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whatdoesshedotothem · 2 years

Text

Wednesday 21 November 1832

6 10

11 ½

F51° at 7 10 very thick and hazy – the light just beginning to try to peep thro’ the fog – ready in an hour – reading the courier newspaper of last night till very near 8 – then breakfast – had done before my father came – Mr. Mitchell the land valuer came about 8 ½ and staid an hour – agreed that on Mr. Carr’s giving the 1st refusal of Godley I should say I would apply to Mr. Mitchell to act as my agent in the business – the buildings might be worth £200 or £300 – would value the place for me on my hearing from Carr – Valued the land proposed to be purchased at Northgate at 7/. a yard – said I was lucky in selling the land for St. James’s church – Oates did not want to lose the job, so pushed it on – on saying that 12/6 and last 11/6 had been giving per yard for land near mine, he owned it might be worth more but said I should not get my price 15/. a yard – yet owned that it was intended, to bring the Keighley road out by [Stannery] and into Broad street north parade in 4 or 5 years and thus my land would

SH:7/ML/E/15/0152

be very much improved in value – advised me to take a ground rent of 6d. a yard – yet allowed that the feoffers of Waterhouses’ charity tho’ they had 6d. a yard for Waterhouse street had just stopt the sale of some more ground at that price thinking it not enough – said these ground rents were worth 30 years purchase – advised me by no means to build myself – mentioned the case of Collins (but without name) but owning the man was not a tenant of mine – no remedy for selling off, but to commence an action on the mans’ leaving the farm for damage done to it – the state of the farm when he entered and what he had paid on entering should be known, and all that he had sold off taken account of – but as there was an agreement and he had afterwards refused signing it yet this would be brought forward on a trial at York, and probably made to stand good – all this went by the common law of the land, and custom of this part of the country – one must look to the terms and trials for precedents – particularly Armytage (Sir George) versus ----- about 14 years ago, and some other cases – all very uncertain – those fields at the bottom of Horton street called grease fields – the ground worth 8/. or 10/. a yard – the fields in Lister lane not worth more than £3 a D.W. Doubtful whether Wortley will come in, or not – at 9 ½ went down to Pickles and his son John who began this morning – soon called home to Metcalf, Linen draper, in Waterhouse street to whom let my father pew at St. James’s church – to enter next Sunday – pay the same rent as the adjoining pews – he thought that was 40/. a year – and Hinscliffe too was waiting for me – ended in his bidding one £230 an acre for the coal at the top of the hill – will be about 2 acres – anxious to begin as soon as possible – but I gave him no hope that the person to whom I had given the 1st refusal would let him have the coal even that price but said he should give something more or else not have it –

Hinscliffes’ scale of expense on getting coal is as follows he observing that one should only reckon 4 ½ instead of 5 corves out of a square yard

Banking and pulling per dozen 1/6 one dozen = 16 loads

.:. Ditto ditto per score = 1/10 ½ 20 loads = 1 score

getting (colliers) -------- = 4/. 1 score = 1 ¼ dozen

Pheying … = £4.16.0 per acre

Taxes …. = £5. or £6 per acre

wear and tear (he said) = 1/. per score (I said impossible – 6/. a score quite enough) –

5 men working regularly will get an acre in a year

p. 289 Hinscliffes’ estimate of expense makes the cost per score = about 7/. per score

suppose to sell at 7/. a corve = 11/8 per score – 7/. expense = 4/8 clear gain

1 acre or 1210 scores at 4/8 = £282.5.8? if from this is to be taken ½ a corve per square yard (i.e. 4 ½ instead of 5 corves per square yard) then suppose £30 to be taken off the coal leaves £250 odd so at the worst Hinscliffe paying me £230 will gain £20 per acre tho’ he went away declaring he could gain nothing – before he went Joseph Wilkinson came and staid above 1 ½ hour till 12 40 – but we were very good friends – promised to give me on Saturday a direct and final answer what he would about the water he wishes to have the bridle road in Lower brea, wood stopt and will engage that it shall be done at the Sessions without opposition – he and Samuel Holdsworth (2 of the surveyors) will attend the Sessions in its favour – then came Wilson to beg off doing the library passage till Monday – then Charles Howarth – the oak tree of Miss W- that Washington valued at 5/. and her joiner Woodhead at 6/. C.H- has 9ft. of wood in it, and is worth 10/. – should have been worth 15d. a ft. but is coarse and only fit for posts – had it been a fine straight pole would have been worth 2/3 a ft. – at 12 50 went back to Pickles – ½ hour while he dined, I was in my walk – then all the rest of the afternoon with the men – John (had James Smiths’ son thrashing in his stead) planted 200 hollies and 16 box and helped to move laurel and 2 large thorns planted on the slope at the top of Charles H-‘s acre field – lastly (having in the morning stubbed and carted to Lower brook Ing wood rails about 15 hazels) planted out 2 or 3 large hazels in the wood – quite too dark to see at 4 ¾ - I staid out walking till so dark I could scarce keep on the path and came in at 5 40 – dinner at 6 ¼ - afterwards wrote note to ‘Mr. Carr White Swan Halifax’ in answer to his of this morning that came just after Mr. Mitchell went away to say he had no objection to sell the Godley farm, and gave me the preface – said I should be glad to be the purchaser and wrote by the bearer of my note to Mr. Mitchell the landvaluer to desire him to act as my agent, in the business, and call upon Mr. Carr on the subject immediately to ask his price – then to ‘Mr. Mitchell, Land valuer, cowmarket Halifax’ a note explanatory of the above but if any saw the note nobody could get that Mitchell had been spoken to on the subject before – wrote also note to ‘J.T. Holroyde Esquire solicitor H-x’ as follows ‘Shibden hall – Wednesday 21 November 1832. Sir – I beg to inform you that my price for the land proposed to be purchased is fourteen shillings a yard, or a ground rent of seven pence a yard – I am, sir, etc. etc. A Lister’ – sent off these notes by John at 8 – afterwards calculating about coals etc. and wrote all the above of today till 9 ¾ - then went into the other room and staid talking to my aunt till 10 35 at which hour F49° - very thick, soft, dark day but good for planting - Kind letter tonight 3 pages of letter paper franked by Lady S- de R- thanks for the shawl which seems to have given great pleasure - pothered by Mr James Wortley’s thanks for my good wishes and hopes to make my acquaintance I shall say I am going to York or be out of the way by some means or other I am only afraid he will call Mrs. Briggs my late steward’s widow call this morning

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wasalwaysagreatpickle · 4 years

Text

Saturday 22 March 1834

8 1/2

12 1/2

Up at 6 for 1/2 hour with bowel complaint and therefore went to bed again – fine morning no white frost even at 6 a.m. Fahrenheit 50 1/2 at 9 25/.. a.m. at which hour breakfast –

Mr Parker came about 9 1/2 from Mr Pollard to say that a man of the name of Rawson was going to build a steam chimney near Saint James’ church – would be a detriment also to my property – would I join Mr Pollard and the feoffers of Waterhouse’s charity to buy the ground of the man? Could have it for £400 and should not lose more than £20 or £30 a piece by it in selling it for cottages – I declined having anything to do with it – Mr Parker brought mark town’s lease which I signed –

Spoke to him (Mr Parker) about the sale of Staups property – advertised page 2 Halifax guardian of this morning – the public house and Staups buildings and William Green’s house and 23.1.19 (days work, quarters, pecks) make lot 6 – should like to buy it – without saying by whom mentioned having £8000 bid for Northgate without the sheep-croft or 2 fields above Halifax – he thought it a pity to let so much money lie dead, or rather producing so little as at present – said I was not much inclined to let it go at that price – would rather buy what I wanted and borrow money for the time and pay off by and by – at present the funds too high and I did not want to have a large sum without well knowing what to do with it –

Just finished breakfast and then came Washington with plan of bar house – thinks it will cost £100 – he is employed about the sale of the Staups property – a great many people for the public house – would sell for 2 or 3 times more than its worth – Told him to consider what I might venture to give for it – would get one of the Crownest far-off tenants to bid for me – thought it would fetch above £3000 – there were the coals of Fold farm – said I did not want to have anything to do with them – well! but I must find a loose for them – yes! said I, know that – he thought they were to go with the public house and if I could get them for very little it might be worth while – very well! I replied you can consider what you think them worth to me – Told him what I had asked for Northgate – was the land worth 8/. a yard – no! but worth 7/. taking it all together – at this rate, and buildings valued at £1000 the land 6.1.0 (days work, quarters, pecks) = 196000 yards = £6860.3.0 + £100 = £7860.3.0 and he thought it worth £8000 – 6.1.8 (days work, quarters, pecks) = 18816 + 784 + 242 yards = 19842 yards at 7/. = £6944.14.0 and at 8/. = £7936.16.0

Washington brought my father a plan of Butterworth end farm which he values at about 40 guineas per annum says there is hardly a fence left – buildings in very bad repair - £500 wants laying out – Out a little while with Pickles and his 5 men – and with the 2 masons and a boy – finished getting all the walls low enough before noon – then began the [heading] next the palisades in front of the buttery – with Charles and James Howarth -

At my desk at one – wrote all so far of today till 2 10/.. – from then to 7 10/.. at which hour dinner and coffee in 3/4 hour and afterwards to 9 1/4 wrote and sent (in a parcel with Washington’s letter he brought this morning and the pattern glove sent to him to Whitley’s by Miss Rawson) 5 pages and ends to ‘Miss Walker’ parcel to ‘Miss Walker, Heworth Grange, York, per mail 22 March 1834’ and wrote letter to ‘Mr Thomas Thorpe, 38 Bedford Street, Covent Garden, London, Postage paid’ ‘Shibden Hall Saturday 22 March 1834. ‘Sir – I have received the parcel containing number 467 £2.2.0, and 4 volumes of catalogue for which I am much obliged – on shewing this letter to Messers Hammersleys and co. they will pay you the above sum of two pounds and two shilings - I am, sir, etc. etc. etc. A Lister’ –

And in the course of the afternoon once or twice down stairs with the mason and Charles Howarth and much reading encyclopaedia articles monophysite and Nestorians and Chapter 47 Gibbon (volume 8 octavo) respecting the ‘monophysite controversy’ Miss Walker asked me the meaning of – she had been reading the Quarterly of Guizot’s new Edition of Gibbon – wrote as follows ‘monophysite controversy’ more particularly opposed to the Nestorian as the catholic was opposed to both – monophysite from 2 Greek words signifying one nature – the monophysites maintained that there was only one nature in Christ, the divine and human being mystically united in one – the Nestorians maintained that there were 2 separate persons in Christ mystically united in one – the catholics maintained ‘Christ in one person and in 2 natures’ ‘But don’t pother your head about such matters which are, perhaps, too high for us all’ – Kind letter

But the kindness is more in the quiet confidential manner of writing than any thing else and might be seen by all the world except tell her never to look even half cross��at me and being only quiet and gentle she will have more of her way and I less of mine than anybody but herself would believe –

Said I had written as I told her to Mrs Lawton but …. had not sent the letter which should now be rather modified –

That is will not tell Mariana that Miss Walker and I are positively engaged and advise Miss Walker not to name it as she asks my leave to do to Steph say he had better hear it from Mariana than from Miss Walker or me –

Wrote the last 22 lines – till 9 3/4 – 1/4 hour with my father and Marian an hour with my aunt till 11 p.m. Fine morning – [lowering] about noon, and rain between 2 and 3 for about an hour – afterwards tolerably fine, and rain in the evening – Fahrenheit 49 1/2˚ at 11 p.m. – reading the newspaper till 12 –

#anne lister #ann walker #1834 #anne lister code breaker

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skgway · 4 years

Text

1832 Nov., Wed. 21

6 10/..

11 1/2

Fahrenheit 51º at 7 10/.. Very thick and hazy – The light just beginning to try to peep thro’ the fog – Ready in an hour – Reading the courier newspaper of last night till very near 8 – Then breakfast – Had done before my father came –

Mr. Mitchell, the land valuer, came about 8 1/2 and staid an hour – Agreed that on Mr. Carr’s giving me the 1st refusal of Godley I should say I would apply to Mr. Mitchell to act as my agent in the business – The buildings might be worth £200 or £300 – Would value the place for me on my hearing from Carr – Valued the land proposed to be purchased at Northgate at 7/. [shillings] a yard – Said I was lucky in selling the land for St. James’s church – Oates did not want to lose the job, so pushed it on –

On saying that 12/6 [shillings/pence] and last 11/6 [shillings/pence] had been given per yard for land near mine, he owned it might be worth more but said I should not get my price 15/. [shillings] a yard – Yet owned that it was intended to bring the Keighly road out by Stannery and into Broad street thro’ North parade in 4 or 5 years, and thus my land would be very much improved in value –

Advised me to take a ground rent of 6 d [pence] a yard – Yet allowed that the feoffers of Waterhouse’s charity tho’ they had 6 d [pence] a yard for Waterhouse Street had just stopt the sale of some more ground at that price thinking it not enough – Said these ground rents were worth 30 years purchase –

Advised me by no means to build myself – Mentioned the case of Collins (but without name) but owning the man was not a tenant of mine – No remedy for selling off, but to commence on action on the man’s leaving the farm for damage done to it – The state of the farm when he entered is what he had paid on entering should be known, and all that he had sole off taken account of – But as there was an agreement and he had afterwards refused signing it, yet this would be brought forward on a trial at York, and probably made to stand good –

All this went by the common law of the land, and custom of this part of the country – One must look to the terms and trials for precedents – Particularly Armytage (sir George) versus –––––– about 14 years ago, and some other cases – All very uncertain – Those fields at the bottom of Horton Street called Grease fields – The ground worth 8 /. [shillings] or 10 /. [shillings] a yard – The fields in Lister lane not worth more than £3 a daywork. Doubtful whether Wortley will come in or not –

At 9 1/2 went down to Pickles and his son John who began this morning – Soon called home to Metcalf, Linen draper, in Waterhouse Street to whom let my front pew at St. James’s church – To enter next Sunday – Pay the same rent as the adjoining pews – He thought that was 40 /. [shillings] a year –

And Hinscliffe too was waiting for me – Ended in his bidding me £230 an acre for the coal at the top of the hill – Will be about 2 acres – Anxious to begin as soon as possible – But I gave him no hope that the person to whom I had given the 1st refusal would let him have the coal even that price, but said he should give something more or else not have it –

Hinscliffe’s scale of expense on getting coal is as follows he observing that one should only reckon 4 1/2 instead of 5 corves out of a square yard

Banking and pulling per dozen 1/6 [shilling/pence]

∴ [therefore] Ditt]o ditt]o per score = 1/10 1/2 [shilling/pence]

getting (colliers) –––––––––––––––– = 4 /. [shillings]

pheying . . = £4. [pounds] 16. [shillings]. 0 [pence] per acre

taxes . . = £5 or £6 per acre

wear and tear (he said) = 1 /. [shilling] per score (I said impossible and 6 /. [shillings] a score quite enough)

one dozen = 16 loads

20 loads = 1 score

1 score = 1 1/4 dozen

5 men working regularly will get an acre in a year

The main throws run from NorthWest dipping to South East according to the general opinion between sea and sea. Hinscliffe’s estimate of expense makes the cost per score = about 7 /. [shillings] per score

Suppose to sell at 7 d [pence] a corve = 11/8 [shillings/pence] per score – 7 /. [shillings] expenses = 4/8 [shillings/pence] clear gain

1 acre or 1210 scores at 4/8 [shillings/pence] = £282. [pounds] 5. [shillings]. 8 [pence]?

If from this is to be taken 1/2 a corve per square yard (i.e. 4 1/2 instead of 5 corves per square yard) then suppose £30 to be taken off the coal leaves £250 odd, so at the worst Hinscliffe paying me £230 will gain £20 per acre tho’ he went away declaring he could gain nothing –

Before he went Joseph Wilkinson came and staid about 1 1/2 hour till 12 40/.. – But we were very good friends – Promised to give me on Saturday a direct and final answer what he would do about the water. He wishes to have the bridle road in Lower brea wood stopt and will engage that it shall be done at the Sessions without opposition – He and Samuel Holdsworth (2 of the Surveyors) will attend the Sessions in its favour –

Then came Wilson to beg off doing the library passage till Monday – Then Charles Howarth – The oak tree of Miss W– [Walker]’s that Washington valued at 5 /. [shillings] and her joiner Woodhead at 6 /. [shillings]. Charles H– [Howarth] has 9 feet of wood in it, and is worth 10 /. [shillings] – Should have been worth 15 d [pence] a foot but is coarse and only fit for posts – Had it been a fine straight pole would have been worth 2/3 [shillings/pence] a foot –

At 12 50/.. went back to Pickles – 1/2 hour while he dined, I was in my walk – Then all the rest of the afternoon with the men – John (had James Smith’s son thrashing in his stead) planted 200 hollies and 16 box and helped to move laurel and 2 large thorns planted on the slope at the top of Charles H– [Howarth]’s acre field lastly (having in the morning stubbed and carted to Lower brook Ing wood rails about 15 hazels) planted out 2 or 3 large hazels in the wood –

Quite too dark to see at 4 3/4 – I staid out walking till so dark I could scarce keep on the path and came in at 5 40/.. – Dinner at 6 1/4 – Afterwards wrote note to “Mr. Carr White Swan Halifax” in answer to his of this morning that came just after Mr. Mitchell went away to say he had no objection to sell the Godley farm, and gave me the preface – Said I should be glad to be the purchaser and wrote by the bearer of my note to Mr. Mitchell the land valuer to desire him to act as my agent in the business, and call upon Mr. Carr on the subject immediately to ask his price –

Then to "Mr. Mitchell, Land valuer Cowmarket Halifax" a note explanatory of the above, but if any saw the note nobody could get that Mitchell had been spoken to on the subject before – Wrote also note to “J.T. Holroyde Esquire solicitor H–x [Halifax]” as follows

"Shibden Hall – Wednesday 21 November 1832. Sir, I beg to inform you that my price for the land proposed to be purchased is fourteen shillings a yard or a ground rent of seven pence a yard – I am, sir, etc. etc. etc. A Lister" –

Sent off these notes by John at 8 – Afterwards calculating about coals etc. and wrote all the above of today till 9 3/4 – Then went into the other room and staid talking to my aunt till 10 35/.. – At which hour Fahrenheit 49º –

Very thick, soft, dark day but good for planting – Kind letter tonight, 3 pages letter paper franked by Lady S– [Stuart] de R– [Rothesay], thanks for the shawl which seems to have given great pleasure – Pothered by Mr. James Wortleys thanks for my good wishes and hopes to make my acquaintance. I shall say I am going to York or be out of the way by some means or other. I am only afraid he will call. Mrs. Briggs my late steward’s widow called this morning.

[in margin] page 289

#anne lister #anne lister code breaker #shibden hall 1832

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thisdiscontentedwinter · 6 years

Note

There is a wonderful poem about the nonsensical spelling of the English language. It's called "The Chaos" from Gerard Nolst Trenité

Thank you! I’ve read this before but I didn’t know who the author was.

Here it is:

The Chaos (by G. Nolst Trenité, a.k.a. "Charivarius"; 1870 - 1946)

Dearest creature in creationStudying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verseSounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse

I will keep you, Susy, busy,Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye your dress you'll tear,So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,

Pray, console your loving poet,Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, beard and heard,Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.(Mind the latter, how it's written).

Made has not the sound of bade,Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague youWith such words as vague and ague,

But be careful how you speak,Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,

Cloven, oven, how and low,Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery:Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles.Exiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing.Thames, examining, combining

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,Solar, mica, war, and far.

From "desire": desirable--admirable from "admire."Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier.

Chatham, brougham, renown, but known.Knowledge, done, but gone and tone,

One, anemone. Balmoral.Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel,

Gertrude, German, wind, and mind.Scene, Melpomene, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,Reading, reading, heathen, heather.

This phonetic labyrinthGives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Billet does not end like ballet;Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet;

Blood and flood are not like food,Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet,Which is said to rime with "darky."

Viscous, Viscount, load, and broad.Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation's O.K.,When you say correctly: croquet.

Rounded, wounded, grieve, and sieve,Friend and fiend, alive, and live,

Liberty, library, heave, and heaven,Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven,

We say hallowed, but allowed,People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover,Between mover, plover, Dover,

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,Chalice, but police, and lice.

Camel, constable, unstable,Principle, disciple, label,

Petal, penal, and canal,Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal.

Suit, suite, ruin, circuit, conduit,Rime with "shirk it" and "beyond it."

But it is not hard to tell,Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,Timber, climber, bullion, lion,

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, and chair,Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous, clamourAnd enamour rime with hammer.

Pussy, hussy, and possess,Desert, but dessert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants.Hoist, in lieu of flags, left pennants.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rime with anger.Neither does devour with clangour.

Soul, but foul and gaunt but aunt.Font, front, won't, want, grand, and grant.

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger.And then: singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, and gauge,Marriage, foliage, mirage, age.

Query does not rime with very,Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post; and doth, cloth, loth;Job, Job; blossom, bosom, oath.

Though the difference seems little,We say actual, but victual.

Seat, sweat; chaste, caste.; Leigh, eight, height;Put, nut; granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rime with deafer,Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,Hint, pint, Senate, but sedate.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,Science, conscience, scientific,

Tour, but our and succour, four,Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, guinea, area,Psalm, Maria, but malaria,

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,Dandelion with battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay.

Say aver, but ever, fever.Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.

Never guess--it is not safe:We say calves, valves, half, but Ralph.

Heron, granary, canary,Crevice and device, and eyrie,

Face but preface, but efface,Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging,Ought, out, joust, and scour, but scourging,

Ear but earn, and wear and bearDo not rime with here, but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even,Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, clerk, and jerk,Asp, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation--think of psyche--!Is a paling, stout and spikey,

Won't it make you lose your wits,Writing "groats" and saying "grits"?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel,Strewn with stones, like rowlock, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight,Housewife, verdict, and indict!

Don't you think so, reader, rather,Saying lather, bather, father?

Finally: which rimes with "enough"Though, through, plough, cough, hough, or tough?

Hiccough has the sound of "cup."My advice is--give it up!

32 notes · View notes

thecynicalm · 6 years

Text

Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos (1922)

This poem is great for training your pronunciation if you’re not a native speaker of english and I love it. Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation, I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy; Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear; Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it! Just compare heart, hear and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written). Made has not the sound of bade, Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague, But be careful how you speak, Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak ,

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir; Woven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore, Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles, Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining, Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far.

From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier, Topsham, brougham, renown, but known, Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel. Gertrude, German, wind and wind, Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather. This phonetic labyrinth Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed, Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul, Peter, petrol and patrol?

Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki. Discount, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK. Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia. Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot, Buoyant, minute, but minute.

Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition; Would it tally with my rhyme If I mentioned paradigm?

Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy? Cornice, nice, valise, revise, Rabies, but lullabies.

Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious, You'll envelop lists, I hope, In a linen envelope.

Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit. To abjure, to perjure. Sheik Does not sound like Czech but ache.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover. Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice,

Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, penal, and canal, Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it", But it is not hard to tell Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion, Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer. Pussy, hussy and possess, Desert, but desert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants. Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb, Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

"Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor", Making, it is sad but true, In bravado, much ado.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.

Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic. Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close, Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle. Mind! Meandering but mean, Valentine and magazine.

And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many, Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier, Tier (one who ties), but tier.

Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring? Prison, bison, treasure trove, Treason, hover, cover, cove,

Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled. Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw, Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet; Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon, Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.

Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling. Evil, devil, mezzotint, Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention, Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws, Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did, Funny rhymes to unicorn, Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley. No. Yet Froude compared with proud Is no better than McLeod.

But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial, Troll and trolley, realm and ream, Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh, But you're not supposed to say Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid, How uncouth he, couchant, looked, When for Portsmouth I had booked!

Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty, Episodes, antipodes, Acquiesce, and obsequies.

Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor, Rather say in accents pure: Nature, stature and mature.

Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly, Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan, Wan, sedan and artisan.

The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w. Say then these phonetic gems: Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em- Wait! I've got it: Anthony, Lighten your anxiety.

The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it; With and forthwith, one has voice, One has not, you make your choice.

Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger. Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury, Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth, Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners Holm you know, but noes, canoes, Puisne, truism, use, to use?

Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual, Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height, Put, nut, granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late, Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific; Tour, but our, dour, succour, four, Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it Bona fide, alibi Gyrate, dowry and awry.

Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean, Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion, Rally with ally; yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver. Never guess-it is not safe, We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.

Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie, Face, but preface, then grimace, Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging; Ear, but earn; and ere and tear Do not rhyme with here but heir.

Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan, With the sound of saw and sauce; Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting. Respite, spite, consent, resent. Liable, but Parliament.

Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen, Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk, Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper), G of gibbet, gibbon, gist, I of antichrist and grist,

Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers. Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll, Polish, Polish, poll and poll.

Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky. Won't it make you lose your wits Writing groats and saying "grits"?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale, Islington, and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict.

Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father? Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??

Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

#linguistics #english #poem

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yogurtbattle · 6 years

Text

Because English pronunciation is random

Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos (1922)

Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation, I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.