nostarfights

[nostarfights]

Bucky Barnes during Airport Battle Captain America: Civil War 2016 | dir. Anthony Russo, Joe Russo

[nostarfights]

Taking Care of You

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X fem!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky take care of each other’s wounds after getting back from a mission.

Warnings: Mentions of blood, cuts, bruises, stitches, kissing, established relationship, non-sexual nudity and some tension.

Word Count: 2K

a/n: this is based on a steve harrington oneshot i wrote a couple years ago, i hope y’all like this!

the photos below do not belong to me

You silently stood next to Bucky in the bathroom connected to your room as he turned on the lights and you started to get a good look at the injuries you’d acquired during today’s mission.

There were streaks of dried blood on your face and neck, bruises and cuts all over your body and dirt was caked into your hair. You’d never gotten used to having to live with cuts and bruises all over your body until recently, you’d come to accept that this was part of the job and now part of your life, no matter how much it annoyed you.

As for Bucky, he was in slightly worse shape. Aside from the cuts, bruises and bits of dirt that were littered across his own body, you immediately noticed the blood seeping through the right side of his shirt, causing your heart to pound. He’d been stabbed during the mission and didn’t tell you. Unfortunately for him, you always noticed every single injury he got, no matter how big or small they were. 

You took a few steps toward him and slowly lifted his shirt up, trying to get a better look at his stab wound, “What happened?” you asked as you furrowed your eyebrows, a concerned tone to your voice. “I looked over at you for a split second to make sure you were okay and one of the punks we were fighting used that chance to stab me. But it’s not that bad, I swear, I just didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry.” Bucky explained as an ashamed look took over his face, feeling bad for being the reason he knew you were now worried about him. 

You sighed at his explanation, he’d done this before a few times after previous missions. You just wished that he’d tell you about his injuries, even if they made you worry. “Let me take care of you?” you asked as you looked into his eyes, knowing he preferred to clean himself and his wounds sometimes rather than letting you do it. “Yes, but only if you let me return the favor.” he answered, causing a smile to roll out across your lips. “Deal.” you replied.

You then grabbed your first aid kit from its spot on the counter and retrieved an unused needle, thread, gauze, alcohol wipes and a bandage roll, prompting Bucky to take his shirt off and throw it on the floor; he’d deal with it later.

Once his stab wound was on full display, your heart dropped while you took the gauze out of its packaging and pressed it to the area. In reality, you knew that the wound looked worse than it actually was but you just couldn’t get rid of that sinking feeling. 

And after he stopped bleeding a few minutes later, you took the alcohol wipe out, “You ready?” you asked Bucky, the wipe centimeters away from his side, earning a nod of his head in response.

While you gently began to clean the wound seconds later, Bucky hissed through his teeth at the burning feeling and squeezed his eyes shut, “Sorry.” you quietly said as you looked up at him. “It’s okay, sweetheart, just keep going.” he replied, clearly wanting to get this over with as soon as possible.

What you had to do next hurt you the most because even with the super soldier serum coursing through Bucky’s veins speeding up the healing process for him, you were still going to have to give him stitches.

Bucky noticed your hesitation right away, he always noticed the smallest changes in you right away, “I’ll be okay, doll.” he reassured you as he briefly stroked your cheek with his thumb, encouraging you to keep treating his wound.

So, you slowly stitched him up, sadly watching as the needle entered and exited your lover's skin and he tried to ignore the pain yet again. You hated seeing him in pain, no matter how minor or serious the injury was. It broke your heart to see him like this.

But now that that was finally over with, Bucky placed his fingers on the bottom of your shirt and looked into your eyes, “Can I?” he asked. “Yeah, go ahead.” you answered, prompting him to lift the fabric over your head and throw it onto the floor with his own shirt. He then unbuttoned your pants and slid them down your legs, stepping out of them once they were around your ankles.

Not a word was spoken between the two of you while more of your bruised skin became visible to Bucky as you removed your underwear and bra, making his own heart drop. But even so, he kept this to himself as you started to gently undress him. You took off his pants first then his arm, putting it in a safe spot on the bathroom counter behind you while he took off the boxers he’d been wearing. 

You left your clothes in a pile on the floor, another thing you’d decided to deal with later as Bucky turned the shower on to a temperature he knew you would approve of. You stepped in first, holding onto Bucky’s hand for balance as you got in and once you were standing under the stream of the shower head, Bucky stepped in as well.

Letting Bucky return the favor, the moment your hair and body became fully wet, he grabbed the loofah you kept in the shower, squeezed some body wash onto it and started to gingerly clean your skin.

The sight of blood and dirt being washed off of your body with the help of the water and soap and going into the drain broke Bucky’s heart, he hated seeing you like this, he hated seeing that you were hurt. And while getting hurt was a normal part of this job that didn’t mean it hurt Bucky any less to see you injured. 

In this moment you were feeling quite similarly while you started to think about everything that had happened today and when the thought of Bucky’s stab wound reappeared in your head, that sinking feeling in you that had just started to go away suddenly took over any other emotion again.

Seeing Bucky injured was one of the worst things in the entire world to you, it broke your heart, but nevertheless you didn’t want him hiding wounds from you so that you wouldn’t worry about him. You would always worry about him because you loved him.

“Penny for your thoughts?” you asked Bucky, your eyes closed while he started to run shampoo through your hair, freeing any remaining small bits of dirt and dust that had still been stuck in it. He took a deep breath then started to speak, “I’m just glad you’re okay. I was so in my head and worried about you getting hurt, that’s why I kept checking to make sure you were okay. You’ve given me something to lose and that terrifies me.” he admitted while he helped you rinse the shampoo out of your now clean hair, also helping you notice that it was sometimes easier for him to be more vulnerable with you if your eyes were closed. 

“I understand, Buck. Every time we get on the quinjet,” you began as your breath hitched in your throat, “I worry that it’ll be the last time I’ll ever see you.” you explained as you opened your eyes. Hearing this made Bucky’s eyes tear up almost instantly, “Nothing is ever going to take me away from you, doll, I promise.” he assured you while he wrapped his arm around you. “I’ll be by your side forever, pretty boy. You’re stuck with me.” you replied as you hugged him back, pressing a light kiss to his left shoulder as you left each other’s arms moments later, making a promise of your own while Bucky smiled at your joke.

And the second your conditioner had been rinsed out of your hair and you were clean, it was now your turn to take care of Bucky again. Your touch was gentle as you got more soap on your loofah and you started to clean Bucky’s tired body.

You adored being the only person able to see him this way, he was so handsome, so beautiful even when he was covered in dirt. And as the blood and dirt disappeared from his skin, your worries and that sinking feeling began to disappear as well. For good this time. “Bucky’s home safe, you don’t have to worry anymore.” you reminded yourself.

Immediately after you finished cleaning Bucky’s body, you then grabbed his shampoo, squeezed some of the product in your hands and began to massage it into his roots and scalp. Bucky hummed at the feeling, he loved it when you washed his hair for him, the feeling alone always caused his muscles to relax. 

Being able to touch him also soothed your worries, it reminded you that he was still here, that he was real. “I love you so much, doll.” he muttered, making you smile as you continued to massage his scalp while the water removed the shampoo from his dark shoulder length hair. “I love you too, Buck, so so much.” you replied, still softly smiling.

Once you were both completely clean, you got out of the shower first this time, handed Bucky his arm and started to dry yourself off with your towel until he stopped you. “Let me do it, baby.” he offered, making you blush. “Okay.” you quietly agreed as you handed him your towel and water dripped off of his own naked body and onto the bath mat below him. 

His movements were gentle and slow as he dried your skin and hair, making your whole body break out in goosebumps. It was in moments like these where you couldn’t believe he was yours. Bucky, a man who looked like a Greek god, was on his knees without hesitation to dry you off, something that never failed to make your whole body feel as if it was on fire every time he did it.

As soon as Bucky had gotten your entire body dry and you wrapped yourself up in your towel, you’d attempted to dry him off but he beat you to it so you grabbed the bandage roll you had left on the counter and wrapped it around his waist until the stitches on his right side were sufficiently covered instead, pressing a kiss to the area once they were.

“Thank you, doll.” he said, his cheeks blushing as his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “No problem, handsome.” you said with a wink as Bucky wrapped his towel around himself, trying to hide the way you had caused his cheeks to go from a light pink to a bright red. He’d get back at you for this another time.

He then intertwined his fingers with your own and led you back to your shared room, turning the bathroom light off on the way out, where the two of you picked out your pajamas for the night. You picked out one of Bucky’s shirts and a pair of shorts while he picked out a pair of black boxers.

You dressed in comfortable silence then proceeded to scoop up your towels and dirty clothes and put them in the laundry bin in the corner of the room before he got the chance to, causing him to softly smile to himself while he got into bed. 

And when you turned around just seconds later, you found Bucky already under the covers, the only light in your room coming from the lamp on your bedside table, and he patted the spot next to him, beckoning you to join him.

Upon getting into bed with him, he immediately wrapped both of his arms around your waist and tugged you closer to him so that your body was pressed against his, causing those pesky goosebumps to appear again.

“I love you, sweetheart.” Bucky muttered against your warm skin as you turned off the lamp. “I love you more, Bucky.” you replied as you laid all the way down, Bucky’s comforting scent filling your nose as you soon drifted off to sleep.

NAVIGATION

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[nostarfights]

Sebastian Stan as Winter Soldier // Favourite scenes Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

[nostarfights]

I Would Do It Again

Pairing: king!Bucky Barnes X lady-in-waiting!Reader

Summary: After the King and Queen of your kingdom pass away and their son Prince Bucky Barnes is made King, he begins to become more aware of his loneliness.

Warnings: Royalty au, forbidden love, mutual pining, yearning, mentions of arranged marriage, loss of family members, Bucky’s parents being verbally abusive, classism and a planned murder, kissing, violence, Bucky standing up for and protecting the reader, a few uses of y/n and y/L/n, dialogue is mostly modern English with a few old English elements mixed in.

Word Count: 5.7K

a/n: for the purpose of this oneshot, the reader is a servant who became a lady-in-waiting not a hired one.

the gif below does not belong to me

The past month since Bucky’s parents passed away and he’d become King had been a blur. Even as he got used to his duties as King, he had to admit, he’d become tired of how lonely and repetitive his life had been. He did the same thing day after day, week after week and with the men on his court persistently proposing arranged marriage, all he wanted was to be left alone in the company of someone who wasn’t being forced to marry him. 

Prior to their passing, Bucky’s parents had once been the reason he was always alone; they hadn’t even allowed him to leave the castle or have his own servants. But now that he was King, things were going to change. 

As a way of achieving this goal, Bucky had decided to announce an idea he came up with the night before to his court during one dreary morning. He quietly cleared his throat to grab their attention as he sat in his chair at the head of the table, causing eight pairs of eyes to almost instantly land on him.

“As you all know, I have been a bachelor for quite some time and now that I am King it is time for this period of my life to end. I have decided to select a companion for myself until I marry.” Bucky said, earning a few nods in agreement and not much else from the men in his court since it was unnecessary to discuss his love life more than this when there were much more important topics at hand. 

Their wordless agreement encouraged Bucky to select who exactly was going to be his companion, something he did in his head whilst the men sitting at the table began to discuss matters of a possible impending war and the foreign dignitaries that would be arriving today to speak with Bucky.

There weren’t many women he knew that he could select from now that his mother had died then the idea of you, the young woman who had been one of his mother’s ladies-in-waiting, becoming his companion popped into his head. You were beautiful, kind, soft, delicate and someone he wouldn’t mind having around and if his mother trusted you then so would he. But he made sure to vow to himself that he wouldn’t fall in love with you, you would simply just be someone to spend his time with.

And once the meeting had come to an end just thirty minutes later, Bucky quickly began to start speaking as the men in his court started to get up from their chairs, “I have selected a companion, Lady (y/Ln), one of my mother’s former ladies-in-waiting.” he announced, earning a few eyebrow raises from the men in the room. “But Sir, she is a servant, she is below you. At least pick someone more respectable.” Bucky’s Chief Advisor, Antony, commented, which prompted a bit of anger to arise in Bucky. “Do not question my decisions, I have made up my mind. That is final.” Bucky sternly replied and that was the end of it. The men surrounding him then became silent as they waited for him to leave the room, thinking he’d get bored of you eventually and give into the idea of an arranged marriage soon enough. 

Following this meeting, Bucky immediately went to one of the guards outside of the room, “You,” he began as he walked directly up to this guard, “Go find Lady (y/L/n) and tell her to meet me in the throne room right away.” he instructed, instantly eliciting a response from the guard. “Yes, Your Highness.” the guard replied as he bowed his head then proceeded to walk away to find you. 

—----------------------------------------------------

Your heart basically pounded out of your chest as you walked up to the doors of the throne room, extremely nervous to see why the King had wanted to speak to you alone when he had never spoken to you personally the entire time you had worked in the castle. “Have I done something wrong? Am I to be punished?” you wondered as you stopped at the doors and the guards let you enter, not giving you time to weigh out any possibilities in your head. 

Bucky’s breath hitched in his throat as you entered the room, you were ethereal, even in the simple dress you were wearing, it was as if you had become more beautiful since the last time he had seen you. The longer he stared at you, the more he felt himself falling in love with you in this moment, his rule to not let himself feel this way for you going out the window. And as soon as the guards closed the doors behind you, you walked up to the throne Bucky was sat upon and curtsied, “Your Highness.” you said as you began to stand straight again, discontinuing his thoughts. 

“From this day forward, you are to be my companion. You will accompany me to meetings, meals, training as well as my other daily activities. You will also spend time with me in my quarters in the morning before I tend to my duties and at night after dinner. You are to start this evening at dinner.” he explained, resulting in your worries going away now that you knew that you weren’t going to be punished. “Yes, Your Highness.” you replied as Bucky then dismissed you to attend to your responsibilities in the castle.

As you left the room, that lonely feeling that had long buried itself in Bucky’s heart began to slowly disappear now that he knew that you would always be by his side. And although he’d never been one for love or marriage due to the lack of love his parents had shown him, he found himself looking forward to seeing you again, causing him to feel like a fool for falling in love with you so quickly. 

—----------------------------------------------------

Hours had passed since you had spoken with Bucky that morning and he had informed you of his decision to make you his companion while you entered the Great Hall where you were to accompany Bucky as he ate, finding it empty except for the two guards who stood outside. Awaiting his arrival, you quickly walked over to where you remembered Bucky’s father used to sit and stood behind the chair next to it, not wanting to risk not being in the proper spot before Bucky got there. 

In good timing, once you had gotten comfortable where you were standing, Bucky entered the room wearing a black long sleeve shirt and a pair of loose pants, an outfit a lot less formal compared to what you were used to seeing him wear. Seeing him like this made him seem less intimidating and in a way you longed for him, you longed to kiss him and stroke his cheek with your thumb, something you would have been allowed to do in a private situation like this if you were also royalty. And in this moment, you cursed yourself for feeling like this and began to ignore your thoughts before you got too ahead of yourself. 

“Your Highness.” you greeted as you curtsied with a calm look on your face that you hoped didn’t reveal what you were feeling. Bucky barely acknowledged you at first as he crossed the room to his chair, something he was doing to secretly punish himself for falling in love with you, and a deafening silence took over. “Sit.” he plainly said as he pointed to the chair that was next to his and looked into your eyes, causing your heart to pound once more. “Yes, Your Grace.” you replied as you sat down next to him, resting your hands in your lap. 

The two of you sat in silence before Bucky finally spoke up after a few minutes, “How was your day, (y/n)?” he asked as he peered over at you, fork in hand. You were shocked in this moment, shocked to hear that a King of all people wanted to hear about how your day had gone. “Good, Your Grace.” you answered as you briefly looked into his eyes, their beauty causing you to quickly look away. You wanted to stare at them forever and that made you feel ashamed, it didn’t feel right to you to have these feelings for a man you worked for. 

“You needn't be so proper, I want you to be comfortable around me. So from now on you may call me Bucky.” he told you, creating a shocked feeling in you yet again. “Are you sure, Your Grace-I mean, Bucky? This doesn’t seem appropriate.” you asked him as you bravely looked into his eyes again, you’d never been allowed to call anyone above you by their first name before. “Yes, I am sure.” he replied, encouraging you to not question him again while the two of you continued to talk. 

But even with formalities out of the way, you still felt shy about being around Bucky and not having to be proper like you were so used to being. “You shall adjust soon.” you thought as Bucky began to tell you about his own day. 

—----------------------------------------------------

Upon finishing his meal, you followed Bucky back to his quarters, the entire five minute walk spent in silence as you trailed behind him. When the two of you arrived, you began to feel shocked once again. This time at the size of the room and how kind Bucky had been to you tonight, after all you had been used to tiny bedrooms and being treated horrible your entire life. The mere idea of suddenly being treated better simply because you were the King’s companion was a peculiar feeling to you. 

But now was not the time to get lost in your thoughts as you followed him out to the balcony attached to his quarters. “Sit, I wish to watch the sunset with you.” he requested as he lowered himself into the chair next to you. “As you wish.” you quietly replied with a slight bow of your head while you sat down. 

As for the rest of the evening, the two of you sat together in silence once more, this time a more comfortable one whilst the sky became a beautiful orange and the moon reclaimed its spot in the sky. The longer you sat there together, Bucky found himself being reminded of you by everything around him. From the sky to the moon, to the warm nighttime breeze that danced around your bodies. No matter what he did, he could not escape the fact that he had already fallen head over heels in love with you. 

“Goodnight, (y/n).” he abruptly said as he stood up from his chair, signaling to you that it was now time for you to go back to the servants quarters for the night. “Goodnight, Bucky.” you quietly replied, a soft smile on your face as you curtsied, accidentally forgetting how he had told you that you didn’t need to do that anymore, and left his quarters. 

And even though you had only been gone for a few moments now, Bucky still began to miss you again but once more, he started to ignore his blossoming feelings for you. You could never be together, it wouldn’t be approved of, he had to accept this. He had to wake up early in the morning anyway, he didn’t have the time to think about how badly he wanted to kiss you and call you his. 

He then dressed for bed in silence as these thoughts continued to fill his mind. You were just trying to do your job, there was no possibility of you loving him back and this too was something he had to accept. 

—----------------------------------------------------

You walked with a pep in your step the following morning as you approached the doors to Bucky’s quarters shortly after the sun had started to rise. You knew it was wrong yet in this moment you couldn’t help but feel excited to see the man you had started to fall for all too quickly. 

Your thoughts were soon interrupted by the sight of Bucky sitting in a chair by the windows in his quarters, reading, seemingly as if he had been waiting for you. “That is not possible, I am his servant. Why would he ever wait for me?” you reminded yourself as you kept walking into the room. 

“Good morning, Bucky.” you said with a curtsy, forgetting yourself once more, Bucky smiled at this. “Good morning, (y/n). There is no need to do that around me any longer.” he reminded you, making both of you smile softly. “Right, my apologies.” you replied, causing Bucky to dismiss your apology with a wave of his hand as he tried to ignore how happy seeing your smile had just made him feel. “You can never be with her.” he reminded himself. 

“I do not have much that requires my attention today. You will accompany me while I attend a court meeting, receive people in the throne room, train and tend to my garden.” he informed you as he looked into your eyes, causing goosebumps to appear on your partially exposed arms. Which Bucky had seen, the sight of this alone caused him to worry that being around him made you nervous. 

But little did he know, these goosebumps had appeared because the feeling of his eyes on you made you feel as if your body was on fire. All you wanted was for him to kiss you and touch you, in spite of how ashamed you felt. “Understood.” you simply replied as Bucky abandoned the book he had been reading and rose from his chair. 

—----------------------------------------------------

Once it was time for Bucky to train, you followed him to the one of the castle’s courtyards after he had changed into his training gear, trying your best not to stare at how big his muscles were or how gorgeous he looked. It was practically torture not being able to touch him and kiss him in this moment, you felt like a caged animal forced to watch its prey get away. 

Watching him train with one of the knights was a whole different kind of torture. From the skillful way he sparred with this knight to how his hair moved as he moved to the way he twirled his sword through the air to the way his skin glistened in the sun, you didn’t know how you would get through being his companion without eventually becoming his lover. It was all you wanted, no matter how ashamed it made you feel to have these feelings for your King. You yearned for him like a man who had been starved for days. 

But it didn’t matter how badly you wanted him, that feeling of shame soon took over any other feeling yet again. Seeing as you were a servant, you felt like you weren’t good enough for him and you never would be in your eyes. He deserved to be with a princess, not the lowly woman who used to assist his mother. You could never be together even though that’s all you wanted. You were from two different worlds. 

And just like Bucky could feel the temperature change outside, it was as if he could feel your mood change too, worrying him. “Is everything alright, (y/n)?” he asked you, hoping it was nothing and that you were simply lost in thought. “I am fine.” you said, your jaw clenched. Bucky knew right away that you were lying and that something was bothering you but unfortunately he didn’t have the time to bother you about it any further. He had to keep training but he promised himself that he’d bring it up again later. 

—----------------------------------------------------

Uncomfortable silence blanketed the two of you as you walked around the garden with Bucky and he occasionally stopped to water a few of the plants and cut any weeds he spotted. 

While these were things the castle gardener normally did, Bucky had insisted on helping out ever since he’d found a book about horticulture a few years ago while looking through his father’s library. Being here gave him peace, it gave him a place to feel normal and as he fell in love with you, it became a place he wanted to show you. He wanted it to be your favorite place to be as well.

“Why were you so quiet before?” Bucky asked as you continued to walk with him and he bent down to cut a rose out of its bush. Your heart sank at the sound of this question, you’d hoped that he wouldn’t bring this up again. “It is nothing, Bucky. I just got lost in my thoughts.” you explained, hoping that he’d take this explanation and not keep trying to get the truth out of you. “Ah, I understand. I get that way too sometimes.” he replied as he cut the thorns off of the rose in his hand, he didn’t entirely believe you but he could tell that you were done with this topic so he let it go. 

As you neared the end of your walk and you got closer to the doors that lead back into the castle, you both felt yourselves growing sad. Neither of you wanted to leave each other’s side, no matter how forbidden it felt to have such strong feelings for one another. Still, it was time for you to part until dinner. 

You then began to walk in the direction of the servants quarters until Bucky stopped you. “Wait! This is for you.” Bucky said once you had stopped walking away from him, now nervously handing you the rose he had cut for you. Your cheeks blushed as you took it from him and your fingers brushed it against his, “Thank you.” you replied as you stared at it, not having the confidence to look into his eyes at this moment. 

He then placed his index finger and thumb on your chin and gently tipped your head up so that you were making eye contact with him, causing your heart to pound while you started to get butterflies. “Will you eat dinner with me tonight?” he asked you, the tension in this moment causing you to feel as if you were floating. “Of course.” you answered as you slowly removed your face from his hand and started to walk away, trying to ignore how good his touch had felt. 

You’d heard of how flirty Bucky could be first hand from his mother but now that you’d actually experienced it, you couldn’t believe that Bucky didn’t have Princesses, Ladys and Queens from every Kingdom throwing themselves at him. “How is it possible that he seems to care for me more than any other woman? More than women who deserve to be with him more than I?” you wondered as you walked back to the servants quarters. 

—----------------------------------------------------

You were alone with Bucky for dinner in the Great Hall once again as you ate side by side that evening and talked about the random things that came to mind. In this moment, as a result of the day you’d just spent together, you both felt yourselves falling deeper in love with each other but no matter how much you wanted to give into these feelings, you still decided to ignore them. 

Bucky wanted more than anything else to be your husband, your lover but he feared how frowned upon your relationship would be so he decided to keep what he felt for you to himself forever. If he could bear to keep his feelings a secret for the rest of his life that is. But even so, he would still be kind to you and show that he cared for you. You deserved to be treated well.

Soon enough due to your busy minds, you and Bucky lost your appetites and abandoned your meals. “Follow me, I have something else to show you.” he said, causing you to nod your head in response and follow him right away.

The short walk to where Bucky was taking you in the castle saddened him. The two of you were barely speaking again while you were together, making him wish that he hadn’t held your face in his hand. It had clearly made you at least a little uncomfortable around him and he hated himself for making you feel like this. He just wanted to be someone you could trust, be comfortable around and love, even.  

This time instead of going back to his quarters after dinner, you and Bucky went to the castle’s library. “Sit,” Bucky said as he sat down in one of the chairs in the room, “I want to read to you.” he told you while he patted the chair next to him a few times. You softly smiled as you nodded your head and sat with him, making Bucky feel a little better about how he’d made you feel earlier. 

He then retrieved a book from the small end table next to him that had been oh so carefully placed earlier in the day by a servant and he began to read to you from one of favorite books, The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri. The sound of his now deeper voice as a result of all the talking he’d done today easily started to lull you to sleep the moment he’d started to read to you. It was calming to hear him speak and just an hour later after the moon rose in the sky, your eyes fluttered shut and you fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep in your chair. 

Once Bucky noticed, he began to softly smile to himself and returned the book to its spot on the table next to him. He’d put it back another time, he had to get you to a much more comfortable place to sleep, his bed, not wanting to risk waking up the other servants if he returned you to the bed you normally slept in. So he gently scooped your sleeping body up in his arms and began to walk down the hall to his quarters, his heart warming at the feeling of you snuggling into him in your unconscious state. 

And once he reached his bed, he gently placed you beneath the blankets, tucked you in and pressed a light kiss to your forehead. What you didn’t know couldn’t ruin what the two of you had, right? As for where he would sleep that night, he grabbed an extra blanket he’d stashed away for when the castle got particularly cold, his pillow and laid down on the settee in his quarters. You sleeping comfortably was far more important to him than his own sleep.

—----------------------------------------------------

It was almost the afternoon when Bucky awoke the following morning, shamelessly using the time before you woke up yourself to admire you as he sat next to you on the bed. You looked so beautiful as you slept, so calm and relaxed. But before he got too ahead of himself, Bucky’s shame stopped his admiration of you. 

Admiring you like this was what was causing him to continue to fall in love with you. But the longer he thought about his shame, his fear of what people would think if people found out he fell in love with his companion and your differences, the more he began to not care about any of those things. He loved you and that’s all that mattered, not anyone or anything else. Now all he had to wait for was the perfect time to tell you how he felt. 

Amidst his thinking, you started to wake up and soon began to feel stunned as you realized that you were in Bucky’s bed and that it was a lot later in the day than when you usually woke up. Bucky began to smile once he realized you had woken up, “Good mornin-.” he’d started to say before you interrupted him. “Why am I in your bed?” you rapidly asked as you started to get up and slip your shoes back on. “You fell asleep not long after I began to read to you last night so I brought you here and slept on the settee.” he explained as you started to stand closer to where he was sitting. 

You were appalled at this, your King let you sleep in his bed while he uncomfortably slept on a settee. “Why did you not just wake me? I would have been fine with that.” you asked him, a confused look now present on your face. He softly sighed then began to speak again, hoping you wouldn’t be angry with him, “You just looked so peaceful, I did not want to wake you.” he told you, causing your heart to skip a beat while you and Bucky both started to blush. “But you must wake me up the next time this happens. Alright?” you jokingly said as you pointed at him like you were disciplining a child, making him laugh. “Alright.” he replied, still laughing. 

But now that you knew that Bucky was so willing to sleep uncomfortably so that you could sleep comfortably, your thoughts began to shift. Maybe he really did love you? And if he did, would that really be so bad?

No.

—----------------------------------------------------

Three Weeks Later

As you and Bucky stood next to each other under the moon and stars, the feeling of not being able to touch you became unbearable to him. So as you stared up the stars, he slowly began to brush his fingers against your own and hold your hand in his. It felt so good to be able to touch you in any way but this feeling soon ended when you snatched your hand away, causing Bucky to look over at you immediately. 

“What are you doing, Bucky?” you asked him as your eyebrows furrowed. “I love you, (y/n). I have been in love with you since the day you walked into the throne room. I have been yearning for you and your touch for weeks. I cannot bear to not be yours for another moment.” he explained, causing a shocked expression to take over your face.

“But how? How could you ever love someone as low as me?” you asked him, the fact that you had been ashamed of yourself this entire time becoming more and more clear to Bucky. “I just do! You make me feel as if I deserve to be loved for once in my life!” he shouted, letting his emotions get the best of him. “But I am not worthy of you, you deserve someone better. I am not good enoug-.” you’d started to say until Bucky cut you off with a kiss, you kissed him back almost instantly as he placed one hand on your face while his other arm wrapped around your waist and brought you closer to him.

“I love you too, but I’m scared, what will people say if they find out?” you said as your eyes started to well up and a few tears fell down your face. Bucky then started to hold your face in both of his hands, “I’m sorry for yelling, my love, but remember I am their King. What I say and want goes and what I want is you.” he said as he wiped your tears away, comforting you. Hearing him say this started to ease the worries that had been running rampant in your mind for weeks and you kissed him again, feeling grateful for him and his kind words. 

But little did the two of you know, you were being watched by a guard who had seen and heard everything from the castle garden during a nighttime stroll. Seeing this was appalling to him, to see his King with someone as low as you, he needed to report this to Bucky’s Chief Advisor right away. He ran and ran across the castle until he finally discovered the Advisor in his office, working on the details of a possible impending war. 

Without thinking, the guard shut the door behind him and began rapidly speaking to the Advisor, without apologizing for bothering him first, “Sir, I have something I must report to you. The King has fallen in love with his servant!” the guard practically shrieked at the man. This was not good, not at all. “Keep your voice down! What are you talking about?” he asked, wanting to confirm what was just shouted at him. “It’s true, I heard him profess his love to her tonight.” the guard explained. 

Antony’s eyes widened, “If it got out that the King is in love with a servant, the kingdom’s reputation would be ruined. We have to kill her.” he replied, causing the guard to nod in agreement. “But how? They never leave each other’s side.” the guard inquired as he looked around the room, worried that someone might be listening to their discussion from the hall.

“Here’s what we’ll do, we’ll wait a couple hours, I will wake up the King and get him out of his quarters with the ruse of getting him to take a look at battle plans. And once she’s alone, you’ll sneak in there and slit her throat.” Antony proposed, wanting the guard to do his dirty work because he knew that Bucky would suspect him immediately if he killed you. “Got it. And now we wait.” the guard said impatiently as they both began to prepare themselves for the night ahead.

—----------------------------------------------------

“What is it, Antony?” Bucky sleepily muttered, an annoyed tone to his voice. “I have just had a breakthrough in our battle plans, you must come to my office now to look at them.” he quietly explained as Bucky sleepily got out of bed, feeling too tired to tell that his Advisor was clearly lying to him. “Fine, but make this quick.” Bucky said as he started to exit his quarters and head for Antony’s office. 

And once you were completely alone just minutes later, the guard snuck in, dagger in hand and approached your sleeping body. He slowly peeled the blankets back and started to position the blade just centimeters away from your throat. But unluckily for him, you had started to wake up the second he moved blankets, thinking he was Bucky. Once you felt this unfamiliar man’s breath on your face and you opened your eyes to see him hovering over you, you started to scream as loud as you possibly could, with all the strength you had, hoping it would save your life. Unfortunately for the guard and Antony’s plan, the guard had completely forgotten to threaten you to stay quiet.

“Bucky! Help!” you screamed, prompting Bucky to immediately run as fast as his legs could carry him to his quarters. What he saw once he arrived terrified him, someone had found out that he was in love with you and tried to have you killed. Not someone, Antony. His father had warned him years ago not to trust the man but instead of listening to his father’s advice, he let Antony become his Advisor. 

And without another second passing, Bucky rushed over to where you were, ripped the guard off you and pinned him against a nearby wall, the guard's own dagger now pressed to his throat, “Who told you to do this?” Bucky demanded through his clenched teeth, knowing it was unlikely that a guard would do this unless ordered to. “Your Advisor! I am so sorry, Your Highness.” the guard explained, the amount of fear Bucky had instilled in him encouraging his surrender. 

“Save it.” Bucky sternly said as he dropped the guard to the ground as Antony walked into the room. “You! You did this.” Bucky accused as he made a beeline for Antony, the tip of the dagger pointed directly at his throat. “I had to! She’s not good enough for a King, she’ll ruin the Kingdom’s reputation!” Antony explained as he held his hands up in surrender, his voice shaking with fear. 

“Shut your mouth, you do not speak for me! You have until morning to leave and if I see either of you ever again, you will be executed.” Bucky sternly said as he removed the dagger from Antony’s throat and before he had the chance to change his mind, both the guard and Antony ran out of the room.

Once they were gone, Bucky threw the dagger on a nearby table and rushed to you as you got out of bed and ran into his waiting arms. “My love.” he tearfully muttered as he caught you and began to hold you in his arms. In this moment, he was more than relieved that he was able to save you. He wouldn't have been able to ever forgive himself if he had failed. And although he hadn’t failed, he was still furious with himself for falling for Antony’s lies. 

Bucky cupped your face in his hand and kissed you, his tears dripping down both of your lips. “I thought I was going to lose you, my love, I’m so sorry I let this happen.” he said as he sat down on the bed and cried on your shoulder whilst you were still in his arms. You then gently rubbed his back as you opened your mouth to speak, “Do not be angry with yourself, Bucky, neither of us saw this coming. I’m glad that you got here when you did but please, promise me that this will never happen again. I was so scared.” you replied as your own voice started to break.

“No one is ever going to take you away from me, even if I have to go to the ends of the Earth to stop that from happening. As long as I’m here, you will never have to worry about what other people say or someone hurting you ever again. You will always be safe in this castle, I promise.” he reassured you as you nodded against him and he started to tighten his grip on you as if he was afraid that you’d disappear.

Silence took over the room once more before Bucky started to speak again and you removed your head from his shoulder, “I cannot bear the idea of you not being mine forever. Please, marry me.” Bucky begged as he started to hold your face in his hands again. “Yes.” you simply replied.

NAVIGATION

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[nostarfights]

[nostarfights]

[nostarfights]

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier 1.03 — "Power Broker"

[nostarfights]

From Eden

Pairing: vampire!Eddie Munson X vampire!fem!Reader

Summary: After the coven you and Eddie were a part of falls apart, the two of you reunite every ten years on the same day in the same place in New Orleans.

Warnings: Eddie and the reader are vampires, kinda interview with the vampire inspired, kissing, pining, idiots in love, implied smut, mentions of nudity, fire and Eddie saving the reader and a few uses of (y/n).

Word Count: 3.2K

a/n: not my best work but i hope y’all like this anyway!

the photos below do not belong to me

October 1, 1920

You awoke one night to the smell of smoke coming from outside of your bedroom. Then you saw the flames creeping under your door, making the window behind you your only chance of escape. In a flash you began to gather all of your belongings in the two suitcases from your closet, your figure barely visible at all as you darted around the room.

“(y/n)! Are you in there?” Eddie yelled from the other side of your door as he tried to figure out a way to get you out. But you didn’t respond, the smoke had become too thick and you could barely see even a few feet in front of you. 

Without a second thought, Eddie kicked your now burning door down to find you backed into a corner of your room, overwhelmed and unable to see anything. “Eddie?” you weakly called out as he entered the room before you then started to scream. The fire had started to reach you, so you called out for Eddie again, stronger this time as you threw your suitcases out of your bedroom window with the strength you had left.

“I’m here, just hold on! I’m not leaving without you!” he said to you as he began to fight his way through the fire and his own screams left his lips.

Hearing him scream as he attempted to save you made you feel horrible, if only you had just left your belongings behind and jumped out of the window in the first place. But you had spent so long building a good life for yourself after you were turned, the last thing you wanted to do was be forced to live on the streets, rats as your only friends and no money. You knew it was selfish but still, you wished that you had the courage to leave your things behind so that Eddie wouldn’t have to risk his life to save you.

The second you saw one of his hands appear through the smoke, you grabbed it and yanked him toward you. And without another word, Eddie scooped you up into his arms, exited the house through your window and landed safely in the backyard, ignoring the burns on his body.

Once you were safe, Eddie immediately wrapped his arms around you and pulled your body closer to his. “I thought I was going to lose you, sweetheart.” Eddie muttered into your hair as he held you close. “I’m okay.” you whispered against his now partially burnt shirt. 

The house had been burned down by the leader of you and Eddie’s coven, a woman who called herself Eleven. She had convinced herself that the whole coven was betraying her so she set the house on fire, according to another member of the coven, Gareth. But the rest of the vampires had taken care of her, another fire roaring in the front yard as she burned, while Eddie had been helping you escape, unaware that the two of you were still in the house. And now that she was gone, it was time for all of you to go your separate ways, something everyone aside from you, Eddie, Gareth and Robin had already done. 

“Promise me you’ll meet me here every ten years, I can’t bear to never see you again.” Eddie begged as he looked into your eyes, his hands now holding both of yours. “I’ll be here, Eddie. Don’t worry.” you replied and without another word, you simply pressed a kiss to his cheek, grabbed your things and disappeared into the night, leaving Eddie alone.

—-----------------------------------------------

October 1, 1930

Ten years had now passed and the land that your coven’s house once sat on now held a bar called “Corroded Coffin”, causing the corner of your lips to go up into a slight smirk. And just as you had promised Eddie, he would get to see you again. 

Upon entering the bar, you almost immediately spotted him. He was sitting in a dark booth in the back of the bar, looking as handsome as he did the night you last saw him, his body clad in a suit that had become popular over the last few years, his hair still long and his eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses like the ones on your own face.

You felt an intense feeling wash over you as you walked up to the booth, you didn’t know what it was but seeing him again made you feel as if you had been transported back to all the memories you and Eddie shared while you were in that coven together.

“Eddie?” you quietly said, not wanting to draw any attention to the two of you. His head whipped in your direction, he couldn’t believe you were actually here, you looked ethereal as you sat down across from him. 

Seeing you again made all of his feelings for you that he had been able to mostly ignore for the last ten years come rushing back. He regretted ever leaving without you that fateful night and if he could go back in time and beg you to leave with him instead, he would. He hated the vampire custom of parting ways with everyone in your coven if it fell apart but he’d been too nervous to stray away from it so he let you go.

But little did Eddie know, your feelings on the subject were quite the opposite. You wanted more than anything to be with Eddie forever, he was your best friend and the only other vampire you ever wanted around. But he’d suggested reuniting in ten years so quickly that you thought that he wanted to be alone for the rest of eternity, so you left just as quickly as that suggestion had left his mouth. You wanted more than anything to beg Eddie to go home with you but you were too nervous to ever bring it up. 

Hours easily passed as the two of you gave each other a run down of everything that’s happened in the last ten years, making you both nostalgic for when the coven was still together and you didn’t have anything to worry about. But before you knew it, it was 11pm and time for the bar to close for the night. 

“It was nice seeing you again, Eddie. I’ve missed you, a lot.” you admitted as the two of you walked out of the bar together. This shocked Eddie, he’d hoped that you missed him as much as he missed you and now that he knew you did, he felt as if his undead heart had skipped a beat. “I missed you too, sweetheart. Same time in ten years?” he replied, this nickname making you stop in your tracks once you had stepped outside.

God, you missed him but you were both too cowardly to do anything about it, too afraid of rejection. “I’ll be there.” you said and again, you disappeared into the night and ran back to where you now lived in Paris before the sun began to rise. 

The feeling of seeing you disappear caused Eddie’s chest to ache. You were the love of his life, his soulmate and he’d let you get away again. But he promised himself that someday, things would be different and he’d finally have the courage to admit his feelings for you.

—-----------------------------------------------

October 1, 1940

Another ten years had passed and you and Eddie were back in your booth in that bar. This time, you had something you’d been wanting to tell Eddie for almost ten years. 

Your eyes sparkled a little as you began to speak, “I have something to tell you.” you said, getting Eddie’s hopes up that you were going to tell him that you were in love with him. “Not long after our last reunion, I started dating another vampire, his name’s Steve. He’s a really great guy and it’s been nice not living alone anymore.” you told him, half convincing yourself that you liked Steve as much as you said you did.

In this moment, it was as if the wind had been knocked out of Eddie and his heart sunk, something he hadn’t felt since he was still human. So his suspicions were right, you never had feelings for him and he’d just been creating a fantasy in his head. He felt so foolish, he’d spent years being in love with you and you never felt the same.

He soon felt jealousy take over any other feeling, all he wanted was you but because of this fear rejection that wasn’t possible anymore. But you could never know how horrible this news was making him feel so he pretended to be happy for you, for your sake. 

“That’s great, (y/n). I’m happy to hear that you’ve found someone.” he replied, his jaw a little tense. But you saw right through him. He had been so happy to see you the last time and now his eyebrows were furrowed and he was staring at you with a look in his eyes that could burn a hole through your head. 

“What’s going on? You’re not acting like yourself, Eds.” you asked, a concerned look in your eyes as you reached over the table to hold his hand. He snatched his hand back right away, causing your eyes to tear up a little, blood almost cascading down your face, “I’m fine let’s just talk about something else, please.” he answered, his gaze softening a little now that you were no longer talking about Steve. 

And now, in this moment, Eddie wished that he wasn’t such a coward and that he had just admitted his feelings for you the last time he saw you. Instead, he hesitated, causing him to worry that he’d lost you forever. He could never love anyone else, he only loved you and you were never going to be his. 

But what he didn’t know is that the only reason you started to date Steve was because you were incredibly lonely without Eddie and you just wanted someone to fill that Eddie-shaped gap in your life. Nevertheless it was no use, you didn’t love Steve, no matter how much you pretended you did, no one could replace Eddie. 

You didn’t think that Eddie ever wanted to spend eternity with you or be in your life for more than one evening so Steve would have to do. You just couldn’t bear the idea of being alone anymore. But you had to admit, you felt guilty about using Steve like this so you vowed to yourself that the second you got back to Paris you were going to break up with him and attempt to come to terms with your loneliness. 

And unlike your last reunion, this one ended just an hour after you had arrived and for the third time since your coven's house burnt down, you left and went your separate ways.

—-----------------------------------------------

October 1, 1950

You took a deep breath in, even though you haven’t needed to breathe in decades, as you sat down across from Eddie in your booth. You were surprised to see him here again after how he’d reacted last time when you revealed that you were dating someone. But given his reaction to that, you knew that he’d probably be happy to hear what you were about to say.

“I broke up with Steve, I had been pretending to love him so that I wouldn’t have to be alone anymore. I have to come to terms with my loneliness, no matter how much it hurts, so I left him. I just couldn’t string him along anymore.” you made known to him, causing the tenseness in your shoulders to melt away. 

For once in ten years, Eddie felt as if the weight in his mind had gone away. But he had to admit, even though it was nice knowing that you were single again, your loneliness saddened him and made him feel even more guilty than before for not begging you to leave the coven’s house with him. He could have spared you of so much pain if he had just spoken up. 

“I’m sorry that happened, sweetheart, I understand where you’re coming from. I’m still getting used to living alone too.” he told you, making you smile at the sound of that nickname you had so desperately missed hearing fall from his lips. “Thanks, Eds. I appreciate you still showing up, even after what happened last time.” you quietly said as you softly smiled at him. “I’ll always be here for you, even if we only see each once every ten years.” he said, causing you to laugh a little.

As you continued to catch up with one another, Eddie got the courage to admit feelings for you or at least he thought he did. “There’s something I need to tell you, it’s been on my mind for a while,” he said, earning an encouraging nod from you once he paused, “I’m-” he had started to say “I’m in love with you” but he just couldn't do it, it was if he couldn’t speak. He was still too afraid of losing you again so he stopped himself before it was too late. “I recently joined a new coven in Washington.” he said, hoping that you’d ignore the fact that he almost said something else. 

“Oh, nice.” you replied, feeling a little underwhelmed as you had expected his announcement to be something bigger.

In a way, this moment saddened you. You could tell there was something else Eddie wanted to tell you so why didn’t he just spit it out? You never expected to remain close with him after spending so many years apart but still it upset you to know that you and Eddie may never be as close as you were in the coven. You felt like you were losing him and you hated that but even though he was lonely, maybe he liked being away from you. After all, he knew where you lived and yet he never visited. 

But even so, as you kept thinking you soon realized that you had always been in love with Eddie, since that day you joined Eleven’s coven forty years ago. It had always been him and that was especially obvious to you now that you and Steve were broken up. But just like Eddie, even though you had nothing to be afraid of as a vampire you were still terrified of admitting your feelings so you decided to keep them a secret until the right time came along. 

Over the last ten years, you both had been yearning for each other so desperately and you felt as if you needed Eddie more than your body could ever need blood. But still, both of your fears of rejection held you back. Eddie wanted to scream from the top of a building that he loved you but instead he remained quiet and reserved on the matter, like a traumatized cat. But still, now was not the time.

And as Eddie hugged you goodbye later in the night, that courage to admit his feelings reappeared. He almost got the words out this time but before he could, you were gone again, the scent of your perfume in the air the only thing left of you. 

—-----------------------------------------------

September 30, 1960

It was the night before you and Eddie’s fifth reunion as he stood on the doorstep to your new house in New Orleans, the one you’d told him about in the letters you had started to write to him a few months after your last reunion. He’d decided to show up a day early, suitcase in hand, to finally tell you how he feels. You lived in an old, black Victorian home, the darkest house in the neighborhood, which Eddie admired as he stood there and before he could change his mind, he was knocking on your door. 

Once Eddie started getting your letters, he’d realized that he was tired of hiding how he felt, how much he loved you. Tonight was going to be the night he told you he was in love with you and if you ended up telling him that you didn’t love him back then at least he could disappear back to Washington forever. 

His thoughts were then abruptly interrupted by you opening your front door. “Eddie!” you exclaimed as you hugged him, causing him to drop his suitcase as he tightly hugged you back. He’d missed this, he’d missed you, more than anything else in the world. “What’re you doing here a day early?” you asked him as you quickly picked up his suitcase, welcomed him into your home and led him to your living room, setting his bag down by the door on the way there. “I really missed you so I decided to show up a little early,” he said, pausing for a moment before he spoke once more as the two of you sat together on your couch, “But there’s something I need to tell you.” he told you, prompting you to encourage him to keep speaking as you patiently waited. 

“I’m in love with you and I never want to leave you again. I’ve realized that it’s always been you and that I could never love anyone else. I think about you every second that I’m awake and I dream about you every second that I’m asleep. All I want is you and to spend the rest of eternity by your side. I’d just been too afraid to say anything until now.” Eddie explained, causing a shocked feeling to wash over you as you looked into his eyes, now finally being able to see them without his sunglasses in front of them for the first time in years.

The fact that Eddie actually loved you all this time made you feel like an idiot, he was right in front of you this whole time and yet you were both too afraid of rejection to do anything about it. “Oh, Eds, I love you too. I always have, I feel like such an idiot for not saying anything sooner. I wish we could’ve spent more time together.” you replied. 

In this moment, hearing you say those words Eddie had always dreamt of hearing you say, the intense feeling of how much he loved you washed over him and instead of saying anything else he kissed you, hoping that this kiss would convey all the love he had felt for you over the last fifty years.

Which it did, prompting you to passionately kiss him back as you began to straddle his lap and his hands shifted down to hold your waist. He never wanted to let go of you. “I love you so much, sweetheart. You’re not an idiot.” Eddie muttered against your lips as you began to grind against him, causing him to let out a quiet moan.

“I love you more,” you said, pausing as you continued to kiss him, “Take me, Eds, I need you so bad. I’ve been waiting for so long.” you begged, eliciting another moan out of him. “As you wish.” he simply replied as he started to undress you.

—-----------------------------------------------

The time was 5am as you and Eddie laid naked together in your coffin, skin to skin, while the sun started to rise and Eddie pressed soft kiss after kiss to your lips.

Now for once in forty years, you could both be at peace now you knew that you have each other for the rest of eternity. You could finally rest in a love-filled haze, worry-free once again.

I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door.

NAVIGATION

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[nostarfights]

You've Bewitched Me

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky accidentally falls asleep on your shoulder on his train ride home and it leads to something very unexpected.

Warnings: Bucky falling asleep on the readers shoulder, awkwardness/nervousness, strangers to friends-ish to lovers, Bucky being old & not the best at using technology, kissing, implied smut, mentions of aftercare, Bucky gets hurt during a mission.

Word Count: 8.4k

a/n: this is a repost from my old blog. also this is a few years old so if the writing isn’t the best that’s why lol.

the gif below does not belong to me

You spaced out a little as you sat down in the train that would eventually take you to your stop. You were feeling incredibly tired in this moment after all of the work you’d had to complete during your shift today. All you wanted was to get home, eat dinner, take a shower, change into your pajamas then go to sleep. And while you were very tired, you still maintained your consciousness, not wanting to fall asleep around a bunch of strangers.

You were still aware of your surroundings and the stop announcements overhead but you were spaced out enough that at first you didn’t notice the gorgeous man who sat down next to you in the last free seat. Bucky briefly looked at you as he sat down, noticing the spaced out look on your face and the earbuds in your ears. Which he could hear the sound of music by a more recent artist whom he had probably never heard of coming out of.

Moments later once you had seen this man in your peripheral vision, you allowed yourself to take a peek at him after you had blinked a few times, your curiosity getting the best of you for a second. And when your eyes did meet him, they widened a little bit. He was gorgeous, you had never seen someone as attractive as him. And if you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t really think much of him taking the last empty seat that just so happened to be next to you. You were used to seeing the cars just filled with people this time of day.

So you put your attention back onto the window across from you, taking your eyes off of the man who was still sat to your left and looking at the scenery that passed the train instead. But you noticed the longer you two sat there, waiting for your stops, the more his eyelids had begun to droop.

He fought sleep for a few minutes before letting his body finally rest. And when he did fall asleep, he stirred a little bit and began to rest his head on your shoulder, causing you to freeze up like a deer in headlights. You peaked over at him again, he was completely asleep now and probably didn’t fall asleep on you on purpose, this reassuring thought making your shoulders relax a bit.

And while you didn’t know this man, you decided that you would wake him up a few stops before your own, hoping that he wouldn’t be too far from his stop when you did wake him up. But you froze up again when he unknowingly snuggled into you in his unconscious state, causing you to make another decision.

When you did wake him up, you would only say that he fell asleep on you if it came up. You wouldn’t include the part where he began to cuddle with you, for his sake. As you sat there with him, you couldn’t help but start to fall in love with this man. Even though you knew nothing about him, not even his name. You hoped you’d get the confidence to introduce yourself to him after you woke him up.

———————————

About ten minutes later, you were now three stops away from your stop and it was now the time for you to wake up the very attractive man sleeping on your shoulder. You hoped your interaction wouldn’t be too awkward once he did wake up. First, you paused your music and took your headphones out. Then, you started to gently poke at his shoulder that was not pressed to you and you quietly spoke to him, “Excuse me.” you said a couple times as you kept poking his shoulder, prompting him to abruptly wake up.

And as he woke up, his head still lingered on your shoulder for a few more seconds before he moved it. He then looked over at you again once he was fully conscious, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.” he said, a bit of an awkward tone to his voice as he looked at you. You softly smiled at him and in that moment he felt as though he had been bewitched by you and your beauty. “It’s alright. Don’t worry about it.” you replied, that soft smile still on your face, making him feel a little at ease.

He awkwardly smiled back at you, still feeling bad for falling asleep on you. But you didn’t really mind whatsoever, accidents happen. You then stuck your hand out and spoke to him again, “I’m (y/n), by the way.” you told him, introducing yourself with a friendly tone to your voice. He smiled to himself at the sound of your name, liking the way it sounded in his head. He took your hand in his and shook it for a few seconds before letting go. And while your hand was in his, you noticed that besides the pair of gloves he was wearing, his hands were a lot bigger than yours, causing butterflies to appear in your stomach.

He nodded, “I’m Bucky. It’s nice to meet you.” he replied once he had let go of your hand, trying to sound friendly as well like Sam had suggested. But he just ended up sounding awkward, making you smile at him again. “It’s nice to meet you too, Bucky.” you said as you looked into his enchanting blue eyes, liking the way his name sounded when you said it.

And after hearing the most recent overhead stop announcement, he felt calm with the idea that he wouldn’t have to be awkwardly sat next to you, this beautiful stranger for much longer. But when his stop was announced and he stood up from his seat, so did you. You awkwardly smiled at each other as the train came to a stop and you held onto the metal bar above your heads.

And before you went off to the exit closest to your apartment, you waved goodbye to Bucky, “Bye, Bucky.” you said while you sent another smile and wink his way, causing his cheeks to heat up a bit. He silently waved back at you with a soft smile on his own face before turning back around. Under other circumstances, he would’ve liked to interact with you more. But given the awkward way you two met, he decided to keep the rest of your interaction short and sweet.

But he promised himself that if he ever did see you on the train again that he’d talk to you more, he’d start the conversation and hopefully at some point he would get the courage to ask for your number. “Why on earth would a super solider like him get nervous over asking someone out?” Bucky thought as he continued to walk towards his exit.

But the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. No one had taken romantic interest in him since the 40’s and he didn’t really know what to do about it. Especially when someone as beautiful as you was being so kind to him and treating him like he was a normal person. He liked that about you.

While you walked to your apartment, you thought of how Bucky looked at you like you were an actual person and not something for him to eat. He treated you with actual respect, even if he was a bit awkward. And though he was doing the bare minimum, you still liked that about him. If you did end up seeing him again, maybe you’d actually give romance a chance this time around. And if Bucky was interested in you in that way, maybe he would be different compared to the men you’ve gone out with in the past. But for now, all you could do was hope that your love life would actually go the way you wanted it to.

———————————

The following morning when you got on the train again to head to work, you saw Bucky again, the sight of him making you smile. This time, he was sitting by himself with a book in his hands and the only free seat was next to him. And before you went to sit down, you let yourself admire him for a few seconds. In the morning sunlight, his eyes looked like the most beautiful crystal you would ever see. Everything about this man bewitched you, in every sense of the word.

You then quickly walked over to the empty seat next to Bucky before anyone could claim it. And when you did sit down, Bucky looked up as he saw you coming in his peripheral vision and he recognized the scent of your perfume. This time, he smiled at you and spoke to you first, causing a fluttery feeling to bloom in your chest. 

“Hey. It’s nice to see you again.” he said to you, the dark timbre in his voice causing goosebumps to appear on your arms, making you feel glad that you were wearing a long sleeve shirt today. “Hi, Bucky. It’s nice to see you again too.” you replied, instantly smiling back at the gorgeous man sitting next to you.

As for a majority of the ride, the two of you continued your conversion and got to know a little more about each other. Where you were from, how old you were, what you did for a living. And surprisingly when Bucky revealed what he did for a living, you weren’t too shocked as his face had seemed familiar to you and you had noticed how hard his left shoulder had felt when you had poked it the day before.

Bucky felt a bit relieved to know that you weren’t that shocked now that you knew exactly who he was, he didn’t want you to be afraid of him. But before Bucky knew it, he had just a few more minutes left until his stop. So he decided to be brave and ask you for your number, wanting to wait a little while longer until he asked you out on a date. He didn’t want to come off as creep after all, but you’d never see him in that way.

He then turned his body slightly so that it was facing yours, “Sorry if this comes off too strong, but I was wondering if I could possibly get your number? I know we still barely know each other, but I really like you, (y/n) and I’d like to get to know you better if that’s okay with you?” he asked you as he raised his eyebrows in anticipation. You smiled at him as he nervously asked you this. To see a man as attractive and powerful as him act nervous was cute to you. It showed that he wasn’t above everyone like the news portrayed him to be.

You nodded with a smile, “Sure, Bucky. I really like you too.” you answered, your own nervousness popping up as you spoke to him. “Okay cool.” he quickly said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocked it, opened the contacts app and handed his phone to you.

You slowly took his phone from him, not wanting to risk dropping it and as you did, your hands brushed up against each other. And while it may have been 7am, this simple touch made you feel as if your whole body was on fire and your hands shook a little, showing Bucky the effect he had on you. He subtly smirked at you as you created a new contact on your phone and typed in your number as well as your name before hitting save. And once you had given his phone back to him, he spoke again, “I’ll text you so that you have my number.” he told you.

He typed out the words “Hey, it’s Bucky!” and added a smiley emoji at the end then hit send. Seconds later you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and you took it out, “Got it!” you made him known once you had turned your phone on and looked at your lock screen. Then the moment he had been dreading all morning happened, his stop was announced and he would have to leave you and go to work. He dreaded this as he’d much rather talk to you all day then argue with Sam or awkwardly talk to Tony.

“Well, this is my stop.” he said to you as he stood up, prompting you to softly frown at him. You then looked up into his eyes from your seat, “Bye, handsome. I’ll text you, okay?” you replied, causing his cheeks to heat up again at the sound of the new nickname you had for him. “Alright, doll. I’ll see you later.” he said with a wink before he exited the train, using this as his chance to make you feel all flustered. Which worked in his favor now that he knew about the effect he had on you.

And as you sadly watched him leave, you couldn’t help but think about what you two could become now that you were officially in each other's lives. And again you hoped that this would go the way you wanted it to. You wanted to have Bucky in your life in any way that you could, even if you just ended up being friends. Even that would be enough for you. But you hoped more than anything that you and Bucky would eventually become lovers.

Before you got off at your own stop, you took a quick selfie and sent it to him. Following with the word “Hi!” and a smiley emoticon, the nervousness of a man like him actually being interested in you like this coursing through your body. But you knew that you’d get over this nervousness eventually. At least, that’s what you were aiming for.

———————————

You and Bucky had sent a few texts to each other throughout the day, not wanting to bother the other person too much while you were working. But you both noticed as you worked, that you couldn’t wait to go home so that you could possibly see each other on the train that evening. But when Bucky got on the train that evening at 5:30pm which was a little after the time it was when you two first met the day before, you weren’t there. He waited a few stops and you still hadn’t shown up. So he texted you just to make sure that everything was alright.

Bucky: Is everything alright? You aren’t on the train ride home tonight.

You responded to his text a few minutes later, those butterflies reappearing in your stomach at the thought of him being worried about you. No guy you had been with in the past had actually cared enough about you to send this kind of text.

Y/N: I’m alright, don’t worry. I got caught up in some extra paperwork so my boss ordered an Uber to take me home. :)

Reading these words made Bucky let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. He was relieved to know that everything was alright and you had just stayed late at work.

After being in his line of work for as long as he has, he easily worried about the people he cared about. Which was a small number, but still it would destroy him if you got hurt and he wasn’t there to protect you.

Bucky: Good, just wanted to make sure you were okay. Call me when you get home? 😊

Y/N: Of course, I’d miss talking to you if I didn’t. I’m in the Uber now, I’ll talk to you soon. ❤️

Now, Bucky could really let himself relax on the way home. Which luckily was only a few minutes away now. And the second he did arrive at his stop, he quickly walked back to his apartment, not wanting to risk missing your call in the event that you somehow got home before he did.

——————————— Once you got home twenty minutes after Bucky had initially gotten off of the train, you set your bag down by the door and took your shoes off before heading to sit on your couch.

And while you hadn’t known Bucky for long, you already missed his face. So as you got settled on your couch, you decided to FaceTime him instead, hoping that his friend Sam that he had mentioned had taught him how to use the app.

You wanted to feel closer to him even when you were both at home and tired from the day of work you’d had. You tapped on the camera icon next to his contact name and after a few rings, he answered, displaying that handsome face you had missed all day. His phone moved around a little as he started to talk to you, “Doll? Can you see me?” he asked, making you laugh. Which was like the most beautiful symphony he had ever heard, he could truly listen to your voice and your laugh forever.

You continued to laugh as you answered his questions, “Yes, I can see you, Bucky.” you answered, just a smile lingering on your face now. He laughed a little at himself, “Sorry, I’ve never used this app before.” he told you as he admired your beauty through his phone screen. You smiled at that, “That’s alright, don’t worry about it. You’ll get used to using it eventually.” you assured him as you stared right back at him.

For the rest of the call, you talked to each other about how your days had been. Bucky had talked about how he’d have to leave to go on a mission next Saturday but he’d try to get better with the whole FaceTime thing so that he could still talk to you and see your beautiful face. At least that’s how he put it, his compliment making you blush.

And you had complained to him about how you’d been tasked with dealing more paperwork. Bucky had assured you that you’d probably get a promotion after all of that hard work and he jokingly said that he would have a talk with your boss if you didn’t, making you laugh again.

The two of you FaceTimed for a little while longer while you made dinner for yourself in your own apartments and later ate together. But once you had both finished eating, you knew that it was time to end the call for the night. You looked back at him on your phone screen and smiled, “Anyway, I gotta go shower and get ready for bed. But I’ll text you, Bucky.” you told him as you leaned on the doorframe to your bedroom.

You chuckled a little at the grumpy look that had appeared on his face when you told him you had to go. He liked talking to you this way, he liked talking to you in general. But he’d let you go for now, one question still weighing heavy on his mind.

“Alright but before you go, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you.” he made known to you, making your eyebrows start to raise in anticipation like his had when he asked you for your number that morning. “What is it, Bucky?” you asked him, feeling a bit impatient now that you knew that he had something he wanted to ask you. “Well this isn’t how I’d prefer to do this but I’d rather not wait until Monday to see you again, I was wondering if you’d like to go out on a date with me tomorrow night?” he asked, making those pesky butterflies appear in your stomach yet again. You nodded in response right away, “I’d love to, Bucky. I’ll text you my address later.” you answered, a cute smile of his own appearing on his face as you spoke.

Then after you said your drawn out goodbyes and hung up, you set your phone down on your bedside table and walked to your bathroom to take that shower you had mentioned to Bucky just minutes ago.

———————————

Upon re-entering your room after you had taken a shower, done your skincare routine and changed into your pajamas, you plopped yourself onto your bed and grabbed your phone from your bedside table. You opened you and Bucky’s conversation again and sent him your address. He replied to your message almost right away with a selfie, which was very unlike him. He looked good, really good. In the photo, he was laying down on his bed looking at the camera with a subtle smirk on his lips.

And in this moment all you wanted to do was kiss him, but knew it was a little soon to be going after stuff like that with him. After all, you had only known each other for two days at this point. So you held yourself back a bit, at least for now.

Y/N: So handsome. 😮‍💨

He blushed at your message once he read it and in return you sent him a selfie of your own. Similar to him, you were laying in your bed and looking at the camera like he had been. But what you didn’t know is that seeing this photo of you, made Bucky feel as if his body had been set on fire, he felt like he was falling harder for you than he had been before. And your texts and FaceTime call only solidified this.

The more he looked at that photo of you, the more he felt like he could imagine what you would look like in his space or what you would look like when he finally kissed you for the first time. He hadn’t felt this way in years and now that he had you, he never wanted to let you go. He didn’t want anyone else. He just wanted you.

Bucky: Gorgeous, gorgeous girl.

What Bucky had sent back had made you feel all flustered for what felt like the millionth time since you two met. But you knew that it would probably be a good idea to go to bed now before you got ahead of yourself. You didn’t think it was the right moment to start sending Bucky the suggestive messages that you wanted to send when you hadn’t even kissed yet.

Y/N: Thank youuu.

Y/N: I’ll talk to you in the morning, Bucky. Goodnight ❤️

His next message made you smile, happy to see that the reserved man you had met on the train two days ago was starting to get more comfortable when talking to you.

Bucky: I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, doll. ❤️

His new nickname for you made you feel as if you were bursting at the seams with the feelings you had for him. But before you thought about what he had called you too much and kept yourself up all night, you plugged your phone in, turned the lights in your room off, put your phone down and went to sleep.

That night you dreamed of Bucky and what your first date tomorrow night could hold. And when you awoke the next morning, you hoped that your date would be as magical as that dream. But as long as you were with Bucky, you already knew it would be.

———————————

It was now 5pm on Saturday evening, the day of your date and Bucky had texted you that morning to tell you that he’d pick you up at 6pm. So before you ran out of too much time, you got out of bed and began to get ready for your first date with the handsome man.

You first did the makeup look that you thought suited your features the best and made you look beautiful, except for any lipstick as you hadn’t brushed your teeth yet. Then you retrieved a classy black dress from your closet that you’d had for a little while and put it on, quickly reaching behind yourself to zip it up. And once it was comfortably situated on your body, you went over to your bathroom and started to style your hair. After playing around with possible hairstyles for a few minutes, you decided to go with just leaving all of your hair down once you had combed/brushed it out again.

And while you brushed your teeth, you slid your heels on, feeling extremely excited for the night ahead with Bucky. No one had ever made you feel the way Bucky did and you took that as a good sign that things between the two of you would work out. You were truly a fool for him and even though you had only known him for 3 days, you already felt like you were falling in love with him.

Bucky also thought about the love he already had for you as he got ready for tonight in his own apartment. He had put on a black on black suit that he hadn’t worn since Tony’s last gala a few months ago. He’d gotten a lot of compliments on it when he had worn it to that particular gala and he wanted to see what you thought when you saw him in it. He wanted to look good for you. Right after he finished getting dressed, he went over to his bathroom and did his hair how he normally did it. His hair was a lot shorter than it used to be and he didn’t really have much to do with it now. And as you had done, he then brushed his teeth and slipped his dress shoes on. Then sprayed some cologne on himself, grabbed his phone and headed out the door.

And while you were applying the finishing touches to your lipstick after you had sprayed some perfume onto yourself, someone knocked on your front door, signaling to you that Bucky was now here. So you grabbed your purse — with your phone in it — and quickly walked over to your front door.

When you opened the door — your purse hanging from your shoulder — Bucky’s jaw dropped in shock. He had never seen someone so beautiful, so ethereal, he never wanted to look away from you. He’d stare at you for years and years if he could.

“Hey.” you said to him, a soft smile on your lips after you did some admiring of your own. He looked incredible, so handsome and regal as he stood just outside your apartment with a bouquet of flowers in hand. He took a deep breath, “Wow, Doll, look at you. You’re so beautiful.” he replied, his sweet compliments making you blush and shyly smile at him. He spoke up again a moment later, “Oh, these are for you by the way.” he said as he handed the flowers to you.

You grinned at him, “Thank you, Bucky. These are beautiful.” you said, unknowingly prompting him to compliment you again as you went to put them in your kitchen. “Not as beautiful as you, doll.” he said as you rejoined him at the doorway, then grabbing one of your hands and pressing a soft kiss to the back of it, making goosebumps appear on your arms. “You ready to go?” you asked him as you began to wrap your hand around the part of your doorknob that faced the hallway. He nodded right away and briefly placed his hands in his pockets, “I’m ready when you are, sweet girl.” he replied, adding another nickname that made you smile at him again.

You then closed your front door behind you and locked it, “Alright then, let’s go.” you told him, gently taking his right hand in yours, giving it a gentle squeeze as a way of reassuring him about his metal arm. You did this because Bucky had gone without his usual black gloves tonight and you wanted him to know that you weren’t afraid of him or his arm. He squeezed your hand back and led you down the hallway to the elevator he had taken up to the floor your apartment is on, silently telling you that he knew you weren’t afraid of him.

He stayed close to you the whole time you walked to his car, making you question why he rode the subway everyday if he had a car until you got inside and you saw the Stark logo on the big screen in the car. You assumed that he had borrowed it from Tony for tonight, which only made your heart swell with love. 

He just wanted this night to be perfect for the two of you.

——————————— After a short fifteen minute drive, Bucky parked the car outside of a fancy looking restaurant. And once the car had been turned off, Bucky got out of the car, ran around to your side to open your door and help you get out. The two of you held hands as you walked into the restaurant and up to the hostess’ podium. “James Barnes, table for two.” he simply said, prompting the hostess who had been standing there to check their reservation book for his name. “Ah, Mr. Barnes. Right this way.” she said, motioning for the two of you to follow her to your table.

Your table was in a more quiet part of the restaurant, away from the loud groups of people that had come in that evening. Bucky held your hand the whole way there, even as the hostess set your menu’s down on the table. “Your waiter will be with you soon. Enjoy!” she said with a friendly smile before walking back to the hostess’ podium in the front of the restaurant.

And before you could pull out your own chair and sit down, Bucky had appeared behind you and pulled your chair out for you. Then he slowly pushed it in until you were sat down after you had stood in front of it. Seconds later, he took his own seat across from you, the small light from the fake candle on the table bouncing off of his eyes as he looked at you. “So, James.” you teasingly said as I looked at him over your menu, a light smirk on your lips. He chuckled a little at your theatrics, “My name is actually James, but most people call me Bucky.” he explained, resulting in you nodding in response.

Just seven minutes later, your waiter for the night appeared and introduced themself before asking if you were ready to order. Which you were and once they had disappeared with your menus, Bucky reached over the table and took your hand in his as you two began to get to know each other better. You told each other everything about yourselves, not feeling the need to hide anything from each other. Only briefly going silent when your waiter came back with your food or one of you took a bite of the meal you had ordered. And the more either of you talked, the more you both felt like you had known each other for years.

———————————

Two hours later, after your meals had been finished long ago and the two of you had just finished the desert you decided to share, Bucky had paid the bill and it was unfortunately time to leave. You didn’t want this date to ever end, you wanted to stay with Bucky forever. He didn’t want to leave you either. Since Steve left him and went back to the past, Bucky really hadn’t felt understood or seen or liked but then you waltzed into his life and showed him what it was like to feel all of those things again. He never wanted to let go of you for as long as he lived.

After another short fifteen minute car ride, you two were back at your apartment building. And like he had done when you got to the restaurant, Bucky helped you get out of the car once more and he held his hand in yours while he took you back up to your apartment. And when you did reach your apartment, you faced your front door for a moment then turned around to face Bucky again. “I don’t want you to leave.” you admitted with a groan, a sad look on your face as you looked at him.

He used your hand that was still in his to gently pull you closer to him. He placed his hands on your face and tipped your head up so that your eyes met his. “I know, I don’t want to leave you either, doll. But I promise that I'll try to get good at the whole FaceTime thing so you don’t miss me too much.” he replied as he continued to hold your face in his hands. You chuckled at that, “Okay.” you quietly said to him and placed your hands over his own, your thumbs stroking the backs of his hands.

Bucky’s eyes then went from your eyes down to your lips up to your eyes and back to your lips again. Feeling a bit impatient, you simply said, “Kiss me, Bucky. Please.” And before you could possibly do anything else, Bucky leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. The moment his lips left yours, you felt the urge to chase them again and again. You couldn’t get over how good his lips felt against your own. But again, you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself this early into knowing him. So you pulled away from his lips again and settled on giving him one more kiss on his cheek instead, leaving a kiss print there because of your lipstick.

Bucky smiled at the feeling of your lips on his cheek and gave you one last kiss of his own tonight, this time on your forehead as he started to hold your hand again. “Goodnight, doll.” he said as started to walk away from you, not letting go of your hand until he was too far away to reach you. “Goodnight, Bucky.” you replied, blowing him a kiss as he got closer and closer to the elevator. He caught the kiss and put it in his pocket, making that smile of yours that he loved so much reappear on your face.

At this point, you felt so lovesick whenever you saw or thought of him. You didn't know how much longer you could hold yourself back. All you wanted was him. He was all that you could have ever wanted and more.

———————————

Not long after Bucky had dropped you off, you had started to take your makeup off and while you were doing so, you heard your phone receive a text from Bucky. But you’d look at it later once you had gotten all of your makeup off and you were in your pajamas. Once you had finished wiping all of your makeup off, you put some moisturizer on your finger tips and began to gently massage it into the skin on your face. You massaged any remaining product onto your neck and arms afterwards. You then slipped your dress off and threw it into your nearby laundry bin, discarding it a pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt instead.

Then you got under the covers on your bed and grabbed your phone again. Bucky had sent you a selfie he had taken in the car before he left. In the photo, the right side of his face was pointed towards the camera — the kiss print you had left there on display — and a grumpy look on his face. You smiled at how cute he looked in the photo and hearted the message. Everything this man did made your stomach flip and you never wanted to let go of him or that feeling.

Y/N: Aww, that shade looks so good on you.

Your response made a smile of his own appear on his face as he read the way you teased him through a text. He was so in love with you already but he knew better than to tell you this now.

Bucky: Thanks, doll. 🙄

You admired the way he seemed to match your energy in this moment, not making anything awkward by any means. You liked the way he teased you back.

——————————— For the next six days until Bucky would have to leave for his mission, you spent as much time as possible together every single day whenever you had any free time. You went out to lunch together multiple times, Bucky hung out at your place a couple times after work and you did the same at his place on a couple other days, you cuddled, kissed more, watched movies together.

But now it was Friday night and Bucky would have to leave for his mission in the morning. So, you decided to give him a special surprise tonight. On the train ride home that evening, you told Bucky to come over to your place at 7pm because you had a surprise for him. That surprise being a black lacy lingerie set that you were currently hiding under a robe. You couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when you took the robe off.

And at 7pm like you had requested, Bucky showed up at your apartment, nervousness coursing through his system as he knocked on your front door a few times. You opened the door moments later and leaned against the doorframe as you greeted him, “Hey.” you said, a smirk on your face. You hadn’t even taken the robe off yet and Bucky’s jaw had already dropped. He was just so in awe of your beauty, even as you took his hand in yours and led the way to your bedroom, the lights throughout your home now on a dimmer setting.

When you reached your bedroom, he noticed that there were a few small fake candles sitting on both of your bedside tables and a speaker on your dresser that was quietly playing mood music. You then swapped places with him so that you were standing closer to the door instead and you placed a hand on his chest, gently pushing him back towards your bed. “Lay down for me, Bucky.” you requested and he obeyed right away, eager to see what you were hiding under that robe.

You then closed your bedroom door behind you and started to untie the loose knot at your waist. And once the knot had been undone, you slowly slid the robe down your body until it hit the hardwood floor below you. You looked so beautiful to Bucky in this moment, the lingerie set you were wearing hugged your curves in all the right ways and made you look perfect, like a dream come true. “Oh, doll. Come here.” he requested with a groan after he had swallowed thickly. And like he had, you obeyed this request right away.

You seductively walked over to him and started to straddle his lap, causing Bucky to sit up and place his hands on your hips before he then started to gently rub your sides with his large hands. You let out a soft moan as his hands went down to your ass and gave it a firm squeeze. He placed his nose in the crook of your neck and inhaled, “You’re so beautiful, doll. I could just eat you.” he said as he pressed a passionate kiss to your lips.

His lips then trailed down from your lips to your jaw, to your neck, to your collarbone and over to your shoulder where he slid a finger under one of the straps, letting it snap against your skin. You were already so wet for him and he had barely touched you. And going off of the way he felt under you whenever you moved your hips, he was already rock hard in his pants even though you had barely touched him.

“So what are you waiting for?” you asked him, awakening something feral in him as his pupils became even bigger.

———————————

Later that night after you and Bucky had both came multiple times, he began to take care of you. He first gently parted from you and got up from your bed, despite your whining and begging for him to stay in bed with you. He put his boxers back on and went to your bathroom to retrieve a washcloth that he could wet with warm water in your sink.

Once rejoining you in your bedroom, he kneeled in front of you on your bed and gently parted your legs. Then as gently as he possibly could, he wiped you in between your legs, not wanting to make you feel overstimulated. He left you for one more quick moment to hang the cloth up in your bathroom, mentally reminding himself to put it into your laundry bin the next morning.

This time when he rejoined you in your bedroom, he slowly put your tired body under the covers and got under them as well. He pulled your body close to his, letting you rest your head and one of your hands on his chest while you put one of your legs over both of his and you let your sleepiness take over.

And once you were comfortable, he too got comfortable. And that night you fell asleep, safe in his arms, never feeling as safe or loved as you did when he held you.

———————————

The next morning, at 6am Bucky slowly slipped you out of his arms and headed back to his apartment to grab the bag he would need before he left for his mission. But before he left you, he got dressed, pressed a kiss to your forehead, left a note behind on the bedside table closest to you and of course put the washcloth he had used last night in your laundry bin.

And now that Bucky actually had someone to come home to, he promised himself that he would do everything in his power to be safe and come back to you, alive and in one piece. You woke up not long after Bucky left as if you could detect his absence, your bed felt cold without him in it. But before you got too sad, you spotted the note he had left for you. It read:

(y/n),

I’m sorry I had to leave so soon, I needed to grab my go bag from my apartment before I left for that mission I told you about. I’ll see you soon, doll. I promise.

- Bucky

This note eased some of your worries. But you had to admit, you did still feel a bit worried for Bucky now that he was off on that mission. What if he got seriously injured? What would you do if he never came back to you? You didn’t have answers to either of those questions because you had already become too attached to Bucky to even think of what your life would be like without him in it.

——————————— A few days later after you had gotten home from work, you had gotten a call from a number you didn’t recognize so you let it go to voicemail. The voicemail the person attempting to contact you left appeared on your phone just a minute later. And as you listened to it, your breath and hands became shaky, you started to tear up and anxiety coursed its way through your body. This couldn’t be happening, your worst nightmare had become reality.

The person who had left the voicemail said, “Hey, this is Sam, Bucky’s friend. Listen, we had to come home early because Bucky got stabbed, it was pretty bad. But he’s going to be fine, Dr. Banner was able to stop the bleeding and is stitching him right now in his apartment. I know you probably weren’t expecting this but Bucky insisted that I pick you up and take you to his apartment, you’re the only person he wants to see right now. I’ll meet you at the entrance to your building in 10.” Sam told you in his voicemail.

You were relieved to know that he was going to be okay but it still broke your heart to hear that Bucky had gotten hurt badly. You wished you could put a protective bubble around him so that he could never get hurt again. But you knew that injuries like this were part of his job and he probably wouldn’t want you to be worrying about him so much. But there was no time to waste crying in your apartment, so you put a pair of sneakers on, grabbed your apartment keys and your phone and headed out the door to meet Sam downstairs. When you got into Sam’s car, he frowned at the look on your face. He felt bad that hearing what had happened to Bucky had made you feel so distraught.

As he started up his car again, he turned to you, “Hey, he’s going to be okay. Bucky’s been through much worse in the past and plus he’s got that super soldier serum in his veins to make him heal faster than either of us ever could.” Sam assured you, his joke about the super soldier serum making you chuckle a little.

———————————

Upon arriving at Bucky’s apartment building, Sam led the way up to Bucky’s apartment. He unlocked the door for you and let you in. But before he left, he said one more thing to you, “If either of you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me. Okay?” he said, his eyebrows raising a little bit. You nodded and briefly tapped his shoulder twice with your hand, “I will. Thanks, Sam.” you replied, a soft smile on your face. He nodded back at you in response and you headed into Bucky’s apartment, closing and locking the door behind you.

You walked into what you assumed was his bedroom because it was the only room with any light in it. You slowly approached his bedside, Bucky was asleep and that Dr. Banner guy Sam had mentioned was gone so you assumed that everything was okay now.

You frowned as you looked down at him but you couldn’t bear to be apart from him any longer so you slipped your shoes off, turned the lamp next to him off and got under the covers with Bucky. Underneath the blanket, his shirt had rode up a little, revealing to you the stitches in the moonlight coming in through his curtains. Which caused your hands to get shaky again, but you assured yourself that he would be okay.

You didn’t want to wake him up after all he and his body had just gone through on that mission. So you just placed a light kiss on his cheek and went to sleep next to him.

———————————

The following morning, Bucky woke you up after he had turned over and saw you sleeping in his bed. He softly stroked your cheek with his thumb while he quietly spoke your name, “(y/n).” he said, repeating your name a few more times until you woke up. And when you did, you sat up in his bed right away, taking his face in your hands and pressing a bruising kiss to his lips. “I’m so glad you’re okay. How are you feeling?” you asked him, a somewhat frantic tone to your voice.

He calmed you by slowly removing your hands from his face, placing his hands on your face instead and moving your head down a little so that you were looking directly into his eyes. “I’m alright, doll. You don’t have to worry about me.” he answered with a soft smile, causing you to let out a deep breath. And as you spoke again, he started to stroke one of your cheeks with his thumb, “I just got so worried that I’d lose you, Bucky. I’m glad that you came back to me.” you explained, giving Bucky the need to slowly pull you into lap, still being careful with his stitches.

He smiled a little at the last sentence of your statement, “Me too. But you’ll never lose me, (y/n). I’ll always come back to you, as long as you’ll have me.” he assured you, his hand gently rubbing your back as you loosely wrapped your arms around his neck. “I’ll always want you around, Bucky. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” you made known to him as your arms tightened around him and you started to hug him, Bucky’s rubbing on your back never stopping as you spoke to him and he eventually hugged you back.

He laughed at your theatrics, causing you to laugh with him. You then removed your head from where it was tucked next to his when you were hugging him and you looked into his eyes again, “I know we still haven’t known each other for that long. But after what happened to you, I can’t go on without saying this to you, even if you don’t say it back. I love you so, so much, Bucky. I need you to know that.” you confidently told him, mentally hoping that he would say it back and you hadn’t just made yourself look stupid.

Tears started to prick Bucky’s eyes when you said those special words to him. He then wrapped his arms around your ribs and pulled you even closer to him. “And I love you, doll. I have since the day we met, I swear.” he made known, making you tear up as well. You then pressed another kiss to his lips before resting your forehead against his own, “Be my girl, (y/n). Please.” he begged, desperately wanting to call you his and have you call him yours.

“I already am.” you told him with another kiss to his cheek, prompting Bucky’s arms to reclaim their spot around your waist and pull you on top of him, making you yelp. “Bucky!” you scolded, nervous that all of this movement would rip his stitches open. He chuckled at this nervousness, knowing that he was probably almost entirely healed because of the serum. “I’m alright. You don’t need to worry about my stitches, sweetheart.” Bucky said, comforting you and making your worries disappear once more. “Okay, whatever you say.” you replied, dragging out that last word, causing Bucky to let out another laugh.

God, he was so in love with you.

NAVIGATION

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[nostarfights]

What You Don't Know

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky are sent to find Joaquin, causing you to finally get to know each other in the process.

Warnings: Mentions of violence, the readers traumatizing past, guns, reader getting attacked, cuddling, kissing, reader is 26 and Bucky is 32, a few uses of y/n, this is a tlou au (note: I’m going off of when the outbreak hit in the show).

Word Count: 3.2K

a/n: this is based on a similar oneshot i wrote a couple years ago.

the gif below does not belong to me

Early one cold winter morning in Jackson, you were awoken by the sound of Natasha knocking on your front door, prompting you to run down the stairs in your mostly awake state. She had come to let you know that Sam wanted to see you and Bucky in his office in thirty minutes. You then got dressed and slipped the strap of your gun over your shoulder, preparing for your patrol shift with Bucky later that morning.

Almost immediately upon exiting your house, you made eye contact with Bucky, his own home directly across the street. You walked over to the sidewalk in front of his house and silently started to walk next to him, side by side. You barely made eye contact with him at all after that first look when you had stepped out onto your porch just minutes ago, your eyes never leaving the path in front of you. 

You’ve always been quiet and reserved because of your past, you felt like you couldn’t trust anyone anymore and that way if you were quiet, you were more likely to be left alone. And ever since your arrival in Jackson one year ago, Bucky had wanted to ask you about why you distanced yourself from everyone else but he knew that with how the world is now, it was very likely that it was because of something that happened before you got to Jackson. Which he understood, never being too keen to talk about his own past so he left that topic alone. 

Not long after you and Bucky had left your homes, you arrived at Sam’s office. He motioned for the two of you to come in and sit down, wanting to immediately get into what he had wanted to talk to you about. “I’m sending you on a mission to Riverton to find a friend of mine, Joaquin. He went missing a little over a year ago. I want you to leave tomorrow morning at sunrise and if you can’t find him in two weeks then just come back.” Sam said, handing you a photo of Joaquin as he spoke.

“Got it.” Bucky simply said with a nod of his head, speaking for the two of you since he knew how you liked being quiet. “Thanks guys.” Sam replied as you left his office and went to start your patrol shift, a hint of sadness in his voice at the thought of Joaquin possibly being dead. 

—------------------------------------------

The time was 5am the following morning when you got ready for the day, started to pack a bag for the trip before the sun rose and you went to meet Bucky at the main gates of Jackson. Your mind was almost empty as you packed, the only thought filling it was one about the fact that you were going to be alone with Bucky for two weeks. You’d be forced to get to know each other, you wouldn’t be able to get through the trip without talking after all.

Bucky seemed like a nice guy but the thought of letting anyone in terrified you, you hadn’t let yourself get close to anyone since before the outbreak hit. You wanted to open up to Bucky, to trust him but it was as if your past was holding you back. You couldn’t bear the idea of getting close to anyone and possibly losing them. Never again.

Your mind became calm again as you slipped on your coat, gun and bag by your front door before heading out. You hated when thoughts of your past came rushing back, it just reminded you of how much was taken from you that fateful day. You then quickly walked down the street that led to the gates, not wanting to be late. As you got closer to the gates, you could now see Bucky standing there with his own bag strapped onto him while he stood in between your horse and his own. 

“Hey.” Bucky said to you once you were close enough, a soft smile on his face as he held your horse’s reins and you got on its back. “Hi.” you quietly replied, only briefly looking into his brown eyes. As he got on his own horse and the sun began to rise, you started to feel a little better about this trip. “Maybe getting to know Bucky wouldn’t be so bad?” you thought whilst you headed down the path Sam had instructed you to follow to get to Riverton, no more words being exchanged between you and him.

For as long as you’ve been in Jackson, Bucky has had feelings for you. From the moment you stepped into one of Sam’s community parties for the first time and he welcomed you in front of everyone, he felt as if he’d experienced love at first sight. Which was something he once thought to be a myth, especially in these times. He’d tried to talk to you many times over the past year but you only ever gave him quiet, short answers so he ended up going to Sam about it.

“She’s still adjusting, Buck. Just give her some time, she’ll talk to you more when she’s ready.” he remembered Sam saying. But 365 days later, that time never came and you still kept to yourself. Bucky just hoped that this mission would give both of you the excuse to talk more, actually get to know each other and maybe even become friends. That’s all Bucky wanted, to be in your life in some way. 

Meanwhile as the two of you continued on this path, you started to think about Bucky again and the multiple times he’d tried to talk to you and make you feel more welcome in Jackson. Most people just left you alone due to your seemingly cold demeanor, which you appreciated, but he just kept trying. He’d never noticed it but these small interactions between you and him had caused you to start to fall for him. But still, you wished that you weren’t so controlled and held back by your past so that you could actually open up to him and the two of you could become closer. 

—------------------------------------------

10 hours had passed since you and Bucky started your journey so you decided to stop for the night. You set up camp in the middle of the woods where you were both sure you’d be safe, draping blankets over your horses to make sure that they wouldn’t freeze to death while Bucky started a fire. And once you were settled, you quickly pulled out two sandwiches and tossed one to Bucky now that he was settled on his own sleeping bag across from you. “Thanks.” he said, another soft smile on his face, causing goosebumps to appear on your arms as he looked into your eyes. 

You both ate in silence for a few minutes before Bucky spoke up, “Why do you always keep to yourself? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, I understand if you don’t want to talk about it.” He sheepishly asked as he briefly looked down at his lap. For the first time in ten years, you took this chance to be vulnerable with someone. You didn’t know what it was about Bucky but the more time you spent with him the more you felt like you could trust him. You knew you were safe with him. So you mentally hit “fuck it” and decided to tell Bucky about your past.

“I was 16 when the outbreak hit and my parents and almost everyone in my neighborhood became one of the first groups of people to get infected so I had no choice but to go out on my own. I’d been completely alone for nine years until I found Jackson last year and Sam welcomed me in after I explained my situation. I barely talk because I’m afraid that if I get close to someone that they’re either going to be taken from me or betray me. In a way, it’s what’s helped me survive for so long.” you explained, letting out a quiet sigh once you were done speaking. 

Bucky’s eyes widened a little as he processed everything you just told him. It saddened him to know that you had been so young when the outbreak hit and alone for so long. “I understand, I didn’t let anyone in for a year or two after I joined Jackson. I guess I just wanted to make sure that there wasn’t anyone making you feel like you don’t belong in Jackson.” he said with another soft smile, causing a soft smile of your own to appear on your face.

And now that you felt like you could trust Bucky, conversation seemed to flow more easily between the two of you. 

—------------------------------------------

Ten Days Later

You and Bucky had finally arrived in Riverton a few hours ago and were now searching a building in the large city where Joaquin was supposed to go when he was here. It’s dead silent, not a word is said between you two as you slowly walk around the building, when you suddenly heard groaning noises coming from nearby. Bucky’s in front of you as you walked around, pistol in hand and your flashlight leading the way as you tried to figure out where the sound was coming from. For a few moments, it seemed as if the infected was getting farther away when it abruptly came up from behind, grabbed you and pulled you down to the ground with it. 

“Bucky!” you screamed out as your body hit the ground, prompting Bucky to spring into action almost immediately. As the infected opened its mouth and inched closer to your shoulder, a shot rang out and it fully collapsed onto the ground below you.

You finally noticed the way your heart was pounding as Bucky helped you get back onto your feet, your breathing a little faster as well as you started to space out in the direction of the now dead infected. “You okay?” Bucky asked, a look of concern in his eyes. You nodded as you started to speak, “Yeah, I’m just a little shaken up. I haven’t been attacked in years.” you told him, easing some of his worries.

But before Bucky could reply, you noticed something, the flannel shirt the infected was wearing looked a lot like the one Joaquin was wearing in the photo Sam had given you. “Isn’t that the shirt Joaquin was wearing in the photo Sam gave us?” you asked, wanting to confirm your suspicions. Bucky then took the photo out of his pocket and held it up, “Yeah, I think so.” he replied, causing a frown to appear on your face.

How were you going to tell Sam about this? How were you going to tell him that his best friend was dead?

You then bent down and ripped a part of his shirt off, you and Bucky may have not been able to find Joaquin before it was too late but the least you could do was give a part of Joaquin back to Sam. That way a part of Joaquin would always be with him. You wished you could have brought him back so that he could be buried in the Jackson cemetery but neither of you had brought the correct supplies, not expecting to find Joaquin in this state. Bucky picked Joaquin and you followed, burying him together beneath a large tree that was atop a nearby hill before starting to head back to Jackson. 

Your fingers brushed up against Bucky’s as you walked back to where you had left your horses in a nearby building. In an effort to make you feel better after the attack, Bucky grabbed your hand, giving it a tight squeeze as you reached your horses, causing your cheeks to blush. 

—------------------------------------------

3 am

Hours had passed, it was now the middle of the night and the once roaring fire that Bucky started had gone out. You were violently shivering in your sleeping bag, unable to sleep no matter how hard you tried and your coat was no help at all. The sound of your sleeping bag somewhat loudly rustling soon awoke Bucky from a deep sleep, making you feel bad for accidentally being so loud.

“What’s going on?” he asked, thinking that someone might have been sneaking up on you in his half-asleep state. “Nothing, Bucky. Everything’s fine, just go back to sleep.” you replied, your teeth chattering, the sound of this alone causing Bucky to fully wake up. 

“You’re shivering. Let me hold you until you warm up.” he quickly offered as he started to get out of his sleeping bag. “No, I’m fine. Let’s just go back to sleep.” you said, looking over at him as your teeth began to chatter even more than they already were. “C’mon (y/n), you’re gonna freeze to death.” Bucky begged, a stern tone to his voice. You nodded a little, “Fine.” you replied, not wanting to die like this. 

In a couple blinks of your cold eyelids, Bucky got up and started to lay down behind you, his arm draping over your body as he got settled, causing you to warm up almost immediately due to the heat practically radiating off of him. But even so, you still couldn’t fall asleep. The feeling of his body against yours had both of your hearts pounding hard against your ribs while goosebumps reappeared on your arms, for a different reason this time. You both stayed silent for a while, trying your hardest to get to sleep but it was no use, you couldn’t ignore the feelings coursing through you. 

You turned around in his arms, your face now inches away from the face belonging to the man you had fallen in love with over the past year as you gazed into his eyes. “Buck-.” you quietly said while Bucky cut you off as his lips met yours in a soft kiss and he started to hold your face in his warm, calloused hands. He so desperately wanted to kiss you harder, to slip one of his arm’s underneath you and pull your body even closer to his but he didn’t want to overwhelm you so he held himself back, for now. 

Before you could get another word out, Bucky spoke, “I love you, doll. I can’t hide it anymore.” he told you as looked into your eyes, making you feel as if your body was on fire. “I love you too.” you replied, realizing that he was the first person you let yourself love in ten years. It felt good, it felt freeing even. 

You then kissed him again, letting the fear of what could happen if you became close to someone finally leave your mind for good. You were both safe, nothing bad was going to happen as long as you had Bucky by your side. And time and time again he made sure over the course of this journey he made sure you knew that he would always be there for you.

As for the rest of the night, you and Bucky finally had a nightmare free night for the first time in years as you peacefully slept, your head resting on his chest while he held you. 

—------------------------------------------

Almost a Week Later

Your journey had finally come to an end and you and Bucky arrived back in Jackson, both you and your horses thankful that you no longer had to sleep on the cold forest floor. And once your horses were safely back in the stable, it was now time to tell Sam what had happened, Joaquin’s shirt feeling like lead in your pocket. You took a deep breath then stepped into Sam’s office with Bucky. 

“Hey! How’d it go?” Sam asked, hopeful at first but his smile dropped once he saw that Joaquin wasn’t with you and Bucky.

“We found Joaquin, but it was too late, he had been bit and Bucky had to kill him. I’m so sorry, Sam. We weren’t able to bring him back but I was able to save this.” You said as you handed Sam the part of Joaquin’s shirt you’d ripped off and the photo of him. He took them from you and sadly looked down at them, “Thanks. I’d uh like to be left alone for a little while. If you don't mind.” he replied, still staring at the fabric. 

“We’re here for you if you need us, Sam.” Bucky said as he grabbed your hand and you began to walk out of Sam’s office.

Once the two of you were back outside minutes later, Bucky led you over to a nearby tree and gave your hand a gentle squeeze as he looked into eyes once more. “Meet me at the Tipsy Bison tonight at 8.” he whispered into your ear before heading off in the bar's direction, prompting your heartbeat to speed up as you became excited for what he had planned. 

—------------------------------------------

8 pm

Your heart pounded for what felt like the millionth time since you initially left for Riverton a couple weeks ago while you walked up to the Tipsy Bison. Your hair and makeup were simple, due to your limited resources, and you were wearing a dress one of the women in town had given you last summer after finding out that you didn’t own one.

You took a deep breath in an attempt to calm your nerves as you stepped into the bar, finding it completely empty except for a single table set for two and Bucky standing next to it, wearing a black button up shirt and dress pants and a rose in hand. He looked so handsome, breathtakingly so. 

The brightest smile Bucky’s ever seen on your face easily appeared as you walked up to him. You looked gorgeous, even more than you did that night he had first set his eyes on you, if that was even possible.

He softly kissed you, making you feel as if your heart had flipped in your chest, “You look beautiful, doll.” he quietly told you, making your cheeks blush once more. “Thank you.” you quietly replied as Bucky’s eyes seemed to sparkle in the candlelight. He then pulled your chair out for you and stood behind you as you sat down and he pushed it in before taking his own seat. 

He’d planned on asking you to be his at the end of the date but he just couldn’t bear to wait another second. “Doll, will you please be my girl? You’re all I want, I just want to make you happy.” he asked, not long after he had sat down. This question shocked you, you were expecting it at some point tonight but not this soon. But nevertheless, you accepted, “Yes.” you answered, prompting Bucky to immediately stand up and walk over to your seat as you stood up so that he could kiss you, harder this time.

“I love you so much, doll. You have no idea.” he muttered in between kisses while you started to get butterflies. “I love you more.” you told him as you threaded your fingers through his hair and tugged, causing him to groan into your mouth. “Not yet, doll.” he said as he pulled away and motioned for you to sit again, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.

And for once in ten years as you sat across from him, you felt truly safe and loved, like you could let your guard down. All because of Bucky. 

NAVIGATION

send me a request!

[nostarfights]

Gabriel Luna as Tommy Miller THE LAST OF US 2.02 "Through the Valley"

[nostarfights]

“give sarah my love”

[nostarfights]

it’s been a week since s2e2 of the last of us aired

[nostarfights]

"What remains of us"

outbreak! Joel miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel doesn't die after the brutal encounter with abby because you saved him on time.

wc: 4k>

warnings: angst,mentions of blood, mentions of murder (reader becomes violent), fluff, mentions of broken bones. english is not my first language so excuse my mistakes. Written in a rush.

a/n: so uhmm. How are we feeling? I personally feel broken by the events from episode 2 so I rewrite the story while i was free in the morning to help me cope with the grief and joel is alive.

dividers by @/saradika-graphics

Something felt wrong in your bones the moment the snowstorm hit harder than expected.

Not just the kind of wrong that came with whiteout conditions and freezing wind — this was deeper. Ancient. It whispered through the trees like a secret from another world, brushing icy fingers down your spine. A warning dressed up as weather. You felt it in your chest, in the weight behind your ribs, where your breath stayed too long before escaping.

Your skin burned from cold, your limbs throbbed with fatigue — but none of it compared to the way your heart pounded. Not from exertion.

From fear.

“Hey, you alright?” Jesse called ahead, pulling his scarf down just enough to glance at you.

You nodded too fast. “Yeah, just—cold.”

Ellie was further up the ridge, carving her own path through the deepening snow with the horse, unaware of how your whole body shook with more than frost. You hadn’t told them. Couldn’t. How do you explain that your body knew something your mind hadn’t caught up to yet? That every step forward felt like walking away from safety?

Your heart was screaming in a language older than logic. Since the morning. Since Joel left before you could fully wake up.

The echo of his voice still lingered in your memory — low and warm, brushing against your ear as you stirred under the covers.

“Get some more sleep, darling”

But he hadn’t kissed your forehead like usual. He hadn’t lingered. And when you finally did get up, your gut twisted when you saw the empty space in the stable, the saddle still had damp with snow.

Joel was out there with Dina; you had no idea under what circumstances. And the sky had turned gray with anger.

You shook your head, tried to focus on Jesse’s voice. Tried not to feed the panic unraveling in your chest like a pulled thread. But the cold in your mind spread, and no matter how tightly you gripped the reins, no matter how fast your horse moved, the feeling remained.

Something was wrong.

You finally found a rundown outpost, an old hunting cabin half-buried in snow and swallowed by pine trees. The roof sagged, one of the windows was cracked, and the door barely held on its hinges, but it was shelter. You and Jesse pulled your horses inside the narrow lean-to out back, while Ellie stomped snow off her shoes and kicked the door open with more force than necessary.

Inside, it was cold and smelled like old weed and damp rot, but you didn’t care.

There was a radio.

You didn’t hesitate. Your gloves were off before Jesse could even say anything. Your fingers moved over the knobs, turning dials, trying to find the frequency Jackson always used for patrol check-ins.

A burst of static.

Then another.

Finally, a signal.

Your breath caught. “Jackson patrol, do you copy?”

Ellie moved closer. Jesse pulled his scarf down, suddenly silent.

“Joel? Dina? Come in.”

Only static.

“Come on,” you muttered, heart hammering, twisting the dial again. “Joel, please, respond.”

Nothing.

The silence wasn’t ordinary. You knew silence. This wasn’t delay. It was absence.

Your body went rigid, every instinct screaming louder than your racing thoughts. Your limbs moved before you made the decision. You were out the door and into the snow again before Jesse or Ellie could stop you.

Jesse called after you.

But Ellie was already grabbing her rifle.

“Where are you going?” Jesse yelled, chasing behind.

“Something’s wrong!” you snapped, swinging onto your horse. “I just know it!”

Ellie mounted up beside you, eyes wide and fierce. “Then we’re not wasting time.”

Jesse hesitated, glancing between you both and the radio inside.

“You don’t even know if that’s where they went—”

“I know,” you growled, already riding. “I feel it.”

Ellie followed without a word.

The snow clawed at your skin like it wanted to peel the truth away. The wind howled as if it knew what was waiting ahead. But you didn’t stop.

Because something had happened.

And Joel and Dina were out there.

You and Ellie rode hard, the snow whipping across your faces like knives, the hooves of your horses lost beneath the storm. You could barely see five feet ahead — but then, in the distance, a glow.

“Shit,” Ellie hissed beside you, pulling her hood lower.

You followed her gaze. Through the trees, past the slope of the hill — firelight. Orange, flickering, wrong. It wasn't from a patrol cabin or torch post. It rose in a bloom, too wild to be controlled. You slowed your horse as your stomach dropped.

“It’s from Jackson,” you whispered, more to yourself than to Ellie.

It wasn’t the whole town, not yet. But something was burning. And it was enough to send a coil of panic twisting through your gut, feeding that same deep certainty that had been clawing at you all day.

“Come on,” you growled, spurring your horse harder, cutting off the cold fear before it could settle. “We are too far.”

And it wasn’t long before you saw it, the lodge.

It sat crooked and hunched near a clearing, like it had been dropped there by accident. One of the side windows was shattered. Smoke was seeping through cracks in the boarded upper floor. The front door hung ajar, barely moving in the wind.

You pulled hard on the reins. Your horse bucked a little, skidding in the snow. Ellie drew her rifle and slid off hers.

Your eyes locked on two shapes near the side of the lodge.

Horses.

Your heart stopped.

Joel’s and Dina’s.

Both were tied loosely, their coats soaked with snow, hooves pawing nervously at the ground. Alone. No movement near the front entrance. No voices. No patrols. No sounds but the wind and the creak of the old building groaning under weight it wasn’t meant to bear.

You slid off your horse.

“Ellie…” you whispered, your voice barely audible, breath clouding in front of you.

She already had her knife out.

“Oh shit...”

You didn’t wait for backup. Couldn’t.

Because Joel’s horse was here. And he wasn’t.

And whatever was inside that building, you felt it—It was about to break you open.

The sound of screams of agony and a body hitting the ground echoed down the hallway like a gunshot.

You knew that sound. It was torture. It was pain.

Your boots thundered down the corridor of the lodge, Ellie at your side, a worry and desperate look in her eyes. She’d followed the path like a wolf hunting a pray, her eyes screaming please don’t let it be too late.

You didn’t say a word. Couldn’t. Your heart was stuck in your throat, and the only thing that moved was your body, in fast motion, furious, drawn to the man who should have never left your side in the first place.

Then you saw it. The door, a from inside, screaming slipping from the lips you used to kiss every day. Joel’s screams.

You didn’t wait. You didn’t breathe. You kicked the door open and your world shattered.

Joel was on the floor, a mess of blood and pain and something worse. His legs bent at unnatural angles. One hand barely raised in instinct. His face, bruised, bleeding, one eye swollen shut. His body twitched like it wasn’t sure if it should keep trying.

And above him, a woman. Blonde. Rage carved into her face like she’d practiced it. Her arms raised again, a golf club in her grip, stained red.

She didn’t see you at first. Her eyes were solely focus on Joel, but you weren’t having that.

You roared, not screamed, roared and tackled her with everything you had, all your weight, all your fury. You slammed her into the wall with a force that cracked wood. The club dropped from her hand and hit the ground.

“No more.” you growled.

Her people came fast, like shadows. One tackled Ellie to the ground. Another raised a knife.

But they hadn’t counted on you.

You were already moving, eyes wild, mind gone. You fought like someone who had nothing left but him.

You weren’t skilled like Joel. You didn’t need to be. You were desperate. Right now, you were desperate.

Fists cracked bone. You took hits but didn’t stop. Didn’t feel them. You were pulling someone off Ellie, dragging them by their collar, throwing them into a chair that splintered on impact. You used what you had — a piece of wood, a broken lamp, your fists, your fury.

And they couldn’t stop you. Because you couldn’t be stopped.

The blonde tried to rise again. You met her halfway and slammed her back to the floor. She spat blood. You didn’t flinch.

“Get away from him!” you screamed.

The crack of your shotgun echoed like thunder as the first shell slammed into one of the men flanking her. Blood hit the wall. Chaos exploded in every direction.

“Who the fuck—?!” Abby turned, fury and shock colliding in her face.

You dropped the shotgun, drew your blade, and charged.

The first one that tried to reached for you got a knife through the ribs. You shoved him off like he was made of paper. The next came at you with a bat, you caught the swing and used his momentum to slam him face-first into the fireplace bricks.

“You don’t get to touch him,” you hissed. “Not him.”

Abby swung the club toward your face. You ducked.

Then you hit her. Right in the gut. The force of it sent her staggering back, wind knocked from her lungs.

“You wanna kill him?” you growled. “Try me first!”

She looked at you like she wanted to, but she hesitated.

And that was her mistake.

Because Ellie broke free just long enough to grab your dropped shotgun and aim it at her. “Step back,” she spat, blood in her teeth, voice shaking but solid.

“Now.”

Abby looked between the two of you. At Joel — bleeding, still breathing — at her fallen group. Then she backed off, raising her hands slightly.

“This isn’t over,” she said.

“Yeah,” you snapped, “it is.” You said, pointing your gun right between her brows.

Your shotgun echoed in the stillness of the room.

The blast slammed into her chest, and her body jerked back like a puppet with its strings cut. She hit the floor; eyes wide. No final words. No redemption. Just silence.

Ellie flinched.

You stood over Abby’s body, breath hitching, heart pounding in your ears. The room reek of blood and then there was silence, except for Joel’s ragged breath.

You dropped beside as your knees had finally given out.

“Hey,” you whispered, your voice cracking into pieces. “Joel, look at me. I’m here. I got you.”

His one good eye fluttered open, dazed, unfocused. There was blood crusted at his brow, dried and fresh, a cruel mask across the face you’d kissed so many times before.

“Y-you---"he rasped, voice like torn gravel.

You nodded, cradling his face in your hands, not caring that blood smeared across your palms. “I’m here. You’re safe. Don’t you dare go anywhere.”

His breath stuttered, chest rising too slow, too shallow. His eyes couldn’t stay fixed on you. They wandered, like he wasn’t fully in the room anymore.

“I thought I lost you,” you whispered, leaning close. Your forehead rested against his, warm against cold.

“Hurts,” he mumbled, eyes slipping closed again.

“No, no,” you said quickly, your hands gently patting his face. “Stay with me. I’ve got you. You’re gonna be okay. Help’s coming, okay? Just—just hold on.”

But he didn’t answer. His breathing slowed.

Your heart lurched in panic. “Joel!”

Nothing.

You pressed your fingers to his pulse—still there, but faint.

“Don’t you do this,” you choked out. “You fight, dammit. You’ve been through worse, haven’t you? Don’t you leave me now.”

You’d already faced your worst nightmare. Now you were living in it, holding it in your arms.

Joel lay limp and broken on the floor, his breath rattling against the stillness. His face was swollen and unrecognizable on one side, purple and black with bruising. One eye swollen shut. Blood trickled from his nose, his mouth, the side of his head. His legs—

Don’t think about the legs. Not now.

“Hey,” you whispered again, voice hoarse. “Joel. You still with me?”

A faint groan. Barely audible.

But it was enough.

He was still here.

You pulled off your jacket and shoved it under his head. Your hands were shaking, but your mind was locked in: every first aid trick you’d learned from scraps of survival guides, emergency manuals, anything Joel had ever shown you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. You had paid attention.

You just never thought you’d be using it on him.

Dina stumbled in, still pale and groggy, her hand gripping the wall. “Ellie?” she rasped. “Wh—what the fuck happened…?”

You didn’t look up. “You were drugged. Ellie is moving the bodies. We need the space.”

Dina staggered past, gagging at the sight of blood, but she didn’t hesitate. She knew. The air had changed.

This was a war zone. A zone you had built in seconds because you didn’t know what else to do. You blinded yourself; you had become a murderer monster just to save Joel.

You pulled Joel’s shirt open — shredded, stained with red. Purple splotches across his ribs. Swelling. At least two broken.

Your voice cracked. “You’re gonna hate me for this, Joel. But I have to move you.”

“Don’t…” he mumbled, almost unconscious. “Just… leave me—”

“Shut up,” you said, fierce now, your tears splashing onto his collarbone. “Don’t you dare say that. You don’t get to give up.”

Ellie appeared, face pale, blood on her shirt, Dina behind her with a blanket and an old mattress from the back.

“We cleared the room,” Ellie said. “It’s just us now.”

“Good,” you said. “Help me splint his legs. We need to keep him still until we can get him out of here.”

You tore up a curtain and grabbed two broken chair legs. It wasn’t perfect, but nothing about this was. Ellie held Joel’s leg as steady as she could, while you worked the makeshift splint around the worst of the fractures.

Joel screamed.

It was guttural, raw as if he was being dragged through hell.

You didn’t flinch. “I know,” you whispered, pressing your forehead to his as you tied the cloth tight. “I know, I know, I’m sorry. I’ve got you.”

You felt his breath against your skin, shallow and hot.

His lips moved. “Why?” he whispered.

You leaned back and looked at him. “Because I love you,” you said simply.

His eye fluttered open — just barely. And for one fragile second, the pain slipped away. There was only you and you brush the hair from Joel’s face. He was burning up. You needed to clean the wounds. Stop the bleeding. Keep him warm.

Keep him alive.

And somehow, by the grace of whatever broken god still watched over you all, you would.

You pressed a damp cloth to his temple where skin had split beneath Abby’s final blow. His blood soaked through instantly. You didn’t stop. You couldn’t.

Your hands moved on their own now. Wash. Compress. Tie. Splint. Whisper to him. Stay with me. Please stay with me.

Ellie and Dina had gone quiet. Standing behind you. Watching. Waiting for direction.

Then your voice broke through the stillness.

“Go back to Jackson.”

Ellie flinched, like she hadn’t expected you to speak.

You didn’t look up. You were holding Joel’s hand — limp and calloused in yours.

“We need help,” you said, barely audible. Your voice was shot. A raw whisper. “Tell Tommy… tell him to send help. We need to get Joel back there.”

Silence. Just the sound of Joel breathing. The sound of blood dripping from the club Abby left behind.

“Please,” you added, and that word cracked like bone. “Please. I can’t carry him by myself. He’s—he’s too heavy. He’s—”

You swallowed hard. Your fingers curled tighter around Joel’s hand.

Ellie stepped forward. “We’re not leaving you.”

You finally looked up, eyes glassy and red-rimmed. “You have to. We need a stretcher, a team. Horses. Anything. I can keep him alive for a few more hours. But I can’t move him like this.”

Ellie’s jaw clenched. Her knuckles went white. “I don’t want to leave you with him like this.”

You reached out, brushing Joel’s graying hair from his brow with trembling fingers. “I’ve got him.”

A pause.

Then Dina touched Ellie’s arm. “I’ll go,” she said gently. “I’ll ride. I’m faster. You stay.”

Ellie nodded, eyes not leaving yours.

You left a loud gasp “No,” you said quietly, lifting your eyes once more to Ellie’s. “Ellie… you go with Dina. I’ll stay here.”

Ellie’s shoulders stiffened. Her brows pulled together like she was bracing for another blow. “What? No. I’m not leaving you and him.”

You sat back on your knees, your hands bloodied, trembling. Joel’s chest rose and fell in shallow, ragged motions beneath you.

“You have to,” you said, your voice breaking. “You have to, Ellie. Dina shouldn’t be riding alone.”

Ellie looked at Joel. Looked at you. And shook her head. “I can’t leave him like this. I can’t.”

You grabbed her hand.

That startled her.

It startled you too.

But you held on, grounding her, pulling her attention back to your face. Your voice dropped to a whisper.

“Please,” you said. “Please. Help me save him.”

Ellie’s eyes filled. Not with tears — not yet — but with everything she couldn’t say. The guilt. The fury. The fear that maybe… it was too late.

But you looked at her like there was still something worth fighting for.

And Ellie, for the first time in what felt like forever, let herself believe it.

She swallowed hard. Nodded once.

“I’ll go.”

Your chest caved with relief. Joel let out a faint groan beneath you, and you turned back to him, brushing your thumb against his jaw.

“I’m here, baby,” you whispered. “I’m right here.”

Ellie hesitated at the doorway. “Will he be okay?” she asked before daring to step a foot outside the room.

You nodded, but it was instinct, automatic, hopeful, desperate. The truth lodged in your throat like a splinter you couldn’t spit out.

“I don’t know,” you said softly, voice trembling. “I—I need to stop the bleeding. His leg is bad. His ribs—fuck, I don’t know how much damage they did.” Your eyes flicked over Joel’s body again, breath catching at the way his chest rose unevenly. “But he’s breathing. And that’s something.”

Ellie stepped closer, still pale, still wide-eyed, her clothes soaked with blood—some hers, some not. “What do you need me to do?”

You looked up at her then, and for a split second, she looked like a kid again. Shaken. Haunted. But standing tall.

“Just go back to Jackson and bring help,” you said, your voice barely more than a breath.

Ellie’s eyes burned. She nodded once; jaw clenched. “Okay. Okay. Just hold on, please.”

You gave her one last look. “I’ll keep him breathing.”

She was gone the next second—boots pounding out the door, calling for Dina. You were left in the broken room, just you and Joel and the slow drip of blood on floorboards.

You pressed your hands to the worst of the wounds, breath shaking. “You hear that, Joel?” you whispered, pressing your forehead to his. “Help’s coming.”

He didn’t speak. But his fingers twitched again, slow, and curled around your wrist.

It wasn’t much but it meant he was still here.

That night felt heavy like wet ash. Outside, the snowstorm had died to a bitter hiss. The wind still screamed through cracks in the lodge, but inside, everything had gone quiet—except for the sound of Joel’s ragged breath and the low creak of floorboards every time you moved.

You’d done everything you could.

His legs were splinted crudely with a broken table leg and belts. His wounds were packed with gauze you tore from your own coat lining. You boiled snow over a fire in the next room just to clean the worst of the blood from his side. You weren’t a medic. But you were a woman in love. And that made you terrifying.

He’d faded in and out of consciousness, his lips murmuring your name between groans, sometimes not even sure it was real. You sat beside him, your back against the bloodstained wall, holding his hand in both of yours.

But then it went still.

You hadn’t realized how quiet it had gotten until the sound stopped completely.

“Joel?” you whispered, leaning close.

No answer.

You shook his shoulder, gently. Then harder. “Joel.”

Nothing. His head lolled to the side. His skin felt clammy beneath your palm.

Your breath broke in your throat. “No, no—please, no. Joel—” You cupped his cheeks. “You stay with me; do you hear me?”

Still nothing. And then a twitch.

His brow twitched. His lips parted, barely, and a broken whisper slipped out.

“…Sarah.”

The name came out like a breath lost in time. You froze. Your heart cracked open.

His eyes fluttered beneath closed lids, a flicker of life.

In his mind, it was Austin again.

The smell of smoke and gasoline in the air. Sirens in the distance. Sarah was laughing, running ahead of him, calling back over her shoulder: “Dad, come on!”

And he was smiling. Genuinely smiling. He could hear her. Feel her hand in his again. It was warm. Real.

He turned and they were on the couch. Watching a movie. She was leaning against him, head on his shoulder. He’d just said something dumb. She rolled her eyes. He didn’t want to blink—afraid it’d all vanish.

But then came the gunshot.

Her warmth gone. He spun. He screamed for her. And when he looked down—

You were there.

In the memory. Not Sarah. You. Covered in blood. Crying. Calling his name.

Joel, please. Please.

Your hands were glowing with firelight, trembling as they pressed against his chest.

He tried to reach for you. He couldn’t move. The world was slipping.

And then—your voice cut through the haze.

“Joel, please. Please don’t do this.”

His heart stuttered once. Then again. A sharp inhale tore through his chest as if he’d been drowning.

“Joel!”

He coughed, body shaking, and your hands caught him just in time.

You sobbed, half-laughing as you gripped his cheeks again. “You scared the shit out of me—oh my god” you sobbed.

He looked up at you, dazed, confused. Then his eyes cleared, just a little.

“You were crying…” he mumbled, lips cracked.

“Yeah,” you whispered, brushing your thumb beneath his eye. “Yeah, I was.”

He blinked slowly. “Stop...”

“I won’t,” you promised. “I’m here. I’m staying.”

And as the fire cracked quietly, Joel leaned ever so slightly into your palm, the pain pulling at him, but your voice anchoring him.

The night lingered like a wound that wouldn’t close.

You didn’t sleep.

Your body screamed for rest, but you stayed next to Joel—watching the way his chest rose and fell, slow and shallow, praying it wouldn’t stop again. Every time his breath caught or he groaned too hard, your stomach twisted into knots.

The lodge was cold. Blood had dried into the floorboards. The fire in the next room was too far away to warm either of you, and you didn’t dare move him to get closer.

So you pressed your body to his side gently, just enough to share warmth without causing him pain.

“Still with me?” you whispered.

His eyes fluttered open, sluggish and heavy. “Yeah…” His voice was more gravel than sound.

You breathed out a shaky laugh, your forehead resting lightly against his temple. “You’re stubborn as hell, y’know that?”

Joel let out a faint puff of breath—maybe a laugh, maybe a wince. “…Learned from the best.”

Your throat clenched. You reached for his hand again, interlocking your fingers with his—gingerly, so you wouldn’t brush the torn knuckles.

“I thought I lost you,” you whispered.

His eyes moved—slow, searching—until they landed on you again. Then he mumbled something you barely heard.

Silence settled like snow. You closed your eyes, listening to the wind groaning against the walls. Time stretched, only broken by Joel’s breath stuttering again.

Then—his fingers twitched around yours.

Then you whispered, “Joel?”

He made a sound.

“I love you.”

He didn’t answer right away. His eyes were glassy with pain. But then he squeezed your hand, and his voice came soft, barely a breath.

“I love you too.”

It felt like the first time he had told you those three words and that had broken you in the gentlest way.

You buried your face in his shoulder, careful of the bruises, and let yourself cry—not in panic, not in fear. But in overwhelming, soul-shaking relief. He was alive.

He was alive.

Joel woke to the soft hum of voices and some old machines. The scent of cleaner stung his nose before the light even reached his eyes.

His body was pain, muted but deep, like a dull echo in his bones. He tried to move, but something warm and heavy rested on his side.

Your head.

You were slumped in a chair beside him, your cheek pressed gently to his arm. Your fingers were laced with his, your grip loose with sleep but still holding on. Still there.

The light in the room was soft, filtering through the curtained window like morning fog. Outside, life stirred in Jackson. But here, it was quiet. Just the two of you.

Joel blinked slowly, his throat dry, the taste of cotton still on his tongue. His gaze drifted down to you. There was a crease between your brows even in rest. You looked exhausted. Pale. Eyes ringed with shadows.

But you were here.

He breathed your name, raw and hoarse.

You stirred at the sound, your head lifting slowly as if from the depths of a dream. Your eyes met his, still sleep-warm but wide with shock. Disbelief flickered, then relief so powerful it made your lips tremble.

“Joel…” you whispered, leaving a sob behind.

His smile was small. Barely there. “You didn’t leave.”

Your hand came up to cup his cheek. “Never,” you said. “You scared the hell out of me.”

He swallowed hard, his hand tightening weakly around yours. “How long?”

“Three weeks,” you said, voice shaking with the memory. “You were unconscious the first few days back. Fever wouldn’t break. They weren’t sure if you’d make it through the second night…”

He looked at you again, really looked. “And you sat here the whole damn time?”

You gave a soft, broken laugh. “Where else would I be?”

His good eye softened. “Didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

You leaned closer, resting your forehead to his. “You promised me once you wouldn’t leave me.”

He nodded faintly, his eyes closing for a moment as your breath mingled.

Your fingers brushed his temple, so gently, as if afraid he’d fade again like some half-formed dream. Joel’s skin was warm beneath your touch, warmer than it had been in days, and that alone nearly broke you all over again.

“It’s going to take time,” you whispered, your voice barely louder than the hum of the machines. “To heal. For everything.”

Joel didn’t say anything, but you felt the tremor in his breath.

You threaded your fingers more tightly with his. “But I’m not going anywhere. You hear me?” you said, firmer now, voice catching on the tears in your throat. “I’m not leaving your side. You will get sick of me.”

His lips parted like he wanted to argue, maybe even protest, but then he looked at you again. Really looked. The cut on his brow. The bruising on his cheekbone. The pain behind his eye, and beyond that, the softness that only came when it was just you.

“You shouldn’t have had to—”

“I had to,” you cut in, gently but unshakable. “Because I love you. Because I couldn’t lose you. And I won’t.” you paused to take a deep breath before continuing, “You and I will grow old together, and we will die peacefully in farm, together.”

Joel blinked. His hand tightened slightly in yours again, like the only strength he had left was meant for that one touch. His voice was barely a whisper when he said, “I don’t deserve you.”

You leaned in and kissed his forehead, bruised, stitched, healing. “You’re mine, Joel. And I’m yours. That’s not about deserving. That’s just how it is.”

Silence fell, heavy but not suffocating. The kind of silence where you could finally breathe again. Where you knew, he was going to live.

Joel let his head rest back into the pillow, the edge of a tear slipping from the corner of his eye.

“Okay,” he whispered, smiling at you.

You smiled through your tears, the kind that burned hot down your cheeks but carried no pain—only release. Relief. Love.

You shifted in the chair, reaching up to brush a bit of hair back from his forehead, careful not to touch where it was most tender. His skin warmed beneath your fingertips. Alive. He was alive. The reality of that still hadn’t fully settled in.

“I’m gonna be here when you wake up,” you promised, voice like a hush of wind through leaves. “Every morning. Every damn day if I have to. You focus on getting better.”

Joel's smile trembled, worn and crooked, but it was his. The first real smile you'd seen in so long it felt like a lifetime ago. His good eye drifted shut, but not before his fingers gave yours one more squeeze, like he couldn’t bear to let go even in sleep.

You watched him as his breathing evened out again, slow and steady, like the beat of a familiar song you never thought you’d hear again. The machines hummed softly beside him. The faint glow of a streetlamp outside filtered through the hospital window, painting golden lines across the bedsheets.

You rested your head by his side again, your cheek brushing his arm, eyes closing just for a moment. Not to sleep, but to hold the feeling. The warmth. The miracle.

He was still here.

And you would be, too. Always.

[nostarfights]

PEDRO PASCAL & BELLA RAMSEY The Last of Us Season 2

[nostarfights]

me the second i saw the golf clubs

[nostarfights]

just finished watching s2e2 of the last of us