dragonwithapenoffire · 5 years ago
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My Heart or My People: Chapter 5
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(This chapter suggests minor themes of rape, please be careful if you are effected by this)
“Hey, luce. Lucy. Are you feeling ok?” Natsu said shaking me gently awake. I must of fallen straight to sleep after the events of the dress fitting.
“Hey, what time is it?”
“Lucy its 12 o’clock, why are you sleeping so early?”
“Oh. Ok.” I responded rather absentmindedly, finding my eyes beginning to shut again.
“Lucy! Are you feeling ok? I’ve never seen you like this before.”
“Yes, I’m fine. Just a little stressed is all.” Pulling myself up into a sitting position so I don’t drift off again I continue “Natsu, you should see the dress. It’s hideous. The complete lace and tulle mess my father has always imagined for me. Exactly what he wants. Just like everything else.”
“Ugh, gross. Want me to sneak in and burn it before they make ya wear it again?”
“I’m afraid even that won’t even stop this wedding from happening.” I sigh, I taste a hint of metal, like the taste of blood, and wonder when I bit my lip. “And on top of that, I’ve put on weight since the last fitting so the dress doesn’t fit right, so I’m going to look like a fat plum on my wedding day as well”
“Well, more like a pear, with those hips and that small waist of yours Luce” Natsu teases and I playfully shove him so he falls onto his back on the bed.
“Oh I have large hips do I Natsu Dragneel.” I draw out his name and he smirks as I crawl up and straddle him.
“Haha, yes, they’re quite voluptuous” he responds dragging his hand up my thigh.
“Oh what a big word, I didn’t know you knew such a word”
“Turns out that royal tutor of yours you’ve had teaching me has been doing well” he says, as his hand reaches my ass and squeezes it gently.
“I’m glad you have actually been attending the lessons” I say bending my lips down to hover over his, but before our lips can meet I feel something curling in my stomach and up my throat. I find myself leaping off him and rushing to my bathroom. Natsu rushes in behind me at the sound of my retching, immediately pulling my hair back to stop me from puking on it, and rubbing my back reassuringly. Every time I think it’s stopped, I find my head back in the toilet bowl. Trust me to ruin a moment like that, he probably thinks this is so gross.
When it finally subsides, I turn around to see the concerned look marking his face, but he doesn’t give me time to comment as he immediately lifts me up into his arms and carries me to my bed, before disappearing out of the room. A few minutes later, he returns with Aquarius in tow, the same concerned face now marks hers as well.
“Thank you for getting me Natsu, you may leave now” he starts to protest but she continues, “that was an order. Leave.” And he does.
She walks over to me and perches on the side of my bed, bringing her hand up to my forehead, then my cheeks, then my forehead again. “Yep, no temperature. You’re not ill, either you’re being a dramatic bitch, or you’re in big, big trouble. I knew something was up from this morning”
My eyebrows bunch together in confusion. Her concern looks more like fury now, and for the first time, I am truly scared of Aquarius. “How could you be so stupid! Do you not know how important this wedding is for our country! No, you’ve decided to be selfish and have a bit of fun before you are married and look where it’s lead you! You stupid, stupid girl!”
I feel the colour drain from my face and tears well in my eyes. She has never talked so sternly or reprimanded me so harshly before. I am so, so confused. I just wanted to be loved and to be in love, what could be so wrong with that. I know I have duties but I will still go through with them. She can’t really be mad at me for stressing out about the wedding? Isn’t every bride stressed about their wedding day? Even those who have a choice who their husband is.
“Aquarius, please I am so confused, I am just a little stressed, theres no need to be so angry.”
“Oh, you’re far more than just stressed girl. You barely know the meaning of the word.”
“What do you mean? Just because i am a princess does not mean I have never been stressed before, I know what it’s like!”
Aquarius just shakes her head, fury still obvious on her face. “Come with me right now, and don’t draw unnecessary attention to yourself” she grabs me by the wrist and pulls me out of the door. Natsu is on the other side, he’d obviously been eavesdropping. I look to Aquarius, she has now put on a face that seems calm, but I can see her bubbling below the surface.
“Where are you taking Lucy?”
“None of your business boy, go back to your work.” She says in a dismissive tone, pulling me down the corridor.
“If you’re taking her somewhere, I want to go too. I don’t want to leave her side when she’s ill.”
“No! Under no uncertain circumstances will you follow us, do you understand me. If you follow us, you will die.” I thought her threat was a little harsh, but her tone spooked him enough that with apologetic eyes at me, he turned around and walked off.
“That was a little uncalled for. You can trust him, he’s not a bad person just because he isn’t rich and royal.”
She ignores me, and in silence she leads me down the corridor in no clear direction.
Too many minutes later, she shoves me through a door and shuts it behind her.
“Oh hello Princess, it has been a while since I have seen you” a woman with long pink hair tied in a bun bows. I recognise her, I think her name is Polyusca. The castle healer. I look to Aquarius in shock, surely I am not that ill that I require a healer, but could this be what Aquarius meant that I have ruined the wedding? Could I be so ill that it cannot go through? I shouldn’t feel slight joy at that fact. I instantly feel regretful for ever thinking that and the nausea starts nibbling at me again.
“Get this girl a bucket or a bowl right now.” Aquarius demands and a blue haired apprentices gets it to me just in time as I fill it.
“What is about to be talked about in this room, must not leave this room, and if I find out it has, I know who’s head to demand in a basket do you understand me.” All the healers nod, pale faced. I didn’t know Aquarius held this much respect in the castle, sure she is the head of the servants and looks after them all, but I’ve never taken her threats seriously. There’s no way my father can trust her that much that she can hold that much power in his castle. “Our Princess is feeling a bit under the weather, as you can see, but I fear it is something far more serious than just a stomach bug. I request a urine test to confirm her symptoms, but with everything that has been going on recently, I would be very surprised if it is not what I think it is.” My head is swimming with Aquarius’s every word, trying to piece together what she is proposing is wrong with me. ‘Serious, everything that has been going on.’ I audibly gasp, and one of the healers looks at me quizzically. Could I be poisoned? Am I going to- before i can finish the thought I am guided into an adjacent room. I do as they say and after they have everything they need, I am left to stew alone.
I am sat on a low bed near a window that overlooks a small pond. As I watch, a little green frog bounces towards the water’s edge before disappearing underneath a lotus flower into the murky water below, narrowly missing being caught in the talons of a hungry bird. The bird caws in anguish at it’s lost lunch, and returns to circling in the sky. I see myself in that little frog and hope I am just as lucky.
Polyusca and Aquarius come through the door. Aquarius’s lips are in a tight line and a shadow is cast on her face when she stops near me. The energy is low, and the suspension is grinding on me.
The healers face is a mask. She has been trained to deliver news from joyful to life-altering with no emotion, so I cannot glean any hint from her as of the nature of the results.
We stay in silence for many moments more before Polyusca finally speaks up. “Princess Lucy. I have done all the tests required to find out the cause of your current condition, and have come to the medical conclusion that you are in fact with child. How this came about before you are to be wed is distressing to think about and I can only offer my condolences to you for how you must of suffered at the hands of the man who did this to you against your will. If you will tell me the names of any men who have touched you in a lustful manner, I will be sure to report them to the king so you can get the justice you deserve.” My mouth is on the floor and all words are stripped from me. Her words rattle through my skull and a headache starts to form as soon as I start to think about it. “I understand this will be painful for you to recount, so I will leave you alone with your Lady Aquarius to process everything before I return.” With that, she gives a short bow and is out of the room. I am about to ask Aquarius to explain everything to me but before I can say anything, she cuts me off.
“Don’t look so shocked girl, you brought this upon yourself. Fraternising with a man you are not married to only leads to this. What else are they supposed to think. You are their Princess, you are not supposed to make any mistakes.” Her words hit me. Hard. Ripping me from my tumbling thoughts. As if loving Natsu could ever be a mistake.
“Well that is unrealistic. Everyone makes mistakes.” I bite back, but there is no force behind the words. I feel myself breaking apart underneath. It’s like Polyusca just threw a plate at me. ‘With child’. I’m pregnant. I am pregnant with mine and Natsu’s child, but they think he raped me. Fate has a way of giving you exactly what you want in the most cruel way possible. I don’t want justice, I want to celebrate but everyone else wants him killed. Is that why Aquarius didn’t let him come with us? Was she protecting him in her roundabout way? I look to Aquarius then and there is nothing but grief on her face. Grief because she knows what the King is going to do when he finds out. No matter if he’s my father. He does not take well to being disrespected. And lying with the man I love is the most disrespectful thing I have ever done
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