#fluffy considering they're visiting Tomoe's grave

[lisatelramor]

Ohaka Mairi

 First of the fic to celebrate 10 years of fandom, this on a Tiger & Bunny fic for @vulcansdarkest <3 I know you didn’t say WHAT for T&B, but hope you like this ^_^;; Also, who else is excited about the news of a 2nd T&B season???

***

Getting a call at seven in the morning on his day off was not a pleasant start to Barnaby’s day. The fact that it was from Kotetsu both made it better and worse. Better because Barnaby did enjoy hearing from him, but worse because if Tiger was up at seven on his day off, it usually meant something was up. “Yes?” Barnaby said, not bothering to hide that he’s a bit annoyed to be woken up on the one day he allows himself to sleep in.

“Bunny!” Kotetsu said, too cheerful by far. “Are you free today?”

Was that a trick question? Kotetsu knew it was Barnaby’s day off. He also knew that usually Barnaby spent half of the day doing a bit of housework and light reading, and the other half either socializing or getting out of the apartment in some way, shape or form. “I don’t have any time sensitive plans,” he said finally. “Why?”

“Great! Can you come over? I meant to ask you earlier this week, but you know, with work and—”

Barnaby tuned him out as Kotetsu went rambling on with excuses. Which meant Kotetsu was nervous about something and had been putting off asking, probably. Barnaby scrubbed at his eyes. “Fine,” he said, cutting off a babble about the importance of… picking the right breakfast food? He had no idea how that was relevant to anything. “When do you want me to be there?”

“Does ten work?” Kotetsu asked.

If Barnaby got up now instead of sleeping more, he could have a leisurely breakfast, clean his dishes, do a bit of exercise and read a chapter of his current novel before going to see Kotetsu. Or he could sleep another hour and be rushed through that list. “I’ll see you at ten,” he said and hung up. If he didn’t hang up Kotetsu could babble on for another half an hour. And Barnaby would let him because it was both somewhat irritating and something he found cute. He had a hard time refusing Kotetsu anything these days.

He realized a moment later that Kotetsu never explained what he wanted Barnaby to come over for, but that was Kotetsu. Barnaby stretched. Well, he was awake now, so leisurely morning it was.

o*O*o

Barnaby had a key to Kotetsu’s apartment, not that he used it often. More often than not, Kotetsu was waiting for him at the door by the time he came over, or they spent time in Barnaby’s apartment instead. No one was waiting for him this time so Barnaby let himself in.

There was music playing, the oldies that Kotetsu liked, and Barnaby could hear Kotetsu talking in a low, distracted sounding voice before he even reached the living room.

“Hello,” he called. “You said ten, and it’s ten, old man.”

Kotetsu’s voice paused and Barnaby had a split second to brace himself as he rounded the corner before a teenage girl latched onto him.

“Barnaby!” Kotetsu’s daughter cried happily. “You’re here!”

“Kaede.” Barnaby awkwardly hugged her back, looking past her to a very sheepish looking Kotetsu. “I didn’t know you were here today.”

“I spent the night,” Kaede said. “Dad and I always try to spend today together when we can.”

Barnaby tried to remember if there was anything special about today’s date and drew a blank. It wasn’t Kotetsu’s birthday and it wasn’t Kaede’s birthday either. It wasn’t a holiday. He couldn’t remember if Kotetsu had done anything around this date last year either. “Oh?” he said finally, pinning Kotetsu with a look that demanded an explanation.

“It’s Tomoe’s birthday,” Kotetsu said, fiddling with his wedding ring, and oh. Barnaby felt a stab of empathy alongside confusion. “Kaede and I usually visit her grave.”

“We bring flowers and a picnic with foods she liked,” Kaede said with a bittersweet smile, “and tell her how our lives are going.”

“That sounds like a great way to remember her,” Barnaby said, knowing how much they both still cared even so many years later, “but why am I here?”

Kotetsu avoided Barnaby’s eyes. “Well. You see.”

“Because you’re family,” Kaede said over her father, throwing him an annoyed look. “It’s about time you meet her. Someone was supposed to talk to you about it ages ago.”

Kotetsu laughed weakly. Barnaby was frozen by Kaede’s explanation. Family. “I know it probably seems like a weird request,” Kotetsu said, “but Kaede’s right. You’re part of the family. I almost asked you along last year but…”

“He chickened out, Kaede said, looking unimpressed by her father’s embarrassment.

“Right,” Kotetsu said. “You’ll come though, right? I’ve told Tomoe all about you so it only feels right to bring you.”

He looked so hopeful and vulnerable that Barnaby knew he’d never be able to say no even if the idea of visiting a stranger’s grave made him feel a bit uncomfortable and like he’d be invading their tradition. When Kaede turned that same hopeful look in his direction, any protest he could have formed crumbled like wet chalk. “I’ll come,” he said.

Kaede immediately brightened with a little cheer and Kotetsu smiled so soft and grateful that Barnaby felt almost guilty because he definitely didn’t deserve that sort of expression directed at him. At the same time he hoarded every moment Kotetsu looked at him like he was important. It was the last thing he should be feeling considering they would be visiting Kotetsu’s wife’s grave. The wife he still very much loved.

“Thank you, Bunny,” Kotetsu said.

Barnaby cleared his throat and couldn’t meet his eyes. “Is there anything I can do to help or…?”

“We made all the food this morning!” Kaede said holding up a bento-style box. “Dad has the tools and incense, and we just need to get flowers!”

“Tools?” Barnaby asked.

Kotetsu picked up a bucket, scoop, and a small broom and rake set. “To clean the grave,” he said. Barnaby, who had never had a need to clean his parents’ graves, blinked. “You’ll see,” Kotetsu said.

“You can carry lunch,” Kaede said, pushing the box into Barnaby’s hands. “I’m going to choose the flowers.”

Barnaby resigned himself to following whatever orders she gave him; he didn’t really know what to expect with any of this.

Kotetsu elbowed him gently. “It’s nothing intimidating,” he said reassuringly. “It’s mostly just a picnic.”

“In a graveyard.”

“Yeah, but where else is best to talk to people you love who moved on?”

Barnaby thought that if he was going to talk to the deceased then it honestly wouldn’t matter where he was doing it from, but if it was what helped Kotetsu, then it was as good a place as any.

“C’mon,” Kaede said heading for the door. “It’s a train ride to get there and I want to get the best flowers before someone else does!”

“You heard her, Bunny, let’s go!”

Barnaby shook his head fondly and followed after them.

o*O*o

Barnaby had been to Kotetsu’s hometown once, and he’d spent the whole trip feeling mildly overwhelmed as Kotetsu’s family welcomed him with open arms. It wasn’t really a surprise that Kotetsu’s wife’s grave was in that same town instead of the city.

“Graves are a family thing,” Kotetsu explained after his brother had dropped them off at the cemetery in his old work truck. He picked his way through rows of headstones that looked less like the graves Barnaby was used to and more like compact stone shrines with pebbled walkways between the rows instead of grassy hills and planted flower bushes. “Every family has one, and your ancestors are buried there, and probably your descendants will be too, though this cemetery isn’t too old, so… Not quite the spanning family shrine some of the real old ones are.”

“How far back is yours?” Barnaby asked, hoping that wasn’t too morbid of a question to ask.

“Eh, only to my great-grandfather. And not all my relatives got buried here. There was a fight in my Gramps’ generation and half the family moved north and never talked to anyone around here again, and if people marry out, then they’re considered part of that family and…” He waved a hand. “It’s complicated. My dad’s buried here though, and a few other relatives.”

“I see.”

“Hurry up!” Kaede called already far ahead in the rows of graves. “You’re so slow.”

“It’s not a race!” Kotetsu called back. “She’s only carrying the flowers,” he muttered, readjusting the bucket of water and garden tools in his hands.

“Want me to take the tools?” Barnaby offered. He only had the food in hand after all.

“I’m fine, I can do this much,” Kotetsu grumbled.

“Suit yourself.”

Kaede came to a stop up ahead, impatiently shifting as they walked closer. The grave was no different from the ones around it that Barnaby could tell, carefully inscribed with Japanese script and a walkway up to it with stone containers for flowers and incense at the base of the grave. It was better cared for than some of the ones they’d passed, but there were still a few scattered leaves and some grass poking up between the stones.

“Not too bad,” Kotetsu said, looking the grave over. “Kaede, why don’t you and Bunny take care of the weeds while I wash the grave?”

“Got it!” Kaede set down her flowers and grabbed Barnaby’s hand. He barely set down the food before she was dragging him over to the garden tools and claiming the tiny rake for herself. “You can sweep up,” she said hold the hand broom out. Barnaby took it and she ran over to start picking grass out between stones.

Kotetsu saw him looking lost and pulled him over. “If she has you sweeping, maybe dust things off before I wash?”

“Right.” That at least was simple enough and he swept away the leaves and dust on the main part of the grave before moving on to the places Kaede finished pulling weeds from to sweep that dirt and bits of dried grass away. Behind him, Kotetsu poured water over the grave and emptied the incense and flower containers of anything that remained in them.

The cleaning didn’t take long, but it was surprisingly companionable, Kotetsu humming something softly and Kaede directing her attention to the task with all the ferocity a twelve year old could manage. Barnaby helped get the last of the grass and they stood back to look at a very clean grave.

Kaede pulled out the flowers—tiger lilies and sunflowers, because Tomoe had liked them, Kotetsu had explained—and arranged them in one of the containers. Kotetsu set incense in the other, lighting it. A sweet, spice-scented smoke rose into the air.

“This is…” Kotetsu pursed his lips. “Usually we take a moment to say something privately, and then go on with things out loud.”

“I won’t interrupt,” Barnaby said feeling out of place.

“Well that’s no good,” Kaede said, “you should say something too.” She tugged Barnaby forward until they were all kneeling in front of the grave.

Barnaby didn’t know what to do, but Kaede bowed her head and made a face like she was trying to telepathically project her thoughts beyond the grave. Kotetsu didn’t quite bow his head or close his eyes, but he went very still, focused inward. They both had private thoughts to say, Kaede to the mother she probably barely remembered and Kotetsu to the woman he had loved.

He watched the smoke rise in lazy coils and wondered what he could say to this woman that meant so much to people he cared about. This woman whose presence lingered even so many years later in Kotetsu and Kaede’s lives.

Would she have approved of Barnaby if she was still alive? Of his closeness to Kotetsu or…? But would he and Kotetsu have gotten as close as they were if she had been alive? It’s a strange feeling, acknowledging how loss had shaped them both. Those holes never quite filled in and left a network of scars that seem to never end. But for all that they were lost, they had been loved. Tomoe was loved still, and no matter the occasional thought wishing Kotetsu wouldn’t hurt over her anymore, he’d never begrudge Kotetsu for caring. He just hoped that if there was a spirit out there watching, she didn’t mind too much that Barnaby had fit in to the broken places in her loved ones’ lives.

Kotetsu shifted, the serious look in his eyes fading to a nostalgic smile. He patted Barnaby’s knee. “This is Barnaby,” he said out loud. “Bunny. I should have brought him here sooner. He’s my partner and I care about him a lot, so expect to see him again in the future.” Kotetsu wanted him to come back and do this again? “He’s looked after me a lot the last few years, and I’d like to think I look after him some too.”

“You do,” Barnaby said, because it was true. They watched each other’s backs. Kotetsu helped give him purpose. Made him a better person. And he helped keep Kotetsu grounded and focused. He liked to think he made Kotetsu smile.

As if on cue, Kotetsu gave him one of the bright, soft smiles that made Barnaby want to fall into his orbit and never leave.

“He’s a pretty cool hero too,” Kaede piped up. “Cooler than Dad.”

“Ouch,” Kotetsu said with an overdramatic hand to his heart. He said something else, so quiet Barnaby only caught something about a promise, before he said louder, “I’m still doing my best, and Bunny helps make that possible. I hope you can welcome him into the family.”

“Of course she does,” Kaede said. “She cares about us being happy and Barnaby is part of that.”

Kotetsu laughed, lifting his hand from Barnaby’s knee to muss Kaede’s hair affectionately. Kaede squawked. “And look at Kaede, she’s almost a teenager! She was so little just a little while ago!”

“Dad, stop being embarrassing!” Kaede complained.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Barnaby teased.

“Betrayal,” Kotetsu said, leaning back like he took a blow. “And to think that I thought you both loved me.”

“Stop being a goof and let’s eat,” Kaede said.

“Right, right,” Kotetsu said with a sigh. He stood up and offered Barnaby a hand.

o*O*o

Kotetsu had actually cooked something that wasn’t fried rice (though there was a small portion of fried rice in the bento). Kaede, noticing him looking in surprise at the variety of foods, said, “Don’t worry, I helped. Nothing’s going to poison you.”

“I can cook just fine,” Kotetsu said, passing plates around. A single small plate went on the grave. Barnaby observed this and guessed that there’d be some kind of food offering and that the shared meal was literal in some sense.

“And yet all I ever see you make is fried rice,” Barnaby said.

“Oi. I made you fried chicken that one time.”

“Mm, yes. One time.” Barnaby smiled as Kotetsu pouted.

“You can barely cook.”

Barnaby shrugged. “You liked the pasta I made you just fine.”

Kotetsu opened his mouth, closed it, and pouted more. Kaede openly laughed at him.

“You see what I deal with?” Kotetsu said toward the gravestone, and oh that was a bit odd, but at the same time… nice. Like there actually was a conversation going on. “Bunny likes to tease me.”

“You make it so easy to do so.”

“You know what? You’re eating some of the seaweed salad,” Kotetsu said to Barnaby even though he knew Barnaby didn’t like it.

Barnaby wrinkled his nose but took it with good grace. “So all the food you included were your wife’s favorites?”

“Yeah,” Kotetsu said. He plucked items from the bento with a pair of chopsticks with ease, putting a little bit of each on all of the plates. Enough that everyone had one of everything, including the grave offering. “Neither of us was huge on cooking, but we both had a few things we made and we’d make them over and over.” He grinned at the memory. “I thought for sure we would get sick of some of them, but you know what? Crappy store bought pasta sauce on cheap noodles is still a comfort food. It’s funny though. When Tomoe got pregnant with Kaede she decided she was going to figure out how to cook for real.” Kotetsu placed a piece of chicken on Kaede’s plate. “She tried a new recipe every week. Almost burnt down the kitchen once. I’d come home and she’d drag me to the kitchen to either try whatever she came up with or help cut things up while she kept things from burning.”

“And you still didn’t figure out how to cook much,” Kaede said.

“Hey, I got better back then too! You don’t remember but on my days off I’d make you pancakes with silly shapes for breakfast and cook dinners so Tomoe had a break.” Kotetsu looked down at his plate, lost in the past. “All the recipes she liked she wrote down and kept in the cupboard… So these are the same recipes,” he finished, focusing on Barnaby.

“It’s kind of cool that I can sort of taste what Mom’s cooking would be like,” Kaede said. “Though I don’t know if either of us made it right.”

“No, it’s pretty close.” Kotetsu took a bite of some seasoned vegetables. “Pretty close.”

Barnaby ate slowly as Kotetsu and Kaede shared a few stories back and forth—things Kotetsu did with Tomoe or that Kotetsu’s mother had told Kaede about over the years.

“We went to high school together you see,” Kotetsu said to Barnaby, and Barnaby vaguely remembered it being mentioned before years ago, though Kotetsu rarely spoke about Tomoe much at all. “And I already knew Antonio, though we didn’t get along. Did I tell you about the kidnapping thing?” he asked Kaede.

“I’ve heard that story a million times,” Kaede said.

Kotetsu looks at Barnaby.

“…I feel like Antonio told it to me once, but we were drunk at the time.”

Kotetsu grinned. “So. Mind you everyone involved were idiot teenagers…”

Barnaby remembered more details as Kotetsu went into a story about gangs and kidnappings and how he ended up friends with Antonio and dating Tomoe and how she’d given him the courage to go into heroism.

“I knew I wanted to see more of the world than my hometown,” Kotetsu said, “but until then I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do. There are some things I regret but… I’ll never regret becoming a hero.”

“I for one am glad you did,” Barnaby said.

Kotetsu sent him a wide grin, and then conversation moved toward more talking about where their lives had changed since the last time they visited the grave, Kotetsu roping him in to talk about some of the more interesting arrests they’d pulled off and the charity work Barnaby continued to do.

As time went on, Barnaby found himself talking unprompted, bringing up daily life with Kotetsu and other heroes and the silly little things that meant so much because they were mundane. Like mornings on days Kotetsu stayed over, sharing coffee as they watched the news, or everyone hanging around the exercise equipment to train and tease and gossip to their hearts’ content. For so long life hadn’t been enjoyable. Barnaby hadn’t had close friends. But now he had mornings without nightmares the night before. He had friends who joked and teased and were there when he needed them. He felt fulfilled where before he felt driven by something close to desperation.

Now Barnaby had moments like this. Belonging because someone cared enough to make space to let him stay.

The food ran out and the stories tapered off. Kotetsu wrapped up the plate that the offerings were on—“It’s not sanitary or good for the wildlife to leave it, Bunny”—and Kaede lit one more stick of incense as she prayed again.

There was nothing for Barnaby to do, but he didn’t feel awkward anymore. In fact…

He knelt next to Kaede, this time trying to think of something to actually say to the woman Kotetsu had loved, still loved and probably always would. That love didn’t mean he didn’t have room in his heart for others.

Thank you, he thought. I don’t know where I’d be if he hadn’t been a hero. If Kotetsu never became Wild Tiger… If he’d retired after his wife’s death… If he’d walked away instead of agreeing to be Barnaby’s partner… Barnaby probably wouldn’t be here right now, or at the very least he wouldn’t be nearly so happy. I’ll try to keep supporting him. To be happy with him as a partner.

He took a breath and let it out slowly. I love him and I hope that’s okay.

Barnaby still hadn’t said it to Kotetsu yet, but he would, someday. He’d like to be partners in all senses of the word. He was pretty sure that they were halfway there already even if nothing had been said. Sometimes Kotetsu looked at Barnaby with the same soft expression he used when he talked about Tomoe and it gave Barnaby hope.

Barnaby would never be a replacement, and he would never want to be.

After a day like today though, he could picture that future, of being adopted into Kotetsu’s family truly. He wanted that.

I’ll be back, he promised the ghost of a woman he would never meet.

When Barnaby looked up, Kotetsu was smiling, holding out a hand.

Barnaby took it and didn’t let go.

o*O*o

“Next year,” Kotetsu said after they dropped Kaede off with his mother, “would you like to help cook with Kaede and me?” Kotetsu’s hands flailed a bit, garden tools rattling in their plastic bag. “If you want to come back again, that is! You don’t have to if it was too weird. I know you probably have different traditions for remembrance and—”

“Yes,” Barnaby said.

“Yes?” Kotetsu echoed, shocked. “Really?”

“It was… surprisingly fun considering we spent several hours in a graveyard.” He wet his lips. “And it means a lot to you, doesn’t it?”

Kotetsu gave him that soft look again. “Yeah. It really does.”

“Then I’ll be there.” Barnaby smiled back.

“There’s a festival in August, Obon, that’s a bit like a carnival and a bit where you go clean your ancestor’s grave and remember them. A little like Dia de los Muertos from what Antonio’s told me of his family. It would be all my family, but would you be willing…?”

“Of course.”

“Good because you’re family.” Kotetsu snorted. “I mean I’m pretty sure my mom adopted you back there.”

Barnaby laughed.

Kotetsu pulled him into a hug—a proper hug not just his usual arm over the shoulder. “Thanks. Really.” And Barnaby could swear he felt Kotetsu’s lips graze his cheek as he pulled back, but he wasn’t sure.

The light blush on Kotetsu’s cheeks said he hadn’t imagined it though.

Soon, Barnaby thought, letting their shoulders and hands brush together as they waited for the train home. Soon he would put the feelings in his chest to words. And by the point he did, he knew Kotetsu would meet him halfway like he did time and again in their partnership.