#for years I've yearned for people from the screens in other countries and always wanted to be elsewhere and it gets hard

[visdiefje]

It's so wild and refreshing to me to want to be HERE. In my country. In my general area. Where I am

[maybe-your-left]

since ur back and I've been feeling kinda weird.. how about college ky or ben long distance seeing us after sum time

I'm sorry you've been feeling weird anon, we all go through stuff like that but I want you to know that I am here to listen and help you through anything.

It's a weird time of the year, and it can put people into a funk, or maybe your funk has been there for a while? but thats okay! you're amazing-wonderful-beautiful-smart-special to me, and everyone who frequents my blog.

I hope this satisfies you in some measure.

"I miss you," Bens voice comes through muffled, his face half pushed into a pillow case on the edge of his screen.

You sighed into your own, wishing it was his strong chest. Pinned to his front while you listened to his heartbeat slow down until he fell asleep. It wasn't even 24 hours since you left and yet your heart yearned to be closer...

Shrugging, you pulled your blankets up around your face. Leaning into your pillow, just a little out of the frame. Ben gave you a sleepy smile, he already looked miserable.

Eyes growing black from his lack of sleep, like the ridiculous psycho he was, he couldn't relax without your firm hand. But, it was another six months apart...

"I miss you too," you whisper, barely inaudible but his raised brows let you know that he heard.

"I wish you would've stayed..."

You smirked a little, "Well, you didn't do the sappy airport move, where you're supposed to storm past the security and beg me to stay?"

Ben chuckled, running a weary hand over his face. "Like that would work," he looked off in the distance, mood souring, "You wouldn't even if I chased you on a plane."

Now it was your turn to look off, not wanting to stoke the embers of an old argument long fought over screens. Leaving you both angry and in shambles, it was hard enough being mad at each other, but there was no reconciliation in person, just stale apologies when the other finally caves and answers their phone.

It was never like this when you went to school with him, living in his apartment. Spending every moment you weren't in class in his arms, being held like you were a doll. Getting soft kisses littering from your temple down to your collarbone, nosing his way under the hem of your shirt.

"Sorry," he mumbles out, the sound of him settling under his dark blue covers rustling against the speakers of his laptop. "I know you're doing important shit, it's just dumb that you can't do it here... just feels like you're trying to stay away from me."

You rolled your eyes, biting your tongue at a snappy rebuttal. Settling on a more soothing route, "I'm just trying to do the best I can."

"I know, you're helping a lot of people and I should be proud of you."

He took a deep breath, "I just wish you'd take care of me."

"Ben," you whined, eyes growing tired of staring at his reflection from the camera. If he was going to be moody and shitty, you would just disconnect, you didn't need another guilt trip from him. He knew how much it meant to you to be where you were. Helping others, getting the best education you could, nothing along the lines of what his university could offer.

"I only have one semester left," you fiddled with the tie on your hoodie, listening to him shift on his end once more.

"Yeah, but you still don't know if you're going to come back here."

"You could always come here," you blurted out, regretting feeding into his self-loathing. He side-eyed you, mumbling about hating that part of the country. Even though he only visited once in a blue moon, claiming it wasn't as amazing as New York.

New York had everything in his eyes.

He rubbed the back of his neck, stretching off-screen before yawning loudly, "I have to get up early, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

--------

Two weeks had gone by without a word from Ben, dragging your feet from school to your lonely apartment. Slowing putting away all your mementos of him, staring at the Skype status showing he was unavailable.

Looking at the blank screen that stared back at you.

Streaked with tears that you'd shed, wanting to march on a plane and storm to his house. Yank him by the ear like his mother did when he was in trouble, shout and scream at him for being an asshole. Not prioritizing your wants and needs, selfish enough to think the world revolved around him.

It was unfair.

You sat at the table of your study group, quietly nibbling on a bagel that had long gone stale. Barely whispering out answers to the study guide, there was a big exam coming up that would determine if you got internships or not.

But you couldn't stomach it, much like the everything bagel you were chewing.

A large packet slammed down across from you, your group leader looking irritated as usual. She spat out your name, "Are you going to contribute today? Or just be a bummer again?"

Everyone looked away from you, probably agreeing with her bold statement. Ben didn't want you, now they didn't, what next? Were you going to be dropped from your program?

The universe was already taking heavy hits against you, so you wouldn't be shocked.

"Oh my god," one of your group mates gasped, looking off in the distance, "Look at that guy."

Heads turned while you stayed forward, staring at a single crumb from one of their cookies that spilled on the table. Listening to them gawk, "He's so hot", "Is he knew, I would've remembered him", "He's big, is he on the football team?", "Why is he walking up to every table?", "Shit-here he comes!"

The girls all straightened up, plastering on their fake smiles for the unlucky guy who was about to be hooked, lined, and sunk into their webs of fakeness...

"Are you guys in the biology department?" a deep voice blurted out frantically, your heart skipped a beat. Souring high before plummeting, it sounded like your Ben. When he was frantic and wanting something, like when he was desperate to find a certain hot-dog cart that used to be at time square.

He needed one of those hot dogs again.

Your leader cleared her throat, throwing her glossy hair over her shoulder dramatically before her voice squeaked out at an unnatural octave, "Yeah, we are. I'm the colleges' president of the student body."

"Oh," he sighed, "Sick-okay, I'm looking for someone who's in the program."

The man began spouting out generic facts about his mystery person, judging by his voice, he was working hard to find them. But didn't seem to know their name, as he dodged it a few times. His voice seemed distant, staring over your leader's head a few times to catch glimpses of anyone who walked in.

You grew tired of his adjectives, pulling your notebooks and spare pencils into your backpack, no one noticed anyway. They were all eating out of this dude's hand, listening to his ramblings, once again you were reminded of Ben. He sounded unhinged, like when he was 99% sure Hux his roommate had stolen his Oreos.

"Well," the president smoothed over, "I can help you look around, I'm sure they are somewhere. And if not..." you could hear her breath hitch as she laced her words with honey, "I could show you around to the secret spots of our campus?"

You stood up swiftly, not wanting to stomach any more of this scene. Briefly looking through your hair at the man, mouth moving before your brain.

"Ben?"

His head snapped towards you, black hair longer than you remembered, swiping across his forehead in a greasy mess. Mouth dropped open as he focused on you, his voice caught in his throat as he spoke your name.

Launching forward past the other people still seated. Ben picked you up in his arms, shaking as he held you against his chest. Your body awkwardly lifted over his shoulder. Patting his back while you stayed shocked, there was no way?

You were confused, sad, happy, and fucking angry?

Ben spun around with you, setting you back on the ground, bracing his hands on your forearms. Your heart clenched at the sight of his tear-streaked cheeks.

Letting out a soft and warbled sentence.

"I missed you."

--------

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[impala1967dwinchester]

Dean Winchester: Brandy

*Credit to the gif owner*

Pairing: Dean W. x Fem!Reader

Pov: Deans

Warnings: Drinking, drunk texting, bad dancing, having to rescue Dean, Friends to loversish, Believing in destiny kinda.

Summary: Dean spends the whole night at the bar, tryin' every bottled drink. Ends up drunk texting Y/n and being completely honest with her

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: (Based on the song Wine, Beers, Whiskey by Little Big Town)

Dean Winchester Master List

Main Master List

I sat at the bar of the old bar. It reminded me of Harvelle's. The old smell, the plaid-up men and women that I noticed came walking in through that door.

It was amazing. I was a drinker, always had been. The first drink I had with my dad, I was fifteen. A beer we shared, that should be an amazing moment for father and son, but it was ruined for the simple fact that we had no home, and my father and instructed me to take care of my younger brother.

I grew up, mostly without my father after that. He prioritizes hunting and saving people over me, and over his youngest son. Everything was always secrets. So many secrets, that it's started to become how Sam and I live.

There were certain things that I had learned from my father. How to protect, how to be anger almost all of the time, and how to handle my liquor.

So I sat at the bar, my hand around an iced cold glass of beer. I sipped and watched people. I wasn't in the mood to hook up with any. I mean yeah sure there was probably someone out there that was meant for me, but that's getting into destiny shit.

You know how bars, almost always have music playing. Well being in the good old state of Kansas, so pretty much any place you walk into is playing music more specifically country music.

It started to come through the speakers. I had already been here for what seemed like hours, I had enough beers, that I had switched to drinking something harder.

Something like a whiskey.

"My friend named Jack"

"He's got my back"

"He always seems to know right where I'm at"

Well, this is definitely a song I could get used to listening to. I don't think anybody else was listening. All having their own private conversations. The barmaid was a beautiful young lady, but even still with her crop top of a shirt and the cleavage that was burst out of her shirt.

I wasn't interested in her. Every time she'd come over. "You need anything else sweetheart." Bending halfway down to try and have me look down.

I waved her off. Maybe I should try something else. Waving her back over, I asked "Do you have something stronger?" she looked at me sideways, before saying "If it's something stronger than you want I've got you" and then she walked away.

When she returned with the rest of the bottle of Jose. A half left standing in the clear bottle. "Here's something stronger, forty percent." She said taking my empty beer bottle and empty cup that had been holding the recently downed Jack Daniels.

"My friend Jose"

"He likes to play"

"He's always up for anything I say"

I downed the rest of the bottle, not even needing the new glass she had bought for me to use. Slamming the bottle down on the countertop. She snapped her head around, our eye making contact before she grabbed something off the shelf.

"If that's the type of night you're having you should have said." She said handing me a half empty glass of crown apple. "Thanks, I can handle my liquor so no need to worry about me," I said as she left to take care of other people sitting at the bar.

I sat alone. Like I always have, it was the best way to number one people watch, but it also gave me a reason to think. Nobody trying to pull my belt out of my jean loops. No need to save someone this was my safe haven sometimes.

Alcohol was my safe haven. It's always been that way. It's always been able to understand me ten times more than Sammy. Well I mean there was always Y/n, she lived with us, but she was my friend, my best friends. There is something that she just doesn't need to know.

I took a swig, drinking down most of the bottle.

"Little bit of red, lotta bit of crown"

"Don't matter what it is"

"I'm gonna drink it down, down, down"

Was it just me or was this song getting better by the second. Maybe, It was just me. I looked around me, couples stood dancing to this song, some sat with clasped hands. And the older men sat at the bar, I was an older man sitting at bar watching like a creep.

"The wine, the beer, the whiskey"

"Are the only things that fix me"

"I'm not saying it's a problem"

"I can stop it if I wanna"

"But the wine, the beer, the whiskey"

"They always get me"

Wow, I'm started to get the idea that I can relate to this song. The lyrics are right you know. Liquor is the only thing that can fix me, calms me down and then I sleep it off. It's right the lyrics I can stop if I wanna. But do I really wanna stop?

"Here," The young lady said, handing me a made drink "Here's a gin and tonic." Walking away yet again to take care of other patrons. A gin and tonic, not a drink I was every ballses enough to try.

Taking the little green umbrella out, I took my first sip. "Shit that's actually really good," I said more to myself than anyone else. I looked up from my gin and tonic drink, looking at the glass wall.

It held so many drinks that I hadn't heard of before. Like a new drink called "Screwball", "Kingfisher". Odd brand names but they all looked like awesome drinks. But of course, there was the regular drinks, the brandy, sherry which is a wine, and Jim Beam

"My friend named Gin"

"She's got some friends"

"I'm talking Brandy, Sherry, and their brother Jim"

"Hey, so it sorta looks like we're going along with the song, so I'll grab you a shot of rum, Captain." She said pulling a tiny shot glass out and pulling the bottle off of the shelf.

She slides the small glass across the table, I caught some rum tipping out and falling over my thumb. 'I wonder what Y/n would do if she was here with me? I wonder if I would have her pushed up against the wall, kissing down her neck.'

Shaking my head; stop thinking of her that she... She doesn't think of you in the same way, you are an idiot. Taking my rum-filled shot quickly. I pulled out my phone.

'Don't do what you're about to do'

"I'll be fine," I said to myself. The room was starting to spin. Or maybe I was just spinning. 'Stop thinking about Y/n. She doesn't need to deal with your drunk ass' "Oh come on I'm not that drunk" I was still sitting at the bar, but people were starting to look at me.

>Y/n, you know I've just gotta say. YOu're beautiful.

Dots played at the bottom of my screen.

>Dean that's very nice.

Minutes pass, so I send another message.

>You know I think I'm falling.

Immediate answers came

>Falling?? What do you mean?

>Winchester? Where are you?

She asked, she only ever called me Winchester when she was pissed off, but I was too worried about telling her the truth.

>Y/n, I've spent the past forever fawning over you. I spent it, wanting, yearning for you. I guess after years of wanting you, years after having nobody in my bed. Wishing and hoping that it was you.

>Dean send me your current loca!

>We can talk more tomorrow

I was able to send her my location, she pulled up in a rather crappy car. Walking in distress, her black night shorts, a pair of slippers on, and my red and black plaid shirt on.

She came over, apologizing grabbing my arm, and wrapping it over her head. "Dean, let's go, now," she said dragging me out. "You smell so good Y/n," I said going to pet her hair. She rested me up against the side of the baby.

"Where are your keys, Dean?" She asked her voice starting to become more worrisome. "In my.." I stopped talking and just reached for her hand, shoving it into my jacket pocket. "Right here!" I said I let go of her wrist and she looked up at me.

She got me into the car, somehow. I rested my head against the back of the front seat. "I felt and heard the rumble of baby engine. "Dean, what were you doing?" I looked over at her. "I wanted a drink."

The rest of the drive was quiet, she helped me out of the car after shutting the loud engine off. The sound finally stops bouncing off the cinderblock walls. "Dean. Couch, bed, or table?" She asked.

"Couch, comfier," I said breathing in more of Y/n's scent. I've never been this close to her, for this long. she smelled like a garden of flowers and honey. she smelt of summer. She looked like summer half the time.

"Are you a god?" I blurted out. Her eyebrows creased, licking her lips. "No, Dean I'm not a god," Y/n said reaching around behind the couch and grabbing a blanket but not before untying my boots.

She tossed the blanket over my body and went to walk off. "Y/n?" I asked. "Yes, Dean." She said with a sigh. "Can you get me a water, so I can maybe explain myself?" I asked.

A pleading look on my face, the puppy dog eyes I had learned from Sam. "Fine Winchester, but you've five to explain yourself." She said stomping off into the kitchen, and back with a tall glass of ice water.

She stood next to me. "Can you sit? Please Y/n?" I begged. I sipped on the water, trying to regain any sort of control of myself. She sat crisscrossing her legs. Her exposed legs, my eyes drifted from her legs.

My eyes came back up to hers. "Start explaining Winchester, you've got four minutes." I shook my head, clasping my hands together. I cleared my throat.

"I've sat here for the past few years, wondering why everything seems weird. It's hard. y'know because that song was right in the bar. I don't want to be alone not anymore, I don't wanna watch the couple dances anymore, I wanna be one of the couples, that hold each other hands."

I said, looking at her. She broke our eye contact when she started to fidget with the bottom of my flannel. "You know that's my flannel?" I asked grabbing her hands.

"I want you, I want you in my bed. I want to drink with my girl. I want to love you because Y/n that's really the truth." I said, "I love you Y/n" We sat in silence for a few, "Y/n please say something?" Now I'm begging her, this entire night has been a fucking mess.

"What are you waiting for you dumb Winchester? Come kiss your girl." It only took a few moments for the words to click in my mind. I grabbed the back of her neck and she fell into my lap.

It wasn't like fireworks or lighting coming down. It just fit so well, it was more like finishing a puzzle, puzzle pieces just fitting together so well. A missing part of me found filled and always there for you.

"Dean? Y/n?" I heard Sam said and properly say "Nevermind." And leave. I felt Y/n's lips leave mine. Realizing that I needed air, my lungs burning but in a good way.

"That was something," I said, catching my breath. "That's was awesome!" Y/n said kissing chastely. "Did you hear Sam?" I asked her, she giggled she rolled her. "I bet he's in there going I just knew it," Y/n said. I laughed and hugged.

"My feet hurt, I think I may have blacked out and started dancing by myself," I said, flexing my socked toes. "You dancing!?" Y/n questioned, "Oh we've gotta go back to that bar and get that tape, for FBI reasons." Y/n said.

My mouth gaping open. She laughed more, and she started to have a few tears. "You know Y/n. I'll you back for that, now come on. You'll love the memory foam bed." I said, Whispering closing to Y/n's ear "It remembers you Y/n." My hand landing on her lower as we walked to my room.

Completed on: 05/12/2021

Posted on: 05/14/2021

Dean Winchester Tag List: @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @hit-meup69 @fofisstilinski @doctorlilo @wonderfulworldofwinchester

[yayitsjay]

Luhan was not the ordinary guy he wished he could be. He could be a ferocious fighter, he was lonely and inexperienced in living a real life, and he's never felt the love he yearned for. He's tired of running, but if he wants to survive, he'll have to continue to do so. That is until he meets him--

Sehun.

Sehun didn't have parents, they abandoned him when he was but a boy and doesn't remember much about them but he's never felt the void they left. He had his friends. His real family. He's felt all the love they could offer him and never thought things could change, but he always hid something. Afraid others would hate or fear him. Little did he know that a certain boy was destined to barge into his life and change things.

"Who are you?" Sehun asked as he eyed the beautiful boy before him.

"Um, I-I'm Luhan." replied Luhan nervously, not knowing what to do when he was suddenly caught.

"I'm Sehun," said the taller boy when he noticed the other had begun blushing and fidgeting.

What's wrong with me!?! Come on Luhan, get yourself together. I lost them at least, good thing too, I was beginning to get tired and would've stopped running soon if I had kept going. But... What do I do now?

Sehun had noticed that the boy had calmed down a bit and seemed ready to leave but he didn't feel like parting ways with Luhan, but he knew he had to speak up.

"W-would you like to hang out with us? I-I mean you don't have to if you don't want to, but u-um..."

Stupid! Why are you stuttering!?! Why even ask? This cuti- I mean guy probably has somewhere else he has to be and he wouldn't like someone like m-

"Sure"

Sehun, hmm... he' seems really nice. I haven't smiled this much since, since... I don't remember.

Luhan, his smile is really cute and his deer eyes seemed cold just a few seconds ago and now they have such a beautiful shine. He's different, but what's that feeling I got earlier? Is he like me?

Nichkhun just couldn't help it, not loving Wooyoung seemed impossible to him. Even when he watched his relationship progress with his new wife, he'd think how incredibly kind of a person Wooyoung was. But the pain he'd begun to feel was unpleasant. He knew he wouldn't be able to live without him in his life but he also knew he couldn’t have the other. All he knows is that he loves the boy with his all.

"Damn, that boy is whipped!" exclaimed Taecyeon as Wooyoung's first episode of WGM was ending on the screen with nothing left but the credits to finish.

"..." Nichkhun could say nothing but fiddle with his fingers, replaying all that had happened these past few weeks over in his head.

"Shut up Taec, it's only the first episode it's not like you can have feelings for someone so quickly" replied Junho as he continued playing with Chansung's fingers while sitting between his legs on the couch.

"Well you never know baby, you and I were the same," said Chansung, holding the other tighter.

"Bleh, whatever. But seriously, I've never seen Woo act like that before. He looked like a schoolgirl confessing to her crush."

Jun.K stayed quiet, eyeing Nichkhun from across the room on the other couch. He's known of the boy's feeling for the younger and couldn't help but pity the boy. Wooyoung had been out, filming for the next episode so he was glad that Nichkhun could be away from the other to sort things out on his own. Wooyoung had always been oblivious to the other's feelings and never gave a second thought when his hyung would display so much skin ship and affection towards him. Jun.K had approached Nichkhun when he noticed something between him and the other seemed different and when Nichkhun confessed to him his feelings for Wooyoung, they became closer. He hoped Nichkhun could cope with it.

"I don't know, maybe you're right." Junho admitted. The discussion on Wooyoung's feelings continued.

Nichkhun took his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number he hadn't in a while waiting for the other end to pick up the call. He stood up to leave, walking to his room when the other answered.

"Hi Nichkhun"

"Hey Victoria"

All heads turned in his direction, shock evident in their faces, silence enveloping the room. He shut the door and held the conversation he had hoped he could overcome with her help, laying on his bed placing his forearm over his eyes while tears began to escape his eyes.

What if Baekhyun dating Taeyeon was a lie?

What if it was nothing but a fling gone wrong, something meant only to satisfy their needs and never to be discovered?

What if there was someone in the background watching everything that went on, having their heart crushed, only seeing moving on as their sole option?

Well, concealing your feeling is never easy but when Chanyeol sees an opportunity to finally repair his aching heart and move on, will his feelings get in the way?

After an attitude change, scandalous encounters, and a withering friendship, will Baek finally realizes what's been going on?

Will he be too late to fix anything?

"I can't keep living like this, it's not the same anymore! I can't- I can't do this anymore..."

-Park Chanyeol

"There's nothing between us! You know this! What does that even matter? Why are you being like this?"

-Byun Baekhyun

"It meant more than you think it did."

-Kim Taeyeon

Kyungsoo has been living in America since he was six years old and has been happily dating his gorgeous and sappy younger by a year boyfriend, Jongin, since his second year of middle school. He has everything he could want and is content with how his future is coming along.

His family accepts the relationship between the two boys and are happy with the fact that the other seems to care for their son with all his being.

Having just celebrated their fourth year dating, Kyungsoo couldn't be more heartbroken when his mom has a job transfer back to Korea and his whole family will have to move back to their home country along with her.

Kyungsoo was really getting fed up with people not believing him by now. Why would he lie?

What the hell?!

"But he is real!" continued the short boy, continuously trying to convince his classmates.

"Sure, sure Soo. You're just too cute y'know. We won't make fun of you or anything, it’s okay" said Yixing, one of his fellow peers who along with the rest of his group of friends would deny the younger's claim about having a boyfriend back in the States.

"B-But I'm not making him up. We just have a long distance relationship for now." countered the shorter, become annoyed yet sensitive with them thinking that he'd lie about the boy he loved.

They'd come to believe that he was the shy and innocent type.

Little did they know that he really did have a boyfriend. A gorgeous one back in the states who at that very moment, was thinking up a very big surprise for his little doe-eyed boyfriend.