#fireize

[islelight]

whenever kairi’s hanging out with lea & isa she’ll intentionally sit between them in a very ‘make room for jesus’ kind of way.

[lightnull]

“there’s more out there, you just have to be patient.”

this room is quiet. not in the way that the abandoned mansion had been, with its silence broken by the shift of the rotting floorboards and the ghosts that weren’t her coming out of the wall —— there is a sense of peace, here. quietude gently broken by an open window, the breeze carrying the smell of salt on the air, the crash of waves from not so far away. it’s a space that’s hers that was given to her by her other half and it was —— meant to be a bedroom, perhaps.

she uses it as a studio, instead.

canvases litter the ground, propped against walls and against each other. some pristine and others a riot of colors and others a riot of greyscale and there’s a pile of unused canvases in the corner / a few frames in another. it’s a room that few bother to enter and fewer are allowed to enter and she stares at the oranges and reds and blues and purples that scream to her from this canvas. there’s paint on her hands and her face and when the door opens behind her she doesn’t quite start, but there is a tension to her shoulders : those who are allowed she’s attuned to ( save for xion on many levels ) and it’s —— an intrusion.

❝ hey, i’ve been looking —— ❞ a voice far kinder than how she had first heard it and she sees the vivid streak of red that he has before she bothers to turn and when she does : there he is. standing in the maw of the beast / on the precipice / eyes widened incrementally as if he realizes, all at once, that perhaps he shouldn’t be here.

yet he is, and her concentration is broken, and she holds a palette in one hand and a brush in the other and her face is placid and neutral and she thinks about a white room that doesn’t exist anymore. and one that does. and about his heart. the ties that bind it. the fact that ——

❝ she’s down at the beach, i think, ❞ or maybe she had disappeared again —— she reaches, subconsciously, for her heart and knows that she is safe and secure albeit not, precisely, where she is. if she wanted to —— if she concentrated ——

❝ oh, uh, thanks, ❞ he seems awkward, here. the way that he does, around her. they’re getting… somewhere, she thinks. a departure from acute discomfort at the knowledge that while he is kind he had been cruel to her and they’ve settled at a strange in between, standing at a crossroads and able to go any which way. in truth, naminé would likely leave him to his independent existence and never cross paths with him again if it weren’t for the fact that he is linked, absolutely and endlessly, to those who are linked to her.

to roxas, to xion : their best friend. to kairi : her brother.

( and upon that realization, upon kairi standing up and fleeing to him, to their long awaited reunion as BROTHER AND SISTER separated by space and time, she had wondered, abstractly, if that makes him her brother. technically, perhaps. practically, absolutely not. )

yet his bonds with them and the chains of his heart linking with theirs ensures his presence in her life and —— he’s trying, she thinks. trying to… atone? to prove that he’s a good person at his core? she doesn’t presume to understand. she doesn’t dare to assume that she knows.

he’s an intruder : but she isn’t indifferent to him. not here. not now.

❝ wow, this is a big upgrade, huh? ❞ he’s looking at her paintings and that’s not quite the invasion of privacy some may assume —— anyone can look at them. it’s simply that most don’t bother. they’re landscapes, mostly : places that she’s never been and places that she has been and a strange in between and much of the same, if you care to look. paintings of the ocean. paintings of the sunset. paintings of a clock tower. and again. and again.

a painting of a setting sun on the sea, just behind her.

❝ it’s easier, to paint things that i’m familiar with. ❞ an explanation he didn’t ask for / she offers nonetheless.

❝ yeah, of course. ❞ a placation she didn’t ask for / but he offers nonetheless.

a pause / a silence / she wonders if he saw the painting of whites and purples and reds, half hidden beneath a sunset scene of the ocean / and her : a trapped doll with clipped wings, still.

❝ y’know —— there’s more out there, if y’ever wanna see it, ❞ he means well, she thinks. he means well, almost always. he means well, outside of a castle in the darkness with its white halls and white walls and its cruel words and crueler smiles. ❝ you don’t gotta… uh… ❞

❝ i know, ❞ she cuts him off with ease and she is not the void that she has always been and she is not the wilting flower he had seen her to be and she looks at  him and he is a good person for all that he’s done bad things. she knows. she knows, always. the concept. the theory. yet the reality of it —— ❝ the forest that you and kairi trained in… it was beautiful, wasn’t it? ❞ and he’s trying / so maybe she can try, too.

far away the ocean crashes against the shore / and she imagines a forest.

@fireize // a meme?? and a prompt i… didn’t actually follow because i’m me

[lightmimic-a]

“Concentrate on my heartbeat. Don’t listen to anything else.”

@fireize

Conflict:  rage burning in her skin / underneath her artificial organs / perpetual  /  hurt and suffering loud and sharp and cutting like the crystals she once became.  Fingers twitching to grasp and break.  A child at once sure that she cannot deserve existence / love / them but also furious that she should have to believe that.  SACRIFICIAL LAMB DIED FOR THEM REMAINS QUIET FOR THEM SWALLOWS HER SUFFERING LIKE GLASS FOR THEM AND SHE IS TIRED OF SLICING HER THROAT AND STOMACH TO MANGLED FLESH FOR THE SAKE OF OTHER PEOPLE.  But can’t stop.  But won’t stop.  Conflict:  nervous and desperate and angry and hurting and compelled to break something / anything / herself if only to be sure that she exists and that she is powerful and that she has the strength to KILL ANYONE WHO TRIES TO MAKE HER A PUPPET AGAIN.

Conflict:  rage burning underneath her skin and the knowing that she cannot breathe a word of that suffering to anyone / to him.  What she feels is ugly and she knows and if they see how bad how sick how furious how weapon - like she is they will leave.  (  saïx and xemnas taught her well.  she knows the rules.  the requirements are different.  PERFORM OR DIE.  the requirements are the same.  the performance is different.  BE GOOD OR BE ALONE.  which is the same as BE GOOD OR DIE.  )  Conflict:  nervous and desperate and angry and compelled to break something / anything / herself and if she does not expel this riotous thing somehow then it will turn her into shrapnel and she will DIE.  But can’t speak it.

Conflict:  she remembers how it felt, back before, when Xemnas brought her back and remade her into a weapon and she couldn’t fight and he would kill her if she couldn’t fight and she grew desperate and she leeched the memories and the skills from him and ———

Berserk is difficult to control, is all.

It is loud and white noise and rage overwhelming her / and she helpless in the face of it.  A puppet to her own hurt / better that than a puppet to another / BETTER THAT THAN ALONENESS OR DEATH.  Another kind of drowning.

She sequesters herself away when she does indulges this torture (  a forest, this time, decimating trees  ) but she is not impossible to find.  She doesn’t notice him; not even when his keyblade is against her own, desperate to either stop her or protect from her.  Her blood roars.  SHE IS AWARE ONLY THAT SHE HAS A TARGET.  She doesn’t notice him past the white noise roaring in her ears and her body screaming screaming PUSH FARTHER PUSH FARTHER PUSH FARTHER PUSH FARTHER BREAK BREAK BREAK ——

She doesn’t notice him until her blade meets his body and he shouts in pain, the sound familiar and sick, and her mind twists and still screams but she pauses.  His blade returns the strike in the pause she offers; not to harm but to STOP.  She flies back at the force of it, landing on her feet and the fingertips of her free hand; crouched as though she’s half - feral.  Perhaps she is.  Eyes still bright and shining.

“Axel ——”  It’s a choke of a name, voice tight.  BREAK HIM BREAK HIM BREAK HIM.  NO.  I WOULD RATHER DIE.  She wills the keyblade away and in its absence her weapon hand curls so tightly that her nails leave red half - moons in the scarred expanse of her palm.  Her mind screams.  Her body screams.  SHE WANTS TO BREAK HIM.  “Stay back —— nononononono —”

“Xion!”  His voice is sick with hurt and worry.  Her mind screams.  Legs give out and she falls to her knees, fingers tangling in her hair and pulling hard.  She curls in on herself, eyes screwed shut.  SHE NEEDS TO GET OUT OF THIS PLACE / THIS BURNING BUILDING / THIS JAGGED RIBCAGE.  NEEDS TO GET BACK TO HERSELF.  SHE CAN’T.

“Stop it,” she hisses at herself.  The reverberating need to break something doesn’t lessen.  “Just stop!”  

She isn’t aware of him until there is a familiar hand on her shoulder; her head snaps up, a GROWL against her teeth.  Lips part to tell him to GET AWAY, SHE’S NOT SAFE, but before she can manage he’s on his knees before her, folding her into a tight embrace.  Her head against his chest.

“Concentrate on my heartbeat,” he says, voice low, perilously close to tears.  Her trembling, twitching hands wrap around him and dig into his back with force enough to bruise — BREAK HIM.  He doesn’t flinch.  “Don’t listen to anything else.”  Her shoulders shudder.  She wants to BREAK HERSELF.

But she tries.  Glowing eyes wide and staring at nothing at all, and she wills her grip to loosen and her body to loosen and she listens to his heartbeat, over - fast and afraid but STEADY.  He took her back to Xemnas, once, so that he could break her, and his arms feel like the safest place in the world.  She chokes out a sob.  He holds her tighter.

“I’m sorry —” she gasps.

“Shhh.”  One of his hands is gentle in her hair, brushing through the locks.  His voice is trembling, and his hand is, too.  He’s crying.  “It’s okay.  You’re okay, Xion.”

Her grip on him loosens.  Her eyes flicker and then return to themselves.  Her shoulders tremble and she listens as his heartbeat slows and her breaths turn to saltwater sobs.  She curls against him and wants to apologize, but she is crying far too hard to do anything but cling to him and love him and feel so, so, so sorry.

“Shhhh,” Lea murmurs.  “You’re okay.  I’m here.  I’ve got you.”

[doggonward]

nice ass, dog.

after a brief pause to look to his east, west, behind him, and forward to lea again, goofy tilts his head in piqued curiosity. “ well, gawrsh, lea. are you feeling alright? there’s no donkeys here at all! maybe master yen sid oughta let you take some time off. ” 

[sealedkey-blog]

fireize replied to your post “can i be your dad”

fucking your mom, shitlips

who’s my mom 

[keyfade-blog]

fuck you

[dicyde-a]

😘 Sm.Exy,

                                       𝐓𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬                                                          ↪ ( accepting )

😘 - peppers my muse with kisses

Unworthy and undeserving, affections donning him like an ill-fitting suit, his laughter guilty and hesitance pulling him to no avail. Kamui forfeited into him, too weak to fight back and say, these weren’t meant for me. They were bundled up in his quarters, away from prying eyes and wagging tongues, away from all who might chip in their two cents, from all who weren’t Lea, who weren’t Kamui, just them. His heart fluttered with the beating wings of the butterflies residing in his chest, his stomach, his head with each kiss that pressed somewhere new. 

They lasted no longer than a second, finding a new victim on his skin to adore, and Kamui loathed how ticklish he was when he nipped at places like his ears and neck. Lea was on top of him, Kamui nestled into the comfort of his bed with arms inconsistent in where they wrapped. As he moved, his arms moved, from his shoulders to his sides, to just having hands roam him, to arms folding back into him as he twitched from laughter, only to return back to finding new places to hold Lea what ever which way he could.

Lea was too kind for his own good. Lea was too benevolent, a very embodiment of all Kamui wished to be but knew he didn’t deserve. Fascinating, talented, affable, reliable, very things Kamui wished to convey, to know that his people may confide in his aptness— only to see that in Lea’s eyes and hopelessly fall into the image he’s long sought after. Is he truly worthy to hold him so dearly? Surely there are better candidates for their affection.

He was selfish. But how he laughed,   ` Iiiii think you missed a spot. ’

Kamui curled upwards and took a kiss from his lips, the only kiss that didn’t directly requite what Lea deserved. Amidst the addled nerves that wrought his insecurities and spit them out in the cesspool of gnawing thoughts, he cannot fight all he’s good at. To love, and to love, and to love evermore with all he’s got, no matter if it’s reciprocated, no matter if it’s wanted — he will love, and love, and love, because they deserve it. Not he.

` Is it my turn yet? ’

[withmight-blog]

XD

who invited the skinny red twink into my home.

[exposenseiarchive]

aizawea......leawa?

do i ship it?! let’s find out! accepting.

(suck) idk…….. i think lea is better with goofy, personally?

no but, actually! yes, of course i do, you… clown, writing a clown. being that it’s a crossover and a pretty random one, it probably wouldn’t have occurred to me if not for roleplay, but that’s a given i think and also doesn’t subtract from the fact that i do, genuinely, think they’d work well together. we’re still pretty early on in our ship, but knowing what i do about shouta, lea, and the plot we have going here – i think they have a lot of really interesting potential. outside of being absolutely the most chaotic duo i can imagine ( and in two very, very different ways ), i think they have enough common moral ground and same-vein motivations that a real bond could be formed? 

where we are now, i think aizawa is very… frustrated by lea, doesn’t understand him, but all the same is relying on him – which is doubly infuriating i think, but he’s also a very sound judge of character imo? like, he has this (not entirely empty) threat of arresting him, but i think he can sense that there’s a lot more to lea and i’m very, very excited to see it play out. 

[islelight]

okay gamers here’s the scoop kairi & lea’s birth parents are named kasai ( 火災 ) & hana ( 花 ) pan ( パン ) they met actually quite young being childhood friends turned lovers who married incredibly young ( hana was barely eighteen & kasai ninteen ) much to the dismay of everyone save for kasai’s mother who was surprisingly calm about it. though the pair proved everyone’s doubts wrong when they wore the tests of time & practically everything else. 

kasai is an extremely tall man, nearing 6′8 & known around as the radiant garden giant. however he’s got an incredibly round face & he never quite lost the baby fat in his face & cheeks. so he’s a little intimidating but not once you really get up close in personal to him. he’s also more soft spoken & shy than most people expect from his appearance but he’s absolutely the most kind & generous person you’ll ever meet. his hair color & eyes resembles kairi’s almost identically. 

hana on the other hand is very fiery & hotheaded despite her appearance. she tops out at 4′10 but she under no circumstances lets that or anything stop her. she’s incredibly abrasive & is terrifying to deal with when angry. the mistake the people of radiant garden make at first is assuming she’s the easy one. however while she may be stubborn & difficult to deal with she has an incredible soft spot for her loved ones ( especially kasai ). though mess with her loved ones & that’ll bring out the absolute worst in her. she has green eyes & very spiky messy flaming red hair that resembles leas.

pretty early on into their marriage they started to open up a little bakery together in radiant garden. it started out small & not very successful but over time it did become a pretty good business though they never did make the actual building itself smaller which did in the end cause problems. 

it was an accident, a fire that started late in the day at the bakery that caused both of them to meet their end. they’d already dismissed the only assistant they had working for them earlier in the day so perhaps it could’ve been worse. but things weren’t quite the same in radiant garden after that. lea was eleven when it happened & kairi only a few months from turning a year old. lea never had a chance to say goodbye to his parents & kairi never had the chance to even have significant memories with them to last. when hana & kasai died their children were taken into the care of kasai’s mother & that’s where they were ever since. 

the fire didn’t completely destroy the bakery. it still stands but after the two died nobody could afford to repair or run it again so it just simply stood there for years. when kairi & lea were children they’d walk by the empty building sometimes. kairi would ask about it but lea would never give her a straight answer. 

flash forward about thirteen years later & kairi & lea have finally made their return to radiant garden for the first time since, everything. kairi has regained her memories & wants to put down roots here in the place where she grew up. lea’s ready to as well starting with the abandoned bakery still standing. this time he’s ready to tell kairi the truth about it. together they decide to repair it & reopen it. it takes some time but the effort is worth it when they see the result. 

the bakery becomes a bigger success than it ever was the first time ( the fact that both lea & kairi are both new to baking ). lea finds a new love in bread making as it helps him learn to cope with his fire & everything else in his life. kairi finds a picture of their parents in the rubble of the back room & decides to restore it & hang it out front. she hopes their parents are proud of them.

[lightnull]

coming across him is an accident —— which is to say that she hadn’t been actively looking for him when she chose to come to where they often train and had instead been hoping to find one of the two who are often near him. either of them, really. ( and finding roxas is easy yet finding xion is like finding anyone else in the universe : chance and communication ) but instead there’s him and his shock of red and green and red and she stops short upon seeing him, expression neutral and body lax.

well, apart from the slight tension about her shoulders.

it’s less that there is an attempt to actively avoid and more that she finds there’s little to say and perhaps there’s a small measure of avoidance. irrational, in some ways. he is and isn’t the same as he was and she remembers him to be a strange mixture of dark and bright and a muddy red and here he’s as vivid as the others. as vivid as he was meant to be, then —— maybe.

❝ ——— oh. i’m sorry, i’ll go, ❞ she maintains a quiet air as she does around most of them and thinks, vaguely, of a wilting flower.

@fireize // sc.

[moondriftingold]

‘ don’t be what they made you. ’

          PROMPT.  ||  closed.

@fireize.

     it’s been a bad day.

     there’s whispers in his ear, his mind, bits of gold flashing in the corners of his eyes wherever he looks--- something has a choke-hold on his heart, squeezing it shut as if it was always meant to be closed; as if it’s unnatural for it to be open and free as a bird, like the others. as if it belongs in a cage. a room with no windows, no light, held under lock and key at the bottom of a lake, drowning, suffocating for yet another eternity. when isa opens his newly-beating heart, it hurts.

     it hurts so bad that sometimes he wants to throw away the key.

               ❝  i’m trying.  ❞

     the reply comes out too fast, too harsh --- there’s ice in his lungs and they frost his words, and when his shoulders hunch and his hands grip the edge of the counter so hard that they feel like claws, nails like razors, digging into flesh and sinew and cracking bone and rotting, hollow and empty, he feels like a ghost in his own body. the isolation that comes with knowing that you don’t belong, no matter what people tell you or how hard they try ---- it’s the most destructive feeling of all.

     lea’s words echo like a phantom. don’t be what they made you. they feel like knives digging into his skin, carving lines into his back. he knows, logically, they come from a good place and with good meaning, and that lea is only trying to help him, but all isa hears is that he fucked up and that he’s cruel, that he hasn’t changed and never will change, and that he really always will be the monster that everyone sees: the horrible denizen of darkness, a creature born of jealousy and rage and the fierce loneliness that accompanies abandonment. his heart wants to cry, filled to the brim with sorrow and loathing.  ( lea deserves better than this. he deserves someone who can love him without fault, love him wholly and properly, love him without digging glass into his skin with every touch and every kiss. the others, what he knows they whisper --- it must be right. he must be poison. )

     he throws away the key.

     for every good day, it feels like there are twice as many bad ones. it turns out that saïx’s rage and jealousy did not stay with him when he disappeared, for it never really belonged to him ---- that isa is the one who truly harboured such hatred, and he must pay a heavy price for being too weak to handle his own dead heart. shoulders tense, his admission is grating, and he hates it.

               ❝  i don’t know who else i’m supposed to be.  ❞

[lightmimic-a]

@fireize :)

It’s a pathetic sight : her sitting on her bed, legs pulled to her chest, seeming too small.  She rubs at her eyes with the heels of her hands, desperate to do away with some / any of the flowing tears and her own uselessness.  “I’m s - sorry,” she says, again.  Sorry for snapping at him ------ why don’t you go spend time with your sister?  ------ and sorry for FEELING THIS WAY.  This ugly thing, festering, JEALOUSY in her chest and gut --- she should be happy!!  Kairi is her friend, and Lea is one of her most important people.  She should be happy for them, but she isn’t.  She just sick with jealousy and hurt and bitterness and it’s bad and it’s not fair to them and it won’t go away.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpers, quiet.  She is.  She is  sosorry that her emotions are like this and she is sorry that she is bad and she is SORRY that every love she has ever felt has been leeched from someone BETTER THAN HER.  He’s just trying to help.  HE’S WORRIED FOR HER.  (  or for the girl she resembles ?  )

“I --- I’m trying r - really hard to just...be happy for you,” the child gasps, voice breaking.  “I’m trying ------ so hard.”  It just won’t work.

[lastfayth]

@fireize

            she’s not sure who this is. she’s even less certain why he’s at her little out of the way shop, either. yuna is at a loss ( she so rarely gets any visitors that linger for long, most think she’s o d d ) so the young woman says the first thing that comes to mind. it isn’t exactly a sales pitch. 

         ❛  ----- your hair is very red. like an autumn leaf. ❜

[sealedkey-blog]

can i be your dad

where have you been all these years

[rdriots]

☆ / @fireize

" so how long do ya take to do your hair in the morning? “   kirishima asks as he walks with one foot directly in front of the other, balancing on a thin strip of slightly elevated sidewalk, tipping a bit to the left thanks to the popsicle axel had bought him in his hand.