#eyes so big and vulnerable

[spocks-kaathyra]

do u think that um. yk Julian was having a rough time in the later seasons. and ofc he wants to talk abt it, wants someone to help him process it, wants someone to just listen. but it's not easy to talk abt. and he wants to talk to Garak, wants Garak to know what's going on in his life, wants to be vulnerable and be met with support and care. but Garak is so emotionally unavailable and so unwilling to break his pleasant facade and so unwilling to deviate from their little social script. he was taught never to show care or vulnerability. and Julian gets so tired of playing their little game when, god, there's a war going on, his life is falling apart, can't Garak even acknowledge how bad things are for both of them? he doesn't need witty retorts, he needs sincerity. and Garak can't give him that. so he withdraws from their friendship. and it's not that Garak doesn't care. it's not that he doesn't want to help. but sincerity and vulnerability were beaten out of him a long time ago, and he doesn't know how to take off his mask. even just acknowledging genuine emotion is practically impossible for him. and maybe that's why ASIT is the apology that it is. it's saying, here, I've learned to be honest, I've learned to be vulnerable. I know the harm I caused you by refusing to acknowledge pain, so here's a whole book of me acknowledging pain.

[chr0n1c-ag0ny]

Kunidazai reunion sparking them finally, actually, truly getting together (cause they're idiots who have essentially been and old married couple for years and were the last to notice)? I think yes.

kunikida offering his apartment to Dazai, as his partners was in no shape to be lived in, after all the time that had passed with no upkeep and the time it spent in police custody, being milled through for any potential evidence. there was no way he could let him go back to it, not now, not tonight. Kunikida needs him close tonight.

Dazai takes him up on his offer. he doesn't want to be alone. he won't admit it, but he can't be alone, he doesn't know what it would do to him, what he would do to himself if he was left unattended. so he gratefully, while making jabs and cracking jokes at his partner, follows him home.

their night proceeds as normal, as it had for years of Dazai crashing with him. Kunikida cooks while Dazai sits up on his counter, rambling on and on about anything he can think of. Kunikida never realized how much he missed Dazai's voice until the relief of not cooking in silence hit him.

when they eat Dazai drags his partner to sit on the couch, even though Kunikida hates eating on the couch, knowing he would make an exception for him, just for tonight. they sit too close to just be friends, coworkers, partners even. their arms touch, their knees lean into one another.

when Dazai's finished with his dinner he lays a head in Kunikida's lap, turning on the TV, flipping through all of his partners recorded media until he finds the show they had been watch together, every episode that aired since he was arrested is recorded and unwatched. with blurry eyes he hits play. Kunikida's hand is in his hair and it doesn't leave.

they don't talk, they don't have to, they've talked enough. for now they just want to sit and feel each other's touch and hear each other's breathing. it's all they need.

its nearly 3 in the morning when Dazai finally starts to doze, he'd curled up into a ball, halfway in Kunikida's lap at that point, holding onto one of his partner's hands. Kunikida knows he should get them both to bed, he should offer Dazai the room and take the couch, that he should have the man some space after all he'd been through. but he aches at the thought of leaving his side, at being separated again.

but he doesn't even have to say anything, should have known he never had to, Dazai's always been sharp as a tack, his intuition, almost terrifyingly, even sharper.

His partner turned lazily in his arms, looking up at him with tired but knowing eyes. let's go to bed, they say. you don't have to go, you can stay, they assure. please don't go, they beg.

Kunikida breathes a long, heavy, sigh of relief.

"ok," he answers, before finally getting up after hours laid up on the couch, watching as Dazai continues to doze.

his heart aches with feverish heat. he'd missed him so much he had begun to go mad, had gone mad really, and now his partner was back, he was back and alive and mostly well, and now he was so relieved it ached in its own right.

he went about making up his bed for two, for Dazai, knowing he needed enough pillows and blankets for half a dozen people, but kept stopping to look over the back of the couch to make sure he was still there, still with him, that he hadn't been taken away again. by the time he's done he's probably crossed his apartment two to three dozen times, from his room to the couch again and again, before he's finally decided the room was good enough, there were enough blankets for Dazai to cover himself with and pillows to hide in.

when he goes to Dazai this time around, he kneels in front of him, carding a hand through his hair, tracing a thumb over his brow, to his nose, and then his cheek. his partner's eyes flutter open, a smile graces his lips.

"come on," he whispers, worried too loud a voice would shatter the delicate air of safety and comfort around them, "time for bed."

Dazai hums, getting up with a stretch and a yawn, much like a cat, before gingerly hopping off the couch and into Kunikida's arms, a false smile and air of cheekiness to him, hiding the ache Kunikida knew all too well resided in his partner's heart as much as it did his own, if not more. he holds him for a moment, savoring the feeling of him in his arms, before taking his hand and leading him to their room.

Dazai knows the drill. he goes to the other man's dresser and picks out a pair of his own sweatpants, ones he kept here for nights like these, and as per usual, one of Kunikida's shirts, gliding across the room, out into the hall, and into the bathroom.

Kunikida crawls into bed, feeling like he's been hit by a bus by the days events, and ends up half asleep by the time he feels Dazai crawling into bed next to him.

he expects to see bandages peeking from the borrowed nightshirt, to watch Dazai shield himself from the world, from his partner's touch, with a swarm of blankets, for Dazai to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for him to fall asleep first.

but tonight's different, so different.

Dazai's skin is bare where the shirt doesn't cover, his scars on display, each and every one of them, the burns, the cuts, the bullet wounds, the ones Kunikida has never one been able to decipher the story of. they're all bared to him, with no visible hesitation on Dazai's end.

when his partner climbs into bed he neglects the pile of blankets laid out for him, the pillows too. instead he lifts the comforter that's draped over the entirety of the bed, Kunikida included, sliding beneath it like it's natural to him, like he'd done it every night for months, years even.

he looks at Kunikida for a moment, silently asking for permission, which Kunikida cannot give fast enough, and then Dazai's in his arms, his own wrapped around his neck, nothing between them but the clothes on their backs.

Dazai pulls away, just a bit, Kunikida almost cries out, almost pulls him back in, but knows better. he lets dazai go, but he never leaves. he's moved just far back enough so they could both look each other in the face.

"I missed you," he spoke softly, his hands shifting to hold the blonde's face.

"I missed you too,"

there's a moment of silence.

"I love you." the words are hesitant, skittish even, like he's unsure of how Kunikida would take it.

"I love you too," he replies without a second thought. he loves his partner, he loves him, more than he knows what to do with, so much it drives him mad and makes him ache.

Dazai nods. he's thinking, Kunikida can see it on his face, his mind is going a million miles a second. worry flashes on Dazai's face, and Kunikida panics, goes to pull away, goes to give Dazai space, even if his own skin burns at the thought of parting with Dazai's.

but Dazai doesn't let him, he clings to him, "Don't go, please don't go, please," he begs.

his voice is desperate, so Kunikida doesn't. he watches his partners face twist and turn, watches as fear spreads across his brow and tears gather in his eyes, and he doesn't know what to do because this has never happened.

but than Dazai leans in, slowly, tugging Kunikida closer so they can meet in the middle. Kunikida feels his partners lips on his. he kisses him back. he can't decide if that was a foolish decision or not. It's soft, softer than either of them knew they were capable of, it's gentle and earnest and good.

Dazai stops after a moment, lingers in Kunikida's space before looking him in the eye once more, he doesn't speak, they don't need to. Dazai looks at him, tears running down his face, but he's smiling, he's ok. his thumbs wipe away tears Kunikida hadn't realized he'd shed. they're ok.

"I love you," Dazai mutter's again, speaking again before the other man can answer "Kunikida?"

"yes, Dazai?"

"don't go."

"I won't."

"promise?"

"I promise." its a foolish thing to say, but Dazai needs to hear it, hell, he needs to hear it, "I'm not going anywhere, so long as you promise me the same."

he hesitates, his eyes avoid Kunikida's for a moment, before returning from their shared gaze, "I'll try, I promise, I'll really try this time"

Kunikida nods, slowly moving to kiss Dazai's forehead, the brunette leans into it.

"I know you will," he whispers into Dazai's skin, "and I'll always be here when it's too hard to manage on your own."

there's silence again, but it doesn't feel wrong or heavy, its soft and warm and it feels right.

"I love you," Kunikida finally returns.

there's more silence, Dazai just looks at him, just watches, fingers playing with Kunikida's hair and drifting over his face until something clicks into place in the other man's mind, something nobody but Dazai could ever understand.

he leans in once more to kiss his cheek before he settles against Kunikida's chest, letting out a pleased huff as he curls himself into a ball, "goodnight," he muttered, almost instantly going still with sleep.

"goodnight," Kunikida replied, knowing Dazai wasn't going to hear him, pressing his own goodnight kiss to the top of Dazai's head before burying his face in the other man's hair (Dazai doesn't smell like his shampoo anymore. it makes something in him cringe. he tries and fails to ignore it).

it takes Kunikida a while to fall asleep, he's too busy running the night over and over and over again in his mind. he holds Dazai close and lets his fingers trace over scars, feeling over his too-thin frame, feeling each bone beneath his skin. there's so many thoughts rushing through his mind, to many fears, worries, anxieties, what ifs. what if I hurt him? what if I break him? what if I ruin this?

his thoughts are only stopped when Dazai gently nudges his head into his jaw, hands pulling Kunikida's off of him, holding them gently in his own (he should have known sleep wouldn't come that easy to Dazai).

he takes a deep breath, steadying himself and his mind, his partner's hands squeeze his gently, good, they seem to say, and sleep finally starts to pull at him once more.

he lets it happen, let's his eyes close and his mind go blank, knowing Dazai is safe, he's safe in his arms, he won't be taken away again. he sleeps knowing Dazai loves him, that he kissed him, that tomorrow they'll wake up like this, and maybe, just fucking maybe they can finally have this one happy ending.

[lazycranberrydoodles]

the people in the tags understand me. starembers art is super pretty but also weird at times.

[prince-peachie]

probably an unpopular opinion but people really should refrain from correcting artist’s artworks

[otaku553]

Oc aged up? Redesign? Doodle

[dallonwrites]

bestie how the fuck do you start writing again when you haven't written in years bc you're so paralyzed with Fear of Writing Badly mixed with How Do I Get Started and also WHAT do I write about HELP

I WANT to write but every part of it is. so. DAUNTING

Ohhh bestie I have BEEN there. Whenever I take breaks from writing I find myself scared that I'll have just….forgotten to write?? I think the fear of "bad writing" is amplified when you don't write for a while, however long, because you have to like hype yourself up to go back to writing and it's like what if I do all that and then I just can't do it? Returning to writing, especially after a long time, for me has taken a lot of mental work, trying to understand what will make writing fun and healthy for me. A lot of it, honestly, is easier said than done, but also it's mental work you'll keep doing after you start writing again and as you write, and for me it's easier to process my relationship with writing when I am actually writing.

A big part of that mental work for me, and something I think is so valuable, is to reconsider what "bad" writing is and give yourself permission to write it. Sometimes you will think your writing sucks, happens to all of us, but that isn't all it has to be. Like yeah, I'll think something I wrote sucks, but I still wrote it. I can revisit it and work on it and maybe I'll turn it into something I'm happy with. And even if I don't, I still wrote it, I learned from it. Writing does not need to be "good" by whatever standard we're holding it up to for it to have value. And you can delete it! Nobody has to see it! Also you can have fun writing something and still think it's not your best. I've written a lot of "bad" scenes that I had fun with because the scene was entertaining to me! I love when writing turns out how I like it, or I write a banger prose line, but equally I found it helpful to give myself permission to not worry about that all the time and just focus on my interest/enjoyment in what I'm writing, regardless of the "quality". Again, easier said than done, but something I've found easier the more I write, because you'll have bad writing days but you'll also have writing days that are so good

I know a lot of people see writing as a skill that they want to improve, and like I agree it feels really good to see your writing grow, but writing is so much more than the skill and the craft and the theory. There is no objective "perfection" to reach with writing like we are not Sims with levelled skills LOL. Writing is art and creativity and it should be fun and fulfilling. And IMO, the more you focus on what makes writing fun, you will grow and "improve" as a writer a lot quicker and in a way that is a lot more enjoyable than if you treat writing like some icy quest for perfection. You also get to decide what "good" writing is for you/your story. Some of my stories are more prose focused and I'll play more with language, imagery etc. Others are more about the plot and just having fun imagining this scene. Sometimes it's a mix of both. What is "good" writing depends on the writer, story, genre, etc. There is no one way to write.

I'm rambling a lot because I'm just really passionate about this and I cannot express enough how easier writing got, including all the difficult and ugly and frustrating parts, when I gave space to prioritise my enjoyment and fun. People love to romanticise the idea of the "struggling" writer. I see stuff on here and I'm like you guys….writing should be fun. Like yeah sometimes it's hard and we should talk about that but like, you Need to make sure you are having fun. Anyway I'm going to try not to ramble and bullet point some things that helped me:

Make Writing Fun: Lol! Literally whatever makes writing fun. Sometimes I just write super indulgent scenes and the fun of that sets me up to work on my projects. When I work on my projects I try to find what in each scene I'm going to enjoy the most, and focus on that to help me write the rest. I make playlists, moodboards, memes, art etc for my story because it's fun, and it helps me be engaged with my story outside of writing it. Just, have fun.

On productivity: some people will benefit from setting clear goals and running towards them. Some people don't. For me it depends on my headspace. I don't think productivity is a bad thing, it can feel good, but productivity should not be the only reason you write. And the most productive writing process is whichever one makes writing enjoyable for you, because that's how you'll get words on the page

On that note, please be wary of anyone online who who treats the writing advice they share as Fact. I'm not saying every writing teacher out there does...but some of them market it that way! And creators do not have an authority on writing just because they have a platform however big. There are some AMAZING content creators out there who talk about writing, and I have found them motivating, but like just let yourself be picky about who you listen to/engage with. I say this because I consumed some very Strict writing advice when I was younger and it literally contributed to my years long slump so like...I'm picky now LOL

About goals: Personally, gentle goals are what help me get back into writing. Maybe just write for 20 minutes, or write every day for a couple days. When I do word count goals, I base them on how I feel that day, and recently I don't make a word count, I'll transfer it to the next session but smaller. So if I try to write 500 words but can't I'll say okay, lets try 250 next time. Goals can be a great motivator and way to feel achieved, and maybe bigger goals will help you, but you're also allowed to adjust them as you go to make it easier

On finding new ideas, having been there before, you don't need a fully fleshed out idea to start writing. My longest break I came back to writing with...one character and a backstory? If you have stories/characters already you can revisit them, either build on what you have or completely change it. Or if you don't have that, if there's a piece of media you like you can take that concept and play around with it in your own way, or you can even just write fanfic until you have your own idea (if you want your own idea, fanfic is cool too!) You can even just find a cool pic on pinterest and play around with describing it, writing about it, seeing if you can get anything from that. Ideas are everywhere and they can be tiny, and I think if you have that want to write you Will find your story eventually. All writers have had the Idea struggle, but I think the more you engage with writing and think about what concepts and stories interest you already, the more you'll like train yourself to get ideas

That was very long and maybe a lot but like, I am very passionate about this! I've been in writing "slumps" where I didn't know if I would write again, I've started writing again with no ideas, and in those times all I had was the fact I knew I wanted to write. There are a lot of reasons why we end up having long breaks from writing and it is totally normal, sometimes beneficial for us, and we should never give ourselves a hard time for not writing for however long. But also remember that you can always come back. Every one of us has the capacity to create, whatever that looks like, and you can make it as self indulgent and self serving as you want.

[boxwinebaddie]

what is the CD pet? i remember it being mentioned, but is it a dog?

how very funny you ask, lovie! because...someone a while ago asked me about a cd pet and i said, something like of 'maybe, who knows?'

me. ;)

i know.

skdhslkds

and shortly, you all will too, my darlings! for the sake of surprise and spoilers, i was just keeping the identity of the cd pet in the shadows.

which, speaking of shadows, it is the very first time that the citizens of a now very flooded and fucked up blondie's apartment ( minus marj ) arrive in the foyer of the crimson dawn manwhoresion, which again is this MASSIVE very gloomy and ominous sick-torian mansion with lots of cool glass skull door handles, old creaky floors and creepy portraits on the wall -- art of the dearly, or not so dearly, departed...dep(art) if you will -- except the interior has new electrical running through it so that the boys can still make pizza bagels in the air fryer and play legendary smash tournaments on their uber lux, big bucks, emphasis on big 98" flat screen tv...8k, ofc. ;)

anyways, they make it inside with what little luggage/personal shit they could salvage out of the wreckage of their Literal falling apartment, regrettably like half of kyle's really cool clothes are missing...i wonder if someone has things he can borrow...but ANWAYS AGAIN! when they walk in, jersey kyle sets down curb's carrier and suzie on sort of side table and is like 'holy fuck, i do naught like the feel of this place at all. this shit feels like something out of a horror movie, like i swear to gahd if some shit attacks m--"

aND RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT SOMETHING BODY SLAMS KYLE. like this herculean mass of energy, this strong, dark force runs at him at light speed, and is all over him. kyle is freaking the fuck out like oh my god this is actually a horror movie i am going to die, he screaming very girlish screams smh and then right when he thinks this supernatural monster beast from hell is going to gut him, somewhere off to the side, out of sight, the most threatening, frightening, authoritative and booming voice commands...

"sparky, sientate."

...and who is it, ofc...

but raven of crimson freakin' dawn. <3

who rushes over -- also this is irrelevant but i think he is in this sick colorful emo boy sweater and some ripped skinny jeans, you know, whore couture winter addition, he can be modest, you guys! -- and at the sight of him, this very large dog is immediately placated and ravenstan drops the scary dog training voice and is like "helllooo, sweet boy, mwahmwahmwah. besito besito besiiiiitoooo~ <33 :*"

i love ravenstan so bad, he's litrally so cute and an emo disney prince.

so sparky is just licking stan's face and being so sweet and we realize that sparky did not attack jersey to be vicious he just literally upon first glance liked him so much he wanted to say hi ksadhlsakd. amazing. kyle, however, hates most animals and drool and is a cat person and is like wiping his face with a hankerchief like fml.

and after a second, ravenstan rememeber, oh fuck, Kyle!!! so he immediately looks very worried and is like "i am SO sorry, jersey. he is super sweet, he just gets a little excited, y'know? are you--are you hurt at all? </3 here, take my hand, i'll help you up." all wide eyed

and jersey kyle aka crush era jersey my favorite period of time, is just looking up at raven of crimson dawn like he is a beautiful fake blonde eyeliner wearing apple cinnamon scented angel of death and...do yo know how badly kyle wants to take his hand? literally SO BAD. gay! down horrendous!!! but you know, he is a cold unfeeling husk and he does not like raven of crimson dawn! no way! i'm not dropping my mask in front of all these people, i am a loaded gun, i'm a weapon.

so kyle lifts his hand up like he's gonna take raven's hand and then at the last second, flips him off, rolls his eyes and is like "i've got it, ayshole." to which stan is like visibly disappointed for a second before Switching and shrugging doing the raven voice like 'suit yourself. you know, i like a man that's independent and can take care of himself." ;)

smhhhhh stan stop FLIRTING WITH KYLE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE LITERALLY NOT JERSEY TRYING NOT TO BLUSH LIKE!!! FOULLL!!

so important side note is that sparky is wearing...a pink bandana, ofc. which ofc, also means that he came from big gay al's animal rescue where curb also came from. and...sigh...so this is a small continuity error because i had al pretend not to know who the three people who paid blondie's rent were, but really all he said was that they didn't leave their names and ravenstan's voice sounded like heaven, which doesn't imply he....Doesn't know who he is.

and idk, was perhaps just keeping a secret for him...because raven actually does a fuck ton of volunteer work over there! hot boy shit! he is ofc, dressed like busted ass stan, but alas still v beautiful indeed. i think as a toolshed reference maybe spark got struck or nearly struck by lightning, he also has all that energy haha. stan basically foster failed him and he is ravenstan's emotional support dog and cd house pet, we love you sparky. that also means...drum roll pleaaaasee...

ravenstan knows curb! which is why curb got extremely excited to see him because ravenstan used to take care of him when he was in the animal santuary and stuff. so he quite literally heard stan's voice and was like!!!! aaaa!!! i missed you!!!! so cute omg reunited.

but yeah, they talk about that for a little...small world you know even for a big celebrity...kyle has sort of cute down horrendous gay daydream-y thoughts about how often stan must have come and go unbeknownst to all of them

( which he thinks is impossible because raven of crimson dawn's outfits are so shiny and tiny and scandalous that he has no idea how he could walk down the street without being noticed...but then, he's never actually seen stan look Normal and also...yeah kyle i bet you would be able to spot ravenstan a mile away and not be able to look away you gay ass bitch Stand Up!!!! )

and how cute he probably looks feeding all the lil critters in the pink shirt and like introducing little kids to them...also whether or not he rolls his sleeves up and how good his arms look...GO TO JAAAAAAIL.

but yeah! sparky! <3333 in my unpublished first draft boards i actually made a little section just for sparky.

final note: curb and sparky do hate eachother. they have shelter beef.

enemies to lovers, anyone?

-uncle nina, instigator of drama

[spaciebabie]

good morning im still fucking deranged. sorry. feel free to ignore this if its too much

im thinking about springtrap being so blissed out he becomes really giggly and shameless, just agreeing with anything you say and asking for more and pleading with you every time you stop for a second, either to give your hands a break or just to tease him. and this is so far from how he normally tries to present himself that it's both kind of amusing and endearing, and EXTREMELY satisfying to bring him to that point, to think that YOU are doing that to him, YOU are reducing the big scary monster to a melty giggling puddle. rgrhhagrhgashDGGERRHFHDGRRRRGRGRRRRRRRRRR IM GOING TO START BARKING

do not even get me started on the springlocks. it's about the closeness. the intimacy. the psychological aspect of getting pleasure out of the thing that killed you. it's about the DANGER, yanking your hands away before they snap closed and savoring his reaction. it's about the sensation being so much and hurting a little bit but feeling so good. it's about letting someone do that to you. it's about trusting them with that. i have this specific scrap of dialogue that is running CIRCLES in my head rn of him saying "it hurts..." in this dazed tone and replying with "do you want me to stop?" and he goes "...no" and then i rock his fucking world. DO YOU SEE MY VISION

wow who said all that aha must have been a gnome

you and me bro......we shaking hands cuz holy SHIT YOU GET IT YOU FUCKING GET IT. BIUG SCARY MONSTER DUDE REDUCED TA JUST A WRITHING GIGGLY PILE OF PLEASURE OH MY GODDD YOU GET IT YOU UNDERSTAND

[warlordfelwinter]

i love how put upon emet-selch sounds everytime he decides to do something remotely nice or helpful. he always sounds like someone's forcing him to do it and it's like literally no one asked

[wakingstarstuff]

when Florence Welch said ‘cause your pain is a tribute, the only thing you let hold you, wear it now like a mantle, always there to remind you

[lisbonsteresa]

little yellow house over everything, actually

[canongf-archive]

i haven't posted a whole lot of f/o content lately and honestly! it's because! i think i am falling for this real life man. i've posted a tiny bit about him! i've posted that i have a crush! but when we're together, when we talk and we laugh and i look him in the eyes, it feels like a much bigger deal than just a crush. we spent halloween together and it feels like something shifted. it feels like i am falling. and i know that this is a self ship blog and most people follow me for self ship content so i haven't wanted to post too much abt him! but you're also my friends and i wanted to share with you! 💗

[greppelheks]

These days I'm mostly realizing I'm getting older because I'm suddenly looking after my parents more and more often, now that they're getting more vulnerable with age.

[softquietsteadylove]

For the special force AU:

After Gil’s rescue.

A Soft and quiet moment between them in the hospital before the consequences for his action? :)

"Out."

"Easy, big fella," Kingo said gently, holding up his hands as he took a few steps towards Thena's hospital bed, and the chair where her 'guard dog' was seated. "Just came to see if you needed anything."

"I'm good."

"Come on, Gil," Kingo pleaded as softly as possible. He knew his partner would be reeling from what had happened to their boss--their friend. He had heard that absolutely no one had managed to get near her with Gil by her side. "She's okay, right?"

"She better be," he finally let out a sigh, uncrossing his arms and turning his head halfway away from Thena and towards his partner. "It's the only reason I'm here and not hunting down those bastards who left her in there."

"You know, if anyone were to hear you threaten the brass like that it'd be your badge," Kingo murmured, to which Gil didn't even offer a shrug of acknowledgement. Kingo looked at him, seeing the evidence of his unwillingness to rest if it left Thena unprotected. "Just...yell if you need me, okay?--either of you?"

Gil let out another heavy sigh, "thanks, man."

The door closed quietly behind him. Gil sat up in the chair he had pulled up to the side of the bed. He looked at Thena, sleeping as if she hadn't been kidnapped and brutalised on a tuesday afternoon.

It was true; no one had managed to come anywhere near her with him there. And he had no regrets about it. Clearly their bosses didn't give a shit about her, and if they thought they had any right to offer their apologies after...well, they were wrong.

Gil leaned forward, pushing some hair away from her cheek. His finger brushed the pale - and already bruising - skin there, and she leaned into his touch in her sleep. He smiled, undeniably melted by the subconscious trust she had in him. Standing, he leaned forward to touch his lips to her forehead. "Come on, Boss. I need you to open those eyes for me."

As if she'd heard him, her lashes fluttered, and soon he was reunited with that stunning favourite colour of his. "Hey."

"Hey," he beamed, although he had to blink away a few tears threatening to fall. He ran a hand over her hair, far too affectionately for his boss. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been strapped to a chair and beat up."

Gil huffed, but Thena gave him a tired attempt at her usual glare; she thought it was funny. "Now?--you're making jokes now?"

Her smile was heavy and hazy, fighting against the pull of anaesthesia. But it was there, and it was real. "You seem like you need it."

Gil still hadn't stopped brushing his hand over her hair, against her temple, her cheek. As if she were a ghost and he was trying to discern if she was real or not. "I need you to be okay."

"Then I'm okay."

He sighed, relishing the moment in which he let his palm hold her cheek, and she let her cheek lean into it more. They wouldn't have this opportunity for a long time coming--maybe never. "Thena-"

"Gil," she pressed, and he sat again, pulling her hand into his. "I know you went against orders to come and rescue me in there."

"How is that the problem?!" he shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "And not that I was ordered to stand by and watch while-"

"Focus, Gilgamesh," she crooned even more gently than normal. It still worked like a charm, grounding his attention to her in an instant. "You saved me--you. That's all that matters."

He let out a breath, at least some steam having left him. He nodded, accepting at least that much as he leaned forward again. He slid their fingers together, "what hurts?"

Thena gave it a test, shifting faintly under the thin hospital blankets. "Everything?"

"They should have you on stronger meds," Gil growled, ready to storm out into the hall and demand some from the nearest medic.

"Mm," she kept his hand locked with hers, however weakly. She shook her head, fighting to keep him with her. "No, just...just leave it."

"Thena," he whispered, sounding positively agonised about it. "I don't want you to be in pain."

"I'm fine," was the first thing out of her mouth, only to realise that it was utter bullshit as far as Gil was concerned. She corrected herself, "just stay. Just...just...please?"

He all but collapsed, weak in the knees at the sight of those eyes pleading with him. They always said so much more than she ever did aloud. He nodded, helpless to do much of anything else for her. He brought her hand up to his lips, "yeah--yeah, of course, Thena. I...I'm right here."

She closed her eyes again, evening out her own breathing as well. "If they know I'm awake they'll have you dragged out of here to question us both."

"They're not coming anywhere near you so long as I'm here."

"Gilgamesh."

"I mean it, Thena," he reiterated. He gave her hand another squeeze, "they have no right coming to talk to you when they're the reason you're in here. They can wait until you're released, and that's if I'm feeling generous."

She peeled her eyes open again to smile at him. "If only I could have you as protection for every time I had to talk to those-"

Thena cut herself off to yawn, not even attempting to cover her mouth as she did. Gil tugged at her blankets. "You should go back to sleep; get all the rest you can before the questioning begins."

"Can't wait," she mumbled, although her injuries and the medication she had for them were subduing her again. Her hazy eyes found his again. "You'll be here...right?"

He smiled at her, keeping her hand firmly in his, "I'm not going anywhere."

[fatherramiro]

for someone who doesn't think there should ever be a tv show that adapts baldur's gate 3, i sure do spend a lot of time thinking about how one could successfully adapt bg3 into a tv show

should i just give up and write my master plan out as a full fanfic at this point?

[jahiera]

just saw a lae’zel romance spoiler and actually maybe. maybe ceridwen and her would be beautiful together.