#esp digital it s kind of like an investment
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cosplaying is healing me personally (killing my wallet, also)
#mmmmni love having expensive hobbies HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAAJHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYAA#Tbh for most of my life all i did was draw so like#i get surprised when shit costs stuff#w drawing#esp digital it s kind of like an investment#where u buy one device then after that have fun go crazy#w cosplay it's like . paying up Per character and Per accessory which is Yay#amazing even#and then i picked up cooking#it's consumable so obviously . youd have to buy shit all the time#im just very . i forgot the word. cautious about my money and end up spending it on dumb shit anyway#i am a hoarder at heart#but also deeper inside said heart is just a monkey brain that smiles when yellow color sad when blue color etc#simple minded activities of a person trying to feel something after being numb for a long time#also trying new hobbies because i fear the passion i had for drawing has been spent#i still do it because its what i do best and itd be a waste#but like yeah i kind of hate it sometimes#its cool when it turns out nice then a few hrs later i dont wanna look at it ever againnnnnnnnn#truthfully#i want to restart my brain#maybe itll do better on its 2nd try
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