#finally finished the pre-execution of Chapter 1 after 9 whole days wtf

[unclegramp-ronpa]

Chapter 1! Who murdered HotDog Person? (CW: flashing gif, gore, blood)

[NO ONE'S POV]

A melody played all around the RV at 7:30 AM. Uncle Grandpa woke up in the same area where he discovered the corpse of HotDog Person. He took one peek at the dead body. Blood and brain matter are still all over the place. Pizza Steve woke up next to the bush where he threw up in. He heard Uncle Grandpa's quiet sobbing and hesitated to check up on him. He ended up reluctantly helping Uncle Grandpa up before a morning announcement was made.

"A body has been discovered! After you find evidence and chat about the culprit, or blackened as I call it, you all may report to the trial room for a group trial!" Monokuma announced. "Jesus, who would've been so demented to do something like this?" Pizza Steve asked Uncle Grandpa. Everyone arrived in time as Uncle Grandpa started to get used to seeing the dead HotDog Person. He took a deep breath and moved out of the way for the 16 other people to take a look at the gruesome crime scene.

"W-who would've done such a th-thing...?" Silk asked, with her hand on her mouth. "Oh... My god." Mr. Gus spoke while shuddering. Frankenstein groaned; "Yes, unfortunately." Mr. Gus then noticed the bloody metal bat that was used for the murder. He did a close inspection and grabbed it off the floor. "Hey, what are you doing?" Pizza Steve asked.

"Shh, we could use this as evidence. Maybe we can find a way to see who's fingerprints by looking at it." Mr. Gus answered, bringing the bat close to Pizza Steve's face. The ginger-headed man looked away as fast as he could. "But HOW does one do that, Mr. G?" Mooon Man asked, fiddling with his hoodie strings. Mr. Gus pondered for a moment before answering.

"I-I don't know..." He stuttered. Mooon Man's shades went down to his nose, revealing his dark green pupils when he heard Mr. Gus say that. "Pu-Hu-Hu!" a laugh interrupted the busy jungle area.

Monokuma appeared behind Uncle Grandpa. "Boo!" he said, scaring the old man. Monokuma had a quick chuckle after playing the prank and faced his direction at Mr. Gus, holding the bloody bat. "Well, Well, Well! The "ultimate" philosopher doesn't know what to do! I thought you were the smartest! Hmm, looks like we need a... TINY MIRACLE to figure this one, chief." he mockingly said and waited for the robot boy to come. "Did somebody say-" Tiny Miracle attempted to continue before getting interrupted by the half-dark rainbow, half-white bear.

"See if you can find the fingerprints, I'm going back to my office," he said before dashing out. "Continue the investigation!" Tiny Miracle took the bat out of Mr. Gus's hand and used his high-tech fingerprint-scanning vision on it. Before he could reveal the culprit's fingerprints, a piece of paper fell onto his head. He picked it up and read it.

"Oh dear, we can't reveal this until the group trials," he said in a sad tone. The group looked at the body and started looking for clues about who did the deed. Mooon Man held Flame Fieri's hand tightly as they helped each other by putting some of the brain matter into a plastic bag for scientific reasons (as told by Tiny). Pizza Steve looked the other way and tried ignoring them as he walked around the body "writing" things down in a notebook. "Hey, look out Pizza Steve. There's glass over there." Eart warned Pizza Steve, pointing at a broken pair of glasses. He looked down at the ground and crouched. "Bro, whose glasses are these?" He spoke, catching the gang's attention. Aunt Grandma took the glasses off the ground and looked at the gang. “These oddly resemble the ones CheesePuff Mike wears.” She muttered.

"Huh, and I just noticed that he isn't even here, how strange." She said, confusing them. "Wait, she's right..." Strawberry Moe-chi said before looking everywhere and started panicking. "WHERE"S CHEESEPUFF MIKE?" she yelled.

"You don't think it might be him, right?" Eart asked. Most of the group looked at each other in concern. "I mean, he is a huge meanie-head, but I don't think he would ever kill anybody outside of any shooting game he plays." Uncle Grandpa answered. "Uncle Grandpa, these glasses seem to belong to him, and he looks like somebody who would commit hundreds of thousands of war crimes." Seph jokingly commented as Uncle Grandpa caught sight of a piece of ripped clothing on the soft, grassy ground. Cheese dust was on it, heavily indicating the fault of the fat troll disguised as a human being.

Uncle Grandpa gasped and put his hand in his mouth. “So it IS him…!” He uttered. Beary Nice picked up the ripped clothing and inspected it. Suddenly, a human-sized trash bag fell on the floor followed by Monokuma. He opened the bag to let out a mortified CheesePuff Mike. “Damn you!” He shouted after being let out. “Pu-Hu-Hu! You can thank me later, Cheesy! I’m just here to see what kinds of evidence you all found!” Monokuma declared. Aunt Grandma and Beary Nice brought out the glasses and the ripped clothing piece to the robotic bear. “Hmmm, well that’s good enough. But what about THAT thing next to HotDog Person’s feet?” He said as he pointed to a recorder. “Huh?” Beary Nice said as he crouched and picked it up.

”What could be recorded in THIS old junk?” Pizza Steve commented. “Who cares? We’re running out of time, let’s start the class trial now!” Monokuma shouted as he pushed everybody out of the jungle area into the living room. “Go into here.” He said as he pulled the curtain to, what was the driving area, to an old elevator.

[UNCLE GRANDPA’S POV]

I looked at two of my best friends, Pizza Steve and Belly Bag, as they shrugged in union and went inside the elevator. Everyone, including me, went inside as well and Monokuma pushed the button going down and threw a glitter bomb on the floor, disappearing alongside the glitter.

”I don’t like it here anymore, Mr. Gus. The RV’s been turned into a killing game royale. I don’t want to die…!” I whispered to Mr. Gus. He assured me that maybe everything will be fine as long as we stick together and survive and that made me a little bit better, but not enough when I started questioning myself about what will happen at the trial and what will happen to CheesePuff Mike. “Hey, c’mon, Uncle Grandpa. You're the main character, nothing’s gonna happen to you.” Seph said as she bumped her elbow on my shoulder.

”While that is true, there are still a lot of stories where the main character or characters do die.” Mr. Gus informed Seph. They chuckled and put their hand on her hip. “Oh yeah, name 30.” Seph said in a joking matter. “Okay. Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, Julius Caesar, Macbeth, Atonement by Ian McEwan,” Mr. Gus started listing the stories that Seph jokingly commanded him to do. I shook my head and looked at Pizza Steve, Mooon Man, and Flame Fieri having a conversation.

”If I die, I’m not letting anybody get any shit from me. It’s PIZZA STEVE’S stuff, not anyone else’s!” Pizza Steve said. “Well, can I atleast get like an old shirt from you?” Mooon Man asked. Pizza Steve shook his head and crossed his arms. “How about that black and grey checkered notebook from your desk? I just like the cover, man.” Flame Fieri begged. Pizza Steve got madder and shook his head a second time. “FUCK no.” He said as pushed his hair out of his face. “That has Pizza Steve’s darkest secrets, not as you’d know.” Flame Fieri’s begging expression turned into confusion. “What kinds of secrets?” He asked.

”Deez nuts, how about that, huh?” Pizza Steve joked and turned away from the two. Mooon Man started laughing after hearing that joke. Flame did a facepalm and groaned. “That wasn’t even fucking funny!” He said as he shook his head.

Ding! The elevator door opened to reveal a trial room with 19 seats, with one that Monokuma was sitting on. “Good morning, my wonderful friends! Sit down and we can start deciding who killed Hot Dog boy!” He shouted. “HotDog Person” Beary Nice corrected the robot bear as he took a seat. He just laughed. “Tomato, tomato, what’s the difference?” Monokuma said. After everybody was seated, it was finally time for the group trial to begin.

I started shaking and heavily sweating in my seat. I KNOW who killed HotDog Boy PERSON, but I’m afraid he might blame somebody else! I’m so scared…

[NO ONE’S POV]

“Alright, let’s do another quick evidence check,” Monokuma said as he pulled out a bag with all the evidence everyone found. “We all already know the glasses, the clothing piece, AND the recorder, but we should know the other things you all have found. First up, a bag of brain matter. If you see closely in it, you could find a… microchip?” Monokuma said as he started passing around the plastic bag. “Wait a minute, THIS isn’t a microchip.” Belly Bag said as he pulled out a pair of tweezers painted black and green out of the brain matter-filled bag.

“That’s mine, sorry.” Flame said as he grabbed the tweezers and went back to his seat. “Next up, a few strands of brown hair and red hair,” Monokuma said. “Brown hair… Hmm.” Silk uttered and looked at CheesePuff Mike, who was blushing profusely out of embarrassment.

”Is something the matter, Michael?” She asked. “NO, F-FUCK OFF!” CheesePuff Mike said. “AND DON’T CALL ME THAT GAY ASS NAME!” He started heavily breathing and calmed down in a matter of seconds. “Let’s get back on track! Here we have the weapon used for the murder.” Monokuma said as he pulled out the metal bat from before, except the blood was cleaned off. “I cleaned it just in case. TINY MIRACLE! Can you give me the fingerprint scan?” Monokuma ordered Tiny Miracle. He gave the bear the paper. Monokuma read it and had a big grin form across his robot face.

”Say, these fingerprints look exactly like… CHEESEPUFF MIKE!” Monokuma shouted. Everyone went silent. “Uhh, dude, we already know that.” Pizza Steve commented. CheesePuff Mike shook his head. "No, you don't! It's... It was the guy with the..." He cluttered as he panicked. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THE REAL CULPRIT IS! CHECK THE RECORDER! HONEST TO GOD, IT WASN'T ME!!" Monokuma ignored his cries and passed the recorder to Uncle Grandpa. "Press play, Uncle G." Monokuma whispered. Uncle Grandpa unwillingly did so and played the recordings infront of everyone.

The first message said; "N'yollll! I just won the fight! Now that lame-o, Uncle Grandpa, is traumatized! Hashtag YOLO! L + Ratio! Fuck you, Uncle Grandpa! Walking with hotdogs still SUCKS and you are GAY!"

The second message said; "I'm back. Just wanted to say how much I wanna punch Uncle Gay-pa's friends. First of all, Pizza Steve is a tranny (AN: I can reclaim that cuz I'm trans) and he is ugly! Secondly, Mr. Gus is lame and stupid! Third, The big cat tiger girl is dumb and smells like pussy! Fourth, Belly Bag is mid! Coming from the giga-chad himself, CheesePuff Mike!"

The third and final message said; "Also, everyone is a bitch except for Aunt Grandma cuz she's sexy AND hates Uncle Grandpa as much as I do!"

Everyone slowly started staring at CheesePuff Mike as he began sweating profusely. "OH ALRIGHT, YOU STUPID CUNTS, I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING!" He shouted.

[FLASHBACK TO THE NIGHT BEFORE.]

"I was looking for a place to sleep and found the HotDog guy about to sleep in the jungle." CheesePuff Mike narrated. "But I wanted to sleep there, so I beat the shit out of him. He tried to fight back, but I hit him with the bat..." CheesePuff Mike finished bashing HotDog Person in the head and dropped the metal bat. He teleported out of the jungle before Uncle Grandpa and everyone else who heard the murder and into the living room where he went back to pondering about where to sleep. He felt something tug on his beige jeans and turned around to see the small robotic bear. "Good job, CheesePuff Mike. You are the first to kill somebody!" He whispered. 

"Oh, don't congratulate me, I did what I had to do for a place to sleep." CheesePuff Mike said. "Well, why aren't you sleeping over there?" Monokuma asked. "I heard somebody come over there, so I used that weird ass teleporter to get out of here." He answered as Mr. Gus woke up on the couch next to Seph. "What's going on he-" Cheesepuff Mike suddenly smothered Mr. Gus with a pillow, but didn't kill him. Mr. Gus passed out from nearly losing his breath.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

"I remember you smothering me, but I didn't know YOU were the blackened." Mr. Gus said as CheesePuff Mike rolled his eyes. "And you call yourself the ultimate philosopher. Aren't they supposed to be, I don't know, SMART?" He muttered to Moe-Chi, who was sitting next to him. "Leave me alone." She muttered back. "Okay, well I guess I'll start spinning this conveniently-placed wheel on the table to see who really IS the blackened!" Monokuma exclaimed and pushed a lever down and the wheel began to spin. Unsurprisingly, the arrow on the wheel landed on CheesePuff Mike.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE PROUD OF ME! I KILLED HIM JUST FOR... err..." CheesePuff Mike screamed. He started panicking. "LET'S GIVE IT EVERYTHING WE GOT, ITSSSSSSS PUNISHMENT TIMEEEEEEEEE!" Monokuma exclaimed. CheesePuff Mike started crying and screamed; "NOOOOOO!"