#fellow felons. ( mutuals only. )

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National Enquirer, April 5

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Meghan Markle's secret psych analysis

Page 2: Heather Locklear has put on a lot of weight since she got out of rehab last fall -- she looks to be carrying 170 pounds on her five-foot-five frame and she looks to have gained 35 pounds

Page 3: Miranda Lambert has taken another swipe at ex Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani by dissing their upcoming nuptials -- Miranda has been urging mutual friends to skip the wedding and she's got everyone in Nashville and beyond all riled up and either you're Team Miranda or you're Team Blake, and if you're with him you can forget about being friends with her and she's forcing people to choose sides and she'll have no qualms cutting off anyone who attends Blake's wedding

Page 4: Alex Rodriguez struck out with fiancee Jennifer Lopez after she discovered his hot-and-heavy direct messages to a long string of women -- their four-year romance went foul after Southern Charm's Madison LeCroy publicly admitted she'd been in touch with A-Rod and Jennifer found out he'd reached out to other beauties through social media and Jennifer had had enough

* Concerned mom Jennifer Garner is struggling to cement her relationship with daughter Violet now that the 15-year-old is barreling through the turbulent teens -- Jennifer said the heartbreak is just that she's growing up at all and it's heartbreaking for the mom and for the teenager, needing to have that kind of severing of this baby-mama tie

Page 5: Chris Brown's spacey social media posts about aliens have close pals concerned about the R&B crooner, including his once-battered ex Rihanna -- Chris is obsessed with conspiracy theories and all things supernatural

Page 6: Disgraced Felicity Huffman is fuming about scuffling for plum parts while rumors swirl fellow felon Lori Loughlin has already been invited back into her old TV series and Felicity can't understand why she is being forced to go through the whole audition process while Lori seems to be welcomed back with open arms -- though she hates to do it, Felicity feels the only way she can get attention is to do a tell-all interview about her humiliating part in the scandal -- Felicity has scored a part in the ABC pilot Sacramento River Cats, though there is no guarantee the project will make it onto the air, but insiders and fans of the hit Hallmark series When Calls the Heart have all been filling the internet with talk of Lori's rumored return -- Felicity believes the only way to get public sympathy is to spill her guts, even though all she wants is put the scandal far behind her

Page 8: Stressed Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon has been packing on the pounds as his talk show continues to battle with Stephen Colbert's Late Show and Jimmy Kimmel Live in the late-night ratings and Jimmy has been partying and pigging out to find any comfort he can as Tonight continues to trail the field in total viewers and Jimmy is over 200 pounds for the first time in his life and it's because he's overindulging to compensate for the show's struggles and Jimmy and the gym do not mix even though he had a full fitness center installed at his New York apartment years ago

* Debilitated diva Liza Minnelli's 75th birthday party turned into a disaster when her frail physical condition alarmed friends -- celebrity pals also joined a virtual bash for the legend, even though Liza insisted she didn't want a big fuss and Liza's manager threw the small dinner party on her birthday and about eight people, including Joan Collins, attended in person and several other friends, including Barbra Streisand, recorded video messages and performances for Liza but before the party, Liza was in such bad shape she told friends that she didn't want to participate or be seen on camera -- in the end, Liza, who's undergone multiple surgeries and struggled with substance abuse for years, agreed to join the gathering at the L.A. home of her longtime protege Michael Feinstein and Liza sang but she didn't look well and her voice is shot to pieces and she was propped up in a chair and barely moved from it because she can't walk well anymore and during a live chat during the party the hashtag #FreeLiza started to pop up and not everyone meant it as a joke and there's a feeling certain people have taken over her life and longtime friends have been frozen out and they fear she'll never appear in public again and they won't see her again before she dies -- when friends saw the videos the next day they were upset and very worried, saying Liza really appears to have declined

Page 9: Angelina Jolie has fired a shocking new salvo against ex Brad Pitt over custody of their five youngest children and her latest court documents allege domestic violence and even worse, some of the nearly dozen papers Angie just filed offer up a few of the kids to testify against their dad and Angie is now claiming she can offer proof and authority of domestic violence but Brad's lawyers are expected to respond with a vehement denial -- with the newest court filings, all of which are sealed, Angie is determined to get full custody of the kids and Angelina has fought tooth and nail to get what she wants in this divorce and when it comes to her kids she won't back down

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Farrah Abraham in a bikini, 50 Cent chased away his thirst with a drink at an Atlanta eatery, Natasha Lyonne of Russian Doll was on her game while playing chess on the NYC set, Selma Blair met up with a pal in Studio City, Reggie Bush showed he's still in fine form during a Mexican vacay

Page 11: Gwyneth Paltrow isn't above using a little goop to smooth out the age lines -- the lifestyle guru recently admitted to resorting to a teeny drop of Xeomin, which claims to be a uniquely purified choice for frown lines, to help her look less pissed off but she also admitted her history with fillers hasn't always been happy and she had a midlife crisis when she turned 40 and she went to see this doctor and it was a disaster and she was bruised and her forehead was completely frozen and she didn't look like herself at all -- she also admitted she believes there is still a lot of shame around surgery or injectables or fillers and it's like admitting a vulnerability -- she said she thinks aging is hard and when you see your face start to change, you don't necessarily feel your most beautiful, externally, but the irony is it's that time in your life when you actually really like yourself and love yourself

* Wendy Williams' handpicked hunk Mike Esterman has better buckle up because the daytime diva has already mapped out their future, and he's in for a wild ride -- Wendy boasted she chose her Maryland-based beau after receiving hundreds of submissions to her Date Wendy segment, but she's aiming to renovate the contractor and it's all about image, stylists and bodyguards for Wendy right now and she's already got a reality show in the works for them, a TV crew and photographers trailing them everywhere and his-and-her makeovers too -- she's gone from zero to 60 with this guy in a matter of days

Page 12: Straight Shuter gossip column -- Miley Cyrus is going country after her last two albums tanked -- Miley offended her core audience with her outrageous behavior and punk sound and she's signed with a new record label and the plan is to reintroduce her to the country audience that loved her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, and once loved her -- Miley's behavior has overshadowed her talent for years and her new team will guide Miley back to her roots in the world of country and finding the right sound should be easy but can Miley find the right behavior

* Gayle King owes her glow on CBS This Morning to a new makeup artist and after being tended to by a fill-in makeup artist and told she looked better than ever, Gayle quietly dismissed her longtime makeup man but there's an unspoken code of ethics in the pro makeup world that if you're asked to replace a longtime client's makeup person, the appropriate answer is no

* The Sex and the City reboot isn't all cosmos and roses -- Sarah Jessica Parker was the show's executive producer, giving her much more power than her co-stars, but Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis will also executive produce the reboot and there's already tension -- sharing power is hard for anyone who's been the boss for years and it isn't one big happy family

* Rachel Brosnahan gets some puppy love on the set of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (picture)

Page 13: The knives are out for self-appointed queen bee of The Talk Sharon Osbourne after she was exposed as TV's meanest host -- the salty motormouth has been accused of a barrage of racist and anti-gay zingers, forcing the gabfest to go on hiatus while CBS investigates the claims -- former host Leah Remini claimed Sharon would frequently refer to then-co-host Julie Chen, who is Chinese American, as 'wonton' and 'slanty eyes' and Sharon also reportedly referred to her out lesbian co-host Sara Gilbert as 'p--sy licker' and 'fish eater' -- in a tweet, Holly Robinson Peete implied Sharon's racist comments led to her leaving the show -- Sharon also chased Marie Osmond on the show last fall and tried to take it over after Julie Chen quit in 2018 -- Sharon has denied all claims against her -- Sharon's big personality is central to The Talk, but some of these allegations, although none have yet been proven, are the kind of remarks that could be career-ending

Page 14: Crime

Page 16: Demi Lovato's shocking admission that she continues to puff pot and swill booze after multiple rehab stints and a near-fatal drug overdose has pals and addiction experts convinced the singer is courting disaster -- she dropped the bombshell in a recent interview and claimed indulging in those vices has helped her fend off more serious addictions and the chronic depression that has dogged her entire life -- Demi came very close to dying three years ago after she overdosed on opioids and it triggered three stokes and a heart attack, and a lot of people were terrified she would never recover and her friends are convinced she's put herself right back on the same self-destructive path -- Demi claimed she was sexually assaulted by her dealer on the day of her almost-fatal OD and when her assistant found her unconscious and surrounded by vomit following the wild binge, she was naked and she was blue and she was left for dead and she had unknowingly taken heroin that was laced with the powerful drug fentanyl

Page 17: Devastated Lisa Marie Presley is finding comfort in the arms of her first husband, Danny Keough, after their son Benjamin Keough's suicide -- Danny has given her a shoulder to cry on and he's the only one who can understand the despair she feels after losing Benjamin -- Lisa Marie has been inconsolable since Benjamin died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound and she's moved in with Danny in Woodland Hills, California and she's also struggled with substance abuse and the stress of an ongoing divorce battle from fourth husband Michael Lockwood -- although her marriage to Danny ended in 1994, he's remained close to the family, working as a driver and handyman for their actress daughter, Riley Keough and Riley couldn't be happier that her dad has been so helpful to her mother and it's taking a full team to keep Lisa Marie together and Danny was definitely proven he's still on her team

* The sudden death of Bobby Brown Jr. remains shrouded in mystery as the 28-year-old's autopsy report was placed on a security hold following a request from the LAPD -- the namesake son of Bobby Brown and his ex-girlfriend Kim Ward lived with his famous father in Encino, California, where the singer found him responsive -- Bobby Jr. has been doing drugs with pals and insiders suspected he was deliberately dosed with a fatal cocktail of booze, cocaine and painkillers

Page 18: American Life

Page 19: Tina Turner is using a new documentary about her life as a final farewell to fans after the R&B icon was rocked by a string of physical and mental health woes including the crippling effects of a 2013 stroke -- the eye-opening documentary Tina is a love letter to her millions of supporters and the punctuation mark to a life defined by startling professional success and heartbreaking personal catastrophes -- Tina admitted she's had an abusive life but at a certain stage forgiveness takes over -- in the documentary Tina confessed she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and has frightening flashbacks of being savagely beaten throughout her hellish 16-year marriage to the late Ike Turner and Tina's current husband, German music producer Erwin Bach, even compared his spouse to a shell-shocked soldier -- more recently, Tina has been battered by health crises after suffering a stroke in 2013 and being diagnosed with intestinal cancer three years later, mere months before her kidneys failed and Erwin donated one of his own to save her life -- Tina knows the end is near and this film is truly her last encore

Page 20: Match Game -- a round up of male and female celebs who look astonishingly similar, despite their opposite genders -- Sophie Turner and Boy George, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber, Timothee Chalamet and Natalia Dyer, Tom Cruise and Tig Notaro

Page 21: Melissa McCarthy and Ricky Gervais, Eva Marcille and Terrence Howard, Bret Michaels and Fergie, Josh Hartnett and Clea DuVall

Page 22: Katy Perry sparked rumors she had finally taken the plunge with longtime love Orlando Bloom after she was seen sporting a suspicious gold band on her left ring finger while vacationing in Hawaii

* Scott Disick has confessed baby mama Kourtney Kardashian is the reason his relationships fail -- the reality TV slacker revealed his now ex-girlfriend Sofia Richie felt neglected because he spent more time with Kourtney and their three kids, saying it's definitely not easy that they see each other, work together and are friends but he's always been clear that his priority has been his kids and he even put it out there that taking care of Kourtney is one of his priorities

Page 26: Reality star fixer-uppers Jonathan and Drew Scott are sweating bullets over a lawsuit filed against their Property Brothers show by unhappy clients and the stress over the scandal is wreaking havoc with their personal lives -- Las Vegas couple Mindy and Paul King filed suit against Cineflix, the company that producers Property Brothers, and Villa Construction, a local contracting company, alleging they did a shoddy job repairing their home after the couple forked over $193,000 for renovations -- though the twin brothers aren't named in the lawsuit, they were concerned it could smear their reputations and upset their ladyloves -- Jonathan is close to marriage with actress Zooey Deschanel and Drew is wed to Linda Phan, who is the creative director for their company, Scott Brothers Entertainment -- they're both mortified by these allegations and they don't know what to tell Zooey and Linda, other than they will be cleared when the truth comes out but they're terrified that the bad press could derail the show -- Paul and Mindy answered a 2018 casting call and said they were assured all the work would be HGTV quality but Paul said that the place looks good from afar, but it's far from good and the Kings griped to the Nevada State Contractors Board, citing more than 90 complaints with the work ranging from unmatched baseboards to potential hazards -- as the case plays out, the brothers have been rattled by the controversy and they are stressed that this very public case is calling their work into question and there's a fear more people will come forward with similar charges

Page 28: Cover Story -- a top-secret psychological profile of Prince Harry's wife Meghan Markle paints the former actress as a mentally unstable ticking time bomb who couldn't cope with playing second fiddle to senior royals -- the explosive evaluation unmasks Meghan as a pathological liar and bipolar narcissist with histrionic personality disorder but the jaw-dropping findings about Meghan, who's pregnant with a sister for son Archie, don't surprise palace sources as Meghan's tears, tantrums and extreme mood swings had staffers terrified what she could do or say next and she was consumed with ambition and jealousy -- she married Harry expecting to be the royal superstar, but instead learned she'd always be second to his brother Prince William's wife, Duchess Kate and Meghan couldn't stand that she and Harry would always be in their shadow and wanted to destroy her in-laws but no one expected her to lob a nuclear grenade into her husband's family in a no-holds-barred TV special

Page 32: Health Watch

Page 34: Cara Delevingne confessed she used to be disgusted by same-sex relationships and was suicidal before coming to terms with her sexuality -- the model, who has dated actresses Michelle Rodriguez and Ashley Benson and singer St. Vincent, said she was trapped in a dark place and afraid before she publicly admitted to liking members of the same sex -- she said she grew up in an old-fashioned household and she didn't know anyone who was gay and she didn't know that was a thing and growing up she wasn't knowledgeable of the fact she was homophobic and she continued that the idea of being with same-sex partners, she was disgusted by that, in herself -- Cara, who identifies as pansexual, explained her sexual orientation is constantly changing and added she was so unhappy and she wasn't following her truth, that whole thing of having to fit into the box, she's an androgynous person

* Don McLean wants his decades-younger girlfriend to have the wedding of her dreams and he's set aside $1 million for the big day -- the American Pie singer has been dating model Paris Dylan for five years after an ugly divorce from second wife Patrisha Shnier -- Paris is totally unconcerned by the enormous age gap between the 75-year-old singer and 27-year-old model and wants to spend the rest of their lives together -- Don's going all out making sure she has the wedding that's fit for a princess and he's spending an absolute fortune, giving Paris the best of the best in terms of the venue and the food and the one-of-a-kind dress and Don's given her carte blanche to plan it however she wants, and people are expecting a seriously over-the-top affair

Page 36: Singer Andra Day turned to method acting to play jazz icon Billie Holiday, and it's paid off with an Oscar nomination -- Andra revealed she dropped 39 pounds and took up drinking and smoking to prep for the title role in the biopic The United States vs. Billie Holiday -- Andra doesn't recommend smoking and drinking, but she did it because she was just desperate for her first role -- Andra, famed for writing and performing the song Rise Up, also sings in the movie as Holiday, and changed her singing voice to reflect the music legend's pain

* Hollywood Hookups -- MTV reality stars Jenna Compono and Zach Nichols secretly tied the knot and their first child is due in August, Larsa Pippen is dating Myles Kronman, Ashley Jacobs and Mike Appel engaged

Page 38: Cindy Crawford said posing for Playboy was a snap compared to acting in movies -- Cindy said she really regrets starring in the 1995 bomb Fair Game, where she played a lawyer fighting a former KGB spy -- she said she never wanted to be an actor, but a producer begged her and he kept upping the price until she thought she'd be an idiot to say no, but she should have said no, or prepared herself better -- the experience taught her she's very comfortable in front of a camera, but only when she's being herself

* Former American Idol judge Randy Jackson is half the man he used to be and he couldn't be happier about it -- Randy has dropped a whopping 130 pounds to head off potentially deadly effects of his type 2 diabetes and did it in the healthiest ways -- he wrote in his book Body with Soul, it's a curse to be saddled with a disease that's life-threatening, but it's a blessing to get that huge wake-up call -- Randy admitted to crushing the scale at 358 pounds before getting gastric bypass in 2003 but now exercises and eats right and he's ditched sugar and gluten and he wants to be an example for other obese folks and show them they can get healthy and stay that way

Page 40: Tom Brady did an end run around fuming wife Gisele Bundchen by signing a four-year contract extension with his new Tampa Bay Buccaneers team after winning the Super Bowl -- the 43-year-old quarterback promised Gisele he would hang up his cleats after the upcoming season since winning last year's championship but changed his mind after snagging his record seventh NFL title with the Bucs -- Gisele is both angry and astonished because they had spoken about him finally settling down to be a full-time father and husband, but he can't stop chasing glory on the field and Gisele was stunned by his decision to re-up for another four years while the two were discussing expanding their brood and they had planned to have another child after buying their dream house on Indian Creek Island in Miami and they were even drawing plans for a nursery, and now that Tom's done a complete turnaround, everything is up in the air; it's caused some serious tension in their marriage

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Grammy Awards -- Billie Eilish, Megan Thee Stallion, Dua Lipa, Noah Cyrus, Lizzo, Taylor Swift

[oneiriad]

For the crossovers: how would the leverage gang get along with the mdzs fam?

Hmmm.

1. The target of the week is some sort of big hotel owner asshole. I have absolutely no idea what a capitalist hotel owner of bad repute, possibly in Las Vegas, might have done to earn the ire of Leverage. Honestly, it doesn’t really matter.

2. What matters is that there is a big conference - private event, lasts several days, workshops and shared meals and networking time - scheduled at the hotel and the Leverage crew decide that this “Bidecennial Cultivation Conference” is the perfect infiltration spot. So, Hardison hacks the hotel and inserts an extra “sect” - farmers really have some weird organization concepts these days - in the list.

3. A few details become very apparent very quickly when they actually arrive at the conference. Like the fact that whatever these guys are, farmers are - probably not it (though there is this fellow, Mr. Wei, who will happily chat with Elliot about radishes and potatoes for half an hour). Or the fact that, while it’s not like they are the only white or black faces, about 80% of the attendants are definitely of Asian extraction. Dress code leans toward very old school, and Hardison is convinced they’ve stumbled upon an hitherto unknown to him nerd subculture (he - is not entirely wrong?)

4. They soldier on, because they are good at improvising when required. The conference is very varied, and some of the lectures are downright - weird? And the hotel gym, which has martial arts facilities, is getting used for demonstration sword fighting like something out of certain Chinese monasteries (Elliot: “It’s a very distinctive style, but I can’t put my finger on it.”), and the food is delicious, even if Elliot’s new friend Mr. Wei complains that it’s too bland and talks a waiter into bringing an entire bowl of extra chili sauce.

5. The musical entertainment of the evening is a Chinese gentleman in white playing an antique string instrument and Parker might be about to choke, because a guqin in that condiition? Extremely valuable.

6. Of course, then there’s the detail the Leverage crew miss: that the cultivation world knows its own and nobody’s really fooled by this “Portland sect”. They are curious, though, and not particularly threatened, especially as several Immortals - including the famous Hanguang-Jun, the notorious Yiling Laozu, why even the Ghost General and Sandu Shengshou and others - have decided to attend this particular conference.

7. I am not saying that said Immortal cultivators deduce that the Leverage crew are Robin Hood conmen and decide to help them out. Okay, so NHS is still around somehow and deduce it. Everybody knows that that Nie is the sneakiest person anywhere he goes.

8. Wei Wuxian somehow makes friends with Elliot, despite his atrocious, downright offensive opinions about spices. Lan Wangji allows Parker to approach him, while Jiang Cheng pulls a “very important sect leader” to have Sophie attach herself to his arm, while Wen Ning sits down next to Hardison and asks about whatever nerdy merchandise he brought along, because you know. NHS, of course, is an utterly useless good-for-nothing spilling his drink all over Nate.

9. The cultivators observe and deduce and eventually realize the team’s actual target. They might even help out a little or let themselves get conveniently distracted.

10. Alas, the target of the week turns out to have considerably more resources and wherewithal than most targets, and possibly extremely unpleasant friends. As in, he turns the tables on the Leverage crew for real and things are looking very bleak - for them and the couple of poor, innocent cultivators that’s gotten stuck in the middle. There are guns and probably somebody has already died - some poor third party people.

11. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Jiang Cheng interrupts halfway through the villain monologuing his way towards a gangster style mass execution, because one massive hostage situation with a pscyho is enough for several millennia, thank you. And then Zidian comes out, and sweet, harmless, nerdy Wen Ning’s eyes go black and he roars to freeze the blood in everybody’s veins.

12. A bit later, a couple of Lans - don’t you just love those nice, strong arms - rip a door off its hinges, and in walks the Yiling Laozu, lowering Chenqing and blinking sheepishly. “What took you so long?” Jiang Cheng barks as he sweeps out.

13. (Wei Wuxian had been making out with his husband in a cupboard, on the general principle that a hotel conference requires at least one round of making out in a cupboard. He is not the least bit embarrassed about that, but he still gets stuck with clean-up duty.)

14. Clean-up duty mostly involves the bad guys getting back up and walking out to a cheery tune. Possibly a Disney tune.

15. Leverage crew are - mildly put shocked and definitely not used to their cases devolving into quite as much bloodshed. Also Elliot is standing in front of the lot of them in defensive posture, because he just saw Wen Ning take an unknown number of bullets without even slowing down and throw a desk that should have taken four men to lift, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to let these people - who obviously have secrets, big secrets, and no hesitation in killing - get to his friends without a fight.

16. “So,” says Nie Huaisang, walking in and daintily sidestepping a blood pool, “this is an awful mess, isn’t it?”

“Yes...”

(Possibly, very politely phrased mutual blackmail ensues. Well, mostly NHS basically threatening to have the entire mess pinned on the group of known felons hanging around at the hotel, infiltrating a cultural conference, and oh, he’s got this particular Interpol fellow on speed dial, funny that. Unless, that is, I mean, we’re all friends here, and it’s already such a terrible mess, nobody’d want any of this to get messier, would they? What happens in Vegas and all that, yes?)

[bellaslilpapercut]

vote AND...

So I’m seeing a lot of anti-voting posts again so I wanted to make this little post here to make my stance clear. (This is specific to the US) 

1. Voting IS important. Voting rights are constantly under fire in this country, from direct voter suppression to the stripping of voting rights from felons. If you can vote, you can do so strategically or you can vote for every down ballot option and leave the presidential choice blank (if you are strongly morally opposed to Biden). 

2. Voter turnout in the US rarely breaks 60% of the population because of voter suppression as well as a disillusionment with the US government. Low voter turnout and the electoral college contribute to the unrepresentative nature of our government. Despite the rising support for socialism in the US, very few of our elected representatives support socialist policies and ideals. 

3. The lack of political representation in our government can be aided by voting in every election (especially local elections! we just elected a socialist mayor in the primaries!) as well as by supporting term limits for congress members and the dismantling of the electoral college. As mentioned in the linked article, the supreme court will likely have the final say in whether the electoral college stays or goes so voting for the furthest left presidential candidate can also be an action toward abolishing the electoral college.

4. Voting is great and is also Not Enough. If Biden does win this election, many white liberals will return to their uncritical engagement in the political world. The Obama administration committed atrocities in the Middle East, continued vicious enforcement of the war on drugs, and did nothing to reform or defund police during the Ferguson and Baltimore uprisings of the 2010′s. We need to continue our activist work every day of the year, not just during election season. Every US president will be an imperialist war criminal. Every US president will be a capitalist. We need to be engaging in constant revolutionary work as well as working towards reforms that will make life better for the most vulnerable populations in the US and around the world (policies like the Green New Deal, tax reform, even Biden’s disability plan)

5. Protests and riots are not the only form of revolutionary work. You can start by educating yourself (which will be a never ending process) and sharing information with those around you. Here is a sub-list of other actions to take ranging from personal to communal. 

 A. To my fellow white people- learn to interrogate your internalized racism without becoming a mess of White Guilt TM. Learn to interrogate your past mistakes from a place of forgiveness and accountability (meaning: do not beat yourself up for being indoctrinated by a racist society but do not expect every Black and non-white person in your life to absolve you of your past actions).  

B. Once you have learned how to sit with the discomfort of your past bigotries, learned how to actively interrogate racist, sexist, ableist, transphobic, etc. knee-jerk reactions and impulses, you can begin holding the people in your life accountable as well. If you are white and your family poses no danger to you, TALK to them about their internalized racism. It takes a lot of long, patient, understanding conversations, but it works. My own father went from actively condemning the Baltimore uprising to telling me just this year that he understands that riots are an effective path to change. Do not frame these conversations as “call outs.” Calling someone out is not the same as accountability. True accountability means that YOU believe that the person you are holding to account is capable of change and deserving of the chance to grow and learn. The linked article above (linked again here) gives a decent starting point for how to go about changing someone’s mind. Try it with your friends who may have expressed some bigoted views, conservative family members, basically anyone who you know personally. 

C. Donate to mutual aid funds, bail funds, Indigenous peoples, and houseless folk in your own community. Many people on here are already doing a great job with sharing information and donation links. Let’s keep it up! It doesn’t feel revolutionary but strengthening communities is a radical practice. Everything about capitalism and the US is meant to isolate us, to keep us trapped in a nuclear family structure, to distrust our neighbors and communities. It is radical to help one another. 

D. Learn to live your politics. If you believe in a system based in an ethic of care, practice kindness as a discipline. Continuously critique your own political views and strive toward ideological consistency (ie if you believe in prison abolition, the solution to police brutality CANNOT be throwing cops in prison.) Read and study always. 

E. Take a break from global news and even federal news from time to time but always stay up to date on your local situation. Try to ground yourself where you are. You cannot fix the world but you can make a huge difference to your neighbors and loved ones. Sometimes it helps to think small and remember- the revolution is a million tiny moving parts as well as the large tapestry of movements.

F. Join a union! Or start a union! The folks at the IWW are very helpful to anyone looking to start their own union in an industry that doesn’t already have one. 

G. If you have disposable income, try to use it wisely. If you can afford to not use Amazon- don’t. If you can afford to avoid chain groceries, agracorp, monsanto, try! Farmers markets are expensive but they are a great way to divorce yourself from corporate foods. Also, shop Indigenous!

H. Learn about land back. If you know someone who owns land (do your parents own a house? do you?) Find out whose lands you are occupying and connect with the tribes in your area to determine how to best give the land back. (As mentioned in other posts, this does not mean that you need to leave: land back returns stewardship of the land to the indigenous people it was stolen from.) 

I’m going to wrap this up because it is Long as Hell. I hope this is a useful jumping off point! I will continue to share educational and donation resources on my main blog. 

[laughing-with-god]

Pen Pal 1.5

Summary- As a lonely person, the idea of exchanging letters with someone apart from society was actually quite appealing to you.  In a random act of charity and desperation, you sign up for a pen pal and get paired up with an inmate named Jungkook.  The letters were meant to help him cope with prison life, but little did anyone know it was actually driving him more mad.

Warnings- Yandere/Prisoner Jungkook x Reader.  Mature themes.  Mention of mental disorder.

Words; 5.4k

“Have you ever felt so connected to someone that you didn’t understand why they were inside another skin and inhabiting a different body than you?”

He supposed that he should’ve been more displeased with where he landed himself.  

A cage of a jail cell that was six by eight feet and enclosed with brick walls that were so old, the paint was chipping off more and more each day.  The only entrance and exit being the harsh bars of the metal doors where a police officer could always be seen patrolling the passage ways, eyeing inmates with a judgmental glare as if he knew each and every one of their stories and how they were menaces to society.  

But if Jungkook was being true to himself, he couldn’t find any need to relate to his fellow prisoners fantasies of being in the outside world once again.

He had no desire to integrate back into society.  

He hated the world for a long time.

He hated how obnoxious and fake people were in the modern era.  He hated how capitalistic and money hungry the economy was. He hated how surface level and crude the general community was.  

From the time he was born, his peers would only approach him because they had hopes of being friends with the son of a rich power-broker.  

They would smile to his face and claimed to like him, but behind his back they would complain about how ‘boring and weird’ he was.  

Indeed, as a youngster Jungkook had been very introverted.  

He loved drawing, and this caused looks of confusion as most boys his age would enjoy a game of football or soccer more than doodling.  The only reason he got invites to playdates or birthday parties was due to his family’s social status. He was quick to catch on when his ‘friends’ would always push to go to his house, to play with his toys and to drop the Jeon name when bragging to other people about the ‘friendship’.  

However as Jungkook got older, the less he cared about such trivial matters.  As an insecure little boy, it bruised him quite a bit. But as an older teen, he accepted it as a harsh reality.  No one liked him for him, yet it wasn’t as tragic as it sounded. Because, he didn’t accept them for who they were either.  The world and Jungkook had a mutual understanding for each other. He despised them for it used him.

So when he went and got himself locked up, he really didn’t have that much remorse for what he would miss of the outside world.  The criminal psychologist said he had a problem with feelings in general; having a low emotional capacity for settings or situations but a heightened one for certain people in his life.  But Jungkook paid this analysis no mind. After all, how many different settings, situations or people can he encounter while serving a life-time sentence at one of the most highly guarded prisons in the country?

He did what he had done, and he was at peace with everything concerning the matter.  

When other inmates would rant about how they missed very basic things of life; non-cafeteria food, going to parks, having your own home and schedule, Jungkook didn’t care for the sentiment at all.  In fact, he thought they were weak to not even be able to handle prison. Really, how bad was it? You got a bed to sleep on, a toilet to shit in and was fed three time a day. With the way these fuckers ranted, you would’ve thought they were world war soldiers talking about home life whilst serving in the trenches.  Pathetic, really.

One day, Jungkook walked into his cell after a decent work out only to spot a pristine and angelic white envelope on his bed (more like a slab of metal with a cheap blanket on top but what did you expect of a cell?). This caused Jungkook to quirk a brow at the odd sight, he was pretty particular with boundaries and it annoyed him to see his roommate not respect his space.  

“Joon, I told you not to leave shit in my area.”  Jungkook motonously commented to his cell mate that was currently on the top bunk, book in hand.  This caused the older to peek from his spot above and glance down at the lower bunk.  

“Uh...that’s not mine.  Plus it has your name on it and everything, bro.”  

Jungkook sighed and pressed his tongue against his cheek in an angry tick that he had adopted years ago.  He really just wanted to head to the showers and he couldn’t imagine who would be writing to him. His family having disowned him for his crimes and everyone else having forgotten him or shunning his existence like he had the plague.  Not that he was too disappointed with these developments, he could spend the rest of his days without a word from anyone from the outside and he would still die content.

With a huff, he snatched the envelope and opened it with very little grace.  

‘Dear Mr. or Miss. Prisoner…..’

Jungkook’s doe eyes skimmed passed the delicate but noticeably rushed handwriting, soaking in the words with hesitance at such unexpected vulnerability from an utter stranger.  It wasn’t a long letter (Jungkook was finished reading it after 30 seconds or so) but he plopped himself on his bed to re-read the letter when he was done, showers somehow forgotten.

Said person who wrote to him managed to sound very weak and tired through diction alone.  However, this moment of weakness from the stranger was somehow not at all judged by Jungkook.  This revelation startled the prisoner himself, given that he had always made it a habit to look down on those whom lacked the mental strength that he did.  A fucked up social darwinism philosophy that was only heightened by being around meager sheep while he was a full on ruthless psycho. But why? Why did he feel pity this time instead of the usual disgust whenever someone was so bare and raw to him?  

The answer was simple.  

He related to you.

He felt as though you had put it best into words exactly what he felt when he was living out there in the public.  The world was scary and he didn’t blame you for being paranoid or locking yourself up. He could practically feel your fear from where he was; locked in a tiny cell and miles upon miles away from civilization.  He got the sense that you were different, like him. Most people he had encountered in his lifetime have always been okay with how the world was, not acknowledging the sinister characteristics that came along with it.  Authenticity was oozing from your writing as you did way more than just acknowledge the bad; you did your best to stay away from it all together. In a weird way, Jungkook found this cute. You were like a frightened child that hid under your bed to avoid the evil babysitter, escaping was your pure and innocent plan of action.  Which was different from Jungkook’s more violent actions….but he concluded he liked the contrast between you two. While you decided to take it out on yourself and starve yourself from stimulation just to keep away from the barbaric world, Jungkook took it upon himself to make everyone else pay.

“It it that stupid Pen Pal program?”  

Jungkook glanced up from the paper to see his cellmate hang his head from the bed above, watching Jungkook with questioning orbs.  Jungkook just scoffed at the upside down face and nodded.

“I just threw my letter away.  I heard they put all of us in that program because it’s a tax-write off for them.  It’s bullshit.” Namjoon told the younger.

Jungkook didn’t supply the other with an answer.  Instead he carefully folded the letter and placed it smoothly under his pillow. Then, he headed out to the showers while thoughts of what to write back to you filled his mind.  

--

‘Dear Y/n,

Well I would feel rather….accepting.  

I think you must be a very wise person to keep yourself far from the wretched claws of society…..’  

Jungkook tapped the capped pen against his chin, looking over his writing for any errors or mishaps before he signed off entirely.  

His letter was more in response to yours, after all you hadn’t given him that much to reply back to.  But still, some communication was better than none at all. Jungkook wanted to let you know that he understood your fears.  Hell, he even shared them with you. He hoped that you believed him when he told you that he also harbored disdain for your enemy.  And he also wanted to learn more about such a like-minded individual. Surely, you both had to have other similarities too, right?

He added the request for an image of you toward the end of his letter, just out of sheer curiosity for his long-lost twin. He didn’t care what you looked like but he wanted to scratch the itch of placing a face with the writing, knowing the urge to know would never go away until he saw your face.  

Other prisoners watched shocked as they witnessed Jungkook make his way to the mail room to drop off a letter to be sent off, knowing that he never made contact with the outside world.  

--

Jungkook found himself pacing his cell in an anxious manner, arms crossed and brows furrowed.  His stomach was tied into knots and his palms were clammy, hinting at one of the first times that he’s ever been nervous.  

He really was hoping for a response from you.  

He knew that it was very childish and sad to be so giddy for a letter, but he couldn’t help but get excited at the prospect of another note.  It was refreshing to be able to talk to someone who wasn’t a felon. Someone who wasn’t there in person yet still reached out to connect with a corrupt scanderal such as himself.  

Which is why when the usual mail carrier came down the cells, cart in hand with envelopes, pictures, money and presents for inmates, Jungkook found himself holding his breath and wishing for the first time ever that the carrier would stop at his cell.  

He had never been on the receiving end of such transactions, he had no one on the outside to look out for him.  But the faceless recluse that had reached out to him in a cry for companionship had fogged his mind, leaving hims restless and jittery.  

Could it be that he found a genuine friend?  

One that didn’t use him for his reputation (unlike his former childhood friends) and accepted him as the fuck up he was.  

“Letter for a Jeon Jungkook?”  The middle-aged man paused in front of the barren cell, sticking a pristine white envelope through the metal bars.  It was almost comical the joy that bursted through his chest and the way he leaped to attrive the holy piece of material.  As if it glowed bright in the grim and grey limbo that he was stuck in.

Not being able to withhold the anticipation, Jungkook quickly took the letter to his bunk and carefully slit it open.  

‘Dear Jungkook,

Words cannot express how thankful I am that you answered my pathetic call for help…’

The writing was noticeably neater than the first letter.  Jungkook noted with a smile how much longer this one was prior to the last.  The inmate forced himself to pore over every detail at a slower pace, not wanting to accidently skim past any vital information yet also wishing to savor the ritual.  

You seemed very blindly kind to someone who was a wretched crook.  In fact, you claimed to be very grateful to hear from little old him.  The feeling was utterly foreign, the idea that someone was out there that genuinely wanted his friendship, someone who genuinely wanted to know his most bland personal preferences, who was practically pleading for his written company.  It made him feel wanted. After some thought he decided that he quite liked the new feeling. Even at his worst; locked up for a lifetime sentence, you went out of your way to kill his loneliness. He almost giggled when you told him of the disorder that the world had labelled you with, it was awfully funny to him that you both were called mentally unstable.  You two now had that in common as well. He felt a sudden stab in the gut when you mentioned your sister. He guessed if he had to identify the emotion it would be closest to sympathy or guilt. He supposed he felt...bad for your loss. Jungkook smiled widely.

Yes!  That’s it!  He felt bad for you!  

God if the psychologist who said he had no emotions could see him now...

Towards the end of your writing, you mentioned not being a ‘looker’.  As if the paper itself burned him, Jungkook dropped the object with great haste to dig through the envelope.  You had sent the picture! He almost forgot that he even asked for such thing.

And there it was, a small 4x6 printed image of a lovely face smiling shyly at the camera.  

Your face was small and round, skin serene and creamy with its (porcelain/olive/honey/amber/cinnamon) hued pores that was the canvas for your darling features.  Your nose was benevolent and perched regally as well as perfectly centered amidst the sculpture that was your appearance. The bridge of the blessed feature dipped discreetly and softly, complimenting the luminous orbs that were vividly painted with a the crispest shade of (color) that he’s ever had the pleasure of witnessing.  The enchanting irises were artistically framed by magnetizing dark eyelashes that were as long as they were seductive. Somehow he just knew that the colors supplied by whatever commercial printer didn’t do the color-pads of your eyes justice, imagining the shiver that will go down his spine when he could be bare to them in their full and unfiltered glory.  They held a humane gentleness but still….a simmering witt was also bubbling under the surface. Overhead the eyes were carefully groomed eyebrows that were neat and shapely, one was elegantly arched in a expression of somber joy.

Underneath your nose was a pair of nectarous ruby red (or flowery pink) lips that looked perfectly cushioning to any lucky man who would have the chance to collide theirs with yours. Your pristine and snow-white teeth were barely poking out, show casting your shyness even when plastering on a friendly smile.  It’s as if you were unable to let yourself be one-hundred percent bare even in something as basic as a grin. He wondered what kind of mellifluous sound would erupt from such a devine cavern. Your (color) hair was sadly put up, unable to flow freely in the still-frame image. Even though he had very little to study, he still knew that he would want to (straight hair; run his hands through your silken strands) (curly hair; bounce the fluid swirls of your playful mane).  An odd urge to inhale the scent of your shampoo was what Jungkook felt next.

Lost in his own self-induced trance, he didn’t realize that he had been staring for so long until he felt a shadow loom over his figure.  

It was his cellmate and suddenly the infatuated man became all too aware of his slightly ajar mouth and his widened eyes that were stuck on the flimsy printed picture that was tightly held in his grasp (as if terrified that someone would steal the chef d'oeuvre...in an abode of criminals, this fear was somewhat relevant).  Quickly, he masked his expression to that of usual indifference.

“You’ve been sitting there staring for like eleven minutes.  You good?”

He just nodded, not a fan of frivolous speech or furthering conversation with people he cared none for.  Still, the fucker persisted.

“You sure?  Your girl didn’t send you something naughty or something, right?”  This was said in a matter of humor, an attempt to relieve the dark aura that Jungkook seemed to exude in every social interaction.  However, the serious face that Jungkook had on gave the other the impression that he had hit the mark precisely. Joon’s jaw dropped and an eager grin formed at the corners of his lips.  

“Really?!  No way! Can I see?”  The over-sized goon attempted to stride forward, hands already out-reached to grasp at the first smut he would’ve seen in a long time.  Out of primal instinct to keep what was his away from the snubby hands of others, Jungkook pulled back. But the fool had enlarged limbs and this meant his lengthy arms were very capable of plucking the picture off of Jungkook’s safe grip.  

Greedy, Namjoon ran his eyes over the photo.  His grin slowly slid off as he realised that it was indeed nothing sexual.  Nonetheless, his eyes lingered far longer than Jungkook cared for….before promptly returning the image to it’s rightful owner, whose jaw was clenched and teeth now grinding at the recent events.   

“Who is she?”  

“My pen-pal.”  Jungkook promptly answered whilst hiding both the letter and photo under his pillow before placing his head on it, staring up at the bunk above him.  

“Damn, if I’d know that I could’ve gotten someone like that….”  A brief pause as Joon climbed up his bed as well. “I definitely wouldn’t have thrown mine away.”  

Jungkook felt the familiar agitation hit him, tongue pressing against his cheek and he wondered if it was too late to request a cell change.  

The lights went out and ponderings of what to write back filled Jungkook’s mind along with the bewitching photo that was just directly under his head…

--

Opting not to go to breakfast, Jungkook stayed within his cell.

He elaborately printed his response back to you.

‘Dear Y/n,

I thought you were a very smart person but obviously not…’  

The inmate was sure to make you aware of how breathtaking you were, but also very careful in tip-toeing around just how gorgeous you were to him.  He could have written a dozen novels about your exquisite appearance alone, but obviously he was unable to do such thing. He didn’t want you to think he was a creep and halt all communication with him.  In an effort to get closer to you, Jungkook added some sentiment in regards to your loss, adding an anecdote about his mother for dramatic effect.

Now, it was time to fulfill your wish to see him as he had seen you.  

He had no problem with such request.  Not that he ever paid attention to such pointless gossip, but he had always heard whispers of how handsome he was.  Jungkook didn’t consider himself to be a little Fabio on any scale, but he knew he wasn’t hard on the eyes of the opposite sex.  The trouble was, how exactly would he be able to send a photo?

After a year in prison, you get to learn that there are two ways you can survive in such element.  You either adapt or you crumble.

The fittest of the inmates learned real quick how to make prison into their home.  Some men have been here so long that they grew connections and were able to bring some things from the outside world in.  

Jungkook made plans to visit one the older inmates, knowing that he could trade a candybar for a favor of sneaking a photo out to you.  For now, he folded his letter and placed it in the envelope, awaiting his picture before being shipped off to the mailroom.

--

‘Dear Jungkook,

…..I guess you’re not the worst face I’ve seen….’

Jungkook smiled as he fondly traced the words that you have written onto the paper only days prior.  He imagined your endearing face scrunching up into a thoughtful expression as you scribbled your response back to him.  You were funny and he couldn’t deny the sense of pride he felt when you admitted to his attractiveness. In the past, he never gave a fuck if people thought he was the next Ryan Gosling or the ugliest mug they’ve ever seen.  But he felt a weird sense of relief behold him when you said that you indeed thought he was good-looking. He didn’t want to imagine what he might’ve felt if you called him ugly or stopped talking to him after seeing his face.  

But that was not the best aspect to be seen within your writing.  

The best thing that caused his chest to erupt in a warm and fuzzy feeling was when you agreed that you also felt a connection between you two.  That you found him to be ‘marvelous company’ and you enjoyed his letters. This just confirmed his suspicion that you were somehow tied together.  That you two were meant to stumble upon each other in the most unconventional way. Jungkook was sure of it, that you two have defied the odds that cruel reality set against you ‘mentally unstable’ pair and found peace along with understanding within each other.  

Jungkook didn’t know how to describe you.  Surely a ‘pal’ wasn’t it.

You were like another half of him.  

Like you both have fallen from the same star and were unfortunate to fall on this damned earth. Surrounded by the bizzare ‘humans’ and called odd for not being one of their species.  Jungkook decided then and there that you two were mates.

And yes, Jungkook meant it in the primal and borderline barbaric ways that animals did. He would prove his worthiness as a male specimen, he would shelter and feed you, he would breed and produce offspring with you.  Regular people would look at this plan and consider it cave-man like, but he thought it was considerably more romantic this way. Animals mated for life and were not afraid to get murderous when someone threatened this sacred bond.  What was so wrong with such animalistic viewpoint? Humans were the worst type of creature and he was not at all interested in their fake way of obtaining a lover. And he got the sense that you weren’t either. Dates, chocolates, flowers?  How is it that those things were put on a pedestal as a grand show of affection but having a genuine connection with a person was not? Jungkook couldn’t strain his brain to understand such mindset.

This all left the forefront of his mind when he read to the last parts of your letter.  Eyebrows going up in surprise at the ‘P.S’ adage that was never before seen from you. His smile slipped off his face when he saw what you wished.

You wanted to know how he landed himself in prison.  

Now….that was a touchy subject.  

He really didn’t want to scare you away.  

You were too understanding, too alike to him for Jungkook to ever want you to run away.  He knew that no matter how much he could try, his crimes were inexcusable. Even the holiest of saints would hinder their forgiveness.  

Jungkook came to the conclusion that it would be best to tell a white lie until he had more of a connection with you to reveal the truth.  

Sure, he was utterly enthralled by you but he didn’t know how deep your affections lied with him.  He just needed more time to spin a perspective to fill your ear with, he needed to get his claws deep within you, he needed you to be as dependent on him as he was with you.  Jungkook decided to create a fake story to keep you close to him.

Jungkook smirked and grabbed a pen and paper for the next letter.  

--

‘Dear Jk,

My day to day is also lifeless, I’m afraid…’

It was lunch time and Jungkook sat alone in his usual corner of the table, mystery meat forgotten in favor of absorbing the new letter that you had produced for his addiction.  

The first paragraph had the psycho inmate smiling as he pictured you in your tiny apartment, dressed in comfy clothes doing the most mundane things.  He liked to spend his free time just imagining what your comfy ‘nest’ was like, picturing your tiny frame skipping around it. You sitting on a sofa, bundled up in blankets and one of his oversized sweaters, book in hand and steaming hot cup of hot chocolate in the other.  You in the kitchen, humming some tune in your dulcet voice as you attempted to make him a home cooked meal, frowning when you realized that you had not followed a certain step correctly like the cook book said. You laughing at the movie that played on the television screen while you both reach into the popcorn bowl at the same time.  What Jungkook wouldn’t give to live in the little nest with you.  To occupy the same cocoon that you created.

He often found himself fantasizing about being the brave one for you.  

The one who would go to the outside world on your behalf.  He would get you groceries, get a 9 to 5 to pay the bills, go out at 3 am to get you lady products or any random craving.  Wouldn’t that be nice? It would be similar to a caregiver role. Him taking care of you so you just had to stay your pretty self at home, keeping it warm and pillowy for his return.  You would be so thankful for his willingness to go out into your worst fear for the sake of your happiness.

But then, as the letter continued, Jungkook’s mood soured.  

Your mother had violated your space and made you feel awful.  

Jungkook felt rage in that moment.  

He never held so much hatred for someone he had never met before.  

He instantly knew that he didn’t like your mother.  

A piercing sensation thundered upon his chest.  The cursed image of your sweet face covered in tears fogged his mind’s eye.  

God helped anyone who fucked with you.  

Jungkook folded the letter and put it in his pocket, shoveling some tasteless cafeteria food to distract him the familiar hellish itch that screamed at him from underneath his skin.  

Later that day, Jungkook responded with a letter of his own.  

He attached the drawings that he had mentioned to you, somewhat bashful that for the past weeks all he had been able to draw was you.  But he brushed the feelings off and focused on another task; getting you to start calling.

He would often see inmates taking up phone booths, talking and laughing with loved ones from the outside for a couple minutes at a time.  Jungkook wanted that for you two. He wanted to hear the blessed voice that he knew you had, and he wanted you to become familiar with his as well.  After all, you would be hearing it a lot in your lifetime.

--

‘My Dearest Y/n,

I’m sure you must’ve gotten busy, why else haven’t you written in a week?’

Jungkook was slowly becoming irritated at the lack of mail he has been receiving.  It had been five days since you had responded and Jungkook felt anxious at your sudden silence.  You were a sweetheart and would never abandon him. You weren’t like those other wretched people, right?  No! You couldn’t be.

Jungkook shook his head and mentally cursed himself for even thinking that for a moment.  

You must have gotten busy.  

Maybe your mom didn’t give up on pestering you.  

--

‘My Dearest Y/n,

Where have you gone?  You haven’t forgotten about me have you?’

Jungkook couldn’t bear the silence.  He was slowly growing restless. He needed the stimulation that was your communication.  Without it, he had no new material to fill his mind. No new scenarios to daydream about.  NOTHING to get him through the day in the colorless cell that began to taunt him. He attempted to distract himself with the picture of you as well as your 

former letters that now had tear stains because of his new habit of crying over them, knowing they might be the last he ever gets from you.

--

‘Y/n,

This isn’t funny anymore….’

Jungkook was not only uneased, but now he was worried.  Thoughts of what could’ve possibly caused your silence now haunted his mind at night when he attempted to get what little rest he could.  Time was only worsening his growing paranoia each day that he didn’t receive a letter.

He knew you lived alone and had very little outside communication with anyone.  The main ones being him and your mother. Jungkook could only assume that your mother and you would be taking a break due to your mother’s mental breakdown.  And that left him. Stuck in a penitentiary with no way to reach you. He nearly punched the brick wall of his cell when he came to the realization that something could’ve happened to you and no one would’ve known.  If you didn’t answer this letter, he didn’t know what he’d do.

--

‘Dear Jungkook (or should I say Easter Bunny?)

I know what you did.

I know that you lied to me.

I know you’re a murderer.  

Friends don’t lie to each other, Jungkook.

I think it’s best if we find different Pen Pals.

All my best wishes, Y/n.

The letter fell to the ground as Jungkook stared in shock at the absurdly short and cold answer he got from you.  

He underestimated you.

You found out.  

Jungkook felt his temper flare as well as his breathing.  

He’d be damned to let you go.  

You were soulmates….couldn’t you see that?  

Jungkook never thought he’d have to rely on this but he had no choice.  

In the cell block, there were some people whom have been there for 30 years, and other for 30 days.  Prison 101 is to not fuck with the guys who had time under their belts. It was best to respect them and acknowledge that they have connections.  But respect was the last thing on his mind as he stormed into the tiny cell room of an old geezer whose been committing crimes since before Jungkook was even born.  

The older man was used to people coming to his cell, usually asking about how to get hands on a cell phone or how to get the precious kitchen duty to sneak food.  Over time, the man humored many childish inmates with some insider tricks. Almost everyone had talked to him at some point, but Jungkook was one of the very few whom did not approach him seeking an easier ride.  Thus, he was shocked to see the young and deadly figure swoop into the area, eyes dead and jaw clenched.

“You’re going to do something for me.”  Jungkook said this monotonously while maintaining eye contact.  The older man couldn’t ignore the shivers that went down his spine but he still acted calm, knowing you couldn’t show weaknesses to the younger and violent inmates.  

“Is that so?”  The older quirked a brow at Jungkook though the rusty mirror and went back to shaving his face.  The younger was behind him and just tilted his head and stepped forward, still staring at the man through the reflection of the glass.  

“You are going to sneak me out of this joint.”  

This caused the older to laugh, not believing his ears at such a ludicrous request.  

Jungkook came up behind the older, mouth close to his ear and eyes lifeless and inky as they held the older’s through the mirror.  

“Listen here you senile fuck, I know that you know who I am and what I did.  It’s your best interest to listen to what I tell you. Would you like to hear a secret?”  The petrified and frozen man nodded, not having the balls to disobey or look away. “I never told the jury that I didn’t murder those people on my own….I had a partner.  A partner who is still out there and would surely take care of your pretty little daughter I hear you talking on the phone to.”

Jungkook smiled as the man grimly agreed to do whatever he wished.  

Now, he just had to inform you of his upcoming arrival.

--

‘My Dearest Y/n,

I see you found out about the nickname the hideous press gave me.

Well….this type of revelation is best talked over in person.  

I’ll see you soon.’

Author’s note; so....both JK and Y/n have mental problems, just to clarify.  Also, this wasn’t part two bc I think of this as just the other half of part one.  There will still be a part two and three.  Please let me know what you thought bc a full inbox makes for a happy writer.  It’s challenging to write for a Y/n character bc the point is for you guys to identify with her in the story and I wanted you guys to feel like you truly are her so when I did the part where Jk becomes very obsessed with the pic, I wanted to add details but obvi not everyone has the same characteristics so I added diff options...pls let me know what you thought of this.

[lavoleur-blog]

TAG DROP 1.

[ecotone99]

This Night

A serial killer is on the loose in my town. The victims have all been kids, violently stabbed from my junior high and the police have not been able to pin down a particular suspect. The sex offenders in the area were put under police surveillance and had interviews, but all were cleared. The police looked at felons with a violent background, but no connections were found. They even began profiling kids who may have somehow committed these heinous acts. They looked at the kids with disciplinary issues, kids that were bullied and could be killing in vengeance. My brother was even questioned due to a social media spat he had with classmates over the perceived color of a dress. Police were taking no chances.

An 8th grader was actually apprehended by police one night after being caught peering through a fellow students window. He was released after he was only found with a tissue paper, no weapon in sight. The town was horrified, the police were mystified and their was virtually no physical evidence left at each crime scene. The only thing known was that the killer would attack at night.

The town has implemented a curfew, but two more murders have occurred this week and last minute thorough checks around the house have become commonplace. Much like many of the kids and parents around town, I’m genuinely terrified when my head hits the pillow at night and I close my eyes, thinking of an unknown future .

This night I won’t even have that opportunity. This night I can feel a panic attack coming on as I hear the sound of footsteps echoing in the silent night. I hear the distinct sound of my old creaky bedroom door opening. I’m frozen in fear and all I can do is gaze ahead of me. My brother and I lock eyes in mutual terror. That’s because this night there was another murder and I’m outside my bedroom window with a knife.

submitted by /u/chitown12076 [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/shortscarystories/comments/cdati7/this_night/ via Blogger https://ift.tt/30BbxcR

[hereticaloracles]

Fuckstrology: Aqueerius

Helios– Biiiiiiiiiiiitch…. Let’s talk about some Aqueers (Aqueri? Aquariums?). Now, I have a lot to say on the matter, as I tend to have a type, and it is typically Aquas. They are like catnip to me, and I cannot resist them. Aquarians have this intoxicating, magnetic draw that just pulls you in. They are iconoclasts, rebels, and they have really terrible hair most of the time. Like, really bad.

Now, this whole post is going to be biased, but then again so is the series in general. I really, really, really like Aquas. That being said, there has not been a one of the bastards who hasn’t ended up breaking my heart. Still, they are the ones I have had the greatest attraction to and chemistry with. Lord, protect me from what I want….

Aquas are fun, sexy, and flirty. Unfortunately, they do this all without trying or being aware of it- They just think that they are being friendly and are shocked to wake up and they are accidentally married. When they actually are interested in someone, literally all their charm and poise go flying out the window and they become dumb, deaf, and awkward as all hell. Also for some reason, they lose control over their speaking volume. The jury’s still out on that one. When they actually can seal the deal and take someone home, Aquariums are actually really great in bed. They want to make sure that they are pleasing their partners and that they make the sex something to remember.

Okay, now onto the part you all live for- My trashy romps with the signs and how I failed to make it work with them. *Shoots whiskey* So, after my ludicrous failure with my Capricorn ex, I kind of fell into a hookup/fwb thing with my first real Aqua ex. I’m not in the mood to skirt around anything so let’s call him TJ because that’s his name. This bastard gave me some of the greatest sex of my life, I won’t hide it. He was damn good in bed, and we were both into each other. Neither of us liked commitment much though, so I left his queeny, Holy Spearit- loving ass behind. Thus started a torrid, on-again-off-again thing with us. The annoying thing is that the universe seemed to be hell-bent on us being together, having me literally run into him in the most ridiculous scenarios and occasions. He asked me to go on vacation with him to a resort in Key West, and we had a lot of fun (including my first orgy and the first time I ever hooked up with a porn star!) unfortunately I was still under 21, so I couldn’t truly drink or do things like going into the strip clubs they went into. It did, however, cure me of any remaining feelings that I had for the asshole, as he would literally bring people to fuck him while I was in the bed we were sharing. He also didn’t like the fact that I was far more popular at the resort than he was (What can I say? Tops have more fun!) and ended up sticking him with the entire bill for the hotel, drinks, and food. Fun fact, he is also where the rule came from to never do the chart of anyone I was dating/fucking, because when I did his it made it weird and helped the relationship to decay. Later on, we would continue to randomly connect in the most unintentional times and ways, but never did we truly connect again. I gave him some great sex but never made the mistake of getting invested.

This was a reoccurring theme with me, as it turns out. I just remembered another Aqua ex, this one even further back. Let’s call him B, and he could honestly be considered the first guy I ever fell for (which in hindsight explains SO MUCH). Now, he and I went to high school together (I know, I know. Let me tell the story) and I ended up falling in with his group after crushing hard on my lovely Sagittarius best friend, who was the first person I ever came out to as bisexual. There was a party at his house where unspeakable acts occurred that will only be referred to as “Mexico”. I fell in love with him shortly after that, but there was a problem- He had a girlfriend. In fact, his current girlfriend was the result of him cheating on his previous girlfriend, and apparently that was his pattern. We spent a lot of time together, and he knew how I felt. One night he confessed that he felt the same (while we were walking to his girlfriend’s place), and from there we started sneaking around behind everyone’s back. We kept this up till he graduated, and it was some of the best sex I have ever had. We also had some pretty explosive arguments as well. The emotional connection was far more one-sided on my part, but again I was a high-schooler.

Last but not least, we have my longest-running relationship, J. I dated this guy for almost two years. It was honestly magical. We got together because of our mutual love over nerd stuff, and I seduced him with Doctor Who quotes over Grindr. We had an extremely emotionally fulfilling relationship, and for the first time, I had someone to show off to friends and could honestly make a part of my life. I won over his friends as well, and it felt like something with some actual potential. Hell, we even went to London together! Only one problem- We would never have sex. In the entire time we dated, we had sex one and a half times. In two years. I know, its absolutely nuts, but I was young and in love. And I was incredibly faithful, even when we opened up our relationship to other people. He was incredibly unstable emotionally and was prone to manic mood swings- which he would take out on me. I was a prisoner in the relationship, and he was brutally emotionally abusive, yet still, as it came to an end I agonized over whether I should or shouldn’t leave him. The final straw came when I wanted him to meet my parents on my birthday, but he decided that he would rather spend the weekend with a 350 lb ginger bear (large fat and hairy gay man, for the uninitiated) than spend my birthday with me. So I broke up with him on my birthday. I came to find out later that he was not being faithful to me, and we never had sex because he was only attracted to black men, I was the only white guy he ever dated. After we broke up, he went off the deep end and started working for Amway. He alienated all his friends, and no one spoke to him so he came crawling back to me. I tried to be friends again for a while, but he got incredibly upset at me for taking a job opportunity that came suddenly and would need me to relocate to California for a while. He called me every vile name in the book as I left him in the dust to go recover in the sun, where I met my porn star ex. Last I heard J was dating a meth-addicted ex-felon, who was both a drag queen and a stripper, but who also was extremely keen to get me in bed since he hit me up several times on Grindr to ask me to “load up his poz hole with my white stud load”. Also, he sent me his dick pics- I’m not impressed; The myth about black guys isn’t always true. Best of luck boys!!!

Artemis-  So, for our fans that do not know, yes, I, Artemis, am very much an Aquarian.  It is quite tragic, honestly, that it seems to be common fashion for Aquarians not to fuck other Aquarians.  “Been there done that,” I guess is what we usually think, unless the fellow Aqua has some strangeness in the chart that we haven’t gotten a taste of yet.  We like the new, we like the curious, and we are not done exploring until the day you slam the cover of our casket.  And then some, because, you know, the next dimension we move on to probably has it’s own set of sexual adventures…

I reached out to a few ex lovers because, although I’ve never fucked a fellow Aquarian, they have all obviously been through the ringer with me:

Libra Ex, “Go fuck yourself, you cold, selfish bastard.”

Alrighty then, we are off to a lovely start.  I mean, I would have guessed there would be much more to say from the perspective of a pillow queen!  They are the one getting the whole damn show, after all.  And although she may not admit it, I believe our brain sex was off the hook.  And fuck, do Aquarians love brain sex!  One of our favorite past times is seeing how hot and bothered we can get someone without even touching them.  King/Queen/Kahleesi of experimentation, Aqua is the scientist with laser eyes who inspects your every frac(tal)tional movement for all of your soft spots. The water-bearers are represented by the Angel (or perfect human), perched high above in the clouds, observing all of you mere mortals as you go about our business of flesh. Aqua is very much into the eroticism of distance. For us, the mind is flesh and eroticism starts there.  And speaking of voyeurism…

Capricorn Ex, “…………. you’re the reason I’m like this.  You’re the reason I will never feel complete again.”

Aye, this Cappy ex and I participated in some strange voyeuristic acts.  Hell, I still want that video tape back.  If not, I hope she fucking burned it in a funeral pyre alongside my fucking heart and all of the things I ever gave her.  Both Aqua and Capricorn have giant walls of ice that you must get through in order to experience the deep passion that is brewing underneath.  We both want to know if you can handle what is behind the dam before we let the flood gates down.  This is usually why Aquarians are thought of as cold and uncaring – because we know it has to be light and fun or we will suck you into some fucking black hole with our sexuality that you can never come out of again.  We wont just have your body, oh no – we don’t stop at that.  We want your mind and especially that soul of yours.

Aqua knows that distance is needed to build sexual energy. An Aqua will prod and tease you in all the places where she knows you can’t touch her (like work, school, your parent’s house) until you have no choice but to take her in the back of the car, at noon, on the side of the road somewhere. And that’s just the way we like it.

As a side note, what in the fucking hell does that response even mean?  Is she now totally and completely insatiable?  Is she desperately filling the void I left inside of her with bad sex and office hours?

Capricorn Ex, “I knew you would hit me up again.  I’ve been waiting.”

BAIL BAIL BAIL BAIL BAIL WHY DID I THINK CONTACTING HER WAS A GOOD IDEA?  WHY WHY WHY?

I didn’t even bother contacting my Cancer ex because who the fuck wants to deal with those water works.  I mean, I love emotions and intensity, but if it’s just emotions with no intellectual structure surrounding them then it is literally pointless for an Aquarian.  We will run for the fucking hills if we don’t have that mind connection when water signs vomit their love all over us.  Fuck, I love poetry and love letters, but not without catering to my sapiosexual nature first.  But hell, I do remember that our sex was very good…  that is, until I ran out of things to talk / argue / debate / analyze / muse about.  Then the sex dried up as well.  I mean, fuck, we are an air sign after all.

Aries Ex, “I will say you give amazing fucking head and it was always fun eating a ton of mushrooms and fucking for hours, but I thought you told me I was dead to you and I should never contact you again?”

Oh right, I totally did.  And sex on psychedelics, I mean, who doesn’t want to try that at least once?  Aquas are forever the ones who march to the beat of their own drum, and our sexuality is no different. We really don’t give a fuck what is appropriate or conventional in love making. We will do whatever strikes our fancy, and we will never stop surprising our partner. Aquarius is known as the sign of kink for good reason. We are the masters of experimentation, so don’t ever be afraid to bring something up to us that you would like to try.  We have probably thought about it before and have an instruction manual to go with it.

I contacted my Taurus ex, but I think she is still sore about me forgetting to take my Buddhist mantra ring off before fucking her…  I mean, I was super in the moment?

Taurus ex, “If you want to know what sex with an Aquarian is like, maybe go fuck yourself.”

So, as you can see, Aquarians kinda burn bridges after relationships / sexual encounters.  The thing is, we go in very intensely (har har) so when we cut ties we need to sever completely so we can go all in intensely with the next lover.  So we get two kinds of exes:  the kind that never wants to speak to us again, and the kind that stalks the living shit out of us for the rest of our lives.

Leo Ex, “Did I ever tell you that you took my virginity?”

*click*

So, yes, us Aqua have a strange sort of swagga.  Who doesn’t like the hot loner coasting through town on their way to distant lands? Aquarius is a visitor from somewhere far beyond here, and their brand of love making is strange and exciting. We can see it in their mannerisms, their likes and dislikes, their eccentric way of communication. They are not from here, and we are intrigued. And our earthly ways are intriguing to them as well. They really just want to know how everything feels, how everything tastes, and are all for the experimentation between pleasure and pain.

Pisces Ex, “I’m still not sure why you never did sex magick with me.  We had so much potential.  We were born from the same star, you and I.”

Maybe, you know, the whole melding of the souls thing with someone I wasn’t whole heartedly into wasn’t something I wanted to take lightly?  I know Pisces just wants to dive into the well of the world, but at least get me some emotional fucking lube first, gawed damn.

So the list goes on and on and on, but I decided to opt for some good news for the finale 😉

Current Gemini Girlfriend, “I don’t even know where to start. One minute we’ll be staring into each other’s eyes, getting lost in love, and the next I’m thrown on the bed and we turn into beasts who can’t distinguish fabric from flesh. If I have to use one word: amazing.”

Aquarians tend to be severely misunderstood. They call the water-bearer heartless, alien, off-beat, and contrary. They say she is a stubborn ice queen, prepared to dissect each of your layers until she can arrive at some self deluded state of “knowing.” What they don’t understand about Aquarius is that she feels TOO much. She feels everything and everyone all the time, and must place a wall up or she will swallow everything up like the sea. She is the veins, the rivers, the tributaries pumping from the passionate, lion heart of Leo. Her eroticism is all encompassing. Her love is the force of the entire planet.

Fuckstrology: Aqueerius was originally published on Heretical Oracles