A story from back when I played D&D. It might have been 3.5 or pathfinder or fantasycraft or one of that ilk. Might even have been 4e. It was like a decade ago.
So. Standard D&D. A party of bold adventurers of diverse origins and skillsets gets together to explore a perilous dungeon and stop a cartoonish baddy. The usual.
I end up building a fairly typical character for me. A goblin Rogue/Assassin. A stealth/melee build designed to get the drop on an enemy, do a bunch of rapid damage, and then fuck off.
She was lawful evil, and firmly in the team-fortress-two-sniper school of "You know who has a lot of feelings? Men what bludgeon their wives to death with a golf trophy. Professionals have standards." school of being a mercenary. I think I even did an aussie accent.
Anyway her schtick was that she'd noticed 'Adventurers' got to do as much violence as they wanted without social consequences, and she loved violence! So she was gonna do a stint as an adventurer, so once she was done she could go home with a big sack of gold to spend on booze and cake and hot girls. But right now she was on the job, so she was an extremely professional team player with a strict code of conduct. Always be honest with the team, follow the plan, don't mess things up for the team, split the loot evenly. Standards.
Verna was a horrible efficient little murder gremlin who was also proudly guild-certified.
* * *
Now, another PC was a chaotic neutral gnome bard who was leaning hard on the 'gnomes are amusingly racist to goblins and kobolds and think this is funny and endearing' thing. He teased Verna a bunch about being green and ugly, which she studiously ignored because - remember - she had Professional Standards.
Anyway, there was a human NPC we met that she didn't like, saying he was a bit stupid and very annoying. Our gnome bard decided it would be very funny to use one of his enchantment spells to make Verna suddenly horny for him and watch what happened.
Verna sees the gnome who keeps fucking with her walk up, wave his hands and babble some arcane nonsense, and now she has weird funny feelings she can't explain. She does some thinking and concludes that she'll pay the human for a snog later, because right now this guy's just obviously cast a spell to mess with her mind, which was Not Okay. Of course, she had Professional Standards, so...
She walks up to our gnome friend and basically informs him:
"Hi! I know you just did some magical brainwashing on me, and I am not going to tolerate this! However, because we're in a team together, and I don't want this to become a problem, I am going to very generously allow you to settle the matter with me. We will have a bout of single combat to first blood, and then whoever wins I will consider the matter settled and my honour satisfied, and you won't do that again, and we won't mention it. This is a very kind offer of mine, because I have Standards; where I come from the normal response would be to say nothing and strangle you in your sleep tonight."
And our gnome, who is a spellcaster not a combatant, looks at this and decides he doesn't want to get shown up by her, and basically tells her that if she doesn't like getting messed with she can go back to the goblin village, and laughs at her.
So. Shrug. Quickdraw as a free action. I get a surprise round. You're flat footed, so it's easy to hit and I get sneak attack damage. 3/4 of his health is gone. Initiative. He says he wants to say sorry. I respond that he can say that when it gets to his initiative count, but right now it's my action and he's still flat-footed and here's my big pile of d6s for sneak attack and oh dear I think that's him on -10 hp, so he's not going to get the chance.
* * *
Anyway this kicked off a massive shitstorm ooc about how I just kicked off PvP and murdered a PC for no reason and the game fell apart because the gnome's player genuinely didn't seem to understand that 'mind control' is a hostile action. This was in the bad old days before safety tools and I was playing in a fairly neckbeardy group, so 'a man makes a woman horny against her will to humiliate her and laughs about it' was apparently not a deal-breaker while 'the woman stabs him for it' was.
I still think I wasn't the bad guy in this scenario.
There is no point to this story I just wanted to share it.
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i love how a new smp started with all my favourite guys and has a super cool and interesting premise but it’s a stream only smp and i’m at a busy event for a week and cannot watch streams so i’m missing all the fun stuff and by the time i can watch them the hype will have most likely died down by a ton and won’t be as fun anymore
(this is all sarcasm)
(this is also about fantasy smp/fantasycraft i forgot what it’s called)
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"Happy Monday from Elf Kit Factory! 🌟 Today, our elf is having a little fun with some mini yoga. Flexibility is key for holiday preparations! What’s your favorite way to stay active? #elfkit #elfkit2024 #elfkit24day #elfkitfactory #holidaymagic #craftingjoy #handmadecrafts #festivefun #christmasprep #holidaycheer #elfcrafts #shopsmallbusiness #supportlocalartisans #etsyshop #elfprops #elfin #elfactivitykit #elfontheshelf #elfontheshelfideas #elfontheshelfprops #elfantics #elfdoor #elfkitisahit #makingmemories #christmastradition #elfhelp #elfideas #elfshenanigans #elfonthekit #elfinaorund #elfinaroundkits #christmasmagic #holidayfun#ElfCrafts#EtsySeller#HandmadeGifts#DIYElf#FantasyArt#Miniatures#CraftyCommunity#FantasyCrafts#ArtDoll#MagicalCreatures#ElfArt#Handcrafted#ElfAccessories#Whimsical#FantasyWorld#UniqueGifts#ArtisanCrafts#EtsyFinds#ElfCollectibles#HandmadeWithLove#EtsyShop#ArtisticCreations#FantasyCollectibles#ImaginativePlay#CraftyLife#ElfDesign#HandmadeMagic#CraftingJoy#FantasyMaker#CreativeHandmade
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Something a little different today. His name is Jason.
Materials: wood box, black spray paint, acrylic paint, tin foil and air dry clay for structural support and rocks, regular and translucent polymer clay for details, tea light for fire, epoxy resin and glitter for pool of gold, and clear nail polish for shine.
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