#fragmentation bts

[ctrlsht]

Fragment of the Past 01

pairing: patient!jungkook x psychiatrist!reader genre: thriller & yandere au

summary: You are a well-known and respected psychiatrist and author. You start treating Jungkook, who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident. As you help him confront his traumatic past, he begins to act strangely, and you start uncovering something about him that will change everything.

chapter summary: As you get to know your patient, Jeon Jungkook, you begin to notice that something is wrong with him, until the day he confesses to you what really happened during the night of the incident.

chapter warnings: mention of PTSD and depression, mention of hatred towards the family, mention of murder. This chapter is the only chapter that isn’t too heavy. word count: 8K

note: This fiction will contain multiple mental disorders and psychology facts. I conducted my own research to avoid spreading misinformation, but there may be aspects I've overlooked, so I am open for any corrections.

"Dr. Y/N, your next patient is already waiting outside. Shall I invite him in?" Soyeon asked while holding the doorknob, your office door slightly ajar. You leaned back in your swivel chair, glancing at the clock hanging beside the door. Soyeon stood patiently, awaiting your response.

“It’s still 2:30 and my next session is 3 o’clock. He arrived early?” 

“Yes, he did. In fact, he already arrived at 2. Although he mentioned not informing you since it’s still early.” 

You looked at the clock once again and contemplated your decision. You still have 30 minutes before the new session starts but you’re not going to do anything, anyway. Just like your next patient, you’re just waiting for the clock to strike at 3. 

“Let him in. We’ll just start early.”

After a few moments, the door opened once again and a tall muscular man entered the room. His movements are slow like he has all the time in the world and when he faced you, his eyes sparkled, and he offered a subdued smile without revealing his teeth. He removed his black ball cap and extended his hand, presenting you with a box of cake.

“Good afternoon, doc. I’m sorry I’m too early from the original schedule but I got you a strawberry cake. Heard that you love them.” He said.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. Thank you and it’s nice to see that you’re in a good mood, Jungkook.” You smiled and reached the box of cake that he gave you. He smiled even wider as he removed his leather jacket and you immediately saw his full sleeve tattoo on his right arm. They were beautiful. It perfectly suits him. 

“Thanks, doc. I’m happy that I didn’t dream about ‘that’ nightmare and I believe it’s because of the medicine that you prescribe me. You help me a lot.” He responds, sitting on the white sofa facing your desk.

When he is settled down on the couch in front of your office table, you press the ‘record’ button of your phone. You record your session with your patient for your advantage. It helps you review and recall  the discussion that you had with them, and it’s useful whenever you’re writing a book. Having the recordings allows you to convey your words more precisely.

Of course, you always ask for their consent to record the conversation. However, there are patients who do not agree with it, and in such cases, you still record them. They wouldn't know, would they?

“Well, that’s good to know.” You said and got the folder placed on the side of your table and opened it. It’s the record of him for you to easily navigate his diagnoses. “Are you still visiting the gym like I’ve recommended to you?” 

“Yes I do and it helps me to distract my mind to what happened. Going back to the gym helps me a lot, honestly. It’s hard to push myself to go back at first but as I was in there, it became easier.” His smile is like a pill that can light anyone’s mood. It is so bright and contagious. No one will guess that he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. He witnessed how his mother died in front of him exactly six months ago and he suffers a lot. He’s unable to talk for weeks after the incident happened and was advised to attend psychotherapy. 

Right now, he has made significant progress, and you're glad about it. Throughout your sessions with him, you've observed how he copes with his trauma and understands what's going on in his mind. It's a major trauma for him to witness what happened to his mother. According to studies, women are more likely to develop PTSD than men, and you've handled multiple cases with women experiencing PTSD. However, in your years in this career, he is the only man you've treated with this specific diagnosis. It's a new experience for you, especially since it's your first encounter with a male patient with this condition. You've conducted extensive research, but there are still things your patient does that contradict what you've read.

“During the weekends, I spend all night reading your book, Dr. Y/N and it helps me so much. Plus, it’s good and I love it. I can’t wait for you to release the book that you’re writing right now. When did you plan on releasing them?” He crosses his legs as he looks at you with so much adoration. 

“I haven’t finished writing it so I haven’t planned the date of release.” you replied, turning your attention back to the folder in your hand. “I’m glad that my books help you. Do you think that you’ve already overcome your trauma with the event that happened?” You looked at him and the smile that he had seconds ago was gone. His lips were formed into a straight line and he stared at you. It only happens for seconds and he immediately brings his bright expression once again.

“I’m not quite sure about that, Dr. Y/N. I may be happy right now, but later on, I’ll remember the tragic event once again.” He responded. 

“It’s okay. It really happens. Healing from your trauma doesn’t happen in a short period of time. But eventually, you’ll be okay. It may not be right now nor tomorrow but one day,” you assured him.

“Will you leave me after I completely heal, Doc?” he leaned forward, his gaze intense.  You didn’t respond right away and waited if he’s about to add more with his statement but turns out, he’s also waiting for your response.

“Well, that’s quite the opposite, Jungkook. You’ll be the one to leave me after our final session comes to an end.” You tried to smile. “And as your doctor, I genuinely want you to heal and move on to continue living with your life.” 

“Then I’m not quite sure if I’ll be happy for our final session to come to an end.”

You achieved success as a psychiatrist and book author within just four years of your career. Your excellence in your work is a result of the praises you've received from people. You've built a strong reputation and you're determined to maintain it. While you may be at the top now, you know there's still a long road ahead. You're committed to continuing to excel in what you do and to break numerous records.. 

The day has finally ended and you are still inside your office room as you continue on writing your ongoing book. The paradox of choice. You’ve released three books and this is going to be your fourth one. You’ve been pouring your blood, sweat and tears in every book that you’ve released resulting in its success and you’re confident that this ongoing book will be the same. 

You have nothing else to do except to work 24/7. You’ve been doing this for the past four years already and you have no problem with it. In fact, you love everything you do. But there are people who’s against your life cycle. 

As you type on your laptop, your phone chimes, seeing a notification from your friend, Taehyung. He's been your friend since you were in diapers.

Taehyung: You’re not at home. Where are you?

You: Clinic. Why?

Taehyung: what the. At this hour?

You didn’t respond because you figured out that he doesn’t have anything to do but to disturb you and honestly, you don’t have the time for that. 

Taehyung: Join me for dinner. It’s on me.

You: Can’t you eat by yourself and you have to treat me just for you to have dinner?

Taehyung: You talked as if we’re not friends. Come on, Y/N. I know you love your job but don’t wait until you are the one who becomes a patient.

Taehyung doesn’t understand you. You’re doing what you love and you don’t have a problem with it yet he thought that you were drowning yourself with work. You can choose what you want and you choose to burn yourself from work. You don’t have any problems with it. 

You decide to fix your things and get ready for Taehyung to pick you up. As much as you love your career, you also cherish your friendship with him. He's your only friend, and you don't want to lose him. You've come to consider him as family.

“My father is asking me again if I can now run the business in New York." Taehyung said as he got the pork belly from the grill and placed it in his bowl of rice before he put it together in his mouth. 

“Tell him you haven't decided." You respond subconsciously while wrapping the pork in the lettuce and eat it. 

“What amazing advice coming from a therapist herself.” Taehyung smirked.

"What is your decision then?"

"I don't really know, Y/N." He released a deep breath and continued. "I do want to manage it but I can't. I love what I'm doing right now."

Since his teenage years, Taehyung has been destined to inherit his father's assets, including the family company. However, Taehyung chose a different path and became a successful musician and artist. He's content with his career until his father reminds him of his obligation to take over the family's oil company in New York. He has been wrestling with this difficult situation for years and has yet to find a solution.

“Try to do both.” You suggest while having a mouthful of pork belly. 

“I don’t know if you’re fucking with me or what but damn, Y/N. If you’re my therapist, I’ll immediately leave your clinic and find another one.” Taehyung rolled his eyes and you tried not to laugh. "I can't choose both and you know that!" 

You do want to help your friend to get out of this situation but the only thing you can do is give emotional and moral support because you don't have control over his family. You do feel sorry for him but you can't do much. 

"The conflict between personal desires and altruistic choices has been common in dealing with ethical dilemmas. Choosing a decision between what you want and what your father wants that will be beneficial for the majority is quite a difficult situation and you need to weigh them according to how you see it. Your father has been there for you and in return, he wants you to handle his business not only for the benefit of him but also for you." You pause and take a bite of kimchi before you continue. "But you wanted to keep pursuing the career you have right now. It's a personal gain. It's up to you if you become selfish or selfless." 

Many researchers have presented real-life ethical dilemmas and case studies to understand how people navigate decisions that involve personal desires and the welfare of others. These studies often highlight the complexity and context-dependency of such choices which is what Taehyung is experiencing right now. 

If you were to decide with his situation, you'd choose to continue with his career that he has right now. Life is too short to become selfless. What society makes people believe can result in each and everyone's failure. 

If he chooses to do what his father wants, it won't guarantee success, as he has no clue about running their business. And even if he manages to muster the passion to understand how it works, he might not only fail himself but also disappoint his father.

You ended the night with Taehyung bringing you back to the clinic to get your car. It was nice catching up with him once in a while and hopefully, it won't happen often. Taehyung has known you since forever and he knows that even if you love him, you will still choose your work over him. 

You were about to open the door of the driver seat of your car when you felt something. Or more of someone. 

You don't hear any noise coming from afar or nearby and you're certain that you're the only one who is at the parking lot in front of the clinic but you feel like there is a pair of eyes that's watching you. You're facing the two-story building of the clinic and catch sight of anyone but the only thing you see is a light coming from the entrance and nothing else. 

You slowly turn around to see the surroundings and the only thing you see is a quiet night street illustrated by a few streetlights. There is no one, yet you can still feel that pair of eyes looking at you. 

You weren't sure if it's because of overworking or the alcohol you've consumed tonight but you're certain that one of it is the reason why you are having this kind of imagination. 

—

“Good morning, Yunjin. You look pale today. What’s wrong?” You looked at your patient that’s seated across the sofa in front of you. Her lips were paper thin and she continuously blinked her eyes. Yunjin is a 25-year old diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder and she's been your patient for a year already. Being diagnosed with depression can cause a lot of factors including imbalances in brain chemicals like serotonin and norepinephrine. These imbalances can occur in anyone, regardless of their external circumstances. In Yunjin’s situation, it’s caused by her genes and hormones and most likely, she inherited from her family.

Yunjin came from a well known family and her life is what every person dreams to have. She already has everything yet she still suffers with depression. 

Not because a person has a wealthy and happy life doesn’t mean they do not encounter problems. 

“It’s happening again. I’ve lost track of my motivation to continue painting.” She speaks hoarsely. “Last week, I’m pouring all my hardwork and energy into what I’m working on but now, I’ve messed up. And I don’t even know why I am doing this because my work is mediocre in the first place.”

“You know that’s not true, Yunjin. Your paintings are amazing. I love them so much, especially the one you gave me.” You said carefully.

“No, you don’t understand. My works are trash compared to others.” Her voice is already trembling—on the verge of crying.

“Everyone has a unique and creative way to express their works. Not because you think that the works of others are more creative means yours are not. Your paintings are a masterpiece, Yunjin and I won’t get tired of reminding you about that.”

Yunjin is one of your patients who is incredibly transparent. She is consistently honest and open about her feelings, and you have played a significant role in nurturing this honesty.  Over your years of being a psychotherapist, you’ve encountered thousands of patients with different problems and diagnosis. You’ve known the ins and outs of them and you’ve mastered the meaning of every action they’ve made and words they’ve said. You also know if they’re telling the truth or not and you can spot it within a single session. 

That’s what you’re known—for being an excellent psychiatrist. 

However, you’re not yet perfect and still working with your skills. You know that you’re already great but there is still room for improvement. 

Not because you’re confident with how you read your patients means that it’s the truth. Sometimes, they deceive you and that’s a case that you have to improve with yourself.

It’s almost five and a few moments from now, you’ll have your last patient for the day. The truth is, you’re already exhausted with all the work you did today and given that it’s friday. Tomorrow, it’s a rest day, therefore, things should be done until today if you want to enjoy the weekend. But in your case, you’ll most probably work with the book you’re currently writing. 

Jeon Jungkook is your last patient for the day and hopefully, after the session, both of you will feel relief. 

“Hello, Dr. Y/N. You look so tired. Are you okay?” Jungkook asked you as he removed his bomber jacket revealing his full sleeve tattoo. He has a taste in fashion and it suits him so well. With his tall and muscular body, he can wear anything and still look stunning. Beside his body build, Jungkook is handsome. With his beautiful doe eyes and perfect smile, he can captivate anyone. And it’s something that you should be cautious about. 

“I’m fine, Jungkook. You don’t have to worry about me.” You slightly smile and insist him to sit on the sofa. “Please take a seat. How are you?” You try to energize your voice to hide your exhaustion. 

"Today was supposed to be great until one of my employees messed around at work. His name is Bryan, and ever since he got hired, he's been getting on my nerves. If it weren't for the fact that he's my uncle's son, I would have fired him right from the beginning," he began, settling into his seat.

“What happened?”

“He lost the memory card of the camera I used from the photoshoot yesterday and now, we had to redo the shoot.” His eyebrows scrunch as he tightens his lips. 

“Your feelings are valid, Jungkook. It’s okay to feel that way. What you can do to control your emotions when you’re in that situation is to leave and take a break where you can breathe.”

“You’re right. But now, I feel okay. Relief even. I just fired him from being incompetent. Someone like him doesn’t belong in my studio, anyway.”

You take a pause to look at him. He looks at you with a blank stare and when he does that, he’s unbothered or doesn’t care. You admit that he’s not easy to read but you’ve learned to master his gesture and there is something about him that feels off. 

“Can you tell me why his action results in you firing him?”

“Because he’s useless and I don’t need useless people in my team.” He responds like the answer is already obvious.

“Don’t you think that he can improve?” His gaze intensifies and after a moment, he smirks.

“My studio is not a training ground, Dr. Y/N. It’s a place where you should already master what you’re doing.” His fingers move in his lips to play with it, eyes still bore at you.

“I’ve established my business from the scratch and I’ve poured my blood sweat and tears just for my business to be in where it is now. Perhaps, I have the right to do anything that's better for my studio. I know what my worth is. Don’t you think, Dr. Y/N?” 

He’s full of himself. But you didn’t say that.

“Well, you have a point, Jungkook. But you’re the one who said it. Your studio is made from scratch and perhaps, you know what being in your lowest point feels like.” You try to smile genuinely. “It’s okay to know your worth and at the same time, look back where you came from.” You looked at his medical records and proceeded. “How’s your condition? Are you still experiencing anxiety?”

“30 minutes ago. When I was traveling to get here.” 

“Why? What’s running in your mind?” He wiggled his ankle and continued to play with his lips, thinking of the answer.

“I was nervous during the ride. I don’t know but sometimes, you make me feel nervous.” He let out a playful chuckle. 

“Why?”

“The fact that you knew everything about me makes me feel something. You’ve known everything about me yet I don’t know a single thing about you.” You don’t understand what's his point so you try to laugh to ease the heavy feeling you feel right now.

“Of course, you knew me, Jungkook. You’ve mentioned that you knew me even before the session started.” You give him a smile and you put down the folder that you are holding right now.

"Yeah, I know you, Doc. Everyone knows you. I'm aware of everything that's public about you. What I want to know is who Dr. Y/N is without her MD and PhD. What do you do during your days off, and what are your hobbies besides helping people with their problems?" He glanced at the wall beside you, where a painting of you hangs. It's a picture of you that people can see in your books, a gift from Yunjin. 

You’ve known Jeon Jungkook with his traumas and all however, you don’t know what he’s up to right now. He entered your clinic being a fragile person with his traumas and right now, it felt like you’re talking to another person. Maybe because this is him without his diagnosis. 

And you don’t know how to feel about it. 

—

It’s a photoshoot day for a magazine featuring you as a doctor and an author as well. It’s a media organization focusing on psychology and human behavior and you’re delighted to be featured for the upcoming magazine. You’ve already featured in some magazine but this time, it’s different because it’s ‘Psychology Today.’ 

You’re now on your way going to the studio with your team along with your agent, Kim. You seem to look calm and relax but deep down, nervousness is wrapping your insides. It is by far the biggest media organization where you will be featured and it’s another achievement of yours. 

As you get out of your car, you weren’t surprised that the location where the photoshoot is going to be held is this enormous. It’s a four-story building located at the center of the city. You’re not sure if the media organization also owns this but as you looked at the name of the building, it looks like it isn’t.

GCF Studio

As you enter the building, you are greeted by enthusiastic guards and staff, which motivates you even more for this shoot with them. The interior is minimalist, with the entire first floor being plain white. When you walk through the glass door, the first thing you see is the reception desk. To the right, there are couches and a coffee table where people can wait, and to the left, there's a cafeteria. You walk straight ahead toward the elevator, and one of your assistants presses the button for the third floor.

As the elevator door opened, you were greeted by a hallway with various doors, clearly indicating it's a working area where the shoot takes place. You walk a few steps before entering through double doors, where you find a bustling room filled with people busy at work. It resembles a dressing room but on a larger scale, with various outfits hanging, and several vanity mirrors where people can prepare for their shoot. It's fantastic.

“Good morning Dr. Y/N. Before we proceed with the shoot, I’d like to discuss with you what look you’ll be having for today. You also have full control of what you would like to look at and we’re here to assist you.” You are greeted by a young male with full of feminine energy. He’s tall and petite wearing a white blouse and a sweater that is hanging on his shoulder. He leads the way and you smile before you follow him. 

You’ve thought that this photoshoot will only take an hour of your time but you’re wrong because an hour just passed and they were still dressing you up. You didn’t feel uncomfortable because everyone is approachable and enthusiastic. They made you feel that you’re indeed their client. 

After an hour and a half of preparation, you finally entered the photoshoot studio, and once again, you found many people inside. You're not entirely sure about each person's specific role here, but everyone is clearly occupied. 

But the atmosphere immediately changed when the door swung open. It was chaotic seconds ago and right now, everyone is silent looking at the person who just entered. 

You saw a familiar figure. His tall and muscular figure is very familiar to you. He’s wearing a black slacks and a casual long sleeve polo that’s folded up until his elbow where you can clearly see half of his tattoo while his hair is pulled back. 

Jeon Jungkook is undeniably handsome and he knows it. 

“What’s this chaos? I told you that once I’ve entered the studio, everything should be ready.” His voice was threatening as he spoke with authority. A side of him that you’re not surprised to see. 

What surprised you is the fact that he’s inside of the studio. 

What is he doing here?

Everyone works silently as if they were being oppressed in their workplace. They were enthusiastic and approachable seconds ago and it all changed when he entered inside. 

“Good morning, Dr. Y/N. It wasn’t obvious how you look surprised to see me here, aren’t you?” Jungkook gave you a boastful smile like he doesn’t look threatening a few moments ago. 

A sign of bipolar disorder.

“Welcome to GCF Studio where there is no room for failure.”

You will be working with one of your patients and you’re not even aware of that.

Ethically, there is nothing wrong with working with your patients outside the session but you aren’t fond of that. The idea of working with your patient outside the session doesn’t suit you and particularly with the patient that is in front of you right now. 

You haven’t thought of the reason why but you just don’t. 

Everything is already set up, and you are now behind the backdrop while Jungkook is holding the camera, ready to capture everything. You're confident in the outcome of this shoot, but at this moment, it feels like everything is crashing down at your feet. Everyone is looking at you with high hopes for the result of this photoshoot, and you wouldn't want to ruin it.

“Smile for me, Y/N.”

—

You don’t know how you manage to end the photoshoot smoothly knowing that Jungkook is making you uncomfortable. You were mad at yourself because you don’t know why you felt that way. He isn’t doing anything but to do his job in taking a photo of you. 

Now that you're home, you don't have anything to be distressed about when thinking about what happened during the shoot.

You have to admit that there is something wrong with his words and actions. There are signs that he’s becoming manipulative and a sudden change of mood. He's self-absorbed and lacks remorse for others. You’ve been thinking that there are other diagnoses with his actions and behaviors however, you cannot suddenly show up and tell what other illness he has. You still have to observe your sessions with him. 

You have now freshen up and are ready to rest but you decide to visit your office to check your schedule for tomorrow and the following days. You only have one patient for tomorrow and most of your schedules are meetings. Before you log out, you glance at the folder of Jungkook in your patient list and you click it subconsciously. 

Jeon Jungkook, 31-year old male who suffers from PTSD, after surviving an extremely traumatic incident.

He witnessed his mother die in front of him and aside from that, he was also shot in his left thighs twice. And it happens in the comfort of their home. 

The suspect? A loan shark who’s coming for his mother. 

There are a lot of questionable things that happened during the incident and one of them is how come that he always claimed to have a successful business while his mother is buried in debt? He also claimed that he doesn’t know about the debt of his mother. There are several inconsistencies in his story but the bottom line is, the loan shark surrendered and is now in maximum security prison for murdering his mother.

You transfer the recordings you made over the following days to your computer and listen to one of them, specifically the conversations you had with Jungkook.

You have 12 sessions in total with him and you have 5 more sessions left before it finally comes to an end. You don’t count the remaining number of sessions with your patient until now.

—

You love to read books during your free time, However, it most likely does not happen due to your busy schedule. But right now, you take a break from everything and decide to go on a date with yourself. You don’t normally take a break but you’re becoming busier than usual and you don’t want to risk your health because you know that there are a lot of people that need you. 

You’re not a fan of going out and you prefer to stay at home and rest but getting out of your comfort zone won’t hurt you. You decided to visit your favorite cafe and do your thing there. You dislike rowdy places, that’s why you went early in the morning where people are still in the comfort of their bed.

You underestimate the morning and how you’re used to people getting up mostly before lunch yet there are people who also like you—waking up at 6 in the morning to get a morning coffee in their favorite cafe. 

“Dr. Y/N! You’re here!” You lift your head to see Jeon Jungkook standing in front of you with his bright smile while holding a cup of coffee. 

Among all the people you could meet here, you don't understand why it had to be him.

“Jungkook. I didn’t know you’re here.” You try to return the smile and you almost fail when he sits in front of you. 

He’s wearing a casual polo shirt and a pair of ripped jeans. Unlike the last time you saw him, every strand of his hair is falling into a harmonious arrangement. It looks so soft and suits him well. He looked effortlessly handsome as usual. 

“Just grab a coffee and then, I saw you.” He smiles sweetly before he gazes down at the book you’re reading. “I don’t know why I am surprised that you like reading books even for the fact that you’re an author.” 

"I read when I have time," you respond. "How are you?" you add, trying to steer the conversation away from yourself.

“I’m doing amazing. I’m continuing to write in my journal like what you suggest. It does help me a lot, Dr. Y/N.” He takes a sip from his coffee as he gets comfortable in his seat. He’s not leaving any moment now.

“That’s good. Journaling really works.” You just said whatever is in your mind because you’re thinking of an excuse to leave. 

“That’s right. But we’re not in the session right now, Doc. We don’t always have to talk about me.” He leans backward as he glances at your book once again. “The four agreements. I’ve read that book before. It’s good. You’re really into self-help books, aren’t you? You like to write and read about them.”

“Yes. It does help me to improve my writing. How about you? I didn’t know that you also read nonfiction books.”

“I started to read because of your books, Doc.” He looks at your eyes filled with tenderness, traced the curves of your face as if he's memorizing it.

He’s been looking at you like that lately as if he wants you to drown with the way he stares. The way he looks at you carries an underlying tone, and truthfully, that's one of the reasons why you've become uncomfortable around him.

“I’m glad that I’ve encouraged you to read books.” You answer while looking at your wrist watch hoping that he understands that you wanted to leave already. 

“Your photos from the last time were amazing. Our team has already sent you the soft copy. Did you receive it?” You do but you didn’t tell him.

“I haven’t seen it but I’ll check it out later.” You looked at your wrist watch once again.

“Yeah, you should. They were amazing. You’re stunning as always.” His eyes twinkled but you didn’t notice that.

“I want to thank you and your team for working hard on this shoot. I do appreciate it so much.” you smile and look at your wrist watch for the last time. “I’m afraid that I have to leave you right now. I already have to go home.”

“That fast? We haven’t talked a lot, Doc.” He fixed you with a steadfast gaze and you were caught off-guard. You’re thinking of what to respond but you were out of words. After a few seconds, he chuckles. “I was just kidding, Doc. I know how busy you are and I understand that.”

You let out a nervous laugh. “I apologize, Jungkook. There are a lot of things that I have to do. But I’ll see you on tuesday.” 

“You don’t have to apologize because I understand. Yes, I’ll see you on Tuesday, Dr. Y/N.”

—

Tuesday came and you just woke up yet you already wanted to end this day. It’s strange that you haven’t properly started your day but you already feel heavy to move forward. Yesterday was exhausting for all the work you’ve done and you didn’t get home until 10pm, however, it doesn’t justify your heavy feeling right now. You’ve experienced worse so you don’t understand why you feel this way.

As you make your way to the clinic, you receive numerous work-related calls, and you're already feeling tired from answering them. However, you have no choice but to attend to them.

“Good morning, Dr. Y/N. Your first patient has already arrived. Do you want me to let him wait inside your office or here in the lobby?” The receptionist spoke on the other line. 

“You can let him in. I’m almost there.” When the traffic light turns green, you already move. “Is it Mr. Park?” You asked.

“No. It’s Mr. Jeon, Doc.” 

Damn. That’s why the morning feels heavy.

As you arrive inside your office, you spot Jungkook in the corner looking at the frames that are standing in the chest drawers. The air conditioner is already on–Soyeon the receptionist must have turned it on. He immediately turned his head towards you when you opened the door and greeted you with his charming smile. 

“Good morning, Dr. Y/N. I thought you'd take longer to arrive because the receptionist already let me in.” He greeted and walked his way towards the sofa–where your patient normally sits. 

“I was stuck in the traffic. You know, morning rush hour.” You responded as you placed your things on your office table. 

Jungkook is a punctual person. He may arrive early or on time but he is never late. If you count the things that you like about him, you’re counting nothing because that’s the only thing you like about him.

“How are you?” Is the first thing you asked him when you get comfortable with your seat. You press the record button on your phone that's hidden from him.

“Bad. I met my father last night and I wish I didn’t.” He brushed his hair back and slouched on his seat. 

It's the first time he mentioned his father at the beginning of a conversation because he never does unless you ask about it. From his descriptions, his father seems like a terrible person. He never fulfilled his role as a father, often creating conflicts with his mother. His family life seems chaotic, and you believe it might be one of the reasons he's become the person he is today.

“Why did you meet him?” 

“He just showed up to my house without permission to talk about bullshit. My life is already at peace and he’s ruining it.” His jaw tightened.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Your eyes locked into him as you try reading his mind. You know that every patient that walks into your office has different problems in life and they are sometimes hard to predict but this man in front of you is something else. There is something in him that you couldn’t understand. 

“No. He’s a waste of time. He’s really… Okay, I’ll talk about him briefly. He’s a horrible person and he doesn’t deserve to be a father to me. I never got to experience the love from a father because the only thing that he gave me is hatred. He always gets drunk and gamble and he cheated with my mom multiple times. I’m not going to be surprised when I find out that I have other siblings from different mothers. He’s the worst person I’ve known.”

You find his explanation vague but you didn’t think much about it and you let him continue.

“Do you have other instances where you see the different side of your father? Something that makes him a person to you?” You asked.

“None. Even during childhood. Especially now that he only wants money from me. He and mother are very similar to each other. Maybe that’s why they end up together. They both pissed me off and even though my mother is not here anymore, I can remember her because of my shitty father.”

You were taken aback with what he just said. He never badmouthed his mother until now. When he discussed his mother, there is nothing else he said rather than how he misses her and how she’s a great mother to him. 

But you didn’t say anything about it and let him elaborate what he just said. 

“Do you think that your parents do the same thing?” You asked–hoping that he doesn’t suspect your question.

“Yeah. They may be doing it in different ways of being a shitty person but they are the same for being useless parents.” He puts his index finger on his lips and slowly rubs it while resting his elbow on the arm rest, looking at you with intensity. 

You’re finding a word to say but you found nothing. You wanted to look away but it would indicate that he caught you off-guard. 

You saw a glimpse of his demonic character for a second. His eyes that had once been warm and inviting, now bore into you with an unnerving intensity as if trying to peer into your soul.

He spoke once again and his voice took on a low, whispery, and the words that slipped from his lips sent chills down your spine.

"Maybe that's why she died. Now, I wonder when my father will be next."

—

You're standing on the side of the street embracing the subtle chill in the air as the city lights painted the night with different colors. People are walking by and snippets of hushed conversations drifted on the breeze while the flow of traffic added to the scene with vehicles weaving through the crowd.

You don’t know why Taehyung is taking so long to arrive. You’ve been waiting for him on the sidewalk for 10 minutes already when in fact, he should have been here 30 minutes ago. You’re going to come with him on his event show because he’s been annoying you for the whole week to come with him and for him to stop, you just agreed.

What pisses you off more is that he's running late, and your stomach is growling. You haven't had dinner because Taehyung assured you that he'd swing by the drive-thru to grab something for you to eat.

You're waiting for Taehyung, but someone else showed up in front of you.

“Dr. Y/N, hi!” You met Jeon Jungkook’s eyes with his bright and warm smile. He’s wearing a gray hoodie and skinny jeans that fit him perfectly. You looked in the surroundings of him if he's with someone and it seems that there’s none. 

“Hello, Jungkook. You’re heading somewhere?” You gave him a warm smile that hopefully, doesn’t look like it’s forced.

“Yeah. I’m going out for dinner. I was actually in that building,” He pointed out the building behind you and it looked like a law firm office. “I already saw you when I entered there but I didn’t have the chance to greet you because I’m in a hurry and now, you’re still here.” He glances at the road and returns his eyes to you. “You’re waiting for someone?” 

“Uhm, yeah. I am.” You looked at your phone to see if Taehyung had a message but there’s none.

“You’ve been here for a couple of minutes already. Are you sure that they are still going to make it here?” 

“Yeah. Maybe they—

You were taken aback when your stomach started to growl and heck, it’s so loud that you want the grounds to eat you alive. You were sure that your face was burning red and you couldn’t bear to make eye-contact with him as your gaze fixed elsewhere.

 You glance at him as a soft chuckle rumbles in his throat. “I already hate the person that keeps you waiting in hunger. You know what, I’d love to treat you for dinner with me and drive you to your destination afterwards. Or we can just go to a drive-thru.” If he’s someone else, maybe you will consider his offer. 

“No, it’s okay Jungkook. You don’t have to do that.” You glance at your phone to pretend that someone messages you. “My friend is already on his way. You can go.” 

“Your friend of yours is really something else. What kind of man is he for making you wait for so long on the street with your stomach empty?” His voice took on a sharp edge as his eyebrows knitted together.

“I’m really fine. You don’t have to think about me.” You force a smile as you bite the inside of your cheeks.

“I insist, Dr. Y/N. I really want to treat you for being there for me during my worst days. You help me a lot and I want to get you something to show my appreciation. It’s nothing big and I will be guilty if I just leave you here.” 

“I really appreciate your gesture, Jungkook, but I have other plans. Maybe next time?” You smile hoping that he understands that you don’t really want to go with him.

“With the same guy that made you wait in the cold air? Oh come on, Doc. You know better.” He spoke in a pompous tone, as if he proved that Taehyung is a horrible guy.

“You can make up to me some other time. I’m really–

You haven’t finished your sentence when Taehyung’s audi arrives beside you and he instantly gets out to meet your gaze.

“Y/N! I’m sorry for keeping you waiting. The traffic is so heavy.” He didn’t notice Jungkook until he opened the passenger’s seat and slowly glanced beside you. Jungkook released a sarcastic laugh and glared at Taehyung.

“What a surprise that Kim Taehyung–a famous musician and artist let a lady wait in the cold breeze with an empty stomach. I didn’t know that you’re such a gentleman, Taehyung.” He spoke in a mocking tone as Taehyung looked at him in confusion. 

“I’m sorry, who are you?” 

“You wouldn’t want to know.” He arched a brow before he returned his gaze to you. “If you really insist on being with this guy, then I’ll leave you already. I just hope that he won’t completely ruin your precious night.” He said before he finally turned around and walked away–placing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. When he’s already out of sight, you turn your head to Taehyung and glare at him.

“What?” You suddenly smack his chest before you hopped in the car.

“Damn you.”

—

It didn't take long before Jungkook was back, sitting on the couch in front of you. You’ve realized that your day always feels heavy every Tuesday of the week and that is whenever you’re going to have a session with him. 

You've tried to shake off the discomfort you feel when he's in front of you because you regret thinking of him differently from your other patients, but every time you try, he makes it worse.

“Are you taking your medicines I’ve prescribed you?” You scan his record file that you’re holding. 

“Yeah. I consistently take them, Doc.” He responded as he smugly looked at you and before you think of negative thoughts of him, you already returned your gaze back to the folder.

“Are you still having nightmares during your sleep?” He didn’t instantly respond like he’s thinking about the question carefully.

“I do. I still do, Dr. Y/N. But it wasn’t worse, unlike what I have for the last months.” 

“Then it’s a good sign. You’re now improving. Are you still thinking about the incident?” You give him a genuine smile while he slowly crosses his legs and places both of his arms on the arm rest.

“Yes, but not as frequently as before. I love my mother so much but I’ve learned to let her go and accept the fate she has. Afterall, it was her fault.” He was looking at the painting that Yunjin had given you as he answered. He doesn’t have much of a reaction but his last sentence caught your attention.

“Why do you think that it’s her fault?” You ask in your soft voice.

“You see, my mother isn’t the perfect mother and she has her mistakes and sometimes, she doesn’t learn from them. She keeps doing the same thing until she has to pay for it and that costs her life.” He responded.

“Do you want to talk about the mistakes that your mother made?” He smiled and played with his lips once again. You’ve noticed that he’s doing that if he finds something funny or there are things that he knows and you don’t.

“But we will take forever if we discuss it right now, Dr. Y/N. But if you’re really interested, we can talk about it over dinner. You promised me last time that you’ll come with me for dinner.” You mentally rolled your eyes with his statement. Here he goes again.

“Not right now. I still have a lot of things to do but we can talk about other things like how great your mother is.” You said and he laughed—as if your statement is absurd. You try to not raise your brows with his action and behavior. 

“Let's not talk about that, either.”

You were doing your best to understand his actions and statements but there is something in him that you haven’t seen. Something that will answer everything

“But I will tell you how I see my mother during the incident.” He leaned forward and intertwined his fingers “When my mother is kneeling and begging for her life, I was thinking that ‘damn. It’s really happening, isn't it?’. And when the trigger was pulled, the world stopped. And after a few moments, I felt a sense of relief and before I knew it, I was shot as well.” His voice was soft and light as if he’s confessing something that he should have confessed before. 

You felt a shiver down your spine as the creeping horror crawled along your arms, raising goosebumps. You held unflinching eye contact, determined to keep your composure and hide the discomfort and fear you felt.

“Where were you when your mom was being shot?” You asked as you held your breath.

This question is already asked during the investigation. ‘I’m in the living room, 10 feet away from her. When I saw her  position and situation, I immediately ran towards her but it was too late because before I even reached her, she was already shot in the chest. It didn’t take 10 seconds of my life before I was shot as well’.

But you still ask him once again. Away from the detectives.

“I was there, I told you.” 

“Yes, but in what position?” Your hands are already trembling. 

“I was standing,” He took a deep breath before he continued. His next sentence didn’t surprise you because it was something you already expect but trying to deny it to yourself, and it terrifies you, so much that you thought that this may be your last day.

“After I was shot, I collapsed, along with the gun I was holding.” 

a/n: I'm almost done with the whole series so I've decided to post the first part. I hope you'll like this new fic because I enjoy writing it! I am open for comments to further improve my works. Have a nice day everyone!

taglist: @iloverubberduckiez-blog @kingofbodyrolls @fangirl-death-rose @looneybleus @softie00

[uarmygguk]

if anyone’s wondering what post of oc’s made him get so riled up(?)

fic : back to you

timeline : post before she left for the trip that made things messier between them

[jmdbjk]

Looking back and forward.

2023 was one for the books.

It is Thursday, Dec. 7 where I am... Friday, Dec. 8 in Korea.

It is the last Friday for Namjoon, Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook to be civilians. This is their last weekend to spend in their homes, at the company to work, running along the river, doing boxing workouts, ordering delivery food, loving on their dogs, doing the things they've been doing the last over ten years. It will be about 100 days until they get time off and can maybe spend some time back at home.

They are tying up loose ends, getting their shit together, preparing to put their lives on hold.

They will return to us in mid-June 2025.

I've watched their last group live several times after the english subs were up. There were a lot of things I saw and I have a lot of mixed emotions about it all.

None of us know these men, we are observers and all we know is what they choose to show us. Unfortunately, they can't control every single thing and people and the media insist on prying and publishing images and things about them that lead to unconfirmed rumors and misinformation.

In the approximately 38 minutes they shared with us, they conveyed that they are getting ready to go, they seemed in positive spirits. They conveyed that they were still working on things for us (except Jungkook).

They said there was A LOT of content coming, so much... they've NEVER ever reassured us like this before.

They asked fans to NOT show up at the induction site out of respect for the other men and their families also entering the military those days. They explicitly said "we are their face and to do them proud."

During this live, I saw Tae being the fantastically funny guy that he is. Tae was alight with excitement. He was anxious to learn from his fellow soldiers. He is a flower waiting to bloom. And seeing his friendship with Jimin maturing, flourishing, same age friends forever was wonderful.

And Namjoon trying to keep up with the crazy shenanigans of the maknae line. Trying to be the voice of reason: "it'll go by quick, we've left a lot of content. Jin will be back soon. We'll all get strong." But there seemed to be a bit of push and pull between he and Jimin... it was interesting. But he was lighthearted, positive, going into with an open mind. Get in, get out, get back to work.

Jimin, Jimin, Jimin... There was a bit of resignation wrapped up in Jimin's positivity. He wouldn't agree that it would go by fast and he didn't want to show himself with the buzz cut. I wanted to reach through the screen and hold his hand and reassure him we'd be here waiting and that we know it's hard to leave everything right now to do this. This man lives to do work on his passion. He's already had to stop once. Now he has to do it again. I think he is going into his MS kicking and screaming because he does not want to leave his youth behind. It is unfinished.

He said he had been sick. He coughed, sneezed and sniffled the entire live. I hope all of these symptoms have disappeared by Monday/Tuesday. I remember his friend Sungwoon had to delay his enlistment date because he tested positive for covid. Please don't let that happen to any of our four.

During this last group live, I saw a Jungkook that I'd never seen before. His vibe was so in tune to Jimin. I know he's been that way since... 2017? 2018? But this was so in your face I was dumbfounded. Jungkook constantly soothing Jiminie. The things they probably talked about while they were in Japan a few weeks ago, man, to be a fly on the wall.

ALL of those lives he did this past year flashed through my head, how unhinged he was the first few months, falling asleep drunk with the candle, calling out stalkers. ALL those times WE said he was missing Jimin because he was begging him to come eat chicken and drink beer, or come do a boxing workout, or better yet, "let me come over and we can shower together..." No... I meant to say: he can go over to Jimin's and wash up and do a live together. Yes, that's what he said. Beggged him. Tried to use Army as leverage. And all we got was Jimin saying he "can handle it" and "you know how my personality is"...

Jungkook watching all that Jimin content... something happened, some decision was made early in the year. Jungkook embraced it and ran with it.

And to know they are going into the service together, it still has me astonished but it all makes sense now. Y'all... they knew they were going to do this wayyyyyy back, not just in August or September when they applied. Jungkook said back in February (before someone lit a fire under his butt in March to start working on music) that he had to take care of his body for the next year. This has been the plan and Jungkook said "no worries, I got this."

2023 was A LOT.

Jimin, Face: the melodies poured out (as they seem to be free-flowing from him at any given moment) but he had to pry those lyrics out of himself. Jimin achieved a #1 BBHot100. And yes, it appears there were not just one, but TWO of those blasted cakes. I didn't know much about PDogg before Jimin's documentary but now I know how much he supported Jimin during this process.

Yoongi, D-Day: I got to see Yoongi in real life. That weekend flew by for me. One of the best weekends ever. As soon as the concert was over I said out loud, I need to see all seven on that stage. His concert tour filled a void for us. We needed that so bad after last year's gut-wrenching news that there would be no tour. And now he's fulfilling his social service. Let him serve quietly with dignity.

Hobi, Military: after tearfully sending him off, what we hear now is he's cracking the whip, though ever-so empathetically (not to be confused with emphatically) over those new enlistees every day. I need to see his boom chakalaka marching drills. Jimin said when he visited Hobi, he wasn't greeted with his ebullient "Jaman!" but more of a lowkey "oh, you're here."

Jungkook, his solo songs and album: Jungkookie chose to go the route of choosing songs that resonated with him. Over the course of years, Kookie has always shared songs with us. We used to love his song recs and his covers of very poignant songs. He KILLED those songs with his vocals. He did what HE wanted to do. And look how well he did with it, also a #1 BBHot100.

Taehyung, Layover: again, Taehyung did what he wanted to do. Not on his album, but Taehyung singing along with Karen Carpenter was never on my bingo card, ever! (a clip on his Instagram stories where he was singing along to "Close to You")

RM, we kept wondering: why isn't he enlisted yet? Someone had to wrangle the maknae. Not that he ever did that this past year. He cut himself over his left eye and had to get stitches... that's gonna leave a scar. Good thing there are 40 bajillion plastic surgeons in Seoul...

Jin is coming. The Head of Ministry of the Military making the decision that no celeb will be doing anything special, instead they will serve just like regular civilians. Sergeant Kim Seokjin will become civilian Jin of BTS on June 12, 2024.

Their constant looking forward to 2025

Skipping over 2024 for the moment...

BTS has to evolve. They must evolve. They are not going to be a 30 something year old K-pop boy band. Some groups might be stuck but BTS will not stay stagnant, they never have. They have to step forward out of that niche and they have been trying to do that incrementally for a while now. They’ve taken us in baby steps already through chapter 2, and Joon said the REAL chapter 2 will begin when they are back from fulfilling their service.

What will they be like? Will they reinvent themselves? Perhaps, but not overnight. I don’t see any sort of extreme makeover for BTS once they come back together. I do see them addressing more mature topics (as we’ve seen), I do hope we see songwriting from all members.

They don't need to abandon their Korean-ness in order to accomplish this. There is nothing stopping them from being a mainstream artist who just happens to be from Korea and who release songs that are in Korean.

I think the accomplishments that Jungkook achieved will continue to pull BTS out of the K-pop realm and into the main stream Pop music realm. They worked that western market. They got pushback, especially western industry institutions: Billboard and the Grammys. And they learned.

Progress is slow but progress nevertheless. They will cross over to general pop one way or the other. They are not going to stay in the kpop box in the future. Straddle both at the same time. They can do it.

For 2024:

I think comeback/HYYH 10th anniversary reboot is already in the works and has been.

I think PDogg will be working on the songs over the next year. I think they have recorded all this year.

I think when Jin and Hobi get back, they might record their parts. I also am pretty sure we'll see a full-bodied solo effort from Jin and more from Hobi. I think we'll get a ramp up to his discharge with some Hope on the Street content that he recorded before he enlisted.

I think we'll slowly see wheels start turning to get the machine going again much sooner than we imagined.

I think what we see next year will all be primed to pre-promote and whip up the excitement for 2025.

I just feel strongly that Bang PD would NOT have mentioned that specific thing and we would not be hearing the members constantly saying 2025. And especially saying 2025 is not that far in the future and that they are looking forward to the incredible synergy the group will have when they get back together. They've got a lot of work done already. They know already.

They said there is A LOT coming to us.

In about two weeks BTS: Beyond the Star docu-series will begin.

We know we're getting some sort of Jimin and Jungkook traveling content, whether a series or not...I'm leaning toward it being a multi-episode series. Camping? Drinking? Breweries? Beaches? Boating or sailing or both but separate? Fishing? Snow sports? They said it was fun.

We will see activity around all the solo album anniversaries. We still have an RM documentary, a Taehyung documentary and a Jungkook documentary. I bet the latter two will come out towards the end of 2024.

We might have Tae acting, we know he'll be in an IU MV soon.

About aging bangtan ...

Remember when we said this is Bangtan in 20 years?

I joke about it but seriously they are aware that things will be different as they evolve and age as people and as artists.

There are new groups debuting all the time and BTS is aging out of a certain demographic (as they should).

Yoongi saying "cruise with BTS" would be the best case scenario for their future.

I would love to be on that cruise if it ever happens.

[ihamtmus]

oh ty for telling me about the letter!!

no problem!! i saw a LOT of people circulating just a fragment of his letter and i just hope they can find the full version because it's really lovely! and we got not one but two letters from hobi today 🥹

it was shown during jin's message live but in case anyone missed it, here is the full thing:

(source)

[theskoomacat]

if your AAA survival horror title doesn't include a honest to god musical number don't even fucking bother

[melancholy-of-nadia]

infatuation (m) | myg

title: infatuation pairing: yoongi x f. reader rating/genre: m ; smut ; agust d universe (AgustDverse based in Haegeum) ; gang leader / mafia AU summary:  Living with fragmented and blurry memories has lead you to live under the roof of Bangkok's biggest secret crime boss, Agust D, as his bodyguard. Though, being confined to the mansion most of the time has made you feel isolated, craving freedom and answers. When he decides to take you out to dinner for the first time, the atmosphere is charged with tension and suspicion. You're not the only one who's patience is wearing thin, however, instead, it's discovering this man's infatuation with you that will lead you to change your mind. warnings:  weapon mention (katana), reader has minor amnesia, back and forth arguing, murder mention, deep fish imagery/analogy, haegeum!suga mention, dominant haegeum! agust d, making out, penthouse s*x, f*ngering, cl*t stimulation, orgasm denial, choking, power imbalance, bl*w job, bre*st play, spiting, deep throating, pet names, agust d praises you by calling you "good girl", unprotected s*x, lowkey breeding k*nk, choking, possessiveness, multiple orgasms, uh i think that's it!... yandere? haegeum!agust d maybe note: it's been a year since i uploaded my first fic in this universe i call the AgustDverse. Also the first fic that got me into writing bts fics! I've been requested to continue this universe by my dear friend @daegudrama. I don't know if it'll ever become an actual cohesive series, but if you guys like it, let me know! also this is veerrrryyyyy much unedited im sorry i will edit later word count: 6.0k drop date: August 6th, 2024 7:30pm PST mood playlist | ao3 link – –

You never thought you'd find yourself in this situation—nestled within the mansion walls of a mafia boss masquerading as a police detective. 

Known as Agust D. 

How did you get here? It's a question that continuously echoes through your mind like a constant drumbeat. 

It’s not an easy question to answer. It’s actually pretty complicated. Time travel? A quantum jump? You don’t know whatever scientific phenomenon this is. 

But for your own sanity, you decided not to dwell too much on it, especially when the present demands your full attention.

Agust has let you live here under the guise of acting as his bodyguard, which is perhaps the strangest thing you've ever done. You had no prior guarding experience, but the katana sword that hangs by your side now tells otherwise. This item is a constant reminder of your supposed purpose here: to protect the mansion, to protect Agust D. But deep down, you know there's more to this arrangement than meets the eye.

Tonight, however, is different. Agust D, the enigmatic master of this mansion, has extended an invitation—an invitation to dine at an upscale Chinese restaurant. It's a rare opportunity to step beyond the confines of these walls, to breathe in the outside world, if only for a fleeting moment.

As you stand before the full-length mirror in your room, you can't help but feel a surge of apprehension. The maids have stated that Agust D insisted you wear a black satin dress he selected for the occasion—a garment that feels foreign against your skin, yet somehow fitting for the night. You’re too used to wearing a collared white button-up and a plaid skirt for most of the time while you’re at the mansion. You don’t know how long you’d been wearing that, but definitely longer than a young girl who’s in prep school.

Adjusting the delicate fabric, you take in your reflection, the unfamiliarity of the attire almost unnerving. 

A knock at the door interrupts your contemplation, and without waiting for a response, Agust D enters, his presence commanding the room. Dressed in a tailored black suit that exudes power and authority, he regards you with a scrutinizing gaze.

"You look stunning," he remarks, a hint of satisfaction tugging at the corners of his lips. "Are you ready to go?"

With a half nod, you follow him down the stairs and out of the mansion, the cool night air wrapping around you like a shroud of secrecy. Then you hop into the black sports car, which Yoongi decides to drive this time instead of his chauffeur.

The journey to the restaurant is silent, punctuated only by the quiet sounds of the piano music playing, which came from connecting Agust D’s phone to the car’s aux.

He really does love Ryuichi Sakamoto’s music, you comment internally to yourself.

When you arrive at the restaurant, you're met with the grandeur of an upscale Chinese eatery perched on the top floor of a hotel building. The space is a harmonious blend of modern elegance and traditional opulence. As you step inside, the ambient chatter of elite people and the soft clinking of cutlery fill the air, creating a lively yet refined atmosphere that contrasts sharply with the muted silence of the mansion.

The restaurant’s interior is a feast for the senses. Rich, dark wood paneling lines the walls, accented by gold and red details that evoke a sense of luxury. Elegant lanterns hang from the ceiling, their warm, golden light casting a gentle glow across the room. The tables are adorned with crisp white linens, polished silverware, and delicate porcelain dishes, each piece carefully chosen to complement the sophisticated ambiance.

The scent of Chinese cuisine mingles with the faint aroma of incense, creating an inviting and tantalizing atmosphere. The restaurant's design features intricate latticework and traditional Chinese artwork, adding a touch of cultural authenticity to the modern setting. Plush, comfortable chairs surround each table, offering a sense of intimacy and relaxation.

As the restaurant host takes note of Agust D standing beside you, there’s a brief moment of panic in his eyes. He quickly ushers you both to a secluded corner of the establishment, a private nook separated from the rest of the dining area by elegant silk drapes. This area, though separated, still enjoys a view of the city skyline through large, floor-to-ceiling windows, offering a breathtaking panorama of the illuminated city below. 

You are seated across from Agust, but there’s still a subtle awkward atmosphere surrounding the both of you when he orders and after the food arrives. 

For a moment, the clinking of silverware against porcelain fills the silence before Agust D finally speaks.

"Do you still not remember anything?" 

You hesitate, uncertainty flickering in the depths of your eyes about how to respond to him. "Bits and pieces," you admit, your gaze lingering on the dimly lit surroundings. "But nothing concrete. It's like trying to grasp at shadows."

His expression remains impassive, but you catch a fleeting glimpse of something else—something akin to regret, perhaps, or even longing. "It will come back to you," he says, his tone softer than before. "With time."

You only nod, going back to eating one of the xiaolongbao at the center of the table.

The air between you and Agust D grows heavier once again with unspoken words. You don’t like the silence. As someone who is very self-aware of their self, you feel compelled to break the silence to not be stuck in your head. 

"Agust D," you begin tentatively, the name feeling foreign on your tongue yet strangely familiar. You don’t refer to him by name often, as you opt for ‘sir’ or the occasional ‘Hyungnim’. "Why did you bring me here tonight? You never do this sort of thing…"

He regards you with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. "Well, you've been cooped up in that mansion for so long," he replies cryptically, his gaze piercing through the facade you've carefully constructed. “Thought it would be good to treat you for your work.”

"But why now?" you press, unable to suppress the curiosity gnawing at your insides. "And wearing this?" You refer to the short piece of black fabric covering you.

Agust D's lips quirk up in a wry smile, though there's no warmth in it. "Maybe I wanted to see how you'd be like out… not on duty," he muses, his eyes never leaving yours. "Or perhaps I simply wanted company for the evening."

Company, huh? From the outside, it looks like you’re on a date. You wouldn’t doubt the restaurant staff is already gossiping from behind the curtains partitioning you from the rest of the world.

You can't help but feel a sense of unease at his words, a nagging suspicion that there's more to his motives than meets the eye. "Is that really all?" you press, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "Or is there something else you're not telling me?"

For a moment, Agust D's mask slips, revealing a flicker of vulnerability beneath the facade of indifference. "There's always more to say," he murmurs, his gaze turning distant as if lost in memories you can't access. "But some things are better left unsaid."

What does he even mean by that? You feel like every time you speak even a bit casually to this man, you only end up more confused and maybe even a bit more scared.

"Agust D," you venture cautiously, "...are you still looking for Suga?"

At the mention of the name, a shadow passes over Agust D's features, his expression hardening into a mask of resolve. "Suga," he repeats, the name dripping with bitterness and contempt. "Of course I’m looking for him. That man is nothing but trouble. I need to get rid of him."

You can't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the man whose name hangs between you like a specter, a reminder of the past you can't quite grasp. "But why? Why do you hate him so much?" you ask softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Agust D's eyes darken with a mix of anger and regret, a storm raging beneath the surface. "He’s got my face and that in itself is a danger to all of us," he admits, his voice raw with emotion. "He could also be the answer to everything I've lost, but it’s better if that answer is never revealed."

The words hang heavy in the air from a confession laden with pain. And as you gaze into the depths of Agust D's eyes, you realize that beneath the cold exterior lies a man haunted by his past—a man who, like you, is searching for answers, but afraid to confront them. You want to pry into what he means, but you’re scared that he may act aggressively. So instead you change the topic.

"Don’t you know his whereabouts though?" you inquire softly, your voice laced with concern.

Agust D's gaze meets yours. "I do," he confirms, his voice low and measured. "He’s in Chinatown. Living in an apartment at the end of Weng Nakorn Kasem. But I can’t act on impulse. I’m too heavily involved in the Asia Pacific Police Union, and that already involves too many variables, too many unknowns."

A sense of foreboding settles over you as you listen to his words, the weight of his burdens pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket. "What do you mean?" you press, your voice barely a whisper.

Agust D sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I can't move against him yet," he admits, his tone laced with resignation. "Not until I know how many people are on my side. There are spies within the organization. If I act too quickly, I could end up getting myself killed…"

The gravity of his words hangs heavy in the air, casting a shadow over the fragile truce that exists between you. And yet, despite the dangers that lurk in the darkness, you can't help but feel a flicker of hope. If you help him in capturing Suga, then maybe you’ll be able to piece your own puzzle together.

But would that even be a good idea?

"Agust D," you say softly, smiling gently at him, "you know you don't have to face this alone. Whatever happens, I'll stand by your side. Not like I have much of a choice anyway." Your words trail off at the end. He doesn’t comment on it though.

For a moment, there's a vulnerability in Agust D's gaze, a fleeting glimpse of the man beneath the mask. He reaches out to take your hand, his expression softening ever so slightly at your words. "Thanks," he murmurs, his voice a whisper in the dimly lit restaurant.

“It’s my job after all.”

––––––

After finishing dinner, the two of you begin to walk out of the restaurant, entering a long hallway that leads to large red sliding doors that exit.  Your eyes drift toward the grand wall aquarium positioned near the exit, its towering glass panels reflecting the soft glow of the overhead lights.

The aquarium is a masterpiece of design, housing a diverse array of aquatic life within its transparent confines. Colorful coral reefs sway gently in the water, their vibrant hues casting mesmerizing patterns of light and shadow across the sandy substrate below.

But amidst the bustling underwater ecosystem, your gaze fixates on a lone goldfish, its sleek form gliding gracefully through the water. Its vibrant orange scales shimmer in the ambient light, a stark contrast to the subdued colors of its surroundings.

A pang of concern tugs at your heart as you watch the solitary fish navigate its artificial habitat. Don't goldfish typically reside in tranquil ponds, surrounded by the soothing sounds of nature? Is it even safe for them to be confined within the confines of this glass enclosure?

Lost in thought, you fail to notice Agust D's departure until you feel a gentle tug on your arm. Startled, you turn to find him regarding you with a curious expression, his gaze flickering between you and the aquarium.

"What's on your mind?" he asks softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You tear your gaze away from the mesmerizing display before you, your thoughts still lingering on the lone koi fish. "I was just...thinking about that fish," you admit, gesturing toward the aquarium.

“The goldfish?”

“Mhm,” As you stand there, watching the solitary koi fish swim about, a wistful sigh escapes your lips. "I wish I were a fish sometimes," you murmur.

As funny as your sentence sounds, you thought the older man would laugh at you for making a comment like that. However, Agust D's gaze flickers at you, curiosity gleaming in his eyes. 

"Why's that?" he asks, his voice soft with intrigue.

You pause, contemplating your answer as you watch the graceful movements of the fish. "Uh, well they seem so free," you explain, your voice tinged with longing. “They get to go wherever they want. move through life with such ease in the water, not burdened by the weight of the world.”

As you continue to watch the fish, a sense of yearning wells up within you—a desire to shed the constraints of your human existence. "Sometimes," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper, "I wish I could trade places with that fish just so I could be able to live freely, to live without my own burdens."

Agust D nods in understanding, a silent reassurance amid your musings. "But you know, even fish have their own struggles. I mean, look at it, it’s trapped in this Chinese restaurant’s aquarium as entertainment for guests, fighting to survive in a place it doesn’t belong,”

Sigh.

He’s right. But you hate the fact that he’s right.

“That still doesn’t change what I said. Plus, I don't want to be that fish.” you interject, your voice laced with a hint of sadness. "Slowly destroyed by its surroundings… not belonging there."

Agust D's brow furrows in contemplation, his gaze returning to the small goldfish. "So what are you trying to say?" 

"I don't want to feel like that," you admit. "Trapped in a world that doesn't feel like home, constantly struggling to find where I belong!"

And you hate it because that is exactly how you’ve been feeling right now. You’re living with a man several years older than you, who is probably the most dangerous man in Thailand, maybe even all of Asia. And you have no idea why you stuck here with him, but where could you really go? Where are you actually from? Where is home?

Agust D's expression hardens slightly, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. "Life isn't always about feeling at home," he counters. "Sometimes it's about surviving where you are and making the best of it."

No! He doesn’t get it.

You feel a flicker of irritation at his words, your emotions bubbling just beneath the surface. "That's easy for you to say," you retort, tone sharp. "You're not the one who's been confined to that mansion, to these guarding duties, waiting for memories to come back."

His eyes narrow slightly, a spark of challenge igniting in them. "You think I don't have my own battles?" he snaps back. "I'm out there every day, dealing with threats you can't even imagine."

"At least you have control over these things. You have the entirety of this city wrapped around your finger," you snap, the words spilling out before you can stop them. "At least you know who you are and what you're fighting for!”

The tension between you two shifts. Agust D steps closer, his presence looming, but you refuse to back down, meeting his gaze with unwavering resolve.

Inside, you're a storm of emotions—anger, confusion, and a touch of desperation. How can he be so dense and unreadable, yet so annoyingly calm? It's like talking to a brick wall sometimes. Every word you say seems to bounce off him while his expression remaining infuriatingly stoic. You want to scream, to make him understand just how much this is tearing you apart, but he stands there, unmoved, as if your turmoil is nothing more than a slight breeze in his world.

“Agust, you–”

"Fuck…you're so hot when you're upset, doll," he murmurs, interrupting you with a low growl that sends a shiver down your spine. Before you can react, he grabs your arm, pulling you toward the exit.

Huh?

"Hey!" you protest, your frustration mingling with a surge of adrenaline. But Agust D doesn't relent, his grip firm as he guides you out of the restaurant and into the elevator.

As the elevator doors slide shut, sealing you both inside the confined space, the tension between you reaches a boiling point. "What are you doing?" you demand, your voice a mix of anger and confusion.

Instead of answering, Agust D pushes you against the wall, his lips crashing down on yours with a fierce intensity. Your initial resistance melts away as the kiss deepens, the heat between you igniting into a blazing inferno powered by unknown frustrations beneath the surface.

You pull back just enough to catch your breath, your chest heaving as you glare at him. "You can't just—" you start, but he silences you with another kiss, his hands roaming possessively over your body.

"I can and I will," he murmurs against your lips, his voice a husky whisper. "Because right now, all I can think about is you."

Your frustration mingles with a heady mix of desire, the lines between anger and passion blurring as you give in to the moment. As the elevator ascends, the world outside fades away, leaving only the two of you.

When the elevator dings softly, signaling its arrival on your floor, you find yourselves in a private hallway in the hotel building, the opulent surroundings a stark contrast to the intensity of your kiss. Agust D pulls back, his eyes dark with desire and determination.

"We're not done talking," he says, his voice a low rumble that sends a thrill through you. "But right now, I need you."

Your eyes are left wide open, feeling hormones coursing through you.

This can’t be happening. Is this all a dream? Yes, this has to be. And what’s with the scenario? Are you that sexually frustrated? You admit you’ve never done this sort of thing and have only spent your free time reading erotica for entertainment. 

But to dream about fucking the very man keeping you captive within his mansion and living as a bodyguard. There has got to be something wrong with you. Maybe you’re experiencing Stockholm syndrome? But you’ve not once felt emotionally attached to this man.

Though there have been times you’ve looked at him and thought about how beautiful he looked.

Shit.

Maybe you’ll go along with this. Everything else be damned, for now.

“Show me then,” You word out, which only fires him up more.

Agust D’s grip on your arm is firm but not painful as he leads you down the luxurious hallway to a penthouse suite, the plush carpet muffling your footsteps. Your thoughts are a chaotic jumble, torn between the logical part of your brain screaming at you to stop and the primal part urging you to give in.

As soon as the door to a suite clicks shut behind you, he’s on you again, pushed against a wall, his lips claiming yours with a hunger that leaves you breathless. You respond in kind, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. Every touch, every kiss feels electric, igniting a fire within you that you didn’t know existed.

In the back of your mind, you know this is wrong. You know you should be resisting, should be fighting against the pull he has on you. But right now, in this moment, all you can think about is the way his hands feel on your skin, the way his lips move against yours, the way his presence consumes you.

He pulls back just enough to look into your eyes, his breath hot against your lips. “You’re mine,” he murmurs, showcasing his possessive nature. “I refuse to let you go.”

His hands start to inch up under your dress until he reaches your core and starts flicking at your clit. You gasp, the sensation sending shockwaves through your body. He watches your reaction with a smirk, clearly enjoying the effect he has on you.

“Is this what you wanted?” he whispers, his voice low and teasing. “To feel me, to know that you’re mine?”

You can barely form a coherent thought, let alone a response. All you can do is nod, your body arching toward his touch, craving more.

“Good,” he says, his fingers moving with a deft precision that has you teetering on the edge. “Because I’m not stopping until you know that you belong to me.”

He continues his ministrations, his touch driving you wild with need. The logical part of your brain has long since surrendered, leaving only the raw, primal desire that burns within you.

His fingers slide below your black lace underwear until he inserts them inside you with a sly grin. You can't help but moan at the invasion, your body trembling with anticipation. He moves them in and out, hitting just the right spot, causing you to writhe beneath him.

"This is what you get," he growls, his voice low and commanding. "For. every. time. you. talked. back. to. me. today." He growls, punctuating every word with a thrust inside your pussy.

“F-Fuck A-Agust!” And holy shit does it feel so good.

As lust starts to fog your mind and the air fills with moans, you don't know what's happening to you. But you don't care. The fire inside you is burning brighter by the second, and you can't get enough of the man who's taken control of your body and mind at this moment

Yoongi places his thumb on your nub and plays with it, squishing it in circular motions, then using his finger to rub it a little faster then slowing down only to fasten the pace again. You felt a very familiar feeling boiling up in your lower belly threatening to unleash itself.

“I’m not gonna let you reach your high yet.” 

Suddenly, he removes all his fingers from you and you whimper immediately, the absence of his touch leaving you desperate for more.

Yoongi bites down against his lips, eyes quickly traveling from your face and down your body, “Huh…W-Wait..P-Please…” You pant heavily, trying to rub your thighs together to pick back up the pace that was headed toward your release

“I thought you wanted to leave me, doll?” He leans in closer, chuckling in your face, and you shake your head. At this moment, you realize that he’s hard under his dress pants. “Are you sure? I don’t give orgasms to people that won’t obey me.”

“I-I’ll prove it to you!” You drop to your knees quickly, placing your hands on both of his sides. “Oh? And how will you do that?” He gives you a curious look, already knowing what to expect from your sudden submissive behavior. While he spoke, you unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, pulling it down along with his boxers to reveal his cock.

“Oh fuck…” You let out in the smallest whisper. He wasn’t long per se, but more than average. But the girth… holy shit. Will it even fit in any of your holes? And the way his precum is already pearling on his tip just from what you two did earlier? You swallow nervously, but you’re not one to back away from a challenge. “Like this.” 

You hold his cock gently from the base, proceeding to gather spit from your mouth and letting it drop on it. You proceed to move your hand, spreading his precum and your saliva on his dick, managing to get a good slide and starting to move your hand quicker. You looked up innocently, already noticing a flicker of Agust’s facade fade as he felt himself slipping away in pleasure. In his mind, he was tempted to say fuck it all and let himself fuck against your hand, but he knew better than just to let himself become an animal. After the prep, you part your mouth and slowly take him in, the stretch already starting to hurt your jaw from his wide size. In the meantime, you just suck around his head and use your hand to deliver pleasure to the rest of his shaft, earning deep-sounding curses and moans while your tongue swirled around him. 

His eyes are glued to you, watching you work his cock with your kitten-like licks. Though, this isn’t enough for him. He wants to thrust up down your throat so bad and fuck you until your voice was sore. He wants to see how much you’re willing to take in that small mouth of yours.

And that’s exactly what he does. He places his hand on your head, giving you small pats and rubs disguised as encouragement for your efforts. Then his hand starts inching towards the back of your head until he suddenly grabs a handful of your hair and forcibly pushes his dick further until your smacked against his pelvis.

“Seems like you still need practice. Don’t worry, I’ll train you,” he murmurs, his grip tightening on your hair as he begins to thrust into your mouth. The tip hits the back of your throat and you gag reflexively, but he doesn't let up, pushing deeper with each thrust. Your eyes start to water, now holding onto his sides for dear life, but you force yourself to take it, willing your throat to open up and accommodate his girth. His palm comes up to your cheek to rub your cheek, feeling himself on the other side enter in and out of you.

He grunts with each deep thrust, his hips pistoning in and out of your mouth as you struggle to keep up with his rhythm. You feel like you're choking, but you don't want to disappoint him and prevent you from reaching your orgasm after. However, it doesn’t take long for him to come undone, swallowing saliva and cum down your throat. He removes himself and you begin to cough erratically. You have never deep-throated before, so it’s a miracle you didn’t throw up or die from this. It’s definitely not as easy as porn makes it seem. You’ve been lied to by the media! “Haah… Holy shit…” You groan, trying to catch your breath and stabilize your heart rate.

“You alright?” He questions, voice tinged with slight worry as he fixes his pants and underwear back up and leans down towards your face. “I lost myself for a bit…”

“It’s okay–” You pause, shocked for a moment to hear your voice sound hoarse. Despite that, Agust chuckles, using his palm once again to rub against your cheek to comfort you, smiling softly. “Good girl. Now you’ll get your reward.” With this, he guides you to the master bedroom, his grip on your arms firm yet careful, leading you through the opulent suite. The room is a testament to luxury, with rich, dark wood furniture that you knew Agust requested in the hotels he invests in and soft, ambient lighting that casts a warm glow over everything. The large windows offer a stunning view of the Bangkok city skyline, but your focus is solely on him.

He pushes you gently onto the king-sized bed, the plush mattress sinking beneath your weight. The silk sheets feel cool against your skin, starkly contrasting the heat building between you. Agust D stands over you, his eyes dark with desire, a predator savoring his prey.

He slowly removes his jacket, his movements deliberate, his eyes never leaving yours. You watch, your breath hitching as he unbuttons his suit vest, followed by his shirt, revealing his semi-muscular and beefy figure beneath. You’ve never seen him like this before, as he’s a very reserved man when it comes to his body. But each inch of exposed skin sends a fresh wave of anticipation through you.

“You’ve been so good,” he murmurs, his voice low and husky. “Now, let me take care of you.”

He climbs onto the bed, sitting between your legs where his hands start trailing up your thighs, pushing the hem of your dress higher. His touch is electrifying, each caress igniting a fire in your core. He leans down, his lips ghosting over your skin, leaving a trail of burning kisses from your collarbone to your ear.

His breath is hot against your ear as he whispers, “Tell me you want this.”

“I want this,” you breathe, your voice trembling with need.

“Good,” he says, his lips curling into a satisfied smile. “Because once I start, I won’t be able to get enough of you.”

His hands are everywhere, exploring, teasing, and driving you to the brink of madness. He slips the dress off your shoulders, letting it fall away completely, leaving your body exposed and vulnerable beneath him. His eyes rake over your body, a dark hunger in his gaze.

“So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, his voice thick with desire. “My doll.”

He lowers himself, his mouth finding your breast, sucking and nibbling until you’re arching into him, your fingers tangled in his slick black hair. He trails kisses down your stomach, his hands gripping your hips as he positions himself between your legs.

You gasp as he presses a kiss to your inner thigh, his breath hot against your skin. “Ready for your reward?” he asks, his voice a seductive whisper.

“Mm..” You only make a sound and nod due to the lust clouding your mind. How do you say words? Do words matter?

He pinches your clit slightly which makes you jump and arc your body a little.

“Words, doll.”

“Y-Yes!” you manage to finally speak out, your body wiggling around close to his face eager for him to move. 

He doesn’t hesitate after your verbal consent, his tongue flicking out to taste you from your clit down to your entrance, drawing a cry of pleasure from your lips. He works you expertly, starting with his tongue sucking against your clit, then eating you out in your entrance. 

And holy fuck does he have you wrapped around his finger with these ministrations. You had heard rumors of him being good at oral sex from the women at the events you would accompany him to, but fuck, the actual thing doesn’t compare to their mere descriptions.

His tongue soon returns to nibble and suck at your aching bud, with his fingers replacing his place inside you. And before you know it, you’re lost in the sensation again, body jerking as every nerve ending is set aflame as he brings you closer and closer to the edge.

And Agust D knows it, smirking against your pussy as he feels you tighten against his fingers. “Come for me,” he growls against your skin, his voice a command that you can’t resist.

With a final, shuddering gasp, you fall apart, the pleasure crashing over you in waves. He holds you through it, his hands and mouth coaxing every last bit of ecstasy from your body until you’re left trembling and spent beneath him.

He pulls back, his eyes dark with satisfaction as he watches you recover. “Such a fucking good girl,” he murmurs, his voice filled with pride. “But we’re not done.” 

He stands up and swiftly pulls down his pants and boxers, revealing his cock, red and eager. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight, your mind racing.

Oh? Is he going to put it in?!

“Huh? W-Wait you–”

Before you can finish speaking, he puts your legs on his shoulder and aligns himself to your entrance, his eyes locking with yours. The heat and intensity of his gaze make your heart race.

“You’re on birth control, correct?”

“Yes…”

You’d be surprised that he knows this fact, but he does look over your medical records after all. You’d also question the ethics of this, but not now.

“Then we can go all out,” he whispers, his voice rough with desire. “And I’ll show you that you’re truly mine.”

He pushes into you, his cock stretching and filling you completely.

“F-Fuck!” You gasp, the sensation is overwhelming, fueled with pleasure and pain that leaves you breathless. He pauses movements for a moment, allowing you to adjust, his hands gripping your hips tightly.

Your eyes close as you try to focus on relaxing your body.

“Look at me,” he commands suddenly, his voice low and firm as he holds your chin. “I want to see your face when I take you.”

“Y-Yes, sir!” You meet his gaze, your eyes wide with a mix of fear and excitement. There’s a primal hunger in his eyes that sends a shiver down your spine.

He begins to move, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first, each one sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. You cling to him, your nails digging into his shoulders as you try to keep up with the intensity of his pace. The feeling of him inside you is overwhelming and does not compare to his or your own fingers pleasuring you.

“Do you feel that?” he asks, his voice a rough whisper. “Do you feel how your pussy is being molded by my cock?”

“Y-Yes!” you manage to gasp, your voice trembling. “I feel it!”

“Good,” he says, his thrusts becoming faster, more intense. “Because you won’t ever be able to be pleased by another cock as long as I live,”

His movements are relentless, each thrust driving you closer to the edge. The room is filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure, the slap of skin against skin, and the ragged gasps and moans that escape your lips. 

As your eyes meet his, he suddenly wraps his hand around your neck, applying just enough pressure to make you gasp. His grip is firm but not painful, sending a rush of adrenaline and arousal coursing through your veins.

“Doll, you like being choked while I fuck you? Having you wrapped around my fingers now.”

“F-Feels so mmh good!” You mumble, your breath hitching as his grip tightens slightly, the sensation heightening the pleasure coursing through your body.

You never thought you’d be so turned on by choking. You don’t know if it’s you getting high off the lack of oxygen and feeling pleasure, or giving up your life’s control to this man before you that has your toes curling.

The pleasure builds up to an unbearable peak once more, but this time, you know that he is feeling the same thing too. His thrusts become harder, more forceful, each one sending shockwaves through your body. His hand on your neck adds an edge to the sensation od dominance and possessiveness that leaves you breathless.

“Come for me, doll,” he growls, his voice a command that you can’t ignore. “I want to feel you come around me as I do at the same time.”

With a final, shuddering cry, your orgasm crashes down, your body convulsing in pleasure. He follows you soon after, his grip on your hips tightening as he spills into you, his own release mingling with yours. The intensity of the moment leaves you both breathless, clinging to each other as the aftershocks of pleasure ripple through your bodies.

He pulls back slightly, his eyes dark and satisfied as he looks down at you with a smile that exposes his gums. He lays down next to you and pulls you into his arms, his lips finding yours in a tender, possessive kiss. 

“You’re mine,” he whispers against your lips, the words a promise and a declaration.

“You’re mine,” he repeats. “I’ll never let you leave.”

At that moment, as you lie there in his arms, you realize that maybe, just maybe, you don’t want him to. The world outside may be complicated and uncertain, but here, with him, everything feels right.

This is your home.

All you want is for this man to be infatuated with you for the rest of your life.

This is how things should be. Right?

–

– tbc?

✨ let me know ur thoughts! how are you feeling?! ✉️

[hellbornsworld]

Jungkook Fanfic Recommendations(7)₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

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☆ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲 | Tattoo artist/Piercer Jungkook X Pastel!Reader | @bonny-kookoo

☆ Mugs & Kisses | Jungkook x Reader | Barista Au | Oneshot | @minisugakoobies

☆ simply meant to be | pumpkin king!jungkook x fem reader | OneShot | @caelesjjk

☆ beside you | idol!jungkook x gf!reader | Oneshot | @nochukoo97

☆ Fragment of the Past | patient!jungkook x psychiatrist!reader | thriller & yandere au | Series | @ctrlsht

☆ burnout | basketball player!jungkook x student journalist!fem!reader | Yandere | @aikastales

☆ 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐬 | Vampire! Jeon Jungkook X Human! (F) Reader | OneShot | @angllicjk

☆ angel in the marble | michelangelo!jungkook x servant!reader | high renaissance au | OneShot | @venusjeon

☆ love à trois | jungkook x fem!reader x jimin | Side: Jimin X Reader | @letjungcoook7

☆ you're losing me | jungkook x reader | Married Couple | @sparklingchim

☆ part time lover | investigative journalist!jeongguk x daycare teacher!reader | Oneshot | @sketchguk

☆ STILL DON'T KNOW MY NAME | Jungkook x fem!reader | Series | @hoseokieswrld

☆ cherry bomb | jungkook x fem reader | Oneshot | @retrievablememories

☆ your cursed thoughts | jungkook x reader | Halloween AU | Series | @smaubts

☆ UNWANTED | King/brother Jungkook × slave/older sister YN | @kangmoon27

☆ the seventh life | vampire!Jungkook x female!reader | @folkookie97

☆ champagne confetti | heartthrob!jk x fashion employee f!reader | @pennyellee

☆ Horizon | Angel!Jungkook x Reader | Two shot | @sokooks

☆ Whose idea was it, though? | Jungkook X Reader | @astayinwonderland

☆ First Prize | Boxer!Jungkook X Reader | Oneshot | @tsukisrants

☆ TERRITORIAL | yandere!Jungkook x Yandere Yn | Oneshot | @kangmoon27

☆ Movie Night | Jungkook x fem!reader | Yandere!JK X Reader | OneShot | @taevbears

☆ tethered. | emo!jk x reader | Series | @13lov

☆ gotcha | jungkook x reader | ChildhoodFriend Au | Oneshot | @whatifyoulivelikethat

☆ mate | alpha!jungkook x omega!reader | Series | @7deadlysinsfics

☆ 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 | Aged up!Jungkook X Younger!Reader | Series | @bonny-kookoo

☆ Slithered | Mafia Jungkook x Fem!Reader | Series | @bts-0t-7

☆ Self-Care Sunday | NailTech!Jungkook x Fem!Reader | One-Shot | @shina913

☆ animal farm. | Jungkook X Reader | OneShot | @joonberriess

☆ November Sun | Jungkook x reader | OneShot | @oddinary4bts

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Jungkook Recommendation Masterlist

[seoul-bros]

Maybe I am feeling pessimistic but it seems to me that all the external efforts to bring down BTS are no match for the shitstorm going on in our fandom space right now. I'd love someone to set me straight and maybe I shouldn't surf TwiX on the daily but when I see good news about members being weaponised to further fragment the fandom it makes me see that 2026 promised reunion move further and further down the road. Maybe that is what some people want to see, so wrapped up in their bias's solo success that the big picture is lost, but for me personally, BTS the group and all its members with their unique dynamics is where the real magic happens. It's the alchemy of circumstance that comes along once in a lifetime and it really irks me that people can be so cavalier with what they purport to hold so dear.

Post Date: 27/04/2025

[perfectlyoongi]

WHEN THEY LOVE YOU THE MOST

ㅤ⚘.fandom ... bts. ㅤㅤಇ.ft. ... jin, jimin, taehyung, jungkook x gn!reader. ㅤ⚘.genre ... headcanons. ㅤㅤಇ.content ... fluff. ㅤㅤಇ.word count ... ~330 each / 1.3k total.

↬┊JIN

after long days of fighting and several hours of communication, at the end of forced smiles and impromptu conversations, between your home and the world, Jin loved you the most when you were tired.

it was when the world was most challenging that Jin found little details about you to love: the way your eyes almost close when you laugh, the way you always stretch your back before taking a deep breath, the way you always manage to find gentle words amidst the chaos in this world. at all times, you were beautiful.

but it was when you arrived home defeated that Jin loved you the most.

he could see on your face your silent plea for affection; he could see in your dragging feet your silent request for a massage; Jin could see in you that it was at that moment that you needed the most love. and he would give it to you. without ever thinking twice, always so helpful and ready, Jin loved you. simply that.

on the most tiring days, when it seemed like the world was taking over you, Jin would take you in his arms and show you that with him you would always have a safe haven. close your eyes. rests. relax. let Jin’s gentle touch take you to lands of tranquility. let Jin’s sweet voice guide you along the most serene paths. let Jin love you.

it didn't matter the day or Jin’s state: he could be tired, totally defeated after a long day of working, he could have just arrived from a long trip, there was no excuse for Jin not to love you. he made you a priority every day. your well-being was equivalent to Jin’s well-being.

so every day, when he knew you weren’t well and needed a quiet moment in the comfort of the one you loved, Jin would love you until you felt like yourself once again.

↬┊JIMIN

among the most graceful blues and the most comforting oranges, amidst all the hopeful yellows and beyond the most addictive purples, Jimin loved you the most when the entire world glowed with the most intense colors and nature played the most ethereal symphony in all the cosmos.

it was when the world shined brightest that Jimin loved you the most.

perhaps because Jimin retains in his heart all the fragments of celestial particles from the various ancient constellations that contained stories of endless lovers; perhaps the entire cosmos had sprinkled Jimin's soul with the immortal love of the oldest and most faithful gods; perhaps because you were framed by the magic sprinkled by the stars that painted you in fascinating golden and tender glowing tones; or perhaps because Jimin simply loved you and all this emotion was only heightened when the days were more colorful and life was more beautiful.

but what if you were the one who gave beauty to life? would that be possible?

in fact, Jimin couldn't think about his last grey day. when was the last time the turbulent clouds of the world's negativity hung over Jimin? when was the last time Jimin felt the need to grab all the crayons and color his life? he had no answer to such questions; for, it was since you entered Jimin's life that he saw his heart and soul being constantly painted in tones of affection and understanding.

yes. you were the one who gave beauty to life. it was you who painted Jimin's life and it was in the colors of your love and the contours of your passion that Jimin found all the happiness in his life. yes. Jimin loved you the most when life was more beautiful, because it was when he thought about the beauty of the world that he realized that all charm only existed because of you.

you, the cause of all the harmony in Jimin's life. you, the painter of Jimin's soul. you, the one Jimin loved the most.

↬┊TAEHYUNG

when the world seemed too big and all the storms were concentrated in one point, and all the darkness in the universe expanded beyond Taehyung's heart, and all the negativity in the world weighed heavily on his shoulders, Taehyung loved you the most when all the horror of a future and the fear of a past haunted his essence.

like a thick cloud hovering over him, Taehyung felt constantly defeated, as if life itself had given up on him and offered him only remnants of fragments of hope and dreams that didn't even seem real, not when felt and lived by Taehyung. and it was in those moments that Taehyung loved you the most.

fearing that his darkness would expand like a thick fog on winter days, Taehyung decided to love you, wanting to use the remaining fragments in every word exchanged, in every delicate touch; as if opening a window to let all the evil fly away, Taehyung loved you when he was most fearful about you, about his life.

in so much chaos, there was only one certainty. in so much chaos, there was only you.

and it was you that Taehyung had decided to love. and you were the one who brought the glue to put together all the leftover fragments into new hopes and dreams.

when Taehyung was scared, he knew he could love you, because it was in the waves of your love, in the clouds of your affection that he found his safe place, that haven of shelter that was always, and forever, there waiting for Taehyung. simply you. what evil could touch Taehyung when he was protected by the kindness of your heart? what darkness could consume Taehyung if he was enveloped in the light of your essence? what bad luck could strike Taehyung when he was with you, when he was loved by you.

and he just reciprocated. when the world got scarier, Taehyung returned all the love you gave him, always offering more than he could.

↬┊JUNGKOOK

among the smiles of thousands and the dreams of hundreds, amid so many promises and stories, in the refuge of various memories and details, Jungkook loved you the most when he believed.

it was when hope began to dawn on Jungkook that he could love you more. when Jungkook was consumed by that feeling so pure, so intense, only one goal moved Jungkook’s entire body: taking you in his arms, leaving the whole world silent for a few moments, Jungkook loved you.

it was the magic of possibilities, the complex spells of stories that could happen, the delicate dust of memories that could be fabricated — it was the idea of a future that made Jungkook love you more.

Jungkook knew from a very early time that it was you: the way your hearts beat in sync at the end of a date, the way your hands fit together perfectly, the way he only felt like himself by your side — you brought out the best in Jungkook, qualities and flaws that he learned to love because, quite simply, you loved them.

and Jungkook was sure it would always be you. that person who would wake up next to him when he was old and the music was too loud; that person who would hold his hand when the sun said goodbye to the day and tranquility stretched across the horizon.

in every way, you were always the one by Jungkook’s side in every future he could think of. and it was imagining these futures, creating plans for an eternal life by your side that he loved you most.

when Jungkook’s eyes shone most intensely, when his lips uttered the sweetest words, when his hands caressed you with grace — it was in the privacy of your home that Jungkook loved you the most, because it was there that he believed in a true love, in an eternal love that would go far beyond that physical life.

ㅤㅤ♡ feedback is appreciated ♡

[pennyellee]

CHAPTER VI - súton

LACRIMOSA | MYG MAFIA YANDERE AU

pairings: mafia leader!yoongi x f!reader genre: mafia!au, yandere au, historical au

summary: Their interlocking gaze served as a butterfly effect on his heart, stirring it to the core. She, in turn, only dreams to find a way to escape. But perchance, over time she might forcefully learn to love the man who has taken so much from her.

Thus unfolds a twisted tale of love and loss, of hope and despair, of life and death. The music reverberated through the dimly-lit streets. Tears of sorrow, weeping symphony - reflects the hurt, the scars that linger deep within and the wounds that never healed. Lacrimosa.

chapter warnings: minors dni 18+ | mafia au, dark!yoongi, mafia!yoongi, yandere, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behaviour, angst, mentions of God, mentions of alcohol, manhandling, mentions of murder, gun use, abduction, attempted non-con, gaslighting, vomiting, anxiety, choking, decapitation, strong language, smut, loss of virginity

beta read by @chaoticpuff17

word count: 11,1K

disclaimer: this story is purely fictional, it does not depict real-life events or involve any actual members of BTS. This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking, illegal activities, old social norms and traditions, which we do not condone.

m.list CHAPTER I CHAPTER II CHAPTER III CHAPTER IV CHAPTER V CHAPTER VII

súton (n.) twilight; the approach of death or the end of something

Images flashed through her mind like fragments of a dream, mixing reality with a disorienting haze. Y/N’s heart pounded in her chest as she braced herself for what was to come. She was still in her temporary private quarters. Was it all just a dream? Confusion ran through Y/N like the hot blood inside her veins.

The engine of the roaring car pierced her ears and her vision was still blurry. “Where am I?” she whispered, her voice slowly progressing to realise the situation. She grabbed the letter seat, trying to pull herself up.

“Chan-yeol?” she asked, pressured.

“Little bird, are you ready to fly away?” he laughed. Y/N looked at him with terror in her pupils.

“Are you out of your mind? You just signed your own death certificate Chan-yeol!” This is bad. Her thoughts spoke to her in distress, each and one of them telling her to do something.

“What, a sudden change of heart? Did you not want me to ship you off to the new land?” said the man, accelerating the car.

“He’s going to slaughter everyone!” she screamed.

“You did not think of that when you ran the last time or the time before, why now Y/N?” He spitted his words out, looking at her through the mirror. Y/N took a deep breath, trying to collect herself before she would lose her mind for good.

“He has the whole family on a silver platter there Chan-yeol! Turn the car right now!”

“We’re almost there.” He declared. 

“Yoongi?!” was the first name that came to her mind. Voice full of fear. The sound of urgent footsteps echoed around her, crescendoing with the abrupt swing of the door. However, the one she sought, the man whose name she called, was not in her sight.

“Namjoon?” she called out, the surprise evident in her voice, interwoven with a thread of relief.

“How do you feel?” He asked, slowly approaching her petite form.

“What— I don’t understand,” she struggled to articulate her bewildered thoughts.

“You’ll thank me later.”

Chan-yeol’s words cut through the frosty air. He steered the car to the side of the road. Snow was everywhere she could see, each surface draped in ethereal white. Without waiting for the vehicle to come to a complete halt, Y/N flung the car door open, her steps bold as she ventured out into the wilderness.

The direction from which they arrived became a backdrop as she briskly distanced herself from Chan-yeol’s presence.

“This might be your last chance to flee this wicked world, girl.” His voice, heightened in intensity, reached her ears. Y/N stopped in tracks — the ultimatum clear.

Her family on one side, her newfound reality on the other – a choice lay before her.

“You have no idea what you just did!” she screamed defiantly, she refused to spare him a glance. “You’ve ruined everything!”

“Y/N?” a different voice echoed and her eyes widened at the unexpected interruption.

“I did not, Namjoon. I did not try to run away. You have to believe me!” Her words tumbled out in a frantic attempt to convey her innocence. Namjoon, his touch gentle, enveloped her small hands in his.

“Shhh… I know, it’s alright.” Namjoon cooed at the bride. And that’s when every single picture came back to her mind.

“How—how did you get here, for the love of God?” Y/N pivoted towards the speaking man, memories of their shared past flooding back as if the study hall of Shenyang’s University was just yesterday.

“I came for you,” he declared.

“For me?” She asked, disbelief in her voice.

“For me?!” she repeated, a frustrated laugh bubbling up. “Now you’re coming for me.” Y/N recalled the day he declared that she was in this battle alone, a stark contrast to their current proximity. They were never that close, he was too afraid to even hold her hand or maintain prolonged eye contact. But she considered him to be a friend, nonetheless.

“I love you,” he confessed, staring directly into her eyes.

“You love me?” She asked, mocking him, a bitter edge to her tone.

“Where was this love when I needed to run the hell out of the continent, huh?” She closed the distance between them, pushing him with aggressive force.

“You're a coward, Han Chen,” she spat, the venom in her voice cutting through the tension.

“I have a plan, Y/N,” he replied, brushing off her words even as they stung.

“Hmm… you have a plan. And what is this plan exactly?”

“He won’t want you if you’re ruined, Y/N.”

His words hit her like a cold gust of wind, and she gasped at the implications.

The haunting melody of that familiar song resonated in her mind once again.

“He—he attempted to rape me.” Y/N looked through her teary eyes directly at Namjoon's, whose mimics told her, she is right.

“He paid for that with his life.”

“You’re going to kill us all!” Her words became the truth once the first bullet was fired, finding its mark in Chen’s head. Y/N witnessed his eyes blackening, a vacancy replacing the spark of life. 

He was gone. Blood dripped down his neck, staining her chest, her breath hitching as her vision blurred. Chan-yeol swore and fumbled with his gun, leaving Y/N to crumple to the ground, as he was tightly holding her down for the devil’s messenger to do the unforgivable.

Her eyes narrowed at the white sky. Chen’s lifeless body collapsing onto her smaller frame. Y/N’s hands trembled as she mustered the strength to slowly push his corpse away.

“Are you alright?” she heard him before she saw him above her.

“What about the wedding?” she asked, curiosity mingling with the shock that gripped her.

“We’ll proceed—” he answered, addressing yet another of her fears.

Speech and vision eluded her. “Y/N?” he asked again, gently throwing Chen’s lifeless body off her. “Darling, please say something.” His concern was palpable.

“Let me go, you fuckers!” Chan-yeol’s enraged screams echoed nearby. He hadn’t made a clean escape after all.

Hoseok helped her sit. Y/N’s eyes mirrored the emptiness that had claimed Chen’s.

“Darling?” Hoseok urged, attempting to coax her back to the present.

“—and hold a trial tomorrow.”

“Trail?” she asked, her voice fragile.

“Chan-yeol was a part of our clan. He is a traitor, and we’ll treat him as such.”

“And what about—”

She cast one more glance at Chen’s lifeless form before shifting her attention to Chan-yeol, struggling on the ground, surrounded by Min soldiers from whom she only recognised Jungkook.

“I want to go back, Hoseok-ssi. Please take me back.” Her voice wavered. Hoseok breathed out, relieved, helping her stand. As she turned to look at Chan-yeol, his screams pierced the air.

“Don’t look that way, sweetie,” Hoseok intervened, guiding her away from the chaotic scene. Only when they reached the parked cars, a good half a mile away from the unfolding drama, did she exhale and allow herself to close her eyes.

“Yoongi is beyond pissed. We could have avoided this if you would tell him about that foolish boy.”

“I swear, Namjoon, we were not... we did not—” she stammered.

“—I did not know he would come look for me nor do that….”

“Do not tell that to me, princess,” he sighed.

“I need you to get dressed. We have already postponed it, and we cannot do it any longer.”

“Sure,” were her only words to him.

“She called for you, brother,” the right-hand man spoke as he entered the boss’s office, where Yoongi was finally getting ready for the wedding.

“Explain,” the young groom responded while fixing his tux in front of the mirror.

“She called your name when she woke up.”

“Did she?” Yoongi felt a spark of hope that he would indeed become her person, her lover, her everything, just as she was to him.

The right-hand man chuckled at his questioning response, knowing it warmed Yoongi’s heart.

“Damn this one tradition; you should go and see her.”

“I would, but that would ruin the thrill, wouldn’t it, hmm,” he hummed.

“You’re getting married, brother.”

“Yes, today I’m getting married, and tomorrow I have to deal with a man who kidnapped my woman and let the other fucker almost rape her,” Yoongi spat, hitting the wall next to the mirror. He never felt greater anxiety than when Xiaoli said she was taken away from him. How ironic that he is to be the one who feels anxious.

Her mother crying, father screaming at everyone, younger sister praying. Yoongi had a feeling that she would not be that stupid to run away when he had her family inside the hotel.

“Nothing else will go wrong.”

“Did you greet the Yamamotos?” The Yakuza clan was invited to the wedding, a bold move, and what was even bolder—they accepted and arrived.

“I surely did, brother,” said Namjoon.

“Good,” Yoongi smirked, not expecting what is yet to come.

“Everything is as it should be.”

“I don’t want Y/N’s father near her until the wedding, Jungkook-ah,” requested Yoongi from the passive listener, seated just a few meters away on the sofa, sipping on his glass of white liquor.

“As you wish, Hyung,” he put the glass down and stood up, fixing his tux and putting on his white hat.

“And for fuck’s sake, patch those knuckles, aight?” Yoongi screamed playfully after him.

The temple, a sanctuary of weary souls, stood solemnly bearing witness to the union unfolding within its hallowed walls.

The bride, adorned in a crimson hanfu dress, with beautiful shining golden details on her long sleeves, walked the creaking wooden path towards the temple’s entrance, her steps heavy with the knowledge of what is awaiting her. The rich fabric of her dress billowed like a blood-red sea, a stark contrast to the pallor of her face that concealed emotions that dared not surface.

The courtyard was adorned with bright red and white paper lanterns when she passed it. She did not dare to look around at all the noble underground hats who had gathered to witness the union of two syndicates.

The flickering candles cast eerie, dancing shadows upon the ancient murals depicting forgotten legends. The distant sounds of the city, with its bustling streets and restless souls, provided a haunting contrast to the stillness of this timeless ceremony. The soft strains of the gayageum and the rhythmic beats of the janggu filled the air.

At the temple’s altar, the groom, equally somber in attire, awaited the bride. His eyes, like deep pools, hinted at the secrets he carried, secrets buried beneath, he wished to share with her.

The chants of the officiating monk resonated through the temple; a haunting reminder of the spiritual solace sought amidst the chaos of the outside world. Their union was a flicker of defiance against the oppressive forces that sought to extinguish the spirit of a nation. She was not initially meant to be his, fate seemed to have favoured him, and Yoongi thanked the almighty for bringing her to him.

Y/N dared not look at him, her breath unsteady, visible puffs in the cold air. The gal held her head high nonetheless, she was desperately trying not to give in to her intrusive thoughts and turn around, flee for her life, try one last time.

The gun pressed to Daiyu’s back served as a grim reminder, preventing her from succumbing to intrusive thoughts. She could see the tears that were in her eyes as she held tightly her little son. Chan-yeol, held captive and beaten for sins he performed.

The eyes of the guests felt heavy, especially her father’s, still unamused by the young leader’s audacity, keeping his hand tightly on his neck. Forbidden from seeing his own daughter before the ceremony, he seethed with anger, his frustration directed at the young Kkangpae.

Y/N’s heartbeat echoed loudly as she climbed the stairs to stand face-to-face with Yoongi, trying to find the courage to look at him. His eyes were full of expectations, he was waiting for this moment.

The exchange of bows signified respect and commitment. If this would be a traditional wedding, not minding their social status in the syndicates, they would continue with drinking rice wine sikhye, symbolizing the blending of their lives.

But this was not a common wedding. This ceremony was different. Altered by the traditions of the Min Clan. The moment arrived when Y/N extended her palm to take the knife from Yoongi’s hands. A cup of rice wine awaited underneath, capturing every drop of her blood. Their union, a pledge of loyalty through soul, blood, and mind.

Y/N met Yoongi’s eyes as she applied pressure to the hand holding the knife, slicing through his skin. A sadistic flicker seemed to pass through his eyes, as if he was enjoying the pain she was inflicting on him.

The rice wine now mixed with their blood and the heavy silence was driving Y/N mad.

The young Kkangpae lifted the cup to her lips, her eyes locked with Yoongi’s. Observing his actions closely, she followed suit, and he took a far bigger sip than her, almost devouring it all.

Setting the cup down they both extended their wounded hands. The golden wedding band that Yoongi slipped onto her finger, seemed to match her engagement ring that sat before it, closer to her knuckle. Y/N couldn’t stop looking at her hand. This was an explicit symbol of her being a taken woman now. No one else to touch, to have, and in their world — to own.

“Darling,” Yoongi whispered quietly, but still managed to keep the demand in his tone visible. Y/N shook her head to get herself to think straight again, realising she had lingered too long on the rings, delaying the public ceremony’s final step.

Huffing out collected air, she slipped the wedding band onto Yoongi’s finger, uniting them.

The monk placed a thick crimson ribbon over their hands, proclaiming them man and wife. No vows echoed like in the far west, no intimate encounters within the public ceremony, despite Yoongi’s yearning to press his lips against hers.

Y/N knew very well that her father scoffed and cursed at the young leader yet again for choosing to follow his wedding traditions and not theirs. And ultimately, there was no paying respect to the elders.

Kkangpae does not bow down to anyone. Nor will his new bride.

Y/N was especially glad she does not have to do that nor the tea ceremony she always found dull. Not that she particularly enjoyed being controlled and swept by the demands of Yoongi’s clan.

The monk’s chants grew louder again, filling the temple with an eerie resonance. Y/N and Yoongi turned to face the gathered members of their syndicates, their families, and the underworld elite who had come to witness this union.

The banquet that followed was a lavish affair as is fit for the Min clan. The tables groaned under the weight of sumptuous dishes, and the air filled with the tantalizing aroma of delicacies prepared by the finest chefs. Nonetheless, Y/N could sense the atmosphere that was charged with tension. As if everyone was prepared to cast guns and kill each other.

Y/N felt the weight of her father’s glare before she could see him eye to eye. Her mimicry has shown nothing more but pure disgust when Wang Zemo shook the scarred leader’s hand congratulating them on their marriage. Y/N did not trust her father. His judgment was always clouded by power.

“You do not seem pleased, father,” Y/N remarked, exposing him. Her mother nervously laughed, hoping to prevent a disturbance between the two clans. She eyed him, expecting an answer from him.

“I’m not pleased that your husband allowed you to be kidnapped,” he retorted, making Yoongi squeeze Y/N’s hip, a possessive gesture.

“But he aided a rescue team in no time, daddy. Meanwhile, you could not even keep me at home,” Y/N fired back, laughing in her father’s face, not believing her own words defended the young Kkangpae that was now amusingly smirking next to her. She could see how her father’s brows furrowed and eyes narrowed, fuming at his daughter. Y/N can do that now, she does not owe her father loyalty anymore.

Her mother stopped him before he could raise his hand causing commotion within the two clans, instead he lifted his free arm pointing a warning finger at her. Y/N smiled sweetly and watched her mother pull his arm until he walked with her. Only when he was far away did she ask her new husband.

“Did he give you trouble when you asked for Xiaoli’s hand in marriage on behalf of Taehyung?” The young leader only hummed in response, his eyes were focused on something different from her now, and Y/N could not help but turn her head in the same direction as he was looking.

What unsettled her the most was the presence of Yamamotos. Yoongi nor anyone did not mention single tweet about these poisonous guests. Therefore, she felt her stomach rotate when they were approaching and for the first time in forever, Y/N pressed herself closer to Yoongi, intertwining their fingers together.

Of course, she feared them. She always viewed her father’s tactics and measures quite cruel. But if Wang Zemo was cruel than Yamamoto was brutal. And it was only natural to fear such a brutal syndicate as Yakuza.

“Congratulations, Min,” said the older male in Japanese. He did not bother to speak the tongue of his enemy’s territory, but he knew they would understand perfectly. The man had such a strong and intense aura around him. He ruled with fear, that thing was obvious.

He held his hand to Yoongi who accepted it for both your and his behalf, shaking it with firm grip, piercing his eyes alongside.

“You got yourself a fine woman, Min, —” he leered at Y/N, his gaze filled with hunger. A wave of disgust washed over her.

“She has caused you quite a bit of trouble, has she not?” he continued, finishing his remark. Y/N understood that their marriage was a calculated move that would redefine the power dynamics within the criminal underworld. Whether Yamamoto perceived the Mins as a threat remained an assumption on her part.

“Not as much trouble as you sending that foolish boy to his death,” Yoongi added, causing Y/N’s breath to hitch. Slowly, her eyes lifted to Yoongi, whose gaze now held an intensity that made the scar glow with anger. Y/N did not understand any bit of it. Had he not come willingly? No, that simply cannot be, there had to be an ulterior motive to commit such a sin.

“Certainly, we knew you would handle him and your bride just as you saw fit.”

“Surely, —” Yoongi replied with a dark undertone and a sinister smile. A wave of nausea rolled through Y/N. If they lingered in the presence of the Japanese Yakuza any longer, she might empty her stomach right there. Thankfully, they bid a seemingly cordial farewell, leaving to take their seats behind the tables and Y/N could at least breathe out.

“Yoongi—” she began once they were out of earshot. He cast her a brief glance before pivoting to examine her, noting her even paler face.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” she stumbled the words out of her system fast. Y/N released Yoongi’s hand to cover her mouth.

“Oh God,” her sister’s whisper reached her ears, a reminder of their public setting, alerting her that she is still in public, and the eyes will pry.

Y/N swiftly walked — not ran, to avoid drawing attention — towards the nearest door leading outside to the cold. Once in the cold air again, she emptied her stomach.

“It’s okay,” Y/N heard her sister’s voice yet again, just before her hands were soothingly rubbing her back. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe the cold air in. She was grateful it was her sister offering comfort, not the groom. At least Xiaoli realized that Y/N wouldn’t want Yoongi to see her now. Nor any other prying eyes.

“It’s not okay, Xiaoli,” said Y/N through tears, feeling a profound, heart-wrenching anxiety and fear settling in her core.

“They fucking sent him to rape me, and God knows what else.”

“And he did not manage to do that. Hoseok took care of that. Jungkook took care of that, —”

Y/N recalled, her mind flashing to Jungkook storming into her room, his concern evident as he bombarded her with questions about her well-being. Guilt weighed on him for getting entangled with Chan-yeol instead of going straight to her. As her new brother, he felt an obligation to protect her, just like Hoseok, who would go to any lengths for her.

And that leaves Y/N to wonder. She pondered the sincerity behind their sympathy. Was it because of her supposed relationship with their brother, or was there a genuine connection forming? For a fleeting moment, she wondered if her aunt sensed the potential for them to become family, to be her home.

“—Leader Min will see to it that he is brought to justice,” Xiaoli continued, always sure to express her love for Yoongi.

Y/N looked down at her stained dress with a sense of pity, both for herself and the situation. A deep sense of sadness remained.

“I just wish it did not have to be this way,” she confessed, her voice filled with sorrow. “I wish I could have chosen this path for myself, rather than having it forced upon me.”

“But this is not the world or lifetime where you could do that,” her sister replied, and for a brief moment, Y/N felt a glimmer of understanding.

“I know,” she whispered quietly. “He used to be my friend; you know. Despite what he did, I never thought he would die in front of my eyes, —” her words held honesty, tinged with something else.

“And I never thought that I would be relieved they came in time and shot him dead, Xiaoli,” Y/N admitted, finally getting it off her chest.

“Taehyung-oppa said they paid him to do it.” Xiaoli disclosed. Y/N dreaded this scenario; she suspected that Chen did not act out of love for her. No one who loved someone would commit such a horrendous act.

Y/N scoffed, a desperate laugh escaping her. “Do you know what will happen to Chan-yeol?” She hadn’t had the chance to discuss this with Yoongi, leaving her in the dark and feeling consumed by it.

“He is held captive. That is all I know,” Xiaoli replied while helping Y/N stand. She needed to change her dress; there was no way she could return in this state.

“Y/N?” Xiaoli asked. Her older sister only hummed in response.

“If you attempt to run ever again, Daiyu is going to die—” Y/N paused for a moment.

“—He won’t hurt me, I’ll be betrothed to Taehyung-oppa. But Daiyu is still in the open.”

“Did you talk to her?” She asked.

“No,” Xiaoli replied, “but I talked to Kkangpae Min. He confirmed his intentions.”

“And it did not move you one bit?” Said Y/N surprised with what degree of calmness her sister is speaking of this.

Yoongi wanted to make it abundantly clear that he would take drastic measures if she attempted to escape again. He wanted her to fear the consequences, to be consumed by the dread of what might happen if she defied him; deliberately informing Xiaoli, knowing the bond between the sisters was a weak point for Y/N.

“I would not dare to go against his word.” Y/N only smiled sadly at her sister’s words. She does not understand. How could she?

The way to her chamber felt endless. Y/N was acutely aware of her disheveled state and the need for privacy. Another set of footsteps behind her and Xiaoli quickened her heart with anxiety.

“Y/N?” The soothing voice of the doctor, Seokjin, reached her ears, and she could not have been more relieved. Without turning around, she responded.

“I just need to change. I’m fine, Seokjin.”

Y/N wasted no time in stepping inside her room once they finally reached it. Seokjin followed, his demeanour calm and professional, yet she sensed a hint of concern in his eyes.

As she began changing out of the crimson robe from the wedding ceremony, Y/N couldn’t deny the unease that lingered within her.

“You can tell him I will be back in a little while, Seokjin.” Y/N turned to Seokjin, offering a weak smile.

“Are you sure you are feeling well?” Seokjin nodded; his expression was gentle.

“It’s just the anxiety.” Said Y/N. Her face still bore the traces of tears and turmoil, but she resolved to face the celebration with as much grace as she could muster. She knew that in the world she inhabited, appearances were everything.

Seokjin stood by the door, waiting patiently. “I’ll change and come right away,” she promised to the older male.

“Very well,” he answered simply and closed the door behind him leaving her and Xiaoli alone.

The intricate layers of fabric and silk were carefully removed, revealing a simpler, yet equally elegant, hanfu beneath — this one was a shade of soft lavender.

“Do you want to wear the hanbok instead?” Xiaoli asked. Does she? Just this morning, she insisted that her wedding dress will be a representation of the culture she is coming from. Looking over at the beautiful crimson and royal blue hanbok that she was supposed to wear as her wedding dress, Y/N hesitated.

“I don’t feel like wearing a wedding dress anymore, Xiaoli.” Her sister nodded in understanding, but beneath her supportive gaze, there lingered a hint of disappointment. Xiaoli had hoped that Y/N would fully embrace the culture of the Min clan, a desire likely shared by the clan’s leader. However, Y/N’s desire was to stay true to her Chinese roots for a little bit longer. If this is the only way she can remain herself, she is willing to rebel against him as long as she can.

She heard her sister sigh as she handed her the crimson flowery qipao. “You could at least meet him in the middle.” Xiaoli muttered, her disappointment evident.

“Xiaoli, if you did not notice I’m having a really bad day today.” Y/N’s patience was wearing thin. She had endured enough turmoil for one day, and the idea of appeasing Yoongi’s wishes no longer held much appeal.

“I understand—” Xiaoli wanted to say before Y/N interrupted her with the welling tears in her eyes and raised voice.

“No, you do not understand, Xiaoli!” Said Y/N, sliding down to a lower cushion chair, hugging her head with her small hands.

“But you are not even trying, Y/N,” Xiaoli retorted.

“Because I’m gasping for air every single time! I’m drowning, and yet I cannot learn to swim—” she cried out, clutching the fabric of her hanfu to the point she feared it would tear.

“All of you are blindly trying to convince me that this is the best that could ever happen to me—” she continued.

“—like you’re some kind of Gods that shall decide one’s fate.”

Xiaoli sighed, her frustration and discomfort evident. “All we do is care for you, truly, madly, deeply.”

Y/N looked up, her eyes filled with a mixture of despair and defiance.

“Are you listening to yourself, sister?!” Y/N did not even give her a chance to answer.

“—We are family, by blood, Xiaoli, I thought you cared about me to be more than just a pawn—” this time Xiaoli interrupted her older sister.

“And because we are family, I am trying to protect what matters to all of us.” Xiaoli knelt beside her, trying to console Y/N.

“What about what matters to me?” Y/N retorted; her voice shaky. “What about my dreams, my choices? He took that from me.”

Xiaoli hesitated, choosing her words carefully. “We all have to make sacrifices. And I know that you will make the best out of this.”

Y/N looked at her sister, a mix of disbelief and sadness in her eyes. “Is this the price of my freedom?”

“If this was another life, you could have what you truly desire.” Said Xiaoli. Y/N wiped away her tears before she spoke.

“I won’t let—” Y/N inquired.

“The consequences will be severe.” Said Xiaoli before Y/N could utter her thought as if she knew what she wanted to say.

“Remember that before you will do anything.”

The distant strains of music and laughter reached their ears when Xiaoli opened the door, walking through it in the direction of the celebration. Y/N put on a mask of composure, her posture regal, and her expression neutral. She couldn’t let anyone see the turmoil within her. Tonight, she would play the role expected of her, all while strategizing her next moves in this complex and dangerous game.

“Min Buin?!” a voice called out, unfamiliar and tinged with a strange mixture of reverence and unease — it sent a shiver down her spine.

A man stood right in the middle of the hall behind her. He was dressed in a dark, tailored suit that exuded authority, a stark departure from the opulence of the occasion.

Y/N couldn’t help but wonder who this enigmatic figure was and why he had singled her out with that title,

“Min Buin?!” He repeated again. Y/N turned her head slightly to Xiaoli, now a few steps closer to the banquet, her expression wary.

“Who’s asking?” she demanded, a hint of protectiveness in her voice. The man did not seem to be perturbed by Y/N’s defensive stance. Instead, he offered a faint, cryptic smile.

“Do you not know?” His tone took a different direction. He stepped closer to them.

“Y/N,” Xiaoli gulped down, her voice trembling. “That is Yamamoto Itsuki.” By how her sister spoke Y/N understood that this is the very man she was supposed to marry.

“Go.” She whispered to her sister who did not hesitate to run down the corridor and alert anyone. Only once Y/N was sure that her sister was far away did she speak.

“What is your business with me?” Y/N asked, her voice steady despite the turmoil within her. The man’s smile widened slightly, revealing teeth that seemed unnaturally sharp in the dim light.

“Business?” He laughed. Y/N’s mind raced as she absorbed his words. She had been thrust into this world, initially a pawn in a dangerous game, but now it seemed that her role was evolving.

“I have unfinished business with you, yes.” He said after a few silent moments. Only her heavy breathing could be heard.

“I’m very much sure that a business between us never started in the first place; therefore, it seems to me we have nothing to talk about,” said Y/N, swiftly turning her body back to its original position, ready to flee to the banquet and seek help.

As she predicted, this day could only get worse as she found herself pinned to the nearest wall. Y/N could feel his breath on her face, a strong large hand enveloped her throat, pressing her to the wall harder and making it hard to breathe. Y/N’s breathing skipped intervals.

“You are one greedy ungrateful little bitch, are you not?” He spat the words into her face, squeezing her neck even tighter. Her hands automatically rose to his arm, trying to push him away. Her head started to spin, and she could feel the redness that rushed to her cheeks as she gasped for air that would fill her lungs.

“You were supposed to be mine!” His scream echoed in the empty corridor. Out of all the endings of her life, she truly did not foresee this one. There was a strike of a quick moment where she thought that death would be her redemption and eternal freedom she wished for. However, Y/N still had the will to fight for her life. She dug her nails into his arm, trying to push his hand away one more time, but he was too strong.

A click of a reloading gun seemed too muffled for her ears to notice, but when the sudden absence of pressure on her throat disappeared, and she could finally welcome the air in, she thanked God for being still in his favour.

Her knees have denounced their service, and she found herself on the ground. She went to touch her sore throat when a familiar hand did it before her. Y/N’s breath was still rocky, and she heard an annoying ringing in her ears. She barely could hear what Yoongi was screaming at the man who was recently near killing her.

“Y/N?” She heard Jimin’s voice, but she could not figure out where it was coming from. Her head was spinning like a carousel, and her vision was still a bit blurry. She wanted to speak up but she found it hard to do so.

“Can you breathe for me, darling?” She tried to stabilize her breathing but couldn’t stop panting for air.

“You have to try and calm down.” Seokjin was speaking to her, and by her blurry vision she saw another four figures around her. Two holding the younger Yamamoto for Yoongi, the other two attending to her.

Y/N went to try to speak again, even though she was fully aware that only high-pitched tones would come out that would make her words unrecognisable.

“I—” she tried, “I want—” she finally gulped down the little amount of saliva she had in her mouth.

“Bring her water right now.” Seokjin understood quickly. Her hearing was coming back to life and same for her vision. She could now see Jungkook and Hoseok dragging the man away from them, and Yoongi swiftly turning to examine the damage the man had done to his beloved.

By the time he fell down to his knees, cupping her cheeks, trying to read from her eyes, Jimin had returned with the water she needed. Yoongi helped her to hold the glass in both of her hands and drink it whole in one go.

“I do not want to stay here tonight,” she said with a raspy voice, feeling every muscle in her throat. Yoongi looked at her with worry in his eyes. He promised she would be safe with him, and within less than twelve hours, she was abducted, almost raped, and nearly choked to death.

“I am so sorry, baby,” said the young leader with remorse. “I am going to make it better, I promise.” Y/N’s ‘better’ however, contained something else than his ‘better’.

“We cannot leave right away—” tears escaped her eyes, falling heavy and hot on her dress. Yoongi was the Kkangpae and the enemy’s clan member just assaulted his wife. This cannot slip out without consequences.

“How dare you disrespect me and my wife this way,” said Yoongi to the older male from Yamamoto’s clan who had barely sat down in Yoongi’s office.

The younger offender, who had laid his hand on Y/N, was still firmly held by Hoseok and Jungkook. She sat in Yoongi’s office chair, a blanket draped over her shoulders, the purple bruises on her neck stark against her skin, certainly not flattering jewelry.

“How dare you disrespect our clan, Kkangpae Min.” The older male retorted, testing the younger leader’s patience. Yoongi clenched his hand into a fist, struggling to maintain control.

“This is far too unforgivable against what you assume I did,” he spat out quickly. Y/N wished she could just hide away and never come back, but as the Kkangpae’s wife, a Buin, she had to be present.

Yamamoto scoffed. “You are playing the game dirty, so are we—”

“Take this as a payback for meddling in our affairs, Kkangpae Min—” the older male started.

“And as far as traditions goes, she is yet to be your woman by our law and God’s will,” alluding to the inevitable — they had to consummate the marriage. Y/N knew this and had been making peace with the fact throughout the day.

“You won’t have to worry about that, Mr. Yamamoto,” Yoongi was always known for his cockiness whilst dealing with enemies, but he was also the most cautious man alive, however today was a misstep he did not wish to ever make. All this only proved he could not leave her alone — not because she might flee, but because someone could take her away from him. And he would never let her go.

“Watch me fucking continue meddling—” Yoongi retorted. “I see that you know the goddamn rules; I shall have his hand.” Y/N’s eyes widened in shock. She did not expect him to go unpunished for what he did to her, which would make Yoongi look unfit to rule. Itsuki started to squirm in their hold, attempting to break free.

“You want a war?” Yamamoto asked with venom in his voice.

“You apparently desire to have it when you assaulted my wife twice in one day.” Yoongi spat and signaled to Hoseok to bring Itsuki forward. Jungkook grabbed the hand that had been on Y/N’s neck less than an hour ago.

“Father!” Itsuki screamed with madness in his voice.

“Here you have it, you impatient imbecile!” his father screamed back at him, frustrated with both himself and his son. The plan had been to warn the Mins, not infuriate them.

Y/N watched Yoongi wordlessly as he took a short katana from Namjoon who appeared out of nowhere. The blade was sharp as a viper’s fang, and it gleamed in the dim light sourcing from the fireplace. The hilt, wrapped in silk, the colour of dried blood, felt cool and ominous in Yoongi’s hand.

She knew he’d have to swing it more than once to actually cut off Itsuki’s hand. Y/N gulped down her fear, pressing both hands to her mouth to stifle the scream that escaped when he first wielded the blade, piercing through Itsuki’s skin and colliding with bone, breaking it open. Burgundy blood streamed down to the wooden floor. Y/N clenched her eyes shut at the painful scream that followed and bounced slightly on the chair at the loud thump of the hand hitting the ground.

“You have one hour to leave our land,” Yoongi declared, aiming the katana at the leading Yamamoto. The son dropped to the ground, cradling his arm, staring at the severed hand and screaming in pain, muttering threats to the Min clan.

“You chose.” The older male looked over to Y/N who was still very much speechless and in utter shock from what occurred before her eyes. Yoongi’s gaze, momentarily lingering on his wife with furrowed brows, but quickly returned to Yamamoto. Their eyes locked, and the older man extended his hand to retrieve his injured son from the floor, leading him out of the room.

Yoongi dropped the katana onto the ground, tilting his head backwards in a brief prayer to the Lord. The room remained cloaked in heavy silence — not a peaceful silence, but one pregnant with the weight of a grim decision. A choice had been made, and its consequences were bound to unfold in darkness. This was a proclamation of war.

Y/N’s eyes remained fixed on the spot where Yamamoto’s hand was laying limp in a pool of fresh blood. As Yoongi straightened and turned his gaze toward her, his eyes were a tempest of conflicting emotions.

“You chose.”

Yoongi echoed Yamamoto’s words more as a question, his voice carrying a low, sombre resignation. He did not demand an answer; he knew what Yamamoto was talking about. Glancing down at his black shoes, now soaked with the blood of his enemy, Yoongi let out a soft laugh at the irony of her choosing him.

He understood the possibility that her choice might stem from self-preservation, realizing he could annihilate her entire family the moment she disappeared. Yet, his own selfishness shielded him from that harsh reality. Yoongi desperately wanted to believe that she returned to him and him alone.

Her eyes grew too heavy to stay open during the car ride back to the sanctuary. She allowed them a brief respite, letting the weight of exhaustion pull her into a momentary rest. The events of this day had been like a tempest, tearing through the delicate fabric of her reality and leaving chaos in its wake.

Y/N’s strength was something Yoongi admired, yet even he recognized the toll this day had taken on her. The hypocrite in him thinking that kind of evil will lead her to seek solace in him, perhaps finding that this was where she truly belonged — by his side.

She could have turned and run when the chance presented itself, disappearing into the wild. But she did not, and that is what mattered to Yoongi. For the first time, Y/N found herself yearning to return to the sanctuary, back to her golden cage.

Y/N knew that this night would be a reflection of the complexities of their relationship, a dance between desire and the darkness that surrounded them. Y/N understood that despite the arduous day, this had to be done. Bracing herself, she stepped out of the car and into the dark.

She walked slightly behind her now husband, letting him lead the way to the house she did not quite recognise. Before she mustered the courage to ask questions, he spoke first.

“I grew up in this house—” he whispered into the cold air, “a hot spring is right behind it.”

Y/N observed the house built into the massive stone walls of the valley, surrounded by tall pine trees. It was too dark for her to see just how tall they actually are, but the little flickering lights visible through the windows granted her a little peak.

“I want to spend tonight with you here,” he turned to face her. Yoongi could not tear his gaze away from her, adoring every detail—her eyes, cheeks, nose, hair, mouth. But if you would ask him, how did he come to be so obsessed with her, he would not give a cohesive answer. The inexplicable obsession he felt seemed right, like two puzzle pieces fitting together. He believed that even if she did not feel it now, she would eventually.

“Just the two of us.”

He took a little step to be closer to her. If Y/N understood correctly, this is the only place where they can be truly alone without prying eyes and ears. Yoongi wanted to talk and what’s more, he intended to do more than just talk tonight.

“Aight,” she replied slowly with her still sore throat. He had never seen her this calm, and he wanted to enjoy every minute she is not fighting against him — despite the disturbing circumstances that led to her current state of mind.

“Can we have some tea first?” she asked with little hope that he would agree to slow down a little bit. He chuckled at her sudden innocence and extended his arm to caress her cheek.

“Course we can, my love,” he smiled softly.

And so, they found themselves once again by the comforting embrace of a fireplace, patiently waiting for the tea to brew in the teapot’s gentle whistle.

There was something about this scenery that Yoongi could not help but love. Y/N, seated on the fur rug next to the warmth of the crackling flames, found solace in these quiet moments. After the tumultuous events of the day, it was a sanctuary they both needed. At least, she felt at peace in moments like these.

“I am sorry.” he suddenly confessed, his eyes revealing the genuine sorrow within. Today had left Yoongi conflicted, riding the highs of marrying the woman he desired while being weighed down by guilt for the day’s events.

Y/N met his gaze, her voice devoid of emotion as she calmly asked, “About what exact part?”

“All of it,” he shook his head. Y/N chuckled, and confusion flickered in Yoongi’s eyes.

“Are you not going to punish me, Kkangpae?” Here she goes.

“I do desire to know your relation to the boy, I won’t lie, but no.”

“There is no relation.”

“Are you sure? We talked about this already — no lies.”

“I’m not lying, he did fancy me, yes—” Yoongi’s grip on his hands tightened.

“—I thought we were friends, but he was not keen to flee away with me when I needed to,” she admitted.

“Do you mourn him?” Yoongi’s voice held a serious tone.

“I mourn the boy he was, not what he apparently became after we parted—” she began, carefully, collecting her thoughts.

“—they paid him to go and attempt rape me, Yoongi. I pray for his soul to find its peace after what sins he committed,” a tear escaped her eye, a sob followed. Yoongi leaned in, holding her small hands in an attempt to provide comfort.

“It was horrible,” she cried out and finally, she opened up to him.

“Amidst all the bad today, I’m so proud of you—” Y/N raised her blurry eyesight to meet him, awaiting an explanation.

“—You could have run, and you did not. You chose to come back to me.”

“I promise, I swear to you — I will never ever let that happen again—” he assured, moving closer to her.

She took a deep breath, summoning the courage to address the yet unspoken. “Can I get the letter, please?” Y/N whispered.

“In the morning.” He answered, intending to prolong it to ensure her continued good behaviour and obedience.

“Do we?-” She interrupted, praying for a change of his mind, though fully aware of the inevitability. He needed to ensure no loopholes in their marriage for others to exploit or for her to negotiate over. She knows this is mandatory.

“Yes, we do,” he acknowledged after some thought. Knowing what she had been through that day, he recognised the potential impact, but he also saw it as a way to fully claim her. It was a selfish desire, perhaps, but one he had long awaited. 

Yoongi longed to feel her skin to skin. It was indeed selfish, he knew that much. Some would say it is careless of him to demand such an intimate act to happen after all she has been through. But he wanted to show her that this is a part of their marriage she can truly enjoy. Yoongi wanted to give a final full stop to their relationship by solidifying the union rightfully, as the tradition goes.

The flickering flames of the fireplace danced in the dimly lit room, casting a warm glow upon Y/N and Yoongi. Consummating the marriage was a private but necessary measure.

His selfishness had not gone unnoticed by the syndicate elders, who questioned his insistence on not just any hotel room but the house where generations of memories had been created. He deliberately wanted to spend the night in the house he grew up in, where his father started a family, and his grandfather, and his grandfather and so on down the history line.

Yoongi, having lost his parents at a young age, yearned to start his own family. He wanted to witness the growth of his children, their marriages, and their own families.

Y/N knew this day would come, sooner or later, and as a young woman, she had learnt to protect herself from unplanned consequences. She understood his desire for a child, though he never explicitly discussed it with her. But she was far from being ready to surrender to the life fate had planned for her, not just yet.

Heaven had given her a sign, a slight hope when she found a particular herb in the garden before the first snow fell. Y/N had kept it discreet, asking the maid to dry the flowers and serve them as tea in the morning. Tonight, she was calm, knowing it could not happen, even if he wished otherwise.

Yoongi observed her hesitance, her eyes reflecting a mixture of fear and resilience. The room, with its walls that held generations of memories, seemed to echo with the weight of tradition and expectation. But as he reached out to touch her cheek gently, his eyes softened.

The sharp sound of a loud whistle from the tea kettle startled them both, tearing them out of the cocoon of their thoughts. The iron kettle hung gracefully over the open flame, steam rising in wisps as if trying to escape the weight of the night. Yoongi carefully prepared the tea, his movements deliberate and unhurried. The aroma of freshly brewed leaves filled the air. The porcelain teapot, an heirloom passed down through generations, sat patiently on the wooden small table that was next to them. As he poured the tea into delicate cups, he eyed her small physique yet again, searching for any signs.

She accepted the cup he offered her, the warmth seeping through the delicate porcelain. Her mind briefly paused when she recognised the familiar scent. She chuckled and Yoongi raised his eyebrows in surprise, awaiting her words. Y/N took a few careful sips from the cup, accepting what it offered.

“Are you afraid, Kkangpae?” She asked, taking another sip. Yoongi put his cup on the wooden table and looked directly in her eyes.

“Me? No,” he pointed at himself, hiding a smile.

“So why did you choose to make tea from Valerian root?” Her studies that surely included herbalism had escaped Yoongi’s mind.

“I knew this night would be difficult for you, and I — I wanted to ensure it went as smoothly as possible,” he confessed.

“Considerate,” she muttered, more to herself than to him. Yoongi’s gaze faltered, and he looked away momentarily.

“I want you to enjoy it—”

“Then make me enjoy it,” she interrupted him yet again, gulping down the contents of her cup, setting it down with a gentle clink next to his almost full one.

“I intend to,” he said. The complexities of tradition, the weight of the syndicate expectations, seemed to press down on them like the heavy beams of the hanok. Yet, he was thrilled at the prospect of laying her down and making love to her, while she tried to make peace with the path ahead.

A mixture of emotions played across Y/N’s face, the tension in the air made her anxious. The tea flowed in her system, calming her. The steps were set, and she cannot back down now.

His hands cradled her face, a gesture that held both tenderness and an unspoken understanding. But Y/N knows he will never understand. And thus, the night unfolded.

The hanok, with its wooden beams and paper windows, seemed to breathe with the rhythm of their footsteps. The aroma of tea still lingered within the walls, all the way back in the house.

“Pray with me?” a soft plea that resonated with the hallowed surroundings. They settled on top of the low cushion bed; he held both her hands in his. The subtle sounds of the valley outside, muffled by the hanji-covered windows, crackling fire nearby — the low hum of their shared prayer filled the room, blending with the whispers of the winter wind outside.

As they concluded their prayers, the world outside the hanok continued its silent ballet with nature. Yoongi slowly let her hands fall into her lap. Y/N kept looking at her hands, biting her lower lip.

He extended his hands pulling out the golden pins from her hair, releasing them.

“You are magnificent,” he whispered into her lips that were anticipating his. She looked into his eyes one last time before she slowly closed them, awaiting him to take the first step. Y/N could feel both his hands on the swell of her bottom, slightly squeezing it and thus making her pant into his mouth. He pulled her into his lap, not distancing their close proximity. Not now. Not ever.

A deep groan released from his throat when she fully sat down in his lap. Y/N was straddling him, feeling his stiff manhood tightly pressed against her core making her breath hitch. He moved his hand from its place on her butt cheek to the swell of her clothed breast.

“Let me make love to you.” He kissed her lips very gently, waiting for her response. She knew he would do so even if she would not give him her consent. And once she shyly nodded her head, he dove right in and kissed her very deeply, slipping his tongue into her mouth. He was hungry and only she could sate him.

He continued to press himself against her core, creating at least some friction in between, aiming to hit the right spot and make her sing for him.

Yoongi was trying to trace down the opening of her qipao, feeling the delicately made buttons on her chest. Not for a moment he stopped kissing her, unbuttoning her dress and hiking it up from its hem on her thighs, showing her undergarments and pulling it all the way up her head —throwing the peace of clothing that provided her warmth, perhaps even a security blanket, away.

Her neck was his next target. He bent his head making hers to lean back to allow him access. Yoongi layered down butterfly kisses all over her, now, naked, bruised neckline. “You are such a good girl.” He muttered into her skin, caressing her bottom while he placed his hand back to her right breast.

Y/N could feel her nipples stiffen under the change of temperature, or perhaps the excitement her body was going through, which she did not want to admit. He took one of her hands who were inactive till now and placed it on his chest near the small buttons of his shirt. Trying to send a mental message for her to touch him too — undress him too.

Y/N took a shaky breath, trying to come to her senses. Out of this ectasis. But she could not. His work on her neck was becoming troublesome, not mentioning his roaming hands. She was never touched by man lovingly, but she could not deny that he is making her heart skip just by teasing her.

Her small shaky fingers finally reached to the buttons whilst he was abusing her chest with hot kisses. She unbuttoned the first one, then the second until she reached the last. “That’s it baby.” He encouraged her to continue slipping his shirt down from his body.

He straightened himself and looked deeply into her eyes, his voice filled with desire and longing. “I love you.” Said Yoongi when he slowly slid his hand in between them cupping her clothed heat. Millions of little butterflies erupted in her lower belly, her breath hitched, silent moan coming out of her swollen lips when he started to rub circles, moving her clitoris through the fabric. She could feel herself leaning into him, her body responding to his touch.

The room was filled with an intoxicating blend of desire and anticipation. He caressed her back until he reached the opening of her western style cone bra that she wore under the dress. Popping it open her eyes snapped open too. But the pleasure was overshadowing her sound judgment, and he knew she would at some point try to resent him a little, that’s why he did not hesitate to throw it the same direction as her qipao, not wasting time and taking her already hard nipple into his mouth. Her eyes widened; pupils dilated.

He was taking his sweet time loving her every inch before he laid her down on the bed, hovering above her. Dominating her. Yoongi’s hands moved with a gentle urgency, his kisses becoming more fervent as their passion ignited. He hooked his fingers into her undergarments, not giving her a chance to protest when he quickly pulled them down her legs, tepid air hitting her centre.

It’s when he went to spread her legs touching her knees she took his wrist into her small hand, looking deep down into his eyes, tears swelling in, realisation hitting her. Yoongi did not seem to be angry or displeased. He understood why this action triggered her and therefore he led her hands to his belt, giving her a chance to yet again give him her consent to proceed. He wanted her to fall in love with him, not to fear him. He dreaded the day when he will have to use different measures to convince, she is his woman and no one else can touch her.

The little rat was a big mistake. Yoongi did not expect him to go as far as to attempt to rape her. But he knew that the boy was coming. He knew it’s Yakuza’s move, and he knew when they would strike,and he was ready. What he wasn’t ready for was Chan-yeol’s betrayal. Nobody is betraying Kkangpae Min, nor no one will dare to touch his wife after what he will do to the traitor.

“You’re alright, baby.” He attempted to assure her, putting her small hands on his belt. Y/N’s fingers were yet again shaking when she was undoing his belt. She was now fully aware of her laying naked body. She could feel the goosebumps forming on her skin.

As Yoongi’s belt came undone, he couldn’t help but marvel at the strength and resilience that radiated from her. She had endured so much in such a short span of time, yet here she was, willingly surrendering herself to him.

He pulled down the pants, together with his undergarments. A loud thud followed once they fell down to the floor. He bent down to her belly and placed a small kiss just below her belly button and one slightly lower to her yet uninhabited womb.

“I need to help you relax your muscles a little.” Said he. She felt his hot breath on her inner thighs, shaking in his hold. He slid his hand down to her core yet again, touching her without any barrier for the first time. Y/N took a deep breath and another one when he slid his finger down her folds and up, making her pussy produce wet juices. His lips were on her collarbone when he unexpectedly slid his index finger inside her making her moan loudly, yelp even.

“Shhh…” He cooked at her, kissing her lips passionately, while thrusting his finger slowly in and out of her heat. She could feel a prick of pain in the area Yoongi’s finger occupied. Y/N’s moans became a mix of moderate pain and pleasure altogether.

She could feel his other hand move away from caressing her hip to his member which he started to slowly stroke. Y/N could see that he was more than ready — his cock big, stiff and red, pre-cum leaking from its tip. He wanted to dive into her heat badly. But he needed to stretch her out a little more, so she won’t suffer that much pain. Yoongi smiled when he spotted her eyeing his body through half-lidded eyes, panting, yet being focused specifically on his manhood.

He towered above her, pulling his finger out of her heat. Sudden emptiness surrounded her walls that were finally adjusting to the intruder. She gasped when she felt his hands pulling her closer to him. Her legs were on each side of his hips. Y/N observed his body, his toned skin, slight muscles, his well-built torso — all the way down his V line, adorned with soft hair.

She snapped out of her thought train once he climbed on top of her and pressed his manhood in between her folds, sliding it up and down, covering it in her juices. Moan escaped her mouth once he put a little bit of pressure, stimulating her clitoris. He moved his hips slowly, trying to hold himself to not to thrust it in just yet.

He raised his left hand and intertwined his fingers with hers pinning it above her head while attacking her lips again. Y/N’s hand instinctively slapped his chest trying to push him away just a little, but his little smirk into her lips assured her that he wanted that kind of reaction from her.

And when she awaited it the least, he thrust himself into her, making her bite down his lower lip. He groaned at the sensation. His lip was bleeding, but he could not care less. “No—” She let go of his lip and an incoherent sound came out of her throat, eyes welling up with tears.

“Yoongi, it hurts too much.” She stated the obvious, crying whilst trying to breath. Enormous heat wave just hit her, and she was desperately wanting to make her head stop spinning.

“I know, baby. I know.” He whispered into her lips, trying to take his own breathing under control. She feels like heaven to him. His everlasting home. His love. This is where he was supposed to be all his life.

He tried to move very slowly, making her cry even more, but he couldn't stop. “It will stop I promise.” He kissed her tears away, stretching her walls to the fullest with his manhood. Silently moaning into her lips.

It took quite a while for her to adjust to the stretch and tension, fullness inside of her. Yoongi explored every inch of her naked body, his hands caressing her with a gentleness that belied his previous actions. In this moment, she was not defined by the traumas of her past or the expectations of their marriage. Their bodies moved in perfect sync once the pain yielded a little.

The room was filled with the sounds of their mingled loud moans and the crackling of the fire. The warmth of the fireplace mirrored the growing heat between them, intensifying the pleasure that coursed through their veins.

Yoongi’s movements became a little faster, more deliberate to draw as much pleasure from her as he could. He wanted to show her that their union was not solely physical but a one of love. With each whisper of reassurance and each gentle caress, he aimed to erase any lingering fears and insecurities that she held.

His thrusts were becoming sloppy after a while, he could feel her shaking against him. But not from fear but from pleasure. He mustered what he could to take her over the edge for the very first time in her life. Y/N could feel the butterflies in her stomach tying somewhat knot that she wanted them to release badly. Her hand slipped into his hair, tucking it tightly whilst he was thrusting into her heat, making her moan loudly into his mouth. He was very close, but he wanted her to come with her. And as they were reaching the peak of passion, their bodies trembling with pleasure, Yoongi held Y/N close, their hearts beating in sync.

Their moans became louder and louder every second they were nearing the summit. “Yoongi—!” she screamed his name out when she was sure the knot was about to burst. “Baby—” he could not even finish a sentence he meant to say once she came undone under him, trembling from the pleasure, her mouth agape, eyes tightly closed — her walls still vibrating around him. Not even a second later his loud cry followed as he spilled thick ropes of cum inside of her. His eyes closed, and he was breathing heavily. When he opened his eyes, she was already looking at him, her mouth still slightly open as she was panting. Her eyes seemed glossy but so were his. He caressed the side of her thigh whilst gently kissing her swollen lips, whispering how much he loves her.

Slowly pulling out of her heat, substituting with his fingers plunging his cum mixed with hints for crimson blood, back into her heat he lowered his body yet again to her belly. Kissing where he assumed her womb was, he whispered a prayer.

“May the Lord bless us with a miracle.”

I N T E R L O G U E

The father’s rage reverberated in the confined space of the car. “You could not have just fucking waited, you little prick!” his frustration boiling over.

Still grappling with the pain of his missing arm, the one-handed son shot back defiantly, blood seeping through the bandages “You said everything would work out in our favour!”

The car they were sitting in was slowing down until it stopped altogether. The older male looked around in confusion. They were nowhere near the docks for their escape to Fukuoka.

“It would if you’d just shut your damn cock instincts, you stupid boy!” the Yakuza leader hissed, attempting to keep his anger in check.

Blinded by fury, he failed to notice the car taking a series of wrong turns, leading them into a desolate no man’s land. When the driver turned to face them, blood reached his ears.

“Kkangpae Min sends you good wishes on your journey to hell.”

to be continued

©pennyellee. please do not repost

author's note: f finally yall!!!!! as I already said this chapter was a lot, ain't gonna lie about that, but everything is going according to the plan so don't worry. This was my first smut in english and I'm so scared of yall's reaction... Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, it was an emotional roller-coaster to write, especially the implied non-con and smut after all the reader had to endure, poor gal. I love to see your comments that basically express that you understand the story's essence and for that I love you all so much ♥ We'll see what will happen in next chapter :))

shout-out to Bex, the queen @chaoticpuff17, for beta another chapter! Love you bae!!!!

Love you all!! ♥

Don't be a silent reader, comment, re-blog, heart, asks are more than welcome ♥

keep in mind - I'm not an expert on chinese, korean and japanese culture, but I tried to research everything realistic I wanted to add to the story. Nonetheless, take it as a fiction.

let's be friends chummers ♥

lots of love, 𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖞𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖊

tag list: @beautifulcloudfestival - @chaoticpuff17 - @honsoolgloss - @jingerbreadoutofstock - @moscow778 - @januara26 - @dinosolecito - @yoongislatinagff - @xyahrinx - @hi12345567 - @nochuel - @deltamoon666 - @bbkissme99 - @darkuni63 - @nansasa - @sazsazsaz - @missmin - @strxwbloody - @royallyjjk - @jaiuneamesolitaiire - @shadowyjellyfishfest - @bbgniecyy - @elayne321 - @seojunandsoju - @bun-27 - @whipwhoops - @wobblewobble822 - @whofan88 - @haneyyyyyy - @lostgirlinthewoodss - @secfir - @btspurplesky - @elleflying07 - @pamzn - @megseungmin - @selenophileforlife - @idkjustlovingbts

[magic-shop-stories]

Hello! Hope you're doing well. Love your work! Can I request something slightly.. Maybe confusing?

Idk why but I've always felt that Yoongi and Namjoon have the potential to be attracted to similar people, given their ideologies and personalities. So what happens when they meet reader organically and feel drawn towards them?

I am not envisioning a love triangle per se, but only the illusion of one. Where both grow closer to reader but with namjoon, it indeed is just a solid friendship. Lovestruck but in denial Yoongi doesn't see it that way necessarily. At least initially. Maybe some angst there.

Therefore despite the reader showing interest back, it takes our honey boy a minute to get there, and finally it's all sorted. Yoongi and reader end up together and all their friends are happy for them!

Cold Storage: An Archive of Imperfect Notes

Pairings: Min Yoongi x Archivist!Reader (slow burn), Platonic Kim Namjoon x Reader Rating: R (M) Genre: angst, romance, hurt/comfort, fluff Warnings: alcohol use (whiskey), emotional confrontations (themes of self-doubt, fear of artistic irrelevance), mild language, jealousy, kissing (non-explicit) Word Count: ~ 3k

Description: As HYBE’s archivist, you’re a keeper of ghosts - demos, coffee-stained lyrics, and the jagged edges of artists’ past selves. But when Min Yoongi starts haunting the archives to resurrect his old mixtapes, his obsession with the boy he used to be collides with the man he’s become. Between debates about Rilke, Camus, and the stains on his notebooks, you’ll learn that some wounds outlive the knife… and some hearts only thaw in the cold.

💌 Reply:

Hi love! 💜 First off - THANK YOU for this brilliant request (and your kind words, my heart 🥹). I hope you don’t mind that I spun this into a full imagine/fic — your concept of Yoongi and Joon’s parallel pulls and the “illusion” of a triangle hit me like a TRUCK. As a Yoongi ult (he’s my first/last/always 🐱) and Namjoon bias-wrecker, I vibrated at the idea of their dynamic clashing over someone who challenges them - god, I wish I could thank you enough (you scratched my brain) I kept your vision sacred: no real triangle, just Yoongi’s honey-coated denial, Joon’s platonic muse vibes, and the angst of two artists fearing too much vulnerability (at least in my mind). Also, the others teasing Yoongi? I couldn't NOT do it If this isn’t what you pictured, I’ll happily tweak, but I hope it gives you that slow-burn, you deserved. Thank you for trusting me with this gem. Now go feed your brainrot, legend. 🖤 – c – 💜

Cold Storage: An Archive of Imperfect Notes

Cold Storage: An Archive of Imperfect Notes

Prologue: The Quiet Before the Storm

The archives room at HYBE was a cathedral of silence, if silence could hum.

You liked it that way; the steady whir of climate-controlled servers, the faint tang of aged paper clinging to your fingertips, the way dust motes drifted like static in the blue-tinted dark. Here, in the belly of the iconic building where music went to hibernate, you were more archaeologist than archivist. Unearthing demos from 2013 felt like brushing silt from fossils, each lyric sheet was a bone fragment of who BTS used to be.

You’d taken the job for the anonymity. Artists came to you as ghosts, through track lists scrawled in Sharpie, voice memos buried in hard drives, the occasional coffee ring staining a producer’s notes. They rarely came in person.

Until today.

The Catalyst

The door hissed open at 3:47 PM. You didn’t look up, fingers skating over the spine of a 2014 lyric journal. “If you’re here for the Dark & Wild masters, they’re digitizing in Bay 6.”

“Not here for Bang PD’s old angst,” a voice drawled. Dry, low, lacquered with a Daegu rasp. “Looking for mine.”

Your head snapped up.

Min Yoongi leaned against the doorframe, sleeves rolled to his elbows. His face was all angles under the archival LEDs. his sharp jaw, sharper eyes. You’d seen him before, of course. In hallways. Through the frosted glass of Studio 4, in the practice rooms... Never here, where the past was kept under lock and humidity controls.

“Am producing D-3,” he said, pushing off the frame. “Ten-year reissue. Need the raw stems. And the notebook I used back then. The black one.”

You blinked. “The one where you wrote ‘I want to scream but my throat is a cemetery’?”

His eyebrow twitched, he seemed impressed for a second. “…Yeah.”

You stood, chair screeching. “Physical copies are in Cold Storage. Digital’s accessible if you...”

“Want the physical.” He crossed his arms. “Need to see the… stains.”

Ah. The coffee spills, crossed out words - rewritten a hundred times, whatever sins of sentimentality survived a decade. You nodded, turning toward the steel vault door.

The archives chose that moment to spit out Kim Namjoon.

He materialized between shelves like a philosopher-king misplaced by time, hair tousled, glasses smudged. “Hyung? What’re you...”

“My mixtape’s getting a facelift,” Yoongi said, not taking his eyes off you. “You?”

Namjoon hefted a dog-eared copy of The Myth of Sisyphus. “Preparing speech on art as resilience. Need more Camus. And… something that doesn’t sound like a TED Talk.” He grinned, dimples cratering. “Help?”

You snorted. “Camus is a TED Talk. 1942 edition.”

Namjoon’s grin widened. “Then give me the director’s cut.”

Yoongi cleared his throat. Loudly. “Cold Storage?”

“Right.” You led them deeper into the archives, fluorescent lights flickering like a heartbeat monitor. Yoongi’s shadow loomed over your shoulder; Namjoon’s fingers trailed the shelves, dislodging years of dust.

The vault door groaned open. Yoongi stepped into the 12°C chill like a soldier entering a trench.

“Box S-13,” you said, gloved hands lifting a battered container. Inside lay the notebook, the pages warped, edges singed. “Handle with care. Literally.”

He took it like a relic. For a moment, his mask slipped, lips parted, eyes soft and startled, as if meeting a ghost. Then he sniffed. “Nostalgia’s a scam. This…” He flicked a page. “Kid was an idiot.”

You tilted your head. “Or you’re scared he’s smarter than you now.”

Yoongi froze.

Namjoon coughed; badly hiding a laugh.

“Growth isn’t a diss to who you were,” you continued, pulling a crate of Camus essays for Namjoon. “Just proof you survived.”

Yoongi’s gaze cut to you, calculating. “You psychoanalyze all the artists, or just the ones who peaked in 2014?”

“Only the ones who leave burn marks on their notebooks.” You nodded at the charcoal smudges on his thumb.

Namjoon burst out laughing. “Oh, I like her.”

Yoongi didn’t laugh. But his lips quirked, brief and begrudging. “Whatever. Thanks.” He turned to leave, then paused. “…Kid me. You think he’d hate me now?”

The question hung in the frozen air.

You considered the man clutching his past like a grenade. “He’d pity you.”

Yoongi’s brow furrowed.

“For thinking you had to choose between him and who you are now.”

For a heartbeat, the vault hummed with unsaid things. Then Yoongi huffed, tucking the notebook under his arm. “Tell Cold Storage to chill less. It’s fucking arctic in here.”

He left.

Namjoon lingered, thumbing through Camus. “‘The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart,’” he read aloud. Then, softer: “You believe that? That art outlives the artist?”

You handed him a first-edition Rebel. “Depends. What if the artist wants to fade? To let the work breathe without their shadow?”

He stilled, eyes narrowing behind smudged lenses. “…Are you always this dangerous?”

“Only to philosophers who quote dead Frenchmen at me.”

Namjoon’s laugh echoed off the vault walls. “Noted. But fair warning...” He leaned in, mock-conspiratorial. “Yoongi-hyung’s gonna be back. He hates losing debates.”

“Not a debate. A fact.”

“Even worse.” He winked, tucking the book under his arm. “Thanks, archivist.”

You watched him leave, unaware of the eyes burning into your back from the security feed in Studio 4... Yoongi, rewinding the footage, pausing on your smirk.

On the desk, his old notebook lay open to a scribbled line: I want to die - I want to live.

He hit replay.

The Dance

The HYBE cafeteria at midnight was a liminal space, flickering vending machines, the scent of stale coffee, and the ghost of Jungkook’s laughter echoing from a meme video left playing on a tablet. You sat hunched over a dog-eared Rilke collection, blue-light glasses slipping down your nose as Namjoon paced, reciting draft lines like incantations.

“Art as… a rebellion against entropy,” he muttered, raking a hand through his hair. “No, too clinical. Art as... shit, what’s the equivalent for ‘intergenerational dialogue’?”

You tossed him a chocolate bar from your bag. “Try 유산 (legacy). Or 대화 (conversation). Depends if you want your audience to weep or nap.”

He caught it, dimples flashing. “Why not both?” Collapsing into the chair across from you, he ripped the wrapper with his teeth. “Help me murder this paragraph. It’s got three metaphors and zero soul.”

You leaned over his notebook, red pen slashing through a convoluted analogy about “sculpting time.” “Camus would disown you. Keep it raw. Like your ‘My heart was filled with straight lines only’ line in Trivia: Love.”

Namjoon’s eyes lit up. “You know that song?”

“I archive your old journals. You wrote that lyric after spilling green tea on Hegel.”

He barked a laugh, loud enough to startle a passing cleaner. “Okay, archivist. What’s raw but profound?”

You scribbled in the margin: “Art isn’t a relic... it’s the wound that outlives the knife.”

Namjoon stared, then slowly grinned. “…I’m stealing that.”

Yoongi found you two days later, arguing over the pronunciation of “Schwere” (heaviness) in Rilke’s “Archaic Torso of Apollo.”

“It’s sh-veh-reh,” you insisted, slamming a German dictionary on the archives desk. “Not shuh-wear. You’re butchering the Schmerz (pain).”

Namjoon leaned back, smug. “Hyung, back me up. It’s about feeling, not grammar.”

Yoongi hovered in the doorway, a box of 2015 demos under his arm. His black sweater rode up slightly as he shifted, frowning. “Why’s Rilke in my studio?”

“Speech,” you said, not looking up. “He’s romanticizing existentialism again.”

Namjoon tossed a crumpled post-it at Yoongi. “They’re ruthless. Tell them schwere (heaviness) is subjective.”

Yoongi caught it, squinting at the scribbled lines. Art isn’t a relic - it’s the wound that outlives the knife. His jaw twitched. “Sounds like a  D-2 B-side.” He dropped the demos on your desk. “Need these scanned. And the notebook from last week.”

You frowned. “You’ve requested that notebook three times.”

He met your gaze, unblinking. “I like the stains.”

His visits became clockwork.

Tuesdays at 4 PM

“The 2016 tour schedules. For… chronology.”

Thursdays at 7 PM

“Original First Love lyrics. The ones with the coffee rings.”

Each time, he lingered; arguing over tracklists, scoffing at your critiques, circling back to debates about his old self.

“Reissue Track 5 should be The Last pt.2 ,” you said one evening, sliding the old demo across the desk.

Yoongi stiffened. “Too raw. People won’t get it.”

“Or you’re scared they will.”

He leaned forward, palms flat on the desk. The small 7 on his shoulder peeked out, a silent confession. “You think you know me because you’ve digitized my angst?”

“I think The Last saved someone once. Maybe you.”

He held your stare, the air thickening like storm clouds. Then he snatched the demo. “Track 5 stays Agust D - WHO?.”

But the next day, the tracklist update included The Last pt.2.

It was Namjoon who shattered the détente.

You’d met him in the cafeteria again, debating the ethics of AI-generated art. His laugh, warm and booming, carried across the room as you mocked his “algorithms can’t cry” argument.

Yoongi walked in just as you tossed a sugar packet at Namjoon’s chest.

“ So if a robot writes a love song,” you said, grinning, “...is it plagiarism or progress?”

Namjoon caught the packet, eyes crinkling. “Depends if it’s got soul. Like your Rilke edits., but probably not.”

Yoongi froze, tray in hand. His knuckles whitened around a cup of bitter black coffee.

Of course it’s Joon.

He left without a word.

That night, Yoongi stormed the archives.

“Seesaw,” he demanded, slamming a hand on your desk. “The original first-demo. Now.”

You didn’t flinch. “...it’s 11 PM.”

“And?”

“You’ve listened to Seesaw a thousand times. Why now?”

His throat bobbed. “Need to remember why I wrote it.”

You swiveled to the server, pulling up the file. The demo played, raw, unpolished, Yoongi’s voice cracking on “I’m afraid I’ll get used to this pain,” - a line that didn't make it too the final track.

He stood rigid, back to you.

“You wrote it because you were tired of balancing pride and regret,” you said softly. “Because vulnerability felt like failure.”

Yoongi spun, eyes blazing. “You don’t...”

“Know you?” You stood, meeting his glare. “I know the boy who scribbled ‘I need u’ in margins. Who still comes here to argue with his ghost when noone is looking, but I see.”

He stepped closer, heat radiating off him. “And what do you get from this? Playing therapist to fucked-up artists?”

“Maybe I like the company.”

A beat. His gaze dropped to your lips.

The door creaked.

Namjoon poked his head in, blissfully oblivious. “Archivist! Need your take on Nietzsche’s ‘eternal recurrence’ for the speech... Oh. Am I interrupting?”

Yoongi jerked back, cheeks flushed. “No.”

“Yes,” you said.

Namjoon glanced between you, smirk blooming. “I’ll… come back.”

Yoongi left without another word, but not before you spotted the tremor in his hands; the same tremor from the day he’d first held his old notebook.

The Fracture

The air in Studio 4 was always sterile, a vacuum sealed against the outside world. But tonight, it felt like a tomb.

Yoongi had been playing his  The Last pt.2 draft on loop for hours, the demo’s jagged bassline gnawing at the soundproof walls. His fingers hovered over the mixing board, tweaking the same three-second clip - “I built my pride from broken glass”, until the words lost meaning.

He didn’t hear the door open. You were one of the few people in the company with keys to almost every room.

“You’re avoiding me.”

Your voice cut through the noise. Yoongi’s shoulders tensed, but he didn’t turn. “Busy.”

“Bullshit.” You stepped inside, the door clicking shut behind you. “You haven’t answered a single text. Skipped the archives all week. What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong. The track pulsed, raw and unpolished. “The Last pt.2” was supposed to be a sequel, closure for the boy who wrote “I want to die” in smudged ink years ago. Instead, it felt like a relapse.

“MIN YOONGI.”

He spun, chair screeching. “Why’re you here? Shouldn’t you be helping Joon craft his precious speech?”

The venom startled you. “He asked me to rehearse. That’s all.”

Yoongi scoffed, jabbing a finger at the screen. “Saw you. Foreheads touching, hands all... whatever. Looked cozy.”

You blinked. “I was stopping him from clicking his pen. He does it when he’s nervous. You know that.”

“Do I?” He stood abruptly, knocking over a half-empty glass of whiskey. The liquid seeped into his notebook, blurring the notes as he shoved past you. “Doesn’t matter. Got a producer meeting.”

“At midnight?”

“Yes.”

You blocked the door. “Talk to me.”

His laugh was brittle. “About what? How you’ve got Joon wrapped around your finger? How he looks at you like you’re his damn muse?”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Am I?” He stepped closer, the whiskey on his breath sharp and sour. “You quote his lyrics, fix his speeches, laugh at his jokes... fuck, you even know how he takes his coffee. What’s next? Translating his diary?”

You flinched. “It’s not like that. Also you only drink decaf, iced...”

“Sure.” He yanked the door open. “Have fun crafting legacies.”

Rooftop, 1:14 AM

The wind bit through Yoongi’s sweater as Namjoon found him slumped against the guardrail, whiskey glass dangling from his fingers.

“You look like hell,” Namjoon said, settling beside him.

“Feel like it.”

A beat. The city below hummed, indifferent.

“They quoted The Last in my speech today,” Namjoon said quietly.

Yoongi stiffened.

“Not the lyrics. The… feeling. Said it reminded them that art isn’t about permanence. It’s about…” He paused. “'The courage to shatter what you’ve built.'”

Yoongi’s throat tightened.His line, from the 2016 notebook, unreleased.

Namjoon turned, gaze piercing. “They’ve been stealing your words to fix mine this whole time. Not because they’re mine... because they’re yours.”

The glass trembled in Yoongi’s hand. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you’re an idiot.” Namjoon’s voice softened. “They’re not my muse, hyung. They’re yours. Always have been.”

Yoongi stared at the amber liquid, the reflection of his own fractured face staring back.

“You gonna keep hiding in demos?” Namjoon stood, clapping his shoulder. “Or write a new verse?”

Studio 4, 2:03 AM

The door creaked open again.

You froze, breath catching.

Yoongi stood in the threshold, The Last pt.2 still looping. His eyes were red-rimmed, hair a mess, but his voice steadied the storm.

“I’m… shit at this.”

“At what?”

“Talking. Feeling. All of it.” He stepped inside, the door shutting with a soft click. “But I’m worse at pretending I don’t.”

The track swelled - “I built my pride from broken glass” - as he closed the distance.

“Joon’s right,” he muttered, gaze dropping to your lips. “I’m an idiot.”

The space between you crackled.

“Prove it,” you whispered.

He didn't, not yet...

 The Harmony

The archives hummed with the static of a thousand dormant stories, the air thick with the scent of ink and longing.

Yoongi stood in the center of the room, his back to you, shoulders tense as he rifled through a box of 2018 demos. The small 7 on his shoulder peeked out beneath his tank top, a silent testament to loyalty, and fear.

“You left this in Studio 4.”

He froze at your voice.

You held up his old notebook, the one with the warped pages and coffee-stained edges. It fell open to “I need u”, the words circled in red, your own scribble bleeding into the margin: “I need you too.”

Yoongi didn’t turn. “Thought you’d be with Joon.”

“Stop.” Your voice cracked. “Stop pretending you don’t see me.”

He spun, eyes dark and stormy. “See what? You quoting my lyrics to fix his speeches? Laughing at his jokes? Holding his damn hand...”

“To stop him from clicking his pen!” You repeated and stepped closer, the notebook trembling in your grip. “You think I care about his speeches? About legacies? I’ve been here every night, waiting for you to look up from your damn demos and see me!”

Yoongi’s breath hitched.

You thrust the notebook at him. “You want to know why I memorized The Last notes? Why I stayed late every time you asked for another mixtape? It wasn’t for the music, you idiot. It was for you.”

The archives fell silent, save for the whir of servers.

Yoongi stared at the notebook, your confession etched beside his oldest wound. When he finally spoke, his voice was raw. “I thought… I was just another track to you. Something to analyze and shelve.”

“You were never just anything.”

He looked up, vulnerability stripping him bare. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Do what?”

“This.” He gestured between you, the air crackling. “Wanting someone who… who knows all the broken parts.”

You closed the distance, your fingers brushing his. “Then stop hiding in your demos.”

His gaze dropped to your lips. “What if I ruin it?”

“You won’t.”

The kiss was a crescendo; slow at first, tentative, then desperate. Yoongi’s hands cradled your face like you were the last fragile tape in the archives, his lips soft but insistent, tasting of whiskey and unsung verses. The shelves pressed into your back, demos scattering like imperfect notes around your feet. His fingers tangled in your hair, tugging gently as he deepened the kiss, a silent plea for more, more, more...

“Took you long enough,” a voice drawled.

You broke apart, breathless. Namjoon leaned against the doorway, tossing a USB drive at Yoongi. It landed at your table, labeled “Hyung’s Love Song (Finally)” in Sharpie.

Yoongi glared, cheeks flushed. “How long were you...?”

“Long enough to know you owe me 50,000 won.” Namjoon smirked. “Jin-hyung bet on tonight. I said you’d chicken out till dawn.”

Yoongi flipped him off, but his arm stayed wrapped around your waist, anchoring you to his side.

[Bonus] Epilogue: One Month Later

The OT7 group chat exploded at 8 PM.

Jin: [photo of Yoongi feeding you kimchi jjigae in the cafeteria] “Grandpa’s first date since 2014!!! Transfer payments, children.”

Jungkook: “WAIT THEY'RE REAL???”

Hobi: “I TOLD YOU ALL IT WAS THE ARCHIVES. PAY UP!!!”

Taehyung: [Screenshots of Yoongi’s Spotify wrapped] “Since when does hyung listen to Rilke ASMR??”

Yoongi: “Fuck off.”

You: [photo of the USB plugged into Yoongi’s laptop, titled “Love Song (Draft)”] “Track 1: ”Not Yet” 👀”

Namjoon: “Finally.”

END

[nyxgoddessofcandles]

Thinking on it, Tripods can't work because they all need two pilots, regardless of tonnage

I'm confident you could make a movement control computer that can make tripods work with a single pilot, just that no one has tried since they're all superheavies or weird experimental tech right now

Fucked around and an 80t Tripod was born. Considering this the Prototype version, working on slightly less obscenely expensive/experimental-tech versions. Name is that of one of the daughters of Ares from Ancient-Terran Greek Mythos.

It is quite nice. I look forward to seeing the other variants.

[kusakiguzen]

Bts x Reader (8th member)

A/N: Okay hear my tf out. I abolish one of my rules of not writing about human people, I hate being hypocrete hence i'm getting rid of this rule, in which i say i don't write about people (still a lil uncomfy but this fic has been on my mind and it is hindering my writing of other fics). Just sit back and enjoy this bullshit since i haven't read anything like this. One of the scenes were inspired by song like "My R" English version. And other songs too.

Warnings: Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, copying,etc idk. I do not condone the behavior done by the reader in this fic. There are events that did happen in real life. If you feel like the doing the shit that the reader did, please contact help as its not healthy. This is mostly fiction and a fragment of my imagination.

You were a normal person, going through a tough time. Depression and stress taking its toll, You took up selfharm, scars littering all over your arms and stomach. Pressure from parents about their expectation getting heavier and heavier.

But then you heard them.... Their song for the first time. BTS or 방탄소년단; RR: Bangtan Sonyeondan. Their heavenly voice, their goofiness was your comfort in those dark times, you even stopped cutting your self because Namjoon (RM) said he'd shave the eyebrows of people who don't take care of themselves ( and if you don't study, Listen to him people), Laugh with them and be goofy while watching Run BTS, Eat with Jin while watching EatJin. They saved you, helped you, behind the screen, even without meeting them in person. They were you saviors. You even learnt Korean, so you can understand and learn their songs, all 230 of them.

You hated when people judged them for smallest of things, unnessecary hate they got, stupid rumors.... Everything like that. You wished you could protect them like they did to you. But you couldn't.... Its fine All of you and Army together can. So it was fine. They were your escape, Escape form reality and this world.

But you can't escape reality forever. It always catches up, it haunts you. And soon even they couldn't save you from you attempting to take your life. But I guess they did save you by going live when you planed to end yourself. But good things never last. On a particular day, it was too exhausting, you felt numb, lifeless, like a shell with no purpose. While on the end of the side walk, waiting for the light to turn red ( for the cars?) You were picking a song to listen to, you started walking, didn't see the truck coming.

You saw two headlights coming closer by the seconds, your fingers clicked on a song, just before the impact, You heard the lyrics of "I NEED U" and the only thought in your mind was

"Ah shit, I'm gonna die without even going to their concert..... haaaahhh"

And you saw black, and were welcomed by nothingness.

You were in there for what felt like hours, before being welcomed with bright light and the smell of sanitizer and disinfectents. Hissing, you opened your eyes and saw the white ceiling of the hospital, and two people on each sides who noticed your conciousness.

They were calling your name, asking if you were okay, the only problem was

They were speaking Korean

Words came out of your mouth instinctively. Matching the language of the two strangers,

"Who are you?"

Yo were terrified, did you get kidnaped while being unconscious? or is you brain playing tricks since the last thing you heard was Korean?

You saw doctors panic and checking every thing, But before you could say anything your head started spining and you lost consciousness again, The last thing you hear was the sound of doctors and the two strangers telling you to stay with them.

Welcomed by darkness again, but soon something started playing in front of you like a movie. You realised that it was a child's life story. A child who was lonely, isolated and extremely shy. You say the child be bullied, picked on, the two people who were with you in the hospital room dismissing the child. It stopped after you saw her get hit by a truck.

Then it stopped. And you saw the girl crying in what looked like a puddle. You went up to her and you guys talked, laughed and all in all had a fun time.

Then she said something and you again woke up in the hospital.

Please take care of my body and live like you want to in this life, for the both of us...... Don't try to avenge me, Okay Unnie*?

You woke up in the same hospital bed surrounded by the same people. But that girls words just kept spining in your head. What did she mean?

You sat up and saw your hands and dread washed over you, These were hands of a child, specifically the little girl you met the darkness.

You shouted asking for a mirror which the women beside you gve it to you....... No Fucking way, you became a child? The same child you met? Then it clicked, the words of the girl. OH MY GOD! you thought reincarnation only happed in Manhwas or Anime. So Wtf is this? did you get reincarnated in a Manhwa? Anime?

You were utterly shocked, absolutely baffeled. But composed yourself immediately, and asked for the date. It was February 15th 2007. Then you asked your age and were told you were 14, go to Gwaneum Middle School. Why did that name sound so familiar to you?

You were soon discharged and taken back home in Daegu Town, Again it sounded so familiar to you but you brushed it off as it being the body's memory.

After a month your school started and you met him.......... Min Yoongi..

WTF? Huhh? how? wat?? Okay you are probably dreaming, yup this dream.

You walked up to him and introduced yourself to him, but he just looked at you nodded and left, leaving you behind before you could say anything.

'Okay that was awkward' you thought

After that day, you started to befriend him, atleast try to, but he was extremly shy and isolated. But you still stayed, sometimes buying him food to show your sencierity and help him out knowing he didn't have much .

You also wrote all the BTS songs in a diary with a lock. wrote some other songs that were your favorite in another diary, since now you know why you were here. To help and protect them like you wanted and promised. That's right you were going to work a million times harder. Yes For them.

You weren't making progress in breaking down the walls around Yoongi's had built around his heart all of these years, but you weren't going to give up. So you kept trying, and trying. Doing things like joining him for lunch, buying him food and telling him you brought too much and he can have the extra, taking the bus with him and paying for him. Helping him without hurting him.

You finally broke down the walls he created after one incident. Yoongi being shy and unconfrontational stayed out of trouble, So if he'd get bullied he would take it.

One day Yoongi was late for lunch so you went to look for him, found him in the back of school wet with milk, and the carton lying near him, being bullied. He was clutching another one refusing to let go of it. The boy was hitting and slapping Yoongi's head and laughing at him while other boys record.

You saw red, Fucking bitch try to touch your Yoongi? Your SUGA? The kind hearted boy? You started voice recording and approaching them. With a sickly sweet voice you told them to leave Yoongi alone and asked him to come behind you. The boys whose name you didn't even try to get to know started insulting you and calling you names. Going as far as grabbing your shirt and ripping off some buttons. You screamed on purpose and started to "cry" and then the boys stopped recording, Bingo. You sneakily stopped recording yourself and then got up and said

"You Got 5 seconds to apologize."

5....

4...

they started laughing and mocking you

3..

Yoongi telling you to get away from there

2......

the boys again try to touch your chest but....

1.....

Lets just say they will never think of even looking in your direction after that.

You were called to the principal's office for that, and Yoongi wanted to accompany you to testify but you told him its fine and left alone. He never felt so powerless in his whole life. If you didn't know how to fight, who knows what would have happened.

You stood in front of the principal's office and pretended to cry. You guess all the extra curriculars your paents made you take did come in handy. You entered with puffy bloodshot eyes, red nose and cheek. Right of the bat the parents of the boys started accusing you and calling you a bitch and other derogatory names. You calmly told them that what you did was self defence. Again it went right over the parents head and now they were calling you a liar. Okay they refuse to settle this normally, you pulled out the recording from you phone, and placed it in front of them, playing it. They obviously were taken aback but composed themselves, It was the the principal's turn. He started to berate you, and took the recording and broke it.

Okay, so they chose the hard way, hhhaaaaaahhh you hoped they wouldn't be like this but it has to be done.

You fake pouted, looking at them. Looking back at the broken record and just started laughing.... Hard like a mad man. Then said...

"I guess it was real, what they show in all the k-drama. So I have to take revenge like how they do in them... Pity i was hoping to settle this peacefully."

Then you played something else.... The video of them bullying Yoongi.

How do you think your company will fare when they find out about this and the things you said right now? Hmm?

Taking out the recorder that you had kept ON for proof.

You smiled as you saw all their face turn pale. They started begging you, apologizing, While on their knees. Ahhhhh this feels good. You got up and tried to leave, when they asked if you'd forgive them. You looked back and smiled saying...

"Apologize to Yoongi like that and maybe I'll consider it, ne~~"

They did, They apologized to him on their knees making Him extreemly surprised. This is when Yoongi and you became close. After school that day, he grabbed your sleeve gently while you guys were walking to the bus station, you turned around and he was holding the same banana milk carton. He looked at you and then offered you the milk, catching you by surprise. He then said how you mentioned you liked banana milk but kept forgetting to buy it, so he bought one for you. You gently took it from his hand and started drinking it, you said it was the best thing you had tasted/drunk in a while, while a blush coated your face.

Your relationship changed and you both became inseparable, he became more expressive and talkative with you too. This lasted till Yoongi got a girlfriend. She was a sweet girl from your class whom you both befriended, when they announced that they were dating, everything changed. You often found yourself alone while they went on awkward dates, and the girl did tell you to keep a boundary now that he was in a relationship. You understood where she was coming from but you wanted to maintain the friendship.

This caused an argument, and you backed off. You distanced yourself from them to the point you stopped talking to either of them. And during that time you were selected for a compitation to represent Daegu Town. You went to Seoul to compete in it, and thats where you met another member, Kim Namjoon aka Rap Monster, representing Ilsan. The compatition was tough and you lost by 1 point. You and Namjoon did become friends after that and kept in contact. Till the few months Yoongi was dating, you got close to Namjoon. But after a few months Yoongi's girlfriend broke up. And boom a heartbroken and rain soaked Yoongi was standing in front if your door looking absolutely heartbroken.

Without hesitation you let him in, shoved him in the shower while cleaning up the water all over the place, reheating some food for him, You had made rice and Kimchi-guk (kimchi soup) since it was raining. Yoongi came out soon as you plated the food, a towel on his neck, still with the blank face which he made when he tried to hide his emotions. You sat him own on the floor, giving him the food and taking the towel to dry his hair. He was eating quitely but then suddenly spoke up...

"She broke up with me....."

"Huh?"

"My girlfriend.... she broke up with me...."

You knew this would happen but it still hurt to see him like this, you had realised that he didn't want you to press further or feel guilty for his sake. So you just hummed and then got up to get another towel because the one you were using got too wet and wasn't absorbing the water. Just as you were about to get up, his hand grabbed yous and a soft whisper of "stay" came out of his mouth. You wanted to tell him you'll be back but as soon as you turned around you saw Yoongi barely able to hold back his tears.

The towel was long forgotten and you immediately wrapped your hands around him bringing him into a hug, sat in silence while his tears soaked your shirt and you alternating between rubbing his back and playing with his hair. After he calmed down, you showed him to you spare room and made him sleep there since he is not n the right mind to drive or even walk.

After you made sure Yoongi was asleep, you slowly crept out of the room and went into you room. Because today, you and Namjoon were going to talk on the phone. You apologised for being late and explained that your friend had an emergency, he was understanding and you guys talked for hours about music and switching to studied whenever his parents or sister entered the room. You guys had planed to meet in 2 days but you had to postpone because of Yoongi. He said he didn't mind and you scedueled it for the next weekend.

The friendship between you and Yoongi grew even more, which you didn't even know was possible. He never put you second, and tried to redeem himself for the time he lost. On the other hand you visited Namjoon every other weekend and your bond grew stronger with him as well.

Few years passed and nothing really changed much, You life remained the same. Until for your high school trip you all were going to Gwangju Metropolitan City, where you bumped into Jung Hoseok. The world is a really small place. You both apologized and went your own ways, but fate had different plans for you. You separated from you group and strayed away to an unfamiliar area, and your phone was dead, suddenly 2 creeps started questioning you and trying to get you to come with them. That's when you saw Hoseok, and feeling scared you just loudly screamed "There you are!!! I was waiting for you" jogging up to him, he was sharp enough to understand the situation. He grabbed your hand and "reprameneded" you about staying from the group. He started leading you away as your hands trembled, as soon as they were out of sight, you knees gave out, if not for him you would have fallen hard. He was extremly worried. After few minutes you regained your composure and stood up with his help, You both walked to the nearest park where he sat you down, ram to a vending machine and got you a drink.

He gave you his phone so you could call for help but you were still a little shaken up. Absentmindedly you dialed Yoongi's number and gave it to Hoseok so he could talk since she was shaken up.

On the other hand You felt pathetic, at 14 you defended Yoongi from some rich and entitled people and now your trembling because of some random stranger? The reason was because this is an unfamiliar teritory, you don't know anything about this place. You really didn't want think about what could have happened if Hoseok didn't show up.

After Hoseok was done talking to Yoongi about the situation, turned his attention towards you, Yoongi had told him that he called your teacher and asked if Hoseok could keep you company while the teacher arrived, He already planed to do that so he agreed. You teacher came, obviously very worried and took you back not before thanking Hoseok. You handed him a note that had your number telling him how it would be nice to become friends with him.

During that week of your stay there, you met up with Him almost every day. You and him became pretty close and even after you left, you both kept in contact.

A year later, Yoongi told you about how he was going to audition to become a producer, which you encouraged and also told him how you'd accompany him. So in 2010, at the ripe age of 17, he joined the Big Hit Entertainment. You also got accepted, which left you confused but you weren't complaining. You were introduced to Namjoon by Yoongi, expecting you to not know him, but was very surprised to see you give him a hug and tell him how you missed him. You also met Hoseok again, and told Yoongi about him and how you met in the high school trip, and how they both talked. This eased the tension between the members, having a common topic to talk about, YOU.

A year later, you met the younger members during their training, an extremly shy Jeon Jeong-guk, The cute Kim Taehyung. But due to the age difference you couldn't get close to them, which made you sad, but it was understandable. You also met WWH, Kim Seokjin, you didn't get along immediately but still got along fine.

Another year later you met Park Jimin. He got along with Taehyung, as expected. And soon enough another year passed and BTS was formed, with an addition, YOU, L/N Y/N. Which the Hyung line (except Jin) was happy about since they already knew you, you were their back bone, Helping in every way possible, from cooking for them to helping them practice, no matter how tired you were. You always made sure they ate and healthy.

Their first song, "No More Dream" was released. Not getting much attention, which you expected but the others were much more disappointed. But you were there this time, helping them through it all.

And you made a solo album but the twist you copied songs like Labour by Paris Paloma, Alone by Nico Collins, Favorite by Issabel Larosa, and many more. You made sure they will still get the attention in the future.

For years, they worked hard but to nothing satisfying enough to make too much profit. It caused rifts between the member and the mental and physical exhaustion taking a toll on them. You yourself were barely holding it together, with the constant arguments, them neglecting their health. You were practically holding all of them together. But you were only human, during one argument between the members, you snapped, so fucking hard that it scared all of them. Tears rolling down your face, while you voice getting Hoarse from the shouting, after you were done, you felt nothing. And words came out with nothing but a whisper...

"I can't do this anymore...."

And with that you left the apartment, with nothing. When the members recovered from the shock, you were long gone. Yoongi being your childhood friend, ran out the door trying to search for you. It was late at night hence not safe for you to be outside, especially alone. He was soon followed by the others, Shouting your name, running around the neighbourhood, Tears clouding the younger member's eyes, fearing your safety, and about your words before you left. Your words playing in everyone's mind, haunting them.

After an hour of searching with nobody being able to find you, they returned home, hoping, begging for you to come back.

On the other hand, you felt like shit, the last thing they needed was you snapping and walking out on them. You took a walk for a while (like 2-3 Hours) without realizing the time, collecting your thoughts.

Back with the BTS members, they were coming to realization, you cooked for them 3 meals every day. You were up before them and slept after making sure all of them ate and were comfortable. You made sure they get a healthy and nutritious meal 3 times a day, atleast 5-6 hours of sleep, and also made sure to clean the apartment. Fuck, for years you did so much. You held them together. But who held you together? You had their backs but who had yours? You let them unwind in your arms but where did you take out your emotions? You helped them but who helped you? Not them... not anyone... Because you never showed it, Never once... They were too busy dealing with their own emotions to notice yours....

Man they felt like shit. No wonder you left. Who could blame you? They would leave too if they were you, long before this, you held on for soo long.... You were so strong, so amazing. God they couldn't describe what they were feeling in that moment. And their tears started to fall, without them realizing it.

You obviously came back to apologize for your out burst, but met with tear filled eyes of your other members. They were apologizing, with broken voice and sobs. You were surprised and also started to apologize, hugging them, and they compalined how you were still worried about them, to which you laughed and told them its second nature to you at this point.

After that day, they started to help out more around they house, with another rule, you will sleep with one of the members (not like that you unholy little shits), cuddle so they could make sure you get enough sleep too. They soon realized how different you acted when you were calmer. Your bond grew as a team and also this also stopped them from disbanding. They also became very over protective of you. Any signs of discomfort and they were beside you. Which you were grateful for.

But nothing goes as fucking planed, like fate loves to fuck with you, Since you all shared a place means no privacy, just your luck. You had brought your diary with you, the same diary you wrote all their songs in. It was locked obviously but one unfortunate day, it was found, by none other than your Leader. You didn't have to worry about it before since you always cleaned, but things changed and the others started to help out around the house. And everyone got curious when Namjoon brought it out, there were 2 of them, one obviously filled with what looked some pages added. There was one more thing, an old carton of banana milk, Yoongi recognized it immediately and got extremely flustered. Yoongi was unfortunately able to figure out the code, how? It was his birthday 090393, As soon as he started to read it, he felt sick, and vas about to vomit, dread washing over him, it was so sick. What do you mean when you wrote that you had died and woken up in someone else's body? What the actual fuck was this. Yoongi dropped the diary and ran towards the bathroom and vomited all the contents of the lunch. One by one all of them read it, not the whole way just the few pages. But all of them realized something and they needed answers. So they waited for you to come home.

You came home ready to tell everyone to freshen up while you cooked. But the moment you entered, you saw all seven of them sitting on the couch and their lied your diary. You dropped everything you were carrying as their gaze turned towards you, trembling with a face that show how horrified you were, instinctively your hand came to cover your mouth, griping it tightly. They were just looking at you until Jungkook spoke up.

"Noona... please tell me the things in this diary is a joke" looking at you, pleading for you to agree with him, hands trembling. Jin was next to speak up

"Y/N..... answer him... Is it true?" His voice betrayed the face he was making.

"FOR FUCKS SAKE ANSWER HIM!!" Yoongi shouted at you making you and the others flinch since Yoongi never raises his voice. That moment, all eyes were on you, waiting for an answer.

Your voice was soft, they wouldn't have caught it if the room wasn't so silent.

"Yes.... Everything in it is true.... I did die and woke up in this body... I- I wanted to tell you guys but...." Your voice was trembling, you were terrified of the changes that will come in your relationship. Shocked and horrified, they just left you there in the living room, to comprehend what you just said. It hit Yoongi the hardest since he knew you for the longest.

Everything changed after that day, they started to avoid you like a plague. No matter how hard you tried, hell they wouldn't even eat the food you made.

You were getting more and more numb as the days passed, this was torture for you. You had made your life's purpose to help them, stay with them... Live for them, but they don't want you there, No reason to live... Right? You reached you breaking point when they excluded you from the song you all were working on. That day you returned home, lay on the bed till it was almost time, thinking about what could have been while waiting for the others to return. Just before the time of their return, you grabbed your phone and left the house. Tonight you were going to end your suffering along with the burden you've been carrying with you.

You didn't know they returned early. Jimin saw you leaving, and his gut had this feeling he couldn't describe it, it could be called dread but it was much worse. So he inform the other members and they understood, and then all of them started to follow you, secrately.

You were out of it while walking to a certain building. You've been watching it, observing the time people left it and when you could access it, without disturbance. You reached the building, it had about 12 story high, so death won't be instant but you could take a few minutes of pain. You took the stairs, slowly making your way up. When you reached the top, you started to walk closer to the edge, there was space on the other side of the railing. You too off your shoes, let your hair down ( if you have short hair ignore this line) and went on the other side and just sat down. Hair flowing with the cool breeze giving you moments of comfort before it was all about to end. You got up, closed your eyes while turning to the roof top, holding the bar, and leaning over the edge and then you let go. Suddenly you felt a hand hold yours, leaving you dangling over the building. You opened your eyes to see Jungkook holding your hand with all his strength while also holding the railing with the other.

He was grabbed by Namjoon, so he let go of the railing and held you using both of his arms. Hoseok also joined him to help while Jin held him. You smiled at them softly and then whispered

"I'm Sorry." And then used your feet to push yourself out of his grip, but Hoseok caught you and Jungkook didn't let go.

When they were finally able convince you and coax you , to pull yourself back up on the roof with their help, you did. And then were met by a slap by Jimin and then hugged by him, speaking incohearent words between his loud and heartbreaking sobs, soon others were also hugging you trembling but Jungkook and Hoseok stood a little far looking at their hands. After the others let go of you, you made your way to the two members standing looking at their hands. How could you be so stupid? Traumatizing a literal child because of your selfishness. Softly you called their name and they snapped out of whatever they were thinking and look at you, back at their hands. Tears now steaming down their face as they tackled you in a hug crying loudly.

After everyone clamed down, They asked you about your past life and you told them, leaving the part out where they were famous because you were scared something might happen to them if you did tell them. They were very curious, and you found that adorable. While you were reminiscing, you casually mentioned about your suicide attempts in your past life, and how they saved you then as well, Traumatizing them further.

The other members then told you that they were avoiding you because they wanted to process things and also ask about the whole back story, Yoongi apologized for yelling, telling you he wasn't angry, Just scared for you and what you went through alone. You understood their reaction, and told them it was fine. This raised even more concerns because you are acting like you didn't just try to kill yourself just a few seconds ago. This was voiced by Yoongi and you told him that you were used to dealing with mental burdens alone. Which RM interrupted and told you you aren't alone like you were in the past life. You have them, everyone nodded at that statement and you chuckled due to how cliche it sounded and how comical they looked nodding like that. That night on that roof, all the secrates you kept to yourself, all out in the open. You felt vulnerable but it wasn't necessary a bad thing.

You were happy that it was now no longer a secrete because, you can express yourself more and not act like everything was okay every time.

Its Okay Not To Be Okay. ( see what i did there?)

After that incident, they never left alone, atleast one member will accompany you, everywhere. You want to cook, let Jin join. You want to paint? Jungkook is ready with supplies. You want to produce music? Suga is waiting for ya. You wanna perfect your choreography? J-Hope and Jimin are waiting in the dance studio. You wanna nap? You can ask anyone. You want to practice your vocal? V is ready to help.

You also released a SOLO called "HEAL" which had 2 songs ' My R' and 'Miss wanna die'. which represented the sucide attempt but also a senario where "what if Jungkook wasn't able to reach you." It stared every members and their grives when it happend, it was raw with feelings. The music video replaying the events of the day with some extra touches. Like a devestating screem of Yoongi as you fell from the roof. and some more emotional stuff. It was there to serve as a reminder to you and the group of what you went through together. You also got a tattoe, a mix of a semicolan and a butterfly sybolising new begining.

Every day was the same until.... You got a call. Caller ID displaying the name "Eomma" (mom). You picked up and greeted her, she returned the greeting and then started to ask about your how your music and stuff was doing, you told her it was going great. To which she replied how happy she is and then told you how your whole family was in Seoul and they wanted to meet. You were suspicious because the last time you saw her or even spoke to her was in the hospital, when you woke up in this body. You reluctantly agreed, She was happy to hear that and told you to wear a pretty dress and look decent and the coming Sunday meet them at the Wangbijib Sicheong Mugyo. You told the other members, Yoongi told you in private that he also has the same suspicions as you and asked if he could accompany you along with Jin. You agreed since it would be more comfortable with them around.

Since it was a fancy restaurant, you made the to males wear tux, and you wore a a Gown (something like this or you can imagine whatever you want). Soon you all reached there and met with the sight of 4 unfamiliar faces along with your family. You made your way to them slowly and after reaching politely greeted them with a low bow. Your mother introduced the women as Ji-eun, the man as Dong-hyun, the boy as Hyun-woo and the girl as Jin-a. You introduced yourself while taking seat and also introduced you band members Min Yoongi and Kim Seokjin.

Your mother asked why you were being accompanied by them to which you replied policy. They understood and stated ordering, while holding a pleasent conversation. The food arrived and everyone started eating. You knew something was up because Hyun-woo kept stealing glances, and Ji-eun was gushing how well mannered you were and how beautiful you looked. Then they came to the point which made you deadpan. Marriage.....

You Parents decided to arrange your marriage with one of their bussiness partner's son. The moment this was brought up Jin choked on his drink while Yoongi's mouth fell open. You calmly wiped your mouth with the napkin provided, and interrupted the two women who were gushing about how you both should get engaged as soon as possible, by saying something that horrified both of them...

"Sorry to burst your bubble but i have no interest in marriage."

I mean why would you wanna marry someone when you have dedicated your whole life to BTS? You planed to stay by their side and marriage or even a relationship will hinder with your plans. So its a big No.

You mother tried to brush it off as you being funny but you interrupted again telling them you were serious. Your mother became furious and started to go on rant about how you need to have a good husband and children before its too late and you should stop wasting time. Your brother who was silent the whole time spoke up saying he respected your choice, infuriating your mother even more.

Jin and Yoongi stayed silent not knowing what to do. Ji-eun started telling you about her son and how successful and hansome he is. You pointed at Jin calling him the most handsome man you've met also using his infamous nickname WWH. This infuriated her and the dinner ended right then and their. Your brother drove you and the guys, telling you that he will always be there for you and not to worry about mother, and he will handle everything. He told you to live your life, which not gonna lie made you a bit emotional.

After your brother dropped you off, you gave him a hug and told him to keep in contact. The two elder members had told the others while you were busy with your brother effectively causing chaos.

Your brother kept his promise and shifted all of you in a bigger home for privacy and comfort, but mainly he didn't like the idea of you sharing a room with hormonal men who can take advantage of your kindness, his words not yours. Life went back to how it was.

Years passed and BTS then blew up, and hate for you started to pour in, about how you were ruining the group. It didn't bother you though, it was natural. But you couldn't say the same for the others. They made a firm statement on every platform, saying any hate towards you is a hate towards all of them, as they were a team.

But one incident where an interviewer had targeted you, bringing up all the hate and rumors to try to fluster you, but even before you could respond, the members got up and started walking away, you were picked up by RM and all of them just walked off. Since it was live the moment they stepped out, all the members reposted the statement and also stated that they will no longer be going to interviews like these.

Everyone soon found your solo album and boom all the haters who questioned your singing and dancing shut up. You don't show off in the band music because you wanted them to shine, but you don't have that restriction when you do solos.

Your other SOLO "HEAL" was also discoverd and people started to hate on you again for writing a song so sensitive without experiencing what those feelings were. You and all the members went live after having enough of the contovercies and reveled your sucidal past. This made people feel very guilty but you understood. You alsi made a statement saying misunderstanding happen and its fine. You were loved more after that.

You also made another solo, This time it had Alan Walkers future songs, You made sure to include him since he did produce so the only thing you did was sing his songs. SUGA was also there to help produce since you aren't allowed to be alone. He wouldn't admit it but he was a little jealous that you went to another producer and not him

That album blew up even more and you got your own fan club like the rest of them. And you were happy. But you didn't consider something..... Their developing feelings for you....

Namjoon was the first to fall for you. For him, it was love at first sight. The day of the competition in Seoul, he saw you and his heart beat increased. The way you'd carry yourself with such elegance and confidence, and during the competition, your voice was smooth but carried authority. Plus he never met someone who could match him like such . He was so sure you would win but you didn't, you lost by a single point. He wanted to congratulate you, who knows maybe get you number..... He over heard you telling someone that since you found him cute and let him win.. He left but then you came up to him and congratulated him and also gave him your number. Overtime, the more you chatted, the more his feeling developed,.......

Yoongi, even after being self aware, did not realise his feeling towards you. After getting a girlfriend, he subconsiously started comparing her to you, never saying it out loud. But all the little thigs you did to spoil him, or when you always hold his his hand while crossing the road or when you both are in crowded places. And after you started to avoid him, he would do the little things only to realize you weren't there. His girlfriend noticed, and decided to end the relationship. Yoongi was a gentleman, but it was you you who made him a better version of himself. She realized and ended it, Of course as expected, Yoongi didn't know, or understand why, She actually felt bad but it had to be done. She did offer they stay friends, He accepted and left, And for some reason it felt right to her. She figured Yoongi went to you. The next time they met alone, it was awkward but she finally told him,

"It was Y/N-nie that you have feelings for, not me. The feeling you felt towards me were just a reflection of what you felt towards her. I can guarenty it since i just know that you went to her after our break up, not that it bothered me since its a habit of yours.... You always go to her in the time of need and you always look relaxed with her... It isn't platonic Yoongi-sunbae.... You love her, more than you realize it. Please think about it."

She then left after giving a shallow bow. Reaching home he laid in his bed wide awake, even when his mind and body were begging him to sleep, her words fresh in his mind 'it isn't platonic...... you love her, more than you realize' . Does he? I mean he finds you absolutely breath taking, he also love all the small quirky habits you had. And god that smile, That smile which lights up his world....... Fuck he really does love you doesn't he.... And after realising it, it just started to grow him. Maybe he might act on them, maybe in the future.

Kim Seok-Jin's feelings were developed the most normal way. It became from friends to crush. He was delighted to find out that you would be a trainee with him, and he also helped you better your pronounciation skills, and you helped him with dancing. And he slowly started to fall for you. He was going to act on it but stopped when you mentioned you aren't looking for a relationship and want to focus on being a better idol. It made him sad but he understood. It also made him fall for you more, you passion and determination.

Jung Hoseok's feelings were complicated due to trust issues and past relationship, where his girlfriend cheated on him. So he prefered platonic since you were also popular with the guys, and you were also best friends with a guy, Min Yoongi, a fellow trainee. He didn't want to make things complicated, even though he belived you both will never be in the same group. He remembers you from when he saved you, and how you dialed Yoongi's number instead of your parents, and you two were practically inseprable even during the training. He had mixed feelings about this since you never talked you the other female trainees (you did but just never showed it). But he couldnt resist your charms, your passion, your hard work..... And your caring nature. He fell, Hard. He knew there will possibly be a love triangle but he didn't mind.. Its not like his rivals will be in the same group right? (lol)

The Maknae line fell for you simultaniously. Taehyung fist, then Jimin and lastly Jeong-guk. Taehyung was a normal teenager who went for looks and you were his type, but he started to truly fall for you when you all became a Band. He remembers you taking care of him, making sure he was alright, but one perticular incident stuck out to him which solidified his feelings for you. When you stood up to the manager about his cloths, Taehyung has cholinergic urticaria, meaning sweat and high body temperature cause hives all over his body, His manger was forcing him to wear tight cloths but you drilled the manager ( since you have a rich brother who was also an investor) and made sure he was comfortable. You also carried a a small electrical fan for him. These small gestures were arrow to his heart, like cupid struck him. As these gestures continued, his feelings also grew.

Park Jimin saw a side of you that only Yoongi had seen until then, It being your clumsy side. You were always careful during your trainee years, and even after the group was formed, but he'd always see you stumble and catch yourself, sometimes even chanting 'don't fall' like a mantra while carrying and walking. He found it absolutely adorable, he noticed your silly quirks and loved them. He also loved how caring you were and also extreemly passionate about your practice. Every time any of the manager would give them a hard time, you would be there to defend them. He loved it, He developed feelings soon after, when one of the manager was giving him an earful for something which was never his fault and he couldn't control, the manger who you later called was on 'power high'. You had shut the manger down so hard that the dude quit. He considered you his and everyone's 'Guardian Angel'

Jeon Jeong-guk, a.k.a Jungkook, joined the Big Hit when he was no older than 13. When he joined, he expected to do everything by himself, and probably not have a childhood. But he was roomed with you due to the lack of space, he was reluctent to share a space with a women much less a pretty one. But all the hesitance vanished the moment he met you. You were so warm and caring, even letting him skip out on chores sometime, but being warm didn't mean you weren't strict. You had always made sure he completed his school work, and kept a balance between spoiling him and disciplining him. You were also very cool in his eyes because of how you defended him and the other younger trainees. He didn't feel any romantic interest till the prank that BTS pulled on his 16th birthday, ( this one, if you haven't seen it). The moment cake came out, you immediately hugged the boy, and he started crying, after a while you were calming down Jungkook with hugs and kisses. Jungkook had then told them that, he was scared that his hyungs and producer were scolding him but the moment you said that you were disapointed in him, he couldn't keep it together and was scared you'd stop spoiling him. He also realised how jealous he got when you'd spoil other members the same way, and then went to Namjoon for advice. To which he found out he was in love.

You trying to kill yourself was a wakeup call for them and they had a meeting on your day off, without you. Every member confessed their feelings for you to each other, and realised it was either they had to fight for your affection or they could share it. They came to the decsion of sharing and protecting you. Since they all loved you, and you care so much for them, You must love the too right?

When they became famous, they kept seeing edits about you and another members, romantic ones. They even started to ship you with the Boys. They had requested their then manager to ask your opinion on it. To which you told him,

"I find them hilarious, I mean have you seen the boys? They are wayyy out of my league. If it were true then damn I'd win the loterry, But it won't happen, cuz I'm like a rock between Diamonds" while laughing.

What...... You think you don't deserve them? How could you? Can't you see how amazing you were? Truth be told they are the ones who don't deserve you....

I guess they have to just show you How important you are to them, Now don't they?

Why don't they recreate some of the fanfics you have been reading hmm....?

You'd like it right....?

A/N: OMFG FINALLYY, My blood, sweat and tears like by god it took too long. At this point i had another idea which i will write and almost dropped this one but i didn't want to keep others who actually look forward to my writing, waiting. Its been more than a month, Which I'm sorry about. I hope you enjoy!!! And wait for part two (it will take a while since i have another fic in mind right now) For right now i kept an open ending but in part two I'll write more about the romantic development in their relationships. Feel free to leave me ideas in the comments and how you thought Y/N ended up with the members?

Masterlist

Stay Safe, Healthy And Hydrated

[1343401]

echos of the sea - chapter two

pairing: bts x reader

status: ongoing

word count: 8.1 k

warnings: depictions of violence, death, family trauma, insecurities, mentions of blood

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jiah groggily opened her eyes to the blinding glare of sunlight filtering through a cracked window, illuminating the dust swirling lazily in the still air. she blinked a few times, trying to make sense of her surroundings. the room was hot, cramped, and carried a musty scent that reminded her of damp basements. the sheets beneath her were rough, thin, and faintly sour, as if they hadn't been properly washed in weeks. her fingers brushed against the fraying edges, and a sense of unease settled in her stomach.

all around her, bunk beds were crammed into the narrow space, stacked high with layers of worn blankets and tattered pillows. the walls were bare, the plaster chipped and peeling, exposing the wood beneath. the floor beneath her feet was cold, the chill seeping through her skin, making her shiver despite the warmth in the room. it felt like a scene from some outdated summer camp, a far cry from the life she knew.

the murmur of distant voices filled the air, mingling with the creak of bedsprings and the rustle of fabric. jiah sat up slowly, her head spinning, trying to make sense of the cacophony. it was so loud. she hadn't heard this much noise in a long time, not since she'd been living alone, surrounded by the quiet hum of her apartment and the occasional city sounds outside her window.

"get up! you're going to be late!"

the sharp voice broke through her muddled thoughts, snapping her attention to the foot of her bed. a girl, maybe her age, stood there, holding what looked like a faded tunic. her face was drawn with worry, her hands fidgeting nervously with the fabric. her clothes were simple, worn out, and practical, nothing like the comfortable loungewear jiah would've chosen for herself.

jiah stared at her, confusion clouding her features. "who...?" the word barely escaped her lips before the girl leaned in, her voice a harsh whisper.

"hurry! you'll be in trouble if you don't get moving!" there was an urgency in her tone that jiah couldn't ignore, even if she didn't understand why.

trouble? for what? where was she?

her heart thudded in her chest as she glanced around again, trying to piece together what was happening. the dim, crowded room, the unfamiliar faces, the strange girl urging her to get up, it didn't add up. this wasn't her home. this wasn't her life.

she swung her legs over the side of the bed, her bare feet meeting the cold, rough floor. she winced at the chill, momentarily grounding herself in the sensation. it was too real, too vivid to be a dream.

the other girl hovered by the bed, her eyes darting around as if checking to see if anyone else was watching. "you've been acting strange lately," she murmured, her voice softening. "are you feeling okay?"

strange? jiah's mind raced. she didn't recognize this girl or this place. why was she here? how did she get here? her memories were a blur, fragments of her old life barely within reach.

"where..." jiah started, then stopped, unsure how to frame the question without sounding insane. "where am i supposed to be?"

the girl gave her an odd look, a mix of concern and impatience. "you really hit your head, didn't you? come on, let's get you dressed. you don't want to get in trouble again."

again? jiah felt a cold sweat break out on her skin. the girl's words implied a routine, a history that jiah didn't share but was somehow expected to remember. her thoughts spiraled, panic bubbling beneath the surface. she needed to figure this out. now.

the girl pressed the tunic into jiah's hands, giving her a small, encouraging smile. "let's just get through today, okay?"

jiah nodded slowly, though she was far from understanding. the noise around her grew louder, the shuffle of feet and murmurs blending into a dizzying symphony. she clutched the tunic, the coarse fabric scratching her palms, and tried to steady her breathing.

this had to be a mistake, a dream, or a strange, vivid nightmare. yet, the cold floor beneath her feet, the worn sheets, and the girl's anxious expression told her otherwise. somehow, she was here, in this unfamiliar place, expected to play a role she didn't know.

jiah trudged after the girl, her feet dragging slightly as they left the cramped quarters behind. the girl moved with a practiced ease, her steps light but purposeful, while jiah struggled to keep up. the corridor they entered was dimly lit, the stone walls cool and damp to the touch, a stark contrast to the stifling heat of the bunk room. the faint scent of mildew lingered in the air, mingling with the faint aroma of baked bread drifting from somewhere in the distance.

"you're really out of it today," the girl remarked, glancing over her shoulder. her tone was teasing, but there was a flicker of genuine concern in her eyes. "did you sleep at all last night?"

jiah forced a weak smile, her mind racing. "yeah... just a weird night, i guess." she hoped the vague response would satisfy the girl, giving her a moment to gather her thoughts.

"well, you'd better snap out of it soon. we don't have time for weird nights," the girl chided gently, though there was no malice in her voice. she gestured ahead, where the corridor opened into a larger space. "come on, we need to hurry. you know how she gets when we're late."

jiah's heart skipped a beat. "she?" the word slipped out before she could stop herself, and the girl raised an eyebrow, her pace slowing.

"you know, her." the girl's eyes widened slightly, as if jiah had just asked the most ridiculous question. "don't tell me you've forgotten about the princess already?"

princess? jiah swallowed hard, her pulse quickening. she couldn't afford to let on how lost she felt. "oh, right," she mumbled, trying to keep her voice steady. "just... foggy this morning."

the girl sighed, offering a sympathetic smile. "maybe you should see the healer later. you're acting really strange today." she didn't press further, thankfully, instead turning her attention back to the path ahead. "let's just get through this morning. the last thing we need is another lecture."

they walked in silence for a few moments, the girl leading the way with a familiarity that jiah envied. every corner they turned, every hallway they passed, seemed like a blur to her, as if she were walking through a dream that wasn't quite her own.

"so," the girl began again, her voice light and conversational, "did you hear about the storm last night? some of the sailors said it was the worst they've seen in years."

"storm?" jiah echoed, struggling to keep up with the casual conversation. "no... i didn't."

"you must've been really out of it." the girl chuckled softly, shaking her head. "it was intense. lightning, thunder, the works. some people say it's a bad omen, but you know how superstitious they can be." she glanced at jiah, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "what do you think?"

jiah hesitated, unsure how to respond. "i guess... storms are just storms. nothing to get worked up about."

the girl laughed, the sound echoing softly off the stone walls. "you're probably right. but it doesn't hurt to be a little cautious, you know?"

jiah nodded, though she felt anything but confident. her mind was a whirlwind of confusion, each step she took only deepening the sense of unease that clung to her like a second skin.

"anyway," the girl continued, her tone brightening, "we'll just have to make sure the princess doesn't catch wind of it. you know how she gets with bad news."

jiah forced another smile, her stomach churning. "yeah... wouldn't want to upset her."

they reached a set of large wooden doors, the intricate carvings on the surface hinting at the importance of what lay beyond. the girl paused, turning to jiah with a knowing look. "this is it. you ready?"

jiah swallowed the lump in her throat, her fingers clenching the fabric of her tunic. "ready as i'll ever be."

the girl grinned, patting her on the shoulder. "you'll be fine. just don't forget to curtsy. you know how she is about formalities." with that, she pushed open one of the doors, revealing a grand hallway bathed in the soft glow of morning light streaming through tall, arched windows.

the contrast between the damp, cold corridors and the opulence of this space was jarring. polished marble floors reflected the intricate designs painted on the ceilings, and the air here smelled faintly of lavender and beeswax. jiah felt her breath hitch, the grandeur of the place overwhelming her senses.

the girl motioned for jiah to follow, her steps quickening as they approached another set of doors at the far end of the hall. "let's get this over with," she whispered, casting a sideways glance at jiah. "just follow my lead, and you'll be fine."

jiah nodded, her heart pounding in her chest as they neared the doors. the girl raised a hand to knock, but before she could, she turned to jiah, her expression softening.

"don't worry too much, okay? you've done this a hundred times before. just breathe."

jiah nodded again, her mind a whirl of questions she couldn't ask, fears she couldn't voice. she took a deep breath, steeling herself as the girl knocked lightly on the door, the sound echoing in the stillness of the grand hallway.

the door creaked open, and the girl slipped inside, beckoning jiah to follow. jiah's legs felt like lead, but she forced herself to move, stepping into the room beyond.

the air inside was heavy with the scent of jasmine, and the light was softer here, filtered through gauzy curtains that billowed gently in the morning breeze. the bed was a lavish canopy, draped in silken fabrics that whispered against each other as they moved. it was a room fit for royalty, every detail meticulously crafted to exude luxury and power.

jiah's eyes landed on the figure in the bed, still and serene, the rise and fall of her chest the only sign of life. the girl stepped forward, her voice low and soothing.

"good morning, your highness. it's time to wake up."

jiah held her breath, the reality of the situation crashing down on her like a tidal wave. she was in a novel. a story she had read and despised, a world she never thought she would have to navigate herself. and now, she was standing in the room of the very character who had made her blood boil on countless nights.

she was in whispers of the sea.

yiseo stirred beneath the soft covers, her eyes fluttering open to the sound of the gentle voice calling her. she let out a soft groan, stretching her arms above her head before turning to look at the two figures standing by her bed. her eyes landed on the girl first, and she smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "good morning," she murmured, her voice still thick with sleep.

then her gaze shifted to jiah, and her smile widened, warming significantly. "jiah, you're here."

jiah felt her chest tighten at the familiarity in yiseo's tone, the way her name rolled off the princess's tongue as if they'd shared countless mornings like this. she forced a smile, willing herself to stay calm. "good morning, yiseo. did you sleep well?"

yiseo sat up, pushing her tousled hair back from her face. "as well as one can in this place." she chuckled softly, glancing at the girl. "thank you for waking me, but you can leave us now. i'd like to speak with jiah."

the girl nodded obediently, giving jiah a quick smile before slipping out of the room, leaving the two of them alone.

yiseo patted the space beside her on the bed, motioning for jiah to sit. "come on, sit with me. we don't have to rush right away."

jiah hesitated for a moment before moving to sit beside yiseo. the bed was impossibly soft beneath her, a stark contrast to the rough, hand-me-down sheets she'd woken up in.

"you look a bit pale," yiseo observed, her eyes narrowing slightly in concern. "are you feeling alright?"

"just a little tired," jiah admitted, keeping her voice light. "it's been... a strange morning."

yiseo tilted her head, her brow furrowing. "strange? how so?"

jiah paused, considering her words carefully. she couldn't exactly tell yiseo the truth. especially not when she was still grappling with it herself. "i guess i just had some odd dreams last night. they're sticking with me, that's all."

yiseo reached out, taking jiah's hand in hers and squeezing it gently. "you've been working too hard, haven't you? i've noticed how much you've been doing lately. you should rest more."

the genuine concern in yiseo's voice made jiah's heart ache. this wasn't the yiseo she remembered from the book, the spoiled princess who made selfish choices that led to chaos. this yiseo was warm, caring. a true friend.

"i'll try," jiah promised, squeezing yiseo's hand back. "but you know how things are. there's always something that needs doing."

"true," yiseo agreed, a wistful smile playing at her lips. "but you shouldn't have to carry so much alone. i'll speak with the others, see if we can't lighten your load a bit."

jiah blinked, surprised by the offer. "you don't have to do that."

"of course i do." yiseo's tone was firm, but there was a playful glint in her eyes. "you're my friend, jiah. and friends look out for each other."

the word "friend" echoed in jiah's mind, grounding her in the reality of this moment. yiseo saw her as more than just a servant. she saw her as a companion, someone she trusted and cared for. it was a stark contrast to the distant, haughty image jiah had built of her from the pages of the novel.

"thank you," jiah said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

yiseo smiled again, releasing jiah's hand and rising from the bed. "well, let's not dwell on strange dreams and worries. we have a full day ahead of us." she moved toward the wardrobe, pulling it open to reveal an array of finely tailored dresses in a rainbow of colors. "help me choose what to wear?"

jiah stood, moving to join yiseo by the wardrobe. "of course."

as yiseo held up a delicate sky-blue gown with silver embroidery, jiah couldn't help but marvel at how different this version of yiseo was from the one she'd come to despise in the book. maybe things weren't as simple as they seemed on the page. maybe, just maybe, she could find a way to change the story. to steer it toward a better ending.

"this one?" yiseo asked, holding the gown against her body and twirling slightly.

jiah nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips. "it's perfect."

"great." yiseo beamed, laying the dress on the bed before turning back to jiah. "thank you, jiah. i don't know what i'd do without you."

"you'd manage," jiah said, her tone teasing. "but i'm glad i'm here to help."

as yiseo slipped into the sky-blue gown, her demeanor shifted subtly, a flicker of the entitled princess beginning to surface. she glanced at herself in the ornate mirror, turning this way and that, examining the fit of the dress with a critical eye.

"ugh," she sighed, brushing her hair back with a frustrated flick of her hand. "this dress feels a bit tight. do you think i've gained weight?"

jiah, caught off guard by the sudden change in tone, shook her head quickly. "no, you look perfect, yiseo."

yiseo pouted, smoothing her hands over the fabric. "it doesn't feel perfect. everything should feel perfect." she turned to jiah, her eyes narrowing slightly. "are you sure it looks alright? or are you just saying that because you're my friend?"

"i'm sure," jiah reassured her, though she could sense the shift in the atmosphere. "the dress fits beautifully."

yiseo sighed again, clearly dissatisfied despite jiah's words. "i suppose it will have to do for today. i just hate feeling like things aren't exactly the way they should be. you understand, don't you?"

jiah nodded slowly, though she didn't completely understand. yiseo's world was one of luxury and privilege, where small imperfections felt like monumental issues. it was a stark contrast to jiah's reality, both in her life before and now, where making do with what little she had was the norm.

"maybe you could mention it to the seamstress," jiah offered carefully. "she could make some adjustments."

yiseo perked up at the suggestion, her eyes brightening. "yes, that's a good idea. she needs to understand how important it is for my clothes to fit perfectly. after all, appearances are everything." she turned back to the mirror, adjusting the neckline of the gown. "and if she can't get it right, maybe it's time to find someone who can."

jiah bit her tongue, choosing not to respond to that last comment. she didn't want to argue with yiseo, especially not when the princess's mood could swing so easily. instead, she focused on keeping her expression neutral.

"you're right," yiseo continued, oblivious to jiah's discomfort. "i can't be seen in something that doesn't fit exactly as it should. i have an image to maintain."

jiah offered a tight smile, feeling a pang of frustration. this was the yiseo she recognized from the novel. the one who was so wrapped up in her own world that she couldn't see beyond it. but she reminded herself that this was only a part of yiseo, not the whole.

"shall we go?" jiah suggested, eager to move on from the conversation.

yiseo gave herself one last glance in the mirror before nodding. "yes, let's. i have so much to do today, and we can't waste any more time."

they walked through the hallways of the palace, yiseo leading the way with a grace that came naturally to her. her chin was slightly lifted, and her steps were measured, every movement calculated to exude elegance. jiah followed closely, her mind swirling with thoughts about how to handle yiseo's capricious nature.

"jiah," yiseo called over her shoulder, her voice sweet yet demanding. "do you think the others will notice if i wear this dress again? i can't bear the thought of them thinking i'm repeating outfits."

"i doubt they'll notice," jiah replied, hoping to ease her concerns. "and even if they do, they'll only admire how beautiful you look in it."

yiseo stopped abruptly, turning to face jiah with a dramatic sigh. "but what if they don't? what if they think i'm becoming... ordinary?" her eyes widened at the thought, as if being perceived as ordinary was the greatest tragedy imaginable.

"you could never be ordinary, yiseo," jiah said, her voice firm. "you have a presence that no one else can match. people admire you for more than just your clothes."

yiseo seemed to ponder this for a moment before nodding, though her expression remained doubtful. "you're right. still, it wouldn't hurt to have a few new gowns made. something even more stunning than this one. i'll speak to the seamstress about it."

jiah nodded, keeping her thoughts to herself. the extravagance of yiseo's life was overwhelming at times, especially when compared to her own modest existence. but she reminded herself that this was yiseo's reality, a world where appearances and social status were everything.

as they continued down the hall, yiseo's attention shifted to the décor around them. "don't you think these tapestries are a bit dull?" she gestured to the intricately woven fabrics hanging along the walls. "they've been here for ages. we should replace them with something more vibrant, more... now."

"they're beautiful," jiah offered, her voice careful. "but if you feel they need updating, i'm sure the palace decorators would be happy to help."

"exactly," yiseo said, her tone triumphant. "we need to keep things fresh. otherwise, people will think we're stuck in the past."

jiah followed silently, her thoughts racing. yiseo's need for constant change and perfection was exhausting, but it was clear that this was how she coped with the pressures of her position. it was a facade, a way to maintain control in a world where so much was expected of her.

as they reached the grand staircase leading to the lower levels of the palace, yiseo paused, a playful smile spreading across her face. "jiah, do you remember when we used to slide down these stairs as children?"

jiah blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift in mood. "slide down the stairs? i... i think i remember."

"we'd get scolded every time," yiseo continued, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "but it was so much fun. sometimes, i wish we could do it again."

jiah smiled softly, seeing a glimpse of the carefree girl beneath yiseo's polished exterior. "maybe we can, someday."

yiseo laughed, a light, musical sound that echoed through the hallway. "someday, perhaps. but not today. i have too much to do, and you have to help me stay on schedule."

they descended the staircase, yiseo's laughter fading as they approached the bustling heart of the palace. servants moved about, their heads bowed as they carried out their duties. yiseo barely noticed them, her attention already shifting to the day ahead.

"jiah, make sure to remind me about the tea party this afternoon," yiseo instructed. "and we need to go over the guest list for the ball next week. i can't have anyone attending who doesn't meet my standards."

"of course," jiah said, her voice steady, though she felt a pang of sympathy for the people who would inevitably be excluded from yiseo's carefully curated events.

as they walked through the palace, yiseo's gaze flitted from one thing to another, her mind constantly assessing and critiquing. "these flowers are wilting," she noted, frowning at a vase of roses. "replace them with something fresh. and the music in the drawing room is too somber. we need something livelier."

jiah nodded, making mental notes of yiseo's demands. it was a never ending list of perfection, each request a reflection of yiseo's desire to maintain her image and control over her surroundings.

when they finally reached the door to yiseo's study, yiseo turned to jiah with a grateful smile. "thank you for always being here, jiah. i don't know what i'd do without you."

jiah's heart softened at the genuine gratitude in yiseo's eyes. despite her spoiled tendencies, there was a part of yiseo that truly valued their friendship. "you're welcome, yiseo. i'll always be here to help."

yiseo nodded, her expression serious. "good. because i need someone who understands me, someone who can keep me grounded." she reached out, squeezing jiah's hand briefly before letting go. "now, let's get started. go grab my dress for the party and bring it back." yiseo ordered ushering her back to the door.

jiah paused at the door, her fingers lingering on the handle. for a moment, she felt the weight of the task ahead press down on her, fetching the gown for yiseo, the tea party looming in the background, all of it so unfamiliar. the novel had never gone into detail about the intricacies of running a noblewoman's life, only the polished, flawless image of yiseo that the characters saw from a distance. but here, in the confines of the palace, jiah had to fill in the gaps. gaps she realized she didn't know how to navigate.

she walked slowly down the hall, her heart racing in a way she couldn't explain. the lavish tapestries on the walls, the intricate designs of the stone floors beneath her feet. everything screamed a world she didn't belong to. in her modern life, she had been self-sufficient, independent, her daily routine of work and survival leaving no space for extravagant tea parties or high-society duties. how was she supposed to understand all of this?

as she passed by a set of large windows, she caught her reflection in the glass. the sight made her pause. the unfamiliar maid's attire she wore, long, plain skirt and simple top, felt too restrictive, too much a part of a world she didn't know. it was just another reminder that she wasn't in control. her fingers absently twisted the hem of her sleeve as she walked, trying to push down the feeling of inadequacy rising within her.

it wasn't like she hadn't been in the novel's world before, she'd read it countless times, after all. but those were yiseo's stories, those were the pages that described the action and the beauty, the romance and the drama. they didn't show the little moments, the behind-the-scenes of keeping a high-born lady's life running. in the book, jiah had known everything. in real life, she was stumbling her way through it.

by the time jiah reached yiseo's personal chambers, she was mentally exhausted. she had only managed to retrieve the gown from a nearby closet, hands shaking as she folded it carefully in her arms. the lavender gown was beautiful, just as it had been described in the novel, soft, delicate, with intricate embroidery. it wasn't the hard part. the hard part was figuring out what came next.

she stepped into the study again, where yiseo was waiting, seated comfortably in one of the velvet armchairs by the window. yiseo's eyes flicked to the gown in jiah's arms, her gaze appreciative but not overly impressed.

"did you find it?" she asked, her voice calm, cool, and commanding.

jiah hesitated, unsure how to proceed. "yes," she replied softly, holding the dress out to yiseo. "here it is."

yiseo took the gown with a slight smile, examining it for a moment before turning her gaze back to jiah. there was something in the air, an unspoken expectation that had jiah on edge.

"are you sure you can manage this, jiah?" yiseo's voice was smooth, but jiah caught the edge of challenge in her tone.

jiah's heart skipped a beat. was this a test? was she supposed to be an expert in these matters? in the book, jiah had been more than capable. the maids were like family to yiseo, serving her faithfully without question. in the book, jiah would have known what to do. but here? she felt like a stranger in a world of rules and rituals she didn't understand.

"i... i think so," jiah said, forcing a smile, her voice uncertain. "i'll make sure everything is ready for the party."

yiseo raised an eyebrow but didn't press. instead, she stood, smoothing the gown between her fingers before handing it to jiah. "get me ready," she said simply, her tone turning curt again.

jiah nodded, swallowing hard. "of course."

as yiseo began to remove her current attire, jiah stood frozen, unsure where to start. she had no idea what she was doing. in the book, the maids had been described as knowing exactly how to attend to yiseo's every need, from her hair to her makeup to the perfect placement of her accessories. but jiah hadn't learned any of that.

the only thing she could think to do was unceremoniously lay out the gown on a nearby chair, hoping yiseo wouldn't notice her hesitation. yiseo glanced up at her, her expression unreadable as she stood by the mirror, her fingers brushing over her neck absentmindedly.

"i don't think you'll need to fuss over me too much," yiseo murmured, her voice light, almost teasing. "just... make sure it's perfect. i don't have time for mistakes today."

the words stung, even though jiah knew they weren't meant to. there was something about yiseo's perfect, composed exterior that made jiah feel even more out of place. she wasn't meant to be a mere maid. she was supposed to fit in, be an equal, part of this world. but the longer she stayed in it, the more she felt herself crumbling under the weight of it all.

"don't worry," jiah said softly, her voice steadying as she regained her composure. "it will be perfect."

it wasn't a lie. it would be perfect. she would make sure of it. it was just going to take some time for her to figure out how.

jiah moved quickly, helping yiseo slip into the gown with as much grace as she could muster. the fabric was smooth and cool against her skin, the delicate lavender hue accentuating yiseo's beauty in a way that felt almost impossible to achieve. jiah was struck by how flawless yiseo looked, standing in front of the mirror, her posture already impeccable, the gown draping around her like it had been made just for her. which, of course, it had.

"there," jiah said softly, stepping back to take it all in. "perfect."

yiseo turned slightly to face her, the light catching the delicate threads of the gown. her eyes flickered with something close to satisfaction. "you do know how to handle yourself, don't you?"

jiah smiled, though it was tinged with uncertainty. "i'll get better at it."

yiseo nodded approvingly. "good."

jiah stood there for a moment longer, her mind racing with the realization that she was still very much out of her depth. watching yiseo, so poised and confident in the gown, made her feel even more like an outsider. the way yiseo moved, with effortless grace, as though the world was designed to cater to her every need—it was a far cry from jiah's own existence in the real world.

but she couldn't afford to dwell on that. not now.

"are you ready for the tea party?" jiah asked, her voice steadying despite the nervous flutter in her chest. she had a job to do, after all. and she would do it—no matter how unfamiliar it felt.

yiseo turned away from the mirror and gave her a look that was somewhere between approval and mild amusement. "i suppose i am," she said, her tone just a hint warmer than usual. "but i'll need you to make sure everything is perfect. the guests expect nothing less."

jiah nodded quickly, forcing a smile. "i'll see to it, my lady."

the words felt awkward on her tongue, but she pressed on, her determination growing. she had to learn this world, and she had to learn it fast. the pressure of being here, in yiseo's life, made everything feel heightened. every action, every choice she made felt under scrutiny, as if her every step would determine her place in this new reality.

they walked out of the study together, yiseo's steps measured and deliberate, while jiah tried to match her pace, the weight of the gown she'd helped dress yiseo in still hanging in the air between them. the halls were bustling with maids and servants, each one moving with purpose, each knowing exactly what to do. jiah couldn't help but feel like she was an outsider in this world, every servant around her moving with a fluidity she couldn't quite replicate.

the tea party was set in an open area just beyond the stables, where the scent of fresh hay mingled with the light breeze, carrying the faintest trace of horses and nature. the tables were long and elegantly arranged under a canopy of tall, leafy trees that offered shade from the midday sun. the afternoon light filtered through the branches, casting soft shadows on the ground. delicate china teacups were carefully placed at each setting, and colorful pastries were arranged in neat, artful piles, a feast for both the eyes and the stomach. around the tables, noblewomen sat chatting, their voices rising and falling like a gentle melody, while the soft neighing of horses could be heard faintly in the distance.

it was an odd juxtaposition: nobility and rusticity. the horses, the fresh air, the dirt beneath their feet, it was a far cry from the polished grandeur of the palace, yet it suited yiseo's tastes somehow. there was an effortless grace to her as she sat at the head of the table, surrounded by well-wishers and dignitaries, her lavender gown billowing slightly in the breeze. she wore a serene expression, one that suggested both poise and a deep satisfaction, like she belonged to the world around her and the one that existed beyond it.

jiah stood at the far edge of the gathering, attempting to blend in as best she could. her position was one of service, and she felt the weight of it as she moved between the guests, offering refills of tea, replenishing the platters, and maintaining the illusion of being invisible to all but the most observant eyes. she did her best to maintain a quiet composure, though it felt nearly impossible with the buzz of conversation surrounding her and the heady fragrance of flowers in the air.

her gaze occasionally drifted toward the stables, where she could see the horses grazing lazily in their pens. the thought of the open stables had an odd allure to it. an escape from the artifice of the tea party, the pretense of nobility, and the constant clinking of teacups.

and then she saw him.

he stood by the stables, his back turned to her. the man's presence seemed almost otherworldly, a contradiction of softness and strength. his features were delicate, almost ethereal. his tan skin, kissed by the sun, seemed to glow with a quiet warmth, contrasting with the soft, wavy brown hair that fell around his face in perfect disarray. the sunlight glinted off the strands, casting an almost ethereal glow, highlighting the sharpness of his jaw and the subtle softness of his expression. there was something hauntingly beautiful about him, an unspoken allure that seemed to radiate from every movement he made.

his attire was simple, yet striking in its own way. his servant clothes, a muted beige tunic and brown trousers, fit him like a second skin, slightly worn from use but still undeniably well-crafted. the edges of his tunic were frayed just enough to show signs of long hours spent in service, but the way it draped over his frame was elegant, like it belonged on someone of a far higher station. it was as if the man himself refused to be defined by his clothing, his presence transcending any title or role.

there was something arresting about the way he moved. every step was measured, graceful, as though he was tethered to something more ancient than the world around him. but it was his features that truly captured jiah's attention. the way his eyes, dark and deep, seemed to hold a thousand secrets, and how his gaze never lingered too long on any one thing. it was as if he was always somewhere else, in a world where she couldn't follow. he was a man who didn't belong here. he has to be a main character, she thought to herself, her pulse quickening as she tried to make sense of the strange feeling stirring in her chest.

"jiah, are you staring?" a teasing voice broke through her thoughts, and she snapped her head to the side, startled.

minji, a maid who had been serving tea to one of the noblewomen, was standing beside her with an amused smile. "oh, i see what this is," she continued, her voice light and teasing. "you're caught up in taehyung's charm, aren't you?"

jiah blinked, her face flushing a little. "taehyung?" she repeated, her mind struggling to connect the man she had just seen with a name. "he's... a servant?"

minji laughed, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "oh yes, but you should know better than anyone that he's no ordinary stable hand. you'd think he's a nobleman or even a lord with the way he holds himself. honestly, it's a bit ridiculous."

jiah's eyes darted back toward him, her heart skipping a beat as she watched him talk with one of the other stable hands. there was something almost regal in the way he held himself. the mystery, the quiet confidence, it was enough to make her wonder how someone like him could be relegated to such a lowly station. "he can't just be a servant," she muttered to herself, still incredulous. "there's something about him..."

"taehyung?" minji asked, arching an eyebrow. "you and i both know he's been here for years even though barely anyone knows much about him. i'm sure you've heard the rumors that he's got connections to pirates or that he's royalty in disguise, but i know you don't believe any of that nonsense" she gave jiah a sly look. "i wonder how long it'll take before he asks for your hand, hm? he'd have to ask her highness for permission first, of course."

jiah felt the heat rush to her cheeks. asking for my hand? the thought made her heart race with a strange mix of embarrassment and curiosity. "i—i don't think that's going to happen," she said quickly, but the teasing spark in minji's eyes made her second guess her certainty.

before she could say anything else, jiah's attention snapped back to taehyung as he began walking toward her, his gaze catching hers once again. for a moment, time seemed to slow, and her breath caught in her throat as his dark eyes locked onto hers. when he finally reached her, his gaze softened, locking with hers for a moment longer than necessary.

"jiah," he greeted, his voice like velvet, smooth and low. "it seems you're quite the observer. i couldn't help but notice your gaze wandering in my direction earlier."

jiah's breath caught in her throat, her cheeks turning a soft shade of pink. he noticed? she thought, mortified. "i—i wasn't staring," she stammered, but it came out weaker than she had intended.

taehyung's smile curled into something playful, as if savoring her discomfort. "oh, but i'm certain you were. it's not every day someone as striking as me passes by. i'm sure your eyes couldn't resist a second glance," he teased, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

"that's... that's not what i—" jiah trailed off, realizing that every attempt to defend herself only seemed to make it worse.

taehyung, seemingly enjoying the flustered effect he had on her, took a step closer, his voice lowering. "careful, jiah. if you keep looking at me like that, i might start to think you're enamored with me." he gave a small wink, though there was something more calculating behind it than simple flirtation.

jiah felt her skin heat even more. she opened her mouth to respond but found herself at a loss for words, unsure of what to say without making the situation more awkward.

taehyung didn't wait for an answer. he straightened up, his smile broadening. "well, i suppose i'd better go before you fall completely under my spell. wouldn't want to make things too easy," he added with a teasing tone, as if daring her to say something else.

he turned away with a final glance over his shoulder, his voice drifting back to her in a playful murmur: "and don't worry, jiah. if you're thinking of stealing a glance later, i'll pretend i didn't notice."

jiah stood frozen, her heart thudding in her chest, her mind spinning with everything he'd just said. he has to be teasing, she thought, but the way he said it... it felt like something more. what did he mean by all that?

as taehyung walked away, his presence lingered in the air, and jiah felt the heat rising in her cheeks. her eyes stayed fixed on him, but when he turned the corner, she blinked and quickly looked away, feeling a sharp tug in her chest. he's different, she thought. so different from anyone else here.

"you know, you're not exactly subtle, jiah."

jiah froze, her face going pale at the familiar teasing voice. she turned to find minji standing next to her, a knowing grin on her face. minji didn't need to say more; her expression said it all. caught.

"what? i wasn't staring," jiah protested, trying and failing to keep the blush from staining her cheeks. "i just... i was making sure everything was in place for the party."

minji raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a mischievous smile. "making sure the stable boy's in place, you mean?" she teased. "you're the worst liar, jiah."

"minji, stop," jiah said, her voice dropping to a whisper, though she was clearly flustered. "it's not what you think."

"oh, it's exactly what i think," minji said with a chuckle. "you've had that crush on him for years now."

"what?" jiah blurted out, her eyes widening. she froze, not sure whether she had heard her correctly. years? she hadn't realized she had been that obvious, especially now that she was in this strange new world. had she really been pining for him this whole time? wait... i didn't even know he was important in the book!

minji crossed her arms, her smile turning into something much more knowing. "oh, come on, jiah. i've seen that look on your face since you were both just children. you think i didn't notice?"

"i didn't think it was so obvious!" jiah stammered, her heart racing. book jiah had a crush on him for years? jiah could hardly wrap her mind around it. she hadn't even known who taehyung was until today.

minji leaned closer, her voice dropping to a teasing whisper. "please. every time taehyung walked in the room, i could practically see your heart skip a beat. don't even try to deny it."

"it's not like that," jiah muttered, though her words sounded weak even to her own ears. was it?

"really?" minji asked, her tone dripping with amusement. "then why are you looking at him now, like you're about to faint?"

jiah tried to focus on the ground, doing everything she could to avoid minji's teasing gaze. there's no way this is happening, she thought, trying to steady her breathing. but even as she tried to brush it off, she couldn't stop thinking about taehyung's presence.

before jiah could respond, someone called out from across the courtyard. "oh, hey, taehyung!"

jiah's gaze snapped over to the voice, and her breath caught in her throat as she saw him again, standing tall and effortlessly graceful by the stable doors. he's unreal, jiah thought, her heart beating wildly in her chest. how could anyone look like that?

"he's too beautiful," jiah whispered under her breath without meaning to. "he can't just be a stable boy."

minji's grin grew even wider, clearly enjoying every moment of jiah's discomfort. "he's a lot of things, jiah. but yes, he's definitely not just a stable boy."

as taehyung greeted the other servants, minji shot jiah a sly look. "so, do you think he's going to ask for your hand anytime soon?"

jiah's eyes went wide, and she almost choked on her own breath. "w-what?"

"oh, you know," minji continued, her voice light and teasing. "i've heard rumors. they say he's just waiting for the perfect moment to ask for your hand. but," she added with a wink, "he'll probably have to ask her highness's for permission first. you know, considering who you work for."

jiah's face flamed red at the suggestion. "that's ridiculous!" she sputtered. "he would never—"

"never?" minji interrupted, clearly enjoying every moment of this. "never? jiah, don't be so naive. i've seen the way he looks at you. you're both clearly... entangled in something."

jiah could hardly breathe, let alone respond. taehyung? asking for her hand? that's impossible. isn't it?

before she could collect herself, minji nudged her gently. "don't worry too much. maybe he'll ask. maybe he won't. but i can guarantee, jiah... you're never going to forget how he makes you feel."

jiah didn't know how to reply. the thought of taehyung, of all people, looking at her with anything more than friendly indifference, was... well, it was too much for her to handle right now.

but she couldn't ignore the way her heart fluttered in her chest. not when minji was so right. taehyung wasn't just a stable boy.

jiah couldn't stop thinking about minji's words as the tea party continued, each passing moment making her more aware of taehyung's presence just beyond the stable. she tried to focus on yiseo, on the party, on the sparkling conversation and laughter that surrounded her. but all she could hear was the rhythmic sound of hooves, the clink of bridles, and the occasional low chuckle from taehyung as he interacted with the other stable hands.

she couldn't quite bring herself to look at him again. every time she tried, her heart would race and her mind would cloud with confusion. why does this feel so complicated? she wondered. he's just a stable boy. he can't... he can't be anything more than that.

but the way he'd smiled at her earlier, those eyes full of something unspoken, something intimate... she couldn't shake it.

as the afternoon wore on, the sounds of the tea party around her became muffled, and jiah found herself staring at the stables again. she could see taehyung talking to another maid, a brief exchange of words followed by a soft laugh that made her heart stutter. why does he affect me so much?

"jiah?" yiseo's voice broke through her thoughts, and jiah blinked, realizing she had been staring off into the distance for longer than she intended.

"yes, your highness?" jiah quickly replied, straightening up.

"are you unwell?" yiseo asked, her tone laced with a touch of concern, though it was mostly masked by her usual indifference.

"i'm fine," jiah replied, giving her a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. i'm not fine, jiah thought. i can't stop thinking about him. about taehyung.

yiseo didn't seem convinced but didn't press the matter further. instead, she turned her attention to the small group of guests who had gathered around the table, eager to engage in polite conversation. the tea party resumed its elegant rhythm, but jiah couldn't focus. her mind kept drifting back to taehyung, to the sound of his voice, to the way his eyes had lingered on hers for a heartbeat longer than what felt normal.

then, without warning, minji appeared by her side again. "jiah, you're still staring," she teased, her voice light and playful.

jiah's cheeks flushed, and she quickly looked away, her heart racing as she realized how obvious she must have been. "i'm not staring," she muttered, trying to sound convincing.

minji raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "you're hopeless, you know that?"

jiah opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, taehyung walked by, carrying a bucket of hay over his shoulder. his gaze flickered toward her for a split second, and jiah's breath caught in her throat. he looked at me again. it wasn't just a glance; it was intentional. purposeful.

minji noticed the way jiah stiffened, her eyes widening. "oh, i see," she said with a knowing grin. "he looked at you, didn't he?"

jiah's heart pounded as she tried to hide her flustered reaction. "no," she denied weakly, but it was too late. minji had already caught the change in her demeanor.

taehyung paused for a moment, noticing the way jiah's face had flushed, her expression caught somewhere between surprise and curiosity. he gave her a small, knowing smile before continuing his work. it was a smile that sent warmth flooding through her chest, and for the briefest moment, jiah wondered if maybe—just maybe—he had been aware of her gaze all along.

"he's definitely up to something," minji muttered under her breath, watching taehyung as he moved further into the stable. "that boy's not just going to let you walk away."

"minji—" jiah began, but she didn't know how to finish. she was caught, caught in something she didn't understand, something she wasn't sure she wanted to understand.

minji leaned in, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "you know, you've been caught in this little game of his before. but it seems like he's more serious now."

"what do you mean?" jiah asked, her voice trembling slightly.

minji gave her a sly smile. "he's been around for years, but now... it's different. something's changed. and honestly? i think you're in for a ride, jiah."

before jiah could respond, yiseo called her attention again, and the moment passed. but the weight of minji's words lingered in her chest, mixing with her confusion, her uncertainty, and the strange pull she felt toward taehyung.

authors note: our mc first interact (well kind of) with one of the members !! i know this story is a little slow but trust me it will get more interesting (or at least i hope u guys think that)

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[sluttywonwoo]

instead of you [part thirty-five] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 

warnings: swearing, lil bit of angst, smut (mdni ; 18+)

word count: 2.4k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!

additional smut warnings: protected sex, public(ish) sex, switchy minho

“Min, what if we get caught?” you whispered, panting in his ear. 

It was hard to think straight while sitting on his dick but fragments of worries still bounced around in the back of your mind, vague reminders that what you were doing was illegal. It wasn’t as if you were some kind of saint, but you weren’t trying to get yourself on a registered sex offender list- especially not in Hawai’i of all places. 

“We won’t,” he assured you, “anyone who sees us will just think we’re cuddling.”

“Anyone with common sense will know exactly what we’re doing,” you muttered back. 

“Do you want to stop?” 

Minho held you still on top of him, fingers digging into your hips to stop you from moving. You didn’t answer right away.

“Baby?” he prompted, squeezing you tighter. 

The pet name startled you back into the present moment, making you stare down at Minho, blinking at him in surprise. He chuckled and freed one of his hands to rub your lower back under the hem of your shirt. 

“I don’t want to stop,” you confessed. “But if we get caught, I’m killing you.”

“If we get caught, my career is over,” he corrected, reminding you that there were more important things for him to worry about than yourself.

You always managed to forget that Minho was famous. Not even just famous, he was attached to the most popular boy group in the world. If he were to get in trouble for something like this it would make international news. And Minho’s parents would find out. Logically, you knew that his family finding out paled in comparison to the entire world finding out, but the first possibility was more daunting to you. Still, the idea of going viral for fucking one of BTS’s backup dancers on the beach was not something you wanted for yourself. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t then-” you said and started to lift yourself off of him. 

“I want to,” Minho assured you. “But I don’t want you not to enjoy yourself because you’re worried about someone seeing. We can take this back to the car if you want, or the hotel, or we can be done for the night.”

You slumped forward, resting against his chest and letting him hold you. You didn’t want to cut it short but you knew you wouldn’t be able to fully relax if you were thinking about every worst case scenario possible. 

“Can we go back to the hotel?”

He nodded. “Of course we can.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, none of that. Don’t be sorry. I want you to be comfortable, yeah? The whole point of sex is to enjoy it.”

You nodded in agreement even though you still felt a little guilty. Minho stood and then helped you to your feet. He gathered up the blanket you’d been sitting on and shook it off. He handed you one side of the blanket and kept hold of the other so that you could fold it nicely. 

“Where’d you even get this from?” you asked. 

“What, the blanket?”

 “Yeah, have you been carrying that around in your luggage this whole time?”

“No, I took it from the couch in my hotel room.”

“Minho!”

“What? I’m going to put it back!”    “It’s all dirty now, though.”

“I’ll wash it,” he assured you. “There are a lot of laundromats around here. Now come on, let’s head back before it gets too late.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him in confusion. “How do you know that? Do you keep a running tab of every laundromat you come across?”

He led you by the hand back up the beach to the pathway to the parking lot, turning his head ever so slightly when he answered you so that you could hear him. “No, I just pay attention.”

“Shocking.”

Minho turned away from you again but you could see him shaking his head. You assumed he was also rolling his eyes at you. 

He threw the blanket in the trunk once you reached the car, and climbed back into the driver’s seat. 

“I don’t suppose you want to take the wheel this time?” he asked after you had already buckled your seat belt. “Since you do have an American driver’s license?”

You gave him a look. “Yeah, but it’s illegal for me to drive this car since I’m not listed on the rental paperwork as a driver.”

“You think we’ll get pulled over?”

“We might! I’m also not old enough, remember?”

He grinned as he put the car in reverse “I know. I was just kidding.”

“Rubbing it in my face again?”

“Of course.”

The drive back to the resort was comfortable. Minho pointed out every single laundromat you passed, even after you told him he’d made his point and didn’t have to keep doing so. You were the one to reach for his hand this time, threading your fingers between his without hesitation. He smiled to himself when you did that and squeezed your hand affectionately, something that did not go unnoticed by you. 

The spot in the hotel parking lot the two of you had left earlier was still open when you returned. Apparently, no one else liked to be out late, even on vacation. 

You let go of Minho’s hand to get out of the car and didn’t grab it again as you walked into the lobby. 

“Are you tired?” Minho asked once you reached the elevators. You knew the question he was actually asking was whether or not you were too tired to go upstairs with him. This was just his not-so-subtle way of asking. 

“I was tired when you dragged me out of bed but I’m too horny to sleep now.”

He grinned. “My room, then?”

“No, let’s fuck in my room,” you said sarcastically. “I’m sure your brother would love that.”

“Hilarious.”

“Thank you.”

The bell on the elevator dinged, announcing its arrival and you shuffled in together. Minho placed a hand on the small of your back and leaned forward to press the button for the eleventh floor, settling back against the wall next to you once it lit up and started to ascend. 

He dropped his hand again when the elevator reached his floor. You missed the warmth instantly. You knew the little things like that shouldn’t hurt your feelings. You weren’t a couple. He was too recognizable to be seen with anyone and have it not cause a fuss. Still, you found yourself wishing things could be different. It stung, even though it shouldn’t.

Minho stopped in front of what you assumed to be his door and fished in his pocket for the room key. He waved the card in front of the sensor, the electronic lock blinking green on the first try.

The room was dark, but Minho turned the entryway light on so that you were able to see into the space. His room was nearly identical to you and Jisung’s. The only difference was that the bed was against the opposite wall.

“You’re not sharing with Felix this time?” you asked at the realization that there was only one bed instead of two. 

“Our parents wanted us to, but we were getting pretty sick of each other so we decided to split the cost of an extra room.”

“Uh-huh, and it had nothing to do with this?” You gestured in between the two of you to emphasize the ‘this’ you were referring to.

“No, no, not at all!” Minho insisted, hand to his heart. “I promise, I didn’t bring you out to the beach just so we could have sex. I didn’t expect for us to- I just wanted to talk.”

Your mind went back to the moment where Minho had seemed lost in thought, like he wanted to say something important and then decided against it at the last minute. Was that what he meant? Or were you reading too much into it?

“I meant to tell you earlier,” he continued, “I didn’t want you to think that.”

“Oh okay,” you said, mostly because you weren’t sure what else to say. “It’s not a big deal if that was why you wanted to go somewhere. It’s not like we really do anything other than hook up anyway.”

“Not because I don’t want to! It’s just, it’s not like we can do normal couple stuff.” 

“You’d... want to do that with me?”

He quirked an eyebrow at you. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t I?”

Instead of choosing to address that, you pivoted. “Um, do you mind if I rinse off before we do anything else?”

Minho didn’t answer right away. He stood there staring at you with a look of concern on his face, bottom lip pulled in between his teeth as he tried to discern your sudden change in mood. “No, of course I don’t mind. But... are you okay? Did I say something wrong?”

You shook him off and lied. “No. I just feel gross from the beach. Did you want to join me or not?”

He hesitated again and you could tell he wanted to press further but refrained. “Yeah, of course I want to join you.”

You undressed together in relative silence as you waited for the water to warm up. The mood was definitely different but you hoped you hadn’t completely killed it. 

You could feel Minho’s gaze on you, could feel questions lingering in the air between you, but again he didn’t push. 

You turned around and kissed him to make up for it and he relaxed a little. He let you distract him all too willingly, stumbling into the shower after you with his eyes still closed. 

You pressed Minho up against the tile wall and he moaned into your mouth. He was already hard again, you could feel his dick twitching against your stomach. You reached in between your bodies and took him in your hand, stroking him slower than you knew he liked. It was better than nothing but nowhere near enough and it wasn’t long until he was thrusting into your palm, fucking your fist like it was a toy. You teased him a little, drawing your hand out of reach every now and then just to watch him pout. You couldn’t help yourself. It was payback for all of the times he had teased you and the desperate sounds he made every time you threatened to stop were turning you on more than you would have liked to admit. 

Minho let you think you were in control until he flipped it on you, literally. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he grabbed your wrists and spun you around so that you were the one up against the shower wall. Your back hit the tile hard and you scowled in annoyance.  

“What’s that look for?” Minho asked, hiking your thigh up onto his waist. 

“You couldn’t just let me be in charge for once?” 

He laughed. “I thought you liked it like this.”

You sigh. “I do, it’s just... I was having fun.”

“I could tell,” he mused. “You had this evil little smile on your face while you were jerking me off. It was pretty cute.”

“How could you tell? You had your eyes closed the whole time.”

“That’s not true, I had them like this-” he pauses to squint, “some of the time.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

“I did!”

“Can you just fuck me already? I’m tired of you.”

-

“Is this really necessary?” you grumbled, glaring at Jisung as he rifled through the items on the rack.

“Yes!” he exclaimed. 

The boys were going golfing, and being the good fake girlfriend you were, you had no other choice but to tag along. You wouldn’t be playing, thank god, but you had to cheer Jisung on, and apparently had to dress the part to do so. You didn’t have anything suitable for the golf course so Nikki had suggested Jisung take you downstairs to the gift shop to find something to wear. 

The resort you were staying at was right across from the course so the gift shop was full of golf novelties and athletic wear for your... convenience. 

“These are expensive!” you hissed at Jisung once you checked the prices.

“You’re not the one paying for them,” he reminded you. 

“I know, that’s worse!”

“You know how much he makes right? Besides, I’m sure your real boyfriend will love it on you.”

“He’s not my boyfriend, you know that.”

Jisung looked annoyed. “Boyfriend, fuck buddy, booty call, sneaky link, situationship- whatever you want to call him.”

“Can we not talk about this?” you practically begged. “At least not here?”

He shrugged but dropped it. “You should get the polo and the skirt. It matches what I’m going to wear.”

You took Jisung’s advice and bought the items he suggested, paying for them with your own money. Even though they were pricey and you knew you would likely never wear them again, you wanted to exercise at least a little bit of financial freedom. You already felt guilty for the money the Hans had spent on you thus far. 

You thought about keeping the tags on the clothes and then returning them later, but it was hot out today and you knew you’d just sweat right through them. 

Jisung did buy you a little visor without you knowing. He presented it to you with a smug grin as soon as you stepped foot outside the gift shop, once it was too late to stop him. It was embroidered with a little cartoon quokka on the brim.

“We’re not in Australia,” you said, blinking down at the hat.

“Yeah, but it’s cute, right?”

“It’s really cute,” you quickly agreed. “Thank you.”

“Just thought you’d like it.”

He handed you the hat and then set off ahead of you back towards the elevators. You shook your head and scoffed out of earshot. You couldn’t figure him out. Last night he had made it clear that he wasn’t ready to talk, wasn’t ready to forgive you, and this morning he was talking to you like nothing had happened and buying you a sun visor because he saw it and thought you would like it? His mixed signals would give you a headache if you thought about them too long, but it was impossible not to. It was all you could think about. He was all you could think about. Well, him and Minho. 

You felt like an underdeveloped main character in a low-budget coming of age movie who only had enough brainpower to think about boys. Fucking exhausting, all of it. But what were you supposed to do? 

lmk what you think!! i always appreciate feedback :)

[mazzystar24]

Yessss to all of this! In every way except physically eddie and buck have been carrying their horoscopes around for 8 years 🥺

Also loved that fic where tommy asked eddie for advice on a birthday gift for buck and realized he can't compete. kinda like when lorelai went shopping for rachel and brought back a bunch of stuff that was perfect for luke. Sadly got deleted because bt fans were mean but ughh you get it 🫶🏻

LITERALLYYYYYY Eddie can idk carry a grenade fragment or receipt from when they got food after idc

Ugh the way I was abt to be like link?🤲😔 then read the rest

Edit:

the bomb tech when the gay firefighter asks for the grenade fragments:😀um…sure!😟