#especially as i'm around family for two weeks and it's gonna be tough enough as is

[enchantedlandcoffee]

.

[soulsxng]

@desiderium-eden, @thewolfisawake | Relationships | Accepting!

"Huh? That's a little sudden. Where do I even start? There's so much that comes to mind..."

Amber gaze flicks toward the little Aifaen, sound asleep where he lay on top of JJ. He'd been watching something while Mimi played with his blocks, but eventually the little one had climbed up onto the couch, laying with his head on the center of JJ's chest, and conked right out.

Every once in a while, a little round ear, reminiscent of a bear cub's would flick with whatever Misne was dreaming about. Soft fuzz making JJ scrunch his chin to his chest to prevent the tickly feeling.

"You know, looking at how things are now, I almost can't believe that, two years ago, I didn't want kids at all. And even after Nia, I was only sort of thinking about it...now here we are. A few months, and I'll have had him for a year already. Time really flies."

"I get why I was scared, though. I still feel like I'm going to mess up, and I don't know what I'd do with myself if I do. I mean, look at him. He's always so happy and sweet. He relies on me, and I'm so terrified that I'm going to let him down. I was talking to my dad about it the other day, and he said that feeling only ever really gets worse. So I guess I'm in for a long ride. There's been a lot of hard stuff aside from that too, though."

"The first time he got sick, I don't think I slept for a whole week because even if I knew that he was fine again after three days, I was worried that it might come back or something. He's always goofing around, especially when Nia comes over to play, so he gets hurt quite a bit. Like when he was climbing a tree the other day-- ah, that's right! He's learning how to use his claws! He climbs stuff now, but then his arms get tired and he loses his grip and falls, and I always think he's gonna break his neck or something, one of the times I'm not quick enough to catch him! Like that day! A bird spooked him, and he fell like six feet! Luckily, he only got a little scraped up...he hardly even noticed it! Just got right back up and kept on playing with Essi!"

"He's a really tough little guy; I'm actually really surprised. The only time he really fusses much is when he wants attention. I guess it's probably because he did a lot of things pretty much by himself when he was in the Aifaen Plains..."

"He's learning to talk a lot better than before, too. I mean, he's technically like...I guess a 6 year old human, but when I first took him in, he'd spent a lot of time in his beast form, so he never really learned how to speak beyond...a two or three year old's level? Or something like that. I'm not an expert on child development or anything, so I couldn't say for sure. He's still a little bit skittish around new people, but if he thinks he can 'sneaky' over to check them out before he talks to them or anything, he's usually okay. He's a pretty good judge of character, so far."

"Let's see, what else! The last couple times we've gone to the river together so he could look at the fish, he's wanted to get in the water to jump at them, so I've been teaching him to swim, just in case. He's so good at it! I hardly had to teach him anything-- I just helped him keep above water at first, and told him how to move his legs and arms. It felt like he was doing it all by himself after just a few minutes!"

"Wait, wait, and then last week, I let him help me repaint his bedroom a little bit, and he got it all over in his hair somehow! We did hand prints on the wall together for all of his friends and family, and I had him do an extra little handprint next to one of mine on some paper, and I have it in a frame in my office; it's so cute...! And then--!"

[newtonsheffield]

So excited about the new Yours To Tame and Bruises chapters! Any spice from either of those this lovely Sunday? 😈

Ahhh let's see Kate and VampAnthony taking a bath.

Kate had never really thought of bathing as a sexy act before she'd been with Anthony. It had been a means to an end and in fact, when one of her ex had wiggled his eyebrows with his lips on her neck and said Wanna share a shower? She'd sighed and shrugged and said I'm kind running late for a class. But the first morning she'd woken up with Anthony on top of her, his body pressing her into the mattress something had felt different.

She'd chuckled as she'd caught Anthony's lips smiling against them. "You didn't turn to dust over night."

Anthony had groaned pulling her tighter against his chest. "You're soft. And that's a myth."

They'd stayed that way for a long moment, wrapped up together until Kate had finally sighed. "I'm gonna go for a shower and pop out for some coffee. You can stay if you like."

Anthony's head had shot up, his lips already nipping at her neck. "I can't come with you?"

"If you want you can, I won't be long in the shower."

He'd nuzzled at her again, chuckling as her heart hammered in her chest and hips bucked against his. "Or i could shower with you."

And she would have said no, normally she would have already brushed him off, especially after one night together but instead she'd found herself nodding against him, found herself gasping as his arms tightened around her and he darted through to the bathroom. She'd fallen apart with his warm body pressing her against the cool tile with her legs around his waist as the hot water beat down on them and there hadn't been any going back.

Anthony seemed to thrive on it. On the different textures of their skin under the water, in the soft way he would look at her afterwards, nuzzling against her neck gently, as though he was taking in her scent before he'd hold her under the water so gently.

And it didn't seem to embarrass him at all, the closeness he wanted to feel in these moments.

"I want to take a bath with you."

"Um- What?" Kate couldn't help but feel a little startled as they lay together on her sofa, her pencil moving over the sketchpad as she tried to capture his furrowed brow. "You want a shower?"

"No. I want a bath."

Kate clicked her tongue. "Tough luck buddy, I don't have one."

"I have a bath." Anthony rolled his eyes kissing her forehead, his fingertips trailing along her midriff. "A lovely bath big enough for two."

Kate's breath caught in her chest. "I've told you, we are not fucking where your mum can hear us. That woman terrifies me."

"The bedrooms and ensuites are soundproofed." his lips nipped at her neck. "It'll be nice."

"Why is this important to you?" Kate had chuckled shaking her head, and she hadn't expected Anthony's voice to be so serious.

"Our scents mingle in the water. You can't tell, I know you can't but when we're together like that, even in the shower, the water transfers my scent to your body and vice versa. It would be stronger in a bath."

There was something so oddly sweet in that, even though she knew from the distasteful way Anthony's siblings sniffed the air around her, even from the way Violet had sighed as they'd had tea last week Kate Darling, perhaps you've a jacket you could put on that Anthony's scent was already heavily on her skin. Something in the way he wanted everyone to know he was hers as much as she was his. Marking himself in the way she couldn't, and she hadn't been able to say no.

So here she was now, as was their Sunday routine, after dinner with his family, sitting in the warm water together until it cooled.

Anthony hadn't been lying, the bathtub in what he called an ensuite (It was nearly the size of Kate's entire flat) at his house was an enormous polished copper thing. Standing on clawed feet in the middle of the bathroom. Deep enough and long enough that Kate could sit completely submerged between Anthony's legs, his hands massaging her back gently.

A moan rose in Kate's throat as Anthony's lips fell to her neck, his tongue tracing the shape his teeth had left there.

"That feels nice."

Her voice was a little breathless, echoing around the room, in contrast to Anthony's deep growl. "It feels very nice."

"I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be a feminist when you're over 200."

Anthony chuckled, one of his arms wrapping around her waist, tugging her back tighter against his chest. "Oh I can assure you, this is exactly how I'm supposed to treat you."

His other hand trailed around the curve of her hip squeezing tightly before it trailed down, tickling over her thighs in the warm water.

The moan fell from her chest before she could stop it, echoing off the tile as his hand slipped between her legs.

Anthony!

He chuckled in her ear as his hand moved more instantly against her, his hips starting a slow grind behind her

Yes?

Already the heat of it was overwhelming, the presence of his firm body, solid behind her, his arms like vices as his hands groped and kneaded at her flesh, his teeth still nipping at her neck. From that very first night there had never been anything like this. Nothing like the slide of their bodies together and the way their hearts beat together, and every inch of her ached to be his forever.

Should I stop, Kate?

She shook her head, a desperate gasp torn from her throat as her hips bucked against his hand.

Say something Kate. Or I'll have to stop.

His voice was relentless in her ear, just like his hand between her legs and the own on her chest holding her in place as he forced pleasure from her body.

"Please don't stop. Please Anthony, please." It shuddered from her chest with a heave of her shoulders, her hips grinding in place against him, spine shivering as Anthony chuckled in her ear at her reaction to him.

He quickened his pace, his fingers moving relentlessly against her, into her, faster and faster until-

anthony!

Kate fell apart with a gasp, shuddering against Anthony, turning her head at the last moment, claiming his lips with hers to muffle the shout.

Kate took a shuddering breath, her entire body on fire in a way that had nothing to do with the heat of the water they were in. She raised herself up turning until she was straddling his waist, claiming Anthony's lips again, swallowing the moans that fell from his lips.

Fuck, Kate!

Anthony's eyes rolled back in his head as their bodies joined, both of them stilling for a long moment as they fought for control. Fought to hold on to this moment and all the ones to follow. A muscle clenched in Anthony's jaw as he breathed deeply, his fingers tightening on her waist as their eyes met and finally, they moved.

It felt relentless already, before that first snap of his hips was even done. He'd told her, how overwhelming their bond made sex for him. How he felt everything a hundred times more intensely than he ever had before and truly, it felt no different for her. She could feel his heart beating erratically under her fingers, smell the spicy scent of his cologne, feel his skin sliding against hers, feel the sweat building on his skin just like it was on hers.

The water was lapping at their skin with every movement, splashing to the floor all around them, the sound mingling with the gasps and moans and raw calls of their names until their was nothing left, nothing left but the way his eyes burned into hers and his fingers intertwined with his, as their hips ground together in the flickering candlelight.

The fire between them was building to an inferno raging higher and higher, tearing at her skin, burning her like the scar across Anthony's chest.

That's it Kate. God you look so fucking beautiful like this, Babe. Come on. You can let go, I'll catch you.

Kate fell apart with a sharp shout, tugging Anthony forward until he was nestled against her neck, his hips stuttering desperately until he fell apart with a shout, his teeth sinking into her neck and everything went still.

Anthony's eyes were glazed when he pulled back after a long moment, the way they always were when he fed from her like this. When he felt her pleasure along with his and it slowed his movements into something lazy and tender.

"You liked that."

Kate sighed, catching his lips with hers. "Yes, I liked that. I don't know why you're surprised. I always like that."

Anthony chuckled, nuzzling at her neck gently, with a soft kiss. "It's like a little round of applause. It's nice."

She couldn't help but laugh, kissing the end of his nose. "What do you think? Sufficiently scented?"

Anthony nodded, grinning smugly. "Yes. I'm suffiencietly scented."

And truly, Kate didn't feel embarrassed of the closeness either. Until that was, she sat in the Bridgerton's living room the next afternoon and Anthony's mother hummed.

"Anthony, Darling, I promise I do understand being newly mated is very... intoxicating but the maids have started to complain that the floor of your bathroom is like a swimming pool."

[marvelous-imagines]

Forever and always

Johnny Lawrence x larusso reader

Request: I’m watching cobra Kai and have fallen in love with Johnny! Could you maybe do a short post on Johnny liking Daniels sister and then they meet again in cobra Kai 😱

Warnings: mild language. Angst. Fluff

I can't find the person's account that requested this👉👈🥺💔

1984....

You and your family have just moved to California, now living in a small apartment complex where you and your brother are sharing a room, which was really a pain in the ass. Especially since Daniel didn't really seem keen on keeping his side tidy, it was annoying really. But you couldn't change it, no matter how bad you wanted to. But you could get out of the apartment for a while...

That's how you found yourself now, exploring the new territory with excitement. You've done been everywhere you'd thought, until you found the beach, that's where you were now. Barefoot as you walk on the beach, watching the ocean with a relaxed gaze.

Until a something hit you on the forehead, making you fall on your back with a yelp, pain instantly taking over your head. You had your eyes squeezed shut, a groan emitting from you.

"shit I think you knocked her out Johnny!" someone laughs, but you didn't care to open your eye's to see who.

"shut up asshole!" someone else says, that's when you felt someone crouched down beside you, hands gently grasping at your shoulders and giving you a gentle shake. Hand carefully pushing hair away from your now hurt forehead.

"hey, you alright?" the same voice said, you crack your eyes open and see two beautiful blue ones looking back at you with concern, his blond hair falling in front of his beautiful eyes as you feel the air being knocked from your lungs, heart skipping a beat as butterflies erupted in your belly.

This stranger was by far the most hottest stranger you've ever seen. He was handsome, beautiful, gorgeous.

"shit, can you hear me?" he asks, his voice bringing you out of your trance.

"y - yeah I'm fine - I'm okay" you stuttered out, trying to sit up, the handsome stranger helping you do so. "what the hell even happened?" you ask, watching how he let's a little smile sneak its way on his face.

"I threw my friends shoe away from him and it uh... Hit you in the face...he really hates sand..." he said trying not to laugh. You giggle a little, giving him a little grin.

"I'll have to admit, it's a little funny... But please watch where you throw stuff next time" you say with a chuckle.

"I can't make any promises sweetheart" he said, giving you a wink. You blushed, hating how handsome this man really was. His wink sending your heart into overdrive. "I'm Johnny Lawrence by the way" he stands up and offers you his hand. Which you gladly take, him helping you stand up.

"I'm y/n larusso, nice to meet you" you say rubbing at the sore spot on your forehead. Johnny looks guilty for a moment before his friends start shouting for him.

"to make it up to you for almost knocking you out, how about me and you go see a movie sometime, my treat?" he questioned, and even though you just got hit in the head you felt like you just won the lottery.

"that sounds nice, how about Friday?" you ask with a smile. Johnny gives you a smile as he stuffs his hands in his pockets, walking backwards and back to his friends.

"Friday it is" he confirmed, he set up the time and place and you felt yourself counting down the days until then.

Who would have thought being hit in the face with a shoe would have scored you a date with a handsome man?

Who would've thought that, that date would have brought you and Johnny closer, the outcome of being hit in the face making a beautiful relationship bloom. After that one movie date with Johnny there was more than one. One night you both went rollerskating another night you went mini gulfing. And after almost two weeks of dating Johnny had snuck you both into the local pool for a midnight swim. That was the night you first kissed, a night you would always remember.

You've been dating for a year, You fell so helplessly in love with him, he was sweet, loving, kind and even a gentleman. But you was the only one who saw that side of him. The only one who saw Johnny for who he really was. Everyone else saw him for his reputation, being a bully, a badass cobra Kai. They looked past his soft side that only you brought out, and looked straight at his tough guy attitude.

And even though he could be bit of an asshole and bully - especially with your brother. He wasn't really a bad guy. But you knew Daniel wouldn't agree with your relationship with Johnny, so you dated in secret. Always having dates when everyone in your house was asleep, hiding whenever you share kisses at school. Fleeting touches shared secretly, lingering gazes hidden.

But it was worth it, Johnny was worth it. And even though you knew Johnny and Daniel hated each other, you couldn't stay away from Johnny. You loved him. And the mere thought of leaving him hurt. So instead of choosing who you kept in your life, you tried keeping both. Because you knew if it ever came down to it Daniel wouldn't ever speak to you if he found out you and Johnny was a thing, that thought was painful considering you and Daniel was like twins, although he was a year older. And if Johnny knew Daniel wasn't speaking to you just because you two was dating, he'd make you runaway with him where you both could be together without someone trying to tear you apart.

You sigh at your wandering thoughts and live in the moment, that being seated in the sand, watching the ocean with Johnny's arm around you, holding you close against him you wearing his red jacket because the night wind was chilly. You've been sitting there for hours, listening to music on the boom box he brought. Talking and perhaps maybe making out.

It was nearing 2am when Johnny stood up, bringing you with him as he cups your cheek in hand and holds your hip in the other.

"we should probably get you home before you're family realize that you are gone" he muttered, face closer to yours. You smile and peck his lips before running off toward his bike. Hopping on the back and waiting for him you give him a grin.

"you better hurry slow poke!" you say, watching him run toward you with a laugh, the happiness on his face enough to cause your heart to swell.

Once he makes it to you he gives you a smirk, one hand resting on the handle bares of the bike while the other is resting on the seat behind you. He leans his face closer to yours.

"you're a tease y/n" he said, capturing your lips with his, the kiss deep and slow. His lips moving against yours perfectly. You pull away from the kiss and give him a cheeky smile.

"c'mon hot shot let's get going before Daniel wakes up for his usual kitchen raid" you joke making Johnny laugh. Hopping on the bike and listening to it roar to life. You wrapped your arms around Johnny's middle, holding him tight.

He then zooms down the road, wind blowing through your hair. You hold onto Johnny tightly, making him feel as if he was on top of the world. It didn't take long for him to slow down, before shutting the bike off. You was home, the apartment complex quiet all the lights off. You hop of the bike as Johnny stayed seated, watching you shrug off his jacket and handing it to him.

"I wish you could wear it all the time, it looks good on you" he said, taking it and putting it on.

"I think it looks pretty good on you Johnny" you replied back with a grin. He rolls his eyes and chuckles.

"you better get inside before Daniel or you're mom wakes up, my bike isn't exactly quiet" he points out causing you to sigh. "goodnight y/n"

"goodnight Johnny..." you lean in to give him one last kiss, him being the tease he is nibbles at your bottom lip. You giggle into the kiss and pull back reluctantly, Johnny smirking at you.

"I'll see you at school, bye babe" he starts up the bike as you back away slowly with a wave.

"bye Johnny, love you!" you say slightly loud over the noisy bike.

"love you too!" you watch how he gives you a wink before zooming down the road, disappearing from your sight. You sigh dreamily and head inside.

Completely oblivious to the watching eye's in your home.

You slip inside your bedroom and close the door quietly, slowly crawling in bed. As you laid down the light turns on making you jump up startled. Daniel gives you a look of disappointment. Making you instantly know that he knew.

"y'know I didn't believe Mr Miyagi when he told me that he saw you hanging around with Johnny but know I feel like a fool for not" he said, the disappointment Clear in his voice.

You sigh and hold your head in your hands. This was going to be a disaster...

"i was going to tell you -

"that's a lie" he scoffs, shaking his head. He looked angry now, he had a look of betrayal swimming in his eye's, "he's nothing but trouble y/n he's a bully! To be precise he bullies me!" now you scoff, looking up at Daniel with a annoyed look.

"I've been talking to him about that, he hasn't bathered you any now has he? he's not a bad guy Danny, he's nice, kind and he treats me like a queen! You just never give him the chance to be a nice civilized person because you instantly start going at each other's throats" you huff out, watching your brother shake his head.

"he's everything but good, did you see how he was fighting me at the tournament? He was fighting dirty!" he nearly yelled in anger, causing you to tense your jaw.

"he's different when it's just me and him, he's always so kind, so sweet...he loves me Danny, and I know you don't wanna hear it but I love him too... " you trail off knowing no matter what you say Daniel wouldn't change his mind. He didn't approve of the relationship, he didn't want you around him...

"he's a bad guy y/n, he's gonna end up breaking you're heart and I don't want that to happen to you... You deserve better" he muttered before cutting the light off and angrily going to sleep.

The next few days after that night was horrible. When you woke up you had walked into the kitchen, picking up a orange from the fruit bowl and tossing it to Daniel with a little 'think fast!' in hopes he would catch it like usual, a smile on his face. But instead he focused on his bowl of cereal and let it fall to the floor, ignoring you.

At school he didn't even look at you, wouldn't speak to you or even let you sit with him at lunch. It was painful, especially since you and Daniel was like bestfriends. He was always there for you when you needed him, a shoulder to lean on, cry on. You felt absolutely heart broken but thought perhaps he'd go back to being his normal self over time... But days turned to weeks and that's when you knew what needed to be done, no matter how hard it would be...

The room was dark, the only light being that of the moons blue hue shining through the window. You laid on your bed, watching the clock tick as you patiently wait for midnight to roll around. The cold silver locket in your hand felt heavy, your heart aching. You look down at the metal locket and sigh, flipping it open you let a little smile etch itself on your lips, the picture of you and Johnny one of your favorites, it was the night of your second date, the one where you had both went rollerskating. It was taken by Johnny, he held it further away from you both, smiling wide as you were. You close the locket as midnight had arrived, and for once you actually dread it.

Standing from the bed and slipping out the door, before you closed it Daniel spoke up making you freeze in shock that he was talking to you and fright that you had been caught.

"remember what I told you about him y/n, he's a prick, he'll kick you in the back any chance he gets" Daniel said, making a lump form in your throat. Looking down at the locket in your hand you nod.

"I won't give him the opportunity Danny..." you muttered, tears filling your eyes as you shut the door and leave the house with a heavy heart, a dark cloud lingering over your head.

The streets was empty, void of traffic or people. The star's twinkling in the night sky as the moons light danced across the ocean, waves crashing into the shore, sitting in the sand the man who stole your heart the moment you looked into his beautiful eyes...

Letting out a deep breath and wiping at your eye's in hopes the tears would go away you walk over to Johnny with a fake smile. He looks up at you with a smile.

"hey babe, before I came here I got you something" he grins up at you, holding a hand behide him and away from your sight. You felt your heart being squeezed by an unbearable pain. Out of all the nights he had to be the sweetest it just had to be now...

"oh, what it is?" you say sitting beside him, watching how he only grins wider.

"give me a kiss and it's you'res" you give him a genuine smile, leaning in and pecking his lips shortly. But that obviously wasn't enough, his pout saying it all, "what was that? That was hardly even a kiss!" he laughs, making you roll your eyes and press a more firm kiss on his lips, deciding to deepen it, relishing in the feeling of his soft lips on yours, engraving his taste into your memory as you place a hand on his jaw and pull him closer. Making him let out a noise of surprise into it, smirking as he pulls away slowly.

"how was that?" you ask teasingly. He chuckles and shows you the gift, which wasn't much honestly, just a flower, your favorite. You take it and feel your heart swell at the sweet gesture.

"johnny it's beautiful! Thank you" you kiss his cheek and decide you should give him the locket, even though you knew Johnny wouldn't even think twice about wearing a necklace, you still wanted him to have it. You pull it out of your pocket and hand it to him.

"I know you won't ever wear it, but I wanted you to have this..." you muttered, watching how he takes it and looks over it, a fond smile on his face.

"a locket?" he asks with confusion, looking inside it at the picture, "our second date..." he chuckles at the memory. He looks back up at you with a look of pure love and affection, making you feel sick to your stomach. Johnny noticed the change of mood in you and gives you a concerned look.

"what's wrong?" he placed the locket down and cups your face. You bite your bottom lip to stop it from trembling, unable to look him in the eye's.

"I - I'll always love you Johnny, no matter what... You know that right?" you say, voice cracking. He nods his head and wipes away a falling tear off your cheek. You didn't even know you was crying...

"of course, I'll always love you too y/n" he reassures you, but he only made you feel worse...

"I want to end things..." you let out your tears, your voice trembled. Johnny looks takem back by your words, shocked. He let's go of your cheek and flickers his eyes across your face, looking for any sign of anything but truth.

"what? Why?..." he questioned as he clenched his fist around the necklace in his hand. His once happy smile morphing into anger and sadness.

"we can't be together anymore... I'm sorry Johnny... I love you -

"if you loved me then you wouldn't be saying all that - bullshit!" he stood up, necklace in a vice like grip in his hand as he looked down at you with heart broken eyes, anger, betrayal.

"I'm sorry" you sob out, tears freely falling from your eye's. Johnny scoffs and shakes his head, tears swimming in a pool of anger in those beautiful blues of his, making your heart break even more.

"I should have expected this, you leading me on. You're no better then that loser brother of yours!" he yelled, taking one last look at the locket, his tears fell from his eye's making him angrily wipe them away, "love me forever eh?" he takes the locket and throws it somewhere away from you both.

You sit helplessly, crying on the beach as you watch Johnny walk away. But you knew if you had Johnny in your life your brother would never talk to you again.... It was a hard choice, and you found yourself regretting it...

2018....

You woke up with a loud groan, rolling over in bed spotting the book on your bed side table, reaching over and taking it, opening the book to see the old withered and slightly torn flower, your favorite. Although it's color was slightly gone and it was dead, you loved it. It reminded you of him.

Shutting the book you place it back on the table and stand up from your bed, deciding to begin the day with a hot shower. you gathered your clothes and head into the bathroom. After that you had a tiny breakfast and head straight to your brothers work, only to torture him a bit.

It's been years since that horrid night you broke up with Johnny, yet it still haunts you. The guilt and regret never went away, you never dated anyone after that, never got married. Although your brother would always set up blind dates for you, saying you needed someone in your life like how he had amanda, his wife.

You smile when you pull up into the auto shop, seeing the big letters of your last name plastered on the building. Parking your car and stepping out you head inside instantly spotting Daniel, who gives you a wide smile.

"well if it isn't the bum who always drops by!" he joked, hugging you. You laugh and hug him back.

"I dropped by to see if I could get my insurance this month payed off for free" you joke right back making him roll his eyes.

"no can do sis, I'm afraid you're gonna have to do that yourself" he said with a chuckle. "what are you here for though? Need a job? Because we are always hiring y/n - and I think you'd really love -

"Danny I don't need a job here" you laugh at his rambling. Daniel was always so eager to hire you, he wanted you both to work in the same field, under the same roof. But you didn't want to work at his business, although it was pretty awesome, you didn't really like the whole 'car selling and paperwork' theme. So you was a waitress at a old dinner, it didn't pay good but you wasn't poor. You knew Daniel felt slightly guilty for having so much money and a big house while you struggled to pay rent in a apartment building. That's why he made it a habit of loaning you - gifting actually, money. Even when you refused to take it.

"I actually came here to ask you about the whole dick in you're mouth thing?" you giggle at his face of horror and frustration.

"oh God you saw the billboard?" he asks with a low tone, a look of annoyance etched on his face.

"of course I saw it! I think everyone has" you laughed, almost at the point of wheezing. "I even took a picture so I can always have it as a reminder" you wheeze out, causing him to groan.

"of course you'd do that" he muttered with a roll of his eyes.

"who done that anyway?" you ask, watching his expression turn from embarrassing and frustrated to conflict and deep thought.

"they didn't find him...or her..." he muttered, turning his back on you. Confused by how he just obviously lied to you, you shrug it off and understand it's a touchy subject for him, Amanda kindly texting you not to bring it up, but you did because it was to good not to.

"okay, well I hope you're day doesn't suck to bad" you stifle a laugh at your pun. He groans and shoo's you away.

"get out of here before I ban you!" you laugh loudly and complie, leaving the place. But as you walk to your car you noticed a yellow flyer on the ground. curious, you pick it up, heart skipping a beat at the word's...cobra Kai... But your heart fluttered yet is clenched with a guilt filled pain at the picture.

Johnny Lawrence in all his glory. He looked the same, a bit aged but still the handsome man who stole your heart all those years ago.

Folding the picture up you hop inside your car, deciding a little visit to this new cobra Kai dojo wasn't so bad. So starting your car and searching for the place you let your mind wander.

Was he still mad at you? Did he hate you?

Of course he did. you broke his heart for Christ's sake. He threw the locket you gave him away like it was a poisonous snake. You sigh when the building comes in sight. You park and stare at it, debating whether you should go in or not.

What if he didn't want to see you? Or what the hell would you even say?

You let out a deep dragged out breath before opening up your car door and getting out. You wanted to see him again, you needed to. So without a second thought you approached the dojo, getting ready to open the door while your head was held low.

That's when you felt a horrible pain in your nose as you fall on your back, a yelp emitting from you as you hold your hurting nose. Feeling the warm sensation of blood slowly falling from it. With eyes squeezed shut you groan.

"oh my God! Are you okay?" the familier sound of the one and only Johnny Lawrence blesses your ears. You feel his hands gently push your hair away and out of your face. "lady you're gonna have to move your hands otherwise I can't see what the hells wrong" you would have laughed at his polite yet slightly rude words if you didn't think your nose was broken.

You move them slowly and open your eyes only to be greeted with his beautiful concern filled blue ones. That's when it hit him, the realization of who you were, "y/n larusso? Is that you?" you sit up slowly and nod.

"yeah, is it just me or do you greet all women by hurting them unintentionally?" you joke, causing him to smile a small smile.

"come inside and let me check you're nose out, try stop the bleeding" he says while helping you up, leading you inside. His hold on your hand never filtered as he held it all the way to a little office typed room. Cleaning his desk off and motioning you to sit down on it. You do so and watch how he disappeared into some other room and soon returned with a few tissues and a cotton ball.

"so what brings you here? Wanting to learn some karate?" he asks with a teasing smile, wiping the blood from your nose then delicately placing the cotton ball inside the bleeding nostril.

"no, I actually saw a flyer and wanted to... See you" you muttered the last sentence but he heard. Giving you a small barely noticeable smile he crossed his arms. "it's been a while" you say with a nervous chuckle. Taking your eyes off him and looking down at your hands.

"well, since I hit you with my door how about I make it up to you and buy you a drink?" he suggests, causing you to snap your head up eagerly and nod.

"that sounds only fair" you giggle. He chuckles and reaches for his keys beside you on the table.

"then follow me" he said as he leads you out of the dojo.

In a car ride full of silence besides the classic rock playing on the radio, you both had arrived at a quiet little bar, where you both sat tucked away in a booth in the corner. A beer in both your hands as you talked and laughed like old times.

"oh God, do you remember that time when I snuck in through you're bedroom window and I didn't know you and you're brother shared room?" he asks with a laugh, the memory a hilarious one.

"you had to hide under the bed for like 5 hours before Daniel went to sleep!" you laughed, remembering how Daniel stayed up that night for hours telling you horrible jokes and stuff. Poor Johnny hiding under your bed and suffering through it with you.

"nothing will ever be as funny as that one time we went skating and you nearly broke my neck trying to push me away from you because you saw Daniel with ali" he snickered, sipping his beer as you snort.

"you wouldn't stop trying to make out with me, I thought he would for sure see us" you giggle while sipping your own beer.

"we used to have so much fun" he muttered, a nostalgic look on his face. You give him a fond smile and nod.

"y'know, I never wanted to break up with you that night..." you say, mind slightly buzzed from all the beers you've had. Not quite drunk, just more bolder with your words. "the only reason I did was because Daniel found out about us... He Stopped talking to me for days, he hated me"

That caught his attention and made him devote his full attention on you.

"he stopped talking to me, completely acting as if I didn't exist. So I knew if I didn't end things between you and me, I'd lose my only brother" you sigh, shaking your head and giving him a apologetic look. "I'm sorry I think I've had way to many -

"I kept it..." he blurted out, cutting your words short. You give him a confused look. "the locket, I went back the night after you ended things and found it" he reaches for the neckline of his shirt and pulled out the silver necklace locket.

You felt a flutter in your heart, a hope blooming inside you that perhaps maybe you still had a chance with Johnny. He smiles and flips the heart shaped pendent open, revealing the photo inside.

"you found it?" you questioned as you stood only to sit beside him, shoulders nearly touching as he shows it to you.

"of course, I didn't really throw it that far" he said while closing it, shoving it back under his shirt, "besides, even though you broke up with me I couldn't ever get you off my mind" he confessed while looking at you with those big blue eye's of his.

"likewise, I regretted that night ever since it happened" you muttered while looking away from him, feeling the guilt and heartbreak weighing down on you. Tears slowly starting to glisten in your eye's.

But Johnny gently placed his hand on your face, palm firmly pressed on your cheek as he makes you look at him.

"I understand y/n, I understand that you done that because you're brother and I aren't exactly bestfriends" he reassures you. Causing a little smile to tug at your lips. "I never stopped loving you y/n, and even though I can't stand you're brother... I'd love to take you to dinner sometime?" he asks with a little half smile.

You felt a wave of happiness wash over you, heart swelling with joy as you nod.

"of course, I'd love that" you say with a wide grin. He let's out a little chuckle, a silence falling over you two, his hand still on your cheek as he just let's his eyes roam your face with adoration.

"I missed you" he muttered, his thumb rubbing at your cheek.

"I missed you too..." you murmured, as you lean into his touch.

And as if he couldn't live without his lips on yours he brings your face closer and pressed his lips on yours. You was surprised at first but soon let your lips move with his in the familier way you missed, the kiss was enough to take your breath away. The way he nibbled at your bottom lip caused you to giggle into the kiss. Pulling away he gives you his beautiful smirk.

"I see you haven't changed a bit Johnny" you murmur with, small smile on your face.

"neither have you y/n..." he placed another kiss on your forehead as he wraps a arm around you, holding you close to him. For once in your life you feel content, happy. And there is no place you'd rather be than in Johnny's warm arms..

A/n: I know this sucks, and I'm sorry it took so long, I'm a very busy person *coughs* it's classified👀

Also I left my phone unattended, I was also in the middle of writing this here imagine, and when I came back to check on it my little sister had down this:

I laughed at this for a while 😂🤣

[mofieroll]

You Too (Jotaro Kujo x Fem!Reader)

Inspired from my in-character interaction with @mistaeq! Dedicated to them for motivating me to write! 💛

A Post!SDC Jotaro x Reader one shot where you bond with Holly, who you call Seiko, and pamper your man Jotaro.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Trauma

Word Count: 3k

Two years have passed since the events of the Crusaders' trip to Egypt to save the life of Holly Kujo from being taken by her own Stand. To say that the trip was memorable is an understatement. It was too memorable. The memories of built friendships and increased attachments in just a span of fifty days were unbearable, for fate made the surviving comrades of the group pay for all the joyous moments with the pain of death and eternal separation.

It was hard. Painful. Frightening. Heartbreaking.

It was excruciatingly traumatizing, that even the boy who appeared to be unbothered and distant, the boy who put an end to the cold-blooded century old vampire's curse, couldn't deny it.

Jotaro Kujo couldn't get away from the memories of his dying friends, and so, the supposed flashbacks became inescapable nightmares.

But fortunately, that was until you came.

You met Jotaro a month after he came back from his trip. The meeting was a mere coincidence as you were a year lower than him, you personally did not and had no intentions of getting to know him. It just so happened that Holly or Seiko, his mother, came across your small shop that sold self-designed accessories made from recycled materials. You had told her you search and pick the materials —mostly trash— yourself, which certainly piqued the woman's interest and told you, “Is that right? I have a son, and don't tell him I told you this, but he loves marine animals! It seems you are both fond of nature so I'm sure you'll get along— Oh! I'm sorry dear, we haven't introduced ourselves! I'm Holly Kujo, but you can call me Seiko~”. She was a sweetheart, so you saw no harm in accepting her offer that led you to become a close acquaintance of the Kujo Family.

Much to the matchmaker's Seiko's dismay, it took a year for you and Jotaro to confess that your platonic feelings are in need of a level up. She is Jotaro's mother and your first Kujo friend, of course she'd notice if something was up between you and Jotaro that you both refused to talk about! When you finally re-introduced yourself as Jotaro's.. cough.. girlfriend, Seiko was delighted and decided to treat her second favorite couple (next to her parents Joseph and Suzie) to a nice romantic dinner! The unplanned date embarrassed Jotaro, but he endured it as it gave a good start for the new level of your relationship with him.

Until then, Jotaro became more and more protective. You found it sweet knowing that your boyfriend, former acquaintance, cares about you and shows affection in ways you quite expected for a forbearing man like him. He's not a man of words nor materialistic gifts but a man of straightforward actions— yet he remained mysterious.

Jotaro has been avoiding you since the week has started. He distanced himself yet guarded you as you walked home after class everyday. Everytime you tried to catch him, he's nowhere to be seen. You started to get frustrated, and you know you wouldn't get any explanation even if you corner him and face him alone.

Seiko called you today and asked if you could have dinner wih them, which you excitedly agreed to because you were actually on the way to the Kujo household, a paper bag —which contained your newly designed rings and necklace— in hand.

With Seiko greeting you outside their gates, you entered their traditional mansion and told her about the happenings from the previous days. Even with the mention of Jotaro's sudden actions, Seiko chatted with you nonchalantly.

“Dear, you know my boy would do things that can be a little too unexpected even for me,” Seiko stated, “But if there's one thing or two that I can assure of, is that he means no harm..” You stopped in your tracks as she faced you and tucked your hair behind your ear, smiling, “And he cares for you, [Y/N]. I think, that may be his way of showing it!” Seiko spoke with softness, hopeful that her words would reach you and get rid of any confusion that would spark a misunderstanding on her stoic son's intentions.

You smiled back at Seiko with teary eyes, touched by her comfort. You pulled out the necklace from your paper bag and showed it to her, quietly telling her that it's your gift, only to receive an enthusiastic squeal and hug before you locked the accessory around her neck.

“It looks perfect on you Seiko! I wonder if I'd be as beautiful as you when I reach your age..” You sighed and pouted at Seiko, holding the paper bag on your middle.

“Oh, you!” Seiko playfully hit you as you both giggled, “You shouldn't say such things to a middle aged woman, [Y/N]! I might believe you!” Seiko joked while you insisted that you're sincere about your compliment.

Your chat continued on until she told you to run along and check on her boy, not forgetting to tease that Jotaro misses you. You face warmed in pink, which Seiko found so cute that she had to pinch your cheeks. With her positive and welcoming presence, your determination to face Jotaro fueled.

Seiko informed you that she'll be preparing dinner. You replied, “Mhm! I'll drag Jotaro and we'll meet you here at the dining room! Is that okay?”

“Okay~!”

—

Meanwhile Jotaro, who hasn't come out of his room the whole day, heard you and Seiko pass by. He was sitting in the far corner of his room but the combined voices of yours and his mother's particularly blasted through his ears. He's.. happy.. that you're both safe and sound.. but— why are you here? You should be at home! Did something happen? Did someone bother you? Wait.. did you come here alone? Didn't he tell you even before that you shouldn't go out at night? What if.. what if something happened to you? What if someone showed up and.. and took you away? Took you somewhere.. he can't reach.. What if his dreams were to happen? What if—

Knock! Knock!

Jotaro's sweating face turned to look at his door as his breathing became more unsteady. His eyes widened, brows clashed, and his mouth was agape, gasping for more air. His fists were clenched and he was trembling, who's knocking? Who's trying to get him again?

“Kujo?”

Jotaro stopped breathing for a second while his body still trembled. The voice that called him held sweetness and concern in it but he was still in a dark trance. What if someone's trying to deceive him?

“Seiko called me, may I come in?”

His widened eyes calmed, turning his tormented expression into one of those longingness. His shuddering arm reached out as he subconsciously stood and walked towards his shut door. His cold hand gripped the handle.. but he didn't have the slightest strength to pull it himself. What is he doing? He can't face anyone like this, especially..

On the other side of Jotaro's door was you, with a hand that also gripped the cold handle, waiting for the right timing to enter. Your heartbeat has increased its pace, indicating your uptight feeling of facing him after not seeing him for over a week. You were nervous and a short flashback of your first meeting with Jotaro popped up in your mind. Has it really been two years?

Jotaro never directly told you of his.. episodes. But, there were times where you just happened to observe that whenever you were late on your meeting, he immediately scoops you in a hug while he trembles; or whenever you randomly visit him on weekends and you enter his room only with a knock, he abruptly charges at you with his folded fist stopping inches from your worried face. He didn't tell you about what's haunting him, not even once. Yes, you were undeniably frustrated by him avoiding you, but you love him well enough to have the willingness to act up whilst having patience.

You waited for more minutes before speaking again, “I'm gonna enter now, alright?” You assured, carefully sliding the door behind you and turning on the light switch after you entered.

Your eyes wandered after it adjusted to the lit room, locking on the form of a slouched man in the corner, sitting with a knee up that had his arm and head resting on it while his other knee was folded. You quietly sighed and walked close to him, hiding the impatience to throw yourself at him and pepper him with kisses, mumbling i missed yous. You would have done it, but that kind of affection.. goes for later.

You sat beside Jotaro and placed the paper bag on your side. You weren't too close nor too far from him, just enough to have your hand caress his messy dark hair. You loved seeing him without his hat, seeing his flawless face be shadowless. But if he took it off, the reason is either he's agitated or.. sleep. There was a time when you told him that he should take off his hat indoors and a time you tried to take it off yourself, but he completely ignored you at both and kept the hat on.

“How are you?” You asked without expecting a reply. It was to make him acknowledge your presence, and that is because you didn't know that he's been waiting for you to come in since the moment he heard your voice.

Jotaro wanted to answer. He wanted to lock you in his arms and.. say sorry. He wanted to apologize for neglecting you but— how is he going to do that without telling you too much?

“Why the f*ck did my mother call you? I don't need any help. That b*tch.”

There it is, his method of putting up a tough facade, the swearing that would prompt anybody to think that he needs no help. It worked on you once, but you're not just anybody to him now.

“Mhm. Seiko checked up on me while I was heading home from.. somewhere. She invited me for dinner,” You informed. You didn't want to tell him that you were on your way here even before Seiko called you, knowing full well that he's against you ‘roaming’ at night alone.

You continued to comb through his hair as he answered, “For real [Y/N], I'm fine. Leave. I don't need you to stay here— or.. or something.”

Your hand lowered to his upper back and started to rub circles, “Would you look at me and say that again, Kujo?” you asked in a slightly teasing tone, trying to light up the mood.

You started humming a soft melody, a melody that somehow always soothed Jotaro. The first time you hummed it was when you were cooking dinner for him and Seiko wasn't home. He got into a fight that day and he was abnormally quiet, not the usual, resulting to a tension between the two of you. You hummed the melody to ease the atmosphere, and when you were placing his plate on the table, he suddenly grabbed your wrist and muttered an apology before he told you to ‘keep doing’ what you were doing. The melody was just random, so you did your best to remember its tone and hum it whenever you both need comfort.

And this time, he was soothed again, but he isn't going to be swayed so easily even if he wants to.

“F*cking go away.” He huffs, “You're just like the annoying b*tch. Leave me alone.”

No, stay. He stated in his mind the complete opposite of what came out of his mouth. Of course you didn't leave and continued to hum and rub circles on his back. He may be one of the harshest men you've met, but you have a counter for that. Well.. you're stubborn.

He remembered what you said about heading home from.. somewhere. Where was that? “Where were you coming from?” He asked in a demanding tone.

“Doesn't matter where I was, Kujo. You're still not looking at me.” You retreated your hand from his back and crawled to sit in front of him in crossed legs before placing your hands on his large ones, “I wouldn't mind being like Seiko, although..” You squeezed the top of his hands, bowed your body and peeked at his face where your warm [E/C] eyes met his tired yet enchanting aquamarines. Your lips quirked into a small smile, “You wouldn't want your partner to be your second mother, would you?”

Partner?

Jotaro looked at you blankly, not realizing how close your faces were, “You're still worrying about me too much, I'm fine. I'm.. I'm just remembering..” You straightened and held his cheeks, gently pulling up his face before standing on your knees. You shifted your hand and cupped his face, delicately looking at him to encourage him to speak.

In that moment where he's putting his toughness down, you've completely set aside the issue from the past week. The thoughts that Jotaro might've had enough of you because he thinks you're oblivious to his personal issues— all gone. Holly's words echoed through your mind. Mother truly knows best.

“Egypt.. friends dyi—” Jotaro cut his words and sighed deeply, “..all of it is hitting hard. You won't understand.”

You bit your bottom lip and nodded. He's right, you would not be able to understand, but that's temporary. It'll take more time for him but you're willing to wait, “I.. dream of you..” He swallows the lump in his throat while you wipe the sweat forming on his temple, “I dream of you dying too.”

With that, you were able to catch on more of what happened before you came in his life. People close to him died. People who he probably traveled with.. might have died right before him.. or not. And now he's being haunted, probably by the guilt or by the experience itself. You're still skeptical, but it's considerably clear now.

Your eyes that looked at your hand which wiped his bead of sweat shifted to his eyes, and you saw fear. He was frightened, not only by the past, but also by the possibility that he might lose you too.

You retreated your hands and sat on your legs as you and Jotaro continued to communicate through your eyes. Your heart was thumping fast against your chest, now of sympathy.

“Jotaro, I..”

This time, you threw yourself at him. Arms snaking around his neck, your face buried on his shoulder. You wrapped him in a tight hug as it took him time to return the affection, wrapping his arms around your back and pulling you even closer as he closed his eyes and basked his head on yours. You and Jotaro savored the hug for a while, not thinking about anything else aside being in each other's arms.

“I'm here.. and I'm telling you that I'll be here to love you longer than that delinquent head of yours expected.”

You broke the hug gently, a hand shifting to cup his cheek while you also reached for the paper bag. Jotaro opened his eyes as he felt you fix his sitting position so you could sit —with crossed legs— on his thighs, laying your back on his chest.

“See this?” You lifted the paper bag with both hands, giving Jotaro the chance to once again wrap his arms around your waist. He doesn't mind giving in to your touch as of now.

Jotaro grunted, “Inside this lovely recycled and eco-friendly paper bag are things that.. uhm.. how do I introduce it..” You slowly placed your head on his shoulder, putting the bag down between your legs. You contemplated as you stared on the wooden ceiling, “I know! The things.. consider it as our promise to each other, Kujo. Am I clear? Yep, I'm clear!”

Jotaro clicked his tounge in annoyance as you lifted your head from his shoulder when he was about to rest his head against yours. Why can't he just cuddle you without you moving too much? Can't you and him just cuddle in peace?

You shifted again, now face to face with him. You acted surprise when you saw his furrowed brow, “Oh? Kujo is annoyed with the mighty [L/N]?”

“Just get it over with, woman.” Jotaro supported your back with an arm, watching you as you struggled to hold his free hand with one of yours. You had set aside the paper bag, the things in it now hidden in your other hand.

When you finally settled with wrapping your small hand around his palm so his fingers were loose, you smiled up at him and swiftly leaned in to kiss the tip of his nose. Jotaro turned away, snorting to at least lessen his flustered state. Where is his hat now that he practically needs it?

Jotaro felt a cold thing graze his skin, along with what seems to be two fingers pushing the thing on his. He glanced and saw you inserting a ring on his pinky with a serious face. You were glaring at his hand, your smile only returning when you successfully inserted the ring.

You let go of his hand and was about to wear the other ring yourself when he grabbed your wrist, snatched the ring and easily inserted the accessory on your pinky, all of it with only one hand as his other arm was still supporting you.

You were taken aback, ready to question him when he pulled you into a bridal position and locked your upper body with his arms within a second. You chuckled instead of saying a thing, wrapping your arms around his torso.

“Keen for a cuddle, huh, Kujo?”

“Good grief. You're one brave woman to challenge me.”

As you and Jotaro became ignorant to your surroundings, a flash of a camera resided from the slightly opened door, the sound being followed by a muffled kyaaah! which, with no doubt, came from the adorably giddy mother of the impatient man in your arms.

[End!]

[prettyblfan]

Coffee Shop Boy

Chapter Two

~

Just as he thought by the time he had finished his shift and set off for school Sorawit managed to completely forget about his encounter with very mysterious That.

~

As he walked into his classroom he instantly locked eyes with his best friend Nam. Despite only being in Viangpa Mork for only 3 months him and Nam seemed to connect instantly, she practically took Sorawit under her wing because he was too gullible for his own good. During his first week of school some boys in their class convinced him that the girls toilet was actually the boys toilet, ever since then she's felt very protective over him. However, this was practically the same for Sorawit after all Nam was pretty, popular and funny a complete package so he felt like if was his job to protect from all the shameless creeps that through themselves at her.

Sorawit pulled out his seat next to Nam and smiled,

"Have you done the maths homework" he cheekily asked putting on his sweetest voice. He plan to do it this morning but all the customers decided to pack in all at once so in the end he didn't have any time to finish it.

"No, I though you would do it! that's why I didn't bother" Nam said pulling a pout while she flopped onto the desk in front of her.

"Ahh, why don't you ask one of the multiple guys who have a crush on you" Sorawit responded, despite how calm they both seemed the end result of not handing in homework was quite harsh. They'd get one or two whole weeks of detention. As they went to a very high ranked and respected school it was only natural that standards were set to such a high level, but regardless they couldn't help but think it was stupid.

"No way, they always end up expecting soo much more in return, i can't handle the entitlement." Nam said dryly her voice dripping with disgust.

Sorawit knew exactly what she meant, whenever she'd show the smallest bit of kindest or even ask for a favour they always seemed to think that they deserved something in return. And that something was her body. In alot of situations although Sorawit couldn't fight he'd end up stepping in and trying to protect her.

"Umm, I guess we'll just have to settle for one week of detention then." Sorawit laughed after all his friend's safety was his top priority.

Just as both Nam and Sorawit were prepared to accept their fate one of the girls in their class came in yelling,

"Miss Jane isn't in."

It was this one line that seemed to save their lives, miss Jane was their maths and foreign language teacher as well as a tutor at the school. She was only strict because wanted the best for them but sometimes she could really be too ruthless.

As they no longer had a teacher for two of their lesson both Nam and Sorawit messed about, joking and talking the entire time.

For Sorawit the rest of the day went by without a hitch.

~

By the end of school Sorawit felt like death, maybe waking up at 3 am wasn't going to work for him. As he almost feel asleep against his bike Nam flicked his head.

"Are you gonna give me a ride home today or not" Nam said impatiently as she hopped onto the back of his bike (Sorawit is too much of a soft boy to be riding round on a motorbike, so he has a bicycle a yellow one at that).

Before Sorawit could respond the most obnoxious sounding voice echoed out.

"Nam!"

Standing at the gate was a couple of boys probably a year older than them. They were all in Sorawit's eyes dressed like gangsters, their pants were unnecessarily low and they all opted for darker colours (yes this is what gangsters look like in Sorawit's mind, maybe mine too). The one that called out to Nam was tall but not that handsome the only thing that stood out about him was the polished black motorcycle next to him.

Sorawit looked at Nam puzzled.

"It's a long story, just ignore them." Nam said urging Sorawit to hurry up.

Sorawit despite being known for not being very quick witted caught on quite fast, this must be one of Nam's countless admirers.

He pulled Nam along on his adorable yellow bike and although others may not not agree with him, Nam in fact said it was too girly. Regardless Sorawit didn't see anything wrong with it. It was just the right amount of cute, the yellow made it stand out and the small daisies dotted about the bike made it even more pefect in Sorawit's eyes.

As they approached the gates they were quickly blocked, just as Sorawit had expected. However, Sorawit knew for a fact they wouldn't try anything as long as they were on school property, but unfortunately he couldn't say the same for when they had left.

"Nam let's hang out today, on me" he said eying her up and down.

"Pong, I remember telling you I was busy when you asked me yesterday." She replied obviously not interested in hanging out with him at all.

"What, busy hanging out with this loser instead." The guy now known as Pong spoke sizing up Sorawit. Eventhough he was tall Sorawit was indeed 100% bone.

"Pong." Nam warned, it was quite clear that she had enough, half because she knew that this would end alot worse for Sorawit than for her. And the other half was tired of guys constantly thinking she was interested in them.

"Nam, what does he have that I dont." Pong paused briefly looking at Sorawit before bring his eyes back to Nam.

"Now don't be stupid."

It was that line that made Sorawit snap.

"Her not wanting to hang out with you isn't being stupid." He said standing tall trying to make himself appear as tough as possible.

"What?" Pong replied before laughing along with the rest of his friends, they all looked completely amused.

Nam quickly sensed things were going to take a turn for the worst if things continued going the way that they were.

"Pong I'm seriously busy today I have a bunch of work to catch up on, I have alot more time on the weekend let's hang out then" she spoke alot softer.

"Huh, fine." Pond said a lot calmer now maybe because Nam was being a lot more docile or because a teacher was approaching.

~

The whole situation was over rather quickly after that, Pong and his group of friends had left before the teacher arrived and Nam had explained to that said teacher that the whole thing was a misunderstanding.

Sorawit was now sitting in the Pink Lilly attempting to complete his homework as the staff around him began to prepare for the evening shift. He was thinking about the conversation that he had with Nam while he was taking her home.

She said playing along was always the safer options especially with guys like that.

It made him worry to the point he had to convince her not to go and see him on the weekend.

"What's wrong you're pulling a pout." Ploy said squeezing his cheeks with a soft smile.

Ploy was a University student in her 20s that worked at the Pink Lily part time, she was kind and energetic but she was always in other peoples business.

"Umm I'm fine" Sorawit mumbled out before resuming his homework that he had been neglecting for the past half hour.

Before Ploy could prod for more information, Bun had stormed and was clearly in a mood. A way worse one than usual.

"Who does he think he is?" Fuming Bun slammed his hand down on the front counter.

"Why do handsome men think its okay to be so arrogant" Bun continued to rant furiously.

"P'Bun????" Sorawit called utterly confused, who could have made him so angry.

"Bun, what's wrong?" Ploy also questioned after all seeing her boss this angry was rare.

"Huh, what's wrong. You won't believe what happened today!" Bun responded quickly pulling out a seat. Finally seeming to calm down he recited what took place earlier today.

Bun had gone into work for his regular morning shift at 3am hence why he wasn't there to help ease Sorawit into his first shift. But the real trouble began after his long lunch break around 4ish when a young man was rushed in with a bullet wound, Bun was assigned to treat him. So naturally once he heard the man was accompanied by two other men he had quickly gone to question them after all bullet wounds weren't very common in Viangpa Mork. When he had confronted them he was ridiculed and mocked (more so softly teased, but okay Bun. I'll have to make a special chapter about their first meeting after all this is a That x Sorawit centered story) by a tall well dressed handsome man which only pissed him off more. He'd come to know that the arrogantly handsome man was Tan.

In his 3 months in Viangpa Mork he had only heard from other residents that Tan was one of the many sons of a very affluent family that owned multiple business in the city, and he had been doing a lot of work out here recently.

But the icing on the cake for Bun was that everyone loved him, not the police nor a single soul had come to question them or see what was going on. The whole situation was perfectly swept under the rug.

Bun had finished his story with a huff, just retelling it had seemed to annoy him.

"Wow, i mean it is expected after all rumour is that their family does dabble in..." Ploy trailed off unsure if she should finish her sentence. Tan and his family were doing way more for Viangpa Mork than the governor, in the past couple years their investments had gotten them things they never thought they'd see. Like new school buildings and more focus placed on education. They had even gotten Ploy into university through their Helping the Youth fund before that she never thought she would even have the opportunity to go.

"In what?" Sorawit asked, he hadn't been able to catch onto what she was implying like Bun had.

"Never you mind, my shift starts now so I'll see you later" Ploy wore a light smile before returning to work.

Bun had assumed it would have been something like that but he really thought Viangpa Mork was a quite and unproblematic town.

"Ah, Sorawit how was your shift this morning" Bun asked realising that he had been to caught up in himself to ask.

"It was fine but," it was at this moment that Sorawit had remembered his encounter with That.

"But what?" Bun said urging him to continue.

So, for the remainder of the evening shift until the start of the late evening shift Sorawit proceed to tell Bun about the oh so mysterious That. Although he sub consciously left out his heart pains and stomach twists that he felt around the boy, the rest of the story was relayed exactly as it happened.

After he had finished Bun had agreed the boy was strange and that in future he should try to keep his distance.

~

Sorawit had quickly retired for the night after he had finished talking to Bun feeling completely exhausted.

As he laid in bed,

When he was just about to fall asleep for a split second the very mysterious That flashed across his mind.

Regardless of what Bun had said earlier a part of him couldn't help but hope that just maybe he would see him again.

~

At last I have done, I hope you like this chapter. Cause i really do.

Oof my hate for men really showed at Nam's part, but do not worry I shall not allow for creepy old men or men at that to get their hands on her.

Any way onto the next chapter! That visiting his favourite coffee boy once again.

Again not proof read cause I live on the edge.

[bangtansdoc]

Into the light.

Part 1.

Ost: OMG!- Joy red velvet ( Ost of the great seducer).

Pairings:Park Jimin(BTS)×reader

Genre: Fluff, horror(maybe Idk), Vampire! Au, CEO! Au, secretive and very clingy-ish Jimin. Ack guys this is one's a long read. Hope you can follow through to the end.

Ost: Joy(red velvet)- OMG!(Ost of the great seducer).

Word count: Honestly I don't even count it anymore.

Synopsis: You need money. Park Jimin has money. You end up getting a job as a house keeper in his gargantuan mansion. But what secrets might the handsome CEO be hiding underneath his flashy image?

PS: This whole fic was inspired by Jimin's GDA 2019 looks. It was le'jin'dary.

He watched as blood pooled out from her body. There was so much blood. He wondered if it was normal for her to produce that much, considering who she was. He tried to reach out to her, to hold her hand, even though he knew she was already gone. His vision faded, and he knew it wouldn't be long before he joined her.

***

"Hey Y/N are you watching the news right now?!" Your best friend's voice screeched out of the phone before it reached your ear. "No I'm not Joon. What's the problem?!" "Go find a TV right now. Or..." "Joon! I'm on my way to work now. Can't it wait?" "It IS about work. And it can't wait. Y/N..." "Ok see you later Joonie!" "No don't you...." You quickly hung up the phone as you felt a migraine creeping along your head to the base of your skull. You leaned your head against the bus window and sighed. You were exhausted. It was bad enough that you were working two part time jobs(they were initially four but Joon had argued that if you didn't tone it down you would flunk all your classes and probably end up in a hospital which had ended in you clocking him over the head and eventually conceding cause....he was right) but you also had a big test that you really weren't prepared for. You brought your fingers to your temples and massaged them lightly. "Don't fret Y/N." You spoke softly to yourself. "You can do this. Only two more years left till you graduate. You got this." Your phone buzzed with a text message. It was Joon. "PICK UP THE PHONE NOW YOU STUPID BRAT." You sighed again and switched off your phone. "Not today Namjoon. Not today." You whispered again to yourself as the bus arrived at your stop and you disembarked.

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You jogged lightly towards the glue factory, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you prepared to tough it out through another day of work. So it was to your surprise when you met several employees loitering around the factory's compound, with several men moving boxes out of the factory and into a large truck. You quickly approached the elderly woman that was the head of staff. "Mrs Avery?" She looked at you and relief washed over her face like you were the answer to all her problems. "Oh Y/N! Thank goodness you're here!" "What happened?" "Don't you watch the news dearie? Some whistleblower reported the president of the factory for embezzlement. So they cut us all off, packed up and are 'moving to rural areas'. Pssht." Your eyes bulged out of their sockets. "What?! But-- but---" "There's nothing we can do dearie. We're all out of jobs now." She said again as she quickly made her way to another group of employees. Your mind raced and spun around. Packed up...cut us all off....out of jobs... Your tuition fees were due in a month. And you were perfectly, utterly and catastrophically broke. You fumbled for your phone in your trousers pocket and dialled your best friend's number. "Joon! I'm doomed! Doomed Joon! I'm- I'm gonna get kicked out of school. The factory---it-it shut Down. I don't have any money Joon! What am I gonna do?!" "Calm down Y/N! Your tuition isn't due for about a month. You have plenty of time to find a new job before then. "No no no! Don't you get it?! No job will have as high a pay as a factory in time, and no factory will hire a part timer now after this whistleblowing incident!" You could see practically see Joon scratching his forehead in thought. "Ok Y/N? Take a deep breath." He paused as you did so. "Now calm the hell down, and come on over so we can figure out what you're gonna do." You blinked back several tears as you hung up and bolted for the bus station.

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"Maybe you should ask your parents for some cash." You stared at Namjoon like he had just sprouted horns. "Kim Namjoon. How long have we been friends?" "Since kindergarten." "Exactly. So you of all people should know that that isn't an option." "But you're really desperate now. You can't do this alone." "So what's gonna happen to my FIVE siblings Hun? I've been taking care of myself by myself pretty well. Now is no different." Namjoon sighed exasperatedly like you were the dumbest person in the world. He was probably right. But what were you to do? Growing up in a family of eight was no joke. Your father was a teacher and your mother owned a bakery. But their earnings alone were not enough to cater for all your needs. So you had decided to unburden them by fending for yourself. You had started working as soon as you were old enough. Your parents were apprehensive at first but you were able to alleviate their fears of your working affecting your studies. You had worked your way through high school, moving from job to job and had been offered admission into a prestigious University. Your family was again afraid that the tuition was too much for you to handle alone, so you had borrowed money from Namjoon, which you were still currently trying to pay back. It had seemed that luck was on your side when you got a job at the glue factory. The working hours were reasonable and the pay was good. You figured that if you saved enough you would be able to make it through the four years of college. Until this happened. "I could lend you money again." You covered your face with your palms. "I still haven't finished paying you back for the last time you lent me money." "It doesn't matter." "It does matter! Our tuition is not chicken feed!" Namjoon shrugged. "It's not my fault my parents are rich." You groaned again before throwing a plushie at him. "Dogmatic jerk." You muttered under your breath. "Don't worry. I'll think of something." "Yeah well whatever you think of, better think of it fast."

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"Hey hey Y/N check out what's on the news right now." Namjoon said as he plopped down beside you in the school cafeteria. "Do you spend all your time watching the news?" You asked teasingly, making him open his mouth in thought which you giggled at. "Probably." He replied and you burst out in laughter. "Anyway guess what?" You decided to humour him. "What?" "You know the glue factory you used to work at? The one that got whistleblown?" You looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Ok ok you do. Well park Jimin just bought it." "Park Jimin? The mega ultra super rich business tycoon?" " Yeah, the mega ultra super shady one. Something's not right about that guy. I know it." You rolled your eyes. "You've 'known' it for six months now." "Yeah I mean all people know about him is that he's super young and super secretive. We're talking about no friends, no family, not even a freaking pet....." "Namjoon..." "And he lives in this gigantic mansion with no one but his housekeeper." "Maybe he just likes his privacy." "Yeah no one ever just ' likes their privacy' . Especially super rich business moguls. He definitely has something to hide." Namjoon paused. "I'm thinking of making him the protagonist of a book I'm writing." You stood up with your tray of food. "Goodbye Joon. Call me when you have something better to discuss. Like where to find a job maybe?" "Hey I'm helping out as much as I can." You leaned towards him and kissed his cheek. "Well you should help out more than that." Your phone buzzed with an alarm. "And there goes my lunch break." You shoved your food into Namjoon's arms. "I have to go job hunting." "Hey let me come with." Namjoon said as he hurriedly stood up. "No you don't have to. I'm going to the job center to ask if they have any openings. And you have class." Namjoon raised an eyebrow. "And you don't?" "Well I won't even have a class to ditch anymore if I don't get a job now. See you." You said again as you quickly made your way out of the cafeteria.

***

You stared at your phone and sighed. It had already been a week since you had been to the women's job center. They had been skeptical, especially after you had stated all your conditions, working part-time during the week, Sundays free and also the fact that you were a student. However they had promised to get what they could for you, especially after you had begged them that you would work anywhere as long as the pay was good. But now here you were, staring intensely at your phone. What if you weren't able to find a job in time? You were sure that asking your parents for that much money would definitely affect at Least one of your siblings. You rubbed your temples and felt that awful migraine creeping along your skull again. You were not a happy-go-lucky endearing kind of girl who was always smiling even while suffering, but you always kept a healthy level of optimism in your tank, never letting your troubles or problems get the better of you. Namjoon had also played a great part in that. You fell back on your bed. But lately it had been getting harder to see the good side of things. You groaned in frustration, wondering if the job center was really finding it hard to get you something to do. Your phone suddenly buzzed to life, and you sprang off the bed like a rabbit, stumbling to the dresser and grabbing your phone like your life depended on it. You glanced at the caller ID and curled your toes in anticipation. "Hello is this Y/N/L/N?" A soft voice boomed out of the phone. "Yes. Yes it is." You said quickly, your heart in your throat. "Ok. I'm from the women's center. I'm happy to inform you that we've found a job for you." You heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh thank God. I thought you weren't gonna be able to." The voice let out a soft chuckle. "Well it was difficult. But we managed to get something for you last minute. You are really lucky. The job offer sprang up out of nowhere. And it meets all of your conditions." You couldn't believe your luck. You wanted to leap into the air in Joy. "Thank you so much. When can I start?" "Uh, you still have to come down here as Soon as you can to get more details. Your employer is very particular about the people he hires. He is a private man and wants to interview you first." You mused on this. "Whatever he wants. As long as I get the job." "Ok then. Come down to the agency tomorrow so I can give you the details." The voice said and hung up. You fell back on your bed again smiling like an idiot. "YES!!!" You shrieked as you wriggled about. You heard a small voice at the back of your head. "Don't count your chickens before they hatch Y/N." You pushed away the thought. Things were finally looking up.

❇️❇️❇️

You sat down in front of a desk with a computer on it. You had arrived at the job center and had been waiting for about twenty minutes. You checked your phone for the time. You were beginning to get agitated. Where was the attendant? A middle aged woman suddenly plopped down in front of you. She greeted you with a warm smile. "Miss Y/N?" She asked and you responded with a nod. "Sorry for taking your time." "You spoke to me on the phone?" "No my coworker did. But she's out sick today so she told me to take care of you." "Oh." You responded and waited for the woman to continue. She switched on the computer and began to tap at the keyboard. "Ok so you've been offered a job as a housekeeper." "Uh can I know who I'm working for?" The woman smiled. "They wanted you to find out when you came for the interview." You were confused and began to wonder if this was some elaborate prank by Namjoon. Really. How private could one person be that they were keeping their identity a secret from their prospective employees? Were they some kind of mafia clan? You started to think of declining the offer when the woman, as if sensing your doubt, spoke up. "It's not dangerous Y/N. And I promise you the pay is very good. The CEO is just a very private man." CEO she said. There was something off about this woman too. You eyed her carefully. Ok Y/N. Let's see how this goes. "Alright." You said finally. "Great." She tore out a slip of paper and scribbled something on it. "Here's the address. Your interview is in two hours." "Two hours?! Well why didn't you...." "I didn't think you'd accept the offer." She didn't think you'd accept it? Exactly what was going on? You hurried to get your things. "Good luck!" The woman yelled after you as you dashed out the door.

You stopped short in front of an enormous gate. The gate had two iron carvings of a Jade dragon embedded into it. You heaved a sigh and pressed the doorbell. You waited for a while and was about to press it again when a deep male voice boomed over the PA system. "Yes?" Yes? Oi. "Uh, I'm from the women's center. I applied for the post of housekeeper." "Oh. You're early!" Yeah barely. You thought as the voice said again and after a while the gates slid open. You stepped into the compound and gasped so hard you almost passed out. Before you was the largest compound you had ever seen. There was a huge maze like garden on both sides of the compound, and sandwiched in between them was a beautifully lit walkway. There were lights and lanterns decorating each side of the walkway and you could only imagine how it would look at night. You walked slowly and gasped again when you saw the house. At the far end of the compound stood the biggest palace you had ever seen. In front of it was a pavilion, and in the pavilion was a water fountain with water sprouting out of it. The house was enormous and you felt as if you were standing before the tower of Babel* instead of a freaking house. The mahogany doors swung open and a well dressed Man with blonde hair walked out and towards you. He was just as beautiful as the house. You began to wonder if you had accidentally walked into another dimension.

"Y/N? Welcome." The man said cheerily, smiling at you constantly. "Come on." He spoke again and you shivered. You followed him into the house and your eyes almost fell out of their sockets. You were standing in a very grand Hall, fit for a king. Now you weren't an artsy girl, but you could make out several pieces of art work placed in the hallway by the walls, all leading up to a glass stand, above which hung the portrait of a young girl in a hanbok. You stared at the portrait, entranced by the girl's beauty and how sad her face looked, before wondering what sort of creep you were about to work for. "Beautiful isn't it?" You heard the male's voice beside you. He was also staring at the painting. "Yes. Yes it is." "It's the most exquisite piece of art in the mansion. Apparently the CEO described the girl to the artist himself." You turned to face the man. So he wasn't your employer? You had thought that this CEO being so private would've interviewed you himself. Guess even the most private still order lackeys around. At this point you still didn't know who exactly you were working for. Just what kind of mess were you getting yourself into? "This way." The handsome male led you towards a beautiful set of spiral stairs. You ascended quietly as the man led you again into a parlour room. He sat down on a cushion and you sat opposite him.

"So Y/N. Hi. I'm Kim taehyung. I'm CEO Park's PA." An alarm went off in your head. CEO Park. CEO Park. CEO Park!!! "I'm sorry do you mean CEO Park jimin?" Taehyung studied you. "Yes." Oh God!! CEO Park jimin, the super secret mega business mogul that Namjoon disliked. Why hadn't you seen the signs? It was when taehyung had asked if you were alright that you realized you were gasping for breath. "I'm fine. I'm fine." Taehyung studied you again. God was he handsome. You hoped the CEO looked nothing like him or else it would be very hard for you to concentrate on work. "Okay." Taehyung leaned back on his chair and crossed his legs. "Let's discuss the conditions of your employment." "But I haven't accepted the offer yet." Taehyung raised an eyebrow. "Well you're here aren't you?" You shifted in your seat. "So you'll be working Mondays through Saturdays, like you requested. Your job requires regular maintenance of the essential parts of the house. A Gardner and a mailman come occasionally. You'll also be residing here..." "What?" "Yes. In order to be fully efficient you can't afford to commute every day. Trust me it'll be much easier if you lived here." You sighed and wondered again if you were making a mistake in accepting this job. "You'll be receiving six thousand dollars at the end of every month..." Your eyes widened and your voice caught in your throat. "I'm sorry. Six thousand dollars?!" Taehyung smirked at your reaction. "At the end of every month." He paused. "Do you have anything to add?" You cleared your throat. "The-the pay for this month, can I receive it now? Like up front? I really need the money. I promise I will work for the full month I owe." Taehyung narrowed his eyes before placing a piece of paper before you. "That's a contract. Sign it." You carefully picked up the contract and signed it, sealing your fate. Taehyung smiled. "There. With that you can't run away. We will catch you if you dupe us." You gulped. "I'll speak to the CEO. The money will be forwarded to your account before the end of the day." You smiled brightly as tears brimmed in your eyes. All your money problems had just been solved in under an hour. "Thank you so much." You gushed, extremely grateful. Taehyung smiled a boxy smile at you, almost as if he was as excited as you were. "Anything else?" He asked. You sighed. "When can I start?"

❇️❇️❇️

"YOU WHAT?!" Namjoon yelled at you after you briefed him on your new job. "Y/N..." "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before I decided this Namjoon, but I really need this. You know that." "Yes, but..." Namjoon ran a hand through his brown hair. "Forget all jokes now. I've read a lot about CEO Park to know that he's hiding something. Something that could be potentially dangerous. Working for him.... Living in his house, puts you at risk. He could be some kind of secret mafia boss for Christ's sake!" You stared at Namjoon's concerned eyes and pulled him closer to you. You knew he was just worried about you , but you honestly thought he was just being paranoid. All in all, you couldn't blame him. You cared about him just as much to be paranoid if the roles were reversed. You planted a chaste kiss on his soft lips. "I'll be fine Joon. Really. I promise the second something seems off I'll quit immediately." You smiled at him and his expression softened. "Fine. But that doesn't mean I'm okay with it." "I know." "When do you start?" He grumbled, a sound you associated with a large, pouty bear. "Uh, tomorrow. Wanna help me pack?" He stared at you, incredulous. "Tomorrow? But shouldn't they at least have given you some more time to pack?" "I chose to start tomorrow. Better to get it over with as soon as possible right?" Namjoon shrugged as he picked up a pink bra, scrunched his face and tossed it aside. "Can't argue with that." He said as you grabbed the bra and stuffed it into your suitcase. "Trust me Joon. It'll be over before you know it. Oh and by the way, you should see his house. You'll love it."

❇️❇️❇️

You stood up from your crouched position and stretched your back. You had already successfully moved into the CEO's mansion and had been working for a week now. You saw taehyung regularly, he always popped in with a smile and the excuse of ' fetching some documents' when you knew he was probably checking up on you, obviously at the CEO's orders. Said CEO had not shown his face in the house since you arrived. You hadn't even seen his car in the driveway, not that you would notice anyway, with the fleet of cars parked in it. It was always the same routine everyday, and it was exhausting, but the amount at the end of your Bank book made it totally worth it. It was actually a bit easier because you were on break and you braced yourself for the stress you would face once school resumed. You took one last look at your Bank book for encouragement before exiting your room to begin the days duties. You made your way downstairs to the storage room and passed by the front door. You stopped abruptly as you saw a pair of male shoes placed beside yours. Must be taehyung's. But he had left the previous night. And why didn't he let you know he was back in the house? When did he even get in? You rolled your eyes and shrugged off the thoughts. He probably had something else to take care of and it wasn't like he had to tell you each time he came in. You grabbed your equipment and made your way to the pool.

You pulled back the sliding glass doors and stared at the exquisite marble pool before you. You gently placed the cleaning equipment on the floor and was about to drain the water when you noticed a movement in the pool. "Taehyung?" You called out, as you cautiously approached the pool edge. There was no answer. You moved closer and slipped on the marble, tumbling into the pool. Now you hadn't meant to be so overdramatic, but your fall had caught you off guard. You thrashed and flailed in the water, your movements causing you to sink further in. Suddenly, strong arms gripped your sides and hoisted you out of the water. You felt the arms holding on to your sides and a pair of legs wrapped around yours to stop them from thrashing about in the water.

You sputtered and coughed, before opening your eyes and both your heart and time stopped. In front of you, with his arms around you was the most beautiful human being on the planet. His eyes were a deep blue and they stared at you intensely, his lips were plump and pink, and his blonde, wet hair matted across his face. The sunlight reflecting on the water hit his face and he shone. He sparkled like an angel and you became as dumb as a mule. He must have sensed that you were in shock as he put his arms around your waist and guided you out of the water and into the folding chair. He stared at you again, before grabbing a towel and he began to walk away. Your brain came out of autopilot right then and you scrambled to your feet. "Wait!" You yelled, and the man stopped, turning back to you, his eyes burning with curiosity. "Thank you for-for saving me. My name's Y/N. Who- who are you?" You sputtered out. "Y/N right?" His voice came out, soft and pleasant. "You must be the new house keeper. I'm your boss, Park Jimin."

❇️❇️❇️❇️

Part two will be out soon! Hopefully!.

Comments would be appreciated!!!

[xflower-childx]

Fuck this week has been a long one, I don't know if some planets are clashing or someone decided to curse me or what but damn. It's been a long few months honestly bit it feels like it all added up to the crash of this past week. I've learned A LOT from understanding being an Empath more and decipher my emotions and feelings from others and how I need to be smarter about who I allow around me and valuing myself more, knowing when I need to not let things just slide by to avoid conflict (Which as of yesterday could find me in court but try me bitch, I will take your trashy ass to court and serve it on the gold fucking platter mummy serves tea on to you.) It's been really tough to learn but I know I tend to just let things go that hurt me emotionally and it had to lead to actual physical damage from petty little bitches to learn that... But ya know, I'm stubborn.

I mainly wanted to get something written on here to touch on my anxiety though as I've noticed how much it has increased within the past month, little things have been flaring it up and I've had to step back to try and calm it down. My depression has been stable thankfully and only once did my brain start to fall down the wishing for lack of existence hole but it wasn't anywhere near the suicidal realm. It's only been anxiety. I had to call my mom from work the other day because British Bitch texted me and I felt my heart rate increasing and not being able to catch my breath or create any clear thoughts.

I know I have anxiety, I've had it since middle school, I've accepted, learned and grown with it. I've gained such amazing control and understanding with it, I'm proud of how have learned to notice when I feel it coming and what to do and how to handle it... But fuck these past few months I feel like I've lost all control and now the smallest things like the location of the milk frothing pitchers flare it up. I know that I have been feeling like my not only my mental and emotional safety has been at risk but also my physical safety is and that's something that has been messing with me hard... Which understandable a lot has happened and my dumbass unknowingly moved into a psychotic abusive controlling home. You live and you learn though.

But even through all this I'm still me and I look for the bright side and lessons of course. I've come to find that I'm best living on my own, I like my own space that is my own energy that is safe, comfortable and clean/cleansed. Now while I'm not in the position for that now I've been looking into vans/camper trailers to renovate into a home that I can take with me wherever (Portlandddd once the new bakery is up and running 💕 then wherever after 😊). Once I have that I won't have to worry about psycho roommates or feeling tied anywhere... But still having my own space. While this has been a dream forever I had really only thought it would happen with a partner and we'd be the cute couple renoing a van together (Cough Ky and Ari thanks for the couples goals 🤦‍♀️ cough) but I will still stick by if you want something you're gonna have to do it yourself cause no one else is going to do it for you. So my forever alone ass shall get a van or camper and make it cute and travel the world with it. Maybe I'll find someone along the way. Traveling is always more fun with a partner and easier, mentally, physically and emotionally. Especially when shit like this happens and you feel super alone and just want to hide away for a day or two. I've got my friends and family of course but ffs I have boundaries and just want to cuddle into a person that is my person and pretend I don't exist for a minute, is that too much to ask? Apparently the universe thinks so.

Now I know all this is temporary, I will figure it all out and come out of it smarter, better and stronger. I know that I just needed to deal with some shit to learn and grow because you won't any other way. I know I'm capable and strong enough to take this, I just gotta figure some shit out and trust that it'll all work out. I know that my spiritual guides have been screaming that at me during my readings... Heh. Control issuesss 🙃

Alright I'm done, I'm fucking tired and I need sleep to try and have at least a half way decent week with all this shit going on.

Until next time ✌️

[circular-time]

Hi! I'm trying to go through Classic Who and was wondering what some good serials to start off with would be, in your opinion? From a variety of Doctors, if that's okay.

Great question. It’s hard for me to boil 27 years into a quick watchlist, but I’ll do my best to give you a good sampler with good stories, watershed events, and most classic companions. I’ll boldface my top rec for each Doctor.

My suggestion is to try 2 top-recommended stories for each of the classic Doctors, and then watch more of whichever Doctor/companions catch your fancy.

Rec list below the cut: 

First Doctor

I always wrestle with where to start newbies.

Unearthly Child is such a good launch, especially the first half hour. It establishes that the Doctor has a lot to learn from humans! But if you find the later episodes of that story a bit draggy, it's okay to skip ahead to when the show hits its stride.Here:

The Aztecs (Barbara, Ian, Susan): First TARDIS team, classic historical, first to grapple with ethics of altering history. Excellent story.

The Romans (Barbara, Ian, Vicki): Lighthearted historical with a lot of moments to make you grin.

The Time Meddler (Steven, Vicki): Another fun one, first to introduce another Time Lord (although at the time, the showrunners hadn’t decided that the Doctor wasn’t human; the “Time Lord” concept was introduced in the second Doctor’s final episode.).

Second Doctor

I know this era the least, because almost all its episodes were lost when I was a kid, and I still need to catch up on recons and recovered stories. A pity, because Peter Davison, Colin Baker, and Peter Capaldi all look back to Patrick Troughton as their Doctor.

I’m still playing catch-up, but I warmly suggest:

Power of the Daleks (Ben, Polly) I’m not quite sure about this rec. It’s the first regeneration story ever, totally lost apart from the soundtrack, recently reconstructed using 1960s-comics-style animation. The visuals may not be your cup of tea, but it’s a good story. I guess this is another, “Try it, see if it works for you, and if not, move on.”

Enemy of the World (Jamie, Victoria) WATCH THIS. NO SERIOUSLY. It’s alarmingly topical, and Pat Troughton is amazeballs. Remember it’s 50 years old now.

The Mind Robber (Jamie, Zoe) a goofier, more lighthearted entry than most of my suggestions, but if you have a sense of humour, it’s a lot of fun. It reminds me that (a) Who was primarily a kids’s show smart enough for the whole family to enjoy and (b) early television was like watching a stage play;  you had to suspend disbelief, tolerate flat sets and basic props, and fill in the rest with your imagination. Our minds were the CGI of early TV.

Third Doctor

Three was my first Doctor, so from here on it gets difficult for me to be choosy.

Spearhead from Space (Liz, Brig) for sure; it’s the intro of the UNIT era and a good regeneration story. Keep in mind what a radical departure this was; not only was it in colour, but it was the first time the Doctor and companions had left at the end of one season and been replaced with an entirely new cast in the next. The Doctor was now Earthbound, working with UNIT. The Time Lords had just been established in the previous (10 episode long!) serial.

Inferno (Liz, Brig) is widely regarded and a heck of a story, with some unforgettable moments, but it’s another that’s about one episode longer than it needs to be according to modern tastes.

Terror of the Autons (Jo, Brig, Benton) introduces Jo AND the Master. Good story. Watch it. :)

The Three Doctors was the tenth anniversary special, and I love it, goofy monsters, ham acting, campy villain and all. William Hartnell passed away not long after.

Fourth Doctor

This is especially hard to pick and choose because Tom’s era spanned seven years, and he had so many good companions and watershed stories. You don’t have to hit all of these; I just have trouble choosing.

Genesis of the Daleks (Harry, Sarah Jane) for sure, introduction of Davros. Unusually dark but important story, a real watershed.

The Brain of Morbius (Sarah Jane) is a solid Four-era adventure introducing the Sisterhood of Karn and another problematic Time Lord. It’s not a pivotal story so much as “this is absolutely classic classic Who, and good entertainment.” 

Hand of Fear is Sarah Jane’s final story. It’s a good sendoff, even if the writers had forgotten she was a tough bird; she shrieks more than I’d like. The final scene is embedded in the hearts of all Whovians of my generation. Our Sarah Jane.

The Deadly Assassin (just about the only solo Doctor serial): I waffle on whether to recommend this because it’s slow in spots, but it probably did the most to establish Gallifrey canon of any story, since it’s the first story that takes place on Gallifrey. 

The Face of Evil introduces Leela. And you can skip it. No really, it’s simply a good adventure, and I hate for you to miss Leela altogether.

The Pirate Planet (Romana I, K9) is hilariously over the top, a farce penned by the inimitable Douglas Adams, author of Hitchhiker’s Guide. Bonus: drinking game with the phrase “MIISTER FIBULIIIII!” Except that might land you in a hospital, so never mind.

The City of Death (Romana II) contains a lot of running through the streets of Paris and Tom Baker and Lalla Ward flirting shamelessly. Nevertheless, it’s a good story with an unusually good secondary cast. A fan favorite. Watch for the John Cleese cameo!

Drat, that’s too many Tom Bakers already, so I guess I shouldn’t say Keeper of Traken. But I’m gonna, because I’m biased. (It’s Nyssa’s intro, a Shakespearean tragedy with an interesting villain. More importantly, Anthony Ainley, the next Master, plays her father.)

Fifth Doctor

Castrovalva is the best regeneration story. Yes, I’m biased, but that sequence with Peter Davison wandering around the TARDIS imitating the Doctors he grew up watching is a great intro.

Earthshock (Adric, Tegan, Nyssa) I haven’t given you any Cybermen stories yet, have I? Watch this one. I refuse to spoil why; I’ve already spoiled the first cliffhanger (it had been seven years since the previous Cybermen story, and nobody was expecting them).

The Five Doctors (Tegan, Turlough, and everybody else) is the 20th anniversary special that brought back as many Doctors, companions and monsters as it possibly could. Pure fanservice, but fun for all that. Plus more Gallifrey worldbuilding.

Caves of Androzani (Peri) is often voted the best classic Who story ever. Not sure about that, but the directing in this one is so much better than most of the era it hurts. Even if modern audiences are no longer used to characters addressing the camera; it was a convention back then.

Sixth Doctor

Poor Colin; I love his audios but I haven’t gone back and watched his TV serials since the 80s. The two I remember as especially good are:

The Two Doctors (Jamie, Peri) - Colin Baker collides with Patrick Troughton. Not to mention Jackie Pearce, who played the arch-villain of Blake’s 7.

Vengeance on Varos (Peri) - keep in mind that so-called Reality TV was almost two decades away

Seventh Doctor

I loved the quirky first season of the Seventh Doctor era, but most people don’t. Delta and the Bannermen (Mel) was apparently penned under the influence of recreational substances, and I love it, but again, most people don’t. Happiness Patrol is another “I love it, but most people don’t” story.

These are safer, quality bets:

Battlefield. (Ace) WATCH IT. NO SERIOUSLY. Last Brig appearance on classic Who. A+ would recommend, if nothing else for the fact that Who clued in to having a diverse (and good) cast. Watch for Ace’s gal pal of the week. ;) 

Remembrance of the Daleks (Ace) was originally meant as the 25th anniversary special. The Doctor returns to Coal Hill School for the first time since Unearthly Child. There’s Daleks and the famous Unlimited Rice Pudding speech. Ace kicks Dalek ass.

Survival. Last classic Who ever. A Master story. Ace’s gal of the week is none other than Lisa Bowerman (Big Finish director, also plays Bernice Summerfield) disguised as a furry. Despite the naff costuming, it’s a good story, and the scriptwriter was slipping in as much lesbian subtext as she could get away with in the 80s (according to an interview).

Eighth Doctor

By all means, watch the TV movie, despite its flaws. When it came out, my friends compained, “Stop trying to appeal to Americans by making Doctor Who more American! We’re Anglophiles!” And I lamented, “This is the opposite of Doctor Who: The FX are superb [well, they were then] but the dialogue is mediocre!”  Nevertheless, we all loved Paul McGann as the Doctor and were angry on his behalf that he hadn’t been given a better script to reboot the franchise.

My opinion of the 1997 movie has risen considerably over the years, but it’s still a bit rocky.

And of course you have to see Night of the Doctor, but it’s only seven minutes. Perfect Paul.

Edited to add: Nobody is grading you on your hobby. Or if they are, F ’em. You are allowed to pick and choose! There is so much Who now that it’s pretty much impossible to see, read and listen to all of it. Different eras of the show have different styles and appeal to different tastes. So watch what gives you joy. Just remember there are overlooked gems in every period.

[antiagingsol-blog]

THE BEST KEPT SECRET TO GREAT SKIN, ANTI - AGING TREATMENT FOR YOUNGER SKIN INSTANTLY

Trying to age gracefully may sound nice, but its not as easy as it sounds. Getting old can be a tough job, and it is one you do not get a vacation from. However, there are some things you can do to slow down and hide the effects of aging plus maintain your health during your senior years.

When you contort your face, you use muscles and increase the appearance of wrinkles. Although the effects would seem negligible, it can actually help a lot. You can pinch yourself to make sure you stop. It may help you to break that bad frowning habit.

Don't worry about numbers when thinking about getting older. Your age or your weight are numbers you should stop obsessing over. Let your physician focus on these things. Spend your energy focusing on other things.

It is natural to lose some abilities as we age. There will come a point as we age that we may lose the ability to take care of ourselves. When it comes to this time, it is generally a good idea to think about moving into a nursing home. While this might not be ideal for most people, it could be the best option. A nursing home or assisted living facility can provide the special assistance and medical care that is often needed in our later years.

Powder makeup and foundation plays a big role in making your skin look older. So try to avoid using it. This is especially true as you get older since the skin needs to stay even more hydrated. Try enhancing your looks with other types of make-up, like eyeliner and mascara.

Life is an incredible ride that you should enjoy. By setting milestones, as you set for your children years ago, you can start feeling the way you did years ago.

Maintaining hormonal balance is of increasing importance as people age. When your hormones are unbalanced, you will suffer from insomnia and even weight gain. As you age, these can lead to further problems. Go see a doctor to learn more about hormonal imbalance and what you can do to prevent it.

Eat a balanced diet. A diet loaded with plenty of fruits and vegetables with only a small amount of sugars and fats will keep you on the track to a balanced healthy eating plan. Making healthy food choices can improve your overall health and provide you with enough energy to stay vitalized throughout your day.

The risk of suffering from heart disease can be lessened if you cut back on the consumption of red meat and eat more fish instead. There are many unhealthy fats in red meat that can contribute to clogging of the arteries, and this can result in heart disease, as well as other illnesses. Fish is a much healthier choice of protein.

Avoid falling. Older people are very prone to injuries, sometimes even fatal injuries, due to falling down. You can improve your balance and become more physically fit by making an effort to take 30-minute walks, three days per week. To reduce the chance of fractures, increase your bone density by combining weight training, calcium and vitamin D.

Focus on the positive attributes of getting older as you return to a hobby or interest you had before. Now that you have time, you can focus on the interests that you may have been required to set aside to make time for your family or career responsibilities. Hobbies provide you an excellent conduit for engagement and interaction with pursuits away from your home.

Have you health care provider check your blood pressure on a regular basis or do it on your own at pharmacies that offer a free blood pressure machine. If you have high blood pressure you may not even know it, that is why they call it the 'silent killer'. With age, your body's systems do not work as efficiently, because of this, it is vital that you monitor your blood pressure. As long as you're keeping tabs on your health, you can be sure that any problems will be noticed and dealt with immediately.

Many people gain weight when they age. Retaining a healthy weight can diminish your risk of conditions like hypertension, certain cancers, diabetes, stroke, osteoarthritis, and more. You will be able to lose fat and stay thin, thanks to a better diet and exercise.

Savings is important for both retirement and health emergencies. You do not want to have your fun spoiled by an unplanned health problem you do not have the reserves to pay for.

Be sure to keep good medical records. By doing this, you will be able to show your new doctors your records immediately, instead of them having to order them from another medical facility.

The oil in avocado can do wonderful things for getting older skin. Avocado oil goes deep into your skin to moisturize it and prevent aging. The other beneficial component of avocado oil is the high amount of sterolins which can heal sun damage and fade age spots.

Learn how to love to laugh. Laughter and happiness nourish both the mind and the body, so it is important to ward off the effects of growing older by cultivating friendships and joyous experiences. You should watch amusing movies, read novels that you think are funny and see comedic acts in theaters if you want to keep yourself looking young and vibrant. So no matter what, laugh often and keep your mind filled with happiness.

If you are starting to feel the effects of age, see if it is your hormones. As we age, hormone levels are reduced and loss of libido, energy and endurance may result. It would likely be helpful for you to talk with a doctor about hormone therapy.

Keep in mind that getting older gracefully does not depend on fate or genetics. There is nothing simple about it. Choosing healthy options takes a lot of effort, and as you get older it's going to become harder and harder. Helpful hints like those in this article can make your aging process easier and help you maximize your results.

Look more interesting information click here:dermology anti aging treatment

 hi everybody welcome back to my channel and if you're a new welcome now I am sure plenty of beauty tips with you guys but I still have a bit of a beauty secrets up my sleeve that I have not yet shipped so today I want to let you in and a little secret now this is something that people have been paying hundreds of dollars to do but it is actually very simple it's very easy and it's something that you can do in the comfort of your own and your own time for next two buttons but the result is like a few hundred dollars well so for this secret you're gonna hand up with young fresh bright beautiful skin this secret is going to wake you up you're gonna look so glowing one of the reason why I'm doing this is because I'm very tired and I'm going to do it for myself so I let you share it so if you're interested in young bright fresh beautiful skin and you're gonna see you're just gonna see the difference in my face after doing this see now this is a very quick simple and easy recipe for to begin you're going to need a clean wash rag and we want a dry wash rag you do not want it wet for this to the treatment I'm going to be using just two ingredients and the first one is olive oil olive oil contains three major antioxidants vitamin E polyphenols and phosphorus and the accident when topically applied may protect the skin from premature skin aging vitamin E hardly accounts for the anti-aging benefits of olive oil because it's harvester skins movement and protects against ultraviolet light jalapao do not clog pores but penetrates deeply into the skin while providing a cleansing effect our second ingredient is coconut oil coconut oil is a powerful moisturizer that is beneficial to restoring dry or flaking skin coconut oil helps to strengthen skin pieces deeply and eliminate dead skin cells while absorbing quickly into your skin coconut oil also helps to delay the occurrence of the winter because it contains antioxidant vitamin E not protect conserve from damages over time so for this treatment I'm going to be using a quarter cup I'm going to use a quarter cup of coconut oil and this may seem a lot but we're going to need it and I'm also going to be using a quarter cup of olive oil so the next step is to warm the oil so I'm going to be pouring hot water in a second Bowl and I'm going to be placed in the bowl with the oils in the earth water be careful not to get any of the water in the bowl and I'm going to just spin it a bit and this is a easy way of warming the oil making sure that it don't get over it cretins so you want to constantly test it to make sure it's warm enough because you don't want it to be you wanted to be just warm just right so I do not recommend warm in this on the stovetop or even in the microwave it's best to warm it on let's say a double boiler are as easy as the way of doing it right here so here is our oil you want to test this to make sure it's not too hot and once it's good you're going to take care of rock you're going to fold it like this and you're going to dip it in now what we're trying to do we're trying to soak up the oil turn it around which is one so we're going to open it this is going on you really want to make sure that this is just warm for the face we're not trying to use hot oil here we're using warm toys so looking good we're going to try to distribute it a easy way to do that is to do this fold it in and then you're going to give it a little squeeze not try to squeeze out the ball we just try to saturate the entire wash rod and once we have that done this is it and your face is near what are you gonna do you want to press it on you want to make sure that the oil is touching the face so so you're going to make sure that your face is completely covered with the oil okay I just remove mine just to show you so when you put the wash rock on you want to make sure you press it in and during the time that you are relaxing on every two to three minutes you want to press it practice presence so I'm going to be back with my results in 50 [Music] after removing your treatment clot you want a user and you going to massage your face you choose to leave it on your face like this / light careful of your pillowcase or if you think it's too much you could use a tissue and you could remove the excess make it easy like this and removing the excess you're not going to be rubbing you're just going to be packing it oh this treatment is best done in the evening and for this night you're not going to use your regular moisturizer you're not going to use anything on your face just the oil that is there from your treatment and you're going to go to bed next morning they should be looking bright glowing radiant and your skin should be looking just perfect but there you have it thank you all for watching remember to give the video a thumbs up if you liked it also commend comment and if this is the first time watching subscribe on your way out and I will see you all in my next video bye bye [Music] yes

[thisismypersonalsanctuary]

12/14/16

G: Alex I've worked hard to think is over this past week. I love you and haven't ever felt this way but this is all too much. The next steps are something that I want but just not right now. We're in our early twentys because we care so much about each other it's gotten really serious. I'm just not ready for that. I'm sorry. You deserve someone who's 100 percent ready and not hesitating at all. This really is the hardest choice I've ever made. I might regret this for the rest of my life. I don't know. But I also know that I'd regret hurting you even more down the road. I can just see it. You're too special and I just have to be honest. I'm not happy like I was with you. Now it's more fear and nervousness. It's a lot harder now. I will never forget and always cherish this last year. I think you do but I just hope you can understand where I'm coming from.

A: Greg I don't want the next steps right now either. Just because we care so much about each other doesn't mean that we are going to have those next steps so soon. I'm not even thinking of the next steps, I'm just thinking of having a relationship with you. That's it.

A: All I want is to spend time with you and be like how we were this past year. It was the best year that I've had. Just getting dinners, going for a drink, watching movies. The simple things. I'm not thinking about any future steps. I'm just thinking about spending time with you and being together because we care about each other.

G: I want that too and love the past year we've had but it just makes me nervous and depressed because I just do what going to happen. I don't know what I want. You don't need that in your life. I just want to figure my life out. This stage of my life seems so complicated and I don't know what to do. I think this is for the best. I m sorry

A: I don't think it's for the best. You worry about something that you don't know will happen, and I don't think that it will. I want to be there to support you and help you through the tough times. I will be your biggest supporter and can understand that. We always come back to each other, and there's a reason that we do that.

G: It's just not that simple. I don't want help. I just feel like if I'm in something I should feel something different than I do right now. Idk how to explain it but I just am not ready.

A: I'm not ready for the other stuff either, Greg. I can't imagine being at that. But I also can't deny that we have something so special, we're compatible emotionally and sexually, and there's a reason that we come back to each other.

A: You have depression and anxiety, and I get that. And I know you'll push me away because of that, but I'm telling you that I'm not going to go away because of that. I love you even with those factors. It's who you are.

G: I can imagine it and I just feel like I should feel different. I love you too and have been crazy in love this past year but I just feel like my window is closing to have fun and be young and I'd hate to look back and hate myself for it. Even though you don't think so at this age relationships are so much pressure. They should be. This isn't care free dating anymore and it shouldn't be.

A: I'm not asking you to stay in and not have fun. You can have fun while you're in a relationship and I want you to do that, I want you to have fun with your friends and family and me. You're not gonna hate yourself for being in a relationship with someone that cares about you and loves you just like you care about them. You have someone that is willing to do anything for you and that's what I want. This past year wasn't a hard relationship for us. We had rough times obviously but it wasn't as hard as some people have it. I can't just let you go. You've told me before that you push away the people that you care about and that care about you and I can't let you push me away.

G: I'm sorry Alex. It's not your fault. I've been seemily no stop in a relationship. I just need time to figure my life out and I can't do that. I'm a bad bf and have a constant background of feeling pressure and then feeling like I'm a disappointment. This isn't Normal. I just feel like I can't breath. I just can't do this the right way right now. I'm just not happy.

A: You're the farthest from a bad boyfriend. You're all I could imagine in a boyfriend. I don't ever want to pressure you and I haven't ever felt disappointed in you. Just answer this. Do you love me?

G: I do but just can't keep doing this to both of us.

A: You're not doing anything. Not being with me does a lot more harm. Be with the person that loves you just as much as you love her. Take it slow and easy and the rest can be figured out. I never wanna take the fun out of your life.

A: Love can be easy and fun and carefree and that's what I want it to be with us. It's been like that and it can get back there.

G: I just need to figure myself and my life out first. I can't take all this on at once. The pressure is too high from everywhere. I'm sorry Alex. This is just all too much.

A: Greg I can't let you go.

A: What if we just keep doing what we've been doing and just take things slow? Spend time with each other but have no pressure. I can't not be in your life and being without you hurts me so bad.

G: That just drags out the pain. It hurts me too Alex. I hate this but it's the right thing to do.

A: I don't think it is.

A: I can't just let you go.

G: This is the toughest choice I've had to make.

A: Then don't make it. Let's try and see. I want to work on it. Don't let go of something so good that kills us both.

G: We've been trying. I'm so sorry.

A: No we haven't. We have something that neither of us can deny and it's gonna be hard but I can't let that go.

A: This hurts us so let's save us the hurt and try together.

G: We have been. I have. It just hasn't changed anything or how I've felt lately.

A: We've been going through a rough time. I know that we can be okay and work on it. Just spend time with each other and work on it.

G: It's not about that. I know we could work on things I just can't right now. It's all too much at one time.

A: Why can't we just spend time with each other like we have been? These past few months haven't been that bad. I wanna be with you.

A: Living a life without you in it kills me.

G: They haven't been great for me Alex. We both just stand at different spots.

G: These past few months have been the most stressful and thoughtful months so far.

A: I can't be without you.

A: How can you talk about taking me out for my birthday and then do this? All the places we've talked about going to together. All the things we've said we wanna do. How can you mention doing all of those things and then turn around and do this? Literally rip my heart out of my goddamed chest and just crumple it in your hands.

A: Being with you is all I've ever fucking wanted. Since I was a sophomore in high school.

A: And my grandpa is in the hospital for a stroke. Just add that to my day.

G: And it's all I've wanted and we tried it. I meant all those things but decided I need to make up my mind. It's not right to keep going with all these doubts. I'm just trying to be honest with what I want and how I feel. This isn't easy for me Alex.

G: Alex I'm so sorry! Is she okay?

G: Omg I'm so sorry Alex.

A: No. This isn't okay. None of it is.

G: Alex I'm so sorry. I really wish you all the best. Really

A: No. You really don't.

A: You literally couldn't give a single fuck about me.

A: How can I love you so much and it not be enough.

G: I do give a fuck. It's not your fault. It's not so black and white.

A: No you don't. If you cared then we would be together. Nothing is black and white, life isn't black and white. But when two people love each other, they be together. You push me away because I care about you and you don't think that you deserve that. For some reason in your head, when someone cares about you, you push them away and that's what you're doing to me.

G: Idk what to say Alex.

A: This is what you said to me in 2013, so it’s been over 3 years. You pushed me away and wanted to be alone. And you regretted it, you said that you can’t believe that you let me go. It took a while for me to fully forgive you and give you a chance, but I did and it was the best decision of my life. You feel in your head and heart that you don’t deserve the care and love that you get from people, even from me. But loving you is so easy. It’s as easy as breathing. I don’t have to think about it. Nothing in life easy and nothing is black and white. It’s hard but that’s life. When two people love each other, they are together because it’s worth it. Pushing people away, especially pushing me away, is doing nothing but destroying both of us. I know that you have depression and anxiety, and it makes you believe that you don’t deserve the care that you get from other people, but you do deserve it. Especially from me. It’s not easy and I understand that, but you deserve the love that you receive. You are soo easy to love.