small kid, an adult or someone older than him. He had that kind of charm in him.

Getting the bottle of shampoo which Eric had you start washing your hair with it as you think back to the time when Eric had approached you.

Flashback

Sitting at the back of your stats class, you try your best to pay attention to what the professor was saying but it was not that easy.

The headache you were having since the morning was getting worse, now it was truly your fault for going to a club with your friends on a Sunday night knowing you had early classes the very next day.

But what could you do when you just wanted a few drinks to get your mind of all the stress the major you were majoring in was giving you?

To put it simply, it’s not easy being a psychology major. The amount of assignments which are piling on your desk at the dorm and at your house along with all the essays you have yet to turn in.

No matter how many times you stay up all night the work just keeps on increasing, as if you broke the stop button.

So when your friends offered you to tag along with them to the nearby club for a few drinks how could you even turn them down? So of course you went along with them and had a little bit too much.

Massaging your temples with your eyes closed you try your best to think of something else. Anything to distract yourself from the massive headache you were having.

“Here, take some painkillers.” You hear a voice say from beside you. Turning your head around you could feel your voice getting stuck in your throat when you see the man sitting beside you.

Messy blond hair, he had decent casual clothes on. A pair of a hoodie with a cap on top of his head which was now in his hands since he was trying to fix his strands of hair which were getting in his eyes.

“Let me help you.” You say softly as you lean closer towards him and help him fix his hair.

You don't even know where you got this confidence from but it’s as if your hands moved on its own before you could even comprehend what you were about to do.

Leaning closer to his face you fix his hair as your eyes stay focused on his hair. You try your best to not look anywhere else but the oversized hoodie was revealing his collarbones and you were oh so tempted to check him out but you stopped yourself.

“You have pretty eyes.” You hear him say. You did not even know his name and you were already blushing at something a stranger said to you? How could he have such a huge impact on you so quickly was beyond your imagination.

“Oh thanks haha.” You say with a shy voice as you move away from him before you do something you’d regret (example: kiss him).

“Oh here. Take it.” He says once you move away from him. Sliding the pills to you he grabs your bottle of water which was beside him and opens it up for you.

“How did you know I was having a headache? I don’t think we've ever met each other before.” You question him while taking a pill in your hand.

“Oh well we have a few mutual friends but we never talked with each other before. I was at the club yesterday and noticed you.” He explains himself while grabbing a random paper which was lying beside him to doodle on it.

“Ah I see..thanks for the medicine…?” You furrow your brows when you realise that he never introduced himself to you.

“Oh! It’s Eric but you can call me anything you’d like. Maybe…yours?” He says with a flirty and cheeky smile adorning his oh so handsome face. Standing up from the chair he gets ready to leave the classroom only to turn around to look at you again. “See you around..” he waits for you to complete the sentence.

“Y/N,” you say with a small smile. Scrunching up your nose, you close your eyes when he pats your head with his hand.

“See you around, Y/N.” Eric says as he starts walking away.

Flashback end

Turning off the shower you leave the washroom with a bathrobe wrapped around your body.

Opening up the closet of Eric’s you look through his clothes when your eyes catch the black hoodie off his. The same one he was wearing on the day you both met for the first time.

Grabbing the hoodie you slip into the clothes as you start drying your hair with the towel Eric had kept for you.

“Wait, let me help you.” You hear Eric’s voice say as soon as he walks in the room.

You look at him through the mirror as he helps you in drying your hair with the towel.

“You’re wearing that hoodie.” Eric says with a grin as he grabs the comb to untangle your hair.

“It’s comfortable..” you mumble with a small smile on your lips.

—x—

Sitting on the couch, you take a bite out of your pizza slice as you turn on the TV to watch the series.

From the corner of your eyes you notice Eric taking out a packet of ramen making you let out a groan in annoyance at his behaviour, “Why can't you just eat some of the food which is served right here instead of making some noodles which you inhale almost everyday?” You question him once you have swallowed your food.

Eric just shakes his head as he smiles at you sheepishly. You knew winning against him was useless since he won’t listen to you either ways so you just let him be and continue eating your food while sipping from your can of coke (very original 🙄).

Giving him a slice of pizza which was in your hand you rest your body against the armrest of the couch as you place your legs on his lap so that you can be more comfortable and relaxed.

Heaving out a sigh you look at the TV screen when a question pops into your mind. You give Eric a look as you notice how his whole attention was on the TV.

You always wondered why that man was never dating anyone when so many girls out there were quite literally dying for him. Even the slightest bit of attention given by that man to them made them feel accomplished.

Well technically in their eyes you were the one person who has accomplished their dream. Which was too close with Eric and well…you might be the only girl who would get his whole attention whenever you want it.

The man would quite literally drop whatever he was doing just so he could talk with you. That was also the reason why everyone used to call him a simp and a lovesick puppy for running around everywhere just to be with you.

“Why are you not dating anyone?” You ask suddenly while staring at Eric’s side profile. You widen your eyes when Eric starts coughing while holding his chest.

Immediately sitting straight you grab the glass of water which Eric had brought along with him. Standing up you walk beside him in hurry as you help him drink the water while rubbing his back soothingly hoping it’d help him calm down.

“Feeling better?” You asked nervously once Eric had stopped coughing. Once he gives a slight nod to your question you sign in relief as you go and take a seat beside him.

Taking a seat you grab ahold of Eric’s hand while massaging them gently.

“Why did you ask that question so suddenly?” Eric mumbles as he takes a big gulp of water while trying to control his breathing.

You just simply shrug at his question as you look away from him, anywhere but him. You did not have it in you to look him in the eye after asking such an absurd question.

“I was..I don’t know. Curious maybe?” You say in a hushed tone as you slowly bring your gaze back at him. If someone saw you right now, they’d think you dreamt about something scary because of the way your eyes were shaking. “I mean don’t get me wrong! It’s just that…everyone wants you as their boyfriend but you never pay attention to them. Why’s that?” You question him slowly.

“Do you want me to be your boyfriend?” Eric asks softly as he fully turns his body towards you to face you.

You could feel yourself choke at his choice of words as you immediately let out a nervous laugh when he says that.

“What are you talking about? I am serious Eric…” you say with a shy chuckle as you slap his shoulder gently. Trying to play it off coolly.

“Well then what about you then? A lot of guys I know like you, they even asked you out but you always turned them down. Why’s that?” He asks the question with his brows raised, waiting for you to answer his question.

You look down at the ground in wonder. Why did you turn them down? It’s not like you were waiting for someone else or were you? You immediately shake your head when you realise how Eric was avoiding your questions.

“Don’t change the subject!” You say with a glare as you flick his forehead gently.

You smile softly when he acts as if the flick hurted him knowing damn well that he was just acting to tease you.

“Do you just not see it?” Eric says while rubbing the back off his neck shyly.

You stare at him in confusion when he says that.Notice what? The way he pouts whenever he’s eating something he likes? Or the amount of tattoos he has on his body? Or maybe the fact that he's always having the same heart eyes when talking with you? Well of course you would ignore the last bit! But he doesn’t have to know that, now does he?

You just shake your head at his question, waiting for him to make himself clear so that you can assure yourself that whatever your hunch was telling you was in fact correct! “I like you silly..” Eric finally says with a small airy chuckle leaving his lips.

He moves closer towards you so that he can pull you closer, “I have never paid this much attention to someone before but you. It’s like…I am magnetised whenever I am with you. I cannot feel myself wanting to leave your side whenever we both are together. I always try to play it cool when it comes to you but I just seem to fail at that. Everyone knows that but you..everything about you sticks to my heart. It’s like…it’s something I cannot express in words.” He says softly while pulling you closer.

All you could ever think about at that moment was, ‘Oh my god?’ You couldn’t get yourself to believe it when Eric brought himself closer towards you, you immediately snapped out of your thoughts.

“Is it fine…if I?” You give him a small nod when he asks that.

And there it is, the spark you always felt whenever he did something oh so small but it always somehow made you feel special.

The way he gently grabbed a hold of your chin slowly moving to the back of your neck while his other hand gripped onto your waist, squeezing it lightly he pulled you closer while moving his lips in sync with yours.

You could feel yourself shiver at his feather light touches, especially when his hands started to travel up towards your spine. The lingering sensation stayed there even when his hand was already engulfing in your hair.

You immediately entangle your hands in his hair while kissing him to deepen the kiss.

—x—

You wrap your arms around Eric as you pull him closer towards you. You never thought you’d ever be cuddling with Eric like this.

I mean you never thought of Eric as someone who’d enjoy being the one being cuddled but looking at the man right now you could tell that he was enjoying this more than anyone.

You slowly snuggle closer to Eric as you listen to his calm breathing. You never thought that this day would come but here you are, laying on the same bed with Eric Sohn, cuddling together.

To say the least, you were content with what you had at the moment. This is all you could ask for.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

Entering the auditorium you sigh in embarrassment when you see Eric, Sunwoo and Haknyeon playing around with the props which were lying on the stage.

It’s been a few months since you both made your relationship official. Everyone around you was obviously more than delighted to hear it, I mean the lovesick boy's love was finally accepted by you.

And ever since you guys made the relationship official, of course you guys were named for being the cutest couple and for making the singles in the group more single than ever because of how you and Eric flirt all the time when together.

You walk towards them with your hands behind your back as you let out a chuckle when Eric falls on the ground dramatically.

“Et tu, Brute? Wait no…Et tu, Sunwoo?” Eric says with hurt as he looks up at Sunwoo who was holding the sword in his hand with a crazy smile on his face.

You widen your eyes when Haknyeon pours some water on the floor as a way to depict the blood shed by Sunwoo.

You notice how Chanhee, who was sitting on the edge of the stage, starts hiding his face because of his friends behaviour.

You just go and take a seat beside him while you wait for Eric to take a notice of your presence.

You were about to open your mouth to speak with Chanhee when a loud voice beams through the whole auditorium making you laugh, “Y/N!” You immediately stand up from your seat and open your arms, waiting for Eric to hug you like always.

“When did you get here, sweetheart?” Eric mumbles, his face being placed on the crook of your neck as he melts in your warm embrace.

“Just now while you were imitating about being stabbed. I was about to talk with Chanhee when a certain someone came running here.” You say with a teasing smile.

You laugh when Eric glares at Chanhee playfully before holding you closer, “Mine!” Eric says to Chanhee before sticking his tongue out at him.

Chanhee just sighs and nods at the younger’s behaviour as he stands up from the seat to walk away from you both.

“Where are you going?” Eric questions in confusion when Chanhee starts walking away towards Sunwoo and Haknyeon who were, well…throwing water at each other.

“Not interested in looking at you both being all lovey dovey in front of me!” Chanhee shouts back as he gets on the stage which was a great mistake because he apparently became the boy's next target.

“You’re just jealous because you don’t have a girlfriend like Y/N!” Eric teases and laughs loudly when Chanhee throws a middle finger at him while trying to save himself from the two boys.

Diverting his attention back to you he offers you a smile as he takes your hand in his while walking towards the exit door only to stop when you start looking through your bag.

“Here..” you take out a small crocheted keychain which was of a flower. It was abit tiny in size but it’s something Eric would cherish so you were more than happy to make something so special for him.

“For me?” He asks in astonishment while gently taking it from your hand. Scared it might fall apart if he grabs it aggressively.

“Sweetheart, it’s beautiful.” He mumbles while immediately attaching the keychain on his bag.

“You like it?” You ask with happiness. You were glad he liked the item you crocheted. When he gives you a nod you immediately hug him tightly. “I am glad you do! I was gonna crochet something else but then it turned out to be Sunwoo in evil form so I discarded it.” You say with a smile as you pull away from him.

Eric laughs at your choice of words while holding your hand tightly in his grip.

“Want to get some ice cream?” He asked once you were out of the auditorium.

Seeing you nod enthusiastically, he immediately starts dragging you towards his car.

Well as they say, opposites do attract and you were glad you found Eric. He was kind of like your other half, you never thought or even dreamt about this moment but here you were, going on an ice cream date with your boyfriend.

[hcuyk]

OUR INFERNO | CHAPTER ONE

SYNOPSIS ✧ despite being your greatest archnemesis/rival/enemy/frenemy/whateverthefuck he was, hyunjae had always been by your side. that changed when your boyfriend was brought up, creating a newfound rift in your whateverthefuck relationship with hyunjae

PAIRING ✧ rival!hyunjae x fem!reader

GENRE ✧ high school au, enemies to fwb, angst, smut, fluff(?), humor(?) (these mfs bicker a lot), pining

WARNINGS ✧ 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT — cheating, profanity, mentions of physical fight/bruises, underaged drinking, obsessive/possessive hyunjae : NSFW TAGS :  outdoor/semipublic sex, dubcon recording, spit/drool/tears, oral and fingering (fem receiving), penetration, scratching/ripping, humping, minimal praise, degradation, sub!hyunjae for 0.002 seconds, petnames (princess, good girl, babe/baby, slut)

WORD COUNT ✧ 19k

⋮≡ [ OUR INFERNO EXCLUSIVE ] @deoboyznet @flwoie @sanaxo-o — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!

. . . . . . OUR INFERNO M.LIST ✩ next [ TWO ]

⋮≡ [ PERMANENT TAGLIST ] @armysantiny @stealanity @zzoguri @nyujjan @tinisprout @the-kpop-simp @sunwoosberrie @winterchimez — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!

THE BOYZ MASTERLIST | NAVIGATION

AUTHOR'S NOTE : in honor of my three years of officially stanning the boyz on this very day, let's celebrate with my smut debut and writing comeback 😋 enjoy my loves

PART ONE: CHASING THE SPARK (THE FIRE TETRAHEDRON) — fuel, oxygen, and heat | CHAPTER ONE

“Genuine question.”

“Shoot.”

“Who the fuck does Hyunjae actually think he is?”

Unphased by your up-and-coming rage rant, Kevin resumed snacking on the protein bar he had brought with him. He tossed his free arm over the camera equipment and backpacks sitting next to him on the bench, watching you stride back and forth within one of the many hallways in the recreational center. 

“Well, he is your boss.”

“No, he’s the student executive producer,” you corrected, your legs unwavering as you kept a consistent pace to release your frustrations. Kevin shrugged and tossed one leg over the other, staying relaxed despite the hot fumes emanating from your upright and angered figure. You paused momentarily to look him in the eye. 

“Emphasis on the student,” you clarified.

“Emphasis on the executive, Y/N.”

Baffled at how he was defending your greatest archnemesis (well, more like your greatest frenemy), you ignored his rebuttal and started pacing again. Your steps slowed as you envisioned the sensations you experienced just minutes before, back when you, Kevin, and Hyunjae were at the indoor pool to report for your school’s broadcasting channel. Technically, you were the one reporting and filming while Hyunjae was the subject of interest, and Kevin was there for physical support. 

Chills latched onto your skin as you remembered what it felt like to have Hyunjae’s bare torso looming over you, his eyes peering over your shoulder to glance at your footage. While staring at the camera, his gentle, irregular breaths would continuously hit your skin. Water from the pool would trickle down his hair and into your shirt, reaching your backside. When it happened, you could barely comprehend Hyunjae’s ‘advice’ and instead focused on feeling every cold droplet travel through the crevasses created by your spine. You winced at the thought of that happening again, yet somehow you could still hear his irritating voice near your ear, telling you all the reasons why your B-roll of his lap swimming was ‘trash’ and ‘unusable.’

For a moment, you stood there in the hallway frozen, unsure of how to move, before realizing you were just reliving a moment from earlier and that Hyunjae was still in the locker room changing.

“I’m going to make a complaint,” you declared, turning back towards Kevin for his encouragement. Alternatively, you were met with the sight of your best friend completely failing to conceal his judgment and disapproval towards your suggestion.

“Against Hyunjae? You gotta be kidding, right?”

“Yes,” you answered confidently. “Wait, I mean no, I’m not kidding, but yes, against Hyunjae.”

Kevin eyed you skeptically, trying to decipher why you felt threatened enough to report someone like Hyunjae. You may not have spent all your previous years in high school with an affinity for Hyunjae, but it wasn’t like you hated him either—not in the way you truly loathed others. If that were the case, you wouldn’t spend nearly every day with him, bickering until the sun chose to set.

“Sure, maybe my B-roll was trash, I can attest to that, but that does not give his bitchass the right to not only shit on how ‘awful’ I was doing, but also yank the camera out of my hands and delete all the footage I got because they weren’t ‘perfect enough.’ What kind of psycho is that?” You glanced over at Kevin, trying once again to get him to back you up, but the most he gave was a slight nod. Everything you were spurting was half-mindedly being decoded because he had ended up placing more significance on inhaling protein. Regardless, you continued.

“And you would think, hey! As the student executive producer of a high school broadcasting team, he would understand that no! I indeed do not record half-naked people swimming in a pool, whether it be for a career or a hobby. He should also at least have the decency to not swim seven hundred miles per minute while I’m recording. Of course I’m not going to catch up, especially when he barely told me how he wanted things to be recorded? Isn’t he fucking insane for that? Not to mention all the goddamn splashing because of how fucking long his limbs are—”

“You’re explaining this like I didn’t witness the whole exchange,” Kevin grumbled.

“And you would think he knows, right? That Mr. Executive-slash-Captain-of-the-Swim-Team should either be more considerate when, A, he’s kicking water in my direction when he’s swimming or, B, station me away from the edge of the pool? Just a thought, but fuck me, I guess.”

“Well yeah, but the—”

“Also! Not to mention the camera has the fucking ability to zoom in, so why was there even a need for me to stand by the pool anyway?” You scoffed at the absurdity, almost tempted to cackle like a villain because of it. “The least he could do was tell me how to record it or find a way to adjust and compromise without occasionally soaking me with water on purpose, which I know damn well he was—”

“That’s just how-”

“We have a tripod, for god’s sake!” you exclaimed. By now, Kevin had given up on providing you with his input. He opted to rest against the wall, finishing up whatever he had left of the protein bar, and occasionally would roll his eyes.

“But even then, who the fuck wants to see him swim anyway? We’ll probably only need like…what? A minute of the footage for the B-roll? So why the hell is he treating it like it’s about to be nominated by the goddamn Oscars for Best Picture? He just loves to nitpick and control me like a fucking puppet—”

“Keep talking and you’ll potentially strain your throat,” a new voice interrupted.

You jerked around to find Hyunjae, the culprit of your rant, exiting the locker room with a small duffle bag that contained both his swim gear and his school clothes from earlier in the day. His brown hair was only halfway dry, some strands still stuck to his forehead as he approached where you were pacing.

You halted in your path and stared him down. Hyunjae immediately caught onto the mood you were in, and instead of being shocked or hurt, he grinned.

“You.” 

Your attempt at threatening him with one word made Hyunjae laugh.

“Hey, I’m just looking out for you.”

“Oh here we go again,” Kevin mumbled, tossing the wrapper of the protein bar to the side. He pulled out his phone and went on TikTok, deciding it was more worthy of his attention than listening to you two banter—something he had been experiencing for well over five years.

As a mutual friend of yours and Hyunjae’s since middle school, Kevin understood the frenemy dynamic better than either of you. Eventually, over the long years he had known you both, he learned to leave you two be. 

“What about me, though? Are you going to try and tattletale on me?” Hyunjae feigned sympathy as he gave you an exaggerated pout, tilting his head like a puppy’s. “C’mon. I’m just doing my job.”

“Sorry, but I don’t remember ‘being a dick’ being listed under the requirements for your oh-so-important position of power.” You huffed at him and crossed your arms, choosing to face elsewhere as you rooted the soles of your feet to the ground.

Hyunjae furrowed his brows, his eyes never leaving you, as he addressed the third party within the shared space.

“Kevin, was I being a dick, or is Y/N exaggerating?”

Kevin glanced up at his phone and scrunched his nose at Hyunjae in annoyance.

“Don’t even try to bring me into whatever…this mess is.”

“No, tell him,” you demanded, now looking at him. Your glare was enough to burn Kevin into ashes, but it was nothing compared to Hyunjae’s gaze piercing into your back. Knowing that he never looked away made you shiver, hating how fixated he seemed to be—and seemingly without reason too.

“Listen, I wasn’t being a dick. I was treating you the same way I treat everyone else. I’d honestly argue that you’re just narcissistic and think everything is about you when—”

“Oh wow, thank you for admitting that you’re a dick to everyone else!” You tossed your hands up for dramatic appeal as you spun back around to look at him. He scoffed, but his demeanor was quickly shadowed by a smirk that appeared on his lips, testing you with the arch of his brow.

“Oh really? Do you see anyone else complaining?”

“I’m complaining,” Kevin muttered.

“People don’t complain because they’re scared of you, Sherlock,” you retorted. At this point, Hyunjae had already caught onto your bullshit of making evidence up, and it was why this exchange ended up lasting for as long as it did. Nevertheless, his ego continued to build the more you spoke.

“You’re not scared of me?”

And you keep falling for the bait.

“Why should I? You’re nothing.” You approached him and pressed a finger into his chest, taunting him as you stared straight into his eyes.

Suddenly a competition seemed to have materialized because now you both were locking eyes, too stubborn to look away. 

“One day you’ll wake up and realize your position doesn’t mean shit. You take it too seriously and make everyone’s job your job when this should be a learning experience for the rest of us.”

“And who exactly is ‘us,’ babe?”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Don’t call me that–”

“And it’s also starting to sound like jealousy to me.” Hyunjae’s eyes finally shifted, but instead of looking away from you like you initially wanted him to, you trailed his line of sight down to your lips. He eyed them shamelessly—technically making you win the unspoken eye contact competition, but at what cost? “I won’t believe you until I receive firm evidence and testimonies from the other students in the club, then maybe I’ll consider your concerns. Deal?”

What you despised most was how well Hyunjae knew and provoked you to get under your skin. He was a raging flame, making your blood boil from both irritation and excitement. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but after nearly six years of banter with Hyunjae, you knew damn well you enjoyed every second of it. It was like a nonstop competition, and you were always on the edge of winning.

Maybe it was also because you were so used to him constantly being above you. He was the president of the student council, the swim team’s captain, and specifically the one who snatched the executive position away from you in the broadcasting team, yet somehow you were still able to compete at his level of arrogance and egotism. 

Even though you may never be able to top him in the foreseeable future, you at least knew how to match his fury—his fire, with your own.

“You’re pathetic.” You took a few steps back to gain some distance while his eyes flickered back up to yours. He bit his lip playfully, his smile only growing even wider.

“Woah, Y/N. Exposing my degradation kink so soon?”

“I-...you- w-what?!” you sputtered, your jaw falling slack as Kevin’s head snapped up, staring at the two of you in disgust.

“Get a room—!”

“I’m going to make sure you get degraded from your position, you freak!”

“Not exactly how that word works, princess, but I’m glad you’re at least passionate.” His cooing made you want to slap the living shit out of him, your eyes protruding from their sockets are you glared. 

“Are you fucking bricked up or something right now—?”

“Hey guys,” a woman’s voice called out. Your heads turned to look at the end of the hallway, catching one of the recreational center’s workers waving in your general direction. She pressed her lips together and smiled, attempting to be as professional and understanding as possible. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but is it okay if you guys turn it down a notch?”

You and Hyunjae both nodded and whispered apologies, feeling like kids who just got scolded for shoving paintbrushes down the drain. Fortunately, the worker’s smile radiated genuine warmth and consideration, providing you some sort of reassurance that you guys weren’t too much of a disturbance (even though you guys totally were).

“You two are the most childish fuckers I know,” Kevin deadpanned, finally shoving his phone away as he switched between looking at you and the man by your side. His eyebrows bunched up.

“And apparently horny too.”

“I would move across the country if it meant I never had to see him again,” you grumbled, striding back to the pile of equipment to pick up your backpack and the bag with all your reporting necessities (boring script, stationary, and a couple of notebooks shared with all the broadcasting students to collect notes and inspiration in). 

“Hello? I’m still here.”

“Look at that. He already misses me.”

“I’m going to hurl,” Kevin unnecessarily announced, and Hyunjae’s face soured.

“Ew.”

“Exactly. That’s how you two make me feel whenever you guys are together.” Kevin got up on his feet and grabbed the wrapper to shove into one of his pockets (no littering, kids) before outstretching his limbs dramatically. 

“I swear I developed back pain from always listening to you guys bicker.”

“Or, hot take,” Hyunjae interjected, “maybe it’s because you’re always sitting with your back arching forward like it belongs in the Arches National Park–”

“Yeah yeah, shut the fuck up.” Kevin waved him off with his hand and rolled his eyes. “I came here to help carry stuff, not listen to your bullshit.”

He picked up the bag that contained the camera and passed it to Hyunjae. He offered to hold one more thing, but with only his backpack and the tripod left, Kevin didn’t see much need for his friend’s assistance. 

Kevin then faced you, his face stern and rid of emotion.

“You too, Y/N,” he stated seriously. “None of this ‘he said this,’ ‘he said that,’ ‘please fuck me’ bullshit from you either.”

You gaped at him, arms wrapped tightly around the crew’s bag.

“Now why the hell do you think—”

“Zip it.”

Without giving you much of an opportunity to continue, Kevin sped off in front of you, ready to leave the building. You couldn’t even look at Hyunjae as heat rushed to your cheeks, struggling to trail after Kevin’s speedy steps.

Despite carrying heavier items, Hyunjae caught up to you with ease. You wanted nothing more than for Hyunjae’s feet to either slow down or speed up tremendously, but of course he purposely chose to walk by your side, attached to you by the hip.

“He sees it,” Hyunjae sing-songed. “Everyone sees it.”

“Sees what?” you snorted, oblivious to what he was indicating.

“That you want me,” he replied nonchalantly.

The moment you two stepped outside the doors of the center, you stopped to face him, trying to confirm what exactly he was implying.

“You can’t be serious.”

Hyunjae, who also stopped with your steps, shrugged.

“You’re the one in denial.”

Realizing that he was serious, you felt every muscle in your body tense up.

“Hyunjae,” you stated firmly. “I have a boyfriend, remember?”

Instead of receiving something witty from Hyunjae like normal, his relaxed facial features suddenly scrambled into one that expressed remote shock. His lips were slightly parted, eyes searching yours for any hint that indicated you were lying or messing around with him, but you were serious.

The aggressive playfulness from earlier had evaporated faster than boiling water, and you watched as he became stilled. Your heart started pounding, anxiety creeping up within you due to not being able to read Hyunjae like you normally do.

“Since when?” he asked. His voice was quiet, his tone firmer, and by now, Kevin was already by his car, too far from the two of you to understand what was going on. Hell, even you could barely understand what was happening.

“Earth to Hyunjae?” you joked, nervously laughing in an attempt to eliminate the newfound tension looming in the atmosphere. “It’s always been Jiwoong, remember?”

For a moment, Hyunjae could feel his mouth drying up. All his thoughts were held captive in his throat, and his lips remained parted as if they weren’t meant to collide at all. He stared at you like you had just teleported in front of him.

“Y/N,” he stated calmly, “he cheated on you.”

Your initial response was to get defensive, claiming that you already knew that because hell, it was your relationship, but then your brain acknowledged the true elephant in the conversation.

“How-...how the hell do you know about that?”

“I- You know word just-…That doesn’t matter. What matters is why in the world—”

“It was a mistake, okay?”

“A mistake?” As Hyunjae’s brows raised, so did his tone. “You know, people—decent people, don’t make mistakes like that.” 

Seeing how Hyunjae was gritting his teeth, how his eyes were locked on yours, built up a foreign frustration within you. Something about the way Hyunjae was behaving felt like he was trying to control you. 

All the rage from before had now returned, yet this time, there was no more leniency from you—not when Hyunjae was being more condescending than he had ever been.

“You know nothing, Hyunjae, so frankly, I really don’t care about what you think about my relationship with my boy-”

“You’re still with him??”

“Look,” you snapped. “Just because you have the luxury of crushing my hopes and dreams on a daily basis, it does not give you the right to dictate what’s wrong or right about my love life and my decisions. Understood?”

And just like how you always are, Hyunjae refused to shut up.

“How is it dictating when it’s common sense to dump a shitty person?” He dropped the bags onto the ground, and not once did he look away from you. “He’s never treated you well either, and you know that—”

“It’s not your decision to make,” you repeated. You could feel the three key elements of creating a fire stir up within you. You had the fuel, the oxygen, and the heat, and Hyunjae was the chemical chain reaction that would set it off. “How dense can you fucking be to not back down?”

“He cheated on you,” he reasserted, and there was a rage in his eyes that you had never once encountered. “He’s done so many shitty things, and he hasn’t changed–”

“Again, none of your fucking business–”

“And I’m pretty sure I saw—”

“I am not going to repeat myself-”

“Can’t you just listen to what I-”

“Drop it.” You were seconds away from yelling at him, ready to unleash all your anger because never once has someone threatened your love life—Jiwoong, the man you considered your soulmate. Your flame had officially engulfed his, and all Hyunjae could do was stare at you in disbelief and disappointment.

Turning to look away, you gazed up into the sky and scoffed, not understanding why tears had begun to pool up in your eyes. At the end of the day, Hyunjae meant nothing to you—you didn’t even consider him a friend.

After moments of experiencing what it was like to be suffocated by a tension so unbearable, you eventually found a way to ground yourself. 

“I can’t blame him, you know,” you whispered, using the back of your hand to wipe away your tears. “We were angry. He just–...he needed an outlet, and at that time, that outlet happened to not be me, okay?”

Hyunjae stared at you, his mouth desperate to say something, anything, to make you see what he sees—a relationship that isn’t meant to be. That you didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Maybe you were no more than an acquaintance to him, but he knew you have always deserved better. 

“He isn’t someone worth fighting for.”

“And that’s none of your business,” you scowled.

“It isn’t right—”

“Stay in your fucking lane, Jae.”

Hyunjae clamped his mouth shut, and the sight of you completely breaking down tore him apart. Possibly it was all the years you spent together growing up, constantly arguing, yet he knew he was always one to look out for you.

You sucked in a cheek, gnawing at it as your chest urged for you to forgive him, to apologize for lashing out without much notice, but in the end, you prioritized your pride over him.

Not only was Hyunjae’s persistence a stab to your heart, but you suspected that Kevin was the one who told him. By spilling your secrets, it was as if Kevin saw the knife that impaled you and yanked it out of your chest, causing you to bleed to your death.

“I’m done with this conversation,” you muttered, dropping the bag in your arms to the ground by his feet. Your plans had changed to you walking home alone, wanting nothing to do with the other two boys for the next hour or so.

When you turned around to walk away, you knew Hyunjae was going to try and say something. You knew him best whenever he was at his worst, so you spun around to face him for the last time that day to cut him off.

“Never fucking cross that line with me again, got it?”

And with that, you left. 

//

Kevin apologized to you the morning after.

He normally drove you to school, and you debated getting into his car when he showed up. Thankfully you chose to do otherwise because the second you stepped inside, Kevin was apologizing profusely. He talked about how anxious he was all night when Hyunjae told him what happened, and he wouldn’t have known what to do if you didn’t forgive him. Obviously you did, and the rest of the car ride was spent with him explaining his side of the story.

According to Kevin, he only told Hyunjae about how you got cheated on because it seemed like Hyunjae already knew. As Kevin recalled the whole scene, you two assessed the signs, such as how Hyunjae didn’t provide any sort of reaction when Kevin dropped the news. In fact, it had seemed like Hyunjae had brought it up to Kevin instead.

Regardless, it became the last of your worries because all that mattered was that you were back to being on good terms with your best friend.

But avoiding Hyunjae felt like lighting a match in the rain. 

It was your agonizing reality for the next two months, and although you could argue that you had gotten closer to your boyfriend during the supposed ‘Hyunjae Drought,’ you were still plagued with him being everywhere around you.

He was in all your classes, and you never truly processed the extent of how involved Hyunjae had always been throughout high school with you. You weren’t on the swim team, but you were stuck with him during meetings for both the broadcasting team and student council. 

Yet it all felt so different.

Unless he was called on, Hyunjae would talk much less unprovoked and would never look at you during meetings. When he would address the entire team, he would glance at you for a split second before looking elsewhere, no longer watching you like a hawk.

You had also gotten quieter because without Hyunjae to banter with, you recognized that you barely had friends in any of those classes either. 

There was no longer a fight between your flames, and you two kept as much distance as possible. You were thankful that there hadn’t been an instance that interrupted that, such as being forced to record more B-roll with him, and you could only hope that the rest of your senior year would remain the same. 

Then you would never have to see him in college.

Now you were back to being the mediocre student that faded into the background. People knew your name at best, but none have ever tried to become your friend aside from Kevin. No matter how involved you tried to get, the closest you were to anyone was a classmate. 

Hyunjae had always overshadowed you too, and for the first time in years, you were detached from his fumes—yet somehow, some way, the smoke from his fire would remain in your lungs, continuing to suffocate you even more than it had before. It didn’t give you that breath of fresh air of new friends or a better life; instead, it helped you realize that you didn’t matter. It was a miracle that you even scored Jiwoong as your boyfriend.

But then that begged the question: why did Hyunjae bother spending his time ridiculing you?

From the very beginning, you had always meant something to him, and you couldn’t pinpoint how or why. When there was no competition in academics, he treated it as if there was. Every time you ranted, he would listen, whether it be about him or something else. Even when you talked about how your chicken from the cafeteria was burnt, he would give you his own before calling you stupid for not noticing until you sat down.

He never shrugged you off like you were nothing or shut you down because your emotions were invalid. He entertained you each time with ease, and most importantly, he knew when to respect your boundaries. Hyunjae was probably the most mindful person you knew and could often tell when you were distressed or needed another form of reaction from him.

He knew when to stop.

Yet when it came to the one instance involving Jiwoong, he crossed the line multiple times. Why?

“Hyunjae isn’t here today.”

“Huh?”

“Didn’t show up for a single class.”

Kevin watched you play with your food with a fork, rolling the cold, barely spherical peas around and into the stale rice.

“That’s not like him,” he replied.

“Yeah.”

“I wonder why.”

“I wonder too.” 

After the driest possible conversation in existence, you sighed and dropped your fork into your tray.

“I need to stop forgetting to pack myself lunch. This shit makes me lose my appetite, I swear. We should call the police and tell them the food they’re serving is illegal and a disgrace to this country.” 

“Keep it away before I lose my appetite too.” 

You didn’t react nor respond to what Kevin said, letting the conversation rot as you pouted at your food. The cafeteria was unusually louder today, making it easier to space out into thought.

Kevin took out his sandwich with a wide grin and started eating, grateful he never had to deal with what the school was feeding thanks to his mom, but eventually his eyes shifted over to you. You were unmoving with your gaze locked onto an empty spot on the table, so after moments of debating between asking you what’s wrong and ignoring you to devour his lunch, he opted to set his sandwich aside and stared straight at you.

“Why are you thinking about him?”

That was enough to garner your attention, your head snapping up to stare at your best friend like he was the craziest person you knew for mentioning Hyunjae, much less suggesting that your mind was wrapped around him.

“What?”

“Hyunjae. With his perfect attendance, a day without him should be a blessing, yet you brought up how he didn’t show up today and then moped harder than anyone I’ve ever seen mope. You should be over the moon, dancing on the tables and stealing people’s food, not-...” Kevin waved a finger at you, “whatever this is. You seem out of it.”

“Well it’s not because of Hyunjae, I’ll tell you that,” you snorted. Your eyes fell back down to your tray, and the more you looked at it, the more nauseous you got. You scrunched your nose. “If anything, it’s probably because of this shit food.”

Kevin rolled his eyes before tearing his sandwich into halves. You perked at the sight and ogled the half Kevin taunted you with. You were about to thank him and take it into your possession before Kevin jerked back his arm, making you whine.

“Throw away your food, then I’ll give you it.”

“Fine,” you grumbled. As Kevin returned to his delicious, most scrumptious, packed lunch you had ever seen, you picked up your tray and walked it to the nearest trash can. As you dropped the whole thing inside, you heard your name being called.

“Y/N!”

You whipped around to check to see who it was and smiled at the sight of Eunseo waving at you. You wouldn’t consider her a good friend, but you knew her well enough since she was the vice president of the student council.

She ran over to you with a stack of paper in her arms, relieved to have caught you. 

“Y/N, hi! I’m so glad I found you. I was scared I wouldn’t because of how packed it is.”

She flashed you her usual glowing smile, and you noticed that she was a bit more giddy than usual, making you question why she was choosing to talk to you in the first place. All your conversations normally took place before, during, and after student council meetings, so this was slightly out of character.

“What’s up?” you asked. As you looked at her, you noticed how her outfit was slightly more put together than it normally was. She had on a cute top that suited her chest perfectly and a skirt that you had never seen her wear. 

“Your outfit’s really cute today.”

“Really?!” Her bright demeanor then faded into concern. “Wait, is it too noticeable or out of the blue? Is it bad?”

“No, no. Not at all!” you reassured. “It’s just the right amount of perfect.”

“Great! God, that means the world coming from you. It’s because!...” She stopped to glance around, making sure that no one was eavesdropping, before taking a step closer to whisper. “It’s because I was finally asked out on a date by my crush!”

She could barely contain her excitement, holding back a squeal with her bottom lip latched between her teeth. Her sunshine-like energy made you grin.

“That’s great! I’m glad you’re making progress.” Your eyebrows pinched as you tried to recall the last time Eunseo had updated you about her crush. “You’ve been pining after him for so long—whoever ‘him’ is, anyway.”

The question of who Eunseo liked had always gone unanswered. She never told anyone, not even the ones who knew her best, but she loved gushing about her mystery crush to everyone she knew. All people really knew, you included, was how down bad she was.

A part of you wondered if it was someone you knew—someone pretty like Juyeon or well-known like…Hyunjae.

“Oh, I wish I could tell you, and maybe I will if things go really well and we become official!” She squealed and hopped in her spot, unable to resist giving you a half-hug with her free arm. “This is so exciting, Y/N!”

“I’m really happy for you.” Your smile was genuine until you thought about why she was looking for you, starting to doubt that she called you over just so she could tell you about her date. 

“I’ll let you know how it goes, swear. But! That aside, I also have something for you.”

You knew it.

Your brows raised, and when you didn’t catch on, she gestured to the papers in her arms with guilt.

“I know this is kind of a dick move, and I’m really really sorry, but I promised to put up fliers for prom today. My date is right after my last class.” Her frown had deepened, and for a split second, you found yourself sympathizing with her because who wanted to let down such a cheerful personality, especially when this was life-changing for her?

“So you want me to do it?”

“Exactly! Please, that would be great. It shouldn’t take too long, too.”

You thought about how you would have to give up an evening of playing on your switch or extra time to study for an upcoming exam, but you knew it was your duty as secretary to help out whenever needed.

Not to mention that it would also make you a decent friend not to hold Eunseo back from her soon-to-be love life despite her poor date planning. If you were in her shoes, you would have wanted her to do the same for you too.

“Sure,” you accepted. “Why not?”

“You’re the best, seriously!” She handed you the fliers as she began to fill you in on the extra details.

“I already told Mr. Barajas that I wasn’t feeling well and that you were going to do it, so he said it all worked out and to not worry about it,” she rambled, happy to give the extra weight (both literally and metaphorically) to you. “I just printed these out, so everything should be perfect to go. Oh, and don’t worry about any extras! Just set them on Barajas’s desk when you’re finished. Hyunjae will also be in 142 with tape ready for you.”

The mention of the forbidden name nearly made every cell in your body halt. 

“What?”

Eunseo tilted her head at you, confused, before finally realizing.

“Oh crap, I forgot! I’m so sorry, I really did forget you guys weren’t on good terms. I hope it’s okay that he’s helping you out. I mean, he’s supposed to, but it was meant for him and me to do it together, not you two, so…God, I’m really sorry Y/N.”

Before you could even react to the newfound information, she continued.

“I really have to go now. Thank you again! I promise I’ll make it up to you!” And with her rosy pink cheeks and a stunning shade of red on her lips, she basically skipped away and waved goodbye to you with a smile, so you reciprocated it with an awkward one of your own. 

When she turned her back, your smile immediately dropped and you sighed heavily.

“Have fun on your date,” you mumbled, your eyes falling to fliers in your arms. As you skimmed the one on top, you noticed it was to promote going to prom while also including a big QR code to vote for who should be your school’s prom king and queen. You expected it since it was the last meeting’s topic of discussion, but what you weren’t aware of was who were listed as nominees.

There were eight names listed under ‘Prom Court,’ and while you expected Hyunjae’s, Eunseo’s, and your boyfriend’s names on it, your jaw nearly hit the ground at the sight of your own. 

//

With every passing class period, your anxiety would kick up a notch.

The dread of talking to the face you had been avoiding for two months engulfed you, and it caused you to develop the urge to ditch your current class to go hunt for Jacob, the student council’s historian. You wanted nothing more than to dump the stack of fliers into his arms, and knowing Jacob, he wouldn’t ask any questions. Hell, you were certain that if you asked him nicely, he would do it for you because of how naturally sweet and endearing he was.

But the guilt of ditching your secretary duties kept picking at your skin, and besides, all you had to do was treat Hyunjae like a colleague. That should be easy, right?

As you suffered through the last few minutes of class and your teacher’s incessant ramblings about the upcoming exam, your thoughts drifted over to what would happen the moment you stepped into room 142.

Hyunjae hadn’t shown up to a single class all day, yet he was expected to set up fliers after school. As your thoughts snowballed, you arrived at the baseless conclusion that maybe Eunseo wasn’t aware that Hyunjae was absent today, therefore someone else (like Jacob) would take over. 

Suddenly, your back had straightened with feigned interest in your teacher’s last few words. Something about Jacob being there instead of Hyunjae had excited you; it felt like you were free and that the universe was listening to your prayers. The gamble of seeing whether it would be Hyunjae or Jacob (or literally anyone else) had your right leg bouncing, eyes on the clock, and when the bell rang, you shot up from your seat, backpack over your shoulders and fliers in your arms, before dashing out of the classroom.

You sped down the hallway to 142, Mrs. Zhang’s room for Chemistry, bug-eyed, before having your delusions crushed at the sight of Hyunjae’s stupidly large height leaning against one of the counters. Your feet stood glued to the ground by the doorway, your eyes locked onto him. 

Covered from head to toe in sweats, Hyunjae was immersed in whatever was on his phone, scrolling through something as his brown curls peeked out from inside his hood. Without any hint of him acknowledging your presence, your shattered hopes slowly began to rebuild.

Maybe if you were quiet enough, you could sneak out with the tape and do everything on your own, avoiding him at all. Actually, scratch that. You didn’t even need the tape. All you had to do was go to another teacher’s room, steal their tape for half an hour, and then return it with ease.

The plan was effortless, and you mentally smacked your forehead for not thinking of it earlier. Right as you were about to execute it, your backpack slammed against the doorframe as you turned on your heels. 

“Nice try.”

You groaned out of embarrassment (and slight pain) and forced yourself to turn around. Hyunjae’s phone was now face down on the counter, and his arms were crossed over his abdomen. His face remained stoic as his eyes met yours, wielding a tension you didn’t recognize.

Now that you could properly look at him, you noticed a few details that you hadn’t before, such as the small tear on his lower lip and the bandaid on his cheekbone. If you looked long enough, you could catch light patches of purple across his skin, and the sight hindered all your thoughts, your brain too occupied with piecing together how he ended up like this. 

“What happened?” you blurted, your gaze shooting up from his lips to his eyes.

Hyunjae staggered at your suddenty, but he managed to keep himself stilled, his brows pinching. 

“What do you mean?”

Even if Hyunjae didn’t mean to, his question became an invitation for your unfiltered thoughts to spill out of your mouth.

“You didn’t show up for any of our classes today,” you began, “but now you’re here? For some stupid fliers? You’re barely dressed properly like you normally are, your hair isn’t straightened, you look pale, Jae, and what’s up with the bruises or the bandaid on your cheek–”

“Are you seriously psychoanalyzing me?” he asked with a scoff. There was no humor in his tone. Instead, it looked as if he was irritated, perhaps even more than you were. 

Hyunjae barely met your eyes, and his arms closed himself off from you. 

“What–?”

“You’re evaluating me like I’m some sort of lab project, Y/N.”

“No, no I’m not,” you rejected. “I’m just saying things are a little off.” You kept your eyes firm on his, even as he pushed himself off the counter with his phone and made his way over to you. “And you know, you really can’t blame me for being somewhat worried when one, you don’t show up, and two, you look like a whole mess—”

“Just hand over the fliers—” he interrupted, gritting his teeth as he outstretched his arm in your direction. You dodged him by turning your body 180 degrees and stood your ground.

“What happened?” you repeated, this time more firmly.

Hyunjae looked at you, a blank expression on his face, before turning back around to grab the roll of tape left on the teacher’s desk. When he returned, he shoved it into your arms while simultaneously stealing half the stack. You protested with an exclaimed ‘Hey!’ yet he didn’t bat an eye and skimmed over the contents of the flier on top.

Bothered by his lack of response, you frowned and made sure to block the doorway, refusing to let him leave until you received answers.

“Why are you acting like this? Pretending that I’m not even—”

“I’ll do upstairs, you do downstairs,” he muttered.

“Did you get into a fight? Why weren’t you here today? Why are you here now—”

“You’d think you’d know,” he finally answered, pushing past you like you weighed none less than a feather.

Your brain had fully malfunctioned at that point, unable to decipher what he meant as Hyunjae walked off to the nearest staircase. As his footsteps echoed down the hall, you thought about what he was implying yet came to no resolution. Did he assume that you were caught up in your school’s latest gossip? Or that you were the main admin for his biggest fan page on Instagram?

The idea made you snort, and you scowled bitterly at his childish attitude. It wasn’t like you were a complete stranger intruding on his personal life—hell, you felt like you deserved an explanation because of how you were forced to do this with him. 

As you stormed off past the remaining lingering students to the nearest bulletin board, you questioned how you were going to do this on your own. 

You had put up fliers countless times in the past few years yet never alone. Luckily, you had a general idea of where the fliers should go when it came to the school’s hallways, but as you approached your first destination, you struggled with ripping off pieces of tape while holding the stack at the same time. It would’ve been easier with a partner by your side, one who either did the tape ripping or placing of the fliers, but you weren’t desperate enough to fall into the role of a helpless princess in need of her pretty (useless) prince. 

After some trial and error, you found a method that consisted of setting the stack on the ground occasionally so you could rip off pieces of tape. Then you would slap said pieces of tape onto your wrist, having them readily available as you put up a few fliers at a time.

Although slightly time-consuming, it was working well and kept you at a steady pace until you heard crashing footsteps behind you from afar. Without paying any mind to it, you bit back your curiosity in order to focus on the wall in front of you, but then you made the mistake of taking a step back, bumping into the person who was sprinting. 

You lost your balance and fell forward before catching yourself shortly after. However, the fliers had already flown out of your arms, scattering across and down the long hallway.

Ready to curse out the offender for running down the hallway, you were surprised when you saw that it was Eunseo behind you, pouring out apologies while a loopy grin was smacked onto her face.

You steadied your anger and told her it was okay, getting down onto your knees to collect all the fliers. Her ‘sorry’s could only go so far with her smeared lipstick, a dazed gaze, and her hair holding the mold to someone else’s (presumably her crush’s) hands in them, but you still excused her, knowing that she was over the moon right now.

“It’s okay, Eunseo, I promise.” You forced out a chuckle as you crawled to scavenge for the ones that flew a few feet away.

“I really didn’t mean to,” she pouted, but it was shortly followed up with bubbly giggles. “God, Y/N, can you believe this? Oh, it’s going so well! I think I love him, I do.”

“Good for you,” you grumbled, hoping that she didn’t hear it as you continued to move down the hallway, hating how far the fliers had escaped from you. You also hated how she just stood there without intent on helping you at all. 

“I have to really go now. Got volleyball practice soon, but I think I’m seeing him tomorrow too!” She waved you goodbye.

And just like that, she continued running off. 

You stared at how you were only able to collect half the mess, hating how Eunseo had somehow managed to delay you even further from being in the comfort of your bed. You were also salty at how her date was taking place at the school, wishing she could’ve dragged him around while she taped stuff up before getting dick-downed of some sort.

Deciding that she and her business weren’t worth your time, you continued to pick everything up as quickly as you could, wanting nothing more than to go home.

When you finally finished collecting every last flier, you were prepared to get back into the groove of things before feeling your phone vibrate in the side pocket of your backpack. Wondering if it was something important, you took it out and beamed at the idea of it being a new message from Jiwoong.

Dating him felt like falling in love with him all over again whenever he texted. Your heart would pound in your chest when you thought about him and explode whenever he gave you his attention and time. You were addicted to him, especially knowing that he was yours after liking him since middle school.

So to say you were disappointed was far worse than an understatement. It was from a number you hadn’t saved yet always recognized and undoubtedly remembered by heart.

Of course it was Hyunjae.

You had Hyunjae’s phone number due to previous class projects and group chats, but you had never once saved it because you thought he was undeserving of being a contact in your phone. Nonetheless, with how the years have passed and how much his number infiltrates every group chat you were in, it was only fair that your brain had unintentionally memorized all ten digits.

The message he sent consisted of him saying that he was done with the fliers, and you rolled your eyes. Even after the way he treated you earlier, he still chose to let you know and brag about how fast he was. 

You shoved your phone away vigorously, ready to return to your slapping-fliers-on-walls duty, before perking at the sound of footsteps behind you once more.

Automatically assuming it was Eunseo or another student staying after for a club or sport, you were stunned when you heard his voice. 

“You’re not even halfway yet?”

In no fucking universe are you turning around; not for him.

“Go gloat somewhere else,” you snapped. The next flier you taped up was nearly slammed onto the wall, but Hyunjae was left unphased by your sudden outburst. He stood next to you and remained quiet, even when you left to place the next flier a few feet away on the opposite wall.

When he didn’t follow, you sighed out of relief, yet somehow you couldn’t help but peek at him, eyeing his hands that were tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. He was staring straight at the lopsided flier you had put up, and when you decided you had enough of peering at him, he was back by your side.

 “What are you doing?” you grumbled. He was the one who pushed you away, yet now here he was, glued to your side like how he was two months ago. 

“You’re taking too long.”

“I had a mishap,” you explained, “but that’s none of your concern.” The lines on your forehead bunched up, and you waved him off, bending down to place the stack on the ground. Figuring it wasn’t weird at all, you continued your method of ripping off pieces of tape and slapping it onto your wrist.

And Hyunjae was totally judging.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Just go home.”

Despite being on the ground and sitting on your heels, you could physically feel the heat on the back of your head due to his eyes burning a hole into your skull, and for a split second, you knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I can do it myself,” you explained. 

“What are you even doing?” 

“Can you just go?” You picked up the stack once again as you rose to your feet, doing your best to avoid whatever look was on Hyunjae’s face. He was probably stifling a laugh or keeping his expression smug, but when you did cave and peek, his face was still solemn, his eyes on your wrist with concern.

“You’re struggling.”

“Thank you for your observation, Mr. Obvious,” you retorted.

“Let me do it.”

Taken aback, you whipped your head over to his direction.

“You’re kidding.”

“You don’t even want to be here,” he reasoned through gritted teeth. “Just go, and you can thank me later.”

“Thank you?!” Appalled at his audacity, you couldn’t help but laugh out of disbelief. “Seriously, Hyunjae? You want me to thank you for stealing my job? Again? You can’t be fucking serious.”

“Because you can’t take any criticism ever, or in this case, any form of help, so just let me do it.”

Hyunjae was eerily calm about the whole ordeal, his energy far from matching yours.

“I do take help,” you refuted. “I just don’t take yours, and neither do I need it, too.”

“You’re so goddamn stubborn.” And within a blink of an eye, he had managed to snatch the stack of fliers from you. 

“Hey!” you yelled, feeling as if it was deja vu from earlier (you really needed to step up your defense), and reached out to take them back, but he was quick to turn his body, shielding them from you.

“Give me the tape and go,” he urged, emotionless. The Hyunjae in front of you now was someone you truly didn’t recognize because the Hyunjae you knew would have made fun of you and held the fliers above your head, teasing you for being so weak.

Yet he stood still, creating a barrier between you and the duty that was forced upon you. You didn’t want to be here anyway, yet you were so insistent on making sure Hyunjae wasn’t stealing your work again. You weren’t incapable, and you hated how he always managed to be faster.

Even now, he was miles away from being playful with you, and yet he still had a way to shove it in your face.

“Hyunjae, I swear—”

“Give me the tape, and you can run off to your little boyfriend waiting for you by the entrance.” 

Your lips parted at his words, eyes wide as you worked to comprehend his words. You questioned how he knew about Jiwoong’s whereabouts, how he knew that Jiwoong was waiting and that you didn’t, but knowing that he was serious, you reluctantly gave up and dropped the roll of tape on the ground, forcing him to pick it up. 

You were sick of constantly arguing with him, and even if he was lying about Jiwoong, at least you would be away from Hyunjae. There was no point in fighting for your dignity anymore, not when Hyunjae’s narcissism was insufferable.

By walking away with heavy and quick strides, you hoped he felt humiliated by how poorly he was treating you—how he had always treated you like this.

As much as you wanted it to be true, you hoped Hyunjae was lying just so you had more evidence against his self-absorbed and shitty personality, but alas, you found Jiwoong standing precisely where Hyunjae said he was.

Regardless, all stress and frustrations had lifted from your being, and you called out to your boyfriend with a smile that would make your cheeks ache in minutes. 

“Woong!” You waved your hands with a small bounce in your steps as you rushed over to him.

Your boyfriend’s head shot up, surprised to see you. His utter shock quickly switches to one of sheer happiness, tucking his device away before opening his arms for you.

“Hey, baby!”

You tossed yourself into his embrace, hugging him tight after pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“What are you doing here?” With your face in his neck, your voice came out muffled, and it made Jiwoong laugh.

“Had to stay after to discuss my grades with a teacher, then I decided to stay back a bit for you.” He cooed and kissed the top of your head, holding you incredibly close. When you pulled back, his hands had moved from behind your backpack to your hips instead, holding them as you stared up at him.

“You were waiting for me?” you asked, eyes wide with stars in them.

“Of course I was, baby.” 

You were radiating, feeling happier than ever. The last time you saw Jiwoong was a week ago, and with your clashing schedules, you two very rarely get the opportunity to make plans. Your hands rested atop his shoulders, and when he pulled you in for a kiss, you smiled.

But then it fell.

Something felt off.

//

If someone were to inquire Hyunjae about who his heart belonged to, your name would be his answer—whether he intended to say it or not. 

Hyunjae had always been considered the school’s favorite. His intelligence may not be up to par with others, but his authority was what made him a prominent member of your high school. Some blame it on his looks, but most were aware enough to know that wasn’t the case.

Hyunjae knew how to think on his feet, and his problem-solving skills outwitted everyone within his grade level. Reaching tranquillity had never been an issue for him, allowing him to be levelheaded while making decisions. He emitted an aura that made classmates truly listen to him and the ideas he shared, and overall, it made him a great contender to lead every group and organization he was in. 

Additionally, Hyunjae’s heart was what won over most people. His lack of vulnerability seemed to be his only flaw, but it was an obstacle he could overlook when it came to empathizing with others. By actively being involved in the community through volunteering and holding fundraisers, everyone could recognize Hyunjae’s devotion to hope for humanity. 

All these traits were what led Hyunjae up onto the pedestal and the public eye, a household name for all families in the district. Titles and awards naturally gravitated towards him throughout the years, resulting in him winning the vote as president of your school’s student council and enough scholarships to provide him a full ride at most universities.

It was safe to say that competition against Lee Hyunjae was sparse, and you were no different. 

Your grades would teeter around his standard, hence how you two collectively ended up in the same classes, but aside from that, you had nothing else that could compare to what he was capable of.

Except for one thing; your fury.

There was an inferno inside you at all times, and instead of your body shielding off your heart with steel, people around you would come to find out that your heart was the reason for that large blaze of fire, possessing a passion unlike any other. 

Hyunjae had never once seen a peer with as much fight as you. It was a trait only you encapsulated, one that you weren’t afraid to express. You stood up for yourself and your beliefs, and it was easy to pick fights with him when he had been troubling you from the very moment you two were assigned to sit next to each other in seventh-grade algebra. 

Hyunjae yearned for you ever since, his only want being your attention. You gave him the drive to succeed in high school and thrive in his senior year, and he was positive that he wouldn’t be doing this well without a reason to show off in front of you. He wanted your praise, your acknowledgment, but he loved the chase the most. 

Unfortunately, that was the exact reason he ended up here.

The chase was what made him fall for every part of you, wanting nothing more than your lips on his and the ability to have you by his side at all times, but it was also what landed you with your current boyfriend.

It was like his life was a video game with God giving him the hardest difficulty setting by making sure you were obsessed with someone undeserving of all that he wanted. There wasn’t even a chance of you two possibly being friends in your eyes. Meanwhile, Hyunjae would argue that you two had more chemistry than any other couple in your class, but that hope was crushed, shredded, and stomped on when he found out you still devoted your love to Jiwoong.

Regardless, it didn’t change who you were as a person. Your heart was still just as large and beautiful, and your drive to succeed hadn’t lessened. The bickering never faltered, and it wasn’t like Hyunjae was opposed whenever you expressed disgust at the thought of him being turned on because of you (and that was because he found the idea of you thinking about him hot—yes, his expectations were that low). 

So it was why after two months of almost zero to no contact, you treating him as if those months didn’t exist created the largest dilemma he had ever faced. He spent the next week thinking about your intentions and why you seemed to care so much, specifically right after when Hyunjae had willed himself to believe that he meant jackshit to you. You effortlessly toyed with his heart, leaving him in everlasting misery, while you seemed to do completely fine.

What was a typical and ideal lifestyle for you was a nightmare and tormenting hellhole for Hyunjae. He didn’t just crave the warmth and comfort from your undying flames.

He wanted to burn.

Insanity engulfed him on the days spent without you, leaving him to wonder why you had to make things extensively worse by pointing out his absence or how he had put less effort into his hair. Why did it seem like the concern you expressed was genuine? Why pretend that you cared for him as much as he cared for you?

He was going insane—so insane that he drove to a college party with three other friends in his sedan on a Wednesday night. 

It was being held by a fraternity he and his friends were far more than familiar with thanks to Jongin, an upperclassman he met in his sophomore year and remained friends with since then. The beginning of the senior year marked the origin of parties and hook-ups in weak sporadic attempts to get over you. 

At this rate, Hyunjae could argue that he was more experienced than half of the current college freshmen class. Getting girls in bed was the easiest part; the hardest part was forgetting about you. From what was a method created to move on from you became one that prepared him for when you wanted sex with him. 

But with your constant longing for Jiwoong, Hyunjae made sure that this party would be different.

Although accustomed to having sex with various women, Hyunjae had never been one to drink. This was a fact about him that raised brows, specifically Jongin’s when he first tried urging Hyunjae with a drink, but tonight he vowed to change that. He was normally their designated driver, but when Hyunjae informed Sangyeon of his plan, the elder was more than delighted to remain sober so Hyunjae could get a taste of alcohol.

“Hey, man! It’s about time!” Jongin exclaimed the instant he found out about Hyunjae’s willingness to drink, pulling a fresh bottle out of the cooler specifically for his friend.

“That’s what I told him!” Sangyeon projected his voice over the music, giving Hyunjae a supportive pat on the back.

Hyunjae rolled his eyes at his friends’ remarks and thanked Jongin for the beer, hanging around by the counter as the three conversed and caught up. The two laughed at the way Hyunjae’s face scrunched up at the taste, Sangyeon shoving him lightly with the claim that Hyunjae was being overdramatic. 

With his earlier mindless decision of tossing on a mesh long-sleeve shirt over his black tank top, Hyunjae had attracted another partygoer by his side momentarily after his first sip. She wrapped her arms around one of his and inserted herself into the conversation with hopes of getting Hyunjae in bed by the end of the night, and crazily enough, he considered it for a moment before feeling his phone vibrate in his back pocket.

Normally it would be something he’d ignore, but it remained persistent, signifying that he was receiving a call. He didn’t know who would be calling at this hour—well, aside from Minghao and his usual complaints about Hyunjae partying as a high schooler on a school night. 

After setting the glass down on the counter to grab his phone, any urgency to intoxicate himself as quickly as possible vanished the very second he saw your name glowing on his screen. With an awkward retraction of his arm and a forced cough, Hyunjae excused himself and answered the call.

“Hello?”

With music pounding inside his ear canals, it was expected that he couldn’t hear anything you were saying. He navigated through various crowds to reach the entrance of the house, his heart replicating the booming vibrations from the loudspeakers as he prayed that you wouldn’t hang up on him.

“Okay, I…I should be free now,” he stammered after stepping outside. The sudden stillness of Mother Nature was a drastic change from the party scene, coercing him to focus on his racing heartbeat and the anxiety accumulating in his tightening chest. He was breathing heavily, both from pushing through people in a rush and also because of you. 

You never failed to render him weak and helpless, leaving him like a puppy longing for their owner’s guidance.

There was a silence, but he could hear your gentle breaths hitting your phone.

“I need a ride.”

Hyunjae blinked, his body tensing up, as the many thoughts in his brain scrambled to make meaning of what you meant. However, it didn’t matter because you hung up shortly after, leaving him alone to revel in your words.

Your bluntness and suddenty made Hyunjae malfunction, his thoughts leading him to question if he had even heard you correctly. Rarely did you ever reach out to him, and what could you need him for? Especially after lashing out at him and ignoring him for two months? Of course, there was that one day a week ago when you two were forced to talk together, the day he was given a one-day suspension, but you two returned to treating each other like strangers like it was natural.

He stared at his phone in hopes of receiving more information, that you’d perhaps call again to reconfirm or say you had the wrong number. He felt like he was dreaming—that the person he had wanted for so long needed him for once, but he couldn’t help but also believe that this may be the beginning of another nightmare. 

But it was you, and Hyunjae was willing to risk it.

After checking his call logs to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he rushed back into the fraternity house, thankful he didn’t proceed with drinking any more than he did. 

He found everyone exactly where he had left them (the girl included) and announced his departure. The girl made sure Hyunjae knew how disappointed she was, but that was his last concern as he grabbed the beer bottle and handed it to Sangyeon, giving him a pat on the back.

“Drink up and find an Uber.”

“No fucking way you’re leaving us this soon, man.” Jongin shook his head in disapproval, his forearms resting against the countertop.

“Another time, I promise, yeah?” Hyunjae started walking away, waving to them as his heart continued to thrum in his chest.

“He’s lying,” Sangyeon snorted, taking a swig before bidding Hyunjae a bitter goodbye. “You owe me!"

Hyunjae ran out of the house, his legs making quick and long strides as he ran to his parked car down the block. His newfound adrenaline made him think about what he was sacrificing to be with you. Was leaving the party and betraying his friends worth spending even a second with you? What if you were asking him to drive you and your boyfriend somewhere? Could his heart even deal with being used like that?

But as much as Hyunjae hated it, he knew he was making the right choice. The self-respect he had for himself was buried six feet deep beneath the surface of the earth when it came to you. 

God, he really hoped he wasn’t hallucinating.

For a split second, Hyunjae truly debated what he was doing after getting into his car. He was already driving, but he didn’t know where to go. Luckily, it didn’t take you long to send him a text with your location, and it was a place he was familiar with. 

It was a park that he often frequented as a kid since it resided by his old neighborhood, and he was thankful he knew exactly where to go because he knew he would’ve definitely crashed the car while pulling up your location on his GPS. Hyunjae was doubtful it was the alcohol in his system making his fingers shake and his mind uneasy. He blamed you for his hysteria, one that had developed over years of endless longing. 

Luckily the drive wasn’t long thanks to the roads being mainly void of other vehicles (and maybe he did speed a few times, but he considered it justified). Before pulling into the parking lot, he spotted a lone figure curled up on a nearby bench. A small weight had been lifted off of him, relieved it was just you, and he parked aimlessly while his eyes rested on you.

You seemed unphased by his added presence, your arms unmoving as they stayed wrapped around your legs. The bench you were sitting in was facing away from the parking lot, but with his headlights illuminating the view in front of you, you certainly had to know he was there. 

In an ideal world, Hyunjae would leave his car, join you by your side, and, if he was lucky, he’d pull you into his arms and hold you close against his chest. He wanted to be there for you in whatever way he could, but he ended up being a deer in headlights, too afraid to make the wrong move and lose you again.

He sat there for a minute, watching you, and as soon as he received the confidence to reach for the handle of his door, you were up on your feet. His fingers paused midair as he traced your movements, his arm eventually falling to his side as you approach his car. 

Despite how slow his mind was working, Hyunjae knew to unlock the car right as you opened it (he would’ve died out of embarrassment if he had forgotten), and neither of you greeted the other.

Without any explanation from you, Hyunjae refrained from staring at you like he normally would, but your outfit made it incredibly difficult. It wasn’t much, just an oversized long-sleeved shirt that reached your thighs, but it was far from the usual clothes he’d seen you wear, like jeans and a nice-fitting blouse. For a moment, he believed you had no pants on, but then he knocked some sense into himself, realizing that you were probably wearing shorts that were hidden.

While Hyunjae attempted to keep his composure and respect your boundaries, you were eyeing him shamelessly, once again analyzing every detail about him. Beads of sweat pooled up on the back of his neck, and his hair was straightened yet fuzzy. As your eyes trailed downwards, you noticed how the mesh hugged his biceps, catching every crease that defined his muscles. He was quiet, his index finger resting against his lips. 

Where did he even come from?

And why was he so quick to listen?

You held back your tongue from dumping out your thoughts, knowing your questions would end up unanswered like before. Your body instinctively rested against the divot between the car door and your seat, keeping your distance from Hyunjae. He was meant to be a stranger, perhaps someone you loathed, yet there was an odd comfort that encased you from him just sharing the same air as you.

You cleared your throat, turning your head to look away when he flinched and snapped his gaze towards you.

“Drive.”

Your demand was no louder than a whisper, but Hyunjae picked it up effortlessly and was already backing out.

“Where to?”

“Anywhere.” Hyunjae raised a brow at your answer, and you buried yourself further into his seat, directing your gaze out the door. “Just-...anywhere, Jae.”

The nickname had his throat tightening and his chest leaping, nodding in your direction as he drove on autopilot. With no destination in mind, he strolled through familiar roads, his fingers tapping against the wheel. 

You stayed silent, creating a tension that was unbearably thick, yet none of you felt the need to leave; neither of you wanted to leave the other, even if it meant having to deal with the looming elephant in the room (or in this case, Hyunjae’s car).

After spotting the recreational center from afar and its empty parking lot, he instinctively pulled in. There wasn’t a proper explanation for why he decided it’d make a great destination, especially when it was the place that created a rift in your relationship with him, but it felt right.

It was empty, open, and serene—a perfect place to stay as the moon shined.

Hyunjae stepped out of the car after parking in the middle of it, and when you didn’t follow, he moved to your side and opened the door. He was hesitant but took the risk of offering his hand to you, a warm, nervous smile on his face. He wanted you to know he was there to listen, to be there for you, because, Lord, he would hand you the world if he could.

“I’m not in the mood for walking,” you mumbled, but Hyunjae shook his head.

“We’re not going to walk, I promise.”

Your eyes flickered up to his briefly, skeptical of what he had planned, but ultimately caved. You ignored his hand, and he pulled it back with regret. When you stood there, your eyes on the sky, he closed the door behind you and guided you to the hood of his car.

Without a second thought, he sat on top of it and gestured for you to do the same.

“I sit here all the time. Helps me think.” He leaned back against his windshield, his hands holding the back of his head as he kept his eyes on the sky. When you didn’t move, he started to feel stupid, wondering if you two were better off in the car, but then you joined him. 

You copied his position, staring upwards as your hands rested over your abdomen. 

Hyunjae opted to keep to himself, deciding that he didn’t want to make this worse for the two of you. Instead, he fixated his thoughts on the stars in the sky.

There were only a few, but it was a rare sight due to the constant air pollution in your city, so he considered it a miracle. You, on the other hand, were spacing out in thought, and Hyunjae could tell through his occasional peeks. Without much control, his eyes started tracing down your arms. They then landed on where the hem of your shirt rested, now looking at your bare thighs.

Feeling as if he just reverted back to being the shyest virgin in the country, he gulped and immediately looked elsewhere, trying to get you off his mind despite you being right next to him. His racing heart was all that he could hear, and now he wondered if you could hear it too—if you knew how much you affected him.

And your voice broke the silence.

“How long have you known?”

Okay, maybe his brain did fall out of his skull because Hyunjae had no idea what you were talking about. He turned his head and caught how you stared up at the sky. Your eyes were glossy, holding the reflections of the whole galaxy within them. They sparkled, and for a beat, Hyunjae had forgotten your question, too infatuated with your beauty. 

His silence resulted in you turning your head, gaze meeting his, and that was when he noticed the tears.

“About Jiwoong and Eunseo.”

Your light, your flames, his burning desire; all were gone in a flash.

Your voice was delicate, and Hyunjae knew that with one move, he could break you.

Directing his gaze heavenward, Hyunjae sighed and brought his arms down to rest over his chest. Somehow he was able to feel all the pain you were experiencing, his heart twisting while his stomach churned and sloshed around in his body. He thought about how to respond as he chewed on the inside of his lip, questioning if he should answer at all to avoid hurting you.

But you asked, and as always, Hyunjae delivered.

“I don’t think I ever really knew until last week,” he explained, “but I could always tell.” Suddenly, the fight from a week ago had resurrected, and Hyunjae was forced to relive it all.

The hallways were empty when Hyunjae left the broadcasting room, a backpack strap slung over his shoulder while the other dangled behind him. He was in the middle of scrolling through his emails when he picked up on the sound of Jiwoong’s voice around the corner. 

His footsteps halted, and Hyunjae caught Jiwoong’s fatal words.

“How does tomorrow sound?”

Eunseo’s squeals followed after, and Hyunjae stood motionless.

At first, Hyunjae had no thoughts circulating in his brain, but after hearing their lips collide, he started coming up with solutions, such as interrupting or taking a video to send to you. Unfortunately, before he could act on either of them, he heard footsteps dashing off, practically skipping, as the two bidded one another goodbye. 

Hyunjae couldn’t pinpoint the reasoning behind his upcoming actions, but he knew how to describe how he felt. 

Anger was the first and only emotion to surge up within him, his fingers instinctively balling up into fists. His muscles had tightened while a forest fire ran rampant through his veins, causing his blood to boil. 

Then with quick strides, Hyunjae shoved his phone away and made a sharp turn around the corner, tossing his backpack on the ground after spotting Jiwoong against the lockers. The latter had a dazed look on his face, his lips curled into a smirk as he typed away on his phone, but that was changed once he looked up at the sound of Hyunjae’s backpack crashing against the ground in front of him.

There wasn’t a second in between Jiwoong’s face of surprise and Hyunjae’s arm being raised, and before Jiwoong could react, Hyunjae’s fist had slammed into his jaw. 

It was a blur from there, but Hyunjae knew he had won even after authorities dragged him off Jiwoong’s body. He had received a few jabs in return, but it was nothing compared to the black eye Hyunjae gave him.

The fact that Jiwoong managed to cover it up with makeup the day after was a miracle, and no one in the school knew about the fight since it happened after school. Hyunjae wanted it to stay that way, but a selfish, cruel part of him wished that everyone knew how sick your boyfriend was.

Well, now he was unsure if he was still your boyfriend. 

Hyunjae turned his head back towards you, his cheek meeting the cold metal of his car.

You pursed your lips at his response and nodded slowly. If it were any other day, you wouldn’t have believed him. There was no universe where you’d choose to listen to Hyunjae over Jiwoong, but after a week of investigating and getting your head out of your ass, you found out on your own terms, and all the pieces made sense.

“I didn’t mean to.”

Hyunjae’s voice jerked you out of your thoughts, and as you adjusted to look back at him, you were surprised to still find him staring at you.

“I’m not a violent person, Y/N,” he whispered, an enduring hope lingering in his eyes. He wanted you to believe him, and for once, you did; you truly understood the man you hated most.

“I know, Jae.”

Hyunjae eased at your words, and the two of you fell back into a more comfortable yet aching silence. His fingers drummed against his abdomen, and after a while, he got sick of looking at the same four stars, so he closed his eyes, focusing on enjoying the light breeze instead. His heart was still racing, but it was less alarming. Regardless, he hated knowing that he potentially contributed to how much you were hurting right now.

Maybe if he had done something to prevent it earlier, whether it be telling you as soon as he found out or keeping completely out of your business so you could live in bliss, or, if he wasn’t so scared, he could’ve asked you to be his far before Jiwoong had. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, but Hyunjae would never know since he never tried, and now he was going to beat himself over it because now you’re devastated over losing your boyfriend and it was potentially his faul—

You laughed.

Hyunjae snapped his head towards you, his brows raised at your sudden change in mood—but it wasn’t the type of laugh he expected. Your laugh was one filled with pain, and he watched you shake your head, trying to refuse the tears that were rapidly welling up in your eyes once more. You sniffed and wiped the tears away with the back of your hand, choosing to look in the opposite direction because the last thing you wanted was for Hyunjae to see you vulnerable.

“It’s stupid,” you murmured. “This entire thing is stupid. I’m so fucking dumb.”

His lips parted to interject, to tell you that you were, in fact, ‘not dumb,’ but he clamped his mouth shut, knowing that his words probably wouldn’t help. From what he’d learned in the past, you liked it least when he tried telling you otherwise, no matter the situation. 

“I should’ve known. I did know. The whole world knew. Even you knew, but it makes me think, was Eunseo just flocking around, flaunting to everyone that she had a crush on my boyfriend and managed to win him over? I just—I…I don’t know-...” You paused to catch your breath, beginning to choke on your tears as your chest shook, “I don’t know what I did wrong, you know?”

You shut your eyes, allowing the pain to engulf you. You knew fully well that your punishment was to deal with the pain, but you felt like you didn’t deserve it—that you deserved none of this. Why was this a penalty for being in love?

It was humiliating having everyone witness the reality you shielded from yourself, choosing hope and love over the truth. 

“I just never felt more stupid in my life, and I feel even more stupid knowing that I still love him.”

Hyunjae sucked in his lips, gnawing on them as he bit back all his feelings, from his brain shredding to his heart weeping.

“I love him so much that I would let him do it to me all over again because I keep thinking he’d be better. I know he can be better, so why-...It’s just- Why do I do this to myself?”

Tears cascaded down your cheeks, each one leaving behind a trail for others to fall. They started pouring out of you rapidly, soon sobbing at the heart-wrenching pain of being betrayed by everyone in your life, Hyunjae included, because why, out of everyone, was he here for you when he should be the last person who cared?

You always wanted Hyunjae to be the antagonist of your life story, to have him as your biggest enemy and threat, so why was everyone else but him hurting you? Why was the villain of your fantasy taking the role of your knight in shining armor?

And yet, as much as it pained Hyunjae to process all your emotions, his mind wasn’t running correctly; he had you alone for the first time in months. He wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and whisper words of comfort in your ears, knowing you deserved it more than anyone, but he also wanted to shake you awake and slap you out of your misery, praying that you’d forget about Jiwoong; that right now, you being vulnerable was his chance to swoop in, to set whatever you wanted him to into flames, as long as if it meant you’d end up okay. 

You sat up because if you lied down any longer, you would’ve started drowning in your own tears. Your sleeves were soaked, and he sat up alongside you, figuring that he should do something about it.

Hyunjae got back onto his feet and stood in front of you. He barely knew what he was doing, but that didn’t stop him from replacing your sleeves with his cold, clammy hands over your cheeks. There wasn’t a time that Hyunjae could recall where he had been this gentle with someone, and when you didn’t push him away, he tilted your head up to look at him.

Even with tears running down your cheeks, you looked angelic as ever. 

Each droplet mirrored a star from the sky, and your eyes sparkled as they stayed locked on his.

“Take me,” you whispered, and Hyunjae’s whole world stopped. 

“...What?” Hyunjae had only intended to wipe your tears away with the pads of his hands, perhaps whisper something along the lines of him being here for you for the night (and the rest of his life, let’s be honest), yet your first words were—no, he had to have been hallucinating.

Your hands trembled as they reached for his wrist, and although you were severely broken, the grip your fingers created was firm.

“Please.”

Like a moth to a flame, Hyunjae admired how pretty you looked, your lips plump and eyes wide, and he wanted nothing more than to take you into his backseat and treat you the way he’d always wanted to, especially after hearing your pleas, but he knew better. You both knew better. 

“What exactly are you implying?” he asked, feeling like you had just inhaled all his oxygen and left him breathless. 

You released his wrist and opted to hold onto his sleeve, tugging on it as you tried to get him to understand you.

“I want it to hurt, Jaehyun.”

Your tears were gone, and there was a hint of dominance in your tone that would’ve had him dropped to his knees in front of you. You were also one of the very few who resorted to calling him Jae, and now his actual name. He favored Hyunjae, but after hearing ‘Jaehyun’ from your lips, his preference had completely made a turnaround. 

But Hyunjae worked to collect his thoughts, fully aware that this was wrong and he’d have to be the bigger person here. As much as he hated himself for giving up the perfect opportunity to have the girl of his dreams, he couldn’t ignore the large concern over your current mental state.

“You’re not thinking straight, Y/N,” he reasoned softly, his fingers reaching up to brush your hair out of your face, and for a second, Hyunjae swore he felt the alcohol kicking in—or perhaps it was you instead. The thought of being able to have you right now, to touch you and press his hands over your skin, to have you as his for just this night, was so intoxicating that he was seconds away from foaming at the mouth.

“I don’t need to think straight. I don’t want to think at all.”

Everything felt hotter and tighter, but he kept his composure, though with his eyes dropping to your begging lips and then your delicate fingers, he knew he was beginning to lose whatever was left of his sanity. 

But he also knew you were using him; you had to be. There was no other explanation. It was only minutes ago when you professed how you continued to feel about Jiwoong—that your heart still belonged to him, and Hyunjae was allowed nowhere near it. He was your backup, your second option, yet that happened to be better than nothing, right?

Especially when he could have you right here, right now. 

“You’re using me.”

Your expression didn’t falter.

“Then say no. Make us go back into your car and drive me home.” Your hand dropped from holding onto his sleeve but that was so you could wrap your arms around his neck, slowly bringing yourself closer to him. His cheeks were flushed as his mind flooded with possibilities of what could happen. Never had you ever wanted him, and he’d been dreaming of a moment like this for years. Your tear-stained cheeks, your pouty red lips—he wanted all of you.

“But you won’t,” you whispered, your breath hitting his skin. Your eyes landed on his lips, now craving him as much as he craved you. You needed a release, an outlet, to justify Jiwoong being better than Hyunjae. Hyunjae was worse in every way possible, and you wanted him to prove that to you. “You’d do anything I’d say, wouldn’t you?”

“What makes you say that?” Little did you know Hyunjae was crumbling inside, completely melting as his fingers grew weak at the idea of your lips on his. His hands, although wary, traveled to your waist, feeling your curves before trailing his hands down to your hips to grip them.

“You love me, don’t you?”

His heart stuttered, all words caught up in his throat, but he knew there was no defending himself—not when he was practically drooling at every move you made; he was hyperaware of the hand playing with the hair on his nape, the way your lips nearly hovered over his, and how your tears glistened under the moonlight.

His entire existence was confirmation of your words, and you knew it.

“You’d do anything for me, Jae. What’s stopping you now?”

There was a stillness as you two stared at one another. He swallowed and pulled slightly back.

He knew better.

“You don’t want me.” He was brokenhearted, a part of him understanding that you’d never be his, yet he wanted you in so many ways, wishing to have your mewls fill his ears and the smell of sex staining his clothes. The bulge in his pants was forming and pressing up against the tight confinement, making him groan. 

He dropped his head downwards, his forehead leaning to rest against yours, as he closed his eyes and did his best to regulate his breathing—repeating in his head and out loud, again.

He knew better.

“You’re using me.”

You both knew better.

Yet with your lips ghosting his and your eyes half-hooded, you were prepared to give into the dark side.

“And I say take advantage of it.”

Hyunjae dived and pressed his lips onto yours, hunger driving his every movement. There was no stopping when he felt your lips curling up into a grin, his hands shifting to wrap around your torso to drag you closer. His heart burst at how perfectly his lips molded with yours, and it seemed as if there was fire shooting up into the sky and exploding—they weren’t fireworks, and the explosion was far bigger and more dangerous. It lit the entirety of the sky, the moon and stars included, into flames, a desire unlike any other.

Your left hand pressed firm against the back of his neck while the other traveled through his hair. Meanwhile, his hands had snuck beneath your shirt and felt for your lower back. Heavy breaths left the two of you as desperation crept through your veins, dictating your every movement. 

The cold touch from his hands ignited your nervous system, every sense activated and overstimulated by Hyunjae as you released a breathy moan into his mouth.

You didn’t want him, but fuck, you needed him.

When you would pull back, his lips would chase yours, and you two fell into an endless cycle. He couldn’t even fathom how you were pulling away for air when you were his oxygen. Maybe you weren’t oxygen itself, but the fumes you emitted had already replaced his need for air, deluding him into believing that you were what he needed to stay alive.

You were suffocating, toxic, and destructive, and he wanted more. 

After retracting from the kiss for the nth time, you turned your head to hold Hyunjae back from continuing. You both were panting, your cunt soaking, and he stared into your eyes like a puppy awaiting their next direction.

“Good boy,” you praised, and he laughed lowly and sheepishly, dropping his head as he processed what happened and the idea of it being potentially over. 

“You’re lethal,” he breathed out.

“And you’re pitiful,” you spat. There was a playful grin on your lips, but those words ignited something within Hyunjae. He raised his head and cocked a brow at you, questioning your genuinity. 

Just minutes ago you were crying over a guy that treated you terribly, and yet here you thought you had the authority to call him weak.

Perhaps he was; he was falling deeper into your pitless trap, enticed with every movement of yours, but he knew for a fact you weren’t any better than him.

You both were sick in the head for falling for people that treated the other like shit, yet your drive, your fuel, to win over the hearts of the people you loved was so strong, and it made you two unstoppable. 

Hyunjae would punch Jiwoong all over again if he could. 

Without a second thought, Hyunjae ducked his head down and ruthlessly attached his lips to your neck, eliciting a gasp from you. He kissed your skin fervently, his fingers teasing the rim of your shorts, and your hands shifted to hold onto his shoulders for support. You found yourself tossing your head back, providing him more room to do as he pleased, that if Jiwoong were to see you with marks on your neck, then maybe he’d want you back. 

“Bold of you to call me pitiful,” he grumbled, sucking onto your neck until a blot of purple began to form.

“But it’s true, no?”

“You’re just as bad, Y/N.” He licked a stripe up your neck and over the mark, and the sensation made you cringe, disgust itching at your skin due to being covered in his saliva, but you wanted more of it. You wanted Hyunjae to treat you like you were nothing, to treat you worse than Jiwoong ever had, so you could direct your blame over to Hyunjae instead of your unknowing boyfriend.

You turned your head and slotted your lips with his again, already addicted to how perfect they were for you. Hyunjae knew the exact way to kiss you, to keep you on your toes, as your slick pooled up in your underwear at the mere thought of Hyunjae touching you.

The kiss was eager, a fight for control, and when Hyunjae didn’t surrender, you raised your knee, forcing your thigh to brush up against his crotch.

He gasped at the sensation and pulled away, bangs hanging over his eyes as he looked down at the sight. You teased him by keeping your touches gentle, but you made sure to keep your leg moving. Nothing intrigued you more than seeing Hyunjae beg or rut against your thigh, further proof of how pathetic he was for you. You gained a sense of ego knowing that he could have any girl in the world, that he has had every girl, and yet he would always come back to you. Now that you had him, it would be harder for him to return to a life without you under him, moaning his name.

You wanted to be his downfall. 

Your nails latched onto the mesh, taking note of how easy it would be to rip the material, before pressing your thigh firmly up against his dick, making him jerk.

“You’re-...oh my god, Y/N,” he gasped, breathless. His eyes meet your devious ones, how you were basically Satan himself, and somehow, someway, he wouldn’t ask for anything different. “You’re playing a losing…a losing- game.”

“What more do I have left to lose?” There was some truth in your words as vulnerability struck you. Your leg then lowered as you regained a slight sense of reality, realizing that you were forcing Hyunjae into being your selfish source of relief. You hated Hyunjae, sure, but you knew this was the last thing he deserved—to use him when he’d been nothing but accommodating to you.

And your sick and twisted plan was that after this encounter, you’d leave him to rot.

Hyunjae didn’t deserve that at all. 

But Hyunjae was already too far gone, too intoxicated, to even consider the repercussions of how he’d end up after this. The loss of contact with his crotch was what had him picking you up from his car, the tips of his fingers digging into your thighs, as he led you to the backseat. 

Your eyes widened, your senses fully back, but you made him like this, and you were going to pay for it. Although scared for about what’s to come, the anticipation had you drooling, your lips pressing fierce kisses onto his skin while he opened the door with you in his arms.

He laid you down gently and crawled over you, keeping you trapped between his arms.

“This is what you wanted, right? For me to tear you apart until you can run back to Jiwoong and justify how poorly he treats you?” 

Your brows bunched up at his words, your legs getting antsy being under him. There was no answering him, not when Hyunjae already knew how you were going to respond.

He brought one of his hands into your shorts and made the aggravating decision to slide his fingers over your underwear, depriving you of contact with his fingers.

Yet even with your underwear being a divider, he found your clit with ease and immediately started rubbing circles into the bud, making you buck your hips with a whine. The friction of the cloth was something you were unfamiliar with, and lord did it mess with you. 

“You want me to treat you how he sees you? Worthless and undeserving of respect?” He flicked your clit and kissed your jaw. “If that’s what you want, that’s exactly what my princess is going to get.”

“Fuck,” you moaned, using your hands to push onto his shoulders and force him down. The drive to ride his tongue was strong, and if he kept teasing you, you would have lost it.

“I know you inside and out, Y/N. I know you better than him, and this is how you treat me.” He sucked in a cheek but ultimately decided to comply with what you wanted. He pulled off your shorts yet left your underwear on, and his brows raised. He wasn’t sure how his fingers had missed the texture of lace, but what you were wearing was certainly lingerie.

You looked down to see why he stopped, and when you realized why he froze, heat rose to your cheeks.

“I wanted to feel pretty,” you whispered, shutting your eyes after turning your head. It was embarrassing, now that you thought about it, but Hyunjae’s heart soared, and he wanted nothing more than for you to know how ethereal you looked.

But he shoved the feeling away, allowing his frustrations to get the better half of him. 

When he pulled off your underwear, he cooed at how your essence oozed onto the material and raised the undergarment into the air, waiting for you to look.

“Did I do this?”

His mocking tone kept you from looking, but your curiosity got the best of you. You were met with the sight of a large wet, dark patch on your underwear, biting down on your lip as you looked at him with wide eyes. If you thought about it, you couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, or if there ever had been a time when you craved someone this badly. 

He tossed it to the side and his hands massaged your thighs, keeping them spread open so he got a proper view of your core on display for him. The sight truly stunned him, reminding him that this was you he fantasized about and replicated with other girls—no one else.

“Do you normally take this long?” you rasped, tossing your head back against the seat, and Hyunjae rolled his eyes.

“I do you a favor, and this is how you treat me.”

“A favor is a stretch—”

Hyunjae plunged two fingers into your mouth, having them press firmly down against your tongue. He latched onto your jaw and pulled your head forward and up towards him, having your eyes meet his.

“Remind me, Y/N, who was begging for this?”

He dropped your head back down against the seat before you could even respond and used whatever saliva accumulated in your mouth as temporary lube, figuring that your slick would help him with stretching you out. You grunted at the impact, feeling helpless, as Hyunjae finally inserted his fingers inside of you. 

Hyunjae’s fingers were enough to have your eyes rolling, but it was the ring that he wore that stimulated you the most. You weren’t aware that he was even wearing one, yet the cold band against your raging wet heat made you whimper and desperately grasp for his hair.

“Jaehyun, please,” you begged. 

He chuckled and kept his movements slow, forcing you to fuck yourself onto his fingers weakly. When you did, he was in awe at how stunning you looked, how you seemed to be in your own world, and how you were enjoying him. By curling his fingers, a moan was pulled from your throat, making your eyes open as you looked at him. You continued to pool around his fingers, your voice weakly begging for so much more than his fingers and the cold air that brushed against your skin. 

Never had you felt more vulnerable, but Hyunjae never once made you feel like you were doing something wrong, making you cling desperately to him. You forced his face down into your crotch and jerked at the feeling of his nose brushing up against your clit.

“Shameless, aren’t you?” he commented, laughing lowly, but you were too out of it to care. 

“Shut the-...F-fuck, oh my god.”

Your whines had gotten more incessant the more useless he became, his fingers now completely stilled inside of you as he watched you roll your hips with a cheeky grin. He wanted to drag this out for as long as possible, knowing fully well that he could last all night. 

When he took out his fingers, you were yanked out of your bliss and nearly begged for him to put them back in, but before you could get a word out, he had replaced his digits with his tongue. Your slick was dripping onto his lips, and as he dragged his wet muscle up and down your folds, he made sure to collect a small puddle of you onto his tongue to eventually swallow, wanting to savor you. 

“Oh-...Oh my god, Jae—” Your orgasm was approaching, unsure of how it was here so soon, but you recognized the signs from the coil in your chest tightening to losing every sensation to the man beneath you. You rocked your hips continuously onto his tongue, and his thumb attached to your clit, making you see stars with how rapid his movements were. 

He pulled his face back and forced his fingers back into you, and the final curl was what made you reach your peak, your hips in the air as you cried out his name. 

As you came down from your high, you caught a glance of the way Hyunjae was looking at you; to him, you were otherworldly, and it was a sight he’d never forget. He wondered if Jiwoong ever saw you like this, if he ever made you feel this way, and suddenly his admiration had soured and contoured to something of darkness, rid of any empathy as he now looked at you with some form of disgust. 

“All this for me, and you still have the fucking audacity to choose him.” 

The mention of Jiwoong had your eyes wide open, tears reappearing at the mention and while being in your most vulnerable state. Your legs shook from the aftermath, feeling too weak to continue, yet Hyunjae seemed to have other plans.

Instead of shoving his fingers back into either of your mouths, he hovered over you and made sure you saw the way he dragged his fingers around your abdomen, drawing aimlessly over your skin with your essence before dragging a hand up to your breasts, massaging one of them as his other hand rested by your waist.

“Tell me, Y/N, did you buy this for him and never got to use it? That’s why you’re wearing it now with me? Am I your sloppy seconds?”

There was a slight growl under his tone, and while you shook your head subconsciously, he worked to remove your shirt, wanting a better look at your bra, before being met with a necklace you had been hiding; one with Jiwoong’s name.

And Hyunjae took no time breaking it from your neck.

Your jaw dropped, and you snapped out of your daze by sitting straight up, yet as you were about to yell at him for breaking your necklace, he shoved three fingers back into your pussy, shutting you up by having you moan at the intrusion. 

“It looked cheap, anyway,” he muttered, forcing his mouth against yours momentarily to nip on your lower lip, tugging on it so your focus remained on him. 

“That was—he’s mine,” you forced out, gasping at every thrust he made with his fingers, your sweet spot being abused as your hands latched onto his shoulders. You made sure your nails dug into his skin, wanting it to hurt, before pulling onto the mesh, wishing for it to tear. 

“He’s not yours, princess. Tell me, how can you say that when his dick has been up other girls?” With his free hand, he grabbed your face and made sure you were staring straight at him before shoving it to the side. 

“You need to fucking wake up and realize that you can dream all you want about how he’d react if he saw you hopping on my dick, but guess what? He wouldn’t care.” Hyunjae pulled out his fingers and left you alone in the backseat. 

You sat there, a wreck and vulnerable, as you tried to catch your breath. You lay back on your forearms, curious eyes following his every movement.

“There’s a reason he hasn’t left you yet,” Hyunjae explained, opening the front door to his car to grab a condom and his phone. He tucked both into his back pocket before returning to you, bringing your lips to his before continuing to talk within the kiss.

“He’s stringing you along so you can boost his ego. He knows you will always be there for him, and you allow him to use you like that?” 

You wrapped your fingers around Hyunjae’s neck, squeezing it before pushing it away to keep your distance, your frustration starting to grow.

“I’m beginning to think you’re all bark and no bite, Jaehyun,” you muttered, and with whatever strength you had left, you pushed him against the seat and got into his lap. Without hesitation, you started rocking your hips over his clothed dick, hoping your slick would seep in so he could feel you.

He hissed but allowed you to do as you pleased, his grip tight on your hips.

“I-...I think…if you asked me, you’re the one who’s projecting. I’m the one in a relationship, and you’re just a side piece.”

The speed of your hips increased, and Hyunjae felt ecstasy on the tip of his tongue, the confinements of his pants physically paining him the more you continued.

“You’re jealous, Jae. Just admit it.”

You pulled at his hair, loving the absolute control you had over him at that moment, but in one languid motion, Hyunjae managed to push you back down, this time with your stomach against the seats. You could feel your bodily fluids sticking to the nylon, and with how hard Hyunjae was pressing down into you, you were barely given a chance to move. 

With one hand on your lower back, he kept you still as he took out both his phone and condom, making sure to place both on top of your bare skin.

“What’s there to be jealous of when you’re here under me? You want to be fucked stupid? Fine. Don’t fucking complain when you want me to be the villain.” You lurched at his words, refusing to let him win, but you were completely unable to do much damage as Hyunjae kicked off his pants and boxers while still keeping his weight on you.

He then picked up his phone and pulled up the camera, making sure to take a photo of you in his car before clicking record and tossing the phone onto the ground, hoping it was close enough to pick up on your sweet noises. 

“Make sure to be loud for me, yeah? I’m sure Jiwoong would love it if I sent that video to him.”

“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you bit back, your hand reaching out in an attempt to grab the device, but Hyunjae was quicker to grab your wrist, pinning it behind your back. 

“I wouldn’t because I know how to appreciate what’s mine.” Hyunjae released his hold on you to roll on the condom, giving you the opportunity to move and take his phone as you pleased. To your dismay, there was no more effort left within you, only an ache to feel Hyunjae inside you. 

“He appreciates me,” you mumbled, trying to convince yourself otherwise as you waited.

“Does he record you? Jerk off to your moans every night? Because I would, Y/N, just for you.” His voice was now by your ear, and when you turned your head to look at him, he pulled you into another hungry kiss, his dick now grazing against your hole. 

“You’re fucking insane,” you bit back into the kiss, and he grinned against your lips, guiding his dick into you as he spoke.

“Psychotic, just for my princess.”

Venom laced his voice, dripping menacingly, and the insertion of his tip had you grasping for something in front of you, anything, and it was only then that you were able to process how thick his cock was.

“Can you take it?” he asked, his voice slightly softer than before. When you gave him a curt nod, he continued pushing in further. Maybe lube should’ve been an option, but you were so wet for him that it didn’t matter, knowing that the stretch probably would have hurt regardless. 

“Fuck, fuck—he really doesn’t know what he’s missing,” Hyunjae gasped, his head resting against the back of yours. It was better than anything he’d dreamed of, better than any girl he imagined, because it was you, and your body was made for him.

“When was the last time he fucked you?” He was fully inside of you now, and when you didn’t answer, he decided to take it as a sign to move. With a firm grip on your waist, he pulled out just to slam back in, making you yell as you clawed at the seat, wishing there was something to bite on as you endured the pain that was quick to morph into pleasure. 

Every glide pushed you further into the car, your forearms occasionally hitting the door, as his hips moved vigorously, working up to a pace that had you moaning without pause. Tears were flowing down your cheeks at the overwhelming pleasure of being manhandled—of being Hyunjae’s rag doll when he was meant to be yours, and your body seized up, being worked up to your orgasm once more with how precise each thrust seemed to be. 

He adjusted to raise one of your legs to his hip, giving him a new angle to pound into you as he worships you with his dick, and you shook out of pleasure, whining as you saw white and reached your second orgasm for the night. You pulsated around his cock, strangled moans ripping from your throat as tears mixed with your drool by your chin.

And Hyunjae showed no signs of stopping.

He made sure to press your face down against the seats, wanting every liquid to fall and stain his car, giving him something to remember you by.

Oh, and there was the recording too.

While kneeling inside of the cramped car, he slowed his movements and inclined his torso towards you. In one swift motion, he wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled you up, locking you inside his elbow as he forced you to look into your reflection in the car window.

“Look at you, the school’s favorite slut. What happens if the recording drops? The whole school would know you’re mine, wouldn’t they?” He pressed his chest against your back, the mesh rubbing against your skin as his lips remained near your ear, forcing you to listen to every word.

You limped against him, your flames completely burnt out, and your fingers tugged onto the mesh around his arm, successfully ripping it after some time, but Hyunjae seemed unphased. In fact, it turned him on even more knowing that he had you locked in, that you were his.

“Look at your pretty cunt taking me in so well. It was so wet for me, wasn’t it? It still is. And guess what? You’re in my car. You belong to me, and my good girl is only now just finding out about it, isn’t she?” 

“I-I’m…I’m not-...not yours,” you retaliated, creating red angry marks into his skin with your nails as you endured being used, stifling your moans as you looked at how wrecked you were, how bare you seemed to be compared to Hyunjae. You were much more of a mess, from your hair to the bruises on your neck. Your pussy kept tightening up around his dick, convulsing occasionally with every hit toward your g-spot, and you held onto Hyunjae each time. 

Your head drooped down, thinking about how your heart ached for Jiwoong, yet the rest of your body was meant for Hyunjae.

“Whose fucking dick is inside of you right now?” He scoffed and pulled on your hair, forcing your head back up so he could directly speak into your ear. “Wake up, Y/N,” he demanded. “You’re mine.”

He dropped you back onto the seat like you were nothing, leaving you completely helpless, your throat void of any words as your eyes closed and met the back of your skull, too fucked out to communicate. You tried reaching for the door handle, just something to hold onto, yet you couldn’t.

“You tell me I’m pitiful, that I’m basically delusional when you’re going to be the reason my car will smell like sex for weeks.”

Your face was forced back into the puddle of liquid you created earlier, being shifted back and forth against the seat as if you were made for his dick and not vice versa.

“It’s crazy how pathetic you are, how willing you are to break yourself down in front of everyone just to have him. That-...fuck…that you’re so convinced he wants you and you two are soulmates.” He dragged his fingers through your hair and grabbed your roots. “You called me, you wanted me, and I have you right now, moaning my name, and you have nothing.”

Something about his words kept bringing out your orgasms, each thrust adding to the pleasure immensely. You didn’t know how much you could handle—afraid you may pass out from how much he was using you, from his tight grip around you to his dick hitting inside of you mercilessly.

Hyunjae whispering ‘I won, Y/N’ was what had you losing it, your high this time ending up stronger than the rest. You were fully crying now, and yet he continued as if you were nothing.

He peppered your shoulder with kisses and had the slight decency to slow his pace, but he also took note of your sobs.

“Don’t tell me you still want him,” he began rambling, his lips still on your shoulder. “Don’t tell me after this that your heart still belongs to him, because if that were the case, I’d make you call him right now. Say you wish it was him instead of me, and that he’s the love of your life while you’re stuffed with my dick. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You could no longer think, and what you hated most was how reactive your body was—how you were just able to come for the third time, but Hyunjae’s dick solely being inside you snapped some other straw you weren’t aware you had, finding that your last high was incoming. 

Hyunjae had picked up the pace by then, and by knowing your body incredibly well, he reached down to your sensitive clit to relieve you. You both knew your fourth was arriving, and you held on tight to his arm.

“J-Jaehy- hyun, I’m—”

“Mine.”

You cried out, your entire body shaking, and Hyunjae pulled out, immediately releasing onto your back with a guttural moan after yanking off the condom. He was forced to catch his breath, watching you float in and out of consciousness.

Your eyes were closed, struggling to breathe through your sobs, and Hyunjae consoled you with a kiss on the back of your shoulder. 

“You’re mine, Y/N, whether you like it or not.”

He then pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaving to grab paper towels from his trunk. You were heaving, still shaking, and left alone as a mess in his backseat, yet with him gone, you felt even more useless, wanting him back by your side instantly. You weakly cried out for him, your nails dragging against the seat in hopes of being in his arms soon, and maybe he was right.

Maybe you were his.

OUR INFERNO [ M.LIST | TWO ]

NAVIGATION — THE BOYZ

© https://hcuyk.tumblr.com/

[stealanity]

playlist one , the boyz ( cch to src ) :

⠀

ꕤ choi chanhee ,

the so-called boyfriend ( smau , hiatus )

better

yarrow

cry for me

strawberry flavor

⠀

[ 8:42pm ]

[ 10:42pm ]

[ 11:12pm ]

[ 5:25am ]

⠀

ꕤ ji changmin ,

you did well

lying eyes

first love

dream of you

dream of you ( part two )

⠀

[ 10:32pm ]

[ 2:24am ]

[ 6:17am ]

[ 6:14pm ]

⠀

ꕤ ju haknyeon ,

our secret little date

⠀

[ 12:24pm ]

[ 8:23pm ]

[ 9:36pm ]

⠀

ꕤ kim sunwoo ,

color palette ( smau , finished )

game over ( ft. eric , written serie , discontinued )

you're save

late night kiss

a to z being your boyfriend

old toy

new toy

ghost train

just friends

easier

unashamedly

⠀

[ 3:47am ]

[ 3:45am ]

[ 9:45pm ]

[ 6:38pm ]

[ 11:57pm ]

[ 11:25pm ]

⠀

ꕤ sohn eric ,

endless race ( smau , finished )

game over ( ft. sunwoo , written serie , discontinued )

age of love

broken night

never be you

roulette to your heart

because of you

black hair & red lipstick

all over

one bed

birthday present(s)

⠀

[ 3:22pm ]

[ 2:56pm ]

[ 2:24pm ]

[ 2:04am ]

⠀

ꕤ ot-eleven ,

sorry, for breaking your heart ( written serie , hiatus )

kiss or kill? ( one shot )

the boyz as the vamps' songs

october 19 : international kiss your crush day

kiss their s/o for the first time

their s/o asking them for one last kiss

their s/o having a habit of sitting on their lap

their s/o being drunk

their s/o cutting their hair short

their s/o holding hands when they're anxious / clingy

their crush not being touchy

always having an extra scrunchie for their s/o

watching a horror movie with their s/o

sharing a bed with their s/o for the first time

accidently outing their relationship on vlive

⠀

. . . link to hyung line !