#even Mic now understood that it's really is him in a way ending his arc from back in Tartarus with Aizawa

[buttercupshands]

wait a minute

stop.

stop it.

[class1akids]

The Remedial arc is criminally underrated -

- fight me. I can’t wait it to be animated... It packs a bigger punch in character development in a few short chapters than the endless Overhaul arc. It shows that you don’t need edgy fights, new power unlocks -  the plot can be lighthearted and serious at the same time and your characters can show growth..

I mean, just think about all the things shown / implied:

1. Aizawa / UA teachers

Aizawa has been spending every weekend until this point escorting Bakugou and Todoroki to their courses. And even in the wake of the big Overhaul fight, he thinks about asking All Might AND Present Mic to take them. He wants them to have both emotional support and be safe.

I was so glad to see this. I honestly missed Aizawa’s reaction to two of his top students failing and all this implies to me that the teachers did care and were eager to support Bakugou and Todoroki.

Things turning out this way provides a chance for All Might build a closer relationship with those two (I’ve been long wanting to see All Might’s relationship with other students).

At the time of the provisional licence exam, I really felt that the exam rewarded mediocrity and lack of risk taking. Yes, Todoroki and Inasa screwed up badly, but it’s a fact that the two of them held back Orca and his gang, which allowed the others pretty smooth sailing through the exam. I guess it makes sense to be strict, because those with the greatest power can cause the greatest damage too, if they don’t keep their head straight. But it felt like the Commission and Gang Orca recognized this, as they give a special assignment to Todoroki, Bakugou and Inasa. 

2. Shouto

The Provisional Arc showed that he still had things to work through coming to terms with being Endeavor’s son. He’s so clearly bothered by his father showing up: but I love how much more he’s worried for All Might’s sake than his own. Poor boy is so used to Endeavor endlessly embarrassing him...it hardly fazes him anymore, but he’s super-protective of Toshinori’s weakened form.

When Endeavor yells at him to show how he’s above everyone, for a moment he regresses, going back to defining himself only in opposition to his father.

 Which unsurprisingly doesn’t work with the kids. As unfair it is, the world is not interested in what he isn’t, only what he is.

But as he works with the kids, he slowly finds his footing and expresses himself through his ice, but not as an icewall to block off his emotions, but something as a fun-loving person

 and his natural kindness just starts to shine through.

This is how he becomes truly the antithesis of Endeavor by using his power to express himself as someone who doesn’t want to stand above everyone, but who wants to connect instead. 

He does it in front of his father’s eyes, not to spite him, but to show him a better way of interacting with children (imagine if Endeavor instead of cruelly training Shouto would have tapped into his playfulness and nurtured his quirk and spirit that way...)

Shouto also shows incredible restraint when Endeavor comes up with his new goal - not the greatest or strongest - but a hero his son can be proud of. Shouto doesn’t tell him to go get lost, and that’s already more than his father deserves.

He was able to work through his resentment and not allow it to hold him back anymore from expressing his true self. 

3. Bakugou

There is so much growth Bakugou displays here. He obviously spent a lot of time thinking where he went wrong and it seems like he’s finally found some answers.

As much as he still plays tough with Todoroki, he actually cares about him and notices his discomfort.

He’s displaying unprecedented empathy as he accepts Todoroki’s point of view on how to deal with the kids over his own. 

He’s able to see his younger self in the bossy kid, and impart some wisdom on him (wishing perhaps that someone told him these things when he was young).

He also accepts not being in the spotlight and doing for the team whatever they need him to be (clean-up crew). 

4. Endeavor / All Might

After so many years as colleagues, it is only now that these two really talk. And it turns out to be quite different than their chat during the Sport Festival.

It feels that so much changed inside both of them since Kamino. All Might seems to have accepted his loss of power and is able to contemplate objectively his past choices. There is no bitterness or regret, but there is an understanding that it was far from perfect.

Endeavor also seems to have matured a lot. Becoming No 1 made him realize that it’s not the end, but only the start of the road of living up to the responsibility that position brings. Endeavor feels on his own skin how ill-equipped he is to be the kind of inspiration All Might was.

In the end, him turning for advice to the man he spent his life hating and All Moght giving him encouragement shows that they are aware that this thing they are fighting for is greater than both of them.

But I think, to a large extent it is watching Shouto that changes Endeavor’s perspective. Shouto taps into instinctively into this idea that the next generation is something to be cherished and lifted up. 

That in the end, it’s your actions that show who you truly are. Shouto finds a way to inspire them without trying to break their will, something Endeavor never understood. But as he came wanting to steer Shouto back towards the path he wanted for him, he leaves simply telling Shouto that he’s proud of the person he became and he wants to be someone Shouto can be proud of as well. It’s a fundamental shift - realizing that respect is earned through actions, not titles. 

5. The Shiketsu crew

I was not a fan of Inasa back in the Provisional Licence arc. Not only how he screwed things up for Shouto, but I also disliked his childish naivete. He seems to have grown so much - his earnest enthusiasm, and big-puppy nature didn’t change, but he realized that the only reactions he can control are his own. 

No wonder that Shouto warms up to him by the end...

Camie - she’s such a great addition to the Disaster Squad. Being a bit older, she can tease circles around the guys and even makes Bakugou laugh. That’s talent right there.

Even Seiji, aka meatball guy seems to have come off his high horse by the end of the exam. 

It’s a great arc, full of goodies. And I hope we’ll get a reunion of the Disaster Squad at some point.

My BNHA meta

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 165: The Baby-Sitters Club

Previously on BnHA: The kids began their supplementary lesson for the day. Tired Mera (upgraded to his final form from just plain old Mera) introduced Camie from Shiketsu and said she would be joining the lessons moving forward. Gang Orca showed up and flung Bakugou, Todoroki, and Yoarashi around some just for the hell of it before announcing that the three of them plus Camie would have a special assignment for the day. Cue the arrival of about 25 screaming children. They immediately set upon the lot of them and stole Bakugou’s grenade gauntlet and piled onto both Todoroki and Yoarashi and we’ll probably never see either of them again. Present Mic got all hyped up and stole Mera’s mic to start narrating all of the action. Meanwhile, Endeavor quietly asked All Might just how the fuck one goes about being a Symbol of Peace anyway.

Today on BnHA: The babysitting squad struggles to figure out how to “win the hearts” of this vicious group of six-year-olds. Bakugou proposes that they single out the kids’ leader and break their spirit to establish dominance. Inasa tries to bond with them. Todoroki tries to show the kids what kind of person he is by giving a five-hour oral presentation of his entire life story up to this point. Shockingly, none of these approaches is very effective. Meanwhile Endeavor opens up to All Might (I know guys, shit’s crazy) and says he’s obsessed his entire life over trying to be stronger than everyone else, but he knew from the start that he would never be able to top All Might. All Might says that he simply wanted to be a symbol the people could believe in to give them hope and help them not to be afraid. He says that he and Endeavor are different and that Endeavor should try to find his own way of doing things. Meanwhile the babysitting mayhem continues as the kids face off against the young heroes and activate their quirks.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 187 now, so any ETAs will reflect that. I accidentally spoiled myself for something huge related to Deku and I’m so mad lmao. so now I’m going off on a frustrated reading binge and so help me god I will catch up with this manga if it kills me.)

our new squad!

“win the brats’ hearts” omg

I’m telling you guys, Kacchan has this in the bag. he has so much experience with being a brat. he knows how to reach the hearts and souls of brats. he is a natural leader. like Steve Harrington before him, he is a babysitting legend and doesn’t even know it yet

that’s it Katsuki. assert your authority. remember, they can smell fear

how did they get both of them??

this boy fought off six grown villains at once, and yet he has been completely outmaneuvered by four preschoolers in a matter of minutes

and yet, please note how even as he tries to get this under control and also finds the time to yell at Todoroki (who makes an excellent point btw), he effortlessly dodges this one kid who was trying to sweep his legs

Camie is all “I have no idea what to do next” and over in what has now become the announcer booth, Present Mic is all “I can just tell they have no idea what to do next”

he can just tell

now he’s handing the microphone over to the sobbing kindergarten teacher so she can clarify what exactly the hero kids’ task is here

“basically I want them to do my job for me k thanks byyyyyyyyyyye”

so she wants them to inspire these kids somehow

wow Shouto and Inasa are so moved

meanwhile Bakugou is just like (╬◣益◢)

well at least he’s motivated. you really want to go get yourself flung around by Gang Orca some more huh

now he’s ranting about how this is what happens when the teacher fails to carry out their role as the leader of the kids, and that the kids have sensed that weakness and taken advantage of it

and that somewhere out there is an alpha kid “who sets the mood for the rest of the class” and they just have to find them

like you, you little thug? speaking from experience are we?

he knows just how to deal with them once they find them too

this is all very Lord of the Flies

and now he is demanding that the strongest child come out to fight him lmaooooo

and he’s being called out by the Monoma child

more like he never mentally matured past the age of six. this right here is the lawless jungle of schoolyard politics. your civilized rules have no place here

the kindergarten teacher is asking Mic if this is really going to be all right lol

and actually, Mic seems to have a surprising amount of faith in Bakugou, stating that he’s “just doing a little side show” that’s all

yep. sure he is

meanwhile Camie is informing Bakugou that delinquents are out of fashion

and he’s all “WELL THEY SHOULDN’T BE”

delinquents in general are, but Delinquents With A Heart Of Gold are still as popular as ever, so you’re good, Kacchan, don’t you worry

now Inasa’s stepping up to the plate!

he says the fast track to becoming best friends is just to get to know each other. I assume he also turned to wink at Todoroki and I just missed it

“who wants to be a hero?! raise your hand!”

ooh, it’s working!

CAN HE FOLLOW THROUGH?

wow he’s a natural

okay in all honesty, Inasa would be a great dad. frankly, looking at his performance here just drives it home how absurd it is that he didn’t manage to pass the provisional exam the first time around. he has all of the qualifications and then some. it’s just that he’s Dumb

holy shit

THESE KIDS ARE CALLING THEM OUT LEFT AND RIGHT

looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off againnnn nnnn nnnnnn... *ping*

at this point should I be concerned for Todoroki

like, I’m starting to sense a pattern here

so now Inasa’s smashing his head onto the ground in his trademark deep bow from a standing position, and apologizing to the kids and saying he had no right to preach at them from his high horse

Camie is all “wow these kids are pretty fucked up huh”

and Bakugou is all “THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING”

he says sometimes you need violence to “put ‘em in their place” and that’s how he was raised

oh boy. so this is why everyone is all “Mitsuki is abusive”, isn’t it

goddamn you Horikoshi and your throwaway lines. does this mean I’m gonna have to do a Mitsuki meta after all

well for now I’m just gonna say that I don’t believe this line is meant to imply that Bakugou is being seriously abused at home in any way. it’s like... this, to me, is the same as when they had him all chained up on that podium at the end of the sports festival arc. something that was done for comedic effect. like, yes, if this was real life, that would be pretty fucked up and would definitely warrant some looking into. but this is a shounen manga where they had children battle each other to the point of unconsciousness for sport, and everyone was cool with it and cheering them on. when Bakugou says he was raised in a violent household, it’s clearly meant to be comedic sitcom violence where no one actually gets hurt. I’m not saying it’s not something that can’t be interpreted more deeply, because that’s half the fun of reading a manga. but I’m just saying that I myself am choosing to take it in the more zany/cartoonish tone in which I believe it’s intended, because in this case I think reading too deeply into it would lead to projecting issues onto Bakugou’s character that I don’t actually think are there. giving him angst I don’t think he actually has, in other words

I don’t think I’m doing a very good job of explaining this, though, so like I said, I really will end up having to post that meta I think

(ETA: so yeah, I posted that yesterday. thank you for everyone who took the time to read my rambling thoughts on this very touchy subject!)

anyway!!

meanwhile this kid absolutely was abused at home, though, and that’s a certified fact. and this is what he has to say about that

and immediately Bakugou is thinking back to the conversation he overheard at the sports festival

oh my god

this fucking kid omg

just. look at this shit though. he understands immediately that Todoroki is referring to his own violent upbringing, and he’s like oh snap, and then he actually backs down in his own way and doesn’t try to argue the point and is just like, fair enough, why don’t you give it a go then

and yet the way he does it is just. so exquisitely obnoxious. “let’s see... how can I try to be understanding, but like, in the rudest fucking way possible”

just. it’s magnificent. dammit Katsuki why are you like this

oh hey we’re cutting back to Endeavor and All Might

Endeav says he’s entrusted everything to Shouto

he says that he had already climbed to the number two spot when he was only twenty years old, and that he immediately understood that number one would always be out of his reach

okay, gonna press pause for a second now here. so just a reminder that we know Endeavor is 45 years old. maybe 46 now, idk. anyway though, so this means that he’s been the number two hero for 25 years. and that means that All Might must have been active for at least the same amount of time, and that he was already number one even 25 years ago. not just that, but he was well-established enough that Endeavor already knew he would never be able to beat him

so the question is, how long do we think it took All Might to become that established. could he have done it just two years after graduating U.A.? I think in all likelihood this means he’s probably a little older than Endeavor. I really can’t see him as any older than 50, though, so it’s hard to say. maybe he just ages like Paul Rudd. at any rate, he has obviously been around for quite a while

(ETA: to add onto this, we know from chapter 185 that no one had ever reached the top 10 as a teenager before Hawks did. so at minimum All Might would have had to be at least 20 years old before he became #1. so yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and say he’s definitely older than Endeavor by at least a little bit. honestly would it kill Horikoshi to go ahead and give this man an official age already.)

anyway, Endeav says he didn’t just want the title (which is obvious enough, given how he reacted when it was just handed to him following All Might’s retirement). otherwise he could have just gone around “foolishly smiling at everyone” the way All Might did

okay man, if you’re seriously trying to change your ways though, you might want to start with reconsidering that particular part of your attitude there

(ETA: though it seems his fans don’t like when he does this lol. no one wants a friendly neighborhood Endeavor apparently)

anyway, so yeah, he says he wanted to be the strongest

All Might’s saying this isn’t like Endeavor at all, and Endeavor is all “>:( JUST TELL ME THE ANSWER ALREADY”

All Might says he has no idea what to say to him. but All Might is a fucking liar, because you just know he’s about to go off into inspirational speech mode though

yeeeeep

basically he just tried to be a good, strong hero who could reassure people that everything would be okay. he won their trust. the reason why Endeavor is struggling is because no one trusts him in that same way. he’s just not a reassuring guy. people don’t feel safer just with him being there. he’s strong, yes, but more in a don’t-mess-with-this-guy way than a putting-your-mind-at-ease type of way. he doesn’t comfort people, he puts them on edge

anyway. while I went on my little tangent, All Might was continuing, and he mentioned how he ended up pushing away most of the people around him, and that was the path he chose

and there’s a flashback to Nighteye, and Endeavor is actually picking up on that

All Might says he know what kind of situation Endeavor is in and what people are saying about him

yeah we just got a nice demonstration of that less than a chapter ago

he says people keep comparing the two of them, but that they’re different

hmm

part of me is like “because he already has another successor in mind lol”

but he’s saying that Endeavor simply needs to find his own way of doing things. “and there’s no need to rush it”

wow, where did this chill, no-worries attitude come from all of a sudden I wonder. I seem to recall the six-years-ago All Might shouting at Nighteye that he had to continue carrying on even as a wounded Symbol of Peace, because even a small interim without that symbol would be disastrous

but now we’re all “it’s cool man, you just do you and you’ll figure it out, no rush.” it’s not like there’s a whole league of villains out there plotting or anything

though on the other hand, All for One is currently behind bars, and as for Tomura, All Might currently thinks of him as “Shimura’s grandson, so he can’t be that bad! I just have to get through to the misguided little tyke.” so maybe we’re not on the same page right now as far as urgency goes

now Mic’s commentary is drawing their attention back to the Baby-sitters Club over here

this is it, Shouto. all eyes on you my man

I have no idea what’s about to go down, but Endeavor is again aggressively showing his support

honestly, it’s very possible that even if Endeavor had actually not been a dick this whole time and had actually tried to be a good parent before now, Shouto would have still come out of it traumatized. Endeavor strikes me as the kind of guy who would have signed Shouto up for Little League and worn a shirt with his face on it to every single one of his games. “THAT’S MY SON!!! SHOUTOOOOO! DO YOUR BEST!!”

is that your dad, the other kids ask. in mortification, baby Shouto creates a little igloo with his quirk and ends up just hiding in there and refusing to come out for the rest of the game

you guys

I feel like. he actually has no clue what to do next

he’s thinking to himself that first he needs to show them what kind of person he is, and until he does that “everything I say will fall on deaf ears”

...please don’t break your arms. felt like I needed to say that. this is not a “what would Midoriya do” type of situation. he would get punched in the nuts is what

sfdalhkdhf

I fucking can’t with this dramatic fucking family

lol what

this is “showing them what kind of person you are”??

and the kids are not having it omg

lol he’s apologizing

YOU BLEW IT KID

lmao Camie is all “it seems like the three of you have been trying to do things the normal way this whole time”

not sure what chapter she’s been reading that she thinks all of this is normal

she’s suggesting that they use their quirks

you know what, I’m on board with that! because WHAT IS YOUR QUIRK, ANYWAY. I want to know omg

Kacchan is all “I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT”, but were you. were you really

but wow, though

who does this nerdy gung-ho take-charge analysis remind you of? because I’ll tell you, it reminds me of a certain gung-ho take-charge green haired nerd

oh my god they got in a huddle

this really is my new squad. omg. look at them formulating their nerdy gung-ho take-charge plan to take on these two dozen six-year-olds

meanwhile said six-year-olds are gathering their power

did this one kid really fucking unhinge his jaw and produce a fucking cannon wtf

and then there’s rabid Pacman kid, Akatsuki jacket kid who appears to be sprouting moss, triangle eyes kid who’s producing some sort of hula hoop wave, some kid with antennae who really has no business being all “OUR GENERATION IS BETTER” when all he has is a fucking antennae quirk, and lastly this sixth child who isn’t doing anything at all except hovering above all of the other children in such a way that I can’t tell if it’s just wacky panel design or if that’s actually his quirk

at any rate though, these kids better watch out, because these high schoolers appear fully prepared to Stoop To Their Level

can anyone tell what Camie’s quirk is from this panel. I can’t make out a damn thing. is this something where when I come back to look at it later it’ll be obvious and I’ll just be like “how the fuck did I miss that”

(ETA: oh man you guys. I can’t fucking wait for tomorrow’s chapter lol)

anyway. we all already know that Bakugou will take virtually any challenger seriously whether it’s Deku, Ochako, All Might, a bunch of villains, or Deku again. so it’s not all that surprising that this would extend even to a bunch of literal grade-schoolers

but what is surprising is that the others are following his lead here. well, maybe not so much surprising as just hilarious

why don’t you come down here and try your hand at it then if you think you’re so smart, Mic

he’d probably just offer to sign autographs and then wind up devastated when they don’t all fall over starstruck because none of them listens to the radio

will our heroes be able to impress the group of jaded small children?? will they actually end up resorting to violence after all and to hell with Todoroki’s earlier objections?? will we ever find out what the fuck is wrong with these kids’ parents?? STAY TUNED

once again there is no bonus page. there’s only one more of them (since I always skip the staff introduction pages), and it goes with chapter 167 I think. but it doesn’t matter much since this recap is already super fucking long good god

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep recap 6x06

Due to a rather unfortunate run in between my laptop and a glass of water I lost my original ramble for this week’s Younger (as well as the actual laptop so R.I.P Lappy, you were actually pretty terrible but we had a good run). So instead of my usual review I thought I’d do more of a recap and refresher of the last episode to get us prepped, primed and pumped (aka the 3 P's) for the next installment (ep7).

Episode 6 of Younger was in many ways so bonkers that it shouldn’t have worked, but somehow all the pieces came together and it did .Oh boy did it ever! I outright belly laughed a number of times throughout and I think my dog was mildly concerned for my well-being because there were actual tears coming out my eyes at a couple of points. I’m a sucker for a pun so ‘Merger, She Wrote’ had me at hello (you could say my hopes for the ep were high...yes I did and #notsorry). What I wouldn’t have given to be in the room to see the reactions to a script with ‘Liza goes to talk to the nurse who is actually a plant’ in it. So yes there were LOLs galore but most importantly, by the end of the ep order had been restored following the upheaval of the past 6 episodes (which is about the limit viewers can take sitting in the discomfort of an unfamiliar detour from the norm IMO: think the Bryce Reiger arc in season 3 and the Charles finding out the lie in season 5...it’s almost as though Darren and co. have done this before...), Finally the fam is back together at Millennial (or is it Mercennial now?)

Straight off the bat I was very distracted for most of the opening scene by Liza’s dress and look in general because it was AMAZING.  I am loving all the Maggie/Liza in the morning scenes we’re getting this season and Maggie in a blue coverall embarking on a DIY rope harness ceiling painting project...what could possibly go wrong? I felt mildly uncomfortable at how relatable Maggie’s not being served for 10 mins in a bar and sneaking out to the fridge in the night were, but was also mildly mesmerized by Liza’s coffee mug that looked like some kind of old-timey wash basin (turns out this was not relevant to the story but noted nonetheless). Maggie also offers the very straight forward solution of merging the two companies to alleviate the tension that’s putting Liza and Charles in ‘not a good place’ and I love that her ‘bing, bang, boom’ is echoed by Liza when she floats the idea with Charles later in the ep. 

The' Microdosing' book pitch provided us with the set up for the retreat and my fave thing about this scene was how IN character all the characters reactions were to it all; Diana is flat out appalled by the whole thing, Liza is Captain Cautious but trying to play it cool and Kelsey looks like she’s seeing colour for the first time and would 100% pledge her devotion to Travis in any kind of cult situation.

What might have seemed out of character, but actually ended up so perfectly capturing the way she always does everything with absolute gusto, was Diana's foray into boomer erotica narration (as Liza so eloquently put it, 'I think we just found our Seasoned Slut'. These lines, I swear *rofl emoji* )  I think I laughed through the entire scene of Diana in the recording studio, I mean, Miriam Shor's delivery of every line just kills me, but the highlight was undoubtedly when she suggested she could hit nipple a little harder and affirmed  'throbbing nipple' to herself as she walked back to the booth. Zane and creepy af Audrey Colbert waiting allowed for Diana to unsubtly hot foot it out of there, which was a great throwback to her refusal to be in the same room as Audrey in ep 3.

It was a also great opportunity to bring Zane and Kelsey back together and who doesn't love an awks 'accidentally had the mic open and didn't realize' moment when you're talking about how your author is definitely a murderer? I feel like Audrey may go and find another publisher now (just a hunch) but I would really like to see more of her because this character is a type of unhinged that we haven't seen on this show and I think that could be a lot of fun to see play out. I have to say that Kelsey Peters is NOT someone I picked as a boop-er of noses, yet there she was at the bar, booping Zane's nose and this was my favourite interaction of theirs in the series. I was totally digging the dynamic this ep and it will be very interesting to see what that will look like with the new work arrangements. Also, where was Zane when that was all going down btw? I assume Charles filled him in on the bringing the companies together plan before it happened?

Liza's excitement when she told Charles the idea of merging the two companies was endearing and I am unabashedly a big fan of Charles, but his attempt at convincing Liza to join him at Mercury after she tells him that she won't leave Millennial and Kelsey, by saying he left his company to be with her, was super shitty. But it was also super necessary. Because at some point this needed to be said and most importantly, Liza needed to call him out on it and let him know that he cannot use it as a bargaining chip. One of the things I love most about the Charles/Liza dynamic (aside from all the things, but that's another essay) is that Liza is her own advocate in this relationship, she will stand her ground when something is important to her and does not compromise herself to appease Charles. He is equally as stubborn but they are able to have the hard conversations that need to be had but this doesn’t lead them to question whether they want to be together (I very much appreciated the kiss on the cheek Liza gave Charles before she left for this very reason).

So of course being on a psychedelics retreat together when they've hit a roadblock in the relationship was definitely a very good idea...Well it was for us as viewers at least, because pretty much from the moment they arrive and Liza and Charles start talking straight to camera as the literal doctor (my god that whole line just cracked me up) informs them they'll be taking not-LSD, we know we're not in Kansas anymore Toto. Enter Josh for *insert drama here* purposes (and I do think he should franchise Inkburg coz why not?) and we have, ladies and gentlefolk, a recipe for some next level hilarity. But not before Josh and Liza share a lingering look as they take their dose of illicit substance to ensure that Lizs's trip includes one down memory lane.

I have made my feelings about love triangles known many times (quick recap: hard dislike. Tricky to pull off without one or more characters looking bad. Very tiring as a viewer and quite frankly I am pretty lazy and tired most of the time irl so just don't want it on my screen), however I will say that I did not see this ep as re-stoking the love triangle, I saw it as simply reminding us that it is there and can be reignited by the writers at any stage. Within the context of everything that was happening, Liza hallucinating Josh at her door actually made sense and I have no doubt that various factions of Younger fans had meltdowns at that moment for very different reasons.. Sutton Foster's physical comedy throughout this whole ep was second to none, starting at her realization that it was, in fact, Charles who had come to her room and continuing the next morning at breakfast.

Speaking of which, there was something about seeing Liza and Charles in the breakfast room together that made my sappy heart swell, it had such a vacay feel and I'm sure if you muted your volume you could pretend they were just listening to the activities for the day before going off to spend some quality time together...I mean, maybe that would be a thing, I wouldn't know....where was I? Oh yes, the unfolding of a series of comedy golden McNuggets™ that I am still laughing about. We learn that Liza is a supertaster (for those like me who pretended they understood what that meant but then realized they did not, I googled it and it means that she is sensitive to the drugs and basically the microdose affects her like a full dose, you're welcome) and I am chuckling even now when I think about Josh's, 'hey guys' in Charles' voice as he joins the table.

This is another one of those concepts that I feel like could've not worked at all but sweet lawd, the Charles and Josh voice swap scene was next level and I could watch this and the scene that follows over and over and never not laugh. I again LOVE the decision to have the guys talk to camera because it absolutely emphasizes the whole situation and Liza sidestepping away to visit the nurse just rounded off the whole crazy caper.

I have no words to describe how much I love the flat out ridiculous perfection of the visit to Nurse Maureen. Yes Liza has the epiphany that Josh and Charles bring out different things in her (though hot sex seems to be at the core of both so ya know, sounds like a win in the past and present and good for her on both accounts) and again, the unlikely scenario that her ex and current boyfriends are in the same place at the same time (while she is taking mind altering substance) has just played out so it also makes sense in this context. Quite frankly I'm shipping her and Maureen pretty hard at this point because a) it is not easy to pull off eyeshadow that green and b) everyone deserves someone in their life who has the kind of belief in Liza that Maureen does when she tells her 'I bet you can' dance just like me. I don't even know how to explain whatever that dance is but I just know that I want someone/something in my life that will windmill their/it's arms at me with such fervor that I find myself dancing with two attractive men in tuxedos on a galaxy stage.

I cannot express the joy I felt watching the entire dance scene, it was all just so. much. fun. But my absolute hands down favourite moment was when it cut back to the retreat and we, along with Charles and Josh, discover that Liza is in fact dancing with 'Maureen' the plant and seriously, this is up there with my highlights of the entire series. That and the reveal that the selfies Liza was taking were sent to Diana (Diana speaking to Liza in her 'sexy' voice, asking 'where is my plant?', Liza's, 'Maureen', I just cannot with every part of this glorious tie in at the end of the ep. I am sending Ashley Skidmore a houseplant to express my gratitude for gifting us with these moments*). Seeing Josh and Charles together was great but it was clear a scene was missing and I am SO glad that Younger released the deleted conversation between the two of them coz it was both necessary because YES and also because it suddenly made Charles' entire conversation and reason for his decision to sell Mercury make sense (ie. was pretty pivotal).

I big A adored Charles and Liza's conversation (and outfits and aesthetic overall) as they're leaving the retreat, the shift in Charles is palpable and it's just such a credit to the writing and acting to be able to convey so much in such a brief scene. Maggie of course experienced quite the shift herself, from ceiling to floor, with a sufficient amount of dangling as her helpful neighbourly pervert got himself off as she got herself down. But most importantly, Maggie got her mojo back (though is she not currently dating Beth? In which case location of missing mojo: unclear).

Now I gotta tell you, the final scene of this week's ep up and got me. Big time. Kelsey's earlier comment, that she really hates competing with Charles, certainly added weight to the resolution we've all been waiting for this season. Charles' honesty about his realisation that he is hurting his family, not to mention him confirming that he means Kelsey, Diana and Liza and that he wants to come home, ugh, my insides are gooey just writing these words, leads to his offer to Kesley and honestly, the interactions between all of them in this scene was wonderful. I loved that Kelsey held the room, that Charles was putting the offer to her from one businessperson to another (though thank goodness Diana was there to point out the difference between $1 and $1000000 eek! Also, I get that it would never occur to anyone that the price would be $1 so I'll cut Kels some slack). Diana looks like she is going to cry at any moment from elation and I love the way Kelsey asks for the approval of the ladies before shaking Charles' hand. This will forever be one of my favourite scenes on this show.

The thought of Charles coming back and working as an editor alongside Liza is an actual dream. I mean, I am very happy to be taken on the journey the writers set, but I have legit wondered what it would be like to see him in that role and he and Liza working together properly as equals and I absolutely cannot believe it's going to happen.

Well this ended up being quite a bit longer than I expected (lol, what a surprise). Bring on episode 7!

*I will not in fact be sending Ashley Skidmore a houseplant because I live in a very far away country, it would cost a lot of money and it is 1000% creepy to receive a dead plant from a stranger. 

[letterboxd]

Most Picture.

There are many ways to predict how the Oscars will go. How much money is the studio spending on the campaign? How highly rated are the nominated films? How much work have nominees put in during the awards season? Is it simply their time?

For this 2019 horse race, we thought it would be fun to go for a different metric. A fool-proof statistical analysis to find not what is the Best Picture, but what is the Most. And with that, we set about investigating the stats on rewatches of the eight films nominated for Best Picture.

It turns out that plenty in the Letterboxd community have logged the Best Picture nominees more than once, and in some obsessive cases, well into double figures. We had a feeling, based on anecdotal mood and general noise, that A Star Is Born and Bohemian Rhapsody would be right up there in the stanning stakes. And they are (read on for our Q&A with Letterboxd’s most obsessive A Star Is Born fan). But also: The Favourite made the top three, and the film you have rewatched the most left the other seven in the dust.

Without further ado, Letterboxd presents the 2019 “Most” Picture Awards, ranked by the number of members who’ve watched the 2019 Academy Award Best Picture nominees two or more times (total in brackets, as of today).

Each film features a review from its greatest fan, i.e. the Letterboxd member who has logged the film more than any other (at the time of writing).

And the 2019 “Most” Picture Awards go to…

1. Black Panther (13,268)

“Would I see this movie a personal record high of seven times in theaters? For Wakanda? Without question.” —Krys (12 watches, seven in cinemas)

2. A Star Is Born (5,943)

“TIRED: discourse about whether or not the film hates pop music, all think pieces about whether the film thinks Ally is a sell out and what that means for feminism, discourse on whether Why Did You Do That? is a bop or not.

WIRED: discourse about whether or not Jackson Maine even had an ass good enough to inspire such pop perfection.” —Juliette (16 watches)

3. The Favourite (5,378)

“I miss this so much I dreamt it. Instead of riding, Sarah was doing cartwheels.” —CBotty (15 watches)

4. Bohemian Rhapsody (4,928)

“The critics can go fuck themselves. THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE I HAVE SEEN! (for the fifth time).” —Iain (16 watches)

5. Roma (4,270)

“Yes I’ve seen this twice today, yes i cried like a bitch both times, yes this is the only movie.” —Eve (7 watches)

“My feelings regarding Roma are complicated to say the least. It’s like dating the girl of your dreams, only to realize that you are completely incompatible, which ends in desperate clinginess for an ideal that was never true to begin with. It’s been a strange journey of love, disappointment, and eventual acceptance, where I’ve come to terms with my feelings. I still admire the hell out of it, and I hope it wins all the awards in the world.” —Orrin (7 watches, admittedly more times than they have actually seen it)

6. BlacKkKlansman (3,669)

“This movie is so fucking powerful, and I loved every second of it.” —Kota (6 watches)

7. Green Book (1,370)

“OK what a way to start the new year. I love this movie so much. Viggo Mortensen and Mahershala Ali are for sure going to get nominated (and it’s well deserved).” —Anthony (5 watches)

8. Vice (1,164)

“8.4/10” —Harrison (4 watches)

Unpacking the re-watchability of A Star Is Born.

“I just expect it to be exactly what it is and to be there.”

Of the eight Best Picture finalists, Black Panther has been out the longest, had the largest budget, and has done the rounds of the streaming services. It was always gonna take the top spot in a rewatch match. But to figure out the rewatchability of second-place-getter A Star Is Born, we went to the film’s hardest stanner, Juliette, to help us understand why fans keep coming back even though it’s a complicated watch.

While Juliette’s multiple reviews are meme-tastic, quippy, punctuation-free gems of observation, when we asked her to explain herself, she went remarkably deep. Her replies may just make you want to take another look at Ally and Jack. [Note: this interview contains spoilers for the film’s plot.]

How many times do you think you have seen A Star Is Born? Juliette: I think I have seen the film sixteen times? I know for certain I have seen it fourteen times in theaters, but I’m not sure how many times I’ve watched it in the comfort of my own home since it’s been released on digital. There’s just something about the energy in a theater while this film is being screened. It gives me chills just thinking about it!

What keeps you coming back to it? It's so hard to pinpoint what exactly it is that draws me back to this film time and time again. I love a good love story when properly executed! I’m kind of obsessed with celebrity culture! I love a great musical! And like many people, the subjects of this film: alcoholism, mental illness, suicide, self-doubt, the cultivation of the self, love, mentorship, and reconciliation of one’s experiences with a flawed parental figure are all things that have permeated my life. Some of these things, I understand and have a firm grasp on, they feel definitive and their impacts are a tangible output. Some of these things, I still grapple with daily. There is little definition, largely just confusion and sporadic outbursts of pain.

When I return to this film, which I often do, the thing I don’t expect it to give me is answers. I don’t expect the film to be able to define for me what I must come to define for myself. I don’t expect it to clarify my confusion. I don’t expect it to eradicate the pain. I just expect it to be exactly what it is and to be there.

There’s a scene towards the end of this film where, while mourning the loss of his brother, Bobby explains how he heard one of Jackson’s songs performed at a bar. At first, it angers him. He feels like no one really knew Jackson. But then, something shifts and just hearing the song begins to soothe him. It reminds him that, in spite of their trauma and their turmoil, it isn’t all for nothing.

That’s what this film is for me. It soothes me. It reminds me that the facilitation of our healing can come through art. It reminds me that for people, who once felt broken and irreparable, it is possible to find love and happiness not just with another person, but within one’s self. It reminds me that our pain and our devastation can be met in equal measure with (and even maybe be overcome by) our brilliance, our triumph, and our devotion to one another.

What have you noticed with each rewatch? What I notice most with each subsequent rewatch of the film is what a massive undertaking the sound editing and mixing for this film must have been. I have such deep and profound respect and admiration for all the work that went into crafting the audio for this film! The film is such a visceral experience, one that truly engages all of the senses. I remember physically recoiling in the theater the first time I heard the sound of Jackson’s tinnitus. I remember feeling my entire seat shake in time with the music during the concert sequences.

I also have a sincere recommendation! Once you watch the film a few times, I really encourage you to watch the film just through the lens of watching Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real in the background of the pivotal scenes. It adds so much dimension to scenes you thought you already knew!

What is the single greatest scene in this version of A Star Is Born? As clichéd or “basic” as it may seem to say, there is no denying that the greatest scene in this film is when Ally joins Jackson on stage and the two perform Shallow together. It’s a cataclysmic and mesmerizing moment.

It’s the way Jackson physically steps back and acquiesces his spotlight to new talent. It’s the combination of awe and support in Jackson’s eyes as he watches Ally assume center-stage. It’s the way Ally assumes her place at the mic for the first time. It’s how Ally—all at once terrified, shocked, overwhelmed, empowered, and free—finds a version of herself she had long thought impossible to access under the stage lights. The arc of which is punctuated by Gaga’s impeccable performance in this scene, most noticeably by the shift in her physicality, from her hands covering her eyes, unable to make eye contact, to grabbing the mic and belting her now patented cathartic wail.

It’s the way, two artists—no, two people—are separated physically on the stage singing into their individual microphones, but slowly find their way to meet in the middle and sing as one. In itself, this scene is the film in miniature. If this scene hadn’t worked, it’s very unlikely the rest of the film would have worked.

Not to mention, the scene is just absolutely stunning. Of course, the music is heavenly, that’s a given. In terms of the composition, I love how the camera moves around and captures each protagonist in different ways. And the color palette is gorgeous. The way that blue and red light dance around our protagonists throughout the sequence is just jaw-dropping. It’s the kind of high an artist, and in a turn a viewer, could spend their whole life chasing.

What do you wish haters understood about the film’s greatness? My first priority would be to tell the haters that Lady Gaga is not playing herself in A Star Is Born! Just because Gaga is a singer playing a singer, doesn’t mean she isn’t acting!

Furthermore, to me, it feels unfair that the power of her performance is sometimes diminished just because she sings in the film. Anyone can sing in a way that is technically proficient with enough training, but to tell a story through song? To act a song? To perform with every iota of your being musically? That’s a whole other skill and it is just as worthy of recognition and respect as any other leading performance this year.

Secondly, I would like to convey that just because something is a remake doesn’t mean that it lacks value or that it lacks something to say. I can’t pinpoint what exactly it is about this story that seems to capture the collective imagination every few decades, but I think it has something to do with how it presents ascension at the expense of descent, art as both artifice and freedom of authentic expression, and love in spite of sacrifice and self-destruction. There’s something about that cocktail that becomes the perfect receptacle for the expression and examination of our cultural anxieties.

Its malleable formula allows for questions to be asked about how we think about celebrity and fame, the self-identification process, and the value of art. In that sense, a remake of A Star Is Born is vital and refreshing, and certainly not tired and uninspired, and most importantly, it doesn’t lack something to say. It’s inherently reflective of the culture it was created in by its very nature. It allows us to ponder not just how Hollywood tells stories about itself, but also how we tell stories about ourselves. And if you ask me, there’s so much value in that.

What do you think should win Best Picture at this year’s Oscars? Well, I’m clearly biased towards A Star Is Born, but I would not be mad to see Roma or The Favourite walk off with the evening’s top prize!

What do you think will win Best Picture? My heart says Roma, my head says Green Book.

[lukeysgirl]

Earned the Attention | a.i

Anon asked: Could you do a cute (longish) Calum or Ashton imagine based on attention by The Weeknd , like you're famous and Calums lw ignoring you for a while, you guys fight, and then he does some cute smutt shit based on earned* it by The Weeknd. Then just cute apologies and fluff? Please.

Word Count: 3,500+

AN: sorry that it’s late, honey. please forgive me and enjoy this x (hope it doesn’t suck ahh)

I M A G I N E [SMUT]

Baby, you are so strong. Baby you are calm, you are so calm. 

“We can’t keep playing these games, Y/N.” A drummer boy’s voice was low, tame. More hoarse than usual, the exhaustion hitting him as time deepened the night. He arced his bare back, having you watch from behind as his muscles flexed. “It’s becoming too much.” 

“Ashton, they’re not games,” you whispered, grabbing more of the sheets to cover your raw body. Ashton merely glanced behind you, seeing you huddled in fetal position at the headboard of the bed. Your skin was kissed by the lights provided by the city before you, the curtains gone to reveal everything outside.

Tell me where it went wrong. Tell me how to love, it’s been so long. 

Silence emerged immediately, the only sound to be heard were repetitive messages bursting from both of your phones. You looked at Ashton, his curly hair a mess as his tone back was kissed by the city lights. He leaned his hands on the bed, barely straining his biceps as veins of greens and blues crawled up his forearms. It was difficult to see in the dimness of the room, but you had studied Ashton’s character for a while now. 

“I missed you,” you uttered, breaking the silence more powerful than sound itself. And it was true, you did. Striving two different lives in the same world was tough. His music guided him one way, and your fame gushed you to another. There was so much that texting and phone calls could do, but even touch was becoming bland. 

You wanted more. 

When a call’s not enough, and you just need to touch.

“But you’re missing too much, Y/N.” You hitched your breath, holding the near tip of your tongue as he looked distantly at the glass windows. He emitted a deep sigh, one that allowed air to escape through his lips and nose. “You’re asking for far too much. What the fuck more do you want?” 

“I want you, Ashton!” You pleaded quietly, clenching tightly on the fabric covering your body. Emotion was playing at your body, with goosebumps surging all over your arms and legs. Police cars came into sound as it passed by the hotel. 

“We just fucked, Y/N, what else can you possibly ask for?” Ashton spat, his tone more aggressive and cool. It was so much different than when you first met. The gentle kind boy with the wide smiles and the soft dimples. Kindness rolled off his tongue without him trying, with a face so gleaming and inviting every time he laughed. Those times were the times where you felt the warmest. 

Thinking twice on my one, but you just need to trust... 

“Dates,” you began, your voice struggling to control itself. It yearned to strain itself from emotions as tears threatened to escape your eyes. But you knew you had to be tough to get your desires across. “I want to drink coffee with you, and go on dinner dates with a shared plate of spaghetti and candle lights. I want strolls in the park and purple cotton candy and holding hands. I want private music sessions and lyrics and shitty guitar playing. I want you-- all of you.” 

Everything went still after your words. Nothing came from the drummer at the end of the bed, seeing as he remained sat at the edge. Your bottom lip quivered, it’s chapped being still remembering when a pair of lips were sucking on them. Heart raced without pause, running in a race with no winner. Your fingers began to sweat from the cotton fabric, feeling it’s smoothness melt between your fingers. 

“You’re only looking for attention.” Ashton uttered, his voice husky, tinted with annoyance. You flinched slightly at his words, accurate but still not exact. “You’re only noticing because I’m never around. True or false?” 

“True but--” you tried, but Ashton quickly lifted his hand to silence you. He turned to stare at you, his face half dark with the other revealing a cold stare. His hazel eyes were dim, pupils small as he looked into your eyes. His lips were pursed in the straight light, completely stern with no dimples. His expression held no happiness, no warmth. 

“But nothing,” Ashton muttered quietly. “You’re asking for so much from me, Y/N. And I can’t provide that anymore because there’s no time. My career leaves me no time, and yours doesn’t as well.” 

“But I make the time for you!” You chimed, scoffing at him with soft eyes. It was hard to really spit a cold statement without feeling your heart bounce. You were in contact with the boy you adore, how could you be cold? 

“I flew in because you were crying on the phone,” Ashton began lowly as he stood up. His ass was revealed to you, plump with dents at the outer cheeks. But you quickly diverted your eyes back up at the curly-haired man as he bent down to pick up his garments. “We fucked, and you seemed happy with it.” 

“But I’m not!” You wailed as he began pulled up his tight jeans. You struggled to crawl to the end of the bed, still covered your body with the smooth sheets. “You came over, we had small talk, and then you began to take off my shirt! Texting stays at 2 sentences, calls always holds several periods of silence, and you get quick to feel me up and down!” 

“Because you want me to fucking touch you!” Ashton exclaims as he pulled down his shirt. “You’re always wailing about how you miss my damn touch! But now that I do, that’s still not enough?” 

“Have you ever thought that ‘touch’ isn’t just sex?” You began, having Ashton roll his eyes as he grabbed his phone and wallet from the bedside table. “I just want to hug you, hold your hand, smell your scent and just have your presence. But you just come to fuck me and leave!” 

“Because every time I do, you stop wailing about it for months until the next time you want me again!” Ashton roared, slipping on his Vans. “I’m sorry princess, but you don’t get to be the victim here. I’m done being pinned as the bad guy.” 

With that, you watched the tall figure make his way to the door. You didn’t know what to do, or what to say. The man you love so much was just one door away from leaving your life forever. You didn’t want him to go, to disconnected his heart from yours, you--

“I love you!” You called out as Ashton slammed the door. There was no hesitance, no second-guessing. Nothing. 

Your phone was dry, still no replies. 

Endless calls and texts were sent to the boy with curly hair, but none seem to be coming through. Even sitting with this broken heart for a week, you couldn’t help but worry over this boy. He left, leaving an essence of frustration. Though his words pained you, you didn’t want to see this fight effect him at all. 

But today, you decided to remain silent. 

Some tried to convince you that he hadn’t deserved your words. Others claim that he hadn’t deserved a place in your conscious. Few thought the break up was much needed, both for you and him. 

But it pained you. In interviews you had done, your smile lacked genuine happiness. Your eyes lost their glimmer, you were too stiff and failed to feel elated. Interviewers would ask about Ashton, and you tried as much as possibly to pass the subject. His name sent all sorts of jolts to your heart that hurt you far beyond belief. 

You hadn’t dared badmouthed him though. Of all things, you understood publicity and understood how vital that was to both of your careers. You did everything you can to avoid the topic of Ashton and only said good things when you couldn’t evade. There were no bad things to even say, anyways. 

Ashton was always a sweet man. He is someone kind and giving, one who would do a lot just to see a stranger smile. He spreads love and joy to those who strive hard lives. He kisses those in need of affection on the cheek and draws butterflies on war scars. Regardless of the emotional trip he took at your heart, Ashton will always be an amazing person to you. 

There were you, residing on your leather couch as the heat of your body stuck your skin to it. Hot brewed coffee was held in your hands, emitting a yawn at 5:00 P.M. as you sat lazily. The scent of hazel nut and nutmeg intoxicated your nose as you watched the TV that wasn’t even on. 

“Y/N!” The intercom suddenly blasted, having you flinch as you quickly placed your cup down. You shot from the couch, your feet touching the smooth, wooden tiles in pursuit of the intercom. You slammed your hand on the mic button, your heart randomly racing from the suddenness of the moment. 

“Yes?” You breathed. 

“There’s someone here for you. He says his name is A.” 

Your heart froze. Who is A? You don’t know anybody by that name. Unless, of course, if it’s the first initial of someone’s name. Could it be who you thought it could be? No no, it can’t be. That’d be too much hopeful thinking. But he hasn’t left the city yet. He uploaded a selfie of himself yesterday in the city, captioning the name. 

“Would you like me to let him in?” The intercom suddenly scared you out of your thoughts, having you turn the mic on once more to utter a ‘yes.’ You waited by the door anxiously, unsure as to how to take this. You had no clue who this person could be. They could be a murderer, but you still let them in.

Then it came: the knock on the door. 

Your hand slowly touched the gold knob, feeling the cold metal contrast from your clammy hand. It was shaking, but you hadn’t paid much mind to that fact. grasping it tightly, you unlock the door and twist the knob, opening it slowly. That’s when you were introduced to a sobbing Ashton Irwin. 

“E-eh...” You began, unable to produce words as Ashton quickly swallowed you into a hug. His strong arms wrapped around your torso tightly, with his face residing at the crook of your neck. You could feel his tears being smeared on your neck, his sniffs cooling it from the air. This was very unlike the aggressive Ashton you had faced just a few days ago.

“I’m s-so sorry to come in so suddenly, Y/N,” Ashton spoke lowly, moving his face a little away from your neck to speak properly. “B-but I just... I’m so sorry about everything I’ve done!”

“A-Ashton...” You began, your arms too numb to even wrap them around him.

“I slept with another woman last night,” Ashton said quietly, having your heart throb slightly at those words. Even though the two of you were no longer a thing, it didn’t stop you from being in love with him. “And this morning I woke up to her on the phone. She was talking to somebody, saying she was gonna use me... for fame and money, and I just...” 

You slowly found blood in your arms and rose them to the boys back. You felt his smooth blue sweater upon your forearms, grabbing it between your fingers to hold onto him. You tried to soothe them with a series of ‘shushes’ and ‘it’s okay.’ But his sniffles and stuttering found no end. 

“When I told her to fuck off and left, I realized that you were never like that,” Ashton began. “Y-You were the only one who didn’t want me just for sex. I felt your love, and I knew it was completely real in the beginning. And I just...” 

Ashton’s voice trailed away, feeling his weeps upon your warm neck as he held you. You had no clue what to really do or think. You felt the strands of his curly hair tickle at your ear politely. You could feel his words pour into your heart, feeling as he clenched your shirt in his hands. 

“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” he began suggestively, having you anticipate the next words he’ll be choosing. “But I want to try and make up for it. To prove to you that I want and need you in my life. Physically, emotionally-- completely.” 

The drummer had been quick, pulling you away after his words. Your eyes had widened as Ashton slowly got closer to you until his lips were finally pressed on yours. His lips, slightly chapped, sucked upon your bottom lip, allowing it between the coolness that were his lips. He moaned, feeling the vibrations dancing on your lips as he swiped his tongue along the rim of your bottom lip. 

“Ash--” You tried, attempting to stop him. But your hands didn’t even dare press against his chest to try to push him away. Your arms remained straight down, hanging loosely by your sides. His hands, though, worked quick as they snaked around your waist and grabbed you closer. Then, he abandoned your lips to start nibbling down your jawline, then down to your neck. 

“Ha.. A-Ash...” You moaned, unable to control yourself as he slowly and gently pushed you to the wall. You felt your back along the coolness of the green wall as Ashton kissed your neck lovingly. The moistness of his saliva played a role in your pleasure as his teeth lightly tugged at your sensitive skin. 

“I was checking my phone today, beautiful,” Ashton murmured along your neck, having another moan come from the vibrations of his voice. “And I saw you didn’t text me today, and I only checked my phone to see if you texted me. Ignored everyone else.” 

He swiped the tip of his tongue to the other side of your neck, giving the un-tampered skin some attention. 

“Passed by so many strangers, anticipating to see you in the crowd,” Ashton growled, sucking your skin harshly. You threw your head back, your hands attempting to grab onto the flatness of the wall. “Just wanted to see your pretty face...” 

Ashton’s large hands slipped under your shirt, feeling your smooth sides appreciatively. You felt those callouses tickle your skin, but you were too heated to dare giggle. His long, sturdy fingers brushed lightly upon your stomach before digging through your breast cup. 

“Such a sweet princess, aren’t you?” Ashton groaned, smirking upon your neck. He blew against your new hickey, having you bite your bottom lip. “Calling me in such concern, sending me texts to see how I was. How did I even think about letting you go?” 

Breathless to answer, Ashton chuckled on your neck before slipping his hands into your bra. You felt his cool hands grope your breasts, absorbing their warmth as your nipples became perky. Goosebumps rose all over, feeling your core heat up in desperate need of him. 

His lips trailed down to your collarbone, nibbling on the sensitive skin lovingly. Subconsciously, your hands jolted up and weaved themselves into Ashton’s curls. You felt the softness of it, barely tugging on it as the tips of his fingers tugged on your rising buds. Moans became music to his ears as he rubbed the tip of your nipples with his rough thumbs. 

“Sh-should we?” You breathed out, your eyes darting over to the direction of your bedroom. Ashton looked up and nodded, grabbing your waist once more as he took lead in guiding you to the room. His lips attached themselves back on yours as he walked over to your bedroom door and gently hit your back against the door. You heard him desperately turn at the knob before opening it and tossing you on the bed. 

“Look at you,” Ashton began with a smirk, watching from above as you lied on the full sized bed. Your chest was heaving, cheeks flushed as you looked up at Ashton lustfully. “All hot and frustrated over me.” 

He quickly got on the bed on all fours so he could dip down and kiss you lovingly. You wrapped your arms loosely around his neck to lift yourself up to be closer to him. You felt one of his hands rub down your soft belly before reaching the hem of your pajama shorts. He tugged them down, barely reaching the knees as he exposed the uppermost of your thighs. 

“Do a favor for me, princess?” Ashton began once he detached his lips from yours. You nodded, parting your lips as they throbbing from his kisses. He then held up his middle and index fingers, pressing them together firmly. “Suck on them with your pretty little mouth.” 

Ashton brought the tip of his fingers to your bottom lip, his dry fingers drying up a bit of your moist lip. Quickly, you widened your mouth a bit more to allow his fingers in, but they didn’t move. So you grabbed his wrist and pushed them in, a sudden taste of saltiness playing at your tongue. Your cool tongue licked his warm fingers as you bobbed your head along them. Your tongue dug through the in between of the fingers, allowing saliva to reside between them. Sucking on them harshly, you had remained consistent before Ashton removed his fingers with a pop!

“Good girl,” Ashton mumbled, biting down harshly on his bottom lip as he guided his hand to your thighs. You spread them, having Ashton smile before cutting right to the chase. He shoved his fingers in you, having you throw your head back as those long fingers filled you. He kept moving them in and out, using your saliva as lubricant to move with ease. You clenched your walls around his fingers, having him growl happily. “You’re so tight, princess...” 

He was quick to reach your g-spot, lowering himself once more to kiss you as he fingered you ruthlessly. Before you knew it, you had released all over his fingers, moaning his name like it was to save your life. He quickly hopped off the bed, guiding his mouth to your pussy as he licked your liquids. You felt his cool tongue lick along your clit as he slowly moved to your slit. You felt his lips soon press upon your labia as he sucked your juices. 

“Ngh... A-Ash!” You shrieked as his tongue began entering you. But he was fast to remove it as he stood up straight once more and swiped his tongue along his bottom lip. You looked up at him, completely heated and flushed to see a smirk painted at his lips. But then you looked into his eyes and found lust being replaced with love and warmth. 

“I don’t want to have sex with you.” Those words struck you a bit, excitement deflated and confidence exploded. His hands grabbed the hem of your panties and shorts and pulled them back up. You crawled up to the headboard, sitting in a pretzel as you stared at the drummer boy before you. 

“S-so you just came to play around a bit, huh?” You began bitterly. Your fingers grabbed on your sheets strongly as those hazel eyes bore into yours. “You say all these words of sentiment only to play me like the other girls, right? I’m nothing more than another fucking body, right? That’s just how it is now--” 

“You’re different, Y/N,” Ashton interrupted. You silenced yourself completely, eyes widening from such bold words. His eyes didn’t dare break the lock on yours as he spoke. “I don’t know why it took me so long to realize, but you’re so perfect to me, Y/N. Your body, the kind of person you are, the heart you own... I don’t know why I didn’t take this so heavily when I assessed in the choice of leaving you. One week deflated my entire heart until there were no beat, so warmth. There was nothing without you, Y/N. I was nothing without you.” 

“I...” You began, in pure disbelief of his audacious words. Coming to your house, saying all those sweet words, giving you brief pleasure only to repeat more sweet words. Who did he think he was? “Ashton, you can’t just come in here saying all these words like what you did can easily be fixed with some sort of straight-out-of-the-movies speech.” 

Swiftly, Ashton walked to the headboard, took a seat by you, and enclosed your hands between his. 

“I want to take you out and talk,” Ashton began quietly. “And have coffee, with shared spaghetti for dinner and vanilla candles. Purple cotton candy and walks in the park. I want that all, too. I know I want that all because it took me time without you to realize how much I missed it. Y/N, please understand that you’re entirely worth it to me. You are absolutely worth it.” 

You had just a hint of uncertainty over his ask. But his face was stern, a seriousness you haven’t seen before. His stare hadn’t faltered, and his hazel eyes has yet to wander someplace else in sheepishness. He held your hands firmly, determined to keep them in his hold until you gave him an answer that catered to his preference. 

“...There’s a new cafe they opened across the street,” you said quietly, blushing furiously. “You can make up everything by buying me a scone and a latte.” 

Ashton smiled happily, obliging completely. He squeezed your hands happily, having you watch as he stared at them lovingly. His thumb brushed along the top of one of them, appreciating your smooth skin. 

“It’s been decided,” Ashton announced. 

“Huh?” You hummed, looking at him with a puzzled stare. His hazel eyes locked into yours immediately, his lips forming a soft smile. His dimples showed, the soft indents lightening up his face completely. 

“I’m gonna care for you from now on,” Ashton stated, his eyes full of determination and warmth. “Forever and always.” 

[septicsavvy]

Shouta Aizawa: Origin (A BnHA Fic)

I’m back with another fic! This time, it’ll have chapters. No promises on how often I update, though.

Summary:  After a string of kidnappings occur, Shouta Aizawa is forced to relive painful memories from his past, as well as fight against the one person who inspired him to become a hero. (Manga Spoilers)

A/N: Hey everyone! I'm very excited to start posting chapters for my new fic, centered around my favorite sleepy pro-hero! For a long time, I've wondered what it was that made someone as grumpy as Aizawa want to become a hero in the first place, and that's how this story was born.

If there are ANY sort of inaccuracies, cut me some slack. I'm caught up on the manga, but have barely read any of Vigilantes/Illegals, so I'm not sure too much on what's already been set up for Eraser's backstory there. There will be slight spoilers for the original manga in here. Then again, this isn't supposed to be canon to the anime or manga soooo whatever.

I have read a couple of these stories where it focuses on Aizawa's potential backstory, but I wanted this to be more like the "origin" episodes from the anime, by focusing on one new story arc, while also including some made-up stuff from his past.

To help ease any confusion, I'll be using Aizawa or Eraser/head referring to present-day. Flashbacks, or the younger versions, will be referred to as Shouta. Not that it would really confuse anyone, but just to keep things consistent. Also, flashbacks will be italicized. Ikou!

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Chapter One: Old Friend or New Foe?

The twenty members of UA High School's Class 1-A sit at their desks, talking amongst themselves. As the bell rings to begin homeroom, Shouta Aizawa takes to his podium to start his lecture. "All right, settle down," Aizawa begins in his monotone, yet somehow, authoritative voice. "For today's lesson, we're going to be discussing tactical maneuvers when facing villains with a gigantification Quirk". Before he gets the chance to begin the lesson for the day, the door to the classroom bursts open. A boisterous Present Mic stands in the doorway, with a relaxed Cementoss in tow.

"Yo! Yo! Yoooo! Class 1-A! What's goooooood?!"

"Need something, Mic?" Aizawa asks, unamused by his friend's energetic personality, as always.

"I just wanted to wax philosophical with these young folks here, ya dig?" Mic hoots, strutting up to the podium. Once he's close enough, he leans forward and whispers in Aizawa's ear, "Nezu wants to meet with us. Says it's urgent".

Aizawa sighs. "Fine," he grumbles to his friend before addressing the class directly. "Okay, students. Seems I'm needed elsewhere right now. Cementoss will be overseeing class for the time being." As Aizawa and Present Mic make their way out of the classroom, the students once again begin mumbling to one another.

Midoriya watches the pair of heroes leave and sees that something about this situation is unusual. He leans forward in his seat to talk to Bakugo.

"Hmm, that was weird. What do you think's going on, Kacchan?"

"Shut up, nerd! How would I know?!" Bakugo shouts back.

"I hope he's not in trouble," Uraraka remarks.

"Who, Mr. Aizawa? Of course not!" Iida replies. "Sure, some of his teaching methods are a little unconventional, but I'd argue that's helped to build the foundation of our class. He pushes us to be the best that we can be, and as future heroes, we have to strive to become—"

Other students pipe up to get Iida to stop talking, while others worry about what might be going on.

"He's totally fired," Mineta mutters to himself, among the commotion of other voices.

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Outside of the classroom, Aizawa calmly makes his way into the conference room, while Mic is seen peeking his head in the doorway behind him, nervous as can be. He doesn't let it show, but Aizawa's a bit surprised to find other pros and faculty members already waiting there: Midnight, Snipe, Power Loader, even All Might. Tsukauchi is also there, standing by Nezu's side, facing the two heroes that were just summoned.

"You wanted to see us, Principal?" Aizawa asks.

"Ah, Eraserhead! Yes, please have a seat," Nezu responds, a furry hand raised in the air to greet him. Two seats are positioned together, facing the table full of pros. Mic is quick to take a seat there, but Aizawa takes note of the fact that the other heroes are already seated at the tables with serious looks on their faces; all eyes are on him and Mic. It's the solemn expression on All Might's face in particular that tells him… something's up.

"I think I'll stand," Aizawa contests.

"Very well. I do apologize for taking you from your class, but I'm afraid this is a rather urgent matter. I know you're not one to waste time, so we'll cut right to the chase". Nezu looks to Tsukauchi to lead the discussion.

"It's recently been brought to our attention that an organization of villains known as The Paradox Council have been involved in a string of kidnapping cases in the last few weeks." Tsukauchi leans down and begins displaying photos on the desk. "There have been seven kidnappings in the last two weeks alone. The first took place in Edogawa, the second in Kōtō, just a few miles from the first kidnapping. The villains got brave after that and kidnapped three more in Shinjuku, and another two in Minato." Tsukauchi stands back straight. "To put it plainly, we believe that if the villains' continue on their path, it's likely their next stop will be UA".

"Hmm? What makes you say that?" Mic asks.

"One of the victims from Shinjuku managed to escape and came forward to the police. And from what we can tell, it seems that these villains are targeting individuals with powerful Quirks and kidnapping them in order to gain control of their power in some way. The victim who came forward reported that their Quirk Factor has been severely diminished since encountering these villains, so it's safe to assume the same is true for the other victims as well. We're unsure of what their ultimate goal is for all of this, but it can't be good."

Aizawa sticks his hands in his pockets. "Got it. So, how exactly does this pertain to the two of us directly?"

"During our investigation, we've uncovered some information regarding the group's tactics, as well as the names and Quirks of some of the members involved. Most of them are low-level thugs; petty criminals with rather short records. But it's the leader of this group that has us concerned". Tsukauchi holds a photo up of a man with short, yet shaggy white hair and grey eyes. The majority of his face is concealed by a black face mask.

A cold chill runs down Aizawa's spine. A brief look of terror fills his face, but he's quick to suppress it. All Might is the only person that takes note of his quick expression.

"Yukio Adachi. As it turns out, he was a former student here at UA. He was here for less than a year before he was kicked out of the school, though there doesn't appear to be information as to why in his file." Tsukauchi holds up another photo of a younger Yukio in a UA uniform. Instead of the face mask, Yukio can be seen smiling in this photo. "Additionally, his power is listed as 'unknown' in the Quirk Registry, so it's unclear how exactly he uses his Quirk and what his full capabilities are. But, based on the victim's statement, it appears his Quirk is somehow responsible for the victims' loss of power." Tsukauchi looks to Aizawa. "It's my understanding that both you and Present Mic attended UA with him at the same time, is that correct?"

Mic shifts in his seat, placing his hand to his chin, trying to recollect. "Hmm, the name sounds familiar, but I'm not sure. Eraser and I must've been in a different class than him".

Nezu looks concerned and turns to Aizawa. "And you, Eraserhead? Do you know this man?"

There's a brief pause from Aizawa as he looks to the photo, but he simply responds with, "No, I don't".

"Well… given the circumstances, I thought it would be best if you heard it from us first, before the public gets wind of this. Even though he didn't end up becoming a pro hero, the reputation of UA would be severely tarnished if word got out that one of its heroes in training turned to villainy".

Tsukauchi nods, in agreement with Nezu. "We're still following leads on where to apprehend Adachi and his crew, but we've recently hit a dead end. We'll keep you updated if anything comes up. And, of course, we'll be relying on the power of you heroes when the time comes".

"In the meantime, if there's a chance the villains could be targeting UA, we'll need to implement a security measure to keep the students safe. Until the police or heroes can apprehend these criminals, we'll need to temporarily suspend school activities and put the students under lockdown in the dorms, effective immediately".

"Understood. Is that all then?" Aizawa asks, politely.

"Yes, I suppose it is. Thank you both for your time".

As they head out the door, a concerned Mic looks to Aizawa who continues walking forward. "Adachi, huh? It's been so many years, I can't really remember what kind of person he was like. You think any of our other old classmates remember him, Eraser?"

"How should I know?"

"Hey man, what's with the hostility?" Mic screeches in his 'I'm-so -offended-but-don't-really-care-that-much' tone.

All Might comes rushing out the door they just exited from, trying to catch up to the pair. "Aizawa! Hey, you got a sec?" Aizawa and Mic both stop in their place as they see All Might coming toward them.

"Uh, guess we'll pick up this discussion later, Eraser! Ciao-man!" Mic turns the corner, leaving the two teachers alone together.

"What is it?" Aizawa asks.

"About this Adachi guy…" The very mention of Yukio causes Aizawa to continue walking down the hall, away from All Might, and he has no choice but to follow after him. "You seemed pretty caught off guard when you saw his photo".

"You must be seeing things". Aizawa shrugs off the comment.

"Come on Aizawa, level with me," All Might pleads, trying to keep up with Aizawa's pace, even though he isn't walking all that fast (All Might's just that weak in his normal form). "You know who this guy is, don't you?" Aizawa continues walking without a response. "If you know something that could help the police with their investigation, then—"

"It's like I said, I barely knew the kid. Whatever happened to him after he left UA has nothing to do with me". The way Aizawa says that comes across colder than usual. His comment isn't out of anger, but rather… resentment?

The tone in Aizawa's voice leaves All Might frozen in place. He doesn't know what else to say, so he simply watches as Aizawa continues to walk away from him.

As he walks away, a look of antipathy rests on Aizawa's face. He's lost in an old memory:

A young Shouta Aizawa is on his hands and knees, coughing.

"C'mon, man, get up. I didn't hit you that hard." A young boy commands.

Shouta pants heavily, desperately trying to catch his breath. "I… can't."

"Don't say that! It's a hero's job to keep fighting, even when they think they can't. And when the bad guys think they're out of strength, that's always when the hero gets back on his feet. That's what it means to be a hero!"

"Yukio…" Aizawa whispers to himself as he walks down the hall alone. "What happened to you…?"

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A/N: Eeek! No going back now, yeah? I've been hesitant to post this first chapter because I don't want people to be anticipating new chapters if I don't have time to write. But I'm just gonna go for it, because if I don't, I never will. So, here it is. I'll try to have chapter two up soon, but let me know what you think.