#fighting w myself bc on one hand. get everything done in a fit of self destructive tendencies. but things will be done.

[dandyshucks]

why do i keep getting energy and mood crashes these past few days auugghh 😭😭 (<-, they ask, knowing full well they have not given themself a day of rest in two weeks and continuously push themself to do more cleaning than they have energy for)

[fivour]

ppl who call jotaro’s personality boring or bland make me

ugh

like you can have ur opinions. u likely dont mean any harm and thats fine idc im not attacking you for not vibing with jotaro kujo, that would be silly

but it’s really damn obvious that jotaro is severely depressed.

and it always makes me feel weird to see people call his personality boring (i dont mean character development, that’s a different thing entirely) bc as someone w depression it’s so nice to finally see a character that is......... like me. you’d think w how common depression is authors wouldn’t be such misinformed cowards but a lot are. so jotaro is very dear to me. ironically it took almost a year for me to realize i relate to him so hard bc there’s like a 99.99999% chance he’s depressed.

depression is more than just being sad & people can be very high functioning and successful despite depression so let’s get that out of the way while i explain in unnecessary length why i believe this whether it was intentional by araki or not.

1. it makes you angry & moody depression and anger go hand in hand. irritability is a symptom for a reason, baby! it can make you very aggressive and give you a very short fuse (or the opposite, make you repress it). god knows i am aware of this lol. even the smallest things can set off intense anger. and jotaro’s aggressive responses r a notable feature of his character. not to mention that sometimes when you get really angry, it feels better than feeling nothing; sometimes you end up seeking it out just to feel something.

2. it makes you feel like a problem jotaro worries excessively, albeit for a reason but it also fits depression’s MO, that people he loves will be hurt bc of him. and a lot of people, myself included, lash out in anger when deeply upset, whether they are truthfully angry.

he is the problem. he is always the problem, in his mind. is that self centered? maybe. but it is a common thought and it often comes from a place of deep self loathing, not exaggerated self importance. he keeps people away bc if he gets involved with them, they get hurt; and this is only proved time and time again & he’s allowed to internalize that. which eventually ruins his family (ahem jokes about bad dad jotaro are not funny, they never have been, thank you and moving on.) and sometimes i wish he had the chance to cope with his shit and [cries]

3. it makes you apathetic and empty people also think jotaro is emotionless which honestly? maybe that could be the case. depression is very consistent (otherwise it’s usually something else, like a form of bipolar). for some people, myself included, the feeling they feel consistently is apathy or emptiness. instead of ‘neutral’ you just feel... void of anything at all. i would describe it as a cloud hanging over your entire life. sometimes it rains, sometimes it pours. but the cloud is always there. his apathy seems to be the main reason people hate him and it’s one of those things that i just cannot imagine the other side on, you know? it’s such a part of my own life.... i never realized people thought that was ‘unrealistic’.

there are many moments when you can feel happy, joyful, or peaceful; they are just few and far between. even though i am depressed, i have things that make me very happy. sure it’s one thing, but it’s a thing! for jotaro, that seems to be marine biology and family. although araki has some weird obsession with family being super important we will pretend that family is important to jotaro, not araki. anyways. these arent reasons to say he isnt depressed, bc there are some of the few things he seems to love. there are also ups and downs to your mood, as is there is for someone without any mental health issues.

4. it can accompany trauma and psychological issues jotaro grew up with a dad who was, as far as we can guess, never home. a dad so absent that joseph hated him and you know what joke im about to make there. yes im aware it’s also bc he ‘took his daughter away’ bc joseph was born when women were property and racism was super cool hashtag vintage but it is likely deeper than that for reasons that this post isnt about.

but.

sadao was an absent father and put work first and i can tell you from experience that destroys your self esteem as a child. you feel unimportant. you feel like you don’t come first to your parent. it certainly does not make for a happy childhood and any psychologist will scream at u that childhood is absolutely key in developing ur brain. theres also the fact that jotaro 100% got bullied for ‘not having a dad’ bc it was the 1980s and actually nvm that still happens haha hashtag vintage.

besides being depressed, this is also the example of a father that jotaro had growing up (ppl like to act like joseph lived w them lol no joseph was also a distant father figure, if one at all), so him being away from his family all the time? he probably didnt give it a second thought. beyond the fact that the subconscious exists and we dont consciously decide everything we do (which jojo fans in particular are super bewildered by idk what it is with yall), jotaro is also the type of person to avoid pondering his own personal problems.

so anyways........

i am done raving.

daddy issues aren’t a fucking joke i will fist fight you Right Now.

i love jotaro kujo.

thank u mr araki for making him.

goodnight

[edwardamcullen]

Almost the entirety of Red is about Bellward #confirmed. Pass it on.

this feels like a challenge to prove this right and...that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Except I’ll extend this to Twilight as a whole. pls keep in mind i obviously know taylor didn’t write these songs about these characters i’m just IN LOVE with the similarities and how they relate.

1. State of Grace “And I never saw you coming and I’ll never be the same”/"We learn to live with the pain mosaic broken hearts, but this love is brave and wild”/“You come around and the armor falls, pierce the room like a cannon ball now all we know is don’t let go”/“This is the state of grace. This is the worthwhile fight. Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right. These are the hands of fate. you’re my achilles heel. This is the golden age of something good and right and real” I think these lyrics fit Bellward in that...1) this love...was....real and new to both of them and not something they ever saw coming but it was scary but too real to let go of and not want to fight for. There’s so many risks in their relationship but “this is the worthwhile fight. love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right.

2. RedI made a gifset. This is New Moon!Bella - “Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes tell myself it’s time now, gotta let go. But moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head, burning red.” bc the girl LITERALLY saw him everywhere. and also “Loving him was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street, faster than the wind passionate as sin ended so suddenly” because when he left he took his whole world with her the entire time she was struggling to hold onto the memories. she was in the middle of such a :D point and everything was so good and in one instant it all fell apart.

3. Treacherous“This slope is treacherous this path is reckless this slope is treacherous I-I-I like it” this song is literally about sex and their relationship not being good but “nothing safe is worth the drive” which SCREAMS Bella and Edward like I don’t have to explain that tbh.

4. I Knew You Were Trouble...idk...bella knew he was trouble but shame on her because SHE LITERALLY WAS LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND when he left her....damn taylor really get specific 

5. All Too Well “It was rare I was there I remember it all too well” / “Time won’t fly it’s like I’m paralyzed by it. I’d like to be my old self again but I’m still trying to find it.” Is her the entire dark phase of New Moon. 

6. 22*scratches head while I try to think of something* “It’s miserable and magical” - lmao bella when wolves were magical but also she is literally miserable. (BY NOW YOU KNOW I DON’T THINK THIS IS SERIOUS I’M JUST HAVING FUN WITH THIS) 

7. I Almost Do“I hope sometimes you wonder about me”/”I just want to tell you it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you and every time I don’t, I almost do” Edward to Bella when he left. 8. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Togetherdeadass??? idk. Leah to Sam lmao. i’m kidding. no i’m not she’s never getting back with him he hurt her. except they weren’t on and off. She’s just never ever getting back with him. and she’s done w/ his excuses. etc. OH WAIT WEREN’T JESS AND MIKE ON AND OFF...them too lmao. 9. Stay Stay StayTHIS SONG IS SO PURE AND SO CUTE AND SO HAPPY. “you took the time to memorize me my fears my hopes and dreams I just like hanging out with you all the time.” every relationship ever. Also “It’s been occurring to me I’d like to hang out with you for my whole life.”

10. The Last Time“This is the last time I’m asking you this put my name at the top of your list” lmao fucking JACOB to Bella in Eclipse. Actually wait this could work. “You wear your best apology but I was there to watch you leave. And all the times I let you in just for you to go again.” wow....damn it really could be Jake to Bella 

11. Holy GroundI’m going to half make this about Jacob and Bella because “Tonight I’m gonna dance for all that we’ve been through but I don’t wanna dance if I’m not dancing with you.” could be them at Bella and Edward’s wedding. But this is actually a nice breakup song about it being good and never looking back and them both being respectively happy for each other and that’s just not the case. he calls her stupid and thrashes her like a rag doll and fucking grabs her by the arms. the moment was ruined.

12. Sad Beautiful TragicOH HOW NEW MOONBella: In dreams, I meet you in warm conversationB/E: We both wake in lonely beds, different cities (except edward doesn’t sleep)B: And time is taking its sweet time erasing youE: And you've got your demons and darling they all look like me (actually it could be bella too because she feels like a waste of his time and like he never even cared for her)

13. The Lucky OneLet me make this about Rosalie. “New to town with a made up name in the angel city chasing fortune and fame, and the camera flashes make it look like a dream”/ “And they tell you that you’re lucky but you’re so confused ‘cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used.” This entire song is Taylor’s fear of fame and the glamorous lifestyle turning into something that’s so ... scary and just not as good as it’s made out to be. That screams Rosalie. And just any of the vampires who would trade this “perfect” vampire life for a normal one.14. Everything Has ChangedB: All i knew this morning when I woke is I know something now know something now I didn’t before. (BELLA LITERALLY....REALIZING SHE’S IN LOVE WITH EDWARD honestly vice versa because this whole love thing was new for both of them)E: All my walls stood tall painted blue but I’ll take them down and open up the door for youB/E: All I know is we said hello so dust off your highest hopes. All i know is pouring rain, and everythig has changed. All I know is a newfound grace all my days I’ll know your face all I know since yesterday is everything has changed.

15. StarlightTHIS IS SO HARD ALSKDLAKS “Ooh ooh he's talking crazy/Ooh ooh dancing with me/Ooh ooh we could get married” bella when edward proposed LMAO. but no really the thing about Starlight is it pictures such a happy and forever-and-always blissful and magical love which SM paints with their whole eternity thing. “Don’t you dream impossible things” literally. because he’s a vampire. OMG WAIT “Have ten kids and teach them how to dream” ...rosalie and her perfect life she thought she had before everything happened.16. Begin AgainLet me.....pull a muscle while I REACH a bit. “And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid. I think it’s strange that you think I’m funny ‘cause he never did. I’ve been spending the last 8 months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end, but on a wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again” .......this is a REACH and a this I’m making shit up...but bella never really felt like herself or confident enough to be herself until she met the cullens and....idk...bella saw her divorced parents and she never reallly had a love to relate to so she really didn’t think love...was...a  thing...but w/ edward...it was.???/ i told y’all i’m reaching

if you wanna be like that you can make this about jacob when bella grows close to him after edward left her but tbh that implies that bella ...was in love with him....and that she stayed with him...and nah. i’m not doing that lmao sorry

The deluxe tracks??? The moment i knew is too specific it’s about him not going to Taylor’s birthday. that didn’t happen. “You should’ve been here and I would’ve been so happy” if pulled out of context might relate. Maybe Come Back Be Here being about them being apart but being in love COULD be B/E in New Moon but they were both very sad and this is more about missing the other one...pretend “I can’t help but wish you took me with you” is overdramatic bella missing edward when he hunts. I can’t think of anything for Girl At Home.

I’m sorry this was so long all you wanted me to do was pass it on I’M SO SORRY

[the-invisible-self]

I did this. Fast and dirty. Like a Rorschach Ink Blot.

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? I balance it exactly. 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yes. Like Buck Vu, I'm a fan of cold things in the cold. 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Anything. Pencils. Receipts. Other books. 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? In my mouth. 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Naw bro 6: do you keep plants? The ones that survive. (And some of the ones that don't.) 7: do you name your plants? Naw bro 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Shitposting. Lol not really. 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yep 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? All of the above. 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? Wouldn't you like to know? 12: what's your favorite planet? Earth 13: what's something that made you smile today? Smutty fanfiction. 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Messy and wonderful 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Naw bro 16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Spaghetti w meat sauce and LOTS of cheese 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? None 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I don't have friends. That's why I'm filling out 100 answers by myself. 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?nah bro 20: what's your favorite eye color? Brown 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. It's a bag of holding. With patches. 22: are you a morning person? When I'm not sick 23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Nothing. Or write. 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? My therapist. 25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? Can't say I have. 26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?minnetonka Mocs 27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Isn't “bubblegum” it's own flavor?Whatever. I prefer spearmint. 28: sunrise or sunset? Sunrise 29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Shitposts 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Absofuckinglutely 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I used to steal my husbands socks Bc they were cool & I thought it was cute to wear his things, but he left me and now I don't have a husband or any socks to wear. So. Yeah. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I fell asleep. 33: what's your fave pastry? Chocolate. Or cherry. 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I unfortunately still have all my childhood folks Bc my hoarder parents mailed them to me 3 years ago. 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Gimme college rule loose leaf and some reliable black ink 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? STRFCKR 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I like it clean but it's always a mess 38: tell us about your pet peeves! Sticky hands 39: what color do you wear the most? Red? 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I bought a ring that's a big open circle and I wear it instead of my wedding ring Bc fuck my ex

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? The night circus 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! No. All coffee shops are precious and magical. 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Myself & a pack of smokes 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? I don't 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yep 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. There is nosuch thing. All puns are beautiful. 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Cold potato salad 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Knives/bleeding. Yep. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Yep. David Bowie. 50: what's an odd thing you collect? Magnets of female villains. 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Buck vu. Claire de lune. 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? All of Tom’s memes 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? No heathers? No beetlejuice? Yep - loved it as a kid pulp fiction? Yep - triggering what do you think of them? 54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My kid 55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? I don't prove myself. I just am. 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Flaws 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I always love that song. Except when I have a headache. Right now I have a headache...so... 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I don't have friends. Just Tumblr friends. And we don't drink together.But liz is the wine mom and chris is the vodka aunt. 59: what's your favorite myth? The Bible 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? Yes. Mary Oliver. All of her. 61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? A donut. An empty box that, when opened, I said was full of love. 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? No 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? not really? I like them inbrsknbow order but honestly idgaf 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Starlight 65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yes 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?Lilacs & daisies 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Peaceful 68: what's winter like where you live?gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty 69: what are your favorite board games? SETTLERS OF CATAN

70: have you ever used a ouija board? nah bro 71: what's your favorite kind of tea?Breakfast tea 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? Yep 73: what are some of your worst habits? Messy everything 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. deeply generous, but I'm afraid of taking too much… effortlessly beautiful, but a beauty that's not for me 75: tell us about your pets! My cat is a jerk who picks fights with all the other cats and hates babies. 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Nah bro 77: pink or yellow lemonade? Yes please 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? Nah bro 79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?Gave me a skipping stone from Spain Bc I reminded them of Amelie 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Brown. Yep. Idk it just felt right. 81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. In her head 82: are/were you good in school? Yep 83: what's some of your favorite album art? Pink Floyd 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Birds on my arm 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Used to. Xmen. 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Idk 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Fred estaire & ginger Rogers 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Abstract expressionism 89: are you close to your parents? No 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I busked. I loved it, but the good was horrible. There were more homes of dead authors than I had time to visit. 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? A rainforest 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?MOAR CHEESE 93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Pigtails 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?I don't know ppl 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Work while sick. Yay. 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I'm supposed to install updates? 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP cusp griffindor 98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Too long ago. Yes. I love hiking. 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. ::insert the beetles here:: 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Neither. Fuck that shit. I wanna live rn.