Tumgik
#frankly i just made this to complete the revamp package here
thetaoofzoe · 4 years
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Fic: Ethan Hunt Must Die 1/1
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Pairing: August Walker x YOU
Word Count: 10,420
Summary: You are a medic and a member of what’s left of  The Apostles. And it’s not rumour anymore. August Walker is definitely not dead. All you want to do is help him with his cause, kill those responsible for his grave injuries (and foiling his manifesto) and make Ethan Hunt pay. Falling in love with August Walker is just a given ;)
Rating: Mature to Explicit some Violence, sex and fluff and yearning and impetuous kisses, explosions and delicious August Walker.  And, this story is not as serious as it may appear, so have fun reading.
Note: If you have been around you’ve seen the original iteration of this story, but maybe not in its entirety. It was originally broken up into 10 parts as A Month of August Walker Challenge. Now, in all of its revamped glory is the complete story all in one place.  
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Your contact was a pleasant woman. She’d collected you from the tiny airport in Kashmir and on the way to your destination, she’d offered to buy snack food for you from a nearby shop.
‘The cabin is fully stocked,’ she reasoned pointing to the squat building by the side of the road, ‘but in case you want a Coke or something.’
You did want a Coke in fact and you took her up on the offer. Along with a few cans of cola you grabbed other items – chocolate bars, fishing tackle, and feminine hygiene products. You didn’t know how long you were going to be out there in the middle of nowhere, and you didn’t want to use up the precious bog roll when your cycle eventually came.
The woman was leaning against the side of the battered truck and smoking a cigarette when you stepped out of the shop. Eyeing your purchases, she nodded with approval.
‘Good idea,’ she said, making a vague gesture towards you with her cigarette. ‘We didn’t think about a woman’s needs during such a long excursion. Next time. There are all sorts of painkillers in the stocks though… just so you are aware.’
She put a gloved hand on her lower belly and laughed a little.
‘I know how it can get.’
You smiled, grateful to be sharing this moment with her, woman to woman, and thanked her before getting back into the truck.
‘Is there gonna be a next time?’ you asked, sweeping the seatbelt across your chest and clicking it into place.
She didn’t look at you as she started the truck and set off down the road.
‘I hope this is the last, ‘ she said finally and as it seemed like such a struggle for her to come up with an answer that she seemed satisfied with, you didn’t continue to press the matter.
Settling into the seat, you unwrapped a chocolate bar, and with three large bites, had it stuffed into your mouth. The salty chocolate and nougat were glorious and you moulded the sweet wad into the roof of your mouth so that you could savour it with slow licks.  You folded the plastic-coated wrapper into a small square and tucked it in your jacket pocket.
The woman drove along the rough frosty mountain roads as if you two were being chased. She didn’t seem at all phased with how the truck bounced and jumped dangerously close to the edge of the cliff, as if one wrong turn of the wheel wouldn’t send the two of you plunging down into the river below.
That imagery triggered sudden rage in you.
Goddamn you, Ethan Hunt, you thought.
You wanted just two minutes alone with Hunt to make him regret having ever laid eyes on August Walker. Hunt deserved nothing but a long slow torturous death.
Ever since the incident, The Apostles had been split on what to do regarding  August Walker. Should he be left out there and forgotten? Or should his remains be recovered and given a proper burial?
The thought that there was nothing left to recover prevailed until reports that August had survived the fall started trickling in. With this new knowledge, it was impossible to prevent the uprising that voted to scour the mountains to find him. This time, your only mission was to man the cabin in the event one of the search teams found him.
‘Not far to the cabin. Ayami is apart of the search team. You know her, yes?’ asked the woman.
‘Yes. I know her.’
‘Good, Ayami planned all of this, coordinated us, and was able to pinpoint a location not far from this cabin.’
Not enough planning for a menstrual cycle, you thought, petulantly.
‘It will work out,’ she continued and nodded. ‘He will be found.’
‘This is the third time someone has,’ you made inverted commas in the air with your fingers, ‘pinpointed his location, only to run into IMF lies. We are wasting precious time. August is alive and we need to find him.’
The woman drove on in silence for a moment.
‘I agree with you, yes. I agree. But what do you suggest that we do? If not this.’
You relented and sighed. You had no idea what to do other than this.
‘If I could snap my fingers…’
You clicked your fingers and she chuckled, clicking hers as well.
‘He would be safe with us,’ she finished for you.
A half hour later, she slowed and finally stopped the truck and pointed through the windscreen at what looked like a stack of fallen trees.
‘Unfortunately, my friend,’ she said. ‘There is a way to drive up to the cabin. However, it is many, many kilometres that way and petrol for me is hard to come by right. It’s easier to drop you here and you take the trail. It’s only a few hours hike.’
You grabbed your rucksack from the foot well, reached over and one-arm hugged the woman and then got out. She did a wide circle turn around and pulled the truck up to where you stood.
‘Good luck, my friend. And take care.’
‘Take care,’ you said. ‘See you soon.’
She gave you a two-fingered salute and drove away.
**
It was cold that far up in the mountains and the beginning of the trail looked desolate. Securing your rucksack on your back, you began your long trek, and the cabin was a welcome sight after hours of navigating the rocky hard terrain.  Inside was small and utilitarian, but it was more than enough for you. You didn’t bother to take off your boots before falling onto the cot and into a deep exhausted sleep.
In the morning, you took stock of your surroundings. The cabin was pretty well-appointed with a wood stove, a table with two chairs, an amazingly comfortable cot and stacks and stacks of supplies. The gold-painted metal ammo closet in the back was comforting to see and you were going to familarise yourself with its contents later. But first, breakfast.
You got up to make coffee and noticed a medium-sized cardboard box sitting on the small dining table by the stove. There was a note.
‘Your name was given to me at the last moment. Here are some things you may need.’
And it was signed, ‘Ayami’.
You slit open the box with your pocket knife and laughed when you saw the contents. Ayami had packaged not only tampons and pads but several different styles of menstrual cups for you and you felt guilty for earlier, being such a brat about the supplies you needed.
‘You planned everything, Ayami,’ you said aloud to the empty room. ‘Thank you.’
You lit the fire in the stove and put a pot on to boil some water. A noise outside pricked your ears. It sounded like the heavy motor of an ATV and out of the noise you picked out the sounds of other engines drawing closer.
Shit! you thought, rushing to the ammo closet at the back of the cabin.
Flinging open the doors, you dragged out a single barrel shotgun, loaded it, and scrambled back to the front cabin door. Peering out through the narrow window you watched as several four-wheelers and one battered Land Rover raced towards the cabin. In a cloud of kicked up dirt and dust, the Rover drove straight up to the door and to your absolute surprise, the passenger door popped open and Ayami jumped out.
You opened the cabin door and came out.
‘Good!’ she shouted over the noise of the engines. ‘You’re here. Get the first aid boxes ready, now!’
You were a medic and understood the urgency in her tone. You ran back to the cabin and were piling bandages, antiseptics, and other items on the table when three men carried in a limp body between them. Ayami strode across the room and captured you in a hug.
‘I am happy to see you,’ she gasped breathlessly and grabbed your hands. ‘We found him!’
With heart crashing against your ribs, you looked to the man being stretched on the cot as Ayami continued.
Oh God… they found him.
‘Somehow some wanderers discovered him months ago and took him in.’
She trailed off and shook her head. She still seemed to be in shock.
‘Doesn’t matter,’ you told her and squeezed her hands. ‘We’re looking after him now. Radio in for helicopter transport. It may take a few days to get someone out here.’
You cleaned your hands and went to assess the situation. August was alive and badly burned, but gladly not beyond your repair. Ayami came back into the cabin after making the call and joined you at the bed.
‘You planned all of this, Ayami,’ you said. ‘You made this happen. What’re our next step?’
Ayami put her hand on your shoulder and smiled viciously.
‘To make Ethan Hunt pay.’
**
You were wrong.
It didn’t take a few days for the helicopter to arrive. It took two weeks. Although the cabin was well stocked and had nearly everything you needed to tend to August’s wounds, it wasn’t enough.
Ayami wanted to leave and take August the long way through the mountains. They had the power to transport him over land and it was fucking stupid to leave him at the cabin to succumb to something that could be fixed. His body was fighting a raging infection and frankly, he was losing. You explained to her your reasons for why it would be tough on August to try to drive with him through such hard terrain.  He was in a fragile state and jostling him all around in an unstable car could exacerbate any internal injuries. A chopper ride would be better.
Ayami understood that, however…
‘We’ve got plenty of antibiotics,’ she said reasonably. ‘Why can’t we give him some?’
‘Because we don’t know what he has. He could have a bacterial or viral infection and just picking something to give him might do more harm than good. I don’t want to take that risk.’
It wasn’t as if you didn’t want to pump him full of all of the pills you had, just to scattershot the infection, but incorrectly dosing him, in his weakened state,   might kill him. August Walker was alive and you were going to keep him that way.
So you did your best. With Ayami’s help, you kept him clean and dry and in order to manage his temperature, iced. August, however, foiled your attempts to tend to him effectively. He was delirious and unaware of  what was happening to him. More than once you had to extract yourself from his vice-like grip as he held onto you and growled guttural threats of violence to your person. All you could do was try to soothe him and mop his brow and use the aspirin to dull his obvious pain.
**
During the wait for air transport, you stayed up some nights with August. Sometimes you just sat at his bedside and read by the light of your headlamp. Sometimes you just watched him, held his hand and stroked his hair when nightmares haunted his sleep.
He would heal pretty well, you observed, and, without too much lasting damage to his face. He was fortunate that the hot oil missed his eye, although it ruined his ear. But you knew that too could be reconstructed.
‘We’re gonna get you back on your feet, August,’ you murmured on those nights when he was at his most fitful. ‘And we’re gonna get those people who did this to you.’
Even though you weren’t sure he could even hear you speaking, you continued to encourage and comfort him.  It was the least you could do.
**
‘You met John Lark before?’ Ayami asked over breakfast one morning, using August’s real name for the first time.
‘When he was going by John Lark?’ you asked for clarification and she nodded. ‘No. Not then. He had already assumed the new identity and was in the CIA when I turned up.’
‘He was not always like this,’ she said a bit cryptically.
‘How was he?’
Interest sparked in you.
She shook her head.
‘Just different. Maybe he’ll tell you someday.’
Ayami smiled at you and you turned, alerted by the soft groan coming from the bed.
‘Oh God, he’s waking up again,’ she chuckled and then asked you, ‘Top or bottom.’
You laughed inspite of yourself and gave the choice a moment’s thought. ‘Top’ meant that you got to administer medication, clean up his face and check his bandages, while ‘bottom’ meant that you would have to wrestle with his strong flailing arms and risk getting punched in the face. Ayami looked at you expectantly and you grimaced.
‘I had top last time, so…’
She smiled and got up, patting your arm in passing. ‘Then you get top this time.’
‘Ayami, c’mon,’ you protested rising from the chair. ‘I don’t want to be unfair.’
‘Yeah, sure,’ she said lifting her arms and flexing her biceps. ‘But, I need my workout.’
**
Ayami needed to stay in Kashmir to tie up some loose ends. So, you said your farewells and parted company when the chopper transport finally arrived.
You, on the other hand, were headed to New Delhi where another contact would meet and relieve you of your August-sitting duties.
Exhausted and battered, it was just after midnight when you finally arrived at the airport.  Out through the cloudy bubble heli-window, you saw the second contact rush to the settling helicopter. You unlatched an dragged open the side door.
‘Hello!’ he shouted over the roar of the blades overhead. ‘It’s Janus. You can come with me!’
‘Where am I going?’ you shouted back, not moving from where you were sitting next to August’s prone body.
He was still blissfully unconscious and sleeping quietly.
‘There is a safehouse here. You can rest. We will transport Walker to the small plane over there and continue on to London.’
You shook your head and were able to speak normally when the blades finally shuddered to a stop.
‘I’ll go on,’ you told Janus. ‘I’ll go on, it’s ok. I’ll stay with him.’
Janus looked puzzled.
‘No, you are to go to the safe house. I am to continue on.’
You had come this far. You weren’t going to leave August, so you again declined the offer of a trade.
‘Now. Come on. I’m not going to quibble with you,’ you said, kicking open the other door so that the two men accompanying Janus could wrangle the stretcher out of the chopper.
You watched them carry August off and jumping out of the heli, you turned to Janus.
‘Be well, my friend. But I’ve got it.’
Janus shrugged a little and nodded, seeing that you weren’t going to be swayed.
‘Is it really him?’ he asked and you could hear relief seeping into his voice.
You put your arms around him in a farewell hug.
‘It is,’ you said. ‘You have Ayami to thank for that. Make sure that you do.’
You ran after the two men carrying the stretcher. The men secured the stretcher inside and turned to help you into the back of the plane. You pulled closed the small plane’s door and made sure that August was securely strapped in. It was going to be another long ride to the final safe house.
**
It was raining in London, and as the small plane approached, the cool precipitation rinsed away grey foggy clouds to reveal the golden city. Through your headset, you listened to the pilot talk to air traffic control and learned that you were headed to Blackbushe Airport.
‘How far is the safe house from the airport?’ you asked the pilot.
‘Not far. Maybe 20 kilometers. Not far.’  
You were so ready to put your feet on land that you closed your eyes and envisioned a soft bed, a hot meal, and an even hotter bath. Glancing down at the still sleeping man on the stretcher at your feet, you felt a rise of tender feelings in your heart. Not only had your team recovered August Walker, alive, but you had a personal hand in his convalescence.  Reaching down, you touched his face. He felt hot, but not as feverish as before and you were relieved. Elevated fevers for sustained periods of time were dangerous and although he wasn’t out of the woods yet, he was better. You brushed a curl of brown hair off of his forehead and smoothed the edge of your thumb across his eyebrow. Yes, he was going to heal well and regain his strength to be able to fight another day.
Blackbushe Airport was small but efficient and there was a black, solid paneled van waiting for you. You helped the men with the stretcher and once August had been secured, you pulled yourself into the offered front passenger seat.  The driver nodded to acknowledge your presence and you put on your seatbelt as the van drove off.
Someone tapping on the window jarred you from the nap you didn’t realise you had fallen into. With a wet grunt, you sat up, reflexively swiped the back of your hand across your mouth, and dried the drool which had pooled in the corner. Hand still to your mouth, you shifted to look through the window. It was the driver and he made a gesture for you to get out.
You nodded to show that you understood and he moved off. Behind you in the cargo part of the van, you could hear men talking and then sounds of strain when they lifted the stretcher. Even unconscious, August wasn’t for the weak or fainthearted. You chuckled at your own analogy, unclipped the seatbelt and opened the door. Your legs wobbled when your feet hit the ground and you pressed back against the closed door until you felt that you could walk without collapsing. It took a while for your legs to finally firm and when they did you followed the men into the medium sized country manor house.
Inside smelt of cedar and pine. Your footsteps echoed on the hardwood floor as you walked into the charming front room and looked up at all of the old portraits and paintings and decorative weapons. Twin staircases, one on each side of the front room,  dog-legged up to the next level.  You approached a tall round table with a large vase of fresh flowers and walked around it. You peeked into dark rooms and soon found yourself in an equally as charming country kitchen. There was a man in there wearing a black jumper and blue jeans, drinking from a white mug.
‘Ah!’ he said when he saw you. ‘Come in, come in. Coffee?’
Aware that you looked particularly filthy and bedraggled, compared to his crispness, you cleaned your hands on your cargo trousers and stepped into the room.
‘Yes, please.’
The man obliged, saying, ‘It’s only instant, I’m afraid.’
Instant was fine and you didn’t protest when he handed you a cup.
‘And it’s terrible,’ he added with a laugh. ‘I’ve only just arrived and haven’t had a chance to flush out all of the pipes. Everything happened so fast.’
You nodded and drank the metallic tasting coffee without complaint.
‘Ayami, then. Right?’
You knew what he was asking. Ayami was the conductor of this orchestra and she deserved all of the credit.
‘Yes.’
‘Fuck… she’s a legend.’
Finishing the cup without much tasting it, you handed it back to him.
‘I’d like to clean up and make sure that he’s… that August is ok for the night.’
He took the cup and was nodding as he put both yours and his into the sink.
‘Sure, sure. I can do that. There is a room ready for the both of you. Come on, I’ll show you.’
You followed him up the stairs and down a quiet, thickly carpeted hallway which was also lined with gaily painted portraits. Upon reaching the room at the end, he stepped aside to let you go in first.
There was a trio of men in there, that you recognised as the medical team and the room had been set up like a well-stocked hospital room. The lemon yellow wallpaper with its sunflower print was a pleasant contrast to the medical equipment and other paraphernalia. The men greeted you and they all shared a happy look. You knew why and yes, you shared it too. You said nothing as you watched them undress and bathe August, glad that he could finally receive more focused treatment.
‘And my room?’ you asked.
August didn’t need you now and you had to look after yourself. Mr instant coffee led you back down the hall and showed you your bedroom and amenities. When he left you, you threw your rucksack on the floor by the bed, stripped out of your filthy clothes, and immediately ran a bath. When you finally emerged, refreshed, and clean down to your toes, you found a sandwich and cola waiting on the table next to the bed. You devoured it in a few bites but drank the cola slowly as you unpacked your rucksack. All the way at the bottom,  and rolled around a pair of thick socks was a clean shirt and sweatpants which you quickly pulled on. You sat on the edge of the bed and finished the cola.
Flopping onto your side and closing your eyes, you intended to rest for only a moment. However, sleep had other ideas.
**
Sunlight streamed in through the windows behind you and you woke suddenly then rolled over. On the wall at the head of the bed, a pleasant-looking woman smiled down at you from a pastoral painting and you were groggy enough to smile back. Rubbing your face you sat up, yawned, and swung your legs over the edge of the bed, staying there a moment to contemplate the night before. You hadn’t slept that well in a very long time and you were grateful to have finally got some rest. That old bed was a godsend.
After washing and dressing in clean clothes, you stood in the corridor outside your room door and looked down the hallway to where August slept.  His door was closed. The scent of coffee wafting up the stairs alerted you that someone else was awake and you wondered if it was Mr Instant coffee down there still flushing out the pipes and drinking metallic tasting coffee. You decided to leave him to it and you walked to August’s room.
You tapped on the door but there was no answer, so you turned the doorknob and let yourself in.  August was still asleep. The IV drip bag was half empty and the bandages on his face were bright and clean. He looked much better in the warm morning light and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. You smoothed down the patch of  IV tape on the back of his hand and August startled a yelp out of you when he moved.
His eyes were open and you found yourself under the clear scrutiny of the infamous August Walker. Before your inglorious meeting at the cabin, you had never been this close to him. The two of you never spoke nor had you even been in the same room.
His eyes moved all over your face as if hunting for something and you stood still letting him complete his inspection. When recognition finally bloomed in his eyes, he relaxed.
You ventured to put your hand over his.
‘Do you remember me?’ you asked.
‘I remember,’ he answered, voice raspy from disuse.
August fell silent and it seemed to take effort for him to speak.
‘I… remember you read to me.’
Your heart skipped with elation.
‘Yes.’
Breathing out a breath, August closed his eyes.
‘Thank you.’
‘We’ll make him pay, August,’ you said when he was quiet. ‘All of them.’
It didn’t matter that he had succumbed to sleep again and probably didn’t hear you. Ethan Hunt was going to pay.
**
It was fortunate Mr. Instant Coffee, as you dubbed him, was around to cook and clean because you weren’t about to look after Walker and do the domestic duties as well.
As the weeks drifted by and August grew stronger, you turned your interest away from him and to revenge.
Retribution, you liked to say to yourself. It was a much better word and to pull it off, you needed a team.
Ayami, of course, was on board. She was always up for some violence and you loved her for it. She knew exactly who you needed and how to contact them. And, if you were going to go through with it, all the way, you needed a solid plan. Every piece had to be in place for the whole machine to move forward. No stone could remain unturned.
You spent a lot of time in that country kitchen with plans and schematics and blueprints spread out in front of you on the table. The first order of business was to find the persons responsible; Benji, Ilsa, Luther and Hunt.
Find them, and observe.
‘That’s it,’ you’d told Ayami. ‘Find them and observe. Record their patterns, their travel, their habits, their pubs, markets, clothing stores, everything.’
You made sure to have rotating team members on each target so that said target would not recognise any reoccurring faces and become suspicious. IMF was a clever, skittish bunch and the way to lure them into the trap was to be patient and deliberate.
Early one morning, about three months into your stay at the safe house, a heavy thumping down the stairs distracted you from your research.
You got up, refilled your coffee and then poured a second fresh cup. Returning to the table you put the second cup in the space across from where you had been sitting. For two weeks now, August had been testing his newly found strength and had insisted on getting up and moving around own his own. He’d recently been cut out of his arm cast and was able to navigate his way on crutches. And on mornings after breakfast when he could get himself out of bed, he usually banged down the stairs and hobbled into the kitchen.
After a few days of this, you started preparing a cup of coffee for him. Whether he was looking for coffee or not, you always put out a second cup when you heard him coming down. And August was actually polite and thankful for the gesture. It surprised you. You expected him to be this gruff and grumpy take charge team leader who didn’t have time for underlings. When, in fact, August Walker was a very pleasant man.
‘Morning,’ you heard him say from the kitchen’s doorway.
‘Morning,’ you replied, nodding to the coffee cup.
He took up his regular place across from you, and leaned the crutches against the bench seat.
You looked at him finally. The bandages were all off of his face now (except for the one remaining to protect his damaged ear) and the swelling had gone down.
What was at first considered full-thickness burns were actually only partial-thickness and he could heal without skin grafts.
He looked, you decided, pretty normal. Handsome, in fact and you wanted to reach out to touch him.
He saw you examining him and he made an aborted attempt to touch his face.
‘No, it ahh… it’s good. You look much better. Really,’ you said quickly.
He picked up the coffee and drank slowly.
‘Does it still hurt?’
‘No,’ he said into the cup and changed the subject. ‘What have we got?’
Right back to business, you thought. Of course. None of this ‘feelings’ stuff for him.
‘The only one we got consistent eyes on is Luther. I guess they’re not using him these days, so he’s staying put. He’s in the States and looks to have a vacation home in Florida. If he has a third place, we don’t know about it yet.’
August listened and nodded and you swore you could see a little smile starting to play across his mouth. Not wanting it to disappear, you showed him photos of Ilsa.
‘I think, she thinks she’s clever. At first she was darting around, doing the whole ‘spy’ thing. It was cute. Now, not so much. I’d like to take her… if you agree.’
August looked up at you and that little smile was still there. In fact he looked particularly pleased with you.
‘Don’t worry. Hunt’s for last. We’re saving him for you.’
August held your gaze and you felt a thrill race through you.
‘Excellent,’ he said. ‘I want you to do whatever you want to do. I trust you.’
You brightened considerably and resisted the urge to clap your hands with delight. Having August Walker’s trust had made the day golden.
**
A few days later, the thumping down the stairs distracted you from your work. Smiling a little, you got up and poured a fresh cup of coffee and sat it on the table across from you. Then as an afterthought, you got up again and plated a few chocolate Hobnobs that Mr. Instant Coffee had bought with the weekly grocery. You had barely put the plate down before August appeared in the kitchen doorway.
Seeing the mid-morning snacks waiting for him, he smiled a little and now down to one crutch from two, he hobbled into the kitchen and sat down in his usual spot across from you.
‘Look at you, speedster,’ you teased.
August’s brows rose with pleasure, but he smothered his growing smile by lifting his cup and drinking the coffee.
‘I prefer your coffee to the other one,’ said August, raising his eyes to meet yours.
You hesitated to meet his gaze, and when you did, the praise in his face melted you.
August quickly looked away and down at the plans on the table between the two of you.
‘So, tell me.’
He gestured with the cup to the papers.
You grinned, feeling pleased with your progress.
‘Ilsa. I finally got a bead on her. And I will be travelling to her location today.’
‘Today?’ he asked, sounding surprised and your brows drew together a little.
‘Too soon? I mean.. do you want to come?’
August shook his head and suddenly looked concerned.
‘I don’t want you rushing into something.’
Ah, was that it?
You reached out to tap the back of his hand with your index finger.
‘Whilst I thoroughly enjoy your concern, there’s no need for it. Do you umm, want a trophy? An eyeball? A finger?’
August was clearly surprised, and your offer startled a laugh out of him.
‘No,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘No, I don’t want any of that. But ah… I appreciate your vigour.’
You smiled at him.
‘You sure?’
He laughed a little, again, and asked, ‘And your flight?’
‘Coupla hours,’ you replied checking your wristwatch.
‘And your plan?’
‘Delicious,’ you promised.
And it was.
**
Los Angeles was hot and sweltering and you were not prepared for the weather. But you didn’t let that deter you, for you had a mission to accomplish.
You found the target sitting at a table beneath a colourful umbrella at a crowded outdoor cafe.
Carrying several bags emblazoned with names of high-end shops you stopped by her table, made a show of looking into the cafe and then down at the chair across from her.
She looked up at you and you tried a smile.
‘Hi, I am sooo sorry, but do you mind if I just sit here. I am dying in this heat!’
As you were actually dying in the western heat, you knew that you came across sincerely. She took a moment to consider you. Judging you harmless, she nodded to the chair and you collapsed onto it gratefully.
‘Oh, thank you, honey. That’s so good of you. I thought I was going to get all of my shopping over and done with before noon, but you know how it is. Just one more shop, one more try on…. maybe they got those shoes in the back in your size, right? Am I right?
You giggled easily and she nodded, then glanced into the cafe.
‘I gotta wear these gloves to that my hands don’t tan,’ you said watching her. ‘There’s nothing worse than having your arms one colour and your hands 5 shades darker.’
Ignoring you, she raised her hand hoping to alert the waiter standing inside.
He eased up to the table.
‘Yes ma’am.’
‘I ordered my…’
‘Yes, I know ma’am. We are working on it right now, please give us some time. The broiler is currently holding on by a thread. May I offer you a cold drink? On the house?’
You looked at her and she sighed.
‘Sure, go on. You want one?’
Her attention was on you.
You shrugged.
‘Sure! I’ll have what she’s having.’
The two of you chatted amiably for a little while and the waiter returned with your drinks. You immediately sipped at the fizzy fruit drink and put your glass down next to hers.
Several minutes later someone inside shouted, ‘Janie Fellows?’
The woman across from you stirred and then stood up.
‘Finally,’ she said and went inside to pick up her order.
You watched her go and quickly, unobtrusively, dumped the contents of your travel perfume bottle into her glass.
Ilsa returned with a plate brimming with meat and salad and set it on her placemat.
‘Looks good,’ you said admiring the dish. ‘I might get one, but I do need to get on, I think.’
‘You can stay as long as you like,’ she assured you and began her meal.
You sat and chatted whilst she ate and finished her drink.
You were in the middle of a long drawn out story about your imaginary husband when she stopped devouring the rare steak.
Ilsa dropped her fork and you turned towards her.
‘Something wrong?’ you asked, faux concern in your voice as you let your natural accent slip. ‘You’ve gone quite pale… Janie.’
Ilsa’s wide eyes shot up to your face and she spat out her chewed mouthful.
‘I probably overdosed you,’ you said quietly. ‘I mean, you were ten pounds heavier the last time I checked. But you and your hot yoga classes have done wonders. I might take it up myself.’
Eyes bulging as the poison squeezed closed her throat, Ilsa gurgled and staggered upright. The chair screeched on the concrete, fell away and you got up.
‘August Walker says, hello,’ you snarled at her. Then changing your attitude to something more helpless you shouted, ‘Oh My God! I think she’s having a seizure, help, help!’
A crowd began to form allowing you to slip away, but not before giving the thumbs up to Mr. Instant Coffee who had posed as your waiter who had perfectly distracted the mark enough for you to poison her drink.
**
‘Went well, I take it?’ August asked when you bustled into the kitchen the next morning.
There was coffee waiting for you at your usual spot.
You threw your arms round his neck and gave him a hearty kiss in greeting.
‘Better than you could ever imagine!’ you crowed and left him in stunned silence.
**
Distracted by the noise coming from the upper floor, you looked up from the laptop. The thumping down the stairs had been sounding a little less clumsy lately, now that August had finally regained control over his healing limbs. You were glad for it, because it meant that the infamous August Walker was out of the woods and on the mend.
You got up, poured a fresh cup of coffee, and was just setting it down when August came into the kitchen.
‘Morning!’ you called brightly, like the little homemaker you fancied yourself to be.
Well, you fancied yourself to be the kind of homemaker who didn’t keep house, but made coffee and assassination plans. You turned the cup so that the handle faced August when he straddled the bench and sat down across from you.
‘Thank you,’ he said picking up the cup and drinking deeply.
Smiling fondly, you considered him a moment and looked at the fresh bandage on his ear.
‘It’s ear day soon, isn’t it?’
Ear day, as you called it, was literally when August got his new outer ear to replace the one that had been damaged.  Contacts in one of the world’s leading biotech labs had been cultivating new skin and cartilage from his own cells and were ready for transplantation.  August had been putting off the surgery, ever since the fire of killing off the IMF team had been lit. He wanted a clear conscience before proceeding with any additional cosmetic surgery.
August lifted his gaze, but not directly to you. He looked at a spot on the table which was still littered with papers and blueprints and your laptops and a muscle bunched in his jaw, alerting you that he was uncomfortable with this line of discussion. You were never one to back down from a subject you wanted to pursue, so you pressed him gently.
‘I think… well, I think it’s gonna be fine. The surgery will be fine. You’ll have a brand spanking new appendage and everything’s gonna be fine.’
You watched his eyes sweep the length of the table, in an obvious attempt to avoid looking at you.
‘You suffered no hearing loss, on that side, the skin is mending itself nicely and the doctors even said that there was no follicle damage. Those curls will be coming back in no time.’
He scoffed.
‘I don’t care about that.’
‘Yes you do,’ you said with a tiny grin. ‘Yes you do, you care. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t look like this.’
You waved an appraising hand in his direction.
‘August Walker, meet August Walker. He cares about his looks.’
‘I’m not vain,’ August scowled, putting the cup down and finally looking you in the face
You softened your teasing just a little.
‘I didn’t say you were vain. There’s nothing wrong with a man who looks after his appearance. It’s… sexy.’
That stopped him and a spark of pleasure brightened his face.
You continued to lay it on thick.
‘Come now, a good looking guy like you? And you don’t know it? I find that hard to believe.’
He snorted quietly.
‘Do you ever think something that you don’t say?’ he asked, lifting a dark brow.
You leaned in on your elbows.
‘There are loads of things that I think, that I don’t say. That doesn’t mean that I won’t say them eventually.’
August’s lips lengthened into an inquisitive smile.
‘Like?’
‘Like?’ you repeated and decided to come clean. ‘I just said that you were sexy.’
You made an airy, dismissive gesture.
‘That’s not a new thought.’
You felt a chill manifest as a soft, insistent tingling that skittered all along your skin. Everything you’d hidden about your feelings for him was almost all the way out and you couldn’t stop yourself.
‘It’s not new that I’d do anything for the manifesto to be realised,’ you continued.
When August put down the cup, you reached out and clasped both hands over his.
‘That I’d do anything for you, August.’
The passion in your own voice stunned you. Surely, you had once again overstepped his boundaries.
First, it was kissing him without asking,  and now this, though August didn’t seem bothered by your audacity. He turned his hands up to enclose yours.
‘And I reward loyalty,’ he answered, voice low and full of promise.  
You drew in a long breath through loosely pursed lips, which August seemed to appreciate for his eyes lowered to your wet mouth. His own lips parted in response and you wondered if you climbed across that table and onto his lap, would it have been considered outlandish.
You didn’t think about any of that, as you stood up onto the wooden bench. With his handsome face brimming with delight, August held onto your hands and steadied you as you scrabbled across the table and landed astride his muscular thighs with a satisfied ‘ooof!’
He grimaced from the sudden pressure slamming down on his still tender leg and you were immediately contrite.
‘I’m sorry,’ you murmured, sliding your arms around his neck and curling your fingers into his shaggy curls. ‘I’m sorry. I’ll not play so rough next time.’
‘I like it rough,’ said August, running his hands over your hips to grip you close.
And then you kissed him, softly, fully, feeling his lips come apart beneath yours. Breathing him in, your thoughts ran wild.
I could get used to this. I could indulge in this all day. I could–
Then, ever a man of ill timing, Mr. Instant Coffee bustled into the kitchen, and it took him a moment to realise what he was interrupting.
‘Oh, shite, ok… uhh so that’s happening. Ok, great, but ah, you two… we need to get a move on. The car leaves in ten.’
And then he was gone, leaving you staring at the recently vacated kitchen doorway with your arms dangling over August’s shoulders. Reluctantly, you backed off of August’s lap and smiling, you cupped his cheek, pressed your thumb against the dimple in his chin and walked off to grab your travel bag.
It was back to the States again, the keys of Florida where Luther Stickell was vacationing on a secluded houseboat.
**
Stickell was not hard to find. His boat was moored in one of the farthest berths and was lit up like Christmas. He was having a party.
So much for keeping a low profile, you thought as you stepped off of the elegant cabin cruiser that had been rented for your mission. Your craft was berthed far enough away from his that no one in Stickell’s party could see August in his scuba gear, stepping off the low deck and into the dark water.
Standing on a nearby wooden piling, a pair of seagulls watched you suspiciously, the way birds do, and you lifted a finger to your lips, shushing them.
Holding a pair of strappy heels in your hand, you walked down the slatted dock between yachts and other smaller boats.  You purposefully wore a skimpy sequined dress, in the hopes of talking your way into the party. There were casually dressed men standing on the dock and smoking and they stopped talking as you approached. They didn’t look like bodyguards, but just like regular blokes. Easy to manipulate.
‘Hullo!’ you called happily, flapping your hand at them in greeting, affecting tipsiness. ‘I couldn’t help coming over. I just came from another get-together, but I’m not done partying yet. Ya’ll mind if I… ’
You made a walking motion with your index and middle fingers towards the boat. One of the men smiled and swaggered towards you. He held out a hand which you took and he led you to the edge of the boat, then helped you down the stairs.
Too easy.
There were people milling about on the port deck and some people playing cards inside, but not a lot was going on. It appeared to be at the tail end of the party, where people were trying to drink the last of the booze and eat the last of the food before they were forced to go home. You spotted Luther at the card table. He was laughing around a huge cigar clamped between his front teeth and then he threw the cards down on the table with a triumphant cry. The men sitting there erupted in jeers and hoots as he raked in the pile of money from the centre of the table.
Scanning the area you then went down the stairs to the toilet and stood in the dark narrow corridor thinking about August swimming around beneath your feet as he planted bomb charges against the boat’s hull.
The thought of him down there was strangely arousing.
August was stronger now, strong enough to cause mayhem with his own hands, and it was all you wanted for him. You crouched by the toilet and dug about in your handbag, pulling out one of Ayami’s personal creations – something she’d called her ‘cherry bang bang’. You drew out a black device that was flat on the bottom and round on the top. It looked harmless enough, almost like a little cake, but you knew the massive power packed into that sweetly named bomb. She had given you and August a personal demonstration of the destructive power of her little sweets. You placed a kiss on its glossy surface and adhered it to the underside of the toilet bowl.
‘You are a gem, Ayami,’ you chuckled and pushed upright.
You made your way back to the upper level and moving about unnoticed you planted more cherry bang bangs, even adhering one to each of the fishing chairs bolted to the port side deck.  
A chill settled over the harbour. The guests soon drifted inside and eventually left the party altogether.
You walked back to the rented cabin cruiser to find August waiting for you. His hair was curly and damp and there were pressure marks from the dive mask across his brow. You went up on tiptoes to kiss him. August caught you about the waist and wrapped you up in his arms, lifting you to deepen the kiss. Trapped like that against his big, hot body,  your heart throbbed excitedly. If he could elicit such wonders from your body with just a kiss and an embrace, you couldn’t imagine what other magic he could work.
‘Ready?’ he asked, bending to put you back on your feet.
You nodded and tossing your shoes aside, went to sprawl on one of the long creme coloured couches. August started the engine and guided the cruiser out of the berth. When you were a safe distance away, he reached for your hand and helped you up to the top deck.
You could see the lights of Stickell’s boat twinkling in the distance.  And after about twenty more minutes, once everyone was finally gone, Luther shut off the boat lights.  You and August got up from your deck chairs. You held up the binoculars and adjusted them until the houseboat came into sharp focus. All you could see now was the red glow of Luther’s cigar as the man sat out in one of the fishing chairs and enjoyed the rest of his evening.
August put one arm about your waist, big hand splaying across your stomach, and held up the detonator with the other.
‘Two down,’ you said and he depressed the button.
The explosion was brilliant.
Through the binoculars, you watched the boat burn and sink, but August was more interested in kissing the back of your neck and exposed shoulders to pay attention.
‘Mmmm,’ you purred slyly, leaning your head back against his shoulder. ‘Did you like that? Was it good for you?’
‘So good,’ he answered giving you one last kiss before releasing you.
You opened your mouth to say something but the distant sounds of sirens broke the silence.
Time to go, you thought and the both of you disappeared into the night.
**
You didn’t want to go back to the safehouse right away. As nice as the country house was, being cooped up between those four floral walls drove you crazy. August paid for a few nights at the Shangri-la hotel in London so that you could shower in temperatures above lukewarm, and sleep in a broad bed beneath washing detergent scented sheets.
And when August made love to you on those soft sheets,  your earlier conjecture regarding his sexual prowess, did not prepare you for the bliss you experienced with him buried deep inside you.
It was nearly nine in the morning, a few days after your expedition to the Keys, and propped up with a pillow under your armpit, you lay on your side across the hotel bed, a bowl of spag bol, and your open laptop on the white duvet in front of you. You were half under the thick covers and half out of it because the room was warm, but not uncomfortably so. August emerged from the adjoining bathroom, wearing one of the luxurious bathrobes and towelling dry his hair.
He tossed the towel across the footrest by the chair and stretched out on the bed behind you, looking over your shoulder to read the Miami Herald’s bold headline. He slid his hand beneath your tee-shirt and caressed the skin between your shoulder blades. How he figured out that you liked that, still remained a quandary, but you were glad that you didn’t have to ask for it.
‘Oh, dear,’ you said feigning distress. ‘Did you hear about the accident that happened in Florida? Tsk… such a shame.’
‘Is he dead?’ asked August, as he nuzzled your shoulder.
‘Yes, sir,’ you teased, reaching back to playfully push him off. ‘You are not paying attention.’
‘I am. I’m paying attention to what’s important.’
The implication of his statement drifted right over your head as you were too focused on proving him wrong.
He kissed your neck again and grunted when you jabbed him with an elbow.
‘Well, if you were paying attention to what was important, you’d know that…’
‘That Dunn is here in London,’ August finished for you and continued to lazily caress your back.
That shut you right up. How did he know?
‘Of course, you knew,’ you chuckled.
‘I suggest,’ said August, changing the subject and lifting his head to take your earlobe between his lips. ‘We take one more day here and then find him.’
As he spoke, August slid his hands beneath you, turned you away from the laptop and pulled you atop him. You wriggled with delight, and grasping the robe’s belt, you pulled the knot free and let it fall open.
‘Just one day?’ you asked, sliding down the length of his body to ease his cock into your mouth.
‘Anything!’ he gasped, the heat of your mouth robbing him of coherent through. ‘Whatever you want.’
You wanted at least two extra weeks after the mission.
**
When you woke hours later, August was gone. There was a note left for you on the nightstand and in his neat print he’d written, ‘Supply Run.’
You stretched under the duvet and tapped the stiff cardstock against your lower lip.
Supply Run either mean food, or guns and knowing August, it was probably the latter. You were just raiding the over-stocked minibar refrigerator when he returned to the hotel room, carrying a long black duffel which he dropped onto the chaise at the end of the bed.
‘Guns,’ you said aloud, looking up from the chilled box of chocolate.
‘What?’ he asked, shrugging out of his jacket.
You smiled and shook your head and switched on BBC World Service.
Unzipping the duffel, August asked, ‘what do you know about Sage Software?’
‘Nothing,’ you answered truthfully. ‘Who are they?’
‘They supply small business software. Dunn is working with them and hacking them.’
Taking the chocolates to the bed, you opened your laptop and searched the business. With a laugh, you rolled over onto your back and looked up at August with interest. He was smiling slightly back at you.
‘Well, what do you know?’ you said with amusement. ‘Sage is located in the Shard, which is… ’
August nodded to you and his grin widened.
‘Right downstairs,’ he finished.
‘Did you plan this? Getting a room here because he was downstairs?’ you giggled, when he leaned over to kiss you.
‘Of course. Leave nothing to chance, Princess.’
Well, that nickname was new, you thought, delighted.
‘What’s the plan, then?’
August stretched out on his back next to you and folded his hands on his belly.
‘He’s got an office on the 13th and is there most nights.’
‘Most nights,’ you repeated and waited for him to finish his thought.
‘Tonight.’
**
Dunn was surprisingly easy to pick off. You had expected for him to have cameras and monitors and other high tech stuff to alert him to the presence of anyone who came unannounced to his office. And, you were surprised that /he/ was surprised when August quietly opened the thin office door and let himself in.
You stayed in the corridor and watched the scene unfold through the narrow decorative glass panel next to the door.
Dunn obviously recognised and remembered August,  because he bolted out of his swivel chair and threw himself against the wall behind him.
‘I thought you were dead!’ you heard him shout before the silenced round splattered him across the frog poster that announced ‘work hard, play hard, live hard’.
You clapped lightly as August exited the office.
‘Well done, baby,’ you praised him. ‘But come on. I heard the lift bell. It would be stupid of us to get caught.’
All the little piggies had gone to slaughter. All except one.
**
Ethan Hunt was not a stupid man.
In fact, he was quite the opposite. He was cunning and clever and suspicious which were characteristics that helped him to remain one of the top Mi6 agents.
He also had a golden streak of very good luck and August Walker was just about to ruin that man’s whole career.
‘He went squirrely, ’ said Ayami who was pawing through a tin of broken Danish butter cookies from where she sat perched on the kitchen counter-top.
Two weeks after you returned from the Dunn business,  Ayami just turned up at the country safe-house. Much to your delight, you’d found her one morning sitting at the kitchen table having a bagel and cream tea. And you knew why she was there. Things were winding up to the big payoff and the team needed to be as consolidated as possible.
‘What does that mean?’ you asked her but it was Mr. Instant Coffee who answered.
‘Means that he knew what’s good for him and went underground.’
‘Because all of his peeps were getting murdered,’ Ayami finished cheerfully and you half expected her and Instant Coffee to slap hands in a celebratory high-five.
August sat silently in his usual place, thoughtfully turning the small white coffee cup in a circle on the table.
‘Last time he was seen?’ he asked finally.
‘Park hotel, Berlin,’ Instant Coffee read from the reports supplied by the ‘boots on the ground’ team. ‘Been there for about a week, but he hasn’t really stayed one place for more than that. We should have moved earlier.’
‘No,’ said August, not looking at him, but at the cup. ‘No, we want to give him enough rope to hang himself. Let him get complacent.’
‘Do we have time to let him get complacent?’ Instant Coffee said. ‘I mean, the longer we wait, the more time he’ll have to burrow in like a fucking tick.’
You looked at Instant Coffee for a moment. He did have a point.
‘Okay,’ August replied easily. ‘You’re right.’
At that moment, your respect for August Walker increased ten-fold. That he was able to take in the opinion of the other members of his team was unbearably sexy. He may have earned a little leg over for later that night.
‘I’m going alone,’ August announced finally, drawing the sharp attention of everyone in the room.
You reined your own reaction because an emotional response in that instant would have been inappropriate. You knew exactly why August wanted to hunt down Ethan alone. Hunt had not only gravely wounded August’s body but also his pride. His revenge was personal.
‘That’s probably not a good idea,’ said Instant Coffee, obviously feeling confident that he had scored a few brownie points a few moments earlier.
August scowled and looked to you. Meeting his gaze,  you nodded once.
‘August should face Hunt alone,’ you said to the room and then to him, added, ‘but I don’t think you should go alone.’
There was so much gratefulness in his eyes that you felt embarrassed and looked away. You didn’t want August to see the answering distress in your eyes. If the fight on the cliff side had been fair, and luck hadn’t been on Hunt’s side, August wouldn’t have lost. Tossing August over the edge was poor sportsmanship. You were afraid that Hunt would employ other clever tricks and defeat August for the second time. And now that August wanted to take on the IMF leader alone ensured that he would be left vulnerable to losing the upper hand.
You didn’t want to lose him again, but you remained silent. This was ultimately August’s decision and he had made his choice.
**
The two of you didn’t speak much on the trip to Berlin. There wasn’t much to say. You didn’t dare express to him your fears, because that would only serve to distract him with your possibly misplaced doubt. And distraction was the last thing August needed.
When he pulled up to a local hotel to drop you off, you stayed in the car, sitting quietly for a moment, unsure what to do or say. Sighing, you turned to him and reached to cup his cheek.
‘See you soon,’ you encouraged him. ‘Bring me a trophy.’
August nodded and you got out of the car.
Come back to me, you thought watching the car disappear in the afternoon traffic.
Your room faced the Berliner Fernsehturm and you could hear music from the festival going on in the square below. You took a long hot shower and stretched on the surprisingly comfortable bed. It wasn’t the Shangri-la, but it was charming and it wasn’t long before you fell asleep.
The room door thunking shut as if a heavy weight collapsed against it awoke you hours later. With a gasp, you shot upright and reached for your weapon. You couldn’t remember where the light switch was, so when you scrambled up from the bed, you backed up to the table under the window and jerked open the curtains to let in the artificial outdoor light.
The scent of sulphur and petrol filled the room and as your eyes slowly adjusted to the differences in the light you could just make out the bulky form sitting on the floor against the door. You knew that form as the impression of it was etched on your own flesh.
You put your weapon aside and padded barefoot across the hardwood floor, grabbing a towel and wetting it as you passed the small bathroom alcove. You crouched before the shadowed figure and put your hand beneath his chin. You lifted his face to the light and it was clear that Hunt had given August a run for his money.
You gently cleaned the dried blood from his mouth and chin, carefully working it out of his moustache and scruff.
You wanted to say something reassuring, something positive, but you were too overwhelmed with relief.
‘Well,’ you murmured, stroking his face. ‘I hate to see the other guy.’
August was silent and you hoped you hadn’t over stepped the line.
He then held up a small package wrapped neatly in butcher’s paper and tied with white twine. You took it from him, pulled the string and the paper unfolded  to reveal your trophy. Holding it up to the light, it took a moment for you to recognise the carefully extracted evidence of Hunt’s death and you smiled.
‘Come on, you big brute,’ you said fondly, attempting to pull him up from the floor.
When August didn’t budge, you stopped straining against his weight and gasped with exertion.
‘You’re gonna have to help me here, babe!’
Groaning miserably, August managed to get his feet beneath him using the door and you to heave himself from the floor. You struggled to get him out of his clothes  and under the soft yellow light above the sink you examined him. Big swollen bruises bloomed across his chest and back accompanied by several shallow scrapes and slashes. You wasted no time washing him up, patching his wounds, and getting him into bed.
Lying on his belly, August was still asleep when you woke the next morning. You went to the minibar refrigerator, withdrew your trophy and admired it in the morning sunlight. Your mobile beeped.
It was a message from Ayami.
‘Tell your boyfriend to be a little less conspicuous next time, ok?’ she’d written.
Curious, and glancing at August’s sleeping form, you rang her.
‘What’s that mean?’ you asked when she answered.
‘I mean that August didn’t need to leave that fucker’s burning corpse in the warehouse. He damn near burned down the place.’
‘He was obviously sending them a message,’ you answered, smiling gleefully, proud of your little murder puppy.
‘I can understand that,’ she shot back sounding uncharacteristically irritable. ‘But that also earned us more attention than we wanted.’
You sobered.
‘Is this something that needs to be taken care of?’
‘It’s already handled,’ she answered and some of her good humour crept back into her voice.
You sighed and relaxed, wrapping an arm about your midsection.
‘He’s not my boyfriend,’ you said after a moment with no conviction in your voice and she laughed incredulously.
‘When are you coming back?’ she asked, changing the subject.
‘I dunno. Depends on what August wants.’
‘Ok, you two lovebirds hash it out and I’ll see you… whenever.’
‘Thanks, Ayami. I love you!’
‘Get something from the Wall museum for me, ok?’
You disconnected the call and tossed aside the mobile.
Feeling a warm sense of well-being, you re-wrapped your trophy and stored it in the refrigerator again. Climbing into bed next to August, you lifted his arm, crawled beneath it, and curled your body against him.
August had exacted his revenge and you felt satisfied for him. But you weren’t sure what was going to happen now. The mission that had consumed so much of your year was over. You felt un-moored and a little panicked, but when August tightened his arm round you, your hamster wheel of thoughts scattered.
There was time to worry later, now in the heat of August’s embrace was peace and with a small smile still on your lips, you put your head against him and slept.
-end
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recentanimenews · 5 years
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Monkey Mayhem Awaits in Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz HD!
  One of the stickier questions when it comes to videogames is imagining what classic games we enjoyed on older platforms would be like if they were updated for today’s controls and hardware. While new titles are always amazing and exciting, sometimes it can be nostalgic to think back to titles we wasted afternoons and weekends with when we were younger, games that were revolutionary at the time, but quietly faded into obscurity after numerous sequels and iterations made them commonplace or lackluster. Sadly, Super Monkey Ball is one such series, having been dormant for quite a while, with the main characters AiAi and MeeMee appearing as cameos in other games such as Yakuza more than in their own whimsical games. Super Monkey Ball: Banana Splitz was the last “regular” installment in the series, coming out for the Vita in 2012, and titles that followed it fell more into the category of spin-off than they did mainline titles.
    The announcement of Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz HD lit a bit of a fire in me: would we finally see some new Monkey Ball action on modern consoles? What would it even play like? Unfortunately, Banana Blitz HD is not a brand new Monkey Ball game, but itself an update to an even older title, a 13 year old Wii title of the same name that introduced motion controls to the series. Dreams of a new Monkey Ball thwarted, I was still curious to check out Banana Blitz HD, because I never played the Wii version (I wasn't too into motion controls at the time). Craving some classic monkey steering magic, I put in the code provided to us by our good pals over at SEGA and took the monkeys out for a spin on my Switch to see what sorts of adventures awaited.  
    If you’re new to Super Monkey Ball, it’s basically a combination of obstacle course navigation and mini-golf, as you’re steering your chosen monkey (who all have various stat differences which affect how fast they are, how well they jump, and other control related functions) through increasingly wild stages. The goal of every stage is simple: get to the goal and roll through it. The challenge of the game comes from managing your speed and the various challenges that the courses will provide, constantly finding new ways to push you over the board edge or rebounding wildly off an obstacle and plummeting to your doom. The controls are arcade heyday simple: you steer with the left analog stick, and you can also jump with the face buttons, and that’s it; the game has no other mysterious controls or combinations you need to know.
  In practice, this is fantastic, but this is one of the first places where the revamp from the Wii to non-motion controls rears its ugly head: you can’t change or steer the camera in any way, and the right analog stick is right there. While camera controls might have been difficult on a motion oriented controller, on regular inputs, the inability to move the camera in any way occasionally made parts of the game extremely frustrating, especially during boss battles. Otherwise, the controls of the game work quite fine, and the analog controls of steering your monkeys works like a dream, with tight controls which really matter in various sections of the game.
    Players will find themselves tasked with completing a 100 stage campaign to get back the precious bananas from a nefarious gorilla pirate and his cohorts. That’s about all the story you need (let’s be honest; no one came here for a story) as you embark on completing the various worlds of the game, each introducing new challenges and stage types to confound you. Overall, the 100 levels of the game are stellar, and the game plays great, even in the most challenging aspects of navigating the stages. You’re tasked with puzzling them out, figuring out the best paths, speeds, and ways to overcome the various obstacles you’ll find in order to get to the goal in time. In-between regular stages that have you focused on going from the start to the goal, you’ll also find one bonus stage per world that asks you to collect a target number of bananas within a time limit, and the final stage of every world is a boss battle, requiring you to find ways to hit the boss’s weak points and defeat them.
  At this point, I think it is only fair to be totally honest: I would have loved his game wholeheartedly if these boss fights were NOT in the game. Everything else about Banana Blitz HD is fantastic: the worlds are fun, the stages are challenging, and the music, while not groundbreaking, is fitting and fun. The boss battles, however, are an absolute chore. They are a literal speedbump that doesn’t just stop your momentum, but also destroys the front end of your car. Each boss has a different gimmick, and I found them to become more and more of a burden as the game went on, causing me to put the game down for lack of desire to try and get past them after a few attempts. This really took me out of the game, as I had been enjoying the game through the first world and even second world without much of an issue, but the third world’s boss was the first major roadblock I hit that just drained my energy to continue with the game for a while. When I finally came back to it, I have to admit that throwing myself at the bosses over and over again just stunted my enjoyment of the game; for every 9 stages of madcap fun rolling around and clearing goals, I was forced to sit through 1 extremely bad boss fight that felt like taking a bite out of broccoli dipped in medicine.
    Sadly, this is compounded further by the medal mechanic that the game has. In order to challenge players, each world has a medal they can attempt to receive if they complete every stage in a world without continuing. This means that if you absolutely nail all of the stages in a given world, you’ll end up wasting all of that progress with a bad run in with a boss, which then will force you to do the entire world all over again to try again. If you’re a completionist, this somewhat annoying wrinkle may challenge you in a way that isn’t fun, and I have to say for me it was a drag. If you play through without caring about the medal on your first attempt, then you probably won’t care too much, but it still means that you’ll likely have to come back and do the entire world all over again, hinging everything not on your mastery of the courses, but frankly on dumb luck against the bosses, whose gimmicky battles tend to involve a lot of unfortunate and unforced ring outs that can’t be avoided.
  That, perhaps, is the biggest bummer in the game: the bosses aren’t challenging in the sense that they are an obstacle to overcome, they’re instead frustrating and somewhat unworkable messes that ask the game to handle things it wasn't meant to handle. The boss of the third world, for example, would consistently send me flying out of the ring at the slightest bump during his spin, or trap me underneath him until I would finally be flung out in any direction from the built up momentum the game seemed to assign me. The second boss, who asks you to reflect back missiles at him, would consistently get me trapped in the explosions that damaged him, sending me flying too; in one particularly frustrating incident, I reflected back what would have been the fatal rocket at him, only to get ringed out at the same time, forcing me to redo the entire world over again.
    Aside from the campaign, there are some multiplayer minigames to play. Anyone who played the original Banana Blitz Wii release might remember that this game originally had 50 minigames, but the HD version only has 10, mostly due to the fact that the other 40 games required motion controls. In my opinion, I’m not sure if this is a loss or not; while the games aren’t available, I can’t say I ever really enjoyed many motion based games on the Wii, and so these games being nixed from this release doesn’t affect my enjoyment of the game much.
  Instead, I will say that the 10 games presented here are fun little diversions, but that’s about all they offer: diversion. You can’t play them online, and require another person to be in the room with you to play multiplayer. Again, this isn’t really a deal breaker, but I would say that the multiplayer options aren’t very robust; they are basically a bonus for the main campaign, which is the major buying point for the overall package. While I had fun playing the multiplayer and minigames with my partner, I certainly wouldn’t break out Banana Blitz HD just to play them again.
    Overall, I think I’m split on Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz HD. I enjoy the overall gameplay in the 100 stages, and just wish the boss battles weren’t there. But the stuff that is there is fun and fast, allowing you to get a taste of the original magic that is Monkey Ball. Perhaps Banana Blitz HD will be a sign that SEGA is interested in starting up new Monkey Ball projects, so I hope that they will consider doing so; seeing one that takes advantage of modern controls and systems would be absolutely amazing. Until then, I’ll certainly consider playing parts of Banana Blitz HD again when the nostalgia for monkey magic strikes, but I can’t say this is the Monkey Ball game I want; it’s just the one I have right now.
  REVIEW ROUNDUP:
+ Fun racing and puzzle solving mix of Monkey Ball magic. + Game runs and looks great on modern hardware with no slowdown or framerate issues. +/- Controls are good, although limited; a camera control would have been a godsend. - Boss fights are an absolute drag and takes the fun out of the campaign experience.
  Are you a Monkey Ball maniac? Did you play the original Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz? Let us know what you think of the game in the comments!
    ----
Nicole is a features writer and editor for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries
Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!
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britesparc · 6 years
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Weekend Top Ten #358
Top Ten Things That Look Cool in 2019
After last week’s trip down memory lane, stopping in all of 2018’s laybys for a wee, I'm turning my attention to the coming year. 2018 was, in a lot of ways, great; can 2019 top it? I mean, for a start, we might see the back of both Trump and Brexit, although I admit in both cases that’s probably a long shot; Brexit might even end up consuming the entire world like that little black hole thing they fire at Vulcan in Star Trek. But I remain an optimist, and I think even these twin evils can be vanquished. But, really, I'm meant to be talking about fun entertainment-y type stuff. Otherwise I'd fill these things with “aww, my little girl starts school” or “boy, I hope I don’t contract Ebola”.
So! What could be better than the year that brought us the end of IDW’s Transformers comics and the biggest Avengers movie of all time? How about a year that brings us the start of a new range of IDW Transformers comics and an even bigger Avengers movie, AND a Star War?
So. 2019. Ten things. Don’t disappoint me, you fickle time bastard.
Ends of an eras: look, in 2019, a Star Wars trilogy ends. Not only that, but it’s the end of a trilogy of trilogies; arguably the culmination of a story begun over forty years ago and which has changed cinema irrevocably, more than once. And that is not even the most exciting film released in 2019. Avengers: Endgame and Star Wars Episode IX are two of the biggest, most exciting-looking, most-anticipated films of my entire life, and they come out merely months apart. I can’t get over it. It's ridiculous. Literally nothing else comes close to generating the buzz I get from these two films. Disney owns my soul.
Animation showdown: if further proof were needed vis-a-vis Disney and soul-owning, there is also a battle of the animation superpowers when Pixar’s brightest goes up against Disney Animation’s biggest. Toy Story 4 and Frozen 2 both come out in 2019. Despite all three Toy Storys being better than Frozen, I'm probably more excited to return to Arendelle than to Bonnie’s toybox; we have three perfect Toy Story films already, and I just can’t believe that a fourth will be anything other than a disappointment, even if it’s really very good. A sequel to Frozen still has a North Mountain to climb, but I'm more comfortable with it being less of a masterpiece. As to which will make more money? I reckon if it’s good, if there’s a wind behind it, and if Star Wars doesn’t hoover up too much airspace, Frozen 2 could be not only the biggest animated movie of all time but maybe – just maybe – the first animation to hit $2 billion.
Next-gen now: well, not now exactly; more likely 2020. But all things being equal 2019 will see the first concrete details – maybe even names?! - of the successor consoles to the PS4 and Xbox One. I’m really interested in seeing where they go from here: game streaming? Integrated VR? 8k? Beyond the grunt and gimmicks, I'd like to see a next-gen that offered gameplay-improving abilities such as deformable scenery, vast crowds, destructible cities, water and flame physics, rather than just sexier graphics or even more Ds to make H. All the same, I'm really excited to see how it all pans out.
It never ends: as one door closes, so another transforms into a giant robotic dinosaur and breathes fire. Yes, coming soon to a comic store near you, is IDW’s revamped and rebooted Transformers universe. Streamlined, bereft of around 13 years of continuity, potentially excluded from the wider universe of Hasbro properties, we have (yet) another origin of everyone’s favourite robots in disguise (sorry, Go-Bots). The idea to set the story on Cybertron, pre-war, is a good one, and seeing newer characters like Windblade take their rightful place in Transformers lore is delightful (I hope we see other comics-originated characters like Nautica and Aileron before too long). My only reservation (other than, y’know, this series following my favourite series of all time) is that some of the best Transformers stories ever told were about pre-war Cybertron, and specifically Megatron’s ideology and subsequent formation of the Decepticons. I’m still really excited, but can this possibly come close to living up to what came before?
Discovering Picard: two Star Trek shows in one year? What is this, 1996?! But it’s (probably going to be) true: season 2 of Discovery starts very soon, bringing with it Pike, Spock, and the Enterprise. Truth be told, although I dug Disco, it didn’t feel quite as “Star Trek-y" as it could have, and trying to square its continuity circles gave me a headache. How its darker take on the Federation’s history will impinge on characters we already know gives me pause. I’m much more excited – although likewise much more nervous – about Patrick Stewart’s return to the franchise in the currently-untitled Picard spin-off. Next Generation is my favourite Trek flavour, so catching up with probably my favourite character and seeing how the universe has evolved beyond the ending of Nemesis is – wait for it – engaging. See what I did there?
Get ready, Agent: I’ve been looking forward to a new Crackdown for years. Not just since Crackdown 3’s announcement in (wow!) 2014; I’ve been hoping and wishing and praying since Crackdown 2 (which, weirdly, I never really got into). Off the top of my head, I can’t really think of another announced game in 2019 which I'm really excited for; just as well, as I’ve still got Mass Effect: Andromeda, Red Dead Redemption 2, and Gears of War 4 to complete. But I love the superheroic verticality of Crackdown, the tower-climbing, orb-collecting, minivan-throwing power you feel. The second-to-second gameplay in the first game is one of my top gaming experiences of all time, right up there with Halo in terms of sheer enjoyment rush. I’m disappointed the freeform destruction appears cordoned off in a multiplayer arena, and the game doesn’t appear to have evolved much since 2007, plus it’s had a protracted and apparently difficult development... but I love Crackdown, so I'm keeping everything crossed.
Strang3r: I missed Stranger Things this year. Whilst perhaps not quite reaching the heights of the first season, Stranger Things 2 was more consistent for me, building from episode to episode and feeling like a more complete package (the slightly dodgy Eleven-in-the-big-city story notwithstanding). So I'm really looking forward to Part 3. Moving out of its spooky Halloween comfort zone is a bold move, but perhaps allows for some delightful blockbuster thrills. It'll be interesting to see how the young cast fare as they get older, and hopefully they’ll continue to put David Harbour and Winona Ryder closer to the action.
Literate TV: there are a number of Capital-B-Big adaptations of books coming to the small screen this year: Good Omens (which I'm reading at the moment), His Dark Materials (which is one of my favourite books), and Catch-22 (which is also rather good). This is to say nothing of the Gatiss & Moffat Dracula adaptation, which may still sneak in at the end of the year. Although my TV backlog is ridiculous at the moment – including most of the Marvel Netflix stuff, the last couple Maniacs, Sabrina, Lost in Space, and fellow Gaiman adaptation American Gods – these all sound rather fantastic, and I can’t wait.
Livewood: speaking of classic TV... I can’t believe it’s actually happening, but the Deadwood movie is apparently coming out this year. Deadwood is phenomenal, one of my favourite shows of all time, cut down far too soon, and it’s so, so good that they’re finally being allowed to finish their story. I’m worried, naturally, as I often am when classics are revisited; but truth be told I'm more worried about how I'm going to watch it as it’s all HBO. Presumably it’ll be on Sky or something.
Gelflings-a-go-go: what’s this? More TV? Bloody hell, how on Earth am I going to finish writing my book?! To say nothing of completing Red Dead! Anyway, this is another Netflix biggie: a prequel/continuation/spin-off/whatever of beloved 80s puppet curio The Dark Crystal, the weirdest and creepiest kids’ movie ever made. I'm fascinated to see how they build upon what Jim Henson created, especially as I believe it was a very personal movie for him. Also: have you seen the cast list?! Blimey!
All that, and I still didn’t get round to the other superhero films (including two Captain Marvels – or Captains Marvel?), the return of Alan Partridge, the frankly-tragic-looking (in a good way) conclusion of the How to Train Your Dragon trilogy, DC’s young-reader-friendly Wonder Comics, and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. There are an awful lot of things to look forward to this year, even if the rest of the world is getting all Children of Men on us.
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