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[dragonwithapenoffire]

HEY READERS!

Sorry I've been MIA for a while, I've been working on my own original novel and I got distracted.

I have half finished the next chapter and that will be up soon!

I just wanted to let you know that I am uploading a new edited version of the story onto wattpad. (In my opinion, the writing is a lot better).

I have just uploaded the new version of chapter 1 and will be publishing updates regularly!

The story is of the same name: My Heart or My people

And my Wattpad name is DragonThatWrites

Feel free to check that out if it interests you!

Thank you so much for your patience

[dragonwithapenoffire]

My Heart or My People: Chapter 10

"Who is this Gray Fullbuster?" I said, turning around to face Natsu. He just shrugged before saying nonchalantly,

"An old friend who lives around here." He did not offer any more information to quell my curiosity.

“Oh.” I sighed, a slight pang in my chest forming.

“So, why did you run away?” Levy said, linking her arm with mine. I hesitated, looking for Natsu, but he was too busy leading the group to notice. I took a deep breath, thinking about what I should tell her.

“My father wanted me to marry a man I had never met and didn’t love, and I wanted more for myself. So I left.” Levy’s jaw was on the floor and she had stopped us momentarily in her shock.

“Wow. They have arranged marriages in high class family as well? I thought it was just the royalty?”

“Yea, I guess so,” I said, smiling gingerly, starting us up again so we would catch up with the others.

Juvia and Gajeel were talking animatedly with each other. Gajeel said something that made Juvia gasp and shove his arm playfully. Gajeel roared in laughter, picking her up and swinging her around.

I looked at Levy. If she felt anything about it, no such emotion showed in her face, but I wondered if Juvia and Gajeel's relationship was what made the couple bicker so much. I diverted my attention back to the path ahead, then an almighty wave of nausea hit. Before I could register what was happening, I puked, narrowly missing my shoes, and was fortunate enough not to step in it. Levy had jumped back a few metres and was now rushing back to my side. Someone was rubbing my back, and when I composed myself, Natsu's hand was on my forehead and checking me over. He gave me a look and I nodded in response, just the baby.

Everyone else was asking me questions, but I paid them no attention. Natsu took my hand, leading my around my vomit and on my way again. He muttered something to the group, probably telling them not to worry, before picking me up in his arms, where I soon drifted to sleep.

It turned out Natsu’s friend Gray lived a good distance away, which Natsu had failed to mention before, and by nightfall we still hadn’t arrived so we had no choice but to camp out. The last inn we had passed had been a few miles away, and none of us had the energy to walk back just to have a semi-soft bed for the night.

Natsu and Gajeel argued about which was the best way to make a fire, but soon enough I was warming my hands by a small blaze. Juvia came and sat next to me, offering a small smile in greeting. I smiled back, but returned my focus again on my hands.

“You hungry?” I looked back at Juvia and she had a pie in her hands, I nodded eagerly and she offered it to me, before producing one of her own. I gently warmed it by the fire before taking a bite. Flavour filled my mouth. The pastry was the perfect mix of soft and crunchy, the filling, some kind if meat and vegetable, was not too salty and melted in my mouth. I looked to Juvia in delight and she smiled.

“It’s Juvia's father’s recipe, he's really good at baking. He gave them to Juvia before we left, for the journey.” Juvia was looking mournfully down at her pie. I instantly regretted taking one from her, but also was not willing to let something so delicious out of my grasp.

“Your father was at the Inn?”

She nodded. “Yes, he owns it.” Well that explained her room. “Juvia doesn’t think she will be able to forgive herself for leaving?”

“How come? I barely know you and I could tell you wanted to leave?”

“My father, he uses a wheeled chair to get around and Juvia normally looks after him. Now Juvia is not there, he will have to do it all himself.”

"Is there no one else who could help him? How about your mother, or any siblings?"

"No. Juvia's mother left when she was very young and Juvia has no siblings. Only Gajeel."

"How long have you known him?" I asked, taking another bite from my pie.

"Since we were children. We grew up together and he is Juvia's only friend."

"Not anymore," I smiled, taking her hand in mine. Juvia smiled back before gazing off into the fire. "So Gajeel, do you like him?"

Juvia looked like I had thrown cold water over her. "No, no, no, no, no, Juvia most definitely does not. Yuck. He is a brother to Juvia. No way."

"Ah, ok," I laughed, taking another bite, and she laughed back, shaking her head in disbelief. "But your father, I am sure he would not have encouraged you to go if he didn't think he could look after himself."

Juvia stopped laughing. "I suppose."

"I am sure he is going to be ok." I rubbed her arm in what I hoped was comfort and she smiled, finally taking a bite out of her pie.

                                                          *****

"And may I introduce, King Rogue Cheney of Alconia!"

The Prince was stood to the side of his father's throne as the young King entered. In all his travelling, he had never had the chance to meet him, though he had heard rumours of the King's attractiveness, though no story could prepare him to meet the man who walked in.

He stood slightly taller than the prince himself, and carried himself, not with swagger, but with purpose and grace. His black hair reached the nape of his neck, and his long fringe was tucked behind an ear. His face was soft, cheekbones high and his eyes, forbidding yet kind.

The moment he saw him, warmth bloomed in his chest, a feeling he was unfamiliar with. He had taken many lovers in his life, but none had made him feel so weak and fragile under their gaze, or caused an aching in his heart, not between his legs.

"I am pleased to finally meet you, your Majesty's" The king said, bowing deeply and flicking his arms out to the side in a dramatic fashion. When he rose, his gaze was on the Prince.

"And we you, King Rogue. I am sorry that your betrothed could not be here to greet you, but I have been informed that she is locked up in her rooms with an acute illness." Pronounced the Prince's father.

"I hope nothing too serious, my Lord?"

"No, no. Just a minor thing, she should be up to seeing you by the end of the week."

"I wish her well and look forward to our meeting." The young King bowed again, less deeply.

"Now, my plan was to have my daughter show you around the castle, but as that is not possible, my son, Prince Sting, will do it instead." The prince's eyes shot wide in shock, and he gasped. The young King returned his gaze to the prince and smiled in a way that made a tingle go down Sting's spine.

"Of course, Father." The Prince sputtered, bowing, before making his way down the dais towards King Rogue. Sting bowed again, this time to the young king, and said. "Shall we start now your Majesty?"

"That would be delightful."

Prince Sting led King Rogue out of the Throne Room, avoiding eye contact as much as he could. When the doors were safely closed behind them Rogue said, "So, where to first?" winking one eye at the Prince.

Sting tried to swallow the feelings that were starting to bubble and remain calm, to no avail. "To the kitchens, this way."

"Ok." Rogue smirked, "lead the way."

Throughout the tour, Sting was sure he felt King Rogue staring at his behind, but every time he snuck a look behind his shoulder, the young King had deftly looked away.

Sting ended the tour at the chambers where the King would be staying, until his marriage. Where his sister would finally belong to the King, body and soul. That is, if she was ever found.

He had ordered anybody who knew of the Princess's disappearance to keep it a secret from the King for a while and to inform him that she was too ill to greet her new husband. All awhile he sent a secret team of guards to scour the city for any sign of his sister. He knew that if the King knew he would throw a fit, and probably order many people to their deaths for letting someone take her. The last being his sister, for her defiance against him.

He just hoped they were able to find her before it was too late and the King grew suspicious. He could distract this young King for a while, hopefully quelling his suspicions, even if it took every ounce of his self-control and will not to fall for him himself.

"And these are your chambers for your time here." Sting opened the door to the spacious rooms. The door opened to a living space, with low couches and tables, as well as bookcases full of books to entertain him. To the left, there was a door that lead to the King's sleeping quarters, and to the right, a door that lead to a closet and bathing space, where his belongings had already been placed.

“Oh, yes. These will do,” The young king said, taking a step into his rooms. Sting gave a small smile, before nodding and turning to leave. “Where are you going?” His voice cutting through the Prince.

“I am leaving you to rest before the banquet this evening, your highness.”

“No, please stay. Join me for some tea. And maybe you could tell me a bit more about your sister?” Sting could have sworn King Rogue seemed almost desperate, but shook it off as wishful thinking.

“Of course, Your Majesty,” The prince said, bowing his head, and told a passing servant to bring them a few refreshments. When the tea and cakes arrived, both men were sat on one of the low couches in the middle of the room. A respectable distance between them. The servant bowed fully, and when she rose, her eyes lingered a little too longly on Sting before she departed.

“You are quite popular in the castle I see,” Rogue said, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry, your highness?”

“That girl, she couldn’t take her eyes off of you. She was practically drooling all over these wonderful cakes she brought us.”

“I guess so,” Sting chuckled, and motioned for the king to take a cup of tea.

“Yet, you have not looked for a permanent partner yet?” The king sat forward, pouring a drink from the pot of steaming tea. Sting watched his every movement.

"Uuh, no, I have not. I guess I have not given it much thought to be honest."

"Wouldn't you like that? Someone to kiss you tenderly and to always be there for you at night. That one person, who is just for you." Rogue now had one arm on the back of the couch and was leaning back leisurely, one leg crossed over the other, and was eyeing Sting in such away it made him slightly uncomfortable.

"I suppose that sounds nice, I don't think I've ever been kissed tenderly. Are you excited to have that with my sister?"

"I guess," Rogue said, with a small teasing tone, and took a drink from the cup in his hand.

"How are you feeling about having an arranged marriage? Wouldn't you rather be with someone you loved?" Sting unexpectedly was nervous to ask this question. It was a stupid useless question for someone like them. Royalty get almost anything but to choose who they marry.

"Well, I'm a little nervous to be honest. I don't think I will be the husband she deserves, and I don't want to make her unhappy. If I could choose, I'd rather dedicate my life to someone I love, and I know who loves me, and can put up with my bullshit." Rogue chuckled, but there was something softer in his voice than there had been before. "But, you know as much as me, that is just not an option for people like us. Especially with Balton preparing for certain war, we need any alliance we can get. Therefore, when I heard your father was looking for an alliance, I said yes, no matter if I originally wanted to marry for love. Being King you'd think I'd get to choose my own fate, but war hungry mongrels prove otherwise"

Sting nodded sombrely, "True." After a few moments of silence he continued, "Anyway, you wanted to know more about my sister, what would you like to know?"

"I don’t know, what is she like?"

"Well, you have your work cut in, to be honest she is a handful. But also very beautiful and strong spirited. If you do something wrong, she will definitely tell you about it, but when she loves something, nothing will stand in her way of getting what she wants."

"What about you? How are you when you love something?" The young King had at some point drawn closer to the prince, and he was quite taken aback at how close in proximity they now were.

"Umm, uh, well," Sting stammered, "I guess I want to protect them. And do what I can for them."

"Very valiant and princely of you," Rogue smiled, drawing even more closer.

"I suppose." Sting wanted to pull away, to stand up and walk out of the room. That would have been the good thing to do. This man is his sister's betrothed, he shouldn't get between them. It would only complicate things. Even if his sister's heart surely belonged to another. But something, like a song in his blood, drew him like a bee to a flower to the young king. He could feel Rogue's breathe on his lips, and before he knew what was happening, the King's lips were on his own. Soft and tender, the king explored his mouth with his, before gently pulling away.

"A boy like you should be kissed tenderly far more often." Rogue smirked and Sting's heart skipped a beat.

[dragonwithapenoffire]

So I actually have wrote most of the next chapter, I'm just not completely happy with it, so I've just got to finish it and then it will be up. Probably by the end of the week!!

[dragonwithapenoffire]

Turns out that in order to post my fics, I have to write them! Shocked and upset.

[dragonwithapenoffire]

Omg You write awsome its so uWu for my heart ❤️

Awww Thank You so much!!! It means a lot to me ❤💜💙

[dragonwithapenoffire]

My Heart or My People: Chapter 9

Natsu and I stayed on the road until it began to start getting dark again, trying to get as much distance between us and the eventual royal search party.                  When I was about to collapse from exhaustion, we came across a quaint inn on the road. It was just outside of a small village, and looked unassuming enough.

Natsu bargained with the innkeeper and eventually got us a room on the top floor. Apparently, we were not the only runaways who wanted a bed for the night.

We went straight up to our room and I collapsed onto the bed, feeling my bones sink into the mattress in relief.

"You doing ok Luce?" Natsu asked, setting down our bags before exploring the furniture in our room.

"Yes. I just need sleep." I pulled off my shoes and outer layer of clothes and climbed under the covers. "You coming in?"

"Just a minute." Natsu was rifling through one of the wooden draws in the room, seeming to be struggling pulling something up. I heard a crack and Natsu fell back a few steps catching his breath.

"What the heck did you just do?" Natsu turned around with a shit eating grin on his face and a small chest in his hands. "What is that?"

"A chest." I just looked at him.

Natsu sat on the bed and started to pull at the lid. After a few moments of struggle, the lid popped, revealing jewels and coins inside. My jaw dropped to the bed and I looked at him again.

"What? I didn’t survive on my own so long for no good reason. This is on a popular bandit route, they stash things in the rooms they use so that aren’t caught with it and then they always have money when they come back." I nodded slightly impressed. This money should last us a good while, definitely for food and lodgings, maybe even for a ship off of this country. I yawned and snuggled my way back under the covers. Natsu put the box on the bedside table, before turning off the light and joining me.

                                                             …

When we woke up at noon the following day, we ventured downstairs to see what quality of food they served before beginning again with our travels. To our surprise, the dining room in this shabby place was packed with other travellers. Not a spare table in sight. We ordered food regardless, and sat down awkwardly at the end of a table with one other couple on, choosing not to talk unless word of our disappearance had already hit the towns, and occasionally smiled at each other from across the table.                                                                                    The other couple were bickering softly and I smiled at their domesticness. Would Natsu and I learn to bicker with each other like that, only to make up with stolen kisses and soft promises?

Our food soon arrived and I looked at the plate of food I had never eaten before. How could there be so much food I have never eaten before. I started on this pink piece of meat, and sat speechless when Natsu told me it was made out of the fatty part of the pig. How could something so bad for you taste so damn good?

"You look like you've never eaten fry up Blondie." It was the man on the other end of the table. He had long black hair and piercings all over his face. Natsu answered for me as I had just put the biggest forkful of food into my mouth. It was so freeing not having to eat all proper.

"Yea, I was as surprised as you are. She's had strict parents."

"Aw, at least you're free of them now right?" It was the lady now, who was sat at the same side of the table as me. Her hair was about the same length as mine, but blue.  I gently smiled at her and she moved in closer to me and offered me her hand. "I'm Levy, nice to meet you, and this brute is Gajeel." The man, Gajeel, feigned shock and looked around in bemusement.

"What brings you two to this neck of the woods?" Natsu said, who to my surprise had already finished all of his food.

"Well. I'm a little bit of an outcast, and I met little missy here on the road not too long ago. Apparently she really likes stories, and wanted to be a part of mine." Gajeel said, causing Levy's face to redden all over. "What about you."

"Same stuff really. Luce here fell head over heels in love with me and begged me to come work for her family. Then she begs me to help her leave them, and here we are." I glare at Natsu from across the table and he chuckles in response. He needs to be more careful, he's revealing too much.

"Your clothes are so fancy, where are you from?" Levy asks, tilting her head to the side.

"Just a rich family in Fiore, nothing special," I finally speak up. If she noticed my clothes, surely someone else would, so I ask, "would you perhaps know a place I could get some normal clothes so I don't stand out so much?"

"Around here, not a chance. No decent shops for hours, but," She looked me up and down, eyes slightly squinting, "give me a second." She stood up from the table and disappeared for a few minutes. When she returned, she was with a beautiful woman, about a head taller than her, with long flowing blue hair like a waterfall. Like Aquarius’s. "This is Juvia. She's going to let you borrow some of her clothes as you're about the same size."

"Juvia is pleased to meet you." The new woman said and bowed deeply at the waist. "Would you like to come with me?" I was so unsure what to do. These people are so generous, and I don't even know them. I stood up, and saw Natsu tense from across the table, I could tell he was concerned what their motives were but I felt like I could trust them, so gave him a reassuring look and followed Juvia.

She took me up to the room she must be staying in. It was a lot nicer than Natsu and I's room, with blue accents it looked like it was made for her. She opened up the wardrobe which was white, with delicately painted bluebells, it was overflowing with all sorts of clothes and she disappeared into the cacophony of fabrics for several moments.

"Levy told Juvia you are a runaway from a strict, rich family, these clothes should help you fit in a bit more so they don't find you." She pulled out a beautiful blue halter top, with buttons running down the middle, and a short white skirt. I blushed at the scandalousness of it, but put it on nonetheless. I could feel a chill on my legs I had never felt before. I tried to hide my body as much as I could, I have never felt so naked.

Juvia again rifled through her wardrobe and put a few more outfits in a bag that she then handed to me. "You can keep them, Juvia has so many already." I started to argue but she grabbed my hands. "We all have our stories to tell. Levy's life has not been as carefree as she is. You have lived someone else's story for so long, it is time for you to take something back and live how you want, do you understand." I nodded my head and muttered a thank you. I tear escaped down my face and she wiped it away. "Now, off you go on your adventure."

When we walked back to the table, Natsu's jaw hit the floor. He was staring at every curve I had as if he had never seen my body before.

"Whoop, there we go, Blondie has some legs on her," Gajeel hollered as I retook my seat. Natsu was in too much of a daze to tell him off.

"So, we have been talking, and we have decided to join your party. We're both wandering to nowhere so what do you say?" Levy had a hopeful smile on her face that I knew I couldn't deny.

"Sure, why not." Levy wriggled excitedly and her grin grew wider.

"Juvia, why don't you join us? You've been in this place too long. It's time for a fresh start for all of us."

"Juvia couldn't, what about my father, I couldn't leave him, and he's done so much for me."

"Juvia. You just told me to go on an adventure, why don't you go on one too?" Juvia looked down to the floor and took a deep sigh.

"Ok, Juvia agrees, Juvia will go." She said, and it looked like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

By the next hour, we were again on the road, but this time we were not alone. "Off we go to wherever the road takes us!" I excitedly exclaimed. In the first time in my life I was truly feeling free.

"Oh, the road is taking us somewhere." Natsu butted in, and I looked at him in confusion, I never thought he had a plan. "We're heading to an old friend of mines. Gray Fullbuster."

                                                       …

The door to the princess's room opened and her Lady in waiting Aquarius walked in. "Rise and shine princess, big day to-"

At the sight that greeted her she fell to her knees. The room was cold and empty. The princess was gone. A feeling in Aquarius's gut told her she hadn't just gone out for a morning walk. The princess had been kidnapped.

                                                        …

The Prince was next to enter the room, he had wanted to give her one last comforting talk before she met her King, as soon as he walked through the door, he froze in his tracks.

The Princess's Lady in Waiting was on her knees a few steps away, bawling her eyes out. No longer the strong woman she had always seemed to be. A chill slid its way down his spine as he looked at the vast room in front of him, empty of the essence that had always made it bright and cosy.

His sister was gone. The country was at war. And the King that could save them had just arrived.

[dragonwithapenoffire]

Just writing the next chapter now, should be up soon!

(Also, new characters being introduced this next chapter!)

[dragonwithapenoffire]

Hi! I'm planning on posting way more regularly now and also writing a few one shots. Any suggestions are welcomed 😁

[dragonwithapenoffire]

My Heart or My People: Chapter 8

It takes almost the full week until the Kings arrival to get everything prepared to leave. I had told no one of the plan, not even Sting. Though I know he would support me, he could still try to stop me, and I don’t need that right now. Aquarius asks no more about what my plans are for the baby and does not even mention it apart from the occasional, “how are you feeling today.” It kills me to not tell her what I am doing. She has been there for me from the moment my mother died, and when I leave, I may never see her again. I’ve told Natsu as much, but he reassures me we are doing the right decision. Even if it is a decision that will get him killed if we are caught.

Just as I am finishing up the preparations, there is a knock at the door. I scramble to hide any evidence that may give me away and tell the person to come in.

"How is my favourite sister feeling?" Sting says softly, closing the door behind him. I'm glad I get to see him one last time.

"Good. Tired, but good."

"Yea, the wedding planning must be stressful, I couldn't imagine." He says, giving me a small smile. Sting seems somber tonight, as if he is about to deliver some bad news.

"Is something up? You seem off?" He sighs, and walks me over so we are both sat comfortably on my bed. He pulls me into a hug so I can't see his face when he says, "King Rogue has sent word that he will be arriving in the morning. He also wants you to know how excited he is to finally meet you, and hopes you find him agreeable."

"Oh." The only word I can find to say.

"You don't have to be strong with me. I have tried everything to try and get father to pass this burden onto me but he just won't have it. I'm so sorry." He pulls me in tighter and I feel wetness drip onto my neck. He's crying. I don't think I have ever seen Sting cry. I pull away and wipe a tear from his cheek.

"It's fine. Thank you for even trying, I really appreciate it."

"You are too strong to just be some king's bride." He mutters and pulls me in for another hug. I am starting to think that this is more for him. "I also have heard that your friend is leaving. I signed his discharge paperwork this morning." My whole body went tense. "I cannot imagine what you must be feeling, but it is probably for the best him not being here." I didn't say a word. I couldn't trust myself to not tell him everything and tell him how much I am going to miss him. I felt a drop on my hand and I realised it was I who was now crying.

He pulled me in again and cradled me into his arms, rocking up back and forth. "It's going to be ok. I promise. I love you with all my heart."

                                                …

"Luce, wake up, it's time to go." I woke up to Natsu by my bedside gently nudging me. I rubbed at my eyes and looked around for Sting. He was gone.

Natsu passed me the clothes I had left out and I clumsily dressed while he gathered the bags I had packed. I knew I couldn't take much, but I always seem to over-pack. He didn't seem to mind.

We crept through the hallways and then through a servants corridor I didn't even know existed.

The chill night air hit me like a wave and I took a deep breath. I put a hand on my small belly and rubbed slowly. A reassurance that this is real and that their fiery heart is beating within me. And took my first step out into my new life.

When the servants come to wake me in the morning, they will find my bed cold. My room empty. And a window open letting in a chill. They will most likely panic and send a search party out immediately. With the kings arrival they will most likely not make my disappearance public until they have no other choice. They will search the entire town for any sign of me, but I will be long gone.

[dragonwithapenoffire]

[dragonwithapenoffire]

My Heart or My People: Chapter 7

(This chapter includes a rape scene, so please be careful if you could be effected by this). 

I am sat on my bed, or is it someone else’s, and the castle is silent. The sun has firmly set, the sky a deep blue, and I can see a few stars through my window twinkling in the distance.

The door to the room opens abruptly and a man I do not know strides in and grins a large toothy grin at me before slamming the door behind him, shaking a few of the picture frames on the wall. His beard and hair are greasy, his stomach round and protruding. His royal clothes are slightly stained from a night of gorging himself on a feast fit for the King he is soon to become, and it’s a mix of drunkenness and desire I see brewing in his eyes.

I look down to avoid his gaze and that’s when I notice the wedding dress I am wearing. White for the purity he was promised. It hugs me tight in areas a man would find joy at gazing upon, and flounces out at my hips as if I am sat on a cloud. Long silk gloves run up my arms and galant sparkling jewellery adorns my neck, pulling the gaze to my large chest.

His hungry gaze rakes over me as he takes slow, purposeful steps toward the bed, his eyes occasionally catching and lingering on certain parts of me. In all this silk and tule, I have never felt more naked.

I shuffle back slightly as he stops before me, but he reaches under my skirts to my legs and pulls me closer to him. His breath is thick in my face and I smell the heady stench of alcohol as it begins to stick to my skin.

He reaches behind me to my back and starts fiddling with the fastenings of my dress, in a few quick movements he has it undone and rips the bodice right off of my shocked body. I want to move my arms and cover myself from his gaze but I am stuck, frozen in fear as he begins to do the same to the skirts. He stands me up, swapping places with me, and lets my voluptuous skirts puddle around my ankles. He takes one of my hands to steady me as I step out of the skirts, before kicking them to the other side of the room.

I stand before him, frozen like a statue, as his gaze yet again rakes over me. A cold shiver goes down my spin and I feel my throat constricting. I am now in a simple silk underdress, matching the gloves still on my hands, with pieces of lace adorning the edges. On my legs, longs socks stop just below where a lacy garter has been placed on my thigh, and white heals are still on my feet. In another circumstance I might of enjoyed to wear something like this in front of my husband. But not with this man. His lecherous gaze still does not stray from my body, and his attention snags on that garter, then just a bit higher.

“Take those shoes off” he orders me and like a good pet wife, I obey him. “Now come here”. I walk towards him, a robot to his commands and stop just in front of him. He grabs my waist and pulls me on top of me, until I am sat on his lap, straddling him. Until I can feel exactly how happy he is. Only more coldness blooms within me. He puts his face near my neck and takes a long deliberate sniff, his hands dangerously high on my thighs.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been with one so young and pure like you.” His eyes move to my breasts again, “we’re going to have fun you and I.” And without warning, he flips me onto the bed. I am still and in shock as he begins to hover above me. His gaze, yet again, raking over my body. It goes to the garter and he smirks. My blood runs cold.

He brings his greasy head, to my smooth thigh and takes the garter in his teeth, before pulling it down my leg and off at my foot.

My blood is hammering in my skull, and I begin shaking with fear. I feel like at any moment, my lungs could give out and I could stop breathing.

He takes the garter in his hands before saying “This is what I’m going to do to your maidenhead.” And snaps the thin elastic.

I have no response to that, I just begin shaking even more. He laughs, a loud, ugly laugh. I can see all of his teeth, most of them rotten, and his saliva coats my face. I am too scared to wipe it off.

He reaches down to his breeches and unties the lacing. I think I’ve stopped breathing all together. I’m not ready for this. Somebody help me.

He takes great pleasure in reaching up between my thighs and tearing the flimsy piece of white lace which was my underwear, before thrusting into me. Pain splinters around me, and I am sure I go unconscious for several seconds. When I awaken, his sweat is dripping all over me and he is thrusting, again and again and again. It hurts so much, that that spot between my thighs has gone numb. I no longer feel like I am in my body anymore. I look to the side, anywhere to not look at him, and gaze back out at the stars through the window. And begin to count them. One. Two. Three. Four. Anything to not look at him. Twenty. Twenty one. Twenty two. And with every count, wishing that this would all be over. Fifty four. Fifty five. And then, as if my prays have been answered, he stills. Relief begins to blossom in my chest until I feel a hot liquid between my legs. I swallow in disgust, and try not to let it show on my face, but it must of because he begins to chuckle before removing himself from me and flopping down on the bed.

I look back out at the stars. I will never be able to look at them with the wanderlust I once did, and tears begin to fall down my face.

Within a few minutes he is snoring and I race to my bathroom. I do as good a job as I can wiping the liquid that has begun to drip down my thighs away, before nausea overwhelms me and I fall to the floor puking.

                                                          •••

I wake up needing to puke, and rush out of my bed, just making it in time to the bathroom, before last nights dinner comes back to haunt me. I don’t know if this is morning sickness or because of the dream I just had. Coldness licks up my spine.

When I finally finish, I notice Natsu is at my side, rubbing my back, with a look of harsh concern written all over his face.

“I’m fine, don’t worry, it’s just because of the baby.”

“You were crying in your sleep. And screaming no, nO, NO. I tried to wake you up, but it was as if you were trapped in your head. It was horrifying to watch Luce.”

“Natsu. You once said you would do anything to stay by my side.” He nodded, not sure where this was going. “Well, I want you to do it. I want you to steal me away like a dragon. I’ve decided I want you, and this baby. I don’t care about duty anymore. I don’t care about the risks. I want you, and this family, and I’m going to take it.”

Shock flashes on Natsu’s face, before tears start to fall. “I thought you’d never ask.” He said, a huge grin spreading on his face.

[dragonwithapenoffire]

My Heart or My People: Chapter 6

(This chapter contains references to rape, more so than the last, and abortion, so please be careful when reading this if this could effect you.)

Aquarius escorted me back to my chambers. All I heard was the sound of our careful footsteps and the silent mumbling from the castle over the screaming thoughts in my head. I wanted Natsu. I wanted this. But not this way. Not when it will get him killed.

My soon to be husband’s arrival in eminent. If i was smart enough I might stop things from progressing in the comfort of my own bedroom. A healer might even be able to help me. Then I could bring a child into the world when the timing was better. When either I am free to love Natsu as I please through whatever small miracle, or when I lawfully produce an heir for my soon-to-be husbands line to be secure. The second thought makes me feel sick.

The thought of a sweaty, middle age man thrusting above me between my forced open legs, breath thick on my neck, while I patiently wait for it all to end. When my period stops and I can tell him, he has succeeded and I have my respite until it’s time again for another, or he can’t control his urges and I have to let him have his way. It’s so at odds with my life now. With how this child was created. Feet twisting in silken sheets. Soft kisses down my body. Pleasure roaring through us both as we battle to crawl inside each others skin. Why should something made out of something so good and healthy bring destruction to my life. Why should I have to stop this thing inside of me from turning into my baby just because it wouldn’t make my father happy. Just because it’s father isn’t royal blooded, and cold hearted like mine. Why is it my duty to suffer while everyone else can love whom they want. A monarchy built on the suffering of either the Queen or King could never bring true prosperity and happiness to the people they want to protect. So why are we building our countries on this.

Aquarius leaves me at my door with a kiss on my head and tears trying to break from her eyes. She’ll keep my secret. For the love she had for my mother, she will keep my secret, until death.

I find myself stripping down to my underdress and flopping on my bed. I stare up at my ceiling, one hand on my small belly. This castle has never seemed so quiet before. I used to enjoy my quiet moments alone, but now they only lead to thoughts of sadness. Thoughts of a future I have little control over and a life growing inside me that will bring even more reckoning into my life.

I want my baby, but if I keep my baby, the love of my life will die and my will to live with it. Locked up as a prize breeding mare, pumping out the next royal snotty nosed brat.

But having this child wouldn’t feel like that. This child I could love with my whole heart and see grow into a kind, strong ruler. This child would prove that good can come from choice and that love is what a country should be built on, not money or status. Why does anyone have to die.

Having enough of my tumbling thoughts, I leap up from my bed and head to my writing desk, I gather what supplies I need and head back towards my bed. Propping myself up on a few pillows, I sit back and start writing.

I pour my heart out onto the pages. Words have never flowed so well from my pen. I write a letter to my future child. All my thoughts and feelings. How I met their father and how we came to love each other. How I found out I was going to have them, and the difficult decision I now have to make. I didn’t care that the child may not live long enough to read this, but I will have this to look back on, and think of a time when I was happy, and know that happiness does exist and did exist for me at one time.

My door clatters slightly and Natsu slips in. He is full of the sweat from a long days work, and his hair is disheveled as if he had been running his hand through it all day.

A look of concern is written all over is face and all I want to do is hug him tight.

He catches my eye and gives me a small smile before slowly walking to sit on the side of my bed. I quickly begin moving my writing supplies out of the way, I don’t want him to get a glimpse of what has happened before I have a chance to tell him myself.

“Writing me another love letter?” He smirks. An attempt at humour to down play his concern for me.

“Of a sort.” Not exactly a lie. Its a letter to a little being which is made up of half of him, telling them how much I love them. “But you can’t read it. Not yet.”

He nods absentmindedly, clearly tired from a long day of work and from the worrying gnawing at him all day.

“Come sit here.” I say, patting the bed beside me. “You look tired, and we need to talk about things.” He doesn’t respond verbally, but pulls off his shoes and climbs into bed with me, resting his head on my shoulder and linking our hands. My other hand is resting on my belly again. A reassurance to myself that this is all real, and to ground me as I speak our truth.

“Something has happened Natsu. Something unpredictable, and wonderful but very, very dangerous. And I need your help with deciding what we’re going to do.” He looks at me now, questions in his eyes, but still doesn’t speak. He lets me continue, squeezing my hand in reassurance. “Natsu, I- umm. I am currently carrying our child. It is still quite small, but if it is allowed to grow and my father finds out, you will be executed for deflowering me against my will, no matter what I say. As you are not his chosen husband for me, this is a crime, and I will loose you, and they will take our child away from me.” I didn’t know at what point I started crying, but I did, my face beginning to turn red and puffy. Natsu reached up and wiped away a tear with his thumb, cradling my face in his hand before bringing our foreheads together.

“Lucy. This is more than I could of ever imagined to have with ya. To raise a child with you would be my greatest honour in all my life. But this is your decision to make. This child is in your body, and it is your decision first and full most. I will not hate you for whatever you decide. I will fight to my dying breath to keep you safe.”

Another cry burst out of me. “I want to raise this child with you too, but the risks. I can’t loose you. No matter what happens to me, I can’t loose you.”

“Ok. It’s ok. We will go through this together. I will be here every moment. You will not go through this alone.” And he kissed my mouth soft and tenderly, just as my door swung open again.

“Oh, I’m sorry to intrude Luce, I didn’t realise you had company.” Sting stumbled, trying to rein in all the big brother protectiveness he could. “But I thought this was important to tell you. King Rogue is in the country. He will be here within the week”

[dragonwithapenoffire]

My Heart or My People: Chapter 5

(This chapter suggests minor themes of rape, please be careful if you are effected by this)

“Hey, luce. Lucy. Are you feeling ok?” Natsu said shaking me gently awake. I must of fallen straight to sleep after the events of the dress fitting.

“Hey, what time is it?”

“Lucy its 12 o’clock, why are you sleeping so early?”

“Oh. Ok.” I responded rather absentmindedly, finding my eyes beginning to shut again.

“Lucy! Are you feeling ok? I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“Yes, I’m fine. Just a little stressed is all.” Pulling myself up into a sitting position so I don’t drift off again I continue “Natsu, you should see the dress. It’s hideous. The complete lace and tulle mess my father has always imagined for me. Exactly what he wants. Just like everything else.”

“Ugh, gross. Want me to sneak in and burn it before they make ya wear it again?”

“I’m afraid even that won’t even stop this wedding from happening.” I sigh, I taste a hint of metal, like the taste of blood, and wonder when I bit my lip. “And on top of that, I’ve put on weight since the last fitting so the dress doesn’t fit right, so I’m going to look like a fat plum on my wedding day as well”

“Well, more like a pear, with those hips and that small waist of yours Luce” Natsu teases and I playfully shove him so he falls onto his back on the bed.

“Oh I have large hips do I Natsu Dragneel.” I draw out his name and he smirks as I crawl up and straddle him.

“Haha, yes, they’re quite voluptuous” he responds dragging his hand up my thigh.

“Oh what a big word, I didn’t know you knew such a word”

“Turns out that royal tutor of yours you’ve had teaching me has been doing well” he says, as his hand reaches my ass and squeezes it gently.

“I’m glad you have actually been attending the lessons” I say bending my lips down to hover over his, but before our lips can meet I feel something curling in my stomach and up my throat. I find myself leaping off him and rushing to my bathroom. Natsu rushes in behind me at the sound of my retching, immediately pulling my hair back to stop me from puking on it, and rubbing my back reassuringly. Every time I think it’s stopped, I find my head back in the toilet bowl. Trust me to ruin a moment like that, he probably thinks this is so gross.

When it finally subsides, I turn around to see the concerned look marking his face, but he doesn’t give me time to comment as he immediately lifts me up into his arms and carries me to my bed, before disappearing out of the room. A few minutes later, he returns with Aquarius in tow, the same concerned face now marks hers as well.

“Thank you for getting me Natsu, you may leave now” he starts to protest but she continues, “that was an order. Leave.” And he does.

She walks over to me and perches on the side of my bed, bringing her hand up to my forehead, then my cheeks, then my forehead again. “Yep, no temperature. You’re not ill, either you’re being a dramatic bitch, or you’re in big, big trouble. I knew something was up from this morning”

My eyebrows bunch together in confusion. Her concern looks more like fury now, and for the first time, I am truly scared of Aquarius. “How could you be so stupid! Do you not know how important this wedding is for our country! No, you’ve decided to be selfish and have a bit of fun before you are married and look where it’s lead you! You stupid, stupid girl!”

I feel the colour drain from my face and tears well in my eyes. She has never talked so sternly or reprimanded me so harshly before. I am so, so confused. I just wanted to be loved and to be in love, what could be so wrong with that. I know I have duties but I will still go through with them. She can’t really be mad at me for stressing out about the wedding? Isn’t every bride stressed about their wedding day? Even those who have a choice who their husband is.

“Aquarius, please I am so confused, I am just a little stressed, theres no need to be so angry.”

“Oh, you’re far more than just stressed girl. You barely know the meaning of the word.”

“What do you mean? Just because i am a princess does not mean I have never been stressed before, I know what it’s like!”

Aquarius just shakes her head, fury still obvious on her face. “Come with me right now, and don’t draw unnecessary attention to yourself” she grabs me by the wrist and pulls me out of the door. Natsu is on the other side, he’d obviously been eavesdropping. I look to Aquarius, she has now put on a face that seems calm, but I can see her bubbling below the surface.

“Where are you taking Lucy?”

“None of your business boy, go back to your work.” She says in a dismissive tone, pulling me down the corridor.

“If you’re taking her somewhere, I want to go too. I don’t want to leave her side when she’s ill.”

“No! Under no uncertain circumstances will you follow us, do you understand me. If you follow us, you will die.” I thought her threat was a little harsh, but her tone spooked him enough that with apologetic eyes at me, he turned around and walked off.

“That was a little uncalled for. You can trust him, he’s not a bad person just because he isn’t rich and royal.”

She ignores me, and in silence she leads me down the corridor in no clear direction.

Too many minutes later, she shoves me through a door and shuts it behind her.

“Oh hello Princess, it has been a while since I have seen you” a woman with long pink hair tied in a bun bows. I recognise her, I think her name is Polyusca. The castle healer. I look to Aquarius in shock, surely I am not that ill that I require a healer, but could this be what Aquarius meant that I have ruined the wedding? Could I be so ill that it cannot go through? I shouldn’t feel slight joy at that fact. I instantly feel regretful for ever thinking that and the nausea starts nibbling at me again.

“Get this girl a bucket or a bowl right now.” Aquarius demands and a blue haired apprentices gets it to me just in time as I fill it.

“What is about to be talked about in this room, must not leave this room, and if I find out it has, I know who’s head to demand in a basket do you understand me.” All the healers nod, pale faced. I didn’t know Aquarius held this much respect in the castle, sure she is the head of the servants and looks after them all, but I’ve never taken her threats seriously. There’s no way my father can trust her that much that she can hold that much power in his castle. “Our Princess is feeling a bit under the weather, as you can see, but I fear it is something far more serious than just a stomach bug. I request a urine test to confirm her symptoms, but with everything that has been going on recently, I would be very surprised if it is not what I think it is.” My head is swimming with Aquarius’s every word, trying to piece together what she is proposing is wrong with me. ‘Serious, everything that has been going on.’ I audibly gasp, and one of the healers looks at me quizzically. Could I be poisoned? Am I going to- before i can finish the thought I am guided into an adjacent room. I do as they say and after they have everything they need, I am left to stew alone.

I am sat on a low bed near a window that overlooks a small pond. As I watch, a little green frog bounces towards the water’s edge before disappearing underneath a lotus flower into the murky water below, narrowly missing being caught in the talons of a hungry bird. The bird caws in anguish at it’s lost lunch, and returns to circling in the sky. I see myself in that little frog and hope I am just as lucky.

Polyusca and Aquarius come through the door. Aquarius’s lips are in a tight line and a shadow is cast on her face when she stops near me. The energy is low, and the suspension is grinding on me.

The healers face is a mask. She has been trained to deliver news from joyful to life-altering with no emotion, so I cannot glean any hint from her as of the nature of the results.

We stay in silence for many moments more before Polyusca finally speaks up. “Princess Lucy. I have done all the tests required to find out the cause of your current condition, and have come to the medical conclusion that you are in fact with child. How this came about before you are to be wed is distressing to think about and I can only offer my condolences to you for how you must of suffered at the hands of the man who did this to you against your will. If you will tell me the names of any men who have touched you in a lustful manner, I will be sure to report them to the king so you can get the justice you deserve.” My mouth is on the floor and all words are stripped from me. Her words rattle through my skull and a headache starts to form as soon as I start to think about it. “I understand this will be painful for you to recount, so I will leave you alone with your Lady Aquarius to process everything before I return.” With that, she gives a short bow and is out of the room. I am about to ask Aquarius to explain everything to me but before I can say anything, she cuts me off.

“Don’t look so shocked girl, you brought this upon yourself. Fraternising with a man you are not married to only leads to this. What else are they supposed to think. You are their Princess, you are not supposed to make any mistakes.” Her words hit me. Hard. Ripping me from my tumbling thoughts. As if loving Natsu could ever be a mistake.

“Well that is unrealistic. Everyone makes mistakes.” I bite back, but there is no force behind the words. I feel myself breaking apart underneath. It’s like Polyusca just threw a plate at me. ‘With child’. I’m pregnant. I am pregnant with mine and Natsu’s child, but they think he raped me. Fate has a way of giving you exactly what you want in the most cruel way possible. I don’t want justice, I want to celebrate but everyone else wants him killed. Is that why Aquarius didn’t let him come with us? Was she protecting him in her roundabout way? I look to Aquarius then and there is nothing but grief on her face. Grief because she knows what the King is going to do when he finds out. No matter if he’s my father. He does not take well to being disrespected. And lying with the man I love is the most disrespectful thing I have ever done

[dragonwithapenoffire]

Next chapter should be posted in the next hour hopefully!!!

[dragonwithapenoffire]

My Heart or My People: Chapter 4

Natsu and I’s rendezvous continued in the weeks that followed. Each more secretive and deadly than the last. While most of our meetings happened at night, we would change the time of our meetings often, in order to prevent a pattern being formed in anyone's spying eyes.

I’m not going to lie, it was a dream. Waking up in his arms, was a pleasure I never let myself think about before, but now it was my reality, it was getting harder and harder knowing that this wasn’t for forever. And the eyes that I’ll wake up to in a few short weeks, will not be his.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Natsu yawned, stretching his body like a cat.

“No, nothing’s wrong” I lied, suddenly finding the pattern of the quilt far more interesting than his face.

“Luce, I know you better than that. You can tell me” he said, intertwining our fingers and kissing the top of our clasped hands to reassure me.

After a few silent moments I said “I-I, its just so hard, I don’t want this to end, but I know it has to one day, and I just really don’t want that” tears exploded fiercely down my face, making my cheeks red, “I just love you so, so much, I don’t ever want to loose you. Why can't something happen, something to change my father's mind, so I can marry you instead? "

His hand found my cheek and wiped away a tear. “Lucy, look at me. We’ll work it out ok. We’ll find a way, even if I have to steal ya away in the night like a dragon” A small smile from me. “So don’t ya worry about it. Your mine. And now I’m not going to let ya go”

Heat bloomed in my chest at his words and I found myself leaning in and kissing him. The kiss was slow, and purposeful and claiming. Our tongues meeting in the middle. I grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him on top of me as I laid down. Without so much of a hesitation, he moved with me, one hand perched by my head, the other still on my face. That hand moved down my body, hitching up my night dress until he rested it on my hip. His hand was cool on my skin and I began to ache between my legs when-

“Princess Lucy, get out of - oh my. Oh get off of her boy, you’ve had plenty of that all night”.  

“Aquarius, I-I, please don’t tell anyone” I pleaded pushing Natsu off of me. Aquarius gave me a judgemental look, before sighing,

“Surprisingly I don’t want your head on pike, but I will, if you don’t get yourself cleaned up and dressed. You have your second fitting.” Dread coiled in my gut and nausea riled up my throat, as Aquarius turned on a heel and walked out.

                                                         •••

“I am so sorry Princess, I must of made a mistake with the measurements last time, the dress is a bit too snug around your middle.”

“Nonsense. You’ve made no such mistake. Our princess here has been spending far too much time distracted on other things than on her health recently.” Aquarius chided giving me a knowing glare. I swallowed a lump in my throat and looked down at the ill-fitting dress. It was a cacophony of lace and satin, with huge puffy sleeves that were like clouds that met a tight decorative bodice, that was somehow too tight to tie at the back. The skirt reminded me of a dining table, and only because it was big enough in circumference to sit a family of six. It was split into three separate panels; the outside panels were a plain white satin, while the middle panel was decorated flamboyantly in lace and jewels. 

Most girls would dream of a dress like this on their wedding day, me on the other hand despised it and what it meant for my future. Under the extravagant fabrics was an invisible manacle that will be chained to a stranger the moment I say I do. I might as well go up the aisle in prison rags.

“I’m probably just bloated after my breakfast this morning, I’m sure it will fit on the day.” I sighed, giving the seamstress a small smile. She gave me an unsure smile back, and biting her lip went behind me.

“If I add an extra panel here,” she addressed to Aquarius, pointing to the back to the bodice, “the dress should fit no problem if such issues arise on the day.” Aquarius nodded in agreement and that seemed to be enough to appease her.

“Ok, lets get you out of this dress before you rip it” I stuck my tongue out at Aquarius and the seamstress tried to hide a laugh.

As I stepped out of the gown, I was struck again with a sudden rise of nausea. It coiled around my throat and I had to place a hand on my mouth to stop from throwing up. Oh great, the dress is so awful I was going to empty my stomach because of it, or the stress for the wedding was most likely causing this. I swallowed it back and regained by composure but Aquarius noticed everything. She eyed me in a way she never had before and I wanted to run and hide.

“I think I’m going to go lie down for a bit” I said, before wrapping myself in a dressing gown, and leaving the room as fast as I could.

[dragonwithapenoffire]

My Heart or My People: Chapter 3

I wake up with a start, gasping in as much air as possible. There is a dim light coming from the windows and a figure sat with his head in his hands at the end of my bed. I shuffle away from him when,

“Lucy! You’re awake, finally, i was so worried” he said as he stood up and walked to my bed stand, filling a cup with water, “here take this.”

Numbly I reach out and Sting helps me clasp the glass in my shaking hands. Slowly, I move the glass to my lips and take a sip. Icy cool water slips down my dry throat, and I sigh with pleasure. “How long have I been out?”

“About two hours. I couldn’t leave you on the floor so I carried you to the bed. What do you think you were doing fainting on me like that? Have you been eating ok? All I wanted was to tease you, not give you a panic attack.”

“I’ve been eating fine Sting.” The tone not as harsh as I would of hoped, “you didn’t have to be so menacing.”

“You should know me better by now sister,” he smirked, “so are you going to answer my question?”

At my vacant expression he continued “why are you visiting that servant? Lucy, you’re getting married. To a king. You are real lucky it was me who was here and not our father otherwise you’d be in a prison cell by now, and your little friend would be in an unmarked grave.”

The truth in his words caused tears to slip silently from my eyes and before I knew it, I was red faced and pulled into the crook between his neck and shoulder.

We sat there for I don’t know how long, him rubbing my back in soothing circles each time my cries got a bit harder, my thoughts too suffocating.

Between sobs I said, “ I love him Sting. I always have. And now... and now i have to marry someone else, and i know king rogue is meant to be nice but i hate him for it! I really do, because somehow, somehow i kept up hope that somehow i could be aloud to love Natsu and if only for a little while, i want to love him, even if it’s dangerous.” My tears got loader, drowning out any more words i spoke, and Sting just sat there, listening to me ramble well into the morning.

•••

“How important is it for Lucy to marry King Rogue? What kind of state is our country in for you to need to marry off your only daughter so quickly to a foreign king.”

“I have my reasons. You have seen first hand on your travels how poverty ransacks our country, this marriage will improve that”

“Poverty has never bothered you before.”

“We need the money for our country. And the strength and supplies that will come with that”

“Father, you sound like you are talking of war.”

The king struggled to speak, to speak the truth he himself was denying. “War is upon us.” The king said weakly, not being able to look the prince in the eye.

“Who? I will go and-“

“Someone who will not be reasoned with.” Said the king, taking a sip of water from his glass.

“Then let me marry. But don’t put Lucy through this.”

The glass slammed to the table, “I have already promised King Rogue the offer of marriage-“

“Then let me marry king Rogue. Let me take this sacrifice, if only so Lucy can marry whoever she wants”

“Don’t be so preposterous!” The king spluttered. “King Rogue has no siblings. No family. He needs heirs. Something you cannot provide him!”

“There must be a way father. Please.” The Prince begged between tears, and the sound of the prince and the king arguing, shock the castle for several hours more.

•••

When i awoke, Sting was no longer in my chamber, he was probably off in the bed of one of the many servants he is especially close with. Being gone for so long, i don’t blame him.

I bathed and dressed, washing away any of the sadness left from yesterday, before setting up camp on one of my windowsills with a book, counting down the hours.

As the sun began to set again, i put on a cloak and snuck out of my rooms into the gardens, the setting sun providing enough light for me to see, but also enough so that my identity would still be hidden. I walked towards the middle of the maze, the grassy hedges again hiding me from castle eyes.

He looked like he had been here a while. He was pacing and his pink hair stood up from his head as if he had been running a hand through it. I cant describe the relief i felt when i saw him standing there. My heart began to beat quickly in my chest.

“Hi.”

He looked towards me, his face searching mine for an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked. He seemed as relieved as me to see me here.

“Hey Luce,” he said, a weight visibly lifting from his shoulders.

I took a step towards him. “First of all, i want to say I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting.”

“You don’t need to apologise to me Luce-“

“No. I do. I should of been more honest with my feelings from the start. About everything.” I swallowed, “I love you Natsu. I think i always have, from the moment I first met you. And i have spent the last few years wondering if you could ever feel the same way to someone who is surely promised to another. And now I am getting married, and quite honestly I don’t care about any of that now. I just want to spend however long i have left of my freedom, with the only person i have ever loved, if that person would be willing.”

I didn’t think Natsu was breathing. In my letter i had confessed my love to him, if only to be selfish for this short time, and had said that if he felt the same way, he should meet me here, in the maze, after sunset. And when I saw him here, i felt like i was going to explode.

“Luce, I-“ a tear found its way down his cheek, “I love you too.” Another tear. “I never thought you could love me. I never thought it could ever be possible to be with you, and when you said you were getting married, i-i broke inside Luce. My worst thoughts were coming true. And now you’re saying all this and- and the stars damn me but i want it. I want you Luce.”

We were both now crying. I took another step towards him, my eyes catching on his lips. He was right there, i could kiss him. If i was brave enough i would just kiss him. His hand found its way to my cheek to wipe a tear and then suddenly his lips were on mine. I don’t know if it was me or him who did it, but I didn’t care. His lips were so soft, and gentle, and warm. All i could focus on was our lips embracing each other that I forgot where my hands were. He opened his mouth slightly and he tasted of home. His tongue gently grazed mine and i took a deep breath. This is what i want.

We finally broke apart and just stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. Words were useless in a moment like this.

“I should probably head back before someone notices I’m missing.” I finally said, taking a step back.

“Yea. Yea that would be good” he was just as lost in the moment as i was. I started walking away when he grabbed me into a hug, his scent filling my nose. He gave me a quick kiss on the head before disappearing into the night.

[dragonwithapenoffire]

My Heart or My people: Chapter 2:

Note: So, I wasnt happy with the last chapter so I rewrote it. I hope you enjoy!

It has been a week since I told Natsu about my engagement and I have been avoiding him like the wimp I am. Every. Day. Since.

The meal with my father the following evening went as expected. He rambled on for two hours about how much this marriage will benefit our country and how lovely King Rogue is. And all I was doing was contemplating if slamming my head onto the plate would be an easier way out. This continued until my father excused himself stating something about “lots of paperwork” and “not much time til the wedding”.

A few days later, I was out on a walk when I spotted Natsu going about his work. We made eye contact for several moments before I threw myself into a bush to avoid talking to him. Not one of my finest moments I have to admit. And now i have a huge stain and a rip I can’t explain to Aquarius.

And now, here I am bored stupid in my chamber because i refuse to talk to the only person in this castle that brings excitement into my life!

“I need to get out!” i say standing quickly while swinging my gaze to the door where an envelope is on the floor. All my blood starts rushing to my head and i start feeling dizzy but master myself enough to cautiously walk over to it. It had been sealed with red wax, with an ‘N’ stamped into it. Natsu! I rip open the envelope, a headache now firmly thumping inside my skull. The letter was poorly written and I made a mental note to get one of my old tutors to go over basic language with him.

Dear Luce,

You’ve been acting real weird lately, like more than usual and I’m worried. Have i done something wrong?

If i have, i get it if ya don’t want to see my face, but can ya write me a letter and tell me what I’ve done so i can say sorry. I feel really bad and I’m really sorry.

A really sorry,

Natsu.

I feel terrible. I sit in silence just staring at the wall for far too long, hearing the clock tick to the same rhythm as my head thumps. I am such a horrible friend. I raise my hands to my temples and rub in soothing circles. What shall i do. This is the only man I’ve ever loved, and probably ever will and I cant even bare to see him at the thought he doesn’t feel the same way. And I’m getting married to a different man! So it doesn’t matter anyway! Ugh life is so hard, and my future doesn’t look much better, unless-. I rush to my desk, grabbing paper and ink. Life can’t get much worse than this anyway.

•••

The letter was messy and took about an hour before i was happy with the final copy, and the sun had firmly set, but it felt like such a relief had been lifted from me. Yes. This would be enough.

The walk to his room was quiet and I didn’t encounter anyone. Not even a servant, thank the stars. That would not have gone down well with my father if I was seen walking to a mans room past sunset, before I am to be wed.

I take a deep breath, looking down at the envelope in my hand. I used my favourite pink paper set, and even the dried wax seal with my initial on it is a mix between a pink and a dark red. Crimson.

I trace my finger around the edge of the wax, the movement somehow calming my nerves.

You can do this Lucy.

I kneel down outside the door. The many layers of my dress providing a supportive cushion.

I couldn’t stop myself as I lifted a hand and placed it on the smooth wooden surface in front of me.

Another breath.

Somehow touching this makes me feel closer to him in a way i can never be. If i could hug this door i would.

I finally bring up the courage and quickly slide the letter underneath, the sound a satisfying tssss. I didn’t have time to reconsider my decision before i found myself running back to my room, almost tripping over my dress, at the sound of a groan of a bed from inside.

•••

When I get back to my room, the air is thick with the tangy smell of fresh ink.

“This was right wasn’t it.” I say to myself, ambling over to pack the ink and paper away. “I made the right decision.”

“Well, if that decision was to marry King Rogue, I’d say yes, I’ve heard he’s very handsome, but it’s not as if you have got much choice in that matter.” A deep, raspy voice remarked from the shadows. I almost jumped out of my skin, but my heart began to slow when I realised who it was.

“Sting! What are you doing in my room!”

“Oh. No ‘Sting, my darling brother, you are back, I have missed you so much, how was your trip?”

My brother Sting had been away for the past month, attending political conferences and trying to improve relations with countries my father couldn’t sell me off to.

“Hah. You couldn’t of waited until the morning, instead of scaring me shitless by hiding in the shadows?”

“What can i say? I find the shadows oddly comforting. And I did knock, but when you did not answer I helped myself in. So, is my sister going to tell me why she is writing notes and disappearing at odd hours in the night. Or will I have to take a wild guess and say it has something to do with a certain pink haired stable hand.”

I could hear my heart thump in chest. How did he know? At the look of shock that must of registered on my face he said “What can I say, servants talk, and you really need to do a better job at covering up your tracks. Your perfectionism will be your downfall”

That’s when I notice the scrunched up piece of paper in his hand. One of the copies of the letter I wasn’t happy with. I swear I feel my heart stop in my chest. The already dark room starts constricting around me. Air stops filling my lungs. And I surrender to the shadows.