#firewifelife

[sassassanddaisies]

The #FireWifeLife... Or Just Life.

Disclaimer: Not a wife, yet 😉

Let me start by saying that that hashtag carries a certain stigma with it that makes me puke in my mouth a bit. It makes me think of those wives who mainly pretend to have it all together and glorify their spouses job. And at least around here, the trend is the more ya talk about it, the worse you probably are at it. Just the way that cookie crumbles. I make no effort to hide this shit show. If I did, well, I wouldn’t have anything to write about. So, as a collective whole can we agree that this life is anything but glorious and we’re probably all just looking at the clock and doing the mental math and counting down the hours until we’re reunited again? Because that. Is. Me. Let me tell ya, 24 hours has never felt longer and don’t get me started on 36. Some days we’re just ships passing in the night and miss each other by a few minutes. At the same time, I also really appreciate having the bed to just me and my dogs. It’s called balance, right?

Our story: Tom and I met while I was working at the local harness racing track for a trainer. He was on standby on the medic, and I had an little run in with a 1200lb animal, and the rest is history.

At that point in my life, (which was only three months ago,) I really wasnt looking for anything at all. I was happy being single. I didn’t have time for men. Dating was rough for me. Every guy that took me out was just missing SOMETHING. Wasn’t talkative enough, too talkative, too touchy feely, or, my favorite, would just flat out undermine me. I was working three jobs and was just tired of wasting my time and had honestly taken a solid break from men. It was the holidays and I was ready to spend time with my family and enjoy a much needed break from pharma and spend time with my four legged boys.

And so my first day of winter break, I let Tom take me for a drink. A drink turned into dinner (because I am never going to say no to a beer and nachos.) Dinner turned to coming home at 1am. A car ride filled with whiskey induced singing to Bowling for Soup and Frank Turner is really what won me over. Because let me tell ya, I was skeptical that he was too good to be true because the connection we have has been there since the very beginning. He claims he fell in love with me that night. What an idiot.

Whenever his job gets brought up in conversation, people are constantly taken aback and the average response is “omg that’s so dangerous, how don’t you stress or worry all the time?!”

I don’t let the stress of his job burden me. I don’t make a conscious effort to really worry about him or his safety. He’s a trained professional. Sure, the “what if’s” creep into my head sometimes, but I’m sure he feels the same way while I’m on top of a 1200lb animal and I’m alone. But we’ve both been doing it for so long it’s second nature.

Then the second go to is “you poor thing, you must spend so much time alone!” Let me tell y’all, 90% of the time, I LOVE my alone time. I work alone and I also live alone besides my dogs. I love my ability to be independent. I live a life completely separate from his. I work my own jobs, on my own time. Sure we absolutely enjoy our time together and get as much as that together as we can, but if I didn’t have my own life outside of our relationship, I’d just be waiting for him to come home. Independence is key to making this relationship work. As I mentioned last week, I don’t have much time for anything other than work right now anyway. The balance in my life is so delicate, when it gets off by even a bit, it tends to throw the rest of my week off.

The “secret” to our relationship success from the beginning has always been open communication. About anything. Any time. 3am even. We talk about our work days. Our stresses and anxieties. Tom has a a lot of his plate- full time at the department, part time as a private paramedic, graduate school, air national guard, being a dad, and of course me. We’re never shy about how we feel. And that’s why this works. And we’re always there when the other needs us to be.

That’s not what’s going to make me a good FireWife. That’s what’s going to make me a good wife in general. I am so excited to see where he takes me. And I know that even short term, I may not get to be a legit FireWife. Tom finishes his MBA program in July and from there, who knows where we’ll end up. But for now, I’m endlessly proud and he deserves all the recognition and then some.

[kneelingfirewife]

#DearHusband

Dear Husband,

Let me stay by saying that I will love you forever, to infinity, no matter what circumstances arise in our marriage. Even if the ability for us to be sexually intimate with each other is taken from either of us, I will love you. I will never leave you. My love for you is not based on whether we have sex. My desire for sex with you stems from the overwhelming feelings of love I have for you. A kind of love I never knew before you. The kind of love I wish I would have waited to give myself for. There is no way I could ever be happier without you. I will never let our marriage fall apart.

There are so many things that have contributed to where we are sexually now, but I never have our energy into seeing it through your eyes. I've been selfish. My selfish desires overcome my love for you sometimes, and for that I am sorry. I desire to have sex with the man I love, respect and admire... all the time. I selfishly try to control things sometimes, from sex to finances to life-changing decisions like having another child, when I should be trusting you and your guidance. I want to live in a way that means we maintain an intimate connection, that makes us husband and wife, and to finally relinquish the control I thought I wanted.

Know that this decision is not out of resentment, or wanting to change you, but to make myself the wife that was perfectly designed for you.

So here's my promise to you,

I promise to always say yes to sex and be available to you. I promise to submit to your sexual needs. I promise to not reject you. I promise to actively participate in sex. I promise to give you all of me. I promise to give you oral sex. I promise to be open to new things sexually. I promise to not be self conscious and let you always see me naked. I promise to not make excuses. I promise to make an effort to be romantic. I promise to always be open about talking about our sex life, no matter how challenging certain conversations might be. I promise to give you free unfettered sexual access to my body.

I promise to only build you up when we are in public. I promise to submit you your authority and not challenge it. I promise to listen to your guidance. I promise to let you have the final say on decisions. I promise to tell you what I need. I promise to think before I speak. I promise to challenge you appropriately. I promise to love you unselfishly. I promise to respect you. I promise to listen to your guidance. I promise to give you all of me.

I completely put my trust in your vision for our family. I wholeheartedly respect your place of accountability and authority in our marriage.

I love you forever.

Love,

Your Wife.

firewifelife.blog

[hufflepuff-mom]

My man is hot 🔥🔥 #firefightersdoitbetter #firewifelife #mancrush https://www.instagram.com/p/B0AOalYhH-gbAQIOonHUSSG4Wu4T8N2xvsMyzY0/?igshid=18txvcrfazhx3

[staunchambition]

@firemom_us 👊💯.. Now go clean yourselves up with some @firewipes (available at FireMom.com 😉)⠀ Photo Repost: @firefighters_club_ig⠀ 🚒⠀ 👨‍🚒⠀ 👩‍🚒⠀ 🚒⠀ #firefightingobsession #firefightertraining #firefighterposts #firelife #firefighterlife #firewife #firefighterswife #firewifelife #firesis #laddertruck #trainyourprobie #firstresponders #firetraining #firestation #fireservice #firefightingtraining #firefighting_obsession #firerescuelife #firefightersrock #stationlife #firefighterpride #firefightermotivation #firefighterheros #firedept #fireapparatus #firedepartment #fireandrescue #thinredline #firefamily https://www.instagram.com/p/BxaT7Z8huG9/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=cwgn01q0w1ue

[havous]

Proud Fire Wife Married To A Hero Firefighter Wife Gift (Brick)

Read the full article

[canmanfire]

#Repost @confessionsofafirefighterwife ・・・ So honored to be among my fellow fire wives helping these Fire families. Please read bellow there’s literally about 24hours left to help with this. ❤️ #confessionsofafirefighterwife #firewife #firefighterwife #firewifestrong #firewifeblogger #firewifelife #firefamily #supportyourfirefamily #Repost @mcfadden.studios with @get_repost ・・・ 💵FIVE DOLLARS 💵 The cost of ONE @Starbucks coffee!! ☕⠀ ⠀ I am so excited to be able to partner up with several @calfire wives to collect gift cards and get them into the hands of 41 firefighters who lost their homes in the Butte County #campfire ! ⠀ ⠀ I am doing one more post to encourage everyone to participate! $5 ✋🏻is the cost of a drive through coffee ☕️ 1/2 the price of lunch 🥙 or the price of a drink 🥃 at a restaurant! It’s something we do for ourselves often, so how about giving it to a family who lost everything!!!⠀ ⠀ If my followers donated $5, it would be over $2,000 😳!!! How life changing is that??⠀ ⠀ So today I challenge you to support in any increment that you can! 💪 Link in Profile! ⠀ ⠀ I am collecting donations through Paypal until Friday. So please DM me for my paypal information! It seriously means the world to me and the firefighters that lost everything! ⠀ ⠀ ❤️❤️❤️Thank you with my whole heart to those of you who have already helped with this effort! I appreciate you so much!⠀ ⠀ #mcfaddenstudios #campfire #buttecounty #paradisestrong #risefromtheashes #togetherwerise #loveisthickerthansmoke #calfirewife #calfirestrong #firestrong #givingtuesday (at Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrD9suald_I/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1qh3s0chb3o4k

[tanthathide]

Black Friday through Cyber Monday Sale! Sale Code: BF2017 #fire #leather #firefighterleather #tanthathide #dogcollar #customleather #makersgonnamake #customcollar #leatherwallet #edcwallet #edc #fieldnotes #puremichigan #firehouse #woof #firegifts #firegearproducts #truckie #michigansmallbusiness #mittenstate #mittenmade #husbandwifeteam #firewifelife #firewifey

[elleqdesigns]

Show your support for the hero in your life with this adorable shirt!!

https://www.etsy.com/listing/271918854/my-hero-wears-turnout-gear-short-sleeve

[amazedtees]

Sorry I'm Late My Fireman Had To Poop #firewifelife Shirt

Sorry I’m Late My Fireman Had To Poop #firewifelife Shirt

Yes, there is information on it you may not want Sorry I’m Late My Fireman Had To Poop #firewifelife Shirtothers to see, however, if I was raped, I’d be much less worried about that, and much more worried about doing everything I can to stop a rapist being set free. In this day and age what is on mobile phones is relevant in any criminal investigation and it has changed outcomes, thinking of the…

[melandcoboutique-blog]

•New• "Stella" Poppy Red Top $20.99 shipped😍 Ruffles are in this year💕 This top is a vibrant red with ruffle sleeves and a front tie. Made in USA. #thursday #instagood #photooftheday #fashion #beautiful #cuteclothes #love #firewifelife #mommylife #style #gapeach #atlanta #alpharetta #milton #boutiquestyle #instalike #melandcoboutique #melcoboutique

[embracethebeautifulmess-blog]

Finding my passion

Maybe its the new year.  Maybe it's the prospect of a clean slate, a new beginning.  Maybe it's a midlife crisis. Or being faced with mortality.  Whatever the reason, I have found myself now obsessed with questions.  What if?  What's my calling? what's my purpose? Whats my true passion?  Am I making a difference? I had dinner with a friend this weekend and the topic of passion came up.  I asked him about something that he had once been very passionate about and he just shrugged his shoulders and said he hadnt done that in a while.  I was stunned.  I blurted out "when is the last time you FELT passionate?  I mean...what is the last thing that stirred you and set your soul on fire?"  He couldnt remember.  Neither could I.   I sat in a training class last week and they asked me "tell me about yourself".  God, I hate that question.  I invarability rattle off the following, a rote memorization of "what I am"  It sounds something like this.   I'm married.  My husband is a fireman.  I have a 13 year old daugther.  I am an HR Director for (insert firm name here) and Ive been there for 14 years, Wow.  That's it.  I've labeled myself as a #wife #mother #corporateexecutive   What happened to the girl who loved to write? Dream? Ride horses? Motorcycles? Travel? My wonder for life?   In light of that, I have found myself on a journey.  A journey of searching and trying so hard to remember who this girl is.  Where she came from.  Where she is going.  What she wants to be when she "grows up".   I've become victim to self labeling.  Which is such a limiting concept.    As soon as I rediscover her, I'll be sure to introduce you,   I really think you will like her.