#existenting/spiritual stuff ( since mortal bad shit isn’t enough. there’s probably shit ASIDE FROM mortal/spiritual )evil/bad in general/etc
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Regardless of what others say: I’m the biggest fucking burden on my family + everyone close to me ( or that were close to me )
#vent#tw vent#7/4/22#my mom has recently begun asking me how I’ve been the past few days#I don’t like answering because I feel the exact same way that I’ve been feeling for years ( of course sometimes the days are worse or better#but for the most part they’ve been the same )#I’m not trying to sound/be ungrateful but I don’t want her to ask that to me#ESPECIALLY not everyday. I’m tired of answering back the same ‘ I’m okay ‘ or that ‘ I’m good ‘ everytime she#or for ANYBODY to ask that really#I’m tired of having to constantly lie about how I’m feeling JUST SO I won’t make others upset#I mean what? do you REALLY want to hear about my constant shit feelings/existential crisis’s/fucked up thoughts/etc???#I can PROMISE you that you really truly don’t. especially since I have them EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. DAY#and tbh I wouldn’t want to either. and I DONT.#I mean I want other people ( if THEY want to ) to talk about their thoughts/feelings/etc. but please: don’t come to me about it#and I mean that in the kindest way that I can because I’m just so fucking tired of all this stupid shit#existenting/spiritual stuff ( since mortal bad shit isn’t enough. there’s probably shit ASIDE FROM mortal/spiritual )evil/bad in general/etc#*existing#and I’m already dealing with the giant fucking mess/fuck up I am. not to mention I’ve had to play therapist for YEARS ( mainly if not ONLY#for my bio dad )#but still. I want people to get help but I’m not ready/prepared to give it myself#tw existential angst#tw existential dread#tw existential bullshit
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