#even if they don't inherit his... flamability

[fbfh]

wait ☝️ imagine this ☝️ leo valdez twin dad... i feel like he could match the energy of two hyper kids.

Actually SOBBING over this because you are SO RIGHT. In my little floating timeline canon of dad!leo so far we have Sophia your oldest (or Phia for short), then Donnie, then Lila. I think the last drabble I wrote about dad Leo was where you actually did find out you’re preggers with twins so this is SO on brand. 

However!! Let’s say you have your twins first. 

You and Leo might not even be married at this point, but your babies are SO excited to be with their mommy and daddy that they are not waiting any longer to show up lol. So when you find out you’re pregnant, you’re both OVER THE FUCKING MOON. Leo can’t get over how cute you look like this (Leo thirsting over his pregnant wife anon I see you and I'm coming for your ask too bitch <3) but what he really can’t get over is how cute your bump is. You’re both a little surprised at fast you start showing, and more surprised by how big your bump is getting. You look nearly a month ahead of how far along you are, but Leo just thinks it’s so fucking adorable and gorgeous that he’s totally obsessed. 

And when you find out it’s TWINS????? Yes. You know how some parents freak out or panic when they find out they’re having multiples? Not Leo. Nope. Leo spots it a second before the doctor does, then looks to him for confirmation. You’re totally shocked, not in a bad way, it’s just… a surprise. Even if multiples run in your family and you had a hunch this might happen, it’s just so wild to hear it out loud, to have it confirmed, to see the two little pixelated blobs that are going to turn into your babies. Your babies. Leo starts shaking a little then excuses himself for a moment. He returns a couple minutes later smelling like that fireproofing spray you drown all your flammables with has been activated, and you chuckle. Your suspicions are confirmed once you leave and he’s walking you back to your car with even more care and attention than usual, and you see the scorch marks all over the brick and concrete of the parking garage. Thank GOD it’s fireproof. You get a little misty eyed that Leo is SO STOAKED that you’re having not one but two babies right off the bat that he actually had to find a non flammable space to process that information. 

I could go on a lot about your first pregnancy being the twins, but that’s gonna have to turn into its own ask so lmk if you want more first time twin dad Leo during your pregnancy content. 

Also Esperanza is OVER-MOTHERFUCKING-JOYED. You get her t shirts that say stuff like coming soon: Abuela times two! And this grandma got a two for one deal on the CUTEST grandbabies in the world! And all this other cute cheesy shit you find on amazon or temu or whatever. ANYWAY. 

Once your babies are born, a healthy, happy little boy and girl pair aptly named Red and Iris (sidebar Red Valdez and Iris Valdez are SUCH PRETTY BADASS NAMES YOUR KIDS ARE GONNA KICK SO MUCH ASS. Leo might see if he can literally legally make their middle names Danger and Trouble. Maybe it happens maybe it doesn’t. Up to you on that one.) Moving on. 

You and Leo are a dynamic fuckin duo with these babies. You’re so in sync. You’re literally so in sync you could throw cheese puffs in each others mouths from across the room with a 100% success rate. Leo is not only delighted to go above and beyond to help you raise your sweet, creative, curious, adorable, brilliant babies, but he really does surprise you every day at just how good he is with them. Once they reach the cruising and toddling and walking stage, it takes two days before you start to get overwhelmed. But guess what? Leo’s I love my wife senses are tingling, and if he wasn’t working from home already he sure as shooting is now!! He will also delegate and streamline everything in his work and engineering so things are running butter smooth and he has a fuck ton more time to be with you and the babies. 

Leo really feels like he was born for this. He matches their energy perfectly, he sees himself in both your kids. And all the traits he was told were bad or too much or annoying, like his hyperactivity and constant jokes and humor are actually PERFECT for a setting like this. He can juggle two toddlers like it’s nothing, he always has them giggling and laughing, and when the occasional tantrum or meltdown does happen he has them smiling and giggling again within minutes. They’re both literally joined at his hip, always climbing all over him and babbling in a cute toddler version of spanglish and asking a million questions, and for the first time in his life he doesn’t feel anxious or understimulated. He feels… perfect. He finally gets it, all those people who say life made sense when their kids were born. He knows his technical grand divine purpose was to act as a catalyst to prevent the end of the world, but all that stuff from when you were teenagers feels so far away now. He doesn’t need gods or prophecies to tell him what’s so overwhelmingly, abundantly clear. 

Loving you, and loving Red and Iris and being there for all three of you is his reason for existing. They’re the greatest thing he’s ever created, his magnum opus. And he truly could not be more fulfilled.

(also: this is an average evening in your household. 1:12)

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

Out of all the characters in Utopia of the Lost, who is the most likely to set a fire for no particular reason?

Hi! Thank you for this – it's so exciting! ♥️

I'm going to go through more of the characters, because this is fun!

(Just a gentle reminder that death doesn't really stick under the Barrier in this version of events. The VKs have no idea how mortality is supposed to work. And it shows.)

CJ Hook: She would be the obvious answer, I'm not going to argue that. But! She would have reasons! Really! Sure, the reasons would be probably along the lines of „Well they pissed me off,“ „That's what they get for not respecting my siblings,“ or „I really need to win this prank war.“ but still. The reason would be there!

Harry Hook: Not really. He is a pirate. He knows better than to play with fire. Like, why would he bring fire on his wooden ship?? No, thank you. Now, somebody else's less flamable territory is another question, but, you see, threatening your enemies with your hook is wayy more dramatic. Also, he's with Uma most of the time. On the other hand, none of the Hook siblings are entirely stable.

Harriet Hook: Look, there is always a possibility that this girl will snap and set the whole port ablaze, just so she wouldn't have to deal with the others for another day. (Sure, not really, but that idea is there, dancing at the back of her mind. She does her best to ignore it.)

Claudine Frollo: She did inherit an affinity for fire from her father. And as fun as her burning-ice PoV full of rage may be, she's more bark than bite. Besides, I don't think she has entirely grasped the concept of fun yet. Also, she's heavily supervised, just in case.

De Vil Cousins: Yes, all of them. Even Carlos. They like playing with fire, and explosives. However, they'd have a reason, it's called ✨science✨. Does that count? Or self-defense? Anyway, they've had their experiments restricted to Hell Hall only, and they agree that it's probably for the best. Most of the time.

The Hearts: OCs of mine with an affinity for chaos. What else would you expect from heirs of evil queen of Wonderland? However, they don't vibe with fire – they find beheadings much more tasteful. The Isle should be grateful for that.

Mal of Moors: Hey, she's bored. And she's a young dark fairy. Bad things happen when she is bored! She wouldn't need another reason!

Celia and Freddie Facilier: Luckily for their father, the sisters prefer subtler ways of wreaking havoc, working behind the scenes and playing with people's minds. Thank Evil. He likely wouldn't survive if his daughters decided to dab in arson of all things.

None of the AKs would even think about setting something on fire. They were not raised to follow this train of thoughts.

And I don't really care for any of the adults.

So, to conclude: From outsiders perspective, it would be a tie between CJ Hook and Mal!

Sorry that this was so long, but I've enjoyed writing it! I hope you like my answer! ♥️♥️♥️