#for like 3 years so I could watch it after TOH ended so I’m blind to 90% of the show going in

[little-shiny-sharpies]

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[arnavsinghraizada]

A Hard Pill - Part 1

WOW GUESS WHO IS ON A ROLL TONIGHT? Not me, haha, no I wrote this a long time ago, and am just now putting it up. 

Am I going to force all of you to read my crappy fanfics? But… of cOurse? 

I’m sorry

Arnav Singh Raizada had lived through many things. He had survived his mother committing suicide in front of him, braved being thrown out of his own home at fourteen years old, even managed to come to terms with the woman he loved using him to get to his slimy brother-in-law. Unprofessionalism, however, was something he felt he would never be able to wrap his mind around. The cancellation of an internationally attended conference at the last possible minute was potentially the biggest mistake a businessperson could make. Then again, it was Multani’s funeral, he couldn’t have cared less. Some part of him realized that he was being incredibly irrational, the irritation and stress of a multitude of events piling up causing him to lash out the way he had. Being stuck on a red eye flight back to Delhi, back to his wife hadn’t helped matters in the slightest. After the way their last encounter had ended, he had been looking forward to some time away from her. Some time to sort through her words as well as his own feelings.

Khushi.

She was - he didn’t know what to believe when it came to her. On one hand, he wanted more than anything to blindly believe whatever she had told him about Shyam. He wanted to believe that she felt nothing for that snake - that maybe she felt something for him. He couldn’t afford to think like that. He wouldn’t be blindly sucked into another trap. Not again.

“Sir, hum ghar pohonch gaye. We’re home.”

Mohan’s voice broke his reverie and Arnav found himself fighting the pool of dread building up within him at what his arrival back at Shantivan meant. Khushi. Shyam. The entire situation was one big mess that he had thoroughly found himself stuck in the middle of. Gesturing for Mohan to bring his things inside, he turned and began to walk slowly towards the house that signified the destruction of everything he held dear.

He hadn’t taken 3 steps into the house when Di was there, overbearing and questioning as always. As much as he loved her, a small part of him had to admit that she was not who he had wished to see. A larger part of him had hoped Khushi would be there to greet him, look at him with that unspoken glint in her eyes, that devotion that he loved so much. Alarmingly enough, more often than not, he was less concerned with whether or not it was a lie, and more concerned with whether she looked at only him that way. It was a hard pill to swallow when he was forced to acknowledge that if she promised to only look at him that way, he could forget everything and spend his life giving her whatever she wanted. There was not a sum of money in the world, no priceless jewel that he couldn’t acquire for her - if she promised to only gift him with the pleasure of her warm gaze.

“Tum itne achanak se kaise agaye? How did you come back so suddenly?” Di asked, ushering him down onto the sofa as she called for Hariprakash to bring him a coffee.

“Di, voh akhri minute pe conference cancel ho gaya. At the last minute, the conference was cancelled. So I just came back.” He leaned his head back against the cool fabric of the sofa, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Acha kiya! Aapko pata hai, humne aapko kitni baar phone kiya! You did good! We called you so many times!”

There was definitely a scolding note present in her voice now and Arnav barely managed to suppress a groan at the upcoming headache he was sure to have.

“Khushiji ko kitni chinta ho rahi thi, unki toh halat hi kharab hogayi thi! Khushi was so worried, she was a wreck!”

For a second he felt as if his heart had stopped. Khushi had been worried about him?

“Maine message toh kiya tha. I texted, didn’t I?” He hoped his voice still sounded casual enough, that his desperation to hear more about Khushi’s concern for him wasn’t heard in his tone.

“Chote! Sirf message se kaam nahin chalta! Khushiji aapki patni hai, voh aapko miss toh karengi, na? Arnav, a text is not enough! Khushi is your wife, she’ll obviously miss you when you go away, wont she?”

Obviously. It seemed simple enough. A wife would miss her husband the first time he went away from home after their wedding. Except theirs wasn’t a simple marriage, an ordinary love story.

Love. He could’ve laughed aloud. He would’ve too, sheerly at the ridiculousness of his situation, if it wouldn’t have alarmed Di.

“Hum toh unhe aapke peeche peeche London bejhne vaale teh. I was about to send her to London after you.”

Arnav felt his heart thud erratically, absentmindedly running a hand over his chest to soothe the sudden ache. In another world, Khushi could have come to London with him, he could have shown her the entire world, watched her face light up at the different sights and foods.

“Chote, aap fresh ho jaiye. Vaise toh Shyamji aapke bathroom ko istimaal kar rahe teh, lekin ab tak toh unka hogaya hoga. Arnav, why don’t you go and freshen up? Shyam was using your bathroom, but he should have finished by now.”

And just like that, he was brought crashing back to reality. Shyam. In his bedroom. The bedroom he shared with Khushi. Some primal part of him roared in outrage, infuriated at his brother-in-law’s audacity. Struck with a horrible thought, it was suddenly difficult to breathe as he wondered whether that was the reason Khushi was nowhere to be found? He had to know.

In that moment, Arnav hated himself and his masochism. Why was he so desperate to cause himself further pain? To cement the fact that Khushi did not feel for him what he did for her. She never had and she never would.

Without another word, he strode determinedly towards the stairs, taking them two at a time as he advanced towards his bedroom.

The low murmur of voices made his heart stop cold as he realized that there were indeed two people inside. Ice seemed to be spreading through his chest as he moved close enough to hear what was being said.

“…Vaise bhi aapke Arnavji toh ghar pe hain nahin toh hum sochein ki unki kami hum hi poori kar de. Your Arnav isn’t at home anyways, so I thought that I would fill his place.”

There was no mistaking that voice. Arnav would recognize the crooning voice of his slimy brother-in-law anywhere. It was another minute before he realized just what was being said. He could almost hear his blood thundering through his veins, a knot of rage building inside of him.  

“Vaise gaur se dekhe Khushiji, toh kami bhi kaisi? Voh ho ya no ho, na aapko farq padta hai na aapke shaadi shuda zindagi mein gehra badlaav aata hai. Kyun, sahin keh rahe hain na Khushiji? Well… if you look closely, Khushi, what absence? Whether he’s here or not, it doesn’t make a difference to you, nor does it affect your… married life very much. Am I right?”

Arnav felt his hands curl into fists, blunt nails digging into his flesh. There was no mistaking the insinuation present in those words. That Shyam would have the audacity to speak to Khushi, his wife, in that way under Arnav’s own roof - he could feel his heart thundering in anticipation of the upcoming confrontation. The two of them had the nerve to - when Di was at home?! Pushing his own hurt aside, he let his anger take hold of him, anger at the injustice against his sister overrun his broken heart, agonized over what it considered a second betrayal. He had just readied himself to storm inside when he heard her.

Khushi.

“Bahar nikal jaiye yahaan se! Get out of here!”

She didn’t sound pleased - far from it. It would take a fool not to hear the derision, the anger present in her voice. Every muscle in his body seemed to freeze at her words. Her voice was like a wave of - something - crashing down over him. Something that seeped into his heart and melted the ice he had built up around it.

Khushi was telling Shyam to leave? She didn’t want him near her? His heart began its erratic thudding again, a balloon of hope rising in his chest. Could she-

“Arre vah, aapne varna nahin bola? Chalo hum hi bol dete hai, varna? Wow, you didn’t say ‘or else?’ Let me do it for you then. Or else?”

Arnav’s temper flared again. Shyam was the worst of all predators, so grossly oblivious to his own nature.

“Humne kaha na aapse- Didn’t I just tell you-” Khushi began, a hint of fear seeping into her words now, and part of him wanted to call out to her - let her know that he would never let anything happen to her. A larger part of him urged him to remain silent. This was the moment he would learn the truth.

“Arre Khushiji, humari baat samajhne ki koshish keejye na. Hum ab bhi aapki pasand ban sakhte hai, ek zamane mein toh teh hi, na? Oh Khushi, try and understand what I’m saying. I can still be what you want, at one point I was, wasn’t I?”

He could almost see the lecherous smirk that would have crossed Shyam’s face with those words and felt a strong desire to throttle the life out of him. To put an end to the man who had attempted to destroy his sister’s life, and was now attempting to harass his wife. The implication of Shyam’s words, that there had been a time when - that Khushi didn’t want - it wasn’t something he could bear to think about. If Shyam’s words meant what he thought they did, then he had a lot more repenting to do than he ever could have imagined.

“Nikal jaiye yahaan se! Get out!” Khushi cried and Arnav could imagine the fear she must have been feeling at Shyam’s words, the anger. Wordlessly pleading with her to hold on for only a while longer, Arnav’s hand braced against the wall, going white with the pressure of his grip.

“Humari kamzori. Aapki yeh ghusse bhari aankhein. Vaise bhi, aap Arnavji ko inn nazaron se kaha dekhti hogi? My weakness,” Shyam said, drawing out the last word in a way that made his blood boil. “Your anger filled eyes. You probably don’t look at Arnav with those eyes?”

The mention of her eyes, so pure and open - how could he have been so blind? Khushi’s eyes had always been open for him to find the truth in - why had he never bothered looking?

“Apni gandi zubaan se unka naam bhi mat leejye! Don’t you dare say his name!” She snarled and Arnav felt his eyes fly open, a kind of warmth gripping his chest at the protectiveness in her tone. …Was there hope after all?

“Hum unki nahin, aapki nazar ki baat kar rahe hai. Toh kahiye na Khushiji, sach hai na. Iss tarah toh aap sirf humein dekhti hogi. Aur aapka yahi dekhne ka tareeka humare dil mein bas gaya hai Khushiji. I’m talking about you, not him. Tell me though, you only look at me that way, right? And it’s that very gaze that has stolen my heart.”

Enough. He had heard enough. Striding forwards, he was met with a sight that caused red to begin to seep into the corners of his vision.

Shyam. Standing shirtless in his bedroom, hovering over his wife.

Both of their attention snapped to him upon his entry, and the horror on Shyam’s face was almost comical when Arnav began to advance.

“Arnavji!” Khushi cried and his focus was diverted momentarily when she ran towards him and threw herself into his arms. He could feel tears dampening the fabric of his shirt and his arms came up to hold her to him, revelling in the way she clutched him tighter.

“Aapne humein phone kyun nahin kiya? Hum kitne pareshaan teh! Why didn’t you call me? I was so worried!” She cried, her small hands moving to form fists and bang against his chest.

“Khushi,” he muttered quietly, one hand moving to catch hers and still its movements, “we’ll talk later.”

Something about his tone must have gotten through to her because her face was suddenly tense as she pulled away from him, the fear in her eyes apparent now. Evidently, she thought he had misunderstood the situation, yet again. Oh, she had no idea.

Moving her aside, he gently tucked her behind him, turning his attention back to Shyam who looked like a cross between furious and ill.

“I warned you to stay the fuck away from my wife, Shyam Manohar Jha.”

“Saale Sahib, hum toh bas - I was just -”

“Now you’re going to get it.”

A cliffhanger? But…of course! Stay tuned!