#first lesson in life was ‘dear never use suspicious alcohol and even better if you won’t drink at all’

[hanakihan]

I’m still not over jinchul interacting with kyung hye (I literally brainrotted over it), jinchul definitely being respectful to previous empress while kyung hye being genuinely nice to him without demanding anything back

jinchul just walking around palace trying to familiarize himself with layout of it until he notices a group of palace girls escorting someone. he’s not announcing his presence and just silently observes, finally noticing woman’s face when she slightly turns. she’s frail and ill looking but nonetheless beautiful and gentle and oh, current ruling emperor absolutely took his beauty after his mother. jicnhul notices how she walks with support of her ladies in waiting, how she struggles with keeping herself going straight. and will all that in mind it’s weird to see such thick makeup on her, it contrasts with her relatively simple robes.

next time they see each other properly is when he and jinwoo encounter her in one of palace gardens, she still looks ill but at least she walks on her own without support of her maids. and yet again jinchul notices too thick layer of makeup for someone in such condition. jinwoo introduces them to each other and after a small pleasant exchange jinchul notices that it’s not common for ill people to wear such makeup even if she’s the former empress. even more, some maids looked nervous when they approached former empress and kept stealing glances at her, as if to see if she’ll say something unnecessary.

jinwoo tells jinchul about his mother’s unknown illness that keeps eating her health away, and apparently even royal doctor (and on top of that jinwoo’s best healing summon) can’t fix whatever is wrong - even after treatment she gets better only to get worse after couple of days. apparently when passing them by, jinchul informs jinwoo of slight medical alcohol smell, yet something doesn’t click. jinchul is no doctor but he knows that medical alcohol is used to treat skin and high temperature in most cases and both aren’t the cases in kyung hye’s case according to royal doctor and jinah.

jinwoo says that jinah multiple times inspected what medicine their mother receives and what is used to clean her after episodes. jinah, jinchul and royal doctor hold an investigation because apparently some sort of medicine is circulating in palace and has found it’s way to previous empress.

jinchul has his suspicions with slight alcoholic smell. while royal doctor informs that it isn’t his prescription, there’s no harm in rubbing it on skin since it’s cleans away dirt and other stuff. while jinchul agrees with that point, he and jinah deem it an unnecessary addition from maids that still prefer to keep their empress looking properly groomed and mostly to cover scent of illness.

one day jinchul visits bedridden kyung hye after one of her episodes, asking her about her medical routine. he’s extremely interested in schedule of rubbing alcohol on skin since it’s the suspicious thing here. he asks if she knows where maids store it, and she points to medical cabinet where other medicine is kept. for time being he asks her to refuse rubbing alcohol especially considering it’s now what doctor prescribed for some days.

after that her condition slightly improves and stays so without any detour. jinchul, who had taken a bottle of that alcohol asked jinah and doctor’s assistance in trying to understand if it’s an actual alcohol or poisonous one. with help of jongin and his expertise in fire truth came out and jinchul asked jinwoo to get rid of all alcohol in palace for time being. just as he went to check on kyung hye later he saw her maids rubbing alcohol on barely conscious empress and in fit of anger confronts them. turns out head maid brought this supposedly good cosmetic alcohol to keep empress’ appearance despite her illness and to mask awful stench of illness and they proceeded to do so because after jinchul’s advice she refused procedure and now everything became worse. jinchul is furious and grabs that bottle, forcing maid’s mouth open and threatening to spill it all into it.

‘do you even realize that what you brought is an actual poison? do you realize that you slowly was rubbing it into her skin keeping her constantly poisoned? what do you think will happen if I’ll spill it all in one go? in best case you’ll go blind, in worst you’ll die in less that a hour.’

after that he just kicks all of them out and asks other servants to bring royal doctor and jinah here as fast as they can while he starts to work on countermeasures.

who would’ve thought someone will be dumb enough in this palace to almost fall for same stupid poisoning trick. there’s been so many cases of nobles dying in agony at celebrations and meetings after drinking alcohol and he’s not having a kind woman dying on him especially when he knows what to do.

[that-good-trash]

Trust Me 2

Part 1

Shinsou x reader / Sero x reader

Word count: 6.5k

Warnings: Manipulation, angst, obsession, hurt/comfort, happy ending.

Summary: Shinso saved you from your ex but what if he isn’t the prince he claims to be; your just a damsel in another dragons lair. When will you learn who you can truly trust and be strong enough to save yourself. 

Authors note: I got caught up writing a second part to my fanfic Trust me. I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Sero is literally my comfort character so how could I not write about him. As always enjoy.

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It’s funny how a few months or a year can change one’s life. When you close your eyes sometimes you can still imagine the feeling of Bakugou’s arms around you. You can still smell the laundry soap he used when he’d wash the clothes on his days off. When the stars twinkle sometimes you could imagine the first night you both went out and he held you under them. When you saw young couples holding hands shyly you couldn’t help but replace them with you and him. He wasn’t one for PDA, but he did do little things to remind you he cared even while surrounded by people. He’d move hair out of your eyes, pull you along by your arm when you were walking to ‘slow’, and he’d put his jacket over you even when it wasn’t cold. These were things that you couldn’t let go even as you moved on in life. It wasn’t like you yearned for him, you just wish things ended better, that you could forgive him completely, but he hurt you. Showing up at your wedding made you believe that he wanted to wish you the best of luck. You were happy to see him but when you were dancing with your husband you couldn’t help but catch a broken look falling upon your ex’s face. You believed he was sad to let you go, regretful even. You had no clue what had transpired between him and Shinso. You were left living in ignorant bliss. No idea that both men had hurt/ manipulated you in some way. But they loved you! But they want what’s best for you! In the end that’s all that should matter right.

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“Y/n, where are you?” You turned from your spot on your apartment balcony. The glass in your hands was gently placed on the small marble table before you opened the glass door. The curtains were pushed by the outdoor breeze allowing your husband to find you. You smiled at him, but it didn’t reach your eyes and he caught that. His duffle bag was discarded onto the ground before his arms wrapped around your waist. He looked down at you waiting for you to look him in the eyes. When you did, he knew that you had been overthinking. It was something you had been doing a lot recently. You kissed his nose earning a smile from him. “What’s wrong kitten?”

“Just thinking about stuff.” You buried your head into his chest letting your eyes close while listening to his heartbeat. His right hand moved upward, rubbing comforting circles into your back. There were times when he just had to let you feel your emotions. If he tried to stop, you from being sad every time then you’d suffocate under false comfort. He wanted you to mourn your previous life, but he also wanted you to celebrate your current one. He gave you time and he was slightly hoping you’d have moved on by now. Hell, you were married, working, and given anything if you asked. The thing was though that you felt no need to ask. You were still independent. You worked your own hours, even if they clashed with Shinso’s. If you needed anything you got it for yourself. Shinso knew this was how you were and yet he still went out of his way to buy you things as well. He would buy you flowers that held different meanings, he’d buy you candy if it seemed like you needed a sweet pick me up, he showered you in terms of endearment so why did you still stand on the balcony looking out at the stars like you were thinking of someone else. Why did you have to think of Bakugou even though he made sure the bridges were burned. “Kitten, we should get out of town for a while. Take a few days off and go to the beach or maybe a hot spring. I think we deserve that.”

He knew that you would pull away from him and you did. You had turned out of his arms and wrapped your own around yourself. You stood in the open balcony door letting the cold evening air brush past you. You knew that there was no argument to be had against a vacation. You did deserve one. You also felt bad because you had been distant from him. Shinso wrapped his arms around you again. His finger linking around your middle. He let his chin fall onto your shoulder. “We don’t have to go.”

“I’ll go. I want to go. Let’s take a vacation. Just the two of us.” You turned around and wrapped your arms around him returning his loving embrace. You smiled at him hoping this would be enough. You just wanted to stop overthinking the past and neglecting your present relationship. Shinso kissed your forehead before closing the door. Even though the breeze was no longer able to reach you, you still felt slightly cold.

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“AWWW look at this picture Y/n you posted!” Mina thrusted her phone over the table she was sitting at with the rest of the squad. Jiro rolled her eyes pushing the phone back down on the table. Kirishima had a tight-lipped smile as he watched Bakugou tense up. Mina ignored the angry blonde’s reaction while laughing when Kaminari lifted his phone revealing you in a robe. You and Shinso had been away at a hot spring. Everyone had been happy to hear the two of you were finally doing a couple’s retreats. Everyone minus Bakugou and… Sero? Bakugou was irritated every time Shinso was mentioned. Ever since the wedding he tried to figure out a way to get you back but that was easier said than done. Every time he tried to see you Shinso magically appeared to make him go away. He found himself yearning for a time before he fucked everything up. He cried for days after you got married. Kirishima had been there for him but he was neutral. Kirishima loved his best friend but he also cared deeply about you as well. Watching his friend feel so much pain hurt but he also knew that you were the true victim. You deserved happiness. Bakugou was convinced that he could remind you that you both could be happy. He needed to tell you that he never cheated and that Shinso manipulated the two of you. While Bakugou was convinced that he could win you back someone else was convinced that you needed to escape both men in your life; Sero.

Sero had been your best friend since forever. He had been the person that skipped classes with you, someone who always knew how to make you laugh, he was the person that knew everything about you without you having to say it. You and Sero had grown as students and eventually heroes. You were both friends prior to meeting Shinso and also before you ever considered dating Bakugou. You are held so near and dear to his heart. When you first started dating Bakugou he made sure that you understood that you didn’t have to take Bakugou’s shitty attitude. You had laughed but Sero was truly hoping you would never give your happiness up for someone who didn’t deserve it. You did exactly what he was worried you would do. There had been more than one occasion that Sero had to pick up a drunk Bakugou after you called worried about his whereabouts. Kirishima would have to hold Sero back as profanities and insults flung out of his enraged lips. No matter how much he yelled, or what he said Bakugou would just smugly take it or yell back; At the end of the night alcohol would make Bakugou forget the words Sero spoke leaving himself without a lesson learned. Sero never tried to get you to leave Bakugou because he believed that you should make your own decisions. He didn’t want to be like other guys; possessive and toxic. he was there when you needed him, and he was there when you didn’t. If you need space, you could have it without even asking. Sero liked Bakugou as a friend but as your boyfriend he thought he was garbage. Sero also thought that Shinso was shady. He liked him back at UA because he was hard working and a genuinely good guy to you but after graduating, he seemed to get a little obsessive. Any party you attended Shinso was there, any time you went out Shinso just happened to run into you, and anytime you were at work his own patrols would overlap your own. Shinso always found a way to see you or have you thinking about him. Sero was the only person who thought it was suspicious that everything happened in Shinso’s favor. Shinso had originally denied the invite to the party like you had. Except they expected you after you told them you were coming, and he never changed his mind vocally. Shinso arrived without anyone’s knowledge. The moment he planted seeds of doubt in your mind Sero knew that he had ulterior motives. He wished he had followed you home and maybe he could have saved you from Shinso’s entrapment. He was at a loss for words when you started dating him, when he heard about the jumbotron interview confession. He knew that somehow this all had to be planned but no one believed him. Mina told him he was paranoid and Kirishima told him it was all fate and coincidence.

“Sero what is up with you lately. You’ve been so quiet. What happened to you!” Kaminari had leaned over laying his whole arms weight across Sero’s shoulder. Sero just rolled his eyes at his friend’s antics. He had been getting that a lot since he had been gloomy and ditching out on group activities. “Yeah Sero what the heck have you been up too.”

“I’ve been busy unlike you idiotas.” Mina, Kaminari, and Kirishima were smiling while Jiro and Bakugou just rolled their eyes. Jiro had heard from Momo that Sero had been asking around about Shinso. She knew that he was missing events because of his inquiring. She just didn’t understand why. Bakugou was now curious after hearing that Sero had been MIA. He didn’t notice since he himself kept blowing off his friends. He knew that Sero never turned people down for a hang out so now he was interested on what was going on. “You’re an idiot too. Now tell us fucker. What the hell has you so busy?”

“Oh, you of all people have no right to act all high and mighty demanding answers from me. You never even hung out with us before the breakup so really, I could be asking you the same thing. What has you so busy? Some puta keeping your dick wet.” Sero was the least confrontational person in the group so hearing him snap had everyone’s face frozen in shock; especially Bakugou’s. Kirishima was the first person to finally move and that was to hold Bakugou down. Bakugou realized what was said and he was quick to sit up only for Kirishima to hold him back down. The blaze behind Bakugou’s eyes burned with hatred for the tape hero. Sero was unfazed by the look and instead gave Bakugou a look of disinterest followed by disgust. Mina looked around at her friends hoping that this hang out wasn’t completely ruined. It could have been saved had it not been for the mass notification sounds that went across the table. Everyone had gotten a text from you which everyone was quick to read. Mina squealed when she read that you were on your way back to town. Kaminari had looked beyond his phone and directly at his bestie. Sero ignored the text instead getting up and leaving. He ignored his friends calling for him. He didn’t want to pretend that you were happy because when he looked at pictures of you, he could see underneath the mask. You kept placing masks over the old broken ones and he wished you would remove them all. You should have taken time for yourself after breaking up with Bakugou, but you threw yourself into the Shinso relationship never giving yourself time to heal by yourself. He read the text before privately messaging you to meet up.

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Sero was wearing a yellow and black stripped sweater along with a beanie. He knew that you would easily spot him in the get up since they were his hero colors. He waited for you outside a bakery that you loved bringing him too. It was a special place for the two of you. When he had texted, you he didn’t expect a response to quickly. You told him that you’d see him the next day. Here he was a day later waiting with bated breath. It was a breezy cooler afternoon which was literally perfect for eating warm baked goods and drinking hot chocolate. Sero looked down at his phone once more before feeling the presence of someone in front of him. He smiled and looked up. “Y/N! I’m so hap… Shinso.”

“Hello Sero, Y/n is tired from the trip so she couldn’t make it.” Shinso was smiling but his eyes held some danger that Sero was highly aware of. He looked around before looking back down at him phone. A sigh escaped because he felt like an idiot. He never thought that Shinso would read your text and show up instead. He should have known. “What are you doing here Shinso.”

“I just wanted to know what was so important that you messaged her to hang out alone, for a personal conversation. I just wanted to see if anything was wrong. I can tell Y/n when I get back if you have something important to tell her.” Sero clenched his jaw is anger. Shinso not once stopped smiling. He was playing Sero and he knew that Sero was aware of this. It was like he was testing him. Sero wanted to call him out but that would just cause issues. This did however add to his collection of reasons he didn’t like or trust Shinso anymore. Shinso showed up like he owned you. “Shinso, I know you mean well but I asked Y/n to meet me. I don’t owe you an explanation on why I asked her to see me. You are acting a little possessive. I know she’s your wife, but she is my best friend.”

Both boys stared each other down. Shinso was still smiling but it had faltered. Sero waited for a response but Shinso was at a loss for words. He hadn’t expected this from quiet Sero. A cough from a bakery employee brough both boys’ attention away from one another.

“Um sorry to interrupt Mr. Cellophane but I know you and y/hero/n always come in here, so I assumed when I saw you that she was meeting up with you. I went ahead and packaged her favorites, but it seems like I was wrong. Do you think you can give this to her?” The shy employee held out a cute box that held your usual desserts. Sero went to grab it but Shinso was faster. He took the box and smiled at the confused boy. “Don’t worry. I’m her husband so I’ll give them to her.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks.” Shinso nodded before turning back to Sero. With this stranger near them they couldn’t really continue a tense conversation. Shinso waved goodbye before leaving the way he came. The boy next to Sero coughed awkwardly again before making eye contact with Sero. “Excuse me but that guy was kind of an asshole.”

“Kind of?” Sero and the boy shared a laugh before Sero thanked him and left. While Sero walked away he swore to himself that he would prove that Shinso was just as bad for you as Bakugou if not ten times worse.

“Hitoshi where did you go?” You turned away from the laundry you had been folding when the front door opened. A giggle slipped out when Shinso kissed you before a box was placed in your hands. Your eyes widened when you saw what it was. “I was out getting you some desserts. I heard these are you favorites.”

“Yeah, they are.” Shinso took your reaction as happiness but in reality, your eyes had narrowed, and your smile twitched downward. He didn’t notice since he left the room. You set the box on the counter and backed up. You pulled out your phone and went to your messages. Sero’s last message was before your vacation. You knew for a fact that Shinso had no idea about that bakery. Only you and Sero went there together so unless Sero told him about it, which was highly unlikely, Shinso was lying. You quickly sent a text to Sero before deleting it.

[Hey, thanks for the desserts. I miss you. Hang out at second secret hang out tomorrow.]

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Shinso kissed you goodbye as he left to work. You let out a sigh of relief before getting ready for your hangout with Sero. It felt wrong hiding like this from your own husband, but something was off about him. Ever since you got married, he seemed a little too involved in your life. Like he needed to go everywhere and know everything about you. Once you were ready you shot Sero a text and left the apartment. It was a nice day, a cool breeze made you glad that you wore a sweater. While you walked you smiled to yourself enjoying the walk alone. As you walked you looked up and the world seemed to stop. Just down the sidewalk waiting at a crosswalk was Bakugou. You found yourself walking before briskly jogging toward him. Before Bakugou could move, your hand gripped his arm. He spun around so fast with irritation on his face. The irritation dissipated completely when he realized it was you. A soft smile, one you had missed, appeared. “It’s been awhile, Bakugou.”

“Too long.” Bakugou moved to the side to allow you to stand next to him as he continued to walk across the street. You were quick to take up that spot. He wasn’t in his hero uniform and if anything, he was in a slightly shitty disguise. A long sleeve shirt that hugged his muscles so you could see even through the fabric their definition. A UA cap tried to hide his recognizable blonde spiky hair. You could see him, which made you wonder if anyone else saw passed the disguise. Since no one had stopped him yet you were relieved. It had been so long it would be upsetting to have some fan ruin this reunion. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’ve been busy.” Bakugou looked at you skeptically. He knew you were a pro hero too but that didn’t take up all your free time. He could tell by the way your shoulders dropped and how you looked at the ground as you walked that there was more to it. You looked tired, mentally and physically. Bakugou grabbed your hand and pulled you inside a small shop. You could smell coffee and matcha. It wasn’t a coffee shop, but it did serve coffee. He ordered himself a coffee and a tea for you. “I don’t know what you are going through Y/n but I need you to know that you don’t have to pretend with me. If you’re fucking tired than say it. If somethings bothering, you than don’t act like you are fine.”

Anyone would take what Bakugou said offensively but you couldn’t. He said it with no malice. He meant it, he was concerned for your wellbeing and the weird part was that he hadn’t been the only one with concerns for you. Sero, Mina, Uraraka, and even Midoriya had commented on your faltering happiness. Bakugou thrust your tea into your hands and you were grateful it was small since you wanted to get food with Sero. “Thank you Bakugou. I guess I haven’t been feeling myself lately. I just feel like I haven’t gotten the chance to do stuff without Shinso around.”

“Yeah I kind of noticed since all your social media is covered in posts and pictures of you both. I’ve been waiting for this honeymoon state to end but it seems to go on and on.” He laughed but you didn’t. He was right again. Everything revolved around Shinso and you. You couldn’t do anything or go anywhere without him being involved. Bakugou may have neglected you but at least he gave you space. You had been allowed to live your own life; up till those last few months. Maybe it was you? Maybe you were cursed? Or maybe you were buying too much into things. “Bakugou, he just gets lonely without me.”

“So do I but you don’t see me stalking you.” Bakugou hadn’t meant the words to freely fall passed him lips. His eyes widened with realization and fear of how you would react. Your checks heated up before you awkwardly coughed into your hand. Bakugou cursed under his breath. You were saved by the sound of your text tone. Sero was waiting. “Sorry Bakugou but I got to go. Thank you for talking, and for the tea.”

“I wasn’t joking, I do miss you Y/n.” You stared at Bakugou; his eyes reflected sorrow. He truly looked lonely, but you couldn’t fix that. He did the damage that pushed you away. You wondered why he was so lonely if he had HER to keep him company. The thought of the other girl, that didn’t actually exist, made you lose any sympathy you had for your ex. “Must be hard to miss me with your other girlfriend around. Unless she left you too.”

It was truly a low blow, but you couldn’t stop yourself from saying it. You didn’t even give him a chance to react. You left before regret could wash over you. Bakugou slammed his fist into the wall after throwing his coffee away. He couldn’t believe that you still thought he had cheated. He shouldn’t have thought different since Shinso wouldn’t want you knowing the truth. Bakugou wanted to run after you but just like months ago, he didn’t.

As Bakugou faded into the back of your mind Seri took over your thoughts. Excitement overcame you as the meeting place came into view. There standing in front of a floral shop was the man himself. Sero turned around a huge smile plastered across his own face. You ran straight into his arms and felt him lift you before the world spun. A laugh slipped out and by the time your feet reached the ground again you were giggling like a schoolgirl. Sero didn’t want to let you go. His hands held onto your own. Both your arms swinging with the others. “God its so good to see you.”

“I missed you Sero.” Anyone watched would think the two of you were a reuniting couple. The shear love shared between the two of you was overwhelming too the public eye. A few passerby’s cooed at your PDA. Sero let go of one of your hands but still held the other as the two of you started walking. “I’m glad you enjoyed the desserts.”

“About them…” Sero noticed how tense you got and watched your face. You looked like you wanted to ask him something. He squeezed your hand trying to cox the question from you. “Shinso gave them too me. He claimed he got them for me when I already knew that he couldn’t have known that I liked them. Only you know that I love those desserts Why would he lie.”

“Because that’s what liars do.” Sero hadn’t meant to say it out loud. Your eye had widened before you stopped walking. Sero cursed himself hoping you wouldn’t flip out on him. He dared make eye contact but instead of seeing anger he saw pain. He saw a whirlpool of emotions; doubt and sorrow swirled behind your eyes. “What are you talking about Sero.”

“I don’t want to do the same shit Bakugou and Shinso have done but I need you to know I think he’s got some hidden baggage. I think he’s hiding stuff from you.” You could have argued or defended Shinsou, but you found you couldn’t speak. The words died on your tongue because no matter how much you loved Shinso you knew that there was something off. Sero was shocked to see your eyes fill with tears. You looked tired and overwhelmed. His arms were around you in an instant. You felt safe but that still didn’t make these awful thoughts and feelings go away. “Sero, I’m afraid that I’ve made a mistake.”

“People make mistakes Y/n, it’s what makes us human. If anything, I think someone else made a mistake and you’re the one suffering because of it.” Sero always knew what to say to you. He was always good at comforting you when difficult situations arose. You clung to him wishing that Shinso wasn’t hiding things, that Bakugou hadn’t hurt you, that you were strong enough to stop guys from using you. Sero didn’t use you. Why couldn’t everyone be like Sero. “What should I do Sero.”

“You have to figure that out. If you want support, you always have me. I don’t want to push the idea that Shinso is a bad guy, but the truth is out there, Y/n. You just need to know where to look. Have you wondered why Shinso showed up to the party’s that you attended, how he happened to see Bakugou supposedly cheating?” The sentence that stuck out to you the most was the one about Bakugou cheating. “What do you mean supposedly?”

Sero realized that he just made things worse. He had done his research, investigated the lies and truths. He had proof that both guys were guilty and innocent in their own way. He could tell you all of this, but he needed you to figure it out on your own. At the same time though you did deserve some truth. “That night at the party, when you went home, and everything went to hell. Shinso told you he saw Bakugou at a restaurant with some girl and you believed him since he said it after Kirishima told you that Bakugou hadn’t been at work. Well I did some research and found out that Bakugou had been out with his mom that night. She had been sick, and he was taking care of her. He had left the agency in the afternoon and from what I understand after a drunk night of moping he told me that his phone had died after his last call with you. He was tired and upset about his mom and when you accused him, he flipped under the stress. I am not defending Bakugou’s shitty behavior, but mi corazón he’s no cheater and Shinso knew that.”

You stood there listening while everything processed. Bakugou had lied to you, why? He hurt you knowing that he was innocent. Why didn’t he just tell you the truth himself. Why did Shinso lie about seeing Bakugou. What else was a lie. You looked at Sero when his hand cupped your cheek. “No more talk about them. Right now, is our time.”

“Yeah, our time.” You returned the smile he gave you despite the hurricane of thoughts conflicting inside your mind. The moment you had the chance you were going to do some research of your own.”

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A week had gone by and you had found yourself down a rabbit hole. You had found out plenty of information that made you realize that Shinso was doing more than just lying. He had been stalking you. The receptionist at your agency told you that he would come by every time you worked to check to see if you were there. You found out that on your days off Shinso memorized your scheduling and would make sure his patrols would have him in the same area so he could keep an eye on you. Shinso was also keeping tabs on your texts which you checked by planting a fake chat and seeing how he would act later when you left your phone alone in the same room as him. You had been correct. Later he was acting annoyed obviously falling for your fake text trick. The more you found out the less time you spent with your husband. When night would fall and his arms held you captive against his body, you felt insecure; unsafe. How could you have been so blind? Shinso was also starting to notice you were withdrawn when it came to him. You lacked the usual happiness. Your smile faltered and your touches were quick, no longer lingering. Shinso had slowly become suspicious of your behavior. He watched you more carefully. He couldn’t have you slipping away after fighting so hard to get you.

“Y/n.” You looked up when the interviewer spoke your name. She was smiling at you as she walked out from a restricted entrance. You had called the station that had broadcast Shinso’s confession to ask them about it. The woman who had interviewed your husband was excited to see you. She held onto your hands talking a mile and minute about wanting an interview with you. “I promise you an interview but only if you can tell me about the confession.”

“Oh honey, so romantic. He is truly a charmer. All of us at the station swooned when he told us his idea.” You raised a brow. Confusion was etched onto your features. You had thought that his confession was a fated one. That it just happened to come on at the right time. “What idea?”

“Oh, he came in here telling us that he wanted to confess his love to you. We decided that we would set it up like an interview where we were pushing to know about his love life, which he followed up with the confession. He gave us a time to play it and even an area in which he wanted the broadcast to show. He said that you would see it exactly when he needed you too. It made all of us tear up. Truly a love that so many don’t get a chance at.” The woman was smiling at you, but you couldn’t smile back. How could you when you just found out that the thing that brought you and Shinso together was all a part of elaborate plan you had no idea about. You backed up and turned around leaving her confused. You bolted out of the building and ran. How the hell were you supposed to go home after finding this out. You wanted to find an empty field and scream. There were no empty fields so the closest alleyway would have to work. You collapsed against the dirty cold wall of the alley. You cried and screamed until you felt your chest cave in. You had nothing left in you as you fell to your knees. Your hands slammed into the hard concrete beneath you. Twice, how could this happen twice. First Bakugou broke your heart on purpose and then Shinso broke it on accident. What if Bakugou was manipulated as well. What if your previous relationship could have worked out but Shinso made sure it didn’t. You felt like you didn’t know who you could trust. You stumbled out of the alley before you ran into someone. You apologized before the person asked if you were okay. You knew that your red swollen eyes would make anyone concerned. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure… Wait, I recognize you.” You wiped your eyes before looking at the man. He was smiling gently at you before pointing at your ring finger. “I’m glad to see that it worked out. I know that gentleman was so nervous about proposing to you. I see you are both married now.”

Here we go, you were expecting another reveal. Had Shinso planned the engagement way before you even got together as well. At this point nothing could shock you. The man nodded and looked into your eyes. “It was nice meeting you Mrs. Bakugou.”

The man walked right passed you leaving you more broken than before. His words echoed over and over as you slowly started walking again. Mrs. Bakugou. That meant Bakugou had planned to propose. All the previous moments the two of you shared flooded your mind. You cried again this time not caring who saw. You sobbed wishing that you could go back in time. You looked at the ring on your finger and decided that something needed to be done. You pulled out your phone and texted Shinso to meet you that evening at a specific spot. You also sent the same text to Bakugou.

--------------------------------

Bakugou hoped to god that the text was a good thing. Maybe you realized that you loved him still. Maybe you were giving him a second chance. He wanted so badly to hold you in his arms again. To tell you that he loved you. He wanted to be able to finally use the engagement ring he bought for you the month you left. This needed you back in his life. While Bakugou headed up the stairs of the meeting building Shinso was a few floors ahead. He was wondering what you could possibly want that you needed to meet on the roof of a building. He hoped you were okay. You had been acting weird and avoiding him, so he was hoping that you were doing this to apologize or make up for it. He headed up there none the wiser to the true plan.

You stood with your hands against the cold bricks the kept you from falling over the edge of the building. This location meant something too you. It was the building that you first watched a hero arrest a villain when you were a child. You knew at that moment that you wanted to be a hero. Now you were living a drama show kind of life. You felt more greys anatomy than you did heroes. Now you were waiting to save yourself from two bad guys.

“Y/n.”

“Y/n?”

Bakugou and Shinso stared at each other before looking at you. You turned around facing the confused men. They needed answers and they weren’t going to be the ones they wanted to hear. You smiled sadly before looking up into the night sky. “I called you both here because there is so much to say that I want you both to hear.”

“Y/n what the hell is.”

“No interruptions. I’m going to say what I need to say and you’re going to listen.”

Both men shared a look before nodding at you. You nodded back glad there was no resistance from either of them. A deep breath and you let it all out. You told them everything you had learned. You told Bakugou how you found out he wasn’t cheating, how he planned to propose to you. You told him that you knew about him taking care of his mom. You turned your attention to Shinso and that’s when angry came out; betrayal. You wanted so badly to hit him. He took a step back when your venomous words stung him. You told him everything you found out. You didn’t speak like they were theories. You told him like these things happened because they did. You left him no room to argue their legitimacy. You knew with each word that he was getting more and more afraid. He was sinking back with fear that you unraveled his lies. You finally finished yelling, letting your hands fall onto your knees. You were heavily breathing while the frustrated tears fell. Both guys moved toward you cautiously, reaching forward to comfort you. Bakugou glared at Shinso smacking the lavender haired boys arm away from you. “Haven’t you caused her enough pain. Your quirk suits a manipulative piece of shit like yourself.”

“Your one to talk bastard. You beat down her like you beat down villains. You like neglecting and hurting girls don’t you. You should be behind bars you maniac.” Bakugou and Shinso never made it to your side before they started attacking one another. You watched with annoyance as Bakugou landed a punch to Shinso’s right cheek. Shinso was quick to return the hit with a fierce punch of his own. Both men yelled out insults and blame but not once took the blame themselves. You ran forward to shove them away from one another. That was a terrible choice since they accidently swung at you in the heat of the moment. Both men’s hits were harsh enough to send you over the edge of the building. The screaming that escaped their lips mixed and echoed down the streets. They rushed over to the edge afraid of what they would see, in hopes that maybe they could save you. Instead of a gruesome seen they saw you tucked away safely in Cellophanes arms. He had his tape holding the two of them in the air. They couldn’t see Sero’s face, but they knew he was furious. They were truly lucky that Sero had been patrolling this area.

After you were all on solid ground and in a safer area Sero had made sure that the two men knew how stupid they had been, and you made sure that they knew that you were done with both of them. Shinso begged and pleaded, even getting on his knees in hopes that you would forgive him. You didn’t. You knew that you would be better off without them. Shinso didn’t want to let you go but he knew you were serious. You had given him back the ring and told him you’d be filing for a divorce. He wanted to tell you no, he wanted to make you stay but he couldn’t. He had been caught and any further excuses or manipulations would be fuel to the fire he set. Bakugou wanted so badly to go back to when you both loved each other but he was aware that you couldn’t do that. He let you go with a hug. He wished you luck and hoped the next person would finally be the one that you deserved. He still loved you but sometimes love can hurt. You needed a painless love.

“You will be okay Y/n.”

“I know.” You leaned your head against Sero’s shoulder. His arm wrapped around your side in a comforting way. You felt so many things that night. Sorrow, regret, heartbreak, freedom, and love. You loved yourself for deciding that you didn’t need them. You had the freedom to decide what to do now. You looked up at Sero and decided that this was perfect. He never forced any decision on you so taking that freedom you moved away and grabbed his arm. “Sero Hanta would you please accompany me on a date to our favorite bakery.”

“Mi amor, I’d like nothing more.”

[eliza-hamilton-holly]

Dear Readers,

I apologise for my absence. I am, in this post, going to further explain it, but please, before you continue onwards with this post, be wary, considering it has mentions of suicide, manipulation, and toxicity. If that isn't something that you are comfortable with, I implore you to stop reading.

I would just like to say that, in no way, shape, or form, should my experience or feelings towards this person make you dislike them in any way. I will be using gender neutral pronouns for them, and not referring to them by name, in hopes of keeping their identity a secret, as I don't want to upset them.

Well, truthfully, I don't care about them. I don't particularly care about upsetting them. In all honesty, I don't think that they cared enough about me to be upset by my words, but being publicly exposed would most definitely upset them.

I am telling you about this because, for one, it explains my absence recently, and for two, I believe that this is a teachable moment. I recognise that everyone who reads my blog is a real, actual person with real, actual feelings, and this situation is more than likely to happen to you.

What happened is simple - I was stuck in a very toxic relationship.

I say relationship and do not mean romantic, in this instance. This was a friendship - if you can call it that - and it was just bad.

To start with, it was incredibly one sided. All I did was give, and all they did was take. It was very draining. I got one day of having something back. One day. What did I have to do to get that one day of communication and worry? Quite literally have a heart attack. I was giving, and giving, and the other person was giving nothing back. They couldn't even be bothered to send me a message every few days without serious prompting, and the prompting made me feel awful for being so bothersome.

It drained me, and made me feel worthless. Unwanted. It made me feel easily replaceable. I knew that they liked everyone else much, much more than me, and whenever I confronted them about treating me well, they got extremely defensive and denied it outright.

It made me feel as if I was going crazy. This is a manipulation tactic. By taking my concerns and, instead of addressing them, accusing me of things unrelated, or flipping it so that they were accusing me of what I had brought up, it made me feel as though I was treating them poorly. It made me more reliant on them, because it made me feel like they were never in the wrong, and I always was.

They constantly assured me that they liked me, but they never showed it. I think that they kept me in their menagerie because I was a resource that could be exploited. They knew how dedicated I was towards them. They knew that they could ask the world of me and I would deliver.

They rarely gave me anything in return. No time out of their day, no check in, no phone call - nothing. I am not someone who focuses on material items whatsoever, but what is required to sustain a friendship with me is a little bit of time out of your day to talk with me. Not daily, even. I understand that people are busy.

However, when they are consistently posting, talking to others, never starting conversations, and then when that point is brought up, they tell you that they were too sick to talk, but they were entirely fine to do all of that and not send a message to check in, and they do this multiple times, it gets suspicious.

I gave them plenty of opportunities to let them tell me they didn't like me. They made me feel as though I was insane for even thinking that. It wasn't reassurance, hearing that. It just made me feel worse.

On top of that, they secluded me. They wouldn't let me talk to their other friends - and I understand that that is a choice, and I am not particularly upset about this one, but it can be a sign of manipulation. By keeping me away from all of their other friends, they made it so that I couldn't freely express my concerns about them to others who knew them, nor could I ever come close to tainting the image of perfection their friends held of them.

These things eventually led to me feeling completely worthless, taken advantage of,

They introduced me to one of their friends, very early on, who we will call X, and X and I became very close very quickly. X expressed to me concerns about the person who we am no longer friends with, due to their manipulative and toxic behaviour, and, soon after I met X, X cut them off for the same reasons I would later cut them off for.

On top of this, X told me about at least one other person who felt the same way about the toxic person. Knowing that there were at least two other people out there who felt the same helped. It made me feel less out of my mind for doubting the person.

Please do note that when I say out of my mind, I do mean it. I genuinely could not understand why I thought that they were mistreating me at that time, because I was still being manipulated by them. I thought that my feelings were extremely irrational. I thought I was paranoid, and imagining things that weren't there. I was doubting my ability to trust myself, and that is a very scary feeling.

All of this led to me feeling suicidal. I tried to propel myself off of the Golden Gate Bridge, because I live very close to it, and, at the time, it seemed like a good idea. It was not a good idea. Please never try to do that. If you are feeling suicidal, there are hotline numbers to call (I will reblog this post with a list), and if you need someone, you can always go to your friends, or you can come to me - I don't care if we've never talked before, you can come to me and I will take care of you.

So, the lesson in this is that if you are feeling mistreated and used by someone, no matter how close you are with them, you should rationally bring up your concerns and see if they're willing to work on them with you, or if they make you feel worse for bringing your concerns up. Manipulative and toxic people are hard to spot in your own relationships at times. If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, you should cut them out of your life. You do not need that negativity.

Friends do not make friends feel like shit.

If you have someone in your life that you are considering cutting out, do it. You wouldn't be considering it if it wasn't for a reason, right? Once you cut that person out of your life, you will feel better.

I cut this toxic person out of my life a week ago, and, already, I feel so much better. I have this weight off of my shoulders.

The first day was the most difficult. I cut them off, and then I started doubting myself. Was that the right choice? Would I regret it? The answer came very shortly after- no. I feel so much better after getting rid of them. They were a truly awful friend, and a negative influence to have in my life.

I feel good about myself for finally growing a backbone and cutting them out of my life. I've never done that to anyone before, no matter how awful they were to me. My family is very messy - drug and alcohol addiction runs rampant in it, and there are people that I should have cut out years ago that I never could manage to. In turn, they just came back to continue to hurt me. Knowing that I can cut someone out - knowing that I'm strong enough to handle that, and it will make me feel better - feels nice, I won't lie. It has made me more confident.

The person I cut out has not reached out to me since. They have ways of contacting me if they really cared about me and wanted to make amends.

I took some time off from this blog just to reorganise myself. I am feeling so much better now, and I see myself back here for the foreseeable future.

I have some questions in my inbox from who knows how long ago, and I will answer them eventually! Most likely today while I'm making cookies. Feel free to come and talk to me!

Sincerely,

A Happier Eliza Hamilton Holly