#every time i allowed myself to be restricted or svared by a man i am filled with the fear of their disappointment | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starburns · 2 years ago

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my mother has gone hungry for nights and given me her food when i wanted more, she never told me to take only a little, never told me to keep some for someone else, never served me less than i wanted and i just had my grandfather told me to not take too much of a bhaji to save it for my father. i do not know if this is as raging to u as it is to me. i am the daughter here. i am the CHILD here. hello. wtf is wrong with u.

#yesterday my dad made this joke ki like my mother was out so he was like haha u didnt make the dinner shes not here so i thought u would do #it #WHY. why #theres an adult man with no job and u want me to do work #my mother my aunt every single mayernam figure jn my life has put my health and my education and my Hunger before anythinb else #they have taught me to demand. to jot restrict myself for the sake of others bevause i just knoe that is whag they did #and it is so painful like #everytime i allow myself to eat less than i wanted for some other man everytime i allow myself to be moved around in the school bus so thag #those boys who want the begter seats get them bevauze im scared #every time i allowed myself to be restricted or svared by a man i am filled with the fear of their disappointment #everytime i get scared everytime i am weak i am disappoint my mother #i am letting myself become her which is not what she ever wanted

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