#excited to see them actually with the blue jersey. hopefully it looks nice all together not just on its own

[crow-the-unknown]

anyone else... *dodges bullet* really love the blue chrome buckets or- *gets shot and crumples very dramatically to the floor in a heap*

[asteriismos]

flashing lights — bill denbrough

pairing: bill denbrough x fem! reader

warning(s): smut, eighteen! bill denbrough, is it choking if he doesn’t squeeze?, fingering, piv sex, cursing, ig kinda degrading idk tho judge for yourself, unedited

summary: bill, the star baseball player of derry, and you, from another high school, meet in the locker room and get to know each other. 

words: 3.1k

note: don’t say i never gave you anything i am a woman of my word

sitting here in the bleachers adjacent to the baseball field, with the setting sun in your gaze and the feeling of newly spring wind on your skin, you had high hopes that your schools baseball team would win. out of all the schools in lieu with your own, bangor high school, derry’s team was the most anticipated of in the season. where most high schools in the nation favored the fall sport of football, the central part of maine where you lived actually liked baseball more, so when the first sprouts of spring showed, everyone was excited for the next season. 

you were a senior, almost finished with school and personally tasked yourself and your group of friends with trying to go to every single baseball game that you all could make it to - whether they were at home or away. 

“look, he’s up to bat,” your friend marcella said, catching your attention by lightly tapping your shoulder and motioning to the field. there you saw your close friend owen, who was the star player of your school’s team and one of your friends since you were a little kid. he was the person who introduced you to the group that you were here with now, here specifically to cheer him on. 

you saw him walk to home plate, bat in hand and getting into position to swing. your eyes took you across from him to the pitcher of the other team, who you didn’t know but could see the name displayed on the back of his shirt. denbrough. you raised your eyebrow at the last name, it didn’t ring a bell. 

the crowd started to cheer for your friend, waiting for denbrough to throw the first pitch. everything became silent, and the ball was thrown with stellar accuracy. whoever this denbrough boy was, he was seemingly a really good pitcher. when the second ball was thrown and owen missed yet again, your hand ran through your hair nervously. you could hear people whispering all around you, wondering if he was going to strike out. 

just as if someone of the heavens was listening to the anxious worries of your fellow classmates, denbrough went to throw the ball and owen swung and the ball went flying, going straight for the outfield as owen ran with all his might to first base. you cheered with your friends, yelling words of encouragement and praise towards your team. 

the game, from that point, was in your high schools favor. it was seemingly decided almost halfway through that bangor high school had it in the bag, which did nothing for any person in your crowds ego. just as the last inning was finished, your school came out victorious. 

“hopefully this means that we’re going to the championships this year,” you heard people say. “and maybe we can host it at our school so we don’t have to drive all the way out here again.” 

you were anxious to see your friend, running down the stairs of the bleachers and shouting his name, but owen didn’t hear you. sighing, you turned to your group to say, “should we get back home?” the team would have to come back by bus anyways, which sucked, because you wanted to congratulate your friend on such a good win. 

“yeah, probably before it gets too late, you know how bad those backroads are,” jake stated. “do you want to catch a ride with me? im sure marcella can take your car back.” 

half of you wanted to go with them and just see owen later, but to you, it felt like poor taste to make him wait that long. plus, maybe you could catch him before he left. you shook your head, “no, i’ll stay. i want to see the team. go without me, I'll see you tomorrow.” 

jake laughed. “okay, just don’t get lost.” he wiggled his eyebrows in a teasing manner and walked away, taking your friends with him and leaving you alone in the front of derry high school. 

you had been here once before, just for a short while and after a baseball game like right now. but that was all the way back during freshman year when you were trying to find the bathroom, you really had no idea where the locker rooms were. 

opening the large door, you started along the main hallway, looking at the posters that aligned the wall that reminded you of your own school. derry was really similar in layout, so perhaps it wouldn’t be that hard. turning the corner, you saw a sign that pointed to the gym and the locker rooms. in no time you were there, but there was no one coming out of the doors. had they already left and you missed them? it was silent. 

you put your ear to the door and listened, hearing some rustling. you knocked, but there was no answer, making you raise your eyebrow. and you don’t exactly know what prompted you to open the wooden door and make your way inside, but you did, and along the array of closed lockers, your eyes took you to the one person who was in there. 

it was the denbrough pitcher. 

you got a good look of him now, with his honeyed locks that fell messy on his forehead, standing taller than you. his back was slightly turned to you and through his jersey you could see his toned back muscles, making you lose yourself for a moment and send you almost stumbling over your feet. you knew that he was attractive from the moment you set your eyes on him but you didn’t know that he was this attractive. 

he turned around now and immediately those dazzling cerulean blue eyes landed on you, making your face heat up in realizing that this was not the visitors locker room like you had intended on trying to find. 

“sorry,” you fumbled out after a moment of shameless staring. “I was looking for my friend.” denbrough tilted his head to the side and you watched him take out a bag and push his locker door closed. instead of walking out like you should’ve, you just stood there watching him. it was in poor taste, since the longer you looked at him, you could see clearly that he was angry. 

a tiny grin came to his face. “it’s fine, no one’s in here except me anyways.” a silent moment passed and then a quizzical look came to his face, eyes falling back on you. “wait . . . weren’t you cheering on the other team?” he had noticed you, just as you were now noticing him. the room seemed a lot smaller than it had earlier and you ignored the fluttering feeling in your stomach the longer he stared at you. you didn’t even know his name. 

“yeah, it was a good game,” you shrugged your shoulders. 

“we should’ve won that game.” 

a cocky grin splayed on your features. “well, im sure you’ll get another shot next time.” you would have to play them again to secure a spot in the championships, it was still rather early in the season anyways. 

“will you be at the next game?” denbrough asked, he walked closer to you now, and there was a look in his eyes that was not easy to mistake. he was looking at you like you were a full course meal and he was the hungriest man on earth. and you liked the way that he looked at you, this gorgeous boy that you had barely met, and you wanted him to keep looking at you like that. well, you would rather him be doing other things. “maybe we could go do something together afterwards.” now you were certain of his likeness for you. 

you gave him a smirk. “well, i don’t know about that, i wouldn’t want to get involved with the opposing team.” when he noticed you were directly giving back the same energy he was giving, his feet stopped so he was just inches away from you. it took everything in you to keep yourself from grabbing him by those large muscles and - 

in a moment of weakness or just pure idiocy, you did exactly as you thought, lunging yourself forward, hands reaching for his face and pulling him into a searing kiss. when he reciprocated your movements, you had to stop another smirk from rising to your face, pushing it down and focusing on your hands that made it’s way to his soft hair. 

your kiss was unexpected by denbrough, though seemingly not unwelcome since his hands found their place exploring your sides, not being exactly gentle with his touches which you didn’t mind. this was so unlike you, doing something like this with someone you didn’t know. and to be honest, it was unlike him, too. 

but both of you were giving each other the ‘fuck me’ eyes and well, you only live once, right? 

as the kiss became more sloppy and he broke it to press kisses to your jawline and trailing down your neck, you breathed out and closed your eyes. “I don’t even know your name.” you sighed into his touches though, not really caring what his name was but knowing that it would probably be useful sometime soon. 

denbrough came back up to meet your gaze. “it’s bill,” he gave you a grin. “pleasure to meet you.” there was a sense of teasing in his tone, which you would’ve laughed at if his hands weren't reaching for where your shirt met your pants. 

“y/n,” you said weakly, already feeling your legs start to give out by the way that he was looking at you. you reached out to bill, wanting to feel his body pressed against yours again. he chuckled at your eagerness, giving you what you wanted by slowly pushing you against the lockers behind you. you felt the cool metal through your shirt and instantly realized how hot it was getting in this locker room, your skin was already on fire. 

bill reattached his lips to your skin and you spent the time trying to undo the belt that was around his pants that nicely accentuated everything that you wanted from him. thank god for baseball pants. 

tentatively, you pressed your hips against his and you heard a groan leave his throat, his lips stalling for a moment and then going back to his earlier movements. you were well aware of how excited he was, taking a moment to note that you could feel that he was absolutely fucking enormous. 

of course he was. 

as if he had enough of this teasing, his hand reached down and went straight under the band of your pants, being met with the wetness that was gathering in your panties. you bucked your hips forward into his hand and he smirked at how compliant you seemed to be with him. his other hand was gripping your side, keeping you close to him while the other pushed your panties to the side and the pad of his pointer finger came into contact with your slit. 

you moaned out and bill covered your mouth with his own, not kissing you but keeping it there. “so tell me,” he said, breath hot against you, finger tracing a line from your slick folds to your clit, making you almost keel over if it hadn’t been for his hand keeping you up and body pressing you farther into the locker. “this friend of yours, he was on your team wasn’t he?” 

you nodded, not trusting your voice. but he didn’t seem to like that, his hand stalling and not moving no matter how much you tried to gain friction. 

“answer me with words,” the hand on your side coming up to the bottom of your throat so you were forced to look at him in the face, those blue eyes on him seemingly had become darker. 

you took in a sharp breath. “yes,” you answered. his movements started again, but this time he took one finger and pushed it inside you till he was knuckle deep in, a large moan falling off of your tongue, eyes rolling to the back of your skull. 

“and how do you think he would feel seeing you like this for me? the star player of the other team?” bill’s tone was condescending and you wondered if he was normally like this, or he was just angry about the outcome of the game. his finger sped up, soon being joined with another one that slipped in with ease. you were so wet for him already. “but you wouldn’t care, would you?” 

it was seemingly rhetorical, because he didn’t wait for you to answer and instead attached his lips to your throat, teeth grazing a point that had you gasping, hand coming and tugging on those locks of his, the other falling to his neck. 

“bill,” you muttered. “please just-” you were cut off by a moan, gripping him close as his thumb came into contact with your clit and rubbed tight circles against it. 

he looked up at you from the mess he was creating on your neck. “please what?” 

“just fuck me.” 

you were really in no position to be making such requests since bill seemed to be in control (which really, you didn’t mind if it meant that he was making you feel good in the process), but at this point you were too strung out to care what he thought of the rather forward request. you knew that you needed him and you needed him now. 

bill pulled away from you and you took in his now ragged features, noticing the tint of red in his cheeks and the freckles that dotted them, and the goldenness that he seems to radiate. in some ways you hoped that this wouldn’t be your only encounter with the denbrough boy, but that was something to worry about later, since his hands were undoing the rest of his belt and you knew that was your cue to do the same with your own pants. 

soon enough you were back in the same position, one of his hands next to your head on the locker behind you as he moved to position his cock at your entrance, eyes meeting with yours as he pushed in to look at your reaction. and it was everything that he hoped to see, your mouth opening into an ‘o’ shape, lips parted and eyes never leaving his own. 

once he bottomed out, he already started a fast rhythm, giving you little to no time to adjust. but you were so needy you didn’t care, not one bit because he was making you feel so good that you wished for this moment to last forever. and you were already so wet and willing, bill couldn’t wait a second longer. 

your hands gripped onto his forearms, steadying yourself, but it was hard to keep your legs from giving out. bill must've noticed your struggle and leaned down, grabbing you by the back of your thighs and hoisting you up in his arms, using the leverage of the locker to fuck into you. 

the change in position made you quiver in his arms like putty, arms wrapping around his neck and caging him close to you. incoherent words fell from your mouth that wouldn’t close no matter how hard you tried, while his pace became fast, rough, and unrelenting. you didn’t know bill well but you could tell that he was adamant about making you feel good, which fueled the fire inside of you even more. 

if he was tired from playing the game, he didn’t even show it. bill fucked into you with such a frenzy that it was almost animalistic, which made you wonder how much energy this boy possibly had. what you didn’t know was it was your moans what were spurring him on, your moans that kept him going. bill had already been to point of exhaustion from the game but you were able to give him a second wind and he was not fucking up this one like he had fucked up in the game. his determination both of the field and in this moment caught up with him and well, he was bringing all of his emotion out. 

and you loved it so much that you couldn’t think straight. all you could do was try and keep yourself still, words stringing together into barely put together sentences of oh fuck yes and that feels so good. 

it was a moment of pure bliss that you didn’t even feel yourself start to clench around him, noticing it finally when you felt every inch of him scrape against your willing walls, bringing you closer to that cliff into a sea of pleasure that only he could give you. what finally made you break was the groans that he was making, which were hot and heavy and like heaven to your ears that you knew you would be playing on repeat before you went to sleep tonight. 

and then his hand slipped between your legs, pressing up against your swollen clit and that was it. you were sent into a state of pure, fucked out bliss as you came around him, your moans everything but silent. luckily there seemed to be no one around to hear, and if they did they didn’t bother with stopping it.

a few thrusts afterwards and with an insistent command from you to cum inside you because you were on the pill, bill came undone and it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen in his life. as if this boy couldn’t get more perfect, haven been basically sent to you on a gift from god himself. he pulled out and you could feel the evidence slightly dripping out of you and onto your thighs. 

there was a moment of cleaning up, where he actually grabbed a towel from his locker and helped you wipe away everything and eventually sit down onto the bench between the sides of lockers. where you thought would be awkwardness, there wasn’t, a few words passed between the two of you and then you told him that you should go, you had to drive home. 

surprisingly, he asked if you needed help and then you remembered you barely knew him and shook your head. it was late anyways, he probably had things to do. 

and when you got control of your limbs again (which bill cheekily smirked at), you walked out of the high school, him trailing behind you. you gave him one last look before parting ways, and in the heat of the moment, you told him your number and to call him if he ever wanted to get together again. 

[13dead-ends]

Potions Tutor

Gryffindor Chaser!Henry Cavill x Slytherin!reader

Summary: You tutor Henry who’s struggling in potions, and you slowly realized how much you come to like him over that past few months of studying together.

Warnings: FLUFF, mention of head wounds, mentions of stitches, very small mention of verbal abuse? sorta?, 

A/N: I love Harry Potter and imagining a young Gryffindor Henry had my heart skipping a beat. Henrys family is in this but I changed names and kind of just made the characters up. I felt weird putting their real names in it. Anyways! I wrote this at 3:30am last night, because my tiktok feed is full of Harry Potter. And it’s roughly edited. Thanks again to @hellcaster901 for proofing everything I write! 😊Happy reading!

I looked down at my books as, yet another girl flirted with Henry. A sweet Ravenclaw, she sat next to me in Defense Against the Dark Arts last year. I couldn’t blame her, or the other girls. Really, I was in the same boat as them. No one knew it. I tried focusing on the study guide I was helping Henry with. It was helping me too; tutoring Henry in Potions was helping me improve as much as him. That’s how we met this year. Henry wasn’t doing too well in class, he needed good grades to play for the Gryffindor Quidditch team and Snape had me tutor him. He kept his grades up and he stayed on the Quidditch team.

“Sydney, I really need to get back to potions, especially when I have the best in our year to help me.” I looked up at them and smiled. Hoping she’d stop taking up my precious time with Henry. He’d be leaving early to practice today too. A big Gryffindor vs Slytherin game tomorrow.

“Of course, I need to study too. Nice to see you both.” She walked off and Henry leaned forward.  

“Sorry Y/N.” He smiled at me and mine got bigger.  

“It’s okay. You’re doing really well anyways.” He was. He had improved so much over the past few months. He said this is the best he’s done in all five years we’d been here. We only were together during study hall and said hello in the hallways, but somehow, he had me wrapped around his finger. One day last month though, he had yelled a group of girls who were bullying me for being muggle-born. He got them to leave and helped me out of the snow, where they had shoved me. I would always love him for that.  

“Am I? I’m really anxious about the exam.” He looked down at the ingredient list he was trying to memorize.

“Yes, you’re going to pass, Henry.” I smiled and heard the doors to the Great Hall open and looked to see a small group of Gryffindors in quidditch gear come toward us. “Looks like my time’s up with you anyway.” I started closing my books.

“Cavill, stop talking to the enemy, time for practice.” Wood called. I looked down at the Slytherin patch sewn on my robes. Wood winked at me. He was only teasing. He better be, I helped him with his last potions exam. Henry started packing up. He was the star Chaser this year, plus one of his brothers’ is a Beater. He was really good. Another reason he was so well liked.  

“Thank you, Y/N. I’ll see you around.”

“Bye Henry! Have fun.” He grinned at me one more time and ran off with his team. I looked down at my books and sighed.

~~~

“Y/N! I jumped when a pair of hands squeezed my shoulders. I turned to see Henry, already in his jersey, almost glowing with excitement.  

“Henry, you scared me.” I smiled up at him from my seat in the Great Hall.  

“You’re coming today right?” Sophia, my roommate and best friend, gave me a look. Henry had never asked me about coming to games, I was just as surprised as her.

“Of course!” It was a Slytherin game, so technically I was going to support my house. Who was I kidding? My eyes would be on Henry the whole time. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Good, I’m glad you’ll be there, even if you have to watch your team loose.” I scoffed, smirking at him.  

“Don’t get too cocky, Cavill. Slytherin’s only one loss behind you.” He shrugged and his smiled hadn’t left his face.

“I’ll let you get back to breakfast. Bye, Y/N.”

“See you out there, Henry.”  

“Well that was cute.” Sophia stared at me. My cheeks were burning. “Was he flirting with you?”

“No, I’m just his tutor that’s all.” I looked back down at my plate.  

“Oh my god, you were flirting back too.” She hit my shoulder. “You have a crush on Gryffindor’s chaser.”

“Shut up, Sophia!” I hit her back. “Hurry up and eat, I want good seats.”

“Oh, I’m sure you do.”  

The cold bit my cheeks as I sat down. My friend Zoe, a Hufflepuff, had gotten us some front row spots. I could see the field below and the hoops towered up on either ends of it. I stuffed my gloved hands in my armpits hoping they’d warm up a little. “Thanks, Zoe.” Sophia sat next to me.  

“Of course!” She smiled at us and rubbed her hands together.

“Let’s start already. It’s cold.” Sophia pulled her scarf tighter. I laughed at her, but I couldn’t feel my nose. It was cloudy and looked like it might snow today. Hopefully not during the game. Soon the announcer started calling out the teams. They zoomed around the field. I smiled as I saw Henry fly past us, the wind blowing my hair back. Zoe clapped her hands as the game started. Rivalry games were always the best. The teams always played just a little bit better. Henry was making too many points to count, but the Slytherin beaters weren’t making it easy. They were bigger seventh years, sending almost every Bludger his way. I winced as one went flying past Henry’s legs, dangling from the broom.

“Damn, this is the best we’ve played all year.” Sophia watched as one of our chasers scored.

“I know! Those bludgers are laying it on thick, though.” Zoe’s eyes followed the quaffle. Henry caught it once again and flew toward the hoops at full speed. I leaned forward watching him speed toward the keeper without fear. Suddenly one of the Slytherin beaters smacked a bludger directly to Henry. It hit the side of his head hard and he fell off his broom, going limp completely. I gasped, shooting out of my seat. He picked up speed as he got closer to the grass, but something invisible caught him just before hitting the dirt. Madam Hooch had casted a spell, she set him down gently and he lay unconscious.

I ran into the into the infirmary, seeing the entire Gryffindor quidditch team surrounding one bed, Madam Pomfrey scurrying around them. I took a deep breath and walked forward. My shoes were loud in the mostly empty room. Some of the team turned to me. They did a double take when they saw my green and silver scarf.  

“What’s a Slytherin girl doing here?” One of them said.

“Come to rub it in?” Slytherin’s seeker had caught the snitch soon after Henry was taken here.

“Boy’s let her through,” Oliver Wood made a gap for me. “She’s his friend too.” I smiled at Oliver until he stepped back. Henry lay in bed, a large bandage over the right side of his head. He was awake though. Blue eyes open and looking right at me.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” An older boy stood on the other side of the bed, he resembled Henry, this must be his brother. I stepped closer to the side of the bed.

“I just-um. I was worried. Are you okay?”

“He’s fine, just needs rest.” Madam Pomfrey called.

“I got a few stitches, that’s all.” Henry smiled at me. “Thank you.”

“Good I’m glad.” I sighed in relief. He was awake and talking. “I thought I told you not to get cocky though.” He rolled his eyes.

“How about you tell your beaters to lay off.” He chuckled.

“Trust me, Madam Pomfrey did just that.”  

“Ian, can you go get the rest of our brothers?”

“Yeah, Henry, of course.” Ian was his name. He squeezed Henry’s arm and ran off.  

“We should give the guy some space guys.” Wood ushered the team away and I followed, but Henry grabbed my wrist.  

“Do you want to stay, until my brothers get her at least.” My heart fluttered.

“Of course, Henry.”

~~~

I walked around Honeydukes with Sophia, our usual stop while visiting Hogsmeade. I had already picked and paid for my sweets, but she was taking longer to decide. I adjusted the grip of my bag and picked up a box of Cauldron Cakes. “What about Cauldron Cakes? You love those.”

“Yes, perfect. That’s it, I need to get out of here.” I waited by the door as she went to the register. I rocked on my feet and debated on pulling out my Licorice Wands out now. I heard the doorbell tinkle and saw Henry step in.

“Y/N, hi!” He smiled. It had been a week or two since the game and Henry’s head only needed a small bandage now.

“Hey,” I smiled back at him. “How are you?” The last time I saw him was a few days ago after he had come running to show me, he passed his potions exam.

“Good, how are you?” He leaned on the wall next to me.

“Great now that I got my candy.” He chuckled as I held up my bag.

“That’s always important.” He looked at me. “I realized that we never hang out outside of studying. Would you want to come to the Three Broomsticks with me?” He shrugged.

“Yes, I’d love to. I just need to tell my friend.” I turned to see Sophia walking over to us and tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach.  

“Hey Y/N, and Henry, right?” He held out his hand to Sophia as she stood next to me.

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m Sophia.” He smiled at her.

“Sophia do you mind if I go with Henry for a little while?” I looked over to her and her eyebrows raised.

“Of course not. I’ll go find Zoe.” She squeezed my arm. “See you guys.” She walked out.

“Shall we?” We walked to the Inn, our arms brushing every now and then. When we got inside, Henry got us Butterbeers and I pick a table for us. I sat down and it didn’t take Henry long to come over her with two drinks. I instantly took a drink when he set them down. I smiled at the taste.

“So is your whole family Slytherin?” He asked.

“No, muggles actually.” I sighed. I wondered for a second what if I had been sorted into Gryffindor that night. I remembered Henry’s brothers making the loudest cheers as their brother was sorted into their house. There were no cheers for me as I was sorted into the house whose table was opposite Herny’s.

“Really?” His eyes widened. “What did they think, that first year?” I huffed, blowing a piece of hair out of my face.

“They were definitely surprised.” An image of my dad screaming at me, Hogwarts letter in his hand flashed in my head. “They didn’t really do much else to help, or with anything to do with magic.” He frowned.

“Your parents never helped? How did you get everything or find the train?”  

“They’ve never really been supportive anyways, but we had this neighbor. I always thought she was cooky but turns out she had gone to school here. She recognized the seal when it came in that morning while she was checking her mail.” I chuckled at the frail woman. “She took me everywhere I needed to go and saw me off at the station.” Maureen had become the grandmother I never had. Both of my parents’ parents had passed away.

“I’m sorry your parents are so unaccepting, but this Maureen woman seems wonderful.” I smiled.

“All of your brothers are Gryffindors, right?” He nodded, letting me change the subject. “What about your parents?”

“Dad’s a Gryffindor, Mum’s a Ravenclaw.” I smiled. After I met Maureen and gotten my hands on her books, I did research on Hogwarts. I had thought I could be Ravenclaw. “My mum wanted Thomas to be a Ravenclaw so bad.” I laughed, I remembered that sorting as well, the same, just with Henry’s added cheers as his youngest brother came down to their table.

“Oh, poor thing, she’s the only Ravenclaw and woman in your house.”

“Do you have siblings?” I shook my head.

“No, I’ve always wanted a brother though.”

“You can have any of mine.” He chuckled and I felt warm seeing him like this.  

A month later and I was helping Sophia pack her bag for Christmas holiday. I usually would be packing with her, but not this year. My first Christmas while going to Hogwarts at been spent at Maureen’s. I told my parents I couldn’t leave school, but just snuck into their own neighbor's house one day. Before I could have another Christmas with her, she passed away that school year. I spent that one alone at the school. The last too were spent with Sophia and her family. Her family was more fun than mine would ever be. This year they were going on a tropical vacation though. I couldn’t afford a ticket and they had the entire family to take. I didn’t mind. Hogwarts always had good Christmases. I smiled remembering how the hall looked my second year.

“I’ll send you my present with Bucky and just send mine back with him.” Sophia’s little barn owl was perched in his cage now.  

“Perfect.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” I nodded.

“Of course. I’m good here.” She shook her head.

“Yeah, but alone on Christmas?” She shut her trunk.

“I’m going to be fine. I already have a plan.” She furrowed her brows. “On Christmas Day I’m going to read The Christmas Carol and stuff myself silly with food and cake.” Sophia laughed.

“That does sound like a good Christmas.” She hugged me. “I’ll miss you.” She let me go.

“I’ll miss you too.” Soon she was finished and went to go make sure her brothers were packing. I decided to go down to the common room to read by the fire for a little while. I grabbed my book, but before I could leave my room Sophia and my other roommate Joy came in.

“Hey, Y/N, that Gryffindor chaser’s upstairs looking for you.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks.” She shrugged and went to her bed. I dropped my book and went to find Henry. We I stepped out the door of the common room I saw Henry leaning on the opposite wall, looking really cute in a red sweater. “Henry? What’s up?”

“Sophia told me you’re staying here for Christmas?” He crossed his arms.

“Yes?” I furrowed my brows.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I shrugged.

“I don’t know.”  

“Well, you’re coming home with me.” I froze, butterflies in my stomach. “I owe you for getting me through potions this year.”

“Henry, you don’t have to. Besides, I don’t want to intrude on your family-”

“The more the merrier. Actually, my mom would be cross if I didn’t invite you.” I rubbed my head.

“I’m not packed at all.”

“So, start packing now. You’re coming packed or not.”  

“Henry-”

“Shush, go pack.” He turned me around and pushed me back to the door. I whispered the password and stepped inside. “I’ll talk to you more after dinner tonight.” Henry called.

“So, are you going?” I had packed my trunk and had only gotten the chance to tell Sophia when we met up at dinner.  

“He doesn’t seem to be giving me much choice.” She shook my shoulder, and I snuck a glance at his back. He was sitting at the Gryffindor table with his brothers who I will be meeting offically soon.  

“Make a move while you’re there.” Sophia nudged me.

“Me? Initiating something?”

“You’re going to have to eventually.” I sighed.

“I guess I’ll send you a letter if I do.” We finished eating and filed out with the rest of the students. Before I could turn towards the common room, I was pulled out of the river of students by Henry.

“Hey, are you packed?” He grinned at me. He pulled me down an emptier hallway, but I saw his brothers up a head. All four of them.

“Almost. Are you sure I should come? I don’t have-”

“You’re coming.” He cut me off and we reached his brothers. “I wanted to introduce you to some of my family before we leave.” I smiled up at them. “This is James, William, Ian, and Thomas.”  

“I’m Y/N.” James, who I think is the oldest, smirked.

“You didn’t say she was a Slytherin.” He chuckled, and I swallowed. “I’m only joking. It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.” He held his hand out and I shook it.

“You as well. All of you.” I fiddled with my fingers under my robes. “Thanks for letting me tag along.”

“Trust me, if we could take you and leave him, we would.” I giggled as Henry rolled his eyes at Ian this time.

“You’ve been helping Henry with Potions, right?” William spoke up.

“Yeah, I have.”

“Maybe you could help Thomas too.” The youngest of the five scratched the back of his neck.

“Shut up, Will.” He muttered.

“No, it’s okay!” I smiled. “I’m sure you can’t be worse than Henry was.” All four burst into laughter. Henry glared at me, but it slowly turned into a smile. I laughed with them and Henry joined eventually.

“Dad’s going to hear about that.” James nudged Henry.

“I like you already.” William patted my shoulder.  

“Okay, let's get you back to the dungeons.” Henry was grinning as we fell into pace with each other.

“Your brothers seem great. Thanks for introducing us before.”

“I figured it wouldn’t be as overwhelming, but I didn’t expect you to betray me like that.” He bumped our shoulders.

“Oh, come on, you were not doing great a few months ago.” I bumped him back.

“Shut up.”

James helped me with my trunk after I said goodbye to Sophia. The train ride was quick as my nerves for meeting Henry’s parents worsened. Now without Sophia’s safety net and the moment looming over me I was anxious. James placed my trunk on a trolley, and I took the handles, my palms sweaty. Henry threw his on top of mine, taking the handle from me.

“My dad should be around here somewhere.” He looked around, just like his brothers ahead of us. I breathed in and out. “Don’t be nervous. They’re great.” He nudged me.  

“Boys!” We turned to our right and saw a man who resembled Henry standing a few feet away. Henry’s face lit up and all five boys picked up the pace. I hung back a little, letting the boys have a moment with their father. “Where’s your plus one, Henry?” His father said as they hugged.

“I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you Mr. Cavill.” He took my hand in both of his own and squeezed.  

“The pleasure’s all mine, dear.”

“Thank you so much for letting me stay with you.”

“The boy’s friends are always welcome.” I smiled. “Come on, let’s get home.” We took floo powder to get to the Cavill’s home. I had only done this once, but luckily Mr. Cavill sent us in pairs. I just had to hand on to Henry while he did all the work. I liked the feeling of his hand on my waist. We stepped out of his fireplace into a big living room, with a beautiful tree in the corner. The boys who were in front of us were hugging their mother and soon Henry stepped forward to do the same. She was beautiful and her hair curled like Henry’s.  

“Hello dear, you must be, Y/N.” Mr. Cavill whooshed in behind me as Mrs. Cavill brought me into a hug.

“Yes, hello. It’s nice to meet you.” I told her.  

“Let’s get your things into Henry’s room, okay?” She helped me take my trunk up and I smiled at Henry’s room. A few band posters and quidditch posters hung on the wall, and a picture of him with all his brothers sat on the desk.

“Thank you for letting me stay.” I said as we walked back down.

“I’m just excited to have another girl in the house.” She laughed. “I made supper, once everyone’s settled, we’ll eat.” I went back to the living room and sat down on the couch next to Henry.

“I’m staying in your room?” I asked Henry.

“Yeah, I’ll be in my brother’s room. Is that okay?”  

“Sure, I just didn’t want to kick you out of your bed.”

“I’ll be fine.” He smiled at me. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

~~~

I woke up on Christmas morning and smiled. I opened my eyes and got up out of Henry’s bed. I could already hear voices upstairs, so I pulled a sweater over my tank top and stepped out. Staying with the Cavill’s had been a dream. They were the most welcoming people I had ever met. It was hard to feel out of place here. I walked down the hall and almost ran into Henry as he stepped out, yawning.

“Happy Christmas, Henry.” He smiled down at me and pulled me into a hug. I was surprised at first but accepted it immediately. I smiled in his shoulder.

“Happy Christmas, Y/N.” He pulled away and we walked down the stairs to find the rest of the family talking around the tree. There was a spot open on the couch and Henry let me have it. I sat crisscross and Henry sat on the floor below me, his hair brushing my legs.

“Happy Christmas you too.” Mrs. Cavill kissed her son’s head and patted my cheek. The boys all wished me a happy Christmas as well and then Mrs. Cavill started handing out gifts. I had put Sophia’s gift under the tree when it arrived, and that’s what she handed me first. I opened it and inside was a journal with a set of quills and ink. I smiled at the nice leather the paper was bound in.

“What did you get Y/N?” I handed him the journal.

“It like to record experiments I do with potions. I needed a new journal for it.” I explained.

“Nerd,” I hit his shoulder. “Kidding, this is really nice.” He handed it back. I didn’t think I’d be getting anything more, but Mrs. Cavill came around with another gift for me.

“That’s from all of us.” She smiled.

“Oh, you didn’t have to.” I felt my heart swell.

“Just open it, dear.” She waved her hand. I opened it and there was a brand-new green and silver scarf inside. “Are the colors okay? I’m so used to red and gold.”

“I love it, thank you so much.” My cheeks hurt from smiling by the time presents were over. I was content with my scarf and journal, but Henry stopped me from following his mother into the kitchen. It was only us too in the room now.

“Y/N, I got you something.” Henry grabbed a present missed by Mrs. Cavill. He sat next to me on the couch and I turned to face him.

“Oh, Henry,” I chewed on my nail. “I didn’t get you anything. I didn’t' have time to-”

“It’s okay. Just open mine.” He held out the box and I took it. “Careful, it’s fragile.” I scrunched my brows and began unwrapping it.

“Henry, oh my god.” I lifted the set of glass jars out of the box. They were twist off lids and had the names of different potion ingredients painted on the sides.  

“You always said you never felt organized.” Henry’s cheeks were a little pink.  

“Henry, I love them.” I set them back down and pulled him into a hug. “Best gift I’ve ever gotten.” He squeezed my waist and as I pulled away, he caught my lips with his. My cheeks were hot, and my heartbeat was is in my ears. I held his face and kissed him back.

~~~

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@xxxkatxo​  @omgkatinka​

[pansexualgrapes]

I Want You. I Need You. I Love You.

Part 1: I Want You

Dean x reader

Warnings: implied smut but no actual smut, kissing? bad writing? that's it.

About 2000 words

Author’s Note: So this is my first supernatural fanfiction, so fingers crossed. This will be a three part fanfiction, and each chapter will be fairly long. So, without further ado, enjoy my hopefully good writing.

When you meet Dean Winchester, you’re in a shady downtown bar. It’s the kind where the lights flicker and the bar stools creak when you sit down. But you’re not here for the atmosphere. You’re here for the cheap booze. You had just broken up with your boyfriend, and alcohol seemed to be the thing you needed right now. You knew the relationship had been heading down hill, but it still hurt when you broke up. You could never seem to make anything work.

You decide to play some pool to take your mind off your troubles. You haven’t been playing for very long when you hear a gruff voice from across the pool table. You look up to see the most gorgeous man standing in front of you.

“Mind if I join, sweetheart?” the man says.

You quickly close your mouth after you realize it had been hanging open. You compose yourself enough to answer.

“Yeah, sure,” you say, trying to stop your voice from shaking.

You grab the triangle and start to gather the balls. :) The man starts to help you collect all of them. Your arms brush as you fill the triangle. That simple touch sends your heart racing and blood rushing to your cheeks. You look away se he doesn't see you blush. You don't see him glance at you and smirk.

Fifteen minutes later, you’re losing badly. He only has three left and you have six. You miss the next shot you take. You huff and cross your arms. “Your turn.”

He smirks and takes his shot, getting one in, but he misses the next one.

“Your turn sweetheart,” he says with a smugness that makes you grit your teeth in irritation. Or it would, if you didn’t know exactly what you’re doing. You bend down to take your shot, pretending to be frustrated. You don’t notice him check out your ass. You drain the first ball, and then the second. The third and fourth follow closely behind. He just stares at you as you win. A furrow forms in between his brows. As you drain the eight ball, you look up at him and grin. He gives you a tight smile, trying not to look annoyed, but you can see the corner of his mouth twitching. He comes around the table to stand by you.

“You played me sweetheart.” He’s trying to cover it, but his pride is hurt.

“Yah, I kinda did. but it wouldn't be much fun letting you win, would it?” you say with a flirty smile.

He moves closer to you. His gaze meets yours and you can’t look away. It’s like you’re hypnotized. Your bodies are impossibly close now. His breath smells like whiskey.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” he asks in a husky voice.

It’s a tempting offer, and you want to say yes so bad, but you had just broken up with your boyfriend, and a one-night-stand isn't what you need right now. You don’t know why, but something tells you to take it slow with this guy.

“I can’t I just- right now I can’t.” it pains you to refuse, ”but here's my number. If you ever want to get out, go on a date or something, just call me.”

You write your name and number on a napkin and give it to him. He takes it with a smile.

“Thanks sweetheart. I’ll take you up on that offer sometime.” He says it honestly. Something in eyes makes you think he’s genuinely interested in you. “Y/N, pretty name. I’ll see you around, Y/N.” he gives you a cheesy wink.

You laugh. “I’ll see you around...”

Dean, Dean Winchester.”

“I’ll see you around Dean Winchester.”

You don’t hear from Dean until a week later. You’re cutting vegetables in your kitchen when you get the call.

“Hey sweetheart.” His voice is a little shaky.

“Oh! Dean, hi!” you're surprised to say the least. After a week of not hearing from him, you had almost lost hope. “What’s up?”

“I was just wondering how you’ve been.” Dean says. He sounds nervous.

“Um, I’ve been pretty good. How ‘bout you?”

“Yah... yah I’m good.” He obviously wants to ask you something else.

“So did you call me to ask me how I’m doing?” you question. Dean lets out a nervous laugh.

“Um, no. I was actually wondering if you wanted to go out on a date with me on Friday.”

You smile widely. “Of course I’ll go on a date with you.”

“Awesome! That’s great. Can I pick you up on Friday about 6pm?”

“Yeah, that sounds great!” you pause, deciding your next words. “Dean, I’m glad you called.”

“It took me a while to finally grow a set and call you,” he says, and you laugh, “but I’m glad, too.”

The both of you are silent for a moment, before Dean speaks again.

“I was thinking we could go to Novak’s. You ever been?” he asks.

“I’ve seen it, but never been inside,” you admit.

“My friend owns it. It’s amazing sweetheart, you’ll love it,” he promises. “So Friday, I’ll see you then?”

“Yes, definitely. See you then.”

“Good-bye, sweetheart.”

“Bye Dean.”

Dean picks you up right on time on Friday. You’re wearing a simple, but attractive outfit; dark denim jeans, a Led Zepplin T-shirt, a black leather jacket, and black boots. You put on some makeup, but not a lot. It is, altogether a comfortable outfit, and you feel confident in it. Dean looks handsome as ever in blue jeans, T-shirt and brown leather jacket.

“You look gorgeous sweetheart,” he says, a small smile gracing his lips.

You blush and look down. “Thank you,” you say, meeting his eyes again. ”You look very handsome yourself.”

You can tell he’s nervous, but not anxious, just excited.

“You ready?” he asks, and you nod. He goes to open the car door for you, and you notice how beautiful his car is. You can tell he loves it and takes care of it. The drive isn’t long, and the silence doesn’t feel awkward with classic rock playing gently in the back ground.

The restaurant is nice and homey, not to fancy. It looks like a family run restaurant, which is fine with you. You like these kind of places anyway. The two of you are seated across from each other in one of the booths. The waitress comes and takes your orders then walks away. There’s an awkward silence, and you decide to break it.

“So what do you do for work Dean?” you question.

“I’m a mechanic at my family’s business. My dad started it when I was four, started teaching me about cars. I started working there when I turned eighteen, have been ever since,” he answers.

“Did you ever want to be something else, be someone else?” you ask. “Not that there’s anything wrong with being a mechanic.”

He thinks for a moment before answering. “I actually wanted to be a firefighter for a really long time. I almost applied to go to the academy.”

“What stopped you?”

“My dad needed help in the shop. My brother was still in school. I figured I already knew how to be a mechanic, and I could help my family out so I stayed.”

Just then, the waitress brings you your food. The two of you are quiet for a moment while you dig in.

“So,” Dean says. “Tell me a little bit about yourself.”

“Well, I’m a bartender, and I’m being promoted to manager. And, I really like my job, so that’s helpful," you say with a small laugh. “I have an older sister, who lives in New Jersey. I’m originally from Missouri. Grew up in a small farm town, so I was pretty eager to get out and see the world.”

Dean asks you about your parents. You ask him about his brother. The conversation doesn’t lag the entire time you’re there. You get completely lost in each other’s company. Even after you’ve finished your food and paid the bill, the two of you still talk and laugh for a long time. When you look up at the clock, you realize it’s getting kinda late.

“It’s getting late Dean. I should probably go home,” you say reluctantly.

Dean glances at the clock. “Yeah, you’re right,” he agrees. The two of you stand up and make your way to his car.

As you drive home, you think about how amazing this night was, how Dean and you had just clicked. It makes you feel butterflies in you stomach.

After about ten minutes, Dean pulls up to your place.

“Let me walk you to your door?” he asks.

You nod.

He gets out and walks around your car to get your door for you. You take the hand he offers to help you out. The two of you walk silently to your door. You turn to face him.

“I had a really great time tonight Dean,” you say. The porch light casts a soft glow on his face. His eyes look impossibly green.

“So did I Y/N.”

Dean is so close to you. He leans in, putting a hand on your waist, asking permission. Your lips close the gap between you and press gently to his. Your arms wrap around him as his hand comes up to cup the side of your face. His lips are slightly chapped, but still soft. You’re sure he can feel your heart beating like crazy. Finally, Dean begrudgingly pulls away.

“I should go home. Goodnight sweetheart,” he utters.

“Goodnight Dean,” you whisper.

After that first date, and that first kiss, Dean and you become enthralled with each other. You go out together more. You learn more about each other. Tell each other the hard things, the deep stuff. Soon, Dean starts introducing you as his girlfriend, and you have no problem with that. Your friends tease you, but they can see how happy you are with Dean. In four months, you’ve fallen for him, hard. Sometimes you go over to his place. Sometimes he comes to yours. You usually watch a movie together, which usually leads to making out. That’s exactly what happens tonight. Dean’s at your place. You’re sitting together, your head resting on his shoulder, his arm slung around you. At a slower part in the movie, you look up at him. He looks down at you and smiles a little bit. He leans down and captures your lips in a gentle kiss that makes your heart skip a beat. After kissing for a while, he nips at your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You pull closer, letting him know it’s okay. You moan slightly as the kiss deepens, his tongue sliding across yours. You break away for a second to catch your breath, and to move so that you can be on top of him. A shaky breath escapes his lips as you settle on his lap. You look into his eyes and his pupils are blown with lust. His hands rest on your hips, his chest pressed against yours. You lean back to grab the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head.

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to- don’t feel like you have to-” Dean tries to say, but you cut him off with a kiss. He kisses you back, one hand going to the small of your back, the other tangling in your hair. You roll your hips and slightly grind down. He gasps into the kiss. You lean back and tug the bottom of his shirt, and he obliges by taking it off. You run your hands over his freckled skin, feeling the muscle beneath. Dean reaches to undo your bra, his fingers fumbling with the clasp.

“Dean. Dean,” you say, breaking the kiss, “let’s go to the bedroom.”

“Y/N, are you sure?” Dean questions, looking up at you.

“You gaze into his emerald eyes. “I’m sure Dean.”

Love ignites like a spark between you. Every movement by Dean sends your mind reeling. Every touch makes you see stars. Every gasp makes you dig your fingers into his shoulders. Every sound pulls you together. It’s like you’re magnets, and some invisible force is pulling you together. This moment feels infinite. You’re floating in a world that was created just for Dean and you. No one else can touch you. No one else can kiss you. No one else can love you. This is a moment completely made for your souls.

“I want you, Dean,” you say.

“I want you too, sweetheart, so bad,” Dean answers. His lips trail down your neck.

“I need you, Dean.” you confess.

“I need you, so much, Y/N,” Dean utters. He kisses from your collar bone to your jaw.

“I love you, Dean.” The words leave your mouth before you have time to stop them, and your breath catches in your throat. Dean’s eyes bore into yours, looking for any uncertainty, but there is none.

“I love you too, Y/N,” Dean whispers, and you know he does. He kisses you deeply.

This was perfect, Dean and you. But nothing perfect ever lasts for very long, does it?

[current-mcr-news]

Casual Interactions 10: Full Transcription

John: Greetings from Asbury Park, New Jersey and welcome to Casual Interactions. I'm John "Hambone" McGuire, and today we've got Frank and the Future Violents here in an airstream trailer outside of the Asbury Lanes, and we're gonna talk to you about the album Barriers and a little behind the scenes action about Frank's upcoming video for Great Party, as well as his summer tour that's going on right now. Now this is a little bit different than your traditional episode of Casual Interactions. Unfortunately, Shaun could not be here with us to hang out, he is here in spirit. And Frank, Shaun, and I will be back in the fall with more episodes of Casual Interactions as promised. This is just a little something to get you through the summer blues and hopefully to get you excited to go see Frank on tour right now. Check it out. This is everyone's first time playing at the Lanes since they've redone the lanes.

Everyone: Yes.

J: Anyone play here before?

Everyone: Yeah.

Frank: I've been here before. Yeah, Thursday did a couple shows here.

Tucker: Four nights of it, yeah.

F: Oh damn!

J: No big deal. Sold out every one. 

T: In a row.

F: Did you say fortnight? 

T: Fortnight, yeah. Two weeks worth. 

J: Put me on the guest list, I appreciate it. 

F: Hey, what are you gonna do? 

T: I'm always gonna do that for my friends. 

J: It's a Jersey thing. I call him up, I say.

T: I got a guy down there.

J: "I know your mom." 

F: Thursday, playing on a Wednesday. 

T: (unintelligible) 

F: Oh man. Alright, so flashback to about 20 years ago. 1999, say.

J: -ish, yeah.

F: Ish. Pencey Prep signs to Eyeball Records, right? It's a band that myself and Hambone were both in. At that point, Tucker's in Thursday still, and you guys are on Eyeball. Waiting is coming out, or just came out?

T: Just coming out, I believe. It was like, that day or something, it feels like. I remember it being simultaneous. 

J: You know, for the longest time I thought that that album was actually called Porcelain. Yeah.

F: Originally?

T: I think it might've almost been called Porcelain. 

J: Yeah. It definitely wasn't called Porcelain. 

F: I remember though, being at an Eyeball party. I feel like the best thing about Eyeball house and Eyeball parties, was that every time you went there, you were gifted the new release. 

J: Yes.

F: Even if you had it already, you were still given the CD. So I got Waiting and I remember then going on vacation and listening to it nonstop.

J: Right.

F: In Long Beach Island, and thinking like, "Oh my god, this fucking record's amazing." And then meeting you at a party later on, and being like, "Alright, I wanna be in a abdn with him."

J: It was a game changer, for sure.

F: Yeah. And then shortly after that, meeting Matt because Murder By Death, or at that time, Little Joe Gould.

Matt: Right, it was still, yeah.

F: Was touring, or you guys met them on tour?

T: We met them on tour at a coffee shop together. 

M: No, it was the stinky Anarchist bookstore. 

T: Same thing.

M: Close enough. Much worse smell.

T: Potato / potato.

J: I've heard it both ways. 

M: It was called The Secret Sailor but it was actually known as The Stinky Pirate. 

F: Weird.

J: Where was that?

M: That was in Bloomington. And at that point, Full Collapse was recorded but not quite out yet.

T: Yes.

M: And our friend who had booked the show said, "Hey, this band needs to jump on," and we were like, "Okay." And I think it was Geoff, was like, "I got a friend in Jersey, he's gonna put your record out." We were like, "Nice to meet you, you guys are great, we'll never talk to you again." 

F: That's actually called the Jersey role. That's what we usually do. We always make some plans, then we'll never see you again. 

T: It usually means, "Get away from me," or "Let's actually do this."

M: Turned out it was "Let's actually do this thing."

F: So then I remember, flash forward a couple months later, being at the Eyeball house and Alex who ran the label, and Mark, got a card from you guys in the mail. Like, a handmade card because they had signed you, or said they were gonna put your record out. I mean, at that point it was just handshake deals, but got a card saying, "Thank you. We're so glad to join the family," and everybody was so excited, and then we heard your record, and everybody was like, "Oh my god, we need to get better right now." Because I remember everybody at the label being like, "Oh, we all thought everybody on the label was good, but this is the best record we've ever put out. This is the best record."

J: Banger.

F: Yeah.

T: Aw. 

F: It's true.

J: And then we actually saw you live and then everyone actually started practicing. 

F: Yeah yeah, totally! Yeah.

J: Because, I don't know if you recall when, the first time they came around to the area, they just got thrown on a show at the Loop Lounge. And this is a little ways after Great White burned the club down, but still early enough that Carl and Bruce would let you light things on fire onstage, so Little Joe Gould at the time had a stage show where they'd be blowing fire. They had a little keyboard player, Vincent; a small, unassuming, meek little dude who would actually spit Gene Simmons fireballs, and then the old drummer Alex would light the cymbals on fire. And this is a small club with not the highest ceiling. 

F: And the ceiling's covered in just shit on the wall, Applebee's type things. There's a motorcycle, and there's dust on top of that, and a fish tank with dead fish in it.

T: And all of it was on Alex's head. 

M: Yeah, but stuff that wants to be on fire.

F: Oh yeah, probably, yeah. He's burned me.

J: Almost took out the disco ball one night.

M: We had some close calls in those days. I remember playing at the Fireside Bowl in Chicago and the guys came up and they're like, "Listen, we don't wanna do this, but we have been told if you do the setting shit on fire thing, we're supposed to kick all of your stuff over and blast you with fire extinguishers and you don't get paid." We're like, "That's probably bullshit, but point taken."

F: Yeah, "gotcha."

M: "Cool, we'll take the night off." 

F: Alright. So let's stop there, and go to the weird other thing that happened was Kayleigh, you at this point are in upstate New York.

Kayleigh: Yes.

F: Right? Alright, in college?

K: Where are we going? 

F: Well, you took a class.

K: Oh yeah! Okay! 

F: And Tucker, yeah.

K: I was like-

F: I'm sorry!

K: "At what part of my life am I in upstate New York? What's happening?"

J: Real long way to go to get a superhero origin story.

F: Watch though, this is crazy. So, you're-

K: I went to college at Fredonia State, which is a very unassuming college in western New York, but it's really great for, at the time, it was one of the only state schools that was offering music business as a major. So, I went there to study music business and get a degree. I was touring in a band at the time, and my parents told me if I got a degree, that after I graduated I could come home and tour. So, went to school for music business, and the thing about Fredonia that's really cool, is that it has a great sound recording program because Dave Fridmann lives in Fredonia. So, all the time, there's also this awesome bar called BJ's who everybody used to play there, but all of Dave Fridmann's bands when they were recording would also usually play at this tiny dive bar. Because they'd be working on new material, or just finished a record, or whatever, so I saw MGMT, I've seen Explosions in the Sky, all these- Sleater Kinney.

F: That was like your Wayne Firehouse, basically.

K: It was the coolest little place, and yeah, one day I went to class, my music business class, and Thursday was the guest speakers at my class.

J: And this class was, "Don't take a handshake deal at a party house."

F: "Never sign a man named Matt from Indiana and bring him to Jersey."

T: I just remember going into this class. It was Geoff and I, and you know, everyone looked like babies to me, because we felt like old people in there, but everyone was like, "Get out of here. We don't care about a single word you have to say, you hacks."

F: "Go cry about it, emo kid." 

T: "Shouldn't you be partying instead of teaching this class?"

K: But I think that's also funny. It didn't dawn on me that that actually happened until we were rehearsing at your house. And I said something about Fredonia, and you were like, "Oh, I've been there," and I was like, "Oh my god, you have. And I was there too."

F: I like how Fredonia also sounds just like a place that Dave Fridmann would make up in his head of like, "If I were the ruler of a kingdom, it'd be Fredonia and I would have a music school there and I would bring Thursday in to talk!"

T: Exactly. Fridmann, Fredonia. 

F: Come on.

T: His name is Dave Fredonia.

J: Writes itself.

F: Just saying. 

M: It also sounds like a medication to get you off of something else. 

F: Oh yeah, that too.

M: Like, "I gotta run this cycle of Fredonia."

T: In the commercials, people are riding bikes through a really green field, you know?

Evan: Side effects are deathly diarrhea. 

T: So much diarrhea in one of those two bathtubs on the hill for no fucking reason. That's the one.

J: Yeah, but you know what? You could climb mountains and kayak.

T: Probably after the diarrhea. You do what you gotta do.

J: One would hope.

F: Alright, last circle of weird coincidences. So, My Chem goes on tour and Murder By Death plays with us at Club Krome, right?

M: Yes.

F: With Vox.

M: That was the Halloween show.

F: Halloween show. And Evan is at that show. That's also the first, I don't know if that was the show or the venue where your first band, On Arms, we had you guys open for My Chem.

E: That's right.

F: Was that the same show?

E: I don't think so. I don't think that was the first one.

F: But it was the same venue.

E: It might've been Starland. 

F: Oh shit.

E: It was right when you guys released Three Cheers, I think.

J: No, it was neither one of those clubs. It was the Birch Hill Nightclub.

F: No, we never got the play that because Otter took a shit downstairs and it blew the fucking pipes up. And then they flooded the whole room and no one could, you couldn't play there for months. It was crazy! It was like the dead of winter. Alright, so in the dead of winter, we show up and it's a long drive, it was like 20 minutes or whatever, so Otter's like, "I gotta go to the bathroom." So he runs down to the downstairs and he takes a poop, and he flushes and it blows the- it explodes the entire pipe system at the venue. So it floods the entire downstairs and they have to close the club down.

Geoff: Hey guys.

F: Hey Geoffy.

J: Hey buddy!

F: We're talking about history.

G: Oh I love history.

J: And poop stories!

F: So yeah, for the longest time, you couldn't play Birch Hill Nightclub anymore, and what was the venue attached to it?

J: That's what I was thinking of.

T: Was it Stingrays?

J: Stingrays, yeah.

T: There was a two room deal.

J: What was the show that we did I Am A Graveyard before My Chem, when Gerard came out and did the big Winston Churchill Iron Maiden intro?

F: Yeah, that was weird. That was a one-off thing I think.

J: Either way, at that time, Otter was subsisting on a diet of nothing but Popeye's fried chicken so you can understand how what was gonna happen, was gonna happen.

F: And Fredonia. High dose of Fredonia. Oh man. So that's over 20 years, that's how this band is kinda starting to form, right? And then, I guess flash forward to 2017, 2018? No, alright, let's flash forward to 2016 because we get into an accident, and then shortly after that, we ended up starting touring again, and we go on tour with Dave Hause and the Mermaid, and that's how we really meet Kayleigh. And our first show is in Williamsburg, a music hall in Williamsburg. I remember watching Dave's set, especially seeing Kayleigh playing and how she sings and all that stuff, playing basically everything on the stage, she would just run around and play everything. I was like, "Holy fuck!" These are the types of people, getting to see Thursday, getting to see Murder By Death, and the way that these people in thsi room thought about music. How it wasn't just like, "Oh, I'm just following a guitar part," you know? You see a performance where it's like, "There's three guitar players onstage. They're all playing the same thing. That's so weird. Okay, I guess nobody wanted to sit down." But you know, the idea that you're creating a soundscape with a bass, you know? Or you're playing a melody on the drums that's like, that's the hook of the song. Even though it's very rhythmic, there's a melody there. Same thing with Kayleigh, her solo records and the stuff that she was doing with Dave, that's the stuff that I saw, it was just like, "Whoa, these people think on a different level," you know? So, I started those other projects and had Evan in with the Cellabration and the Patience, and I always knew if I can, I never wanna be in a band without Evan again, you know what I mean? So that's just always gonna happen. But how do we fill this out, how do we do this, get to the next step, next level, and have people in it that are really pushing the envelope and inspiring you on a daily basis? And it just so happened that at the end of 2017 or beginning of 2018, everybody was going to end up being free to do some songs. Or at least Tucker and Matt and Evan were, and then we found out later on that Kayleigh might be free to come in and write some stuff with us.

J: It's awesome. I know from an outsider perspective, watching you go through the different bands. I'll tell you, Evan's great because no matter what band of guys you got backing you up, I always know it's Evan playing guitar. 

F: Right, yeah.

J: You're like the secret weapon. You know? He's like the secret sauce. Like the In 'N Out sauce except we can get you on the east coast which is nice. You know? But I mean it's a cool thing because having written a record, I've written a bunch of music with you, and then watching you write the songs for My Chem, because you were pretty writing them in my apartment.

F: That's true.

J: I know what it was for you to strike out on your own and do the Cellabration and do the Patience, but always kinda having that really nice constant which is Evan. 

F: Yeah.

J: And then I also remember sitting there over breakfast, me, you, and Shaun. By the way, Shaun couldn't be here tonight, he had something else to do. Anyway...

F: He got him so good, look at him!

J: We were having breakfast and he was telling me, he's like, "Yeah, I'm starting up a new thing," and I'm like, "So who you got?" And he goes, "Well of course Evan. But I think I can get Tucker, I think I can get Matt," and I popped. I was like, "Really?!" And I've compared it to getting the stacks rhythm section, like the MG's backing you up. And I was psyched.

F: And the MT's.

J: Yeah, the MT's.

T: I came in cheap, four million.

J: Print some t-shirts, make some money together.

T: Five grand.

J: And I mean, I heard the songs too. I came over to your house and we hung out.

F: That's right! You sat in on one of the early recording sessions.

J: I sat in on one of the early writing sessions. And he's like, "There's this girl, I wanna bring her on, I think it's gonna be the difference maker," and it was. You came in.

F: I agree.

J: Like the secret weapon.

F: That was the final brick in the wall. It was like, "This is really something awesome and special, but I know what it can be and how incredible it can be," and that was bringing Kayleigh in. 

J: And I'll tell you the Stomachaches and Parachutes both are incredible records.

F: Thank you.

J: But this is the first record that I've heard you do in a while where I feel like you were writing with other people. Other people who were not just sitting there being like, "Alright, you play this, you play this, you play this," like everyone brings their own their own unique, special thing to the party, and it's fucking awesome. 

F: I agree. That's the thing too is like, this is the first record where people are writing in a room, they're familiar with the songs, they're writing the parts that they wanna play, and really knowing what the song needs, you know? So like, they're writing for the betterment of that song, and then going into the studio and they're the ones that are playing it, live in the room, to tape. That, we've never had before. You know?

J: Now how many songs did you have written before you started bringing other people in? Not counting Evan because you guys work together a lot, but you know, how many skeletons did you have before you started bringing people on board?

F: Well I had a list of like 21 skeletons, a lot of which we never even touched. And then that would kinda be filtered out. I'd bring one in, I think the first one we worked on was Moto Pop. And that was, "Alright, we're on a roll here." There's songs like Medicine Square Garden that started as a kind of an idea I had written down on paper but I couldn't, I didn't have the full idea of what the song should look like. I couldn't be like, "Oh it's E, F, G," it wasn't like that. It was more like, "I had this idea of a song where it feels like this, and the guitar line sounds like this and follows the vocal but it doesn't make sense so I can't just write it down."

J: So what was the song when you brought everyone in, where you're like, "Fuck yeah, this is it, we got something."

F: I think Medicine was the first time it was like, "Whoa, we did it."

T: That was like the end boss, that song.

F: Yeah, I agree.

T: It was like, "If we can conquer the initial structure of that one."

F: "Then we can do anything." Yeah.

M: I think the first time I came over, I think Young And Doomed was one of the first ones that we worked on just because it's like, we can get something mostly nailed down with that but when we got into Medicine, I remember that one was giving me fits, because it was like you were describing it and I don't know what my part of that is yet. And for the first couple of days it was like everything I tried to play sounded like Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi or something.

F: Yeah yeah yeah!

M: And this is not what it's supposed to be, but it's the only thing my stupid hands do.

J: You are in New Jersey.

M: Right.

J: It's contagious.

M: Maybe I'm trying too hard to sneak in under the Jersey radar.

T: The gift that keeps on giving.

M: But when it clicked it felt like such a victory, you know? It was like, "Okay, we can do it."

J: How about you, Kayleigh? When was the moment for you?

K: I think that what Matt was describing was pretty much my entire- because I came in late to the project because I was busy for the first half of the year and then-

F: She's been on tour for three years straight.

J: Oh yeah, she's a musician's musician. You're even sneaking off to do a show on one of your days off.

K: I know. Surprise, yeah. Surprise show.

J: That's fantastic.

K: But doing multi-instrumentalist work, I think it's I'm a glutton for punishment in the best and worst ways because I kind of approach this project like I don't know what- not only do I not know what to play, parts wise, I don't know what instrument would be best for this song. And also kind of trying to figure out the groundwork that was the bones of all of these songs was already so put together, and so awesome, that I was almost- it really challenged me where I was like, "I can't fuck this up, what am I gonna- what kind of sprinkles am I gonna put on top that's gonna make it, can I make it better? Am I gonna make it better?"

F: What's funny I think is you tread carefully on that stuff because you don't want to step on toes like that, but you're initial instincts are always so great, and make, at least me, think about songs in different ways, and that's why it was so amazing having you come in. To jump forward again, having a new band play old songs is kinda crazy. And then also bringing in musicians that play different instruments is like, "Wow alright, now you have to really reinvent songs off Parachutes and Stomachaches for the live show." So like, she'll be like, "Oh, I was originally thinking violin on a song like Veins," and I was like, "Wow, that's so fucking crazy!" I never would've thought to do that. But now, I can't not hear that song without that instrumentation, it's crazy.

J: So let me bring it back a second. You know, a lot of musicians play a lot of their songs and their hits for years and years and years, and it's almost taboo to kinda try to reinvent that. I mean, we remember the Bob Dylan incident at the Tropicana where we didn't remember-

F: That was so weird.

J: We didn't know a single song until he got to the choruses, but how does it feel for you to have new life being breathed into these songs.

T: He just grazed right over that, by the way.

F: I love it.

J: I'm good at what I do, Tucker. I'm a goddamn professional!

T: You really are!

F: I love it. That to me, having that ability and opportunity to be creative on the road as well as in the studio, that fucking rules, you know? To know that- here's the thing that I attribute that to, that Lou Reed thing where he would put out a record and then you'd go see him, and that shit was different already because he was already onto the next thing. I think that you have to do that type of shit.

J: Now are you pulling out some songs that maybe you would not have played on this tour because it's more fun now with everybody?

F: Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I've put together a list of songs that I thought would be really fun to do with this band, and that's what we've been doing. But I think now, seeing how those things have changed and how much better we've made then, I would like to kinda go back and look at other stuff. But also at the same time, you run into this project, all you wanna play is new stuff.

J: Of course. What old song do you think is the best, is better now having the new crew?

F: Man. I like Veins with the violin in it, it's fantastic to me. I think Let You Down, now Kayleigh's playing an acoustic on there, I've always wanted that rhythmic section to that. We've been doing this rendition of Miss Me with just acoustic guitar and violin and I think that's really really fun. 

E: Viva with the violin too sounds incredible.

F: Viva, oh my god! Yeah, that might be my favorite.

J: Kayleigh, how many instruments do you play?

K: Pretty much violin, guitar, piano. But then the mandolin is the same as the violin, so that makes- that adds that to it. I play the ukulele but who doesn't?

J: That's right.

K: And then there's that whole assortment of keyboard based instruments that if you know how to play piano, you can pretty much weasel your way around.

J: You would think that ska bands would've figured out getting a multi-instrumentalist years ago, instead of having like nine guys.

F: Eight guys, and one guy dances.

J: Four dudes, Kayleigh, and a dancer who also sells merch.

F: But yeah, I don't know.

T: The Merch Pit.

F: I'm having so much fun, seriously. I will say this too. In addition to the playing, which is beyond anything expectation I had, I've never laughed more than in this band.

J: That's awesome.

F: It hurts your lungs.

T: Oh totally.

F: It's kind of amazing, yeah.

J: How was the first leg of the tour, speaking of people you're gonna laugh with, with James Dewees?

F: Oh my god.

E: He is such a character. 

J: Did he make you watch a lot of Seinfeld?

E: Well, we were going to originally! I actually brought-

K: I'm not sure who wanted to watch Seinfeld, James or Evan.

E: That's true. Apparently, James had all of the episodes on his iPod. 

F: Yes.

E: He would just watch them on his iPod. Which a screen of an iPod, old school iPod classic, is what? Two inches by an inch and a half? 

J: Yeah.

E: And he still watches all of them?

J: All the TV he needs.

F: I feel like James has pigeon sight, where he can see in 360 and everything looks big. I think like an iPod screen, that's fine. 

J: I think all the candy he eats helps him focus.

E: Yeah exactly. But I had brought all of the episodes on DVD with us, but of course, this bus that we just had didn't have a DVD player!

J: That's old technology.

E: I know!

T: This stack of shit would just get moved to this side, to this side, to this side.

J: It was a lot of seasons!

T: Yeah.

J: Oh man. So that first leg was James, this next leg of your tour, you're going over to Europe first with Laura Jane Grace.

F: Yes. Yeah, and The Devouring Mothers. Yes, we get to hang out with Atom and Mark Hudson, it's gonna be fun.

J: And then when you're back in the states hitting the west coast, it's when Geoff.

F: Geoff, yeah. Who's actually playing tonight as well.

J: Fantastic. 

F: So we're going to do the UK. We got a couple of festivals actually happening next week. We're going a UK festival, we're going a couple of shows in Russia, Kiev, and then a Czech festival, and one other that I can't think of.

E: Back in the UK.

F: Another UK. And then we'll be back here to do a festival in upstate New York.

J: Cool.

F: With Taking Back Sunday and the Menzingers. 

K: Oh, that's right.

F: And Glassjaw, right? And then we do the west coast Warped Tour, and then we do our shows with Geoffy, and then we go back to the UK to do it with Laura Jane. And then, well, before that I think, our video for Great Party is gonna come out.

J: Oh cool!

F: Which I'm really excited for because you're in it too.

J: I'm totally in the video! 

F: I know! And it's really good.

J: Yeah. It's a super fun video and we super top secret did it Memorial Day weekend, right? 

F: I know. Which I can't believe we got the venue for it. We did it at a Masonic Lodge in Clifton on Memorial Day weekend, and I feel like, even though that's not tied in with veterans and stuff like that, I feel like those things are usually rented out.

J: I thought those guys would be at barbecues, to be honest with you, but they were like, "Yeah, we'll clean up after you guys. We made coffee."

F: It was rad. 

T: They were like, "We'll watch you clean up."

F: But I mean the directors, David was amazing, and our friends from Surfbort came out, Sean and Dani.

J: They were amazing.

E: Yeah, they were awesome. 

F: Dude, that was the thing too. When I wrote the treatment for the video, the thing that I saw in my hand was Dani's face, really, setting this bomb off.

M: And if you don't know what that face looks like, it'll all make sense when you do.

F: Yeah exactly. That smile, it's all about that devilish grin, it's awesome. It's beautiful.

J: It's gonna haunt your dreams.

F: Yeah, she's so unique and just so amazing.

J: Have you seen the finished product yet?

F: I have, yeah. It's done. I think it comes out on the 18th or something, or the week of the 18th. So yeah.

K: Awesome. 

F: I'm very excited.

J: Very cool. I mean, I'm not sure what this day this is gonna drop, but it's gonna drop something around then. So you're either going to get excited because the video's coming out, or be excited because now you've seen the video and you know what we're talking about, and you've seen the face.

F: My kids are excited too because they're in it, but for a split second, so they were really excited to be in it, and then they saw it and they were like, "What the fuck! I'm not in it for long enough!" I was like, "Well, it's not your video." 

J: "They cut out my stage!" 

T: "You write a song."

F: Yeah.

J: "I thought the kids stayed in the picture! Not this one."

F: "Hey, I told you to clean up your room."

T: They did write a song, Best Friends Forever and it's pretty good.

M: Write another one.

F: Another one!

T: "It's not even on an album, that's on an EP." 

J: I think their college funds have been doing fine on royalties.

F: "Write an album track. See how easy it is."

T: "Bring me a single."

J: Alright, so this was Casual Interactions with Frank Iero and the Future Violents. Definitely check them out if they're coming to your town on tour. You will absolutely not regret it. You're gonna have the time of your life. 

F: Sick. 

J: Party on, dudes.

F: Great job.

E: Love y'all!

K: Thanks!

T: Thanks, Hambone.

J: Bye! 

[sugarcoated-pain]

Heavy Rotation Part One

Here comes my first ever 5SOS fanfic! This series is a collaboration with the remarkable @sublimehood and we are super excited to finally share it with all of you! Let me know what you think! (unless you hate it, then keep that shit to yourself :P) 

Quick synopsis: New Girl meets Empire Records. All the boys are in this one, but with particular focus on Ashton <3 

Warnings: I cuss a lot *shrugs* . Also, this shit is LONGGGGG haha. 

Heavy Rotation- Part One 

Nothing had ever looked as beautiful as the city lights that lay ahead as the Greyhound sped toward Los Angeles. It wasn’t the lights themselves that appealed to me. Growing up less than two hours outside of New York City, it would take much more than that to impress this girl. No, it was the absolute freedom and opportunity for a whole new life that this magical new city held that had me glued to the window with excitement. I pulled one ear bud out to listen to the driver’s announcement with arrival details as I began gathering my belongings I had scattered across both seats in my row, as well as the row across from me. Books, notebooks full of song lyrics, my acoustic guitar, food wrappers, random articles of clothing and all kinds of miscellaneous shit were strewn all over. Sixty five hours was far too damn long to be cooped up in a moving vehicle, despite stopping several times. I had just gathered the last of my things at the very moment the bus came to a stop at the station.

After collecting my checked bag from the bus’s underbelly, I stopped for a moment to take it all in. The sun was just starting to rise and wash over the city with a soft, warm glow. Knowing nowhere I needed to be would be open this early, breakfast at the McDonald’s across the street from the station was sounding pretty damn good. I sat alone in a booth surrounded by the only possessions I owned that mattered anymore, and scrolling through musicians forums online on my cell phone. One particular neighborhood, Silver Lake, kept coming up in discussions and I just knew that was where I needed to start my search. If I were a normal, sane human, I should be utterly terrified of the fact that I just moved across the country with about two percent of a plan for my future, but I am not, in fact, a normal or sane human. It was exhilarating to not have a clue where I was sleeping that night, and to know that if I wanted to get anywhere in this city, I had to bust my ass to do it.

I let a couple of hours pass until it seemed like I might actually be able to accomplish something, hopped in a cab, and instructed the driver to take me to his favorite spot in Silver Lake, which turned out to be this killer little locally owned coffee shop. Don’t mind if I do! Dragging my few belongings along with a latte in hand, I begin my hunt for anything that looks like it involves music and might be hiring. I couldn’t possibly have expected this to be easy, right? Every recording studio, indie radio station and music store for at least a mile was extremely quick to kick this East Coast girl with way too much shit in her hands right back to the curb. That mildly uneasy feeling in my stomach, that probably would have started for anyone else back at the bus station in Jersey, began to creep up on me. I had enough cash in my beat- up handbag to get me maybe a week in a seedy motel, but what happened after that if I didn’t find a job IMMEDIATELY, I am not ready to start thinking about yet.

This situation requires more coffee. I make my back to Mr. Taxi Driver’s favorite coffee shop, order my drink, and skim the bulletins next to the counter while waiting. Somebody, somewhere must be hiring and/or looking for a roommate, right?

“Large cold brew, coconut milk and a shot of espresso.” the barista calls, setting my drink down. But at the exact moment I reach for it, someone else does too. A large hand accidentally covers mine, and I instinctively look up to see who it belongs to. The most gorgeous hazel eyes I have ever had the privilege of seeing lock with mine. His curly dirty blonde hair falling casually in his face, that chiseled jawline, that dimpled smile- holy crap. This is one seriously beautiful human being. Something inside me vaguely in the vicinity of my stomach decides it wants to be a gymnast all of the sudden and begins performing somersaults. I feel my cheeks flush slightly and finally remember to pull my hand away.

“Sorry. I assumed it was mine, but please. Take it.” The handsome stranger insists.

“Thanks,” I reply. “Pretty unusual order. I’ve never met anyone else who drank this.” I state, awkwardly. What the hell. Who even am I right now? I am NOT awkward. Pull yourself together, bitch.

The barista calls the same order once again, and Mr. Beautiful grabs it with smirk. “Cheers.” he says, holding his drink in the air in my direction. I playfully clink my plastic cup against his, and then I notice his eyes flutter to my guitar case on my arm. “Are you a musician?” he asks.

“Aspiring. You?” I answer, avoiding looking in his eyes to regain my confidence and for fear of never being able to stop.

“Also aspiring. I work for a recording studio part time but I’m also in a band, which is completely LA cliche, but they are some of the best musicians in this city. You should check us out sometime. Oh, I’m Ashton, by the way.” He says while flashing that mesmerizing smile once again and holding his hand out to shake mine. I reach for it. Dear god, those hands. The kind of hands that make you wonder what they’re really capable of…

“Emma,” I reply, regaining my composure and flashing a flirty smile. “This recording studio you speak of wouldn’t happen to be hiring by any chance, would it?”

“Hmm, I don’t think so, but ya know, it never hurts to ask.” he replies, as he reaches over the counter to grab the barista’s sharpie and a small napkin. I’m incapable of pulling my eyes off this flawless creature as he jots something down. “Here’s the address. Go in through the record store and ask for Liz. She should be there after 1pm today.” he adds as he hands me the napkin.

“Thanks! I didn’t think I’d run into someone so willing to help around here.” I reply excitedly, taking it from him a little too slowly and deliberately rubbing my fingers against his again.

“I’ve gotta get back to work, but hopefully I’ll see you around.” Ashton says with another goddamned smile as he walks away.

What the hell just happened to me? I feel like I got punched in the gut. I pick my bag up from off the floor, and drag it with my guitar and drink to the nearest table. Checking the time on my cell phone, I realize it is only 11:30am. So, looks like I’m sitting here daydreaming about what just happened for the next hour and a half. But that’s it though, that nagging voice in my head insists. Just daydreaming. No man is getting in the way of my music.

“UGH I know, I know.” I sigh to myself out loud. The elderly couple next to me turns to me with puzzled expressions on their faces, and I simply smile back at them and turn back to my phone.

The walk to the record store wasn’t far, so I gathered up my things and decided to go there shortly after one o'clock. The black sign above the door read “Heavy Rotation” in an edgy, handwritten-looking font. I take a deep breath and enter the record store Ashton had written on the napkin. An attractive guy around my age with electric blue hair is sitting on a stool with his feet propped up on the counter next to the cash register flipping through what appears to be a rock n roll magazine. He doesn’t even blink when I walk in. “Welcome to Heavy Rotation. Let me know if you need any help.” He says, in a somewhat disgruntled tone, still not looking up.

“Hi,” I greet him as I approach the counter, “I’m looking for Liz? And also, I like your hair.”

He glances up and looks me up and down, as if appraising the situation. “Thanks, I like yours too.” My fire engine red ombre look wasn’t properly appreciated in small-town New Jersey, but I knew LA would understand.“Gimme a sec, I’ll go get Liz.” Blue-haired guy walks to the back of the room, and I take the opportunity to glance around. It’s perfect. A little dark, very “offbeat”- retro but with a cutting-edge vibe; low ceiling, eclectic lighting, rows upon rows of records, vintage and new alike. The store itself is much larger than it appears from the outside, as it stretches far back into the building. A deep purple velvet curtain covers a doorway on the right side of the room, separate from where Blue-Hair went into, and I have a sneaking suspicion the recording studio lies beyond. A thrill creeps up my spine. Solely over the concept of being so close to where music is actually produced, and having absolutely nothing at all to do with the fact that the flawless man from the coffee shop is most likely behind that curtain.

Blue-hair comes back with a blonde lady, whom one could deduce is Liz. I approach her with my hand outstretched. “Hi, Liz? I’m Emma. I met Ashton at a coffee shop and he thought I might be able to talk you into a possible job around here?”

She shakes my hand while looking me up and down, eyes lingering for a moment on my guitar. “I bet he did.” she replies with a small chuckle. Not really sure what the hell that’s supposed to mean… “It’s nice to meet you, Emma. I’m sorry, hon, but we aren’t hiring at the moment.”

“Please. I’m sorry to sound pushy and desperate but I’ll do anything you need. There has to be SOMETHING I could do here.” I press, attempting to keep the panic out of my voice.

“Well, what makes you think you would be a good fit here?” Liz asks, eyeing me interestedly.

I take a deep breath. “I have wanted to be a musician for as long as I can remember. I’ve been singing since before I could talk and music has always been my number one passion in life. I know more about music than most people twice my age. I just graduated from music school and realized the east coast scene wasn’t right for me and that I needed to get away from everything there, and hopped a Greyhound bus four days ago to come here and be close to the music. I just want to work a job with music while I work toward my dream. And, not to judge or anything, but looking at this place you’ve got here, I’d say you seem like the type of person who can appreciate that.”

Liz studies me once more, and then slowly answers. “Well, I think we could use a little help with cleaning and organizing between the store and the studio. I won’t be able to give you a ton of hours, and the pay won’t be much. Still something you’re interested in?”

“YES! I mean.. Yeah I think I could make that work.” I reply eagerly.

“Alright then. Come back to the office with me and we can sort out all the details and legal crap.”

Thirty minutes later, I follow Liz out of the office for her to give me the grand tour. Realizing I’m still lugging around everything I own, I ask, “..you wouldn’t happen to know anyone in the area who is looking for a roommate, would you?”

Blue-hair perks up from the behind the cash register, “did you say roommate? Are you looking for a place to stay?”

“Mikey… I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.” Liz chimes in immediately.

Glancing back and forth between the two of them, I turn back to Mikey, “uh, yeah I am. Do you know a place?”

“I live upstairs with my friends and we currently happen to be looking for a roommate!” he replies enthusiastically.

“Well that sounds almost too perfect… can I see the space?” I ask, ignoring the look of disapproval on Liz’s face.

“Liz, mind if I abandon my post for a minute to run her upstairs?” Mikey asks.

She sighs, and then nods.

I stash my stuff in a corner of the store and follow him up the stairs. The building is pretty old, but in the cool, artsy, vintage way and not the nasty, dilapidated old. When we reach the second floor landing, Mike pulls out a set of keys and unlocks the front door. One could definitely tell that only guys lived there, but that they appeared to have attempted to straighten up a bit. Growing up with 3 brothers, none of this phases me. The architecture was naturally gorgeous but there was really no other decor. Mismatched couches and chairs surrounded an extremely nice and unnecessarily large TV which was surrounded by various video game consoles.

“So, this is the living room. The kitchen is over there. Uh.. there’s only one bathroom, so that kinda sucks, but it’s right here.” Mikey says as he gestures me through the space. “And this here, is your room.”

It was a small room with just a twin sized bed and a small dresser already furnished. Nothing fancy, just the basics, which is exactly what I need at this moment. “How much is the rent?” I ask him.

“Uhh.. so we hadn’t really talked about it yet but considering that Luke’s parents own the building, we pretty much just each pay what we can…” he answers.

“Luke?”

“OH, yeah he’s one of my roommates and Liz’s son, I think he’s home actually, I can introduce you. HEY LUKE!” he shouts across the apartment. Moments later, a tall, good-looking blonde boy steps into the living area. “Luke, this is Emma.. your mom just hired her downstairs, and she needs a place to stay so I’m showing her the extra room.”

“Oh, hey. Nice to meet you, Emma. What do you think so far?” Luke answers, walking over to us.

“Hey,” I answer. “I think it’s perfect actually.” I bite my lip to try and hold back the smile that threatened to expose me. Was every single person who has anything to do with this building good looking?

“Can I ask what brings you to LA?” Luke asks.

“The typical, aspiring musician. But it’s everything I’ve ever wanted. I met Ashton at the coffee shop, he thought you guys might be able to help me out.” I’ve probably said too much.

“I hope so. When can you move in?” Luke asks, and Mikey gets overly excited beside me.

“I um...right now?” I laugh a little awkwardly.

“Perfect.” Luke flashes a smile that would make any girl weak in the knees. But it’s nothing compared to the dimpled one I had the pleasure of witnessing on Ashton’s face.

Things might be going my way a little too conveniently. OR maybe this is the universe’s way of telling me this is exactly where I belong. The guys offer to give me a tour of the recording studio, which I jump at since it’s basically all that’s on my mind right now. When we get back downstairs, they introduce me to a pretty dark-haired girl by the name of Georgia who works in the record store.

“Oh thank god! We need more girls around here!” she sighs with relief as she shakes my hand. She and Mikey both get back to work as Luke leads me through the curtain I had seen earlier toward the recording studio. This is it. This is what I came here for. Excitement starts building, and I’m going to pretend it’s exclusively over the possibility of finally being able to make music, NOT because I know the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen might also be somewhere behind that curtain.

The recording studio is everything I ever imagined and more. Dark walls, sleek black furniture and decor, framed awards and photos of celebrities lining the walls.  When we enter, Luke introduces me to Calum, their tall, dark and handsome ‘other roommate’ who also happens to be Georgia’s boyfriend. I mentally answer my previous question- yes, every single person associated with this building is drop-dead gorgeous.

“Other roommate?? How many people live up there?!” I ask, half amused, half concerned.

“Don’t worry,” Luke assures me, “you get your own room. We worked out a system for the rest of us….”

“.. I don’t wanna know…” I say darkly.

Both guys laugh. “Don’t worry, it’s just us, Mikey and Ashton.” Calum replies.

I choke on air at his last word. “Ashton? The guy I met at the coffee shop? HE is also our roommate??”

As if on cue, Ashton comes into the main area through a door to the left. “Hey! Emma, isn’t it? Looks like you found the place!”

“My mom hired her to help out around here, and she’s also gonna take the spare bedroom upstairs.” Luke adds.

A look passes over Ashton’s face, just briefly. What is that look? Surprise? Disappointment? Concern? It’s gone before I can even register what the hell that might be about, and his winning smile is back. “Wow! Awesome! Well, welcome.”

Just as I’m about to reply, a thin, fake-tanned girl with long blonde hair struts into the studio like she owns the place. “Hey babe, are you off work yet? You said you’d be done an hour ago.” She whines, making her way over to Ashton and wrapping her arms around his waist.

I try hard not to show any signs that my stomach plummeted through the floor at the sight of them together. Let her have him. You didn’t sit on a disgusting bus for sixty five hours to meet guys. You’re here for music. He would only distract you.

“Camille, this is Emma. She’s gonna be working with us and also renting out the spare bedroom upstairs. Emma, this is my girlfriend, Camille.” Ashton introduces us. Is it just in my head or was there something about the way he said the word ‘girlfriend’?

Camille eyes me up and down, clearly debating whether or not I might be a threat. I make the first move. “It’s great to meet you! Nice to know I won’t be constantly surrounded by only guys..” I extend my hand to shake hers. She hesitates before taking it, and doesn’t say anything. So that’s how it’s gonna be.

Ashton and Camille leave the studio together. Everybody else goes about their business, so I head back to where I had stashed my belongings in the record store and take them upstairs, to my new home. I look around as I enter it again, taking everything in. When I get to the bedroom, I toss my stuff on the floor and collapse on the bed. I made it. I did it. I am actually living in Los Angeles. Now, to survive.

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

[samwellwaffles]

Thank You, Pittsburgh

by Marc-Andre Fleury

It started in Nashville, 14 years ago.

Kind of ironic right now.

The 2003 Draft was at the Bridgestone Arena. As a young 18-year-old from Quebec, all I was hoping for was to hear my name. Pittsburgh had the third pick overall, but at the last minute, they made a trade with Florida to pick first. I had heard rumors that I might get picked by one of the first few teams, but didn’t believe it until I heard Craig Patrick call my name.

Pittsburgh. I would have been happy anywhere, but I got drafted by Pittsburgh. What a blessing. I would, maybe, get to play with Mario Lemieux. I would, hopefully, get to play for the team that had won back-to-back Stanley Cups in ’91-92. I would have a shot at playing in the NHL.

The next 14 years were beyond my wildest dreams.

Saying that the last few weeks have been bittersweet would be an understatement. As we reached the Stanley Cup finals, I knew very well that my time as a Penguin was nearing its end. I love to play. I love the game, and everything about it. Putting the mask on, diving around, stopping the puck, feeling the intensity of the game, feeling useful. I wish I could have been in net for my last game as a Penguin. But we raised the Cup, again, and it made all the sacrifices worthy. I felt proud — proud of my teammates for battling through injuries, for showing a lot of character, and for winning two years in a row. I am grateful that I had the chance to contribute to our success through the first rounds. And I feel very fortunate that the last time I have skated with a Penguins jersey, it will have been with the Stanley Cup in my hands. Not that it wasn’t an emotional moment.

Fourteen years. Nearly half of my life. I remember my first training camp, in September 2003, like it was yesterday. I was so nervous. There are so many expectations on a first-round pick, and I didn’t want to let anybody down. I just tried to do my best, and wanted to leave a good impression. But when you face Mario Lemieux in training camp, it can be quite intimidating, to say the least.

Everyone knows him as Le Magnifique, a hockey legend. I always loved watching him growing up. I remember the first time I stopped Mario in practice. It was a simple warmup shot. But you better believe that I kept that puck — and still have it at home. Mario is a great role model for me — his loyalty to the team, his contributions to the community, how he handles himself and how he and Nathalie raised four great, humble kids. I’ll always be thankful for their support throughout the years.

My first home game was against the Kings at the Igloo on Oct. 10, 2003. My dream was becoming a reality. Maybe the excitement was a little high. So high, that, well … I forgot something. As everybody was getting ready to head out of the locker room, I made my way towards the ice, fist bumped a few guys (including Marc Bergevin and Mario) and then I realized that I had forgotten my stick. It was a pretty funny walk of shame past all my teammates to go grab my stick.  As I was walking back, Mario cracked a little smile and said “You’re going to need that tonight, kid.”

I guess he was right. First shot of the game, first shot I faced in the NHL, and it goes in. That wasn’t part of my dream. But then, thankfully, it got better. I stopped Ziggy Palffy — a guy I watched growing up — on a breakaway. Then I stopped a penalty shot and finished the game with 46 saves on 48 shots. We lost that game, but that one will remain one of my best memories in Pittsburgh.

It was a pretty funny walk of shame past all my teammates to go grab my stick.

Even that first night, the fans were chanting Fleu-ry, Fleu-ry. They were holding up signs that said Welcome Home. I honestly couldn’t believe it. The rush from that, to tell you the truth, I can’t even describe it. It is just unbelievable. And it never gets old, trust me. The fans in Pittsburgh have been tremendous with me since the very beginning.

For a hockey player to get to play nearly 14 years in one city is a blessing. It wasn’t all fun and games, though. It was obviously difficult losing so much in the first few seasons. But then we got Geno. And then Sid. And then Staal (to name just a few). We started winning, and the Igloo was booming. It was a success built from figuring things out together, as a group. The loss to Detroit in the 2008 finals was one of the toughest experiences of my career. Being so close to reaching that Cup and then having to watch the Wings celebrate their win … it was brutal, but we needed it. I believe that, in the end, that loss helped prepare us for what was to come.

Game 7 of the 2009 finals in Detroit is without a doubt one of my favorite moments as a Penguin. Seeing my good friend Max Talbot score two huge goals for us was incredible. And then, of course, making that save against Lidstrom in the last seconds was something I will never forget. I proudly sported a deep bruise on my ribs from that save for weeks following that game. I’ll always remember my teammates jumping on the ice, racing toward me with the biggest smiles. The feeling of winning the Stanley Cup that night is indescribable.

Over the years, I probably don’t have to tell you, it’s been ups and downs. But one thing I will carry with me, long after I leave Pittsburgh — honestly, long after my playing career is over — is how amazing and strong the support was that I received from the fans.  

One of my best memories is from earlier this season, actually. We had just been on a road trip and it was our first game back home against Tampa Bay. I had been struggling a bit. I couldn’t buy a save, and I wasn’t feeling great about it. Everybody was getting ready for the anthem, and the crowd started chanting my name. It made no sense. I wasn’t playing well. The game hadn’t even started yet. But they were behind me anyway.

Fleu-ry, Fleu-ry.

Maybe they could sense that I was feeling a little down, and I needed it. We ended up winning the game, things turned around for me, and I ended up having a great season. That moment was the turning point, and it was because of our fans.

So thank you, fans. I wish I could put into words how much of an impact your support has made on me and my family. We have become Pittsburghers. My wife graduated from Robert Morris University, my daughters were born at Magee-Womens Hospital (sorry our commercial has been blasting on your TVs for more than a year), and our first house was in Moon. Pittsburgh and its people will forever be in our hearts.

Thank you to the Penguins ownership: to Mario and Ron, for their support and for striving to be the best organization by providing the team with the best people and the best facilities.  

Thank you to the organization: from the great GMs to the coaches who believed in me. Thank you to Gilles Meloche and Mike Bales, my goalie coaches, whom I’ve spent most of my career with, for always being there for me. Thank you to the medical, front office and equipment staff for all the good times and friendships.  

Thank you to my teammates. My friends. I am not good with the emotional stuff, and this is not easy. Over the years I have seen a lot of good people come and go. It is definitely one of the toughest parts of the business — making good friends and having to say goodbye. I have played with a lot of good dudes in Pittsburgh, and made so many good friends.  

Thanks, Sid, for all the years. We spent a lot of time together, always sat next to each other on the plane, behind one another on the bus, plus all the dinners before every game on the road. Thanks for helping me get through tough times and for being a good friend. It’s tough to say goodbye. I know we were both trying to avoid it. You’re the best. Next time we face each other, make sure you keep your head up. The poke check will be coming, like that one time in Rimouski.

Duper, Tanger, Geno, Kuni — it’s been an honor to go through all of this together. I couldn’t have picked better teammates and friends.  

And I guess I will stop there. Not because I have run out of people to thank or things to say — when it comes to my time as a Penguin, I think I could just go on forever.  

But thank you, everyone, for the support in the last week. All the calls, messages, pictures, the nice articles and videos. It has meant so much to me and my family as we are getting ready to begin a new chapter in our lives. It seems like just yesterday that I was a kid in this blue suit that my agent bought me for the draft, wearing this tie that I didn’t even know how to tie. (I later got fined a few times for coming to the games with it inappropriately tied.)  

And now here I am. I have a wife, two kids, and three Cups. I’m talking about my memories and saying my goodbyes. It might be an adjustment for my girls. They love waving the Terrible Towel and chanting, “Let’s Go Pens.”

Actually, when they see the Pens logo they say, “Go Papa Go!”

But I think we will tell them that moving somewhere new at a young age — yes it might be scary, but we just have to hang in there. We’re going to figure things out, and we’re going to find our way. And then we’ll blink, and suddenly that strange and new place … It won’t seem strange, or new, at all. It might even feel like home.

I still have a lot to wrap my mind around. I am honored that the Golden Knights picked me and I am looking forward to continuing to play the game I love. I don’t know how it will feel when I set foot in the PPG Paints Arena in February as the Vegas goaltender. Truthfully, right now I can’t even think about it. But what I do know is that I will be thrilled to see you all again.

Thanks, Pittsburgh. I will miss you.

(x)

[crimsonbreeze]

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