#for some reason i felt that the divorce meme was hilarious

[dapper-lil-arts]

How it feels 2 ship Sunlight and Sciset at the same time

[anotheronechicagobog]

My One Chicago Headcannons Part 1

Cornelius Rhodes either killed his wife or orchestrated it somehow, and Connor found out or saw and knows his dad covered it up and he can't do anything about it

Connor gives 90% ofhis income away to charity cause after he was exposed to the injustices of the world he felt like he really had to do something and is well aware that money actually does have a lot of effect on social justice and change

Helen Manning (Natalie's MIL) showed up to her son's wedding in a white dress and had some weird attachment to her son

Natalie is fluent in Italian and has been teaching Owen

Maggie was blocked from her family group chat after she sent her 1,000 meme and her aunts and uncles got tired of feeling old so her cousins and nieces and nephews created a group chat called Maggie’s memes cause they think she’s hilarious

Will Halstead violated people's DNRs because he wasn't there for his mother when she was sick/dying and he feels really guilty and needs therapy

Sharon loves heavy metal, she listen to one song like 30 years ago by accident and fell in love with the genre and when Maggie one day walks in and sees her bobbing along to Black Sabbath she looks really surprised but then Sharon shrugs, pauses the music, and asks whats up, and Maggie just kinda tucks the info away and is just happy that she knows Sharon even better now

Dr. Charles has a therapist, but isn't completely honest with her I don't think because he did some seriously bad shit to Reese that was obviously connected to his failures as a father to his daughters

Reese would have been better suited in literally any other practice of medicine but psychiatry but she made a rash decision after a bad day, encouraged by her manipulative bf, and just accepted psychiatry cause it was the best thing that came along after she dropped pathology

Joey was a POS who purposefully dated med students cause they were so naive

April Sexton wanted to be a doctor but was bullied into being a nurse by her family because they thought that her make brother deserved a better job than her because of their genders

April is so holier than thou because she found some power in social standing at her job and holds onto it for dear life to deal with the failure of her personal goals

Kevin gets invited to all of Kim's family functions (so did his siblings when they lived with him) and the entire family has basically adopted him as an older brother

Kim and Adam (separately) mail presents to Vinessa and Jordan for their bdays and holidays

Jay was totally a mommas boy and was taught to cook and bake by her (Will burns water somehow and it's shocking that he's a functional adult) he also knows how to sew and knit and made baby blankets for Owen Manning when he was born, Louie when Gabby started fostering him, Terrance Boden when he was born, and Makayla when Kim decided to foster her

Hailey can also cook and bake but it's almost strictly Greek food and the basics (she tried making bouef bourguignon once and it tasted like pigeon farts, don't ask) she;s also an amazing singer and Jay swears that she’s part siren

Platt has a vacation house in Southern France that she tells no one about, but it’s where she and Mouch went for their honeymoon, and she let’s the Hermann’s and Boden’s use it for vacations every once in a while but they’re sworn to secrecy

Voight is bi and secretly had a crush on Al almost the entire time they knew each other and he’s been taking care of Michelle since he died and Olivia (his DIL) got remarried and he hates her new husband but won’t say anything cause he knows it’s just because Justin’s dead

Voight likes some people in the world, like Platt and intelligence, but Daniel (his grandson) is the only person he actually loves and lives for at this point (if Olivia asked him to retire and move close to them for Daniel he would at the drop of a hat but he knows she wants space after what happened to Justin)

Severide’s favourite drinks are the fancy fruity ones but doesn’t drink them cause he doesn’t want to get teased about it (one of the only things Benny instilled in him, internalized toxic masculinity) so Sylvie orders them and gives them to him sometimes as a sign of friendship after he divorced the blonde he married in Vegas cause she didn’t go with him

Matt was in the foster system after his mom shot his dad not becasue he didn’t have any other family, but because no one in his family wanted him, so he actually has a massive family with lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins that he hasn’t seen since he was fifteen

Matt keeps in contact with Louie and his dad (Gabby just couldn’t and everyone understood) and gets invited over for Sunday dinner sometimes, and Louie’s grandma makes him call her ‘mom’ and treats him like a son and Matt is so grateful

Stella LOVES cars, she’s super into them and Top Gear is one of her all time favourite shows

Sylvie would be okay with getting pregnant and having a biological child but she really wants to foster and adopt kids cause even though she was six she remembers just how bad the foster system was

Sylvie has a green thumb and knows carpentry cause her grandparents taught her

Mackey loves country music and knows how to play guitar cause she likes to play along

Joe is really good at painting, some of Chloe’s favs are his acrylics but he prefers watercolours

Mouch actually became fluent in Japanese and does part-time work as a translator for the CPD

Hermann hates silence. He works in a firehouse and then goes home to a house filled with his wife and five kids, if he ever actually gets a moment of peace and quiet he blasts music, sometimes he dances too and it turns into dance parties whenever his kids catch him

Boden carves and paints wooden birds after his dad died and asked Casey to make a mobile for Terrance out of the ones he’d made and makes a special carving for everyone he loves on their birthday they’re Donna’s favourite gifts and she literally has a specific shelf for them

Gallo only likes cheese on pizza and quesadillas and the real reason he and Violet broke up was because cheese was her favourite food and she’d put it on everything (even though he gave an impromptu marriage proposal after the green eyed monster made an appearnce, she actually liked him and wanted to work on the relationship after she obviously said no, but cheese was a deal breaker for him)

Ritter is 100% a Dog Dad, Tuesday has five different beds, far too many toys to count, and he buys her gourmet dog food and treats, but it;s okay becasue Eric spoils her too

[professorchaos]

randy n clyde 4 the ask meme... switchin things up a bit :)

i already did clyde, so i'll just do randy!

Why I like them

in earlier seasons - honestly even up until the most recent few and all the tegridy farms stuff - i found him absolutely hilarious. he's a perfect poster boy for one of south park's funniest and most persistent jokes: the idea that kids are often smarter and more reasonable than their parents

Why I don’t

i didn't hate it as much as a lot of people, but nonetheless, the tegridy farms bit got old rather fast. it felt like... this character who had previously been so funny, when used in contrast with the kids, lost a lot of appeal when stood on his own. it reduced him to just, like, weed, sexual and toilet humour, and divorce, with less of the cleverness and genuine immature playful spirit that had previously made his character so much fun.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

you're getting old, medicinal fried chicken and a nightmare on face time

Favorite season/movie

i REALLY liked him in the black friday trilogy (the dramatic scar that was just a fake stick-on wound might be one of my favorite jokes in the show)

Favorite line

don't have one. i think the jokes that are the best with him are largely situational

Favorite outfit

i actually like his tegridy farms outfit better than his blue shirt... but it's GOTTA be his witch costume.

OTP

randy x years and years of therapy and family counselling

Brotp

WITH THE OTHER DADS OMG I GENUINELY CARE ABOUT THEM...

Head Canon

man i dunno... when he grows old he will start some kind of weird collection. stamps or something. just seems like a bit of a randy thing. he always needs something to get weird over

Unpopular opinion

i like him

A wish

go back to being a background character please bestie <3

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

i would be sad if he died ):

5 words to best describe them

dad i'd like to... study

My nickname for them

rands <3 randall <3 (just kidding. he's randy)

[zukadiary]

Ocean’s 11 ~ Cosmos Troupe 2019

Ocean’s was great! I loved it so much! I thought the previous two versions were fine, but never cared for either enough to go back and watch them again. Turns out if you adore every single person in the troupe putting it on, the ensemble cast makes it a home run. 

If I remember correctly, there are some noticeable differences between the Hoshigumi and Hanagumi versions. This was a slightly tweaked and polished Hanagumi version. The show does a great job of featuring a lot of people; nearly everyone gets something fun to do (it’s consequently not the best taidan for Akkii or Riku, but if it wasn’t their last I’d really say it’s good for everybody). The scenes change quickly (and flow a lot better than I remember), so even if a given person’s appearances are short they’re typically fairly frequent. I’m not terribly pleased that the prolific use of projections seems to be a continuing theme in Takarazuka, but Ocean’s actually used them WELL, and with all the hacking/security/surveillance going on, and the flashing lights and artificiality of Las Vegas, it actually makes sense. 

There are three (3!) major ad lib scenes that are different every day, something I didn’t realize ahead of time having only seen the previous versions on DVD:

Tess walking in on Benedict and his lackeys trying to physically threaten the Evergreen people into handing over the rights to their non-profit and Benedict having to lie about what they were doing

Saul giving everyone a pre-caper “acting lesson” in which Susshii says something ridiculous and the rest of the eleven have to remember it and mimic her in unison

Rusty pretending to be “Dr. Johnson” to cart Saul off after the fake heart attack that serves as a distraction during the actual heist (for those who can read Japanese, one brave twitter user is keeping track of all the Dr. Johnson ad libs)

...and these made me really look forward to seeing the show again and again. I probably could have gone every day and been thoroughly entertained. 

Danny Ocean is the most boring vanilla blank canvas of a character and requires the actress playing him to really bring everything herself. Fortunately, Makaze and her devastatingly attractive body could have stood in the corner in those open-necked suits without saying a word for 3 hours and I’d still have given it a 10/10. On top of that though, I thought she played him perfectly. Her sort of low-key coolness that for me has come off a bit stiff at times with some of her other top star stuff was spot on for Danny, who I fully believed was chill, aloof, and sexy enough to both pull off such an impossible robbery without a moment’s anxiety, AND stalk the woman trying to divorce him such that she was not only NOT immediately put off completely but also ultimately able to fall back in love with him. In the dream sequence that opens Act 2, when Makaze changes from serpent to prince and leaves the bouquet of flowers on Tess’s bed for her to accept whenever she’s ready, my heart clenched so bad I accidentally groaned audibly the first time I saw it. She also sang the best I’ve ever heard her sing. 

Madoka is a beautiful Tess, and above all else I was THRILLED that they finally let her have such a grown up role and that she slayed it. I had absolutely no doubt that she’d slay it; she’s a fantastic actress who as far as I can tell is only battling her round little face and height difference with Makaze when it comes to getting mature roles. But they styled her flawlessly and her dresses were to die for and she looked so fantastic I hope all concerned parties got the hint that this is fine. I want to see the two of them do something sizzling hot together (although I have to admit, dude chasing after his wife who wants so badly to divorce him IS a fun dynamic that we never really get to see in Takarazuka, unless they’re doing Ocean’s).  

I love Kiki more and more every time I see her, and while it’s hard not to be annoyed that she’s not a top star already, I will be so furious if they take her away from Soragumi; I absolutely love what they bring out of her. I think she and Makaze have a great dynamic together, and she was both cool and funny enough to make Rusty very enjoyable to watch. There wasn’t a single Dr. Johnson scene I saw that didn’t have me laughing out loud and wishing I had another ticket. One day I sat in B-seki with a group of students on a class trip, and one of them gasped すごい when she finished her finale-opening solo. Here’s a funny story from Makaze’s ochakai that I read on twitter: there is a duet between Danny and Rusty during which Rusty lights a cigarette, and apparently Koike wanted to modernize Ocean’s by giving him an IQOS instead. Makaze convinced him that was the worst idea ever and wants all Kiki fans to thank her personally.

MVP: Zun as Benedict. I suspect her interpretation might be polarizing once the world at large gets to see Ocean’s, but I loooooved it. Once upon a time there was a Japanese meme going around about what kind of date various prominent otokoyaku would bring you on, and Zun was pegged as a young, sweet, filthy rich kid who would reserve the entirety of Disneyland and then take you there. Her Benedict was like the evil version of that. I appreciated so much that she went a different direction than Beni and Daimon and played him as just a rich sleazy horrible asshole without the over-the-top comical bits—and she was STILL very funny, just as the straight man to everyone else’s ridiculous antics. She was so dark, so angry, and had such a scary glint in her eyes for such a cute little muffin; so impressively gross it was weird to see her smiling genuinely in the finale. And she’s a DAMN GOOD STAGE KISSER, astonishingly so for someone who’s yet to have a romantic lead outside of shinko and Bow Hall. I very much enjoyed her team as well—mostly Mitsuki Haruka as Taylor, Aishiro Moa as Beth, and Hoshizuki Rio as Charles, keeping things funny and chaotic. Kihou Kanata/Manase Mira were even hilarious as the bodyguards (Wakato Ritsu was a fine Bruiser, but IMO it’s pretty hard to beat Taso... and I felt a gaping hole where Fuuma Kakeru should have been).

Seiko could have carried this show by herself. For whatever reason—and I rewatched the Hanagumi version recently—I didn’t think Queen Diana, outside of being sassy, was as good of a role as it was (does the DVD fail to show a lot of her antics? Maybe. Was I doing a lousy job paying attention? Possibly). But no, Seiko was all over it, convincingly the biggest force in Vegas (and this cast). I am going to miss her so so so much. Akkii and Riku ended up with the more senior but less meaty roles of Frank and Basher respectively. While Frank is on the quieter side during most of the scenes with all the 11 except for his opening solo and arrest, I personally, for probably biased reasons, really enjoyed watching Akkii and Sora in the background, where Frank is very frequently trying to coerce Linus into getting over himself and just doing the thing already. I don’t know if this has been especially tough on Riku, but her eye bags have eye bags :( As much as I’m going to miss her, I hope she gets through this and takes a nice long rest. The Soragumi landscape is going to be so weird and different without these three. They come down for the parade together with Seiko in the middle and I got choked up every single time. 

I’m thrilled that Sora got Linus mostly from a rank standpoint; they announced Ocean’s before Aichan’s transfer to Senka and I was positive she was going to be Livingston. The role itself kind of unfortunately emphasized how tiny and behind she is in this troupe, but at the same time she was SO grumpy and SO cute. I feel bad taking pleasure in her angst but boy was she cute. She talked about how interesting it was to play someone who was struggling to overcome his own roadblocks, both as the only upperclassman to ever play this role, and also having just turned ken-10, where otokoyaku are supposed to “come of age” so to speak. And the frustration and uncertainty she put into the role was extremely palpable. As I’m used to her being a disembodied arm or a blurry image over someone’s shoulder on most DVDs, I couldn’t be happier that she finally has a whole solid handful of her very own scenes that I might actually be able to see not only in the theater. She’s closer to the middle when the otokoyaku dance too, AND she moved up a parade spot. I most definitely teared up when she came down the stairs featured between Rara and Mineri.

Moeko was SO CUTE as Livingston, and the scene where Rusty busts into Livingston’s place pretending to be an FBI agent was one of my favorites, along with the one where Danny comes to get the Malloy brothers and they mess with his face on the security camera. I’m so enamored with both Kotti and Yuuki Shion (Yuuki Shion dangerously so, YIKES; she’s like the awkward baby Sora I fell in love with reincarnated, plus she can do Komu-esque things with her legs and jump so astonishingly high). I will forever be obsessed with Susshii and how much joy and passion she pours into playing even the most crotchety old men. I don’t know what it IS about Rinkira that screams old man to the producers (other than that maybe they just need someone to do it), but I even liked her as Reuben, and Akine Hikaru as Yen a surprising amount. I always thought of Yen as a scary role that you don’t want your girl to get stuck with, and for someone prominent I guess it would be a bummer, but I don’t think I’ve ever noticed Akine Hikaru do much of anything before, so I was mostly just wide eyed at how acrobatic and good with a yo-yo she is. 

The finale is REAL good; Makaze is hot and a little sweaty and her hair is styled to make her look even sweatier. The top-star-in-a-harem-of-musumeyaku number is done in one of my favorite aesthetics, where the musumeyaku let their hair down (literally) no matter how intricately they were styled up to that point, and you can see the creases from their former pins and braids and it’s a little messy and loose and sexy which are all things I wish they’d let musumeyaku be more often, and Makaze is in the middle just like doing illegal things with her mouth and all that jazz. The otokoyaku dance is good too, and the duet dance is cute as shit (there’s a part where Makaze like boops Madoka’s nose and then Madoka pushes her like ~stop that~ and ugh). 

And speaking of ugh, the end of Act 1 where all 11 of them turn around and saunter toward the back of their stage after formulating their flawless plan put my stomach in knots, both for the sheer swagger and the overflowing love I feel for this lineup of this troupe. I know I’ve been saying this for like two years and it STILL hasn’t happened on the scale I’ve been expecting, but I can feel the transfers coming and I’m scared. 

[this-is-a-witty-url]

the great reylo fanfiction apocalypse 2018 part 25.4

the moral of the story that i have taken from the great reylo fanfiction apocalypse 2018 part 25 is that i don’t know how some of these kids survive in enc1102 or ap english comp.

their general consensus is that ‘fanfiction shouldn’t be criticized’ and the whole point of literature, no matter what medium it is in, is that it is open for interpretation and through interpretation comes criticism. that means that even if the author ‘does not want criticism, only praise’ for their work, the fact that they have posted their work on a public forum and have enabled comments on their piece automatically means they have opened themselves up to both criticism and praise.

whether they take it amicably and maturely is a whole another ball game. but for this writer here, nah. she’s trash.

moving on~

literally using the ‘rick and morty’ meme as a basis of argument to deflect the problems in a story is just down right fucking h i l a r i o u s.

and while historical, the writer has no idea how interracial marriages work or how racial tensions impacted interracial marriages. so to defend a historically inaccurate trashheap and tell poc that they are absolutely wrong about the way she has approached the sensitive issue is also f u c k i n g hilarious.

there’s nothing in the trash story that even remotely connects to any interracial issues that either character experiences in the story. in fact, the only line that remotely brings up the issue of interracial struggles is some brief one-liner,

faux!Finn and faux!Rey‘s marriage works until faux!Kylo with the Green Eyes decides to torment and sexually assault her repeatedly. When faux!Rey finds out that faux!Finn is having an affair with her friend faux!Roase, she is angry and resentful to both. faux!Finn then leaves faux!Rey for faux!Rose, but not before faux!Kylo with the Green Eyes brutally murders him and rapes faux!Rey.

faux!Rey’s entitlement here is one of the many problems that run rampant in this shitfest. the issue of an interracial marriage is treated so carelessly and the flimsiness of the events leading up to this so called ‘divorce’ in order to get faux!Finn out the picture so faux!Rey can become faux!Kylo with the Green Eyes sex toy is the reason why POCs are pissed off with this story.

not once does evil-shenanigans ever once tackle the race issue or struggle of race in her story. it is not once a driving factor, but suddenly out of the blue, time spent at a bunch of protests and rallies is enough to set them off. and when faux!Finn, a black man, declares that he feels marginalized in his marriage because he feels that his white wife is hiding him of his race, faux!Rey immediately rejects him and declares that in this instance she is right.

it doesn’t matter what he thinks because she sacrificed her little white privileged world to be with a black man.

this is white entitlement. this is the reason why a town in florida in 1920 was burned down to the ground and it’s citizens murdered and lynched. because a white woman suddenly felt affronted by a black man.

now, of course, faux!Rey does not run to faux!Kylo with the Green Eyes and sets up a murder pact. in fact, it’s far more disgusting than that as i described earlier, but the mishandling of the interracial issue is why people are upset and to dare call this historically accurate is a fucking joke.

the rest of the story is just pure snuff trash with faux!rey being physically and sexually assaulted for multiple chapters on end, faux!poe being complicit and faux!hux accompanying faux!Kylo with the Green Eyes on their walmart brand clockwork orange tour of a rape and pillaging (faux!Hux brutally rapes and murders faux!Rose for no other reason).

and don’t get me started on how offensive it is to use mental illness as a deflection for problematic behavior. 

racism is the last fucking problem with this story. the biggest offense to this thing is taking established characters to forcefully twist and deconstruct them into empty husks with the names that happen to be the same as the star wars characters. this is not a fanfiction. it is an original work that is written by someone who is trying to seek validation from a fandom that quite honestly does not need it. darkfic can be written in a way that does not sacrifice the integrity of the source material.

there are a shit ton of novels that focus entirely on psychological and physical harm. a clockwork orange, the hannibal series of books, stephen king’s it (and many others), the handmaid’s tale, to name some. there are also stories that cover the issue of race and sexual abuse such as the color purple, beloved, the joy luck club, etc. not to mention a decade of films just dedicated to vigilantism brought upon by a violent sexual act such as the death wish movie series and shows focused on criminal profiling like netflix’s mindhunter (good show btw do recommend).

so no one is saying that rape and murder and race can not be talked about. it is the way in which it is presented. but there is a point and time where things just go too far. stephen king got a lot of shit for writing a multi-page graphic orgy scene between 11 year old kids in his book, “it”, and it is never included in any film adaptation for a reason. the rapists and murders in most stories are never glorified and usually end up either dying in the end, suffering by the hands of their victim, or put away for good.

but when it comes to fanfiction there’s just lines in the sand that shouldn’t be crossed. star wars is one of those IPs where stories like this just don’t fit. if this was a hannibal fanfic or a mr. robot fanfic or an IP that actually touches upon and has characters with those tendencies, then it makes sense to go this deep and write a story covering those topics. but this trash here is not star wars. it’s not in character. it’s not even remotely trying to even come off as a star wars fanfic.

faux!Kylo with the Green Eyes is not kylo ren of the star wars franchise. he is a made up character from another world that was once named Nikolai Gunther. faux!Rey is a woman named Adel Pathsia. these characters do not represent nor belong in the star war fanfiction universe.

if you wanna know how the story ends, its all right here under her fiction press account. spoiler alert, faux!Kylo with the Green Eyes is going to impregnate faux!Rey in the last chapter.

and apparently they have two kids that are also fucked up and then there’s a third part but i can’t be bothered.

basically, there’s a bunch of white knights defending rape and racism and that’s why there’s so much trash on ao3 and why people like malovent-reveire/evil-shenanigans can get away with literally copying and pasting their original novels by just switching a few names. fanfiction is not original fiction. the two do not belong together. if people wanna write original fiction, then write original fiction but keep chewbaca out of it.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[paladinsuho-moved]

Bangtan Unsolved [sope]

SHIP: Min Yoongi x Jung Hoseok (feat. a little bit of Kim Taehyung)

GENRE: fluff, humor, angst if you squint

WARNINGS: nothing really, if you get creeped out really easily, I wouldn’t recommend reading. swearing, some suggestive language.

moodboard for the fic here and video this fic is based on is here

A/N: hihihi i just really love this ship and i also really love buzzfeed unsolved,, so this is what came out of it, also the fact that it’s october and i’ve been wanting to contribute to the fandom for halloween :0

They arrived at the house around seven o’clock. The sun had already set, but it wasn’t completely dark yet, the sky a deep dark blue.

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod,Yoongi, we’re here,” Hoseok said, holding the GoPro so it would stay focused on the front door, trying not to let himself shake, because otherwise, the camera would shake as well. “This is it,” He continued, more to the camera than to his boyfriend, “We survived The Belmez House, we made it through Myrtles Plantation, I’ve got my holy water, I’m ready for this final showdown… What about you, hyung?”

No answer. “Hyung?”

He turned to where Yoongi had been standing five seconds earlier, and he let out a slight huff of indignation at the sight of his boyfriend.

“Are you serious?” Hoseok asked, pointing the camera at Yoongi, who was currently taking a selfie with the address number, sticking his tongue out. “Ah, that’s going on Snapchat for sure,” He muttered to himself, and Hoseok cleared his throat to get his attention.

“What?” Yoongi replied once he looked up, “I wanted to get a picture with Satan before he eats us both.”

“Don’t say that, you insufferable fuck,” Hoseok hissed, causing Yoongi to laugh as he put away his phone. Hoseok’s nostrils flared in further indignation, but Yoongi just flashed a gummy smile, causing Hoseok’s indignation to waver.

“You’re cute when you’re scared,” He told him, trying not to laugh.

“Assuming we don’t die tonight, I want a divorce,”

“Hobi, we’re not even married—”

“I’m keeping the dog—”

“Oh, you know I wouldn’t let the dog get away from me. Or you, for that matter, no matter how much of an ‘insufferable fuck’ I am. Now, what were you saying?”

“I said,” Hoseok huffed, “‘I’m ready for this final showdown… What about you, hyung?”

Yoongi raised an eyebrow. “Oh man, I’m ready.”

Hoseok moved the camera again, pointing towards the front door as it had been before. “Ladies and gentlemen, here we are at the Sallie House, in Atchison, Kansas,” Hoseok said, putting on his narrator voice, “A house that is apparently known as ‘the most haunted house in America’, and is reportedly haunted by an actual demon.”

Yoongi nodded toward the front door, dangling the key he’d procured from the landlord a few hours earlier. “Shall we?”

“Wait, I’m building myself up to it.”

Yoongi laughed again, and this time, Hoseok couldn’t resist joining him.

“How about now?” Yoongi asked, trying to contain his laughter, to which Hoseok felt around in his pockets for something. “Wait, wait, I need to get it from the car.”

“Get what from the car?”

“The fucking holy water!” The amount of seriousness that came out of Hoseok’s grinning mouth almost had Yoongi doubling over in laughter. “Go get it then!”

Hoseok handed the GoPro to Yoongi, and he turned the camera to face him.

“Hobi always says ‘joke all you want, but don’t ask for any later’, and, well, okay, I don’t need any!” Yoongi told the camera with a gummy smile, “It’s hilarious. He’s so cute.”

A few seconds later, Hoseok returned, and Yoongi turned the camera to face him, before letting out a shaky breath as he pocketed his little bottle of holy water, before asking, “Oh man, do you feel that?”

“Feel what?”

“Everybody says that it’s bullshit when you feel energy, but… How do you not feel that? I mean, do you not feel a little bit weird?”

“Hobi, you’re insane. This house feels exactly the same as every other house we’ve been to for the exact same reason: none. of them. are haunted.”

Hoseok rolled his eyes, his smile never leaving his face. “Gimme the camera,” The taller boy said, motioning to his boyfriend, and he obliged, and Hoseok began to speak again. “C’mon, let’s get in there! Get it over with!”

Yoongi looked at Hoseok, before looking to the camera, grinning again before promptly opening the screen door.

The door creaked, loudly, and Hoseok let out a soft exasperated whimper. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Honestly, you’d think demons would know how to oil a door,” Yoongi mumbled, trying, once again, not to laugh.

Finally, Yoongi unlocked the door. “SATAN, I’M HOME!” He yelled as he stepped inside.

“Yoongi, I swear to god--”

Yoongi turned on his flashlight by twisting the top, looking around in the dark for a lightswitch.

“Oh, sure,” He said, turning to face the camera as the light landed on a baby stroller next to the staircase, which was to their left, “Way to sell it.”

As Yoongi found a lightswitch and flipped it on, the living room was filled with warm light and Yoongi nodded in admiration. “Do you know what a place like this would cost in LA? Like, an arm and a leg, maybe even a kidney…”

Hoseok shook his head, “You can’t be serious.” “Of course I’m being serious!”

“Can we just tell the story of this house?” Hoseok asked, a laugh leaving him.

“Holy shit, Hoseok, don’t look over here.” Hoseok always had a knack for detecting when his boyfriend was being sarcastic.

“Gee,” He deadpanned, “I wonder why ever not.”

“There’s a little teddy bear over here. I’m quaking in my boots.”

Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok had been dating for four years, and had been doing the vlog series for two. They were currently somewhere around 2.4 million subscribers on YouTube, hoping to reach three million by the end of the year. The vlog series, Bangtan Unsolved, consisted of them doing one of two things: either recapping the events of a mysterious, unsolved crime, or spending the night in a haunted house.

And while the trailers they put up for every ‘season’ that came out made it look intense and suspenseful, if they had to be honest, at least a solid seventy percent was just them making stupid remarks and wheezing at each other’s taunts, another twenty percent was Hoseok telling Yoongi to fuck off, and the remaining ten percent was legitimate inexplicable occurrences.

They’d spent their nights in places like Myrtles Plantation in Louisiana, they’d spent another around a New Jersey forest, looking for the Jersey Devil, another one in Suicide Forest in Japan. Their most popular video, when they’d gone to The Belmez House in Spain, had gone viral all because Yoongi had decided to jokingly announce “hey demons, it’s me, ya boy.”

At the moment, Hoseok had laughed and rolled his eyes before calling him an idiot, but if he’d known that it would cause his boyfriend to turn into a living meme, he would’ve asked him to say it ages ago.

A few minutes later, after they’d turned on all the lights to the set up the equipment, they sat on the couch, facing the camera as Hoseok looked over the folder containing the history of the house he’d typed up the days before they’d flown to Kansas.

Yoongi looked at Hoseok before he turned the camera on. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” His voice was serious, staring at the brown-haired boy. “We can leave whenever you want, if you don’t feel comfortable--”

“I’m fine, hyung. I may feel like I’m about to piss my pants, but you know I want to do this… sort of.”

Yoongi nodded, before gripping Hoseok’s hand in his. “If you say so.”

And with that, he turned on the camera.

“We’re back!” Yoongi raised his arms, flashing the camera a smile. “We’ve set up our equipment and our sleeping bags in the living room of Sallie House, where Hobi and I plan to spend the night--”

“For some stupid reason,” Hoseok remarked, shaking his head with a smile, and he felt Yoongi’s hand squeeze his in reassurance, “I’ve lived my life with only one rule, and that is: don’t fuck with demons, but here I am anyway… Shall we get started?”

“Go on! Tell your spooky story. I love watching you squirm.” Yoongi wiggled his eyebrows, moving his eyes from his boyfriend to the camera. The only way he could’ve made a more obvious innuendo was if he held up a sign that said: WE’RE BONING!!!

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“I didn’t even swear. Go on, tell the story.”

Hoseok rolled his eyes, before beginning to tell the story of the house.

“Located at 508 North Second Street in Atchison, Kansas, the Sallie House is the ultimate haunted house, and is widely considered to be the most haunted house in America. Built between 1867 and 1871, the house has had three deaths inside its walls: Michael Finney in 1872, William True in 1918, and Agnes True in 1939. And while the deaths have probably added to the house’s ghostly inhabitants, the real evil comes from something much different.

“While most residents have reported feeling paranormal activity, it wasn’t until the 1990s when Tony and Debra Pickman moved in that things took a turn for the sinister. What follows is based on their firsthand account of what started off as a small haunting but ended up becoming a living nightmare.”

“The Pickmans moved into the house on December 31st, 1992. The haunting started small: lights in the house would dim, the dog would bark incessantly at the entrance to the nursery, and their newborn baby would wake up every hour. In Debra Pickman’s words, quote ‘As if someone was playing with him’ unquote. The Pickmans’ neighbor could see the window of the nursery from her house, and eventually asked Debra why she kept the nursery light on all night long with the baby sleeping in there. This question came as an icy shock to Debra , who always turned the light off.”

“Oh snap,” Yoongi murmured sarcastically, causing Hoseok to break seriousness and laugh.

“That’s a little bit weird, don’t you think?” Hoseok asked, laughing again, and Yoongi shrugged, nodding a second later. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Anyways. Things got especially weird on July 14th, 1993, when Debra , Tony, and her sister Karen discovered all the stuffed animals in the nursery arranged into a neat circle, back to back, all on the floor. The three of them figured it was one of them playing a practical joke; so they put the animals back, turned off the light and went downstairs. To their horror, when they returned, not only was the light on, but a bear was knocked off its chair, lying on its back on the floor.”

It was Yoongi’s turn to laugh, causing Hoseok to look at him with confusion. “‘Oh no, we better leave the house, someone knocked the bear out of his little wicker chair!”

“What, are you saying you wouldn’t be, I don’t know, a little bit unnerved if you found a bunch of stuffed animals arranged into a little cult circle?”

“If the bear we saw when we walked in here was there then yes. Little fucker gave me the willies.” Yoongi’s sarcasm was spot on, causing Hoseok to rub his temples, trying not to give into the urge to laugh.

“MOVING ON. After that, like any normal person would, they packed up some stuff, took their baby, and left the house to stay with Tony’s parents.”

“But did they take the bear though?”

Hoseok blinked. “...I don’t believe they brought the bear. I mean… there’s— I can’t imagine why they would bring the bear.”

“While they were leaving the house, Tony felt a sharp sting in his back. When they lifted his shirt, they discovered three long scratches. Tony would continue to get viciously scratched as time went on, and at one point, a scratch manifested itself on video. The Pickmans would eventually turn to a psychic, who picked up on a presence named Sallie.”

“According to Debra Pickman, on the morning of October 31st, 1993--”

“Oh, Halloween! I always appreciate a demon who waits until the appropriate date to terrorize families.”

“AS I WAS SAYING, Tony went to grab a glass of orange juice from the kitchen, when he turned around, he saw a little girl in early 1900s clothes; shortly after, he sketched what he saw for Debra. I have a picture of the drawing here, actually, here it is.” Hoseok pulled out a drawing from the folder, holding it so the camera would see it, Yoongi tilting his head as he stared at it.

“And what may be a curious coincidence, a former resident who lived in the house shortly before the Pickmans, said, quote ‘my daughter was five at the time. She had an imaginary friend, Sallie. I would scold her for something, and she’d come back at me and say “I didn’t do it, Sallie did it.”, or, “Sallie told me to do it.”’ When shown Tony Pickman’s drawing 11 years after they’d moved out of the house, the daughter identified it as her imaginary friend from her childhood.

“The Pickmans also reported fires that would start on their own. In fact, two former residents before the Pickmans reported fires starting inexplicably in the room that would eventually become the Pickmans’ nursery. The activity continued to escalate beyond fires, however; a lamp was thrown at Tony’s mother. Tony reported hearing scratching coming from behind his bed. Quote, ‘almost like you had an animal digging to get out of the wall,’ end quote. At one point, Sallie even appeared in the room and grabbed Tony’s wrist, burning dark red finger marks onto his skin. At this point, Tony believed, quote ‘we’re dealing with something way beyond a little girl’, end quote, and begged to leave the house. Yet Debra, who at this point hadn’t witnessed anything alarming, didn’t feel the same.”

“This was the 90s! People had frickin' video recorders, right?”

“I mean, the scratches happened on camera!”

Yoongi groaned.

“Here’s the thing: this is what I love about paranormal evidence. People are always clamoring for it, right? And then, once they finally have it, they look for like five seconds before going like, ‘fake.’”

“Well, you’re not wrong.”

“Things eventually went beyond physical terror, however. According to Tony, quote ‘It got to the point where I, whenever I was in the house, I could not think any happy thought. It was just strictly, I wanted to hurt her. Hurt Deb. I… I was a whole different person. That something can come inside and make me capable of… doing that… it just, it tears me up. As much as I hate to say it, I planned on slitting her throat—’”

“Oh, fuck no!” Yoongi yelled, before quieting down, “Hobi, I love you but if you slit my throat tonight I’m going to have a hard time forgiving you.”

“Will you haunt me for the rest of my life?” Hoseok asked with a sarcastic smile.

“No. I’d be dead. Ghosts aren’t real.”

Hoseok’s smile disappeared. “Oh.”

“Keep going! I’m interested,” Yoongi pleaded, still sounding skeptical.

“Fine. In 1994, the Pickmans finally moved out of the house. At this point, you’re probably wondering who Sallie is. From what I could find, records show that a Sallie Isabel Hall did indeed live in this house in 1905… But, she was actually a 34 year old black woman.”

Yoongi broke out into laughter. “Wait, WHAT!?”

Hoseok couldn’t resist laughing as well. “Hear me out, hear me out!”

“No! This demon’s a racist! He had a good thought and said ‘oh, there was a black lady who lived here? Nah, I can’t haunt with that. How about a… a little white girl? A little blonde one, I’ll give her pigtails!’”

“Yoongi, that’s not how demons…”

“Fuck that demon, he’s whitewashed the history of this house. He’s everything that’s wrong with Hollywood.”

“If you let me keep going, I would’ve said that demons don’t present themselves as adults.”

“Ever?”

“Ever, Yoongi.”

“What about the old lady from Insidious?”

“Yoongi, that’s a movie!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“YES, WHATEVER. CAN I PLEASE CONTINUE?”

Yoongi nodded, closing his eyes, as if he were making the decision to allow his boyfriend to continue.

“I will allow it.”

“Yoongi!”

“Are you gonna keep going or not?”

Hoseok sighed.

“An entity like this needs to gain humans’ trust to feed off of them, of course they’re not gonna immediately come out with the horns and stuff, so they come out with a sweet little girl. It makes sense to me, I don’t know.”

“Whatever. Demon’s racist. I’ve lost all respect for this guy.”

A knock on the door caused Hoseok to jump, before realizing what it was.

“He’s here!”

“Who’s here?”

“I invited a paranormal investigator here.”

“...Of course you did.”

With that, Yoongi picked up the cameras that were right next to him, handed one to Hoseok, standing and following his boyfriend to the door.

Hoseok opened the door and smiled at the man standing outside.

“I take it you’re Taehyung?”

The man nodded with a boxy smile, and Hoseok stretched out his hand, and Taehyung shook it gladly, not seeming to mind the camera in his other hand, probably due to the fact that they’d discussed it on the phone the week before they came. “I’m Hoseok.”

Yoongi held out his hand. “This is my boyfriend, Yoongi,” Hoseok said sheepishly, and Yoongi nodded in acknowledgement as he shook hands with the man, still holding the camera.

“Kim Taehyung.”

“Min Yoongi,” Yoongi answered with a cheeky grin, “I think this is all bullshit.”

Hoseok wheezed with laughter at Yoongi’s forwardness

“Half of it is,” Taehyung replied with a laugh. “Let’s get to it!”

They led Taehyung to the kitchen, where they'd laid out several things: a few flashlights, their phones, Hoseok’s bottle of holy water, an EVP recorder.

“You think we might be able to communicate with something tonight?” Yoongi asked, voice dripping with skepticism.

“I’m not communicating with shit,” Hoseok proclaimed, raising his free hand before looking to his boyfriend, “Remember what the Father said the first time when we asked him for advice?”

“You mean, after his first piece of advice, which was, ‘don’t do it’?”

“Exactly.”

Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows, trying to remember, before Hoseok quoted the priest they’d visited the very first time they planned to go ghost hunting all for the sake of views. “He said, ‘I would do nothing to invite the demon into conversation.’”

Taehyung chuckled at the interaction. “Hate to break it to you, Hoseok, but you already are communicating with it if you’re in here, if we’re gonna be communicating with it.”

“Oh, hell no, I’m content with just standing in the background, you know?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, a smile on his face as he leaned against the wall.

They headed up the stairs, Hoseok leading the way. That is, until, halfway up, he got cold feet and stepped behind Yoongi, Taehyung watching bemusedly as the scene unfolded. “Yoongi, you go first.”

Yoongi turned towards him, pointing the camera in his direction. “What, babe, are you scared?”

“No, my mom taught me that ladies should always go first, you know?”

Taehyung burst out laughing, and Yoongi pointed the camera right in Hoseok’s face, his playful yet serious tone making a return. “Ladies and gentlemen, turns out I’m dating a misogynist.”

“Misogynist? I went to the women’s march with you this year!”

“One word, Hoseok: Microaggressions.”

“Oh, I’ll tell you what’s micro—”

Before Hoseok could actually bring up anything smaller than average, a soft banging noise caused them all to quiet. Taehyung’s laughter stopped abruptly, and the three of them, including the cameras, turned to where the sound was coming from: the room at the top of the stairs, the exact same room where the Pickmans had their nursery.

“What was that?” Yoongi asked, voice dropping to a whisper as he turned on the flashlight.

Hoseok could feel his heart pounding in his chest, adrenaline quickly flowing through his veins. But when Yoongi turned on the flashlight, and nothing instantly murdered them, he felt his nerves quell. Yoongi took another slow step up the staircase, and Taehyung did the same, forcing Hoseok to also take another step.

Hoseok forced himself to take a deep, shaky breath before he continued up the stairs, following Yoongi, who was having the time of his life, unwavering, holding the GoPro in one hand and the flashlight in the other. When they got to the top of the stairs, Yoongi stepped into the room that was the nursery before calling out, “Anybody there?”

He pointed the camera over to Taehyung and his boyfriend, who was frowning at him as he remembered another point the priest they’d spoken to had brought up.

‘I would do nothing to invite the demon to show itself—’

“No racist demons around here? Hey howdy hey?”

‘—No taunting whatsoever.’

“Yoongi, shut up!” Hoseok whispered, half serious, trying to keep his camera from shaking yet again.

He turned the camera to Taehyung, who was looking down at their EVP. “What's it say?”

Taehyung shook his head. “Nothing yet.”

Suddenly, as if on cue, the light on Taehyung’s device lit up, a bright green illuminating the dim room. At the exact same time, a chill rolled down Hoseok’s spine, and he felt the hair on his arms stand up.

“Holy shit,” Hoseok whispered, turning the camera toward Yoongi, while looking back and forth at both of the men, “Did you guys feel that?”

Taehyung nodded. “It feels like the temperature just dropped fifteen degrees.”

Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows. “That's just because you took off your jackets,” He replied, pointing at his camouflage windbreaker, staring at the pair as if they were mental.  “I didn't feel anything.”

“Because you don't believe in this stuff.”

“Exactly. You guys do. Placebo effect. Mass hysteria.”

“There's only two of us!”

“Fine, Hoseok. Dual hysteria. Whatever.”

Hoseok looked into Yoongi’s camera. “See what I have to deal with?”

Taehyung snickered, still looking at the EVP as he waved it around slowly, trying to get another reading.  

“Let's head downstairs, check out the kitchen,” Yoongi proposed, “Maybe we'll see Sallie. Or Satan.” He looked around the dark room. “Whatever you prefer to be called,” He said loudly, as if he was talking to someone who was ignoring him.

“Min fucking Yoongi, I will not hesitate—”

The quick journey down to the kitchen was uneventful, to which Hoseok was grateful. Yoongi set his flashlight on the counter, turning it off. Hoseok pointed his camera at him, planning to ask his boyfriend what he planned to do next, when he was interrupted by a scraping noise.

“Ohfuckfuckfuck, hell no, fuck that,” Hoseok muttered, and both Taehyung and Yoongi broke out into laughter.

“Hobi,” Yoongi wheezed, “It was a car passing by.”

Hoseok blinked, before also breaking down in laughter, feeling the moment releasing the tension he'd been holding in.

As the laughter quieted down, Hoseok shook his head. “No, but being serious, what now?”

Yoongi looked at the watch on his wrist. “It's almost like, one in the morning. Let's check out this last spot and head to sleep. How's that?”

Both Taehyung and Hoseok nodded.

“So,” Yoongi continued, flashing a devious grin. Hoseok’s eyes widened—because whenever Yoongi smiled like that, it was because he had gotten a really, really bad idea.

Yoongi pointed the camera towards his flashlight, and Hoseok backed away towards the table, where he had his holy water.

“Hey, de-maaahn,” Yoongi taunted, crouching to be at face level with his flashlight as it rested on the counter. “If you don't like us, turn the light off.”

“Come on,” Hoseok muttered nervously, “There's no way—”

The flashlight dimmed for a split second, before the light faded away completely.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung murmured. Hoseok jumped back in fear, a screech barreling out of his throat.

“What—the—FUCK!?” He screeched, and Yoongi cackled with glee. It was at this moment that Hoseok concluded: he was dating a psychopath.

“Do you, uh, d’you mind proving your point again? If you really don't like us, turn it back on.”

“Where's my fucking holy water,” Hoseok sputtered out, hearing Taehyung whisper to himself, “There's no way it'll do it again—”

Light shot out of the flashlight, shining in Yoongi's eyes. Hoseok screamed again, Taehyung watching in disbelief.

“You should’ve never talked to it, Yoongi!” Hoseok screeched once he was finished screaming.

He put the camera down, and Yoongi took that as his sign to knock it off. “Are you okay?” He asked. It was their code for, should I stop being a dick?

“I'm fine, I'm fine,” Hoseok replied, another scraping noise being heard in the background.

“Was that another car?” Taehyung asked. “No, that was the fucking flashlight.” Hoseok was actually laughing, a strange smile on his face.

“Oh come on, it's a flashlight, it's cylindrical!”

“T-Taehyung, what does the EVP say?  

“I'm definitely getting something,” Taehyung answered, pointing at the flashing green light, “Holy fuck.”

Yoongi grabbed the flashlight, hearing Hoseok wheeze out in between hysterical laughing, “You never should have fucking talked to it, Hyung.” He felt his chest pang slightly with regret, because, he knew that no matter how much Hoseok also enjoyed the goofing around with him on the show, he also knew that when Hoseok started giggling like that when he’d been screeching a few seconds later, it was because he was genuinely scared; his laughter was a defense mechanism.

He’d been the cause of that.

“I think it’s time we get to bed,” Yoongi muttered, and Hoseok nodded. Yoongi pointed the camera at himself. “We’re gonna be right back,” He explained, smiling lightly, “I think we need a quick break.”

Taehyung seemed to understand the situation just fine, no awkward hovering around the couple or tiptoeing around the situation. He said goodbye, wished them luck, thanked Hoseok for the invitation to be on the show, and left the house.

Hoseok sat down on his sleeping bag, and Yoongi plopped himself down next to him, quickly pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s temple. “I'm sorry, babe,” He said, “I didn’t realize you were that on edge.”

Hoseok shook his head. “I wasn’t that on edge until the flashlight turned on.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No. Just… Just hold me, please.”

Yoongi nodded, and put his arm over Hoseok’s shoulder, allowing his boyfriend to bury his face into his neck.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Hoseok gripping onto Yoongi’s free hand in the dimly lit living room.

During the entirety of the show, Yoongi maintained his skeptical persona on camera. But when it came down to his personal opinion, Yoongi had seen some truly unusual things happen (the flashlight not included. It could have been twisted incorrectly. It was cylindrical. Cylindrical objects tend to roll), things that could truly not be explained; and on the inside, he did have the occasional doubt, the occasional ‘what if I take things too far this time?’.

The thought of some unseen entity hurting him and taking Hoseok away was low-key terrifying, and he clung onto his skepticism as stubbornly as he did for both his and Hoseok’s sake. Because if he let go of his skepticism, he’d be letting go of his logic, and they would both be screwed; they’d be two idiots with a camera screaming in the dark. And while they already were two idiots with a camera in the dark, only one of them screamed (That being Hoseok, obviously. Min Yoongi didn’t scream).

“Hey,” Yoongi whispered, trying to lighten the mood, “Have you ever considered having sex in a haunted house?”

“Oh. My. God.”

“I’m just saying, what if Sallie’s a secret voyeur? Maybe she took up the job of haunting the house so she could watch people get freaky.” Yoongi said, and Hoseok snorted, finally looking at his boyfriend. Even in the dim light, he could make out his mint green hair, and his suggestive, gummy smile, as he wiggled his eyebrows. “You’re an asshole.”

“You love me anyway.”

Hoseok nodded. “That’s true.”

“Should we sleep?”

“Yes, please.”

Yoongi nodded, unzipping his windbreaker, and pulling the cover of the sleeping bag off. “Do you want to edit this part out? Because the cameras we set up around here are still rolling, you know.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok answered. “I don’t want anyone to hear you suggesting we bang here.”

“It’d get us a lot of views, you know.”

“Yoongi.”

“Alright, alright.”

They settled into their sleeping bags, and Yoongi turned off the flashlight, setting his GoPro next to him. He turned to look at Hoseok in the dark. “Hey, Hobi.”

“Hey, hyung.”

“You know I love you right?”

“Of course I do. I love you too, Yoongi.”

Yoongi smiled in the dark, and he saw Hoseok smile back.

In that moment, from both Hoseok’s and Yoongi’s perspectives, ghosts didn’t exist. Neither did demons. They weren’t in the Sallie House. They were at home.

Because for them, home wasn’t their little apartment in LA. Home was each other.

And nothing, nor human nor supernatural, could change that.

[ramajmedia]

Two And A Half Men: 10 Times The Show Broke Our Hearts

You don’t think of Two and a Half Men when you want a show that will make you feel sad. The show became a mockery of what it used to by its end, and all the heartbreaking moments dried up in favor of cheap jokes. 

RELATED: 10 Things That Make No Sense About Two And A Half Men

However, this only makes the earlier moments where the show was at its best stand out more, along with bringing the moments that signaled the series’ dip from quality in more of a stark light. We’re sure you’re still wondering when Two and a Half Men was so serious, so here are 10 times the show broke our hearts for you to see for yourself.

10 Alan Undergoing Lab Testing For Money

You can’t fault Alan for being such a cheapskate considering he had to shell out more than $4,000 a month just for alimony, and the poor guy had to dig deep into desperation to earn that amount.

We saw the worst of this in one episode, where Alan was shown undergoing lab testing of various kinds just so he had money to pay for his alimony and child support. It was played off for laughs, but seeing Alan undergo all those horrible side effects did break our heart for him to see the guy struggle so much.

9 Jake Stops Talking To Alan

Jake is a complete dummy, so it becomes a big deal when he starts taking things seriously. In Season 8, Jake was at his angriest when he found out Alan was having a secret relationship with Jake’s best friend’s mother. 

RELATED: 10 Things You Didn’t Know About That ‘80s Show

It was around this time that Jake stopped visiting Alan completely out of anger and refused to speak to his father. The surprise and hurt in Alan’s face were enough to make us feel sorry for him for being cut off from his own son’s life. It was the first time in a while that Two and a Half Men had felt very real.

8 Charlie Reflects On His Life

In one episode, Charlie’s visiting friend died after a lifetime of drinking and debauchery; this caused Charlie to rethink his own life. The show did a good job at getting around this too, as Charlie imagined his own funeral where he was disrespected by every attendee. 

RELATED: 10 Things That Make No Sense In Cheers

Those who know of Charlie Sheen’s exploits will have understood this was a kind of representation of how the actor must have felt in real life too, and it went a good way in humanizing the character who had been deep into his antics for quite a while by that point.

7 Charlie And Chelsea's Final Interaction

The entirety of Season 6 and Season 7 detailed the beginning, blossoming, and falling out of Charlie and Chelsea’s relationship. By its end, it was a shame seeing these two break up for good, as Chelsea had changed Charlie so much.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory: 10 Hilarious Sheldon Memes That Are Too Funny

Before Season 8 started, the hope was that Chelsea would return like so many of Charlie’s other love interests had, but their final interaction turned out to be definitive. The sad part is that both of them looked heartbroken for their relationship to be over, and there wasn’t anything particularly funny about it.

6 Charlie's First Death

Maybe Chuck Lorre thought he could get the fanbase to stop caring about Charlie Harper’s character by making a total mockery of him, but fans never got onboard with the revamp of Two and a Half Men.

RELATED: Every Chuck Lorre TV Show, Ranked

Even though Charlie Sheen was fired, fans had a liking toward his character on the show and to see his ashes being scattered around, while everyone present consistently joked about how horrible was, was not the farewell we wanted. It ended up being a sad episode rather than a funny one.

5 Charlie's Second Death

Again, Chuck just didn’t let go of his anger toward Sheen to give us a proper finale, and Two and a Half Men ended with Charlie Harper flattened by a piano. It would have been so much better to give us a heartfelt goodbye rather than a total fiasco that the finale was, and the sight of Charlie Harper’s death was just sad.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory: 10 Times Amy And Penny Were Friendship Goals

Four years since that finale, fans generally feel it’s a shame that the character went out the way he did. After all, they could have made it better by having an off-screen departure, but in-universe Charlie Harper was crushed to death, making this a very gruesome fact.

4 When Walden Threw His Ring In The Ocean

Like it was before, Alan was again down and out with his finances and needed something big to bail him out. Walden, being a millionaire, had in possession Bridget’s ring that was worth an eye-popping amount, which Alan attempted to pawn off.

When he couldn’t bring himself up to do it and returned it to Walden, the latter threw it in the ocean. Alan’s plight was very clear as we saw in his face all the money he could have had to bail himself out of his problems. You can’t help but feel for him at the “So close, yet so far” aspect of this situation.

3 When Jake "Grew Up"

Let’s be honest and admit none of us wanted to see Jake get all those grown-up storylines Alan and Charlie had. So, when the show did evolve into giving Jake adult-oriented angles, the fans were sad to see the little boy having grown up in a bad way.

This first happened in the Season 8 premiere, where we saw two girls escape from Jake’s room in the morning, having clearly spent the night there. By the episode’s end, there was confirmation that Jake really had been up to some adult stuff, which made us all sad that now he too was becoming like Charlie and that the innocence was gone.

2 Alan And Judith's Divorce Confirmation

In earlier days, Two and a Half Men had a lot of heart in it, and the best moment of this was when Jake consoled Alan for his divorce. Here, Charlie made Jake understand that Alan was hurting inside and that he was putting up a brave face for Jake’s sake, which got Jake to appreciate his father.

RELATED: Friends: 7 Reasons Ross And Rachel Really Were On A Break (& 3 Reasons They Weren’t)

It was both heartwarming and shattering to see Jake approach Alan for an impromptu hug, as it was made aware to the viewer that Alan could never be with his son completely now that Judith had brought him to his lowest point.

1 Every Time Charlie Admitted He Loved Alan

Yes, this should be heartwarming rather than sad, but we know that all of these brotherly scenes meant nothing in the overall context of the show. The times where Charlie begrudgingly admitted he loved Alan were the best parts of the series; however, in the end, their impact was negated.

The final episode of the series even had Alan worry that Charlie was alive and prefer him to be dead, which makes it clear that those brotherly times were there just for the sake of the episode rather than having weight on the show’s canon.

NEXT: How I Met Your Mother: 10 Best Songs Featured On The Show

source https://screenrant.com/two-half-men-times-show-broke-hearts/

[rosaryteeth]

found an ask meme just so i could answer some questions because i’m BORED i need something to do

1. Are you a virgin?

no

2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size?

i don’t even know my bra size anymore 

3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs?

not that i know of, but it’s not rlly yknow...widely discussed i think

4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity?

no

5. Do you swear under celibacy?

no lmao sometimes i wish i did bc i don’t have sex often enough and celibacy would give me a voluntary reason to not have sex

6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven't, when would you like to?

i was 19, the summer after my sophomore year of college

7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex?

no yikes 

8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex?

no 

9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission?

kind of?? it was over facetime and i couldn’t see anything below the waist 

10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?

honestly i’ve really never had sex in a weird place. it was only weird to me bc of the situation but the last time i had sex was in the guy’s family’s house, and his family is like super well known in my city so it felt like a weird accomplishment to get railed inside their home

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex?

i’ve never done either, but there are so many pros and cons to both. pro, outdoor sex would have more room, but con, the thought of getting like grass or dirt or any foreign bits in my vagina sounds terrible. i think i’d rather do it in a car

12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not?

i was 14 when i reeeally did it, like gave myself an orgasm and vaguely knew that was what i was trying to do. but i started messing around with myself some when i was 13, i just had no idea how my anatomy actually worked

13. Have you ever helped someone "finish"?

yes

14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too)

i guess (i never think of it as a clitoral erection lmao that just sounds so weird to me)

15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too)

uh like two nights ago, i masturbate almsot every night just because

16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

thankfully no one can see these clitoral erections B)

17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

it used to be just clitoral (just hands or a vibrator), but in the last few months i discovered crystal dildos and now that is where its at

18. What is your bra/penis size?

again i have no idea

19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member?

yes

20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

i guess crystal dildos are kinda strange

21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better?

why can’t it be BOTH

22. When was the last time you masturbated?

tuesday night i think

23. When was the last time you had sex?

in november lmao it’s been too long

24. When was the last time you watched porn?

probably the last time i masturbated 

25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

yes, i bought my first vibrator two years ago when i was 19, and yes it still works 

26. Guys: Circumsized?

welp

27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

my NECK i will be putty in your hands if you touch my neck

28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

i mean....everything

29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

no, i don’t really have a ton of feeling in my nipples, never have

30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing?

navy blue from victoria’s secret 

31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude?Did it include sexual actions?

yes i’ve sent pictures of myself that were sexual but i’ve never sent one with actual nudity

32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website? Did it include sexual actions?

yes, i’ve posted ~tasteful nudes~ here and on my finsta for my friends. none included sexual actions

33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?

no

34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

no

35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

it’s been a while. i think i had one a few weeks ago?? i forget

36. Which wet dream was your favorite?

honestly i don’t rlly have sexual dreams very often, and when i do they’re more frustrating than anything because i always wake up as soon as the actual sex starts 

37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

yes, idk if he’s entirely my friend, probably more of an aquaintance, but it’s someone i’ve had sex with before & would do again

38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

i wanna get spit roasted by mads mikkelsen and hugh dancy as hannibal and will

39. Have you ever masturbated with someone?

over facetime, and also kind of during sex?? like only for a minute

40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member?

no, shower sex sounds scary i’d probably slip and die 

41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you?

i fuck with a good missionary, no hate to that (like when you alter it with leg positions especially). i’m also a big fan of being on my side with the guy like kneeling upright

42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

SO MUCH. literally like one of my biggest kinks 

43. Are you into any BDSM?

i’ve never really done any, but i’m very open to it

44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

yes kind of. it’s always been people i’ve had sex with before, and either it’s just not possible at the time bc of whatever reason, or they’re not interested anymore 

45. Turn on's?

dirty talk, degradation, anything to do with my neck, spanking, man anything if i’m into someone sexually everything they do will turn me on

46. Turn off's?

idk about specific things during sex, but if i don’t feel a sexual vibe connection with somenoe, i’ll never be attracted to them so it’ll just never happen

47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover?

yes i’ve had sexual fantasies, mostly just reminiscing on past sexual encounters. i guess other times that i fantasize (in the present situation), there’s no specific person involved in the fantasy 

48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex?

i used to have facetime sex when i was in a weird tumblr relationship

49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on?

i guess when i realized i was so into being called a slut, it was a little weird. i just never thought it would be my thing

50. Do you like dirty talk?

SO MUCH. 

51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

i can be quiet if i have to be, but also can get loud if it’s allowed. usually i’m pretty quiet during masturbation, but every now and then i’ll make some sounds 

52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

yes, a couple times with my ex. once, his roommate came home while we were in the middle of it, and we didn’t realize he was back til he pounded on the wall and told us to shut up. then twice, his mom interupted us. the first time, she definitely knew what was going on bc she wasn’t home when we started and we didn’t know she came back. the second time i don’t think she had any idea, she just called him out to look at something or something, and he had to very hastily try to pull himself together 

53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story?

getting caught by my ex’s mom was pretty embarassing 

54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story?

i guess maybe that’s kinda funny too? thankfully i have no funny or embarassing masturbation stories 

55. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

i’m a fan of the locally grown organic content on tumblr, usually people masturbating is my go to

56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome)

i think it was a group of girls masturbating together

57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under?

last time, i just scrolled through a porn blog on tumblr and looked at whatever came up

58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched?

that porno with the thing about the lemon tree that was a meme a few years ago

59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older? Younger? How much younger?

yes, technically. 2/3 guys i’ve been with are older than me (one only by a few months, the other by two or three years), and the other  is younger than me by a year and a half 

60. Favorite sex toy (if any)?

crystal dildos are life changing 

61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren't satisfied with their sex?

no, but that’s a true fear right there 

62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel?

no

63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?

if it was someone i was interested in, yes. if not, then no, likewise for a tumblr follower. 

64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you've had about them?

yes, when i had sex dreams about my ex (while we were together), i told him about it

65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos?

i���m not sure?? does anyone have sex like in pornos?

66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

i think i told my ex i masturbated to him (also while we were together, i’m not a weirdo)

67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?)

yes

68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm?

when i was 14 and realized where the clitoris is 

69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way)

only by myself, so far i’ve not been able to orgasm with a partner. they’ve all put in a noble effort, but i think i’ve accidentally conditioned my body to only be able to cum by myself 

70. Favorite type of oral?

giving B)

71. Strangest sexual positon you've tried?

i don’t really think i’ve ever done anything that crazy as far as positions go

72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion?

no

73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal?

obviously vaginal is number 1, but i’ve done anal for a very brief amount of time before, and i’m open to exploring it more

74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal?

clitoral and vaginal (only vaginal if i have a toy)

75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

submissive

76. Have you ever masturbated to someone?

yes 

77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn't there when you needed them?

yes

78. Have you ever had a one night stand

technically?? it wasn’t supposed to be a one night stand in the technical sense, but we ended up only having sex once 

79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

yes, i’ve had two. one of them was barely beneficial at all, one of them was a lot better, and maaaaybe still beneficial?? but i don’t really think he’s into it anymore

80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner?

in the cheating sense, no, but i’ve had sex with people i wasn’t dating (while i was single otherwise)

81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else?

also in the cheating sense, no. all of them have had sex with people other than me though, i’ve never been someone’s first 

82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover's or someone else's?

no thank GOD 

83. Birth control or condoms?

birth control 

84. Do you ever masturbate to porn?

yes

85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them?

yes, i think all my friends know just bc we talk about all sexual shit

86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active?

my mom knows i lost my virginity to my ex, but she has no idea i’m still technically active

87. Do you have any STDs?

no 

88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity?

no

89. Have you ever had sex during "7 minutes in heaven"?

no i’ve never done 7 minutes in heaven at all

90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral?

swallooooooow

91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else?

yes to both. i’ve been turned down by a former friend with benefits, and i’ve never been specifically propositioned for sex and turned them down, but i’ve turned down guys i know were interested in me

92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time?

lmao i did before i lost it. i didn’t want to have sex with them, but they always said they’d be happy to take it for me by a certain age. i just wanna have a good time fam

93. Have you ever experiented with the opposite sex?

yes

94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious?

kind of both?? i’d been dating my bf at the time for a little over a month, and it was known we both wanted to have sex, and he knew i was a virgin so he wanted to wait til he was sure i’d be okay. we kind of vaguel talked about it happening this one weekend, but then the night i thought we would do it, we didn’t because it felt too weirdly planned out. we ended up spontaneously having sex two days later

95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone?

no

96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity?

yes i told so many people lmao. i think the first person i told was clayton, bc i always told him i’d text him immediately after. so like 40 minutes after i texted him like GUESS WHAT I JUST DID

97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated?

i assume they’ve all assumed 

98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but can't?

i don’t really have a lover. i saw the last boy i had sex with on new year’s eve, and i would sleep with him again if he wanted, but i’m not sure if he realizes that/is interested 

99. Do you like masturbation?

of course

100. (Asker's ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes?

well i asked myself so B))))))

[laurenzimmer-blog]

23

I am terribly afraid of getting sunburnt because once when I was in the 5th grade I burned my back at the beach. I borrowed an oversized cat shirt from my Nana and when I removed it I was bright red. She pulled me in her bathroom and I tried to avoid her by looking at her antique silver mirror sitting upon the white tile. She knew my dad was going to get upset since he was very prone on instilling the fear of skin cancer into me. She handed me some aloe vera and told me I was not going to get skin cancer after one burn. I took the off-branded aloe vera and walked into the guest room.

And I quickly wondered how I’d explain to my dad how I got imaginary skin cancer.

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Every year for my birthday I attempt to write about what I’ve learned this past year, but it was difficult to write about being 22. I am afraid the main thing I have learned is actual “adult life” is the messiest encounter one can have. I miss not having to worry about rent, taxes, or calling my doctor. I miss not having to drive in traffic, thinking if I am going to die if I eat another donut, or if I am truly as together as a Pottery Barn catalogue. But I suppose adult life isn’t completely terrible. Sure, I hate that I have to start buying more blouses, and wonder if I will spill red wine on those blouses like the true class act that I am, but there’s this sense of independence I have truly loved.

I think you get a glimpse of independence at age 18, but you do not fully understand its significance. You can vote, have no legal curfew, and can buy a lottery ticket. However, I do not think “adult independence” really hits one until he or she is living in an apartment outside of school where one questions if whether the mitochondrion was more important to learn than what a mortgage was.

Being 22 does not feel like summer camp. 22 feels like a day camp you volunteered for, but all the children escaped and it’s your fault. In other words it’s terrifying and not as hilarious as if this scenario were in Shrek 5. It is exhausting, stressful, and existential. Many days you wake up drinking coffee because it might be the only thing keeping you alive. It’s a weird feeling to go from napping in the middle of the day to forcing yourself to be awake before the sun. And you question why you constantly keep going.

But adult life does give you the opportunity to make decisions for yourself. I do not have to live in Los Angeles. I really don’t. I often wonder if I should give it up to teach in Minneapolis with a cat named Felix. But then I remember I am far too stubborn to quit.

Being 22 was not entirely awful. I worked on my first feature, video game, and commercials. I have a lot of guilt for complaining about my life at 22. On paper it should look amazing and phenomenal. And although I see this and am grateful, I often wonder if I am going crazy.

But then I remember that everyone feels this at 22, or rather as an adult.

I think everyone is crazy, but we don’t know whose craziness will have a lasting impact on us. I think we are much more self-conscious than we think. Even the most confident person has moments of self-doubt and will think it is strange if someone does not like them. And because of this I think people can be toxic to each other, but conversely I think there’s this beauty in the craziness presented in the adult world.

There is no correct answer for the reasons we connect with someone, but I think it could be a result of our insecurities. However, I think this romanticism can make some fall into a trap where their job is to “fix” others. I don’t think it has to be this way. I also don’t know if I truly believe that we are all missing a “part” and someone else has to fill in the gaps. I just think the only thing that gives me hope in humanity and the adult world is that some have humility and can laugh through the pain a little. Not everyone has this, but these are the people I feel like I am the closest to now.

I’m not saying everyone has to have a dark past to survive, or act like an unfortunate ex-child star that has gone awry, but I think we can persist in the safety-net-less adult world by accepting we are all still living in our awkward imperfections. I think it is absolutely true everyone knows something you do not and why not celebrate this fact? It is a rhetorical question of sorts, but one I often forget.

However, I am sometimes a hypocrite in writing this because like most I can be very selfish. But if one explains a dumb meme to me or explains how his or her parents went through a divorce, there is a sense of vulnerability within the context that makes the world feel a little less scary to me. I remember I am not alone.

The world is terrifying. We have massacres nearly every day and bees are dying. People are absolutely closed minded, and yet as Sarah Silverman recently pointed out in her show I Love You America, everyone has a story about shitting him or herself.

I guess my long explanation about my current feelings towards adulthood can be summed up in these few words: life is shit, but maybe if we remember that everyone feels this way the world feels a little less catastrophic. I do not want to over share with everyone (ironic as I feel I am doing this now, along with the fact “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette just came on my playlist), but I want to be mindful that everyone has misfortune, good jokes, and possibly a kick-ass chocolate chip recipe. You may think, “Hey Lo, isn’t this too hopeful?” Of course. Absolutely. There are so many days I would rather lick the inside of a city bus than dealing with adulthood. But if I am not aware that everyone is inherently a little crazy, I will actually go crazy, and not the good kind.

Again, what do I know? I’m 23 now. I have so much time to fuck up and learn how to not only cook frozen Trader Joe’s food. But the luck I’ve had this past year has also kept me going. I honestly question how I have survived and I think it’s partly because of my luck. I have incredible support from an all-female improv troupe, met people that have worked on Jungle Book, and a safe apartment that I can afford on my own. I am incredibly lucky. And although I know this, I occasionally wonder how I keep going. It’d be much easier to give up and find an alternative route. But I feel I have this duty to keep going so I can pass along these opportunities others. Perhaps that is selfish in a way, but it’s how I feel lately. I can and will listen to people’s stories. I want my own crazy to help other’s “crazy.” And maybe, after all this, that’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned at 22.

Life is wild so let’s laugh with the crazy of it all. Maybe we can grab a coffee and chat about it some time.

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The best walk I had with my Nana was when I was 16. My Nana was older then, but still made sure to take her “waddles” to the beach. She lived in the Peninsula, about two blocks away from the beach. She wore her giant sunhat and I wore my sunglasses.

When we reached the sand I remembered that I forgot the sunscreen. Upon telling her this realization she stood there, tossed her long silver hair behind her back, and stated in her thick New York accent, “You’re Italian. You’ll last an hour.” She kept walking and laughed. I was shocked, giggled, and ran up to her. We talked about our favorite pop culture gossip and walked to the pier. The sun glistened on the water. You could see Catalina that day.

Feeling sleepy from the sun I made my way back to Nana’s circular, tiny home. I was not sunburnt, nor felt sunburnt. My Nana gave me a diet cream soda and Trader Joe’s sugar free chocolate mints. We sat on the steps leading up to the front door and stared at the ducks on the bay. And for once in that very small moment I remembered I did not have to worry about the sun. And maybe just for once it was okay to.