#faiza answers

[taikanyohou]

"nothing is hitting" but it literally had no plot 😭😭😭😭😭

i get it. yall really hate my personal weatherman that much and think its that irrelevant ....

yet it bothers you to that extent when i talk about how much i miss it on my blog and want to see my boys back that yall have to come into my inbox just to validate yourselves by being bitter over a small little show.

[theworldinclines]

alexa r u ok r u breathing r u functioning r u still sane TELL ME.

short answer, no. longer answer, i have never been less sane or functional in my life 😁 it took 3 yrs babey but our shit's been rocked! praise be!

[artbyeloquent]

Hi!

How did Faiza get into her specialization of religious and medieval texts? Is it related in any way to how she got her veilsight?

Faiza is unabashedly partially a self-insert character of who I'd be if I decided to stay in academia. The golden age of Spain, where Jews and Muslims had a gigantic impact on Castillian culture, art, poetry, and architecture has always been one of my favorites of history.

To actually answer your question, while I won't reveal the exact circumstances yet, Faiza did obtain her Veilsight later in life, while she was already studying to be an academic. She's one of those cases where she struggled against the inclination to incorporate it into her work--not all those with Veilsight do! But eventually she had to incorporate it into her passions, so her thesis ended up being on folkloric depictions of the supernatural in that era. Way to multitask!

Something I will not be exploring in HtDO is in this world, there are absolutely multiple frameworks to conceptualize the supernatural. What Rimon may call a dybbuk or a sheyd, Faiza may know in her culture as a jinn. This is going to be a long enough book already without touching on how Intermediaries work in the different cultures, but I do want to be absolutely clear that part of Faiza's role is to hint at that larger complexity in the world. This is a Jewish-centered story, but the presence of the supernatural doesn't immediately indicate who is "right," and each religion approaches it differently.

[itsallaboutzayn]

1, 47 and 50! Happy New Year, my love!!!! 🧡🧡🧡

FAIZA DARLING HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO 🧡🧡

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1- What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to? - oh you had to start with this one didn't you?? but only 3?? you already know my list is HUGE... let me see... well cause of you, "why you, y me" 😂, "together with me" and "vincenzo". i guess i'll say these three (that are already over cause there's other still coming out that i wanna watch too 🤷‍♀️😂)

47 - Do you like to go on walks? - i do yes, when the weather is nice of course hahah

50 - Describe your perfect sleeping conditions - warm and comfortable (on winter) and fresh and still comfortable (on summer) 😅

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50 Questions Just Because

[reborn-illusion]

re: build bleeding out, yeah its not in a bts. they both mention and talk about it in this thread here for a magazine interview they had to do. but yeah. build was talking about how clumsy he is and how he dropped the knife whilst shooting a scene he had to do (which is this one) onto his foot and he was bleeding out, but the cameras kept rolling since the emotion was so loaded and right there they didnt wanna break it. so yeah! and whenever bible refers in interviews how they lost a lot of blood and sweat, this is most probably what he means by the blood part.

ohhhh, thank you so much for the explanation and the link to the thread!! it was a prop knife and Build still managed to cut himself!? Bless him! Honestly, it seems not a day goes by where I don't learn more about Bible and Build that just makes me more in awe of them! The dedication they put into their performances is unmatched!!!

[avengerphobic]

29, 31, 32?

29. Already answered

31. What book made you like a character you didn’t care about?

So I dont care about the young avengers, I actively dislike most of them but new avengers did make me kinda like billy and teddy

32. Which character has the coolest powers?

Faiza!!! UGH her powers are so cool and they work so well visually

[taikanyohou]

what websites do you use to watch Asian dramas?

hiiii anon!!!

mostly, kisskh. it will almost mostly have everything that i am watching, is super efficient as a website and uploads the episodes the fastest out of any website i've used ever (their countdown function is really great for it!). if it doesn't i sometimes download the show fron mkvdrama and watch it as it comes with soft subs! bilibili is also really good! and i use kissasian as my last resort.

[taikanyohou]

Hey Faiza. Thanks to you I started watching His Man 2 on IQIYI. I was wondering where are you getting all this extra content of the boys? Is it just the boys instas? Or is it YouTube? If yes may I have a list please 😭😭

hiiiii anon!!!

aaaah i hope you're liking it in the same way we all did!!!

okay so extra content wise we have:

His Man 2's official YouTube Channel.

His Man 2's official Instagram Page.

His Man 2's official Twitter/X Page.

The Cast's Instagrams: Junsung, Sungho, Jungwook, Yoonghee, Minsung, Hyungjoon, Hyungjin and Seunwoo.

The Cast's Twitters/X: Yoonghee, Hyungjoon, Minsung and Jungwook.

Some of the cast have official YouTube channels too: Hyungjoon, Jungwook, Yoonghee, Minsung and Sungho.

[taikanyohou]

why did u like it so much? i reaaaally can't see it.

hiiii anon!!!

why do i, along with so many others, like taikan yohou so much? maybe bc its given us everything we wanna see in a show in the most authentic way possible where you can Literally see the progress happening episode by episode, but even by the end, segasaki and yoh are still segasaki and yoh by their very nature. its just that throughout the journey within the show, they grow, and we as an audience get to see their origins - BOTH of their origins bc both their points of views equally matter in the switch up of their narrative voices - and we get to learn why as 2 individuals they are who they are and why that causes so many hinderances between them. yet by the end, they manage to be able to express what they feel, whilst STILL being true to who they are as individuals. there is no fix it or cure or a 180 change in who they are as people. segasaki is still blunt and brutally honest, whilst yoh is still hesitant and quiet. but segasaki uses words and actions and is able to be a lot more vulnerable in front of yoh where he shows how tired and scared he is of losing yoh, and yoh is alot more braver in speaking up and speaking his mind. but it works. its exactly the way it should be and it fits for the intense vibe and atmosphere that taikan yohou exclusively has always had and has always been about. where every scene and every second counts and is there for a reason. where the drama isnt something that feels uselessly done for the sake of it. its drama that happens solely bc they as people are not perfect and they acknowledge that and yet they still try to resolve their issues despite their shortcomings. and yet!!! they still remain true to who they are!!!!!! everything has a place and a value and a meaning in this show. its literally as simple and as complicated as that.

[taikanyohou]

I've been wondering, and this isn't something you necessarily have to answer, I'm just thinking in your direction because vegaspete. But I've been thinking, when exactly does vegas realize that he wants pete? That he WANTS wants him? Because this starts out in a place of maybe curiosity, but ultimately as humiliation and as taking control from pete against his will and the thrill that comes from that and from pete's reactions to that.

I'd say the conversation about their fathers was a pivotal moment, and it is, but at this point he's already taken care of pete in a panic when he could have just let him die. Would have been the easier way, and I wonder, if it had been tawan in pete's stead, would he have saved him? Then again, tawan was of some use to him and once he ceased to be useful, he disposed of him without remorse. Probably not vegas' first boytoy to meet that end after blindly having played their part, either.

Which begs the question, of what use was pete? Could he have killed him, as per his father's wishes, if he hadn't already tortured him and found him to be curiously interesting? Or did it start before that? Was pete's reaction an essential piece of the puzzle but not the first piece? How consciously has he been collecting these pieces or did they just accumulate and then fully start clicking into place when pete refuses to be intimidated by him?

Is Pete's sole use that vegas needs to explore that curiosity? That he just gets a kick out of it? But when does he start caring? Because his reaction to pete hanging unresponsive and feverish from the ceiling isn't annoyance at having to do something about this, he's genuinely distraught and, in caring for him, for the first time showing genuine gentleness towards pete (thinking about how carefully he dresses the wounds, among other things). Is it because he's starting to care for pete as a person or is it because he can't let another pet die. Or a bit of both mixed together?

When does he go from *forcing myself on you and seeing you squirm is fun* to 'with a guy like you it's no fun if you don't give in'? When does he start needing pete to want him?

I also just really love his mood switch in that scene. Going from his most sensitive (that we know he associates with weakness) to a display of thinking himself back in control: if you want me, do something about it, take it, let yourself go, submit to me; effectively handing the control over to pete. And pete takes it. And not only that, him handing over that rope to bind his hands with is such a mindblowing display of trust amidst that whole dynamic and vegas loves it.

But when does he realize he loves pete? One could argue he makes love to him in that moment (seriously, their sex scene still blows my mind with how reverent and sensual and loving it was and I am constantly torn between trying to watch pete's face and being absolutely captivated by the absolute devotion in vegas' every look and touch and kiss ugh perfection), but when does he know?

Does he know when he looks at pete afterwards? Or when things escalate to a point of him being in real danger of losing pete to a knife that he himself originally put there in mindless anger? Or when the realisation hits that pete is not coming back this time and he's left alone with two plates of food? Or when pete is unable to shoot him and looks at him in agony and cries into his shoulder, knowing that he's responsible for that pain? When does he know? And when does he accept it?

(I'm inclined to say he definitely knows when he's crying after their separation and accepts it during their meeting afterwards at the latest but that's just a guess)

I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore and I kinda got distracted from my initial question of 'when does he want him' which is not the same as 'when does he fall in love with him', but this is just a stream of consciousness anyway, so I'm leaving it at that and letting it bounce around in my head a bit more while simultaneously throwing it at you, I hope you don't mind xD

hiiiiiii anon!!!!!

okay this is a Very Juicy Meta ask. and i'd love to give my pov on it!

i think pete catches vegas' attention pretty early on tbh. this isnt me talking about vegas wanting pete rn just yet. this is me talking about pete catching vegas' attention. now hear me out.

in ep 6, we have the condom sharing scene. ep 7 is where pete spends a bit more time with vegas along with the other bodyguards. and in ep 9, we have the temple scene. by ep 10, vegas has captured pete.

now, its interesting bc i think vegas most definitely knows, not even suspicion, he KNOWS from as early as ep 6, that pete is tailing him. when he gives pete the stuff in the paper bag, he tells him "i know you've been on the lookout for a while". vegas Knows. and its interesting bc even as early on as this scene, vegas gives pete some bread, because "you might get hungry". so food plays a role even as early on as here!! and since vegas knew pete was tailing him, he buys a packet of condoms. now, why? why buy condoms, put them in the bag on PURPOSE when the entire package was meant for pete anyway?

its all intimidation. all of it. and every time vegas has touched pete, up until ep 10, pete's reactions are his classic Go To Dopey Wide Grin and jumping at the touch. but the condoms, and the way vegas says "would you like to share?" is just ... Very Intimidating. he clearly is telling pete here that i Know you're tailing me, and you're Not Even Good at it, and bc you're Not Good at it, and you get caught, and yet you STILL keep tailing me, i'll let you carry on, bc i'm having Fun seeing you squirm and seeing how resolute you are at your job, even though, you know, you Suck at following me (which, oh vegas .......... oh VEGAS ........... how you end up EATING your own words up by the finale when you say "why are you here pete? why did you follow me?")

so yeah. pete catches vegas' eye from very early on. but vegas sees him as harmless at this point, bc pete hasnt ruined anything for him. he hasnt ruined his plans, hasnt come in the way to ruin or fuck up any of his schemes etc.

so they work together in ep 7. and lots of talk between them focuses on hunger and food and vegas being able to provide pete with food whenever he desires it, and to not hold back or be shy in taking what he wants and eating it. and pete is hugely impressed by that. so much so, that food and appetite bleeds into the scene where vegas says "you might wanna look away bc you'll lose your appetite", just before he begins his torture session. of course, every other bodyguard looks away apart from pete, who just stares and stares and stares, his appetite isnt lost, and vegas stares back at pete who he saw was the only one who could stare, who had the stomach to stare, who had the appetite.

so even that catches vegas' attention. that pete didnt flinch or look away when he saw a glimpse of vegas' darkness, whilst everybody else did. he stayed. he looked back. and i think vegas from then on realises that pete isnt all that he lets on that he is ("but you like it, don't you, when i'm like this? everytime i get moody, your eyes tell me that you like it." from ep 12, just before they kiss and have sex, and how WONDERFULLY that parallels to the ep 7 torture scene, where vegas stares back at pete who is staring at him whilst vegas is COVERED in blood, and cant look away from him).

also, not to forget the "looking for something?" scene. vegas CLEARLY checks pete out. his eyes ROAM and SCAN pete's entire body. but even then, vegas doesnt use anything more than just touch to intimidate pete. yes he is in vegas' sight, but he still isnt That Important yet, to do or use anything more than touch to intimidate and co-erce. or rather, he hasnt derailed anything vegas has got going on just yet to make it worthwhile of vegas to use anything more than touch to get his point across to pete.

so then, by ep 9, vegas is still bemused that pete is tailing him. even so far as to here, its still bemusement, bc pete still hasnt hindered anything for vegas yet. now, the temple is A Choice that vegas made to lure pete in with. now, why a temple? only Vegas knows. maybe he DID see how pete bowed in ep 7, and saved that bit of info for later use. but. i think. and this is my fucked up side coming out: but vegas uses the contrast of a place so holy like the temple, and gropes pete, an act of sexual misconduct and harrassment, 2 such polar opposite concepts, to TRULY fuck with pete. thats ALSO a darkness vegas is letting pete see into, that this is how shameless he is, that in a temple, a place of worship and Godliness or holiness and purity and sanctity, vegas is thinking about the lewd, the impure, the filthy, about sex. its such A Choice, such a Vegas thing to do, and its pure intimidation, just like the ep 6 condom scene. like, he may know that pete has some inclination towards religion, and vegas himself does too, but honestly, the idea of using the juxtaposition of sexual misconduct in a temple? is so Vegas. to get his point across. and he did. he sent pete into a trance. he GOT INSIDE pete's head, even if it was for a short while.

which then takes us to ep 10! and NOW. NOW is where pete has finally done some Proper Damage to vegas. has caused a hindrance. has made his entire little mastermind plan result into something futile. and this is where vegas SEES pete as someone who is Good at his job. finally!. even though he got caught. he managed to finally make his mark. now, up until this point, vegas has seen how resilient and resolute pete is, how he has an appetite for vegas' darkness. vegas knows all of this. so now, its finally time for vegas to really just ... unleash himself entirely onto pete, no holdbacks, and see if pete can withstand that. which he did. and that REALLY fucks with vegas. because yes, physically, he maybe the one in control, but emotionally, its pete who is in control. its pete's reactions, his smiles, how he simply DOES NOT LET UP, that causes vegas to spiral.

and vegas tries so HARD to break pete. torture, touch, threats, violence, and pete withstands it all. even when he's speaking to his grandma, and he screams at vegas after it, saying "are you happy now?". like. here, vegas thinks he finally cracked pete. even when he points the gun his dad gave to him to kill pete with and he says he wont kill him because he likes to see him suffer, likes to be with him because its fun, sees him as a pet that will keep him company at the safehouse bc he doesnt wanna go alone - which is funny, bc he was gonna go with his hegdehog, so he wasnt alone!, but, alas! even tho vegas called pete a pet here, he gave him some humanity, by saying he doesnt want to be alone. bc being with an animal who is a pet, and a human who is a pet, are 2 very different things. animals dont talk back, dont bite back, dont laugh back in complete mockery with an intent to goad, not in the way humans do, not in the way pete does.

and i think that bleeeeds into the rest of ep 11, in particular where he is forcing pete to eat and when he spots pete completely out of it and panics. you cant force an animal to eat, not in the way you can with a human, like vegas did with pete. vegas at this point needs/wants pete to stay alive. bc yeah, surface level, its all very entertaining to him, where he loves how defiant pete is to him and gets a kick out of punishing him for his disobedience. and i think a huge part of that lies with the fact that vegas doesnt want to be alone. and with pete, he isnt alone, despite calling him his pet. he isnt alone with pete, in the way he would be had it only been him and his hedgehog.

that is fundamentally the use of pete in ep 11, just before he's unconscious. he's there for vegas for emotional projection, as a fun little pet, a toy, a puppet on strings, all tied up, doing what vegas wants him to do, so that he doesnt feel alone. and pete's constant defiance of him is that one trait that is THE DIFFERENCE between vegas treating him as a human compared to an animal - the scenes where vegas feeds his hedgehog and then looks at pete who hasnt ate IS the example of that. that he gives them both food to eat. the hedgehog doesnt refuse it. pete DOES. thats what makes him human. and that defiance to him: a) makes pete crawl under vegas' skin even more, b) makes vegas wanna eliminate that feeling bc he is the one who should be in power and control here. thats what pete's use and purpose is. so far.

and then he falls unconscious. and nononononononononononono NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOO NO NO. NO. THAT was not meant to happen. bc that scare alone is enough of a reason to remind vegas why he didnt kill pete in the 1st place: because he doesnt wanna be alone. pete's defiance, the only trait that's so far made him as human as possible to vegas, GIVES vegas something to be accompanied with. but then again, he is his pet. he has a duty of care. see if vegas didnt give 2 shits about pete, why would he even BOTHER giving him food?? he could just let him die. so easily. but vegas DOESNT want to be alone, which means he needs to keep pete alive, just like his hedgehog. he needs to take care of pete, just like his hedgehog. and so if pete is unwell, or sick, he will panic, he will need to take care of him, bc pete IS his responsibility to bear. vegas CHOSE to keep pete alive, so he now has to bear the responsibilty. ("are you very hungry? can someone else take you to eat?" "you dare push me away? you dare push me away, vegas? and why the hell did you tell me that you wanted to be with me? i'm your pet, aren't i?")

only now, there's an added layer. bc pete isnt just a pet. hes a human. a human UNDER HIS RESPONSIBILITY. vegas has killed before, he's gotten blood on his hands before, what does HE care about that? god, he shot tawan and he didnt give a SHIT, and this was the man he was gonna marry! and yet pete? pete's entire survival at this point relies solely on vegas ("and i'm hungry now. and you walked out. so i had to come find my owner!!!!"). THATS the difference. and if he ends up killing pete, that is a WHOLE DIFFERENT type of blood on his hands. hence why he mourned his hedgehog with so much sadness and grief - he didnt even shed a tear for tawan!

and if that wasnt emotionally charging enough, then as soon as pete regains consciousness, they talk about their dads. fuck, not even THAT, pete continues to be defiant and wont accept the medication. that ONCE AGAIN reminds vegas that pete is human. and this time, he's so gentle in telling pete that his wounds are inflamed, he needs to take them. he reasons with pete. REASONS. he lets pete be human here and treats him humanly in return. and then pete asks HIM what happened to him, when pete 2 seconds ago was half dead. and i think its just .... the jumping from wall to wall and the paradox of it all, just takes vegas by surprise a little. that how does pete SEE it? how does he SEE it? and, well, pete's already put 2 and 2 together ever since he saw vegas' dad abuse him at the start of ep 11, and knows his dad is an abuser. and its the conversation that is a turning point. its where they connect on a human level: that, oh, he and i have been through the same thing, as humans. not as a pet and owner, but as humans. the other side of his coin - though it doesnt hit him just yet. that comes when he says "i know you're suffering inside." that comes when he says "at first, i thought i was a freak, until now."

so when does the attraction, to want pete on a HUMAN level, come in? to need pete to want him come in? i'd say that last scene of ep 11, the "i havent poisoned your noodles!! eat them so that if you still hate me you'll atleast have the energy to kill me later!". is the start of it. here, again, vegas speaks to pete humanly. he offers food to pete humanly. thats not to say there still arent undertones of him treating pete like a pet animal here: he knows pete is healing, and just like how you'd treat a sick pet animal with TLC, thats what he does to pete here too. but the line blurs a little. bc pete once again SEES the bruises on vegas' face and asks about them. and they connect again on a human level. and vegas feels a little bit more better about himself after what pete told him about how the abuse isnt his fault. so he cooks for pete, hot steaming noodles. maybe its him returning the favour. maybe its just a bit of TLC bc pete is sick. maybe its just him starting to treat pete more like a human. and maybe its a bit of strange bemusement how pete manages to just ...... be the way he is, whilst being in the circumstances he is. he asks vegas to kill him, but doesnt want to be poisoned. he talks to himself, whilst knowing vegas can hear everything. and vegas just ... softly smiles at the HUMANITY that pete displays.

and it becomes even more real when they talk about blood types. bc. oh. THATS human. and vegas WANTS to know pete's blood type. THATS human. and what pete's blood type means. THATS human. and pete does the EXACT same. pete shows AN INTEREST in vegas. human human human. and its all going SO WELL, and vegas is enjoying it so much, the smirks, the eye rolls, the interest. and then he gets called sensitive, and how he needs love.

but everything he's ever loved has always ended up leaving him, causing pain and grief and loneliness and a sense of mourning in its aftermath.

so Fuck That. and he kicks the book away. and pete realises that theres .... a Lot to work with here. that love is an extremely touchy subject.

and i think its. something i havent seen spoken about. but only whilst im answering this ask that ive come to realise. what a CLEVER and downright Fucking MINDBLOWING parallel it is that, as one pet (pete) starts to heal because he is allowed to be human, the health of the other pet (the hedgehog) begins to deteriorate, until the hedgehog himself ends up dying bc it can no longer bear it anymore. and isnt that EXACTLY what ep 13 was? as soon as pete was in the chains again, was made to feel like a pet (animal) again, everything went downhill, pete's entire mental state, his self worth, his process of self-realisation collapsed, bc he was no longer human anymore, so much so, that he couldnt bear it anymore, because, you know why? it felt FUCKING INCREDIBLE to be human with vegas. THATS all that pete didnt know he needed until he had it. and to go from THAT, so fundamentally and primally and carnally human, to being a pet again? god. the mental toll and whiplash of it all, the earth shattering numbing feeling of it all. for it to be snatched. and it hurts to the point where pete would rather die, kill himself, because he isnt human, just a pet again.

and so i think. when does vegas realise he wants pete to need him? would be when he realises pete stayed, despite having the chance to run. its one thing pete stayed, but that could be completely out of sympathy, something we Know vegas LOATHES (from ep 14 and korn treating him and macau like charity). no. if pete stays, and vegas tells him he wants him, sexually and intimately, then pete BETTER want him like that too, not as a sympathy fuck. not as someone who can be his guardian angel and saviour. no. he needs pete to want him in the exact way he wants pete. so vegas prods and probes and teases, just to awaken something in pete. just to let pete know that THIS is how i want you. and then he backs off, leaving it all in pete's hands to make the next move - here, its ALL human. every undertone of pet and owner has vanished.

and i think the moment vegas realises its love, is "and you know why". bc he couldnt kill pete. and he realises pete cant kill him. and its for the same reason. but that feeling of "this is deeper than anything else previous to this" is brewing since "at first, i thought i was a freak, until now." because that has vegas feel differently about all of this. he doesnt feel like a freak, he doesnt feel filthy. so what does he feel then? its whatever it is that he found pete out to be: someone, a human, that is the other side of his coin, his mirror, and just how sexy and fulfilling that can be - to have someone who wants it and gets it, no matter how dark and twisted the want gets. and i think ... once vegas reached that point, he didnt want to go back. and its why the image of pete bleeding out, saying he doesnt feel human anymore, holding the knife to his jugular, haunts vegas. absolutely WRECKED him. but then, it was still for more selfish reasons: stay with me because i need you, stay with me because i dont wanna be alone - more or less like it was at the start, but different because vegas' emotional needs had now been met, he had a taste for it, and couldnt do without it.

and he still had the ... audacity? nerve? hope? faith? to think that just like before, pete would come back. but this time he doesnt.

and love is selfless, right?

so then, outside of the bar, this time, vegas is the one who walks away. he apologises. and then he walks away. despite the fact that vegas shouldnt even BE out bc he's fucking blacklisted. AND YET. he came to pete. this time, HE followed pete.

and he walks away leaving pete feeling like a human, not a pet. he walks away, not telling pete that he needs him, but that he's sorry. that vegas knows now why pete cant kill him, and he's sure pete knows now why vegas cant kill him either. and that if theyre both feeling this, that's human. and that he's sorry. and maybe pete touching his face is pete somewhat telling him he needs him too, feels that same pain too, feels that "and you know why" too, despite and against everything ("you just have to accept and be true to who you are. i just live in the present. what i'm feeling, that's all i think about.").

[taikanyohou]

I personally love the implications from SW that JS and SH are too busy making heart eyes at each other that they have no idea what else is going on in this house. JS literally said that he noticed it's cold in the house recently but that he doesn't know why and he has no plans to find out

hiiii anon!!!

seriously though like. i think that comes down to two things: 1) the kind of people/individuals they are, 2) what they become when they're together with one another.

junsung's someone that honestly doesn't care about meddling in business that doesn't need his intervention (thats not him being cold - its just who he is, he's indifferent in that he doesnt feel the need to spend his time or energy on matters that dont ask for it. remember when he told seunwoo that he was observing everything going on around sungho even though he acted like he was indifferent - because he was invested in sungho since day 1, whereas in matters he isnt invested in, he just stays far far far away from them), whilst sungho is a highly empathetic person but that empathy only comes out when it needs to i.e, he will see someone having a hard time, and then he'll go up to that person in private and console them and talk to them, and give his honest opinion if its asked for. and thats it. he'll then remove himself from the situation and not go back to it again. he keeps that level of distance and space.

and so when 2sung come together, those parts of them just naturally align alongside how intensely they feel for/love one another. nothing else matters when they're together - they talked for 7 hours on a date and came back home and still clung onto one another. but also, they just dont feel the need to involve themselves in matters that dont ask for their attention. yeah they can read the room, but i think for them its also just about not wanting to waste anymore time in being together.

like seunwoo said, "you're too busy falling in love to notice what's going on". and the thing is, everyone else knows it too, and yeah they joke about ~envying them~, but everyone in the house adore and love 2sung, both as individual people and as a couple.

[taikanyohou]

ok but pete and vegas back at the safehouse.....do they go back to that room? do they have sex in that room or is the memory too tangled up with the negative feelings and abuse of that time? do they return to that bed to have sex as a fully committed , open and consensual couple? to cleanse the space as it were? or do they lock it away?

hiiiii anon!!!!!

👀👀👀👀 wouldn't you like to know 👀👀👀👀.

no but, jokes aside, they, FOR SURE, in the end go back and make love in that room. and they BOTH cry during it bc its never been as emotionally intense ever as it has been now. no this is .... different from all their other times. different from anything they've ever had with anyone. nothing compares to how emotional this is. bc yeah its not like they havent had sex ever since they came back to the safehouse. but one time, vegas excused his way out of it just when things were about to get going. another time, vegas treated pete like he was made of out glass and it just didn't feel like them.

and sometimes, pete plucks up the courage to find that room and go inside it and see that .... everything is still there, the way it was. the chains suspended and hanging down from the ceiling, the handcuffs attached to the end of it, the cage for vegas' dead hedgehog, the bed, the outline of the stain of the noodles vegas had dropped just before he threatened to kill him when pete had escaped. its all still there.

its not easy. the first time pete goes into that room, its just the him stood in the way doorway scanning the room, until he sees the handcuffs, and his grip on the door handle tightens to the point where his knuckles go white and he slams the door shut and sinks to the ground trying to remember how to breathe again. he hadnt even realised he was holding his breath all this time.

a few days later he tries again. and again. and again. until he's able to step foot into the room. and then he's able to walk around the room. and then he's able to trace his fingers over the items present there. and then he remembers how vegas choked him and dragged him to stand, to pin him against the wall as he drew his knife out to his jugular, saying he'd kill him, and how helpless and defeated and degraded pete felt that in the end, he was ready to kill himself. and he cries. he breaks. he sobs. he whimpers. he just lets himself go. and then he tries. he tries to sit on the bed at first. and that's enough pushing the limits for one day. the next time he goes into the room, he tries to lie down on the bed. and he remembers how vegas forced him to eat. but that memory dissipates into all fhe times vegas cooked food for him and bought it to him, as he waited on the bed for him. and he remembers lying there telling vegas he grew up with an abusive dad, just like him. and he remembers seeing vegas cry as he mourned his dead hedgehog and how amused vegas was by his intrigue of his blood type. and how vegas didnt like beinf called sensitive or needing love, but look at him now. and there's a soft smile on pete's face. and he remembers vegas looming over him to feed him medicine through his mouth, how vegas looked and felt when he was inside him when they had sex the first time, how he kissed him, how he lay next to him and told him he didn't feel like a freak anymore, but that pete was a fool. and pete can't help but touch himself as he lies there. he touches his mouth, his lips, his jaw, his chin, his neck. his hands move down his chest, down his body and ... god. he shouldn't. he shouldn't be feeling this. his heart shouldn't be betraying him like so, pounding away in his chest until he can hear his own heartbeat, until he can hear how ragged his breathing has become. until he can hear vegas saying "let it out", and he's moaning his name as he jerks himself off.

he shouldn't. he shouldn't be doing this. but he only does it because he knows vegas is scared. and that's stopping him from fully giving himself over to pete when they get intimate. and what else can pete do?

and they've talked about this. at first, they didn't. because it was too raw. too ... new. too ... sensitive. but then it startes to tudn into a pattern. and then a common recurrence and pete's patience began to waver and get thin. until one day, whilst they were kissing on the sofa, pete took hold of vegas' hand and bought it upto his neck in an attempt to get vegas to choke him, because pete needs it, he wants it so badly. and vegas jerked away. and pete tried to reach out and bring them closer again but vegas stood up and walked away. and pete couldn't hold back anymore. so he followed vegas, around the house, asking him what that was, begging him to explain himself, telling vegas again and again that he knows he won't hurt him, so what's stopping him? and then when vegas still doesn't answer, pete's bitterness, perhaps even his insecurities, come out. he ends up spitting out and yelling if its him, if vegas is bored of him now, if the thrill of being with him has gone, does he not excite him anymore? because, damn it, pete just wants a response. something, anything, from vegas. and that makes vegas halt. and the way his hands are clenched into fists, his back as straight as a rod, the tension wound up in his body, the way his shoulder rise then fall as he breathes deeply, has pete himself on edge. he doesnt know if vegas will hurt himself or the furniture around them. and then he hears it. vegas sniffing. that then turn into him sobbing. it always ends like this. pete doesnt even realise when he starts crying himself, and in the end, their limbs end up wrapped around one another as they sit on the floor and cling onto one another, with vegas constantly apologising to pete, telling him that its not pete, its him, and pete constantly telling vegas that he wants all of him, that he needs all of him.

vegas doesnt dare go into that room. because the final memory he has of it is of pete almost killing himself right in front of his eyes, and then leaving him. but one day, he hears a sound coming from that room. and it sounds .... just like pete. and he trembles as he walks up the room, because part of him thinks he may have misheard, part of him thinks he hasn't and that means pete is in that room, which leads to the rest of him feeling completely uneasy about what pete could be doing in there. the last time pete was in there, he was trying to kill himself, afterall.

and its not until he places his ear right upto the door, that he realises that pete is saying his name. no. not saying it. moaning it. vegas knows exactly what pete sounds like, when he's on the cusp, about to orgasm. and vegas shouldn't. this feels ... too private to be intruding in on. until he realises that he is pete's boyfriend. that its come to this: he can't even pleasure pete enough anymore, so pete has to go to seek and chase out that pleasure by himself.

so vegas opens the door. and what he had suspected was right: pete's lying there, naked, on that same bed, touching himself, one hand wrapped around his neck as the other is jerking himself off. and when pete's gaze finally meets vegas', he doesnt shy away. he doesnt curl in on himself. he doesnt apologise or justify himself or his actions. he has tears in his eyes, his voice is hoarse, and he begs for vegas as he tells him he needs him.

and it feels like this was the one thing vegas didn't even realise he perhaps needed to see, for all the pieces to finally fall into place, for the wall he built up between him and pete to finally crack and break, and vegas strips himself naked and moves towards the bed until he's finally, finally, on top of pete. and pete offers his hands, just like he did back then, and vegas kisses them, just like he did back then. but this time, pete doesnt offer him the rope. so vegas grabs his wrists and holds pete's hands above pete's head and pins them down to the bed with his own hands, the grip bruising, just how pete wants it.

and he kisses him. ferociously at first, but it sweetens out into something so languid and slow and deep, a pilgrimage of each other's mouths, until vegas has to pull away to breathe. and pete is beaming. basking. his tears glisten and vegas doesnt even realise when he started crying, until pete tells him that he's missed him. vegas knows what pete means exactly by that. and all vegas can do is apologise, again. and the look in pete's eyes shifts to something much darker, hungrier then, even as he continues to cry, as he looks down at vegas' mouth. he tells vegas he doesnt want his apology. and vegas moves one hand away from holding pete's, and down to gripping his jaw, his thumb running over pete's bottom lip, as he asks him what he wants. and pete keeps his reply simple as he wraps his legs around vegas' hips and draws him in, completely down on top of him: he wants vegas to take him. to not hold back anymore. to let it out and to let go.

[taikanyohou]

Hey! I'm sorry if you've been asked this before but do you know where I could watch 'I cannot reach you'?

hiiii anon!! the subs are a bit iffy wherever you look, but thankfully, oshiroen are subbing it and you can watch it with their accurate subs here!

[taikanyohou]

Really sorry to bother you but could you tell me where to watch my personal weatherman episodes right after they air in Japan? Because as far as I know, the episodes come out on Thursdays in Japan but Viki and gagaoolala take like 12 hours or so to get the episode out! But I'm pretty impatient after waiting for like 14 days for my babies to come back home. 😭😭😭

hiiii anon!!!!! yeah sure no problem!! okay so this kind person on twitter uploads the episodes onto their google drive literally like within the half an hour once the episode airs in japan! so i just go onto their twitter page and wait for them to provide the link to the raw episode on their google drive! bc no honestly same i do not have the patience to wait until friday to watch with subs when i know that the raw episode is out on thursday, ESPECIALLY after these 14 days of HELL!

[taikanyohou]

i still can't get over the fact that vegas was feeling petes pulse on his neck while he was talking to him before pete kissed him and i noticed it just now i think im about to go absolutely insane vp is never leaving my brain

hiiiiii anon!!!!! no bc Literally:

his finger is DIRECTLY ON TOP of his jugular in that bottom gif. and he KEEPS IT THERE lingering for a moment and then moves his hand upto his jaw like ......... yeah theyre Insane. INSANE.

[taikanyohou]

hiii faiza!!! what are your fave kbls and jbls youve watched lately?

hiii anon!!!

gosh i havent watched a kbl in quite some now. i think the last one i watched was a breeze of love. but i am looking forward to jazz for two that'll be coming out soon!

as for jbls, i think apart from unknown - which is taiwanese - the only thing i am watching rn is japanese media! obviously i will put my personal weatherman in there, butttt i have LOVED and am loving the end of the world with you (yes its almost a year old but its so good!), i cannot reach you, if it's with you, my strawberry film, love is better the second time around, perfect propose. and i am looking forward to living with him and 25 o clock in akasaka!