#except in Jim's case he's also more feral child looking

[moonlit-orchid]

Despite not watching aos I love that I can tell if it's aos bones or tos bones in an art based on how pretty Bones is drawn

[thebibliomancer]

Archaia’s Jim Henson’s The Dark Crystal Age of Resistance #7

The Ballad of Hup & Barfinnious Part 3 of 4

Nice of Barfinnious to let Hup be first in the title, by the by.

In part one, Hup burned a lot of bridges in his tavern workplace by full force spoon smacking SkekShod the Treasurer during the Sami Thicket tithe. He then became the squire of Barfinnious the self-proclaimed Paladin-Bard and definite con artist.

In part two, Hup and Barfinnious roll into a village which seems to be holding out for a hero. Barfinnious ignores all of the foreshadowing and then is surprised when THE BEAST attacks and the village elder expects Barfinnious to walk the hero walk. But after being called a coward, Barfinnious pledges he and Hup will find this BEAST.

As for Hup? He’s been itching to do some valorous deeds and was ready to throw himself spoon-first at THE BEAST when it showed up.

So now Hup and Barfinnious are on the same page, right?

The issue starts, as I’m realizing all of the issues have started, with Barfinnious telling a story.

Neat conceit!

But he tells a frankly pretty cool apparently murder mystery story that is supposed to illustrate that he has a knack for observation but just confuses the concussed Vortina, the girl what got trampled a little.

Meanwhile, Barfinnious’ crack CSI team of Hup and Veara examine the crime scene. Er, monster attack scene.

Of course, Veara still can’t understand what Hup is saying. Womp womp.

Hup: “It -- it doesn’t make sense. There seem to be two separate creatures. A Mounder, or something bigger, but with fingers for breaking and throwing? And then... something with many teeth. Whatever attacked Vortina and the farmhouse.”

Barfinnious stopped listening after Mounder because, hey, if they can blame this on a Mounder then they can “solve” the case and be out of here before sundown away from its judgy elders who make you feel bad.

He declares that the supposed beast is just a Mounder under blud-rage, a disease which makes animals feral and irrational and hopefully isn’t rabies.

Vortina protests that what attacked her wasn’t a Mounder but Barfinnious insists and starts telling a story about how he had a pet Nebrie as a child which got blud-rage.

... I’m now fairly sure that it is rabies and that Barfinnious is about to recap Gelfling Old Yeller.

Anyway, as he goes on, a Mounder looms up behind him and does him a startle.

Vortina, sassy as heck: “Might want to try other scenarios, Sir Observation. I only go the one Mounder, and she seems fine.”

It’s such a good diss that Veara immediately drops dead.

Or passes out because she was so busy tending Vortina’s injuries that she neglected to take care of herself.

Veara is put to bed with Vortina “keeping watch” (napping) and Barfinnious, Hup, and the elder go elsewhere to try to figure things out.

Hup asks the elder whether there’s more information on the attacks. Whether anyone has seen the beast or beasts. Whether it attacks in a pattern.

And apparently the elder also doesn’t understand Podling because Barfinnious smoothly then steals Hup’s ideas, repeating all of the questions to the elder while Hup facepalms.

The elder tells them that THE BEAST always comes out at night. Not usually consecutive nights but THE BEAST has been growing bolder. And that there’s a rumble that precedes the attack.

Oh and then upstairs where Veara is sleeping, some manner of giant BEAST punches a hole in the wall and abducts her like King Kong.

APPARENTLY.

It carries her away towards the North Woods.

Dang, this BEAST is breaking all the rules. Coming out during the day, not being preceded by a rumble. What’s next? Littering?

Barfinnious is stunned into inaction again but Hup demands that they go after her and asks whether it would be faster to walk or ride. Barfinnious eventually answers that they’ll ride.

As they saddle up, Barfinnious offers an inspiring speech which is initially... less than inspiring.

Barfinnious: “Good Gelfling! I will not lie. Things look bleak. And I... it has been some span since I’ve faced down a monster... of this size.”

Elder: *Sigh*

Barfinnious: “But with my brave squire at my side -- we’ll bring back your healer.”

The elder being 101% done with Barfinnious but not really having a better plan than him never ceases to amuse me.

Hup and Barfinnious hold up their spoon and broken sword to the applause of the small gathered crowd.

The elder asks if he can’t maybe offer them better weapons than a spoon and a broken sword but Barfinnious responds “Ours have gotten us this far.”

Barfinnious and Hup set off to the sustained applause of the small crowd.

Oh and two people that opine “So brave” and “So doomed.”

Cracks me up.

Hup tries to follow the trail despite the ground being too hard to leave tracks but Barfinnious plans to just ditch.

Just head to the main road and onto the next town. Clearly Veara is dead at this point so cut their losses, right?

Hup jumps off the riding Armalig and proclaims he’ll continue on foot.

But in mid principled stomp, he spots a weird plant. A Sifan bloom that doesn’t grow around here. And he realizes that Veara, herbalist per excellence, is probably leaving a trail with the random plants she has in her pockets.

Amazing.

So despite Barfinnious wanting to ditch, he follows the trail of plants all throughout the day, until they reach a spooky cave at sunset.

Where Barfinnious freezes up again and says he can’t continue any further.

Hup tries to encourage him because as weird and danger avoidant as Barfinnious is, guy is a paladin, right?

Barfinnious: “Barfinnious the fake. I can’t do it because I’ve never done it. And if you’re suddenly this great investigator and tracker, then why haven’t you figured out by now that my stories are. Not. Real.”

He tells Hup that all of his stories except one were made up. And the one, the Arathim story, didn’t end the way Barfinnious claimed.

Barfinnious: “I’ve never saved anyone. I’ve only been saved. Only been a victim. And a story-spinner.”

Hup: “So the princess... saved you? And that shames you? You’re right. You aren’t a hero. A real hero lifts others up, doesn’t push them down. I’m going to help my friend. Because it matters what I do. Not what I say I do.”

And then he heads into the cave, despite being scared, to confront a monster with just a spoon.

GOOD STUFF!

I mean, first off the princess who saved herself! Worst day of Barfinnious’ life but a pretty rad day for the princess.

And we get some great insight into Barfinnious and why he’s so easy to shame into doing hero stuff despite being a con artist.

He wanted to be a hero once upon a time and got in over his head. And I don’t know that it’s the fact that he was saved that shamed him as much as his realization how close he came to death. Any time actual heroic situations pop up he freezes. He’s terrified to go into danger because this time, there may not be a cool princess to save him.

And we see the pedestal Hup has put Barfinnious the Paladin Bard on completely shatter. Hup has been disillusioned about his chances of becoming a Paladin himself. He’s been, in the moment, frustrated or annoyed by Barfinnious. But the whole time he’s still held him up as this hero. And now Barfinnious has admitted to being just a fraud.

The reveal shatters Hup a little too.

But Hup is still going to be a hero because darnit that’s just who Hup is! So he abandons Barfinnious as his inspiration and takes up Veara’s words instead!

Good stuff.

Can’t wait to see how this concludes!

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 8: The Man Trap

My mom and I started our long-overdue rewatch of Star Trek TOS (aka the best television show of all time) today so here are some liveblog-ish notes on 1x01 The Man Trap:

Kirk talking about Bones’s love life in his official log--so inappropriate. He’s such a gossip. I know this wasn’t intended to be the first televised ep but I love how he’s introduced being adorable and joking with his friend.

If Darnell thinks the young blonde woman is McCoy’s ex-girlfriend, he must assume that McCoy had a love affair with a literal child lol. Use your brain, boy. Darnell is who people who don’t like Kirk think Kirk is.

PLUM.

P L U M

Every single shot of Kirk is so romantic.

He knows all the regulations by heart. So far confirmed: gossip; romantic; nerd.

Oh no she ate Darnell.

Uhura is Certified Adorable.

Vulcan has no moon.

Spock is definitely undeniably worried that the killed crew member is Jim; I will not be taking criticism on this post. I feel so bad for him all the time. Everyone thinks he doesn’t feel but he Feels So Much. (This is going to be a comment on every single episode I can tell.)

Okay someone’s died so we’re done gossiping now.

They’re trying to figure out what happened to all the salt in Darnell’s body and I’m just like...... guys........ someone ATE the salt, obviously.

Everything Kirk says is flirty. “I’m not counting [your mistakes] Bones.” Certified bi because Shatner could not stop flirting.

“Stop thinking with your glands.” Lol.

It’s pretty hilarious that Yeoman Rand was eating Sulu’s food. And he didn’t notice.

That plant (Beauregard/Gertrude) is so obviously a hand in a puppet.

I find it so touching that Uhura wants to speak to someone in her native language. It doesn’t come up all that often but a lot of these people (arguably all of them, if you imagine as I do that “standard” and “English” are not synonymous) are not speaking their first languages most of the time.

Salt Monster McCoy!

They’re going into quarantine lol.

I get a lot of enjoyment watching Kirk and Spock run and hide and crawl among the sand and ruins.

I feel like Spock is getting way more distracted by the buffalo story than Kirk is.

I also get a lot of enjoyment out of the irony of this scene where everyone sits around talking about where the salt monster might be and she’s literally right there, discussing herself. Like I was also listening to the words, mostly, but I just was really tickled by the whole scenario.

That’s an interesting hypothesis FOR A SALT MONSTER.

I wonder how much stock to put into Kirk’s ideas about what Crater got out of his relationship with the salt creature. Is that just his opinion or is it supposed to be narratively true? Much to think about.

She ate Crater.... So much for needing love.

Spock goes absolutely feral every time Kirk is in danger. Every single time. Wild as hell.

You know I used to be moved by the buffalo comparison but now I think it's not really right. The buffalo are animals. The salt creature is more like a human. I assume they were the dominant life forms on the planet? The ones that built all the stuff?

This isn’t really a criticism of ST because I don’t do that but maybe it’s just easier for Crater, and Kirk et. al., to think about buffalo than to think about humans themselves dying out for lack of resources. If it’s hard to kill anything that’s the last of its kind, then it’s doubly hard to kill the last of a species that could have been humans themselves.

This story is really wild and it gets wilder the more you think about it. The archaeologist  wants to learn about a long dead civilization, except somehow one member of the civilization is still alive (not sure how since she needs so much salt) and she kills his wife and he's like 'okay I'll just marry the salt creature instead' and they just live together for a year.

I mean I guess another possibility is that the salt creatures weren't the ones who built the ruins and maintained the civilization, that they WERE like buffalo, but if this level of skill and intelligence is what their "animals" were like, then what could the "main" inhabitants have been? Like imagine Earth but everything is dead except one buffalo.

My mom and I were also wondering what happened to the salt. The whole planet looks very desolate. The ruins are big and occasionally ornate but also sparse--like there used to be a lot more. Maybe a totally different environment. Or possibly, the ruins are from an older civilization still, that did not overlap with the salt creatures. Alternately, they did overlap, in which case--what were the others like, to live with beings who can shapeshift, read minds, and hypnotize other beings. (Just immune?) Were they adversaries? Did they destroy each other?

The thing is there are many possibilities, because the planet is such an unknown. It doesn’t even have a real name. It’s quite a sad episode, really.

[whenthemarshmallowmettheslayer]

Favorite fics you ever written?

Warning this a long post because I've written a lot of fics.

For Harry Potter:

1.) The Definition of Good. Summary:  After Chamber of Secrets Harry gives Dobby a place to stay. Everything changes.

2.)  Keep it simple, keep it safe. That's all you can do when it's too late. Summary: Harry smiled; it didn't reach his mom's eyes. "There's no need to call me sir professor," Harry quipped once again. This Harry knew. This Harry could take and dare he say it? Liked. Or rather, he liked it compared to the alternative despite his hatred towards the greasy haired wizard before him.

(Harry can't help but remember the chocolate cake slices and hours of looking at photos of Mrs.Figg's cats, the warm - to the point he feels as though they may burn him - embraces from Mrs. Weasley, Dumbledore's soft spoken promises and words that might as well be empty, of Sirius' offer of Harry living with him just gone in a blink of eye because he fell into a veil Harry's godfather could not come out of.)

For Percy Jackson:

1.) I scream too loud when I speak my mind. Summary: Percy Jackson does not accidentally vaporize his pre-algebra teacher and everything else that happens afterward. (I've actually loved writing all the parts of the series but I'm only including this one.)

For Death Note:

1.) To be a Queen. Summary: It's that the queens (Misa, only Misa, because Misa the idiot sees what no one else sees. L says he doesn't swing that way but L wants Light, Kira, but Light is Kira therefore the other king. So duh he can't be L's queen no matter what that pevert wants.) in chess are the most powerful pieces despite the kings (Ryuzaki and Light) being the most important. Because without the king (Kira and L) there's no game, if you defeat the other king you win; Kira wins and he will.

2.) Game over. Summary: Instead of replying to baby Kira Matt takes the cigarette out of his mouth and with a smile (it's weird to smile because Matt never really smiles and it's probably a real ugly ass sight to see) throws his last cigarette onto the Death Note.

Game Over, he thinks and just walks off without so much a word. He wonders briefly what's next. With Light it's easy (boring even). He'd follow his dear dad's footsteps and become a police officer. Probably the best and maybe he'll meet L. Those two assholes deserved each other, Matt decided, but what about him?

(Or the universe gives Matt a restart after dying and he sadly uses his last cigarette on the Death Note.)

For Tokyo Ghoul:

1.) There's a ghost in my lungs. Summary: A series of non-linear conversations where Haise learns about his past, how he became who he was, and people that Kaneki loved. (Haise time travels to the beginning of Tokyo Ghoul. I've only posted one chapter so far.)

For Jessica Jones/Alias:

1.) Rest in pieces our youth (so we might glue it back together again). Crossover with Spiderman Homecoming. Summary: Jessica Campbell and Peter Parker are least likely of friends ever since Jessica came back to school.

For Fullmetal Alchemist:

1.) I've got questions. Summary: Edward smiled thinly, something viscous but not ugly (never ugly, not when it came to her) was the look in his feral eyes.

"Rose," gently, Ed thought, like she was Al or Winry when they were doing stupid shit, "that was a list that represented the complete chemical makeup of a human body for the average adult. It had been calculated to the last microgram, but still there has never been one reported case of successfully creating a human life."

Some people put their faith in gods to be able to live their life; some, like him, lived their life to achieve a goal. There had once been a time when Ed use to pray with mom. He had even prayed after mom had died but had stopped a long time ago.

It wasn't the constant frustration of loose ends (till now, Edward thought, Cornello's ring on his mind). No, he had stop praying even before that. It wasn't even the bastard's sharp jabs that were constant; always there as though Edward would ever let himself forget. What an idiot; how'd that man ever become a Colonel? Besides obviously burning children and women to death that corpses he climbed on to get to the top of the military.

2.) (What is) insanity but the ability to draw the perfect circle? Summary: There's a creak in a board behind him and he whirls around, hands ready to clap. It's Scar. Again there is a difference. Well differences technically. That makes his hand hover, pausing him from clapping. Scar, wearing glasses while inside on a rainy day, stares at the sight before him.

He should take a picture. It'll last longer.

"Are you Edward Elric the Fullmetal State Alchemist?"

Maybe it's because someone has actually him if he's Edward that he answers honestly. "No."

Or Edward is okay with suggesting to partner up with Scar to kill his Fuhrer (who might not be a homunculus in this universe) but isn't okay with Nina going in the rain and getting a cold.

For Star Wars:

1.) Love of a daughter. Summary: "and yet, so far at least we have yet to figure out what you gain from this." It's a question as well as statement. A chance to explain, to come clean on why she - a unknown Sith- had assassinated they're precious, beloved Chancellor (what fools). But how could you come clean when there is so much blood on her hands? Never-mind the sins and blood on Vader and Luke's when her family had been alive.

When she answers it's not because she's announcing her transgressions in hope that her heavy, dirty soul might be saved. One couldn't repent when they didn't feel guilt in their sin.

"For the love of a daughter." Leia pauses and looks back at Anakin and thinks: I did this to avenge you. After thinking that Leia says one more thing - the last thing actually because she nothing else to say after this.

"And you should have been more careful electing your Chancellor. You never know who is Sith." This has double meaning but she's the only person who knows it.

And she's fine with that (no, she isn't).

Leia wonders if her younger self and Luke will ever become the monsters like her Luke had been and the monster she is.

2.) When dreams come true (which they often do when Anakin Skywalker dreams them). Summary:It happens in the day, in the light. A dark masked man with heavy breath that was killing the slave owners and freeing the slaves. No one - not even the Hutts, who were now dead- could stop the droid looking man.

That doesn’t surprise Anakin though. Anakin had seen the stranger’s blade that coated the sands with different colors of blood. A red lightsaber. The man was a Jedi and he had come to free them.

(Or young Anakin's dream comes true just not in the way he dreamt it.)

3.) Nobody does it like Artoo. Summary: Because the droid had just killed Chancellor Palpatine. The man who was the closest thing Anakin had to father.

“Artoo please tell why you just killed Chancellor Palpatine?” He asks, in soft calm voice. He needs to keep a level head. Needs to be the Jedi many claim he cannot be. Deep breathe in. Deep breathe out. He could be calm when all he wanted to do was try to find the person who responsible for rewiring Artoo and show him/or her why it was a bad idea to touch his droid and make his droid kill a person he loved.

Artoo beeps his answer and Ana-

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN PAlPATINE IS DARTH SIDIOUS AND THAT YOU’RE FROM THE FUTURE!?”

4.) Of time travel and relationship blocking. Summary: But he knows the universe is better off by Artoo's travel in time. Palpatine is dead. Artoo had killed the Sith Master that had destroyed too much of his humans’ lives. There was no Empire and Darth Vader did not exist. The twins were raised by their creators. All was good except Leia was coming to age of no longer a child yet not an adult.

Which meant other human boys were becoming attracted to future Senator. Human boys who were not Han Solo. It was becoming rather frustrating - to the point Artoo felt like rolling into a wall- but at least Anakin agreed that these human boys did not belong with his creation. (Sequel to the fic above. Never did write more chapters for this fic but I do adore it.)

For Star Trek:

1.) I appreciate your enthusiasm, but Kodos will not be in this production. Summary: This was not how Jim imagined telling Bones about Tarsus IV. Actually that was a lie. Jim had planned to never tell Bones about Tarsus IV. But so is the life of Jim Kirk (also known as James T. Kirk, JT, Captain, and t'hy'la to Spock and Ambassador Spock who both had yet to tell him what that word meant. A childish part of Jim thinks that Hoshi would tell him if she was still alive before his mood darkens. The memories - the guilt - of that day flashes before his eyes and God does Jim hate drugs.).

2.)  Logically speaking. Summary: "Say mother had been," there had been a pause as Spock tried to find the right words to convey his question, "say mother went through unnecessary strife during her adolescent years and somehow you ended up in the past. Do you allow for her to face this to persevere an already faulted timeline or do you save her?"

By then, Amanda had made her way to her husband side so she could look into Spock's eyes. The question was odd and admittedly out there but her son's eyes said otherwise. Spock's eyes could be compared to an open book and that book told Amanda that this somehow was serious and her son was torn.

(Or the backstory on how Spock sort-of got permission from his father to steal a ship from the Vulcan Science Academy through Amanda Grayson's eyes.)

3.) I prefer to have my nightmares with open eyes. Crossover with Black Butler. Summary: Jimmy, JT, James Tiberius Kirk (whoever the hell he truly is) knows what it's like to adapt just to stay alive, to be whoever he needed to be just to survive. Just to eat.

It makes him laugh and JT doesn't know this but he reminds the demon (Sebastian he once was called and will take the name, the mask, of once again) of another young boy who the world had destroyed. Who had laugh a bitter laugh because that was all he could do. Crying, after all, did nothing. (Maybe one day I will write that Shinigami!Jim fic. If I ever do I will gift it to ShortyKatezey.)

4.) I need you, I need you, I need you right now. Don't leave me alone. Summary: It doesn’t matter in the end that this universe’s blue eyed James T. Kirk isn’t Spock Prime’s Jim. He still feels Jim-so familiar to his Captain, his Admiral, his Jim, his thyla yet so differnet, so angry, so broken - death.

It should have been me (it had been him in his universe) is Spock’s first thought after he momentarily gets over the wave, the crash of emotions he feels. His next thought is: I am not fine. (This is Spock Prime reacting to Jim's death in Into Darkness.)

5.) Of bored school boys and a death god. Crossover with Death Note. Summary: Ryuk drops the Death Note and a bored but brilliant beyond his years teenage boy picks it up. Sound familiar? Except it's not. JT is many things but a God complex isn't one of them.

For The Vampire Diaries:

1.) When did you dance with death? Summary: When did they all die? When did this become their lives? Was Damon to blame? Stefan to be blamed? Was Katherine to blame? Or Klaus to blame? Were Klaus' parents to blame for trying to keep their kids alive and eventually making them into monsters? Whose to blame for the fact they're all murders instead of simply, normal teenager?

And you know what? They're going to be dead for sure instead of just their morality and innocence having kicked the bucket. There's no vampire blood in their system that could cure them from what Klaus will inflict; Katherine ran from Klaus for hundreads of years and her family was slaughtered just because she wanted to live. They had killed Kol - Klaus' own brother - and trapped him with the burnt corpse.

2.) Revenge is best served with condoms. Summary: "I know who you are. You're the tasty little thing my older brother has come to truly fancy." Tasty little thing. Caroline froze; those words replaying in her head except in British accent (the only accent she truly had thing for).

For Yuri on Ice:

1.) The downside of love. Summary: Soulmates that share the bruises on their other's skin can have a downside if you haven't met them yet. Katsuki Yuuri learns this the hard way.