#freaky little pets: nominations

[companion-showdown]

we are deviating from companion tournaments for a bit to judge Doctor Who's

Freaky Little Pets

(this has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting to include a certain sandbeast, i swear)

The current contestant list is:

The Slyther (Dalek Invasion of Earth)

Sandy the Sandbeast (The Rescue)

Zombo the Zarbi (The Web Planet)

The Chumblies (Galaxy 4)

HiFi (Steven's stuffed panda)

Aggedor (Curse/Monster of Peladon)

The Drashigs (Carnival of Monsters)

The Clam (Genesis of the Daleks)

K9

The Shrivenzale (The Ribos Operation)

Fifi (The Happiness Patrol)

Spider robots (The End of the World)

Arthur the horse from The Girl in the Fireplace

Rose the dog (Rise of the Cybermen/The Age of Steel)

The cat that vanished in Fear Her

Cybershades

Gadget Gadget (The Waters of Mars)

The Triceratops (Dinosaurs on a Spaceship)

Mr Sweet (The Crimson Horror)

Handles

The T-Rex (Deep Breath - the Doctor world have so it counts)

The beatles in Knock Knock

Myfanwy the Pterodactyl (Torchwood)

Janet the Weevil

Wolsey (everyone here and after is from the EU)

Rose-the-cat

Antranak

Bernard Socks

Group Marshal

Lynx

Splinx

Keepsake's Vulture

Jasper and Stewart

2-2

Grandfather's shadow

Gramps

Ramsay the Vortisaur

Fred the Eternal Snail

Marmaduke

The Butterfly Room

Mina the cat and her kittens

Vampire squirrels

Darwin

We are playing fast and loose with the definitions of every word in the title, contestants do not have to be freaky, they can be normal, standard, earthly pets, they do not have to be little, horrible giant monsters are welcome, if you can justify calling them a pet its fine

any creatures that any characters make friends with or look after in some way are welcome, go wild

the only rules (that I probably don't have to explicitly state, but I will anyway) are that

submissions absolutely cannot have a level of intelligence comparable to humans. Animal-like intelligences only. (K9 is the exception to this because he is a robot dog)

should be treated well by the people you are claiming they are pets of, so, for example, you can't have the whale under the thames in Thin Ice

Some items on this list are from stories I have not seen in a while, so potentially won't meet these rules. If that is the case please let me know so I can remove them

Nominations will close 19:15 BST (UTC+1) tomorrow (27/09)

(also when the time comes you will vote Sandy or I will delete this blog and you will never see a companion tournament again for as long as you live (<- this is a joke but please let my beloved sandy do well))

[magneticmaguk]

Readers recommend playlist: songs about hedonism

Here is this week’s playlist of songs picked by a reader from your suggestions, after last week’s callout. Read more about how our weekly Readers recommend series works at the end of the piece.

There were two prime considerations for inclusion on the list this week. It occurred to me early on that while there were plenty of lyrics suggested which simply referenced drink, drugs or general over-consumption, it would be more appropriate if a song contained some sort of exhortation to indulge in such excess. It took slightly longer for the penny to drop that given this week’s topic, I didn’t need to spend as much time as usual worrying about whether anyone other than me would enjoy the selections.

This realisation lets me kick off the playlist with a personal favourite, disregarding the ethical dilemma of whether to overlook the potentially controversial practice of “guru-pandering”. I didn’t find it to be a dilemma at all, quite the reverse, so share in the anticipation of Blackberry Smoke, who, with working week over, have crammed their icebox with beer and tequila and are heading out on the road in search of enjoyment on Good One Comin’ On.

Strong drink and skinny dipping is one thing – well, two things – but the Pet Shop Boys have an even more lavish spectacle in prospect with The Sodom and Gomorrah Show:

It’s got everything you need for your complete Entertainment and instruction Sun, sex, sin, divine intervention, Death and destruction The Sodom and Gomorrah show

Now, while there’s a place for a big-budget affair, the determined hedonist must persist even when fiscally constrained. “Let’s have a party though the money’s all spent” say Dean and Jean in Hey Jean Hey Dean. Upbeat encouragement, that’s the key.

In what also seems to be a relatively frugal evening, Tove Lo informs us on Habits (Stay High):

I eat my dinner in the bath tub Then I go to sex clubs Watching freaky people Getting it on

Nothing wrong with dipping a toe in the water, as it were. Which brings us to Little Feat. They may have a solution to the lifestyle funding problem, pawning their watches to “lose it all” at the Spanish Moon:

There’s whiskey, and bad cocaine Poison get you just the same And if that don’t kill you soon The women will down at the Spanish Moon

Oddly enough, the very type of act I’d expect to be playing at the Spanish Moon was also suggested – Orchestra Harlow. “A funky, grinding slice of big band latin/salsa groove from the Fania legends...” says nilpferd, nominating Freak Off for its “lyrical euphemisms, plenty of groaning, orgasmic horn stabs ... and a climactic playout with prolonged hand-clapping.” You’d definitely need a drink after that sort of performance.

Lack of self restraint can be fraught with danger, and decent stamina levels are key to getting through the proceedings, especially if, like Lionel Richie on All Night Long (All Night), you’re going to party, Karamu and fiesta forever.

As a point of interest, apparently Karamu is either a Swahili feast or a small tree from New Zealand, so there’s something to suit most tastes there ...

Next up, Let’s Pretend We’re Bunny Rabbits by the Magnetic Fields:

And when we’ve had a couple of beers We’ll put on bunny suits I long to nibble your ears And do what bunnies do

In my top nomination of the week, reader maldoror46 says of that: “Sounds like my idea of a good time, anyway.”

This underlines that hedonism is as much about ticking a favourite box as relentlessly striving to tick every available box. If the latter course is preferred – a Rock’n’roll Lifestyle – then there have to be repercussions, warn Cake:

Ageing black leather and hospital bills Tattoo removal and dozens of pills Your liver pays dearly now for youthful magic moments But rock on completely with some brand new components...

An echo of the effects of excess also appears in The Shy Retirer by Arab Strap.

Here, have you tried the blue ones I hear he’s got some new ones Sleep is not an option tonight

Reader Dougal describes this as “specialising in the seedy, despairing side of hedonism.” Indeed. And when you’re on that side, what you probably want – although might not need – is a fellow sybarite to banish thoughts of curtailing the festivities – Richmond Fontaine indulges with Let’s Hit One More Place:

Let’s hit one more place before we go home Let’s go in when it’s dark and come out with the sun I know we’ll be wrecked all day we’ll be broke and undone But let’s hit one more place

In summary then, the risks of excessive pleasure-seeking include organ failure, poverty and eventual destruction. Is there any consequence that might dissuade the potential hedonist from such a path? Withdrawing car privileges – as the protagonist laments in the Beach Boys’ Fun, Fun, Fun. That’s guaranteed to work.

New theme: how to join in

The new theme will be announced at 8pm (BST) on Thursday 11 May. You have until 11pm on Monday 15 May to submit nominations.

Here is a reminder of some of the guidelines for readers recommend:

If you have a good theme idea, or you would like to volunteer to compile a playlist from readers’ suggestions and write a blog about it, please email matthew.holmes@theguardian.com.

There is a wealth of data on RR, including the songs that are “zedded”, at the Marconium. It also tells you the meaning of “zedded”, “donds” and other strange words used by RR regulars.

Many RR regulars also congregate at the ’Spill blog.

[companion-showdown]

I'd like to please suggest some more pets from Vampire Science! First, there's Carolyn's pet cat Mina and her kittens who are responsible for this amazing line: "By now [the Doctor] had one kitten balancing on his head, two tussling in his lap, and one attempting to clamber up his waistcoat."

Then I'd also like to suggest Slake's roughly twenty vampire squirrels. He calls them his servants because he's a loser.

Thanks!

.

[companion-showdown]

Can I submit Rose the dog from "Rise of the Cybermen"? I know it was just a terrible joke to crush our hearts but she does look very polite

yes absolutely

[companion-showdown]

Handles 4 Freaky Little Pet 💪 I'd argue that his intelligence level is lower than K9 and although he is kinda humanoid, according to tardis wiki there's no more human in there, also to quote the wiki: "Handles became the only constant companion of the Doctor during his self-imposed exile on Trenzalore protecting the town of Christmas, during which period he eventually developed an irreparable fault and died, leaving the Doctor devastated." sounds like a pet to me 😢

.

[companion-showdown]

it's been awhile since I've seen the episode so I'm not sure if they meet the criteria but could I nominate the Chumblies from Galaxy 4? just trying to get as many Vicki pets into the running as i can

truly pushing the limits, but yes

[companion-showdown]

Would cybershades count? As pets to the cybermen and Miss Hartigan?

i did think about the cybershades when i made the initial list, so yeah, will add them

[companion-showdown]

I'm guessing the butterfly room doesn't count.

i'm actually happy to include them

[companion-showdown]

Gadget Gadget from Waters of Mars!

.

[companion-showdown]

FRED THE ETERNAL SNAIL!!!!!!!!!!

will add him

[companion-showdown]

Ramsay the Vortisaur from the eighth doctor and Charlie’s audio adventure Storm Warning (literally leaves like the next episode but he has a special place in my heart)

yep, only having one appearance is a non-issue, makes up the bulk of the tournament in fact

[companion-showdown]

Wolsey the Cat

Rose the Cat

Doctor the Cat

Antranak the Cat

Bernard Socks the Cat

Fester Cat the Cat

Group Marshal Cat the Cat

Lynx the TARDIS/Badge Cat (image on the page https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Cat%27s_Cradle_(unproduced_TV_story))

Splinx the Robot Cat

Myfanwy the Pterodactyl

Keepsake's vulture

Jasper and Stewart the Fledershrews

Janet the Weevil

Lego Scooby Doo the Lego Dog (appears in Lego Dimensions in which the Twelfth Doctor Plays a Major role)

2-2 the Robot Dog (Trans Dorthy’s pet robot dog (used to be called K9 Mark 5)

The Grandfather’s Shadow.

These are my submissions pick and choose those which are favourable to your mini poll and will not overfill it. (Sorry for the large amount of suggestions I just love Doctor Who so much.)

wolsey and Myfanwy already in

will add Rose-the-cat, Antranak, Bernard Socks, Group Marshal, Lynx, Splinx, Keepsake's Vulture, Jasper and Stewart, Janet, 2-2

can't seem to find Doctor the cat or the Grandfather's Shadow on TARDIS wiki, but may well add if you can direct me to it (either by telling me what else they might be listed under or sending a link)

Fester Cat appears to be able to read and write, so I'm going to say thats too intelligent, however because he appears to be a literal cat in every other way he might get in if I need an extra contestant

no to Scooby-Doo, no proper reason, just no

[companion-showdown]

Suggestion for freaky little pets: The Slither from The Dalek Invasion of Earth

.

[companion-showdown]

Does HiFi count as a pet?

HiFi yes, Panda no, for the purposes of this tournament we need to understand them as distinct individuals

[companion-showdown]

Marmaduke, the Second Doctors bad luck pet cat.

.

[companion-showdown]

ramsey the vortisaur 🥺 please

(also is mr sweet not intelligent ? i thought that was the whole thing w that ep that he was like. manipulating the old lady or whatever? been a minute since i watched it tho idk)

will be adding ramsay the vortisaur

im fairly sure mr sweet is just like, a parasite, and the plan to use his venom was all Mrs Gillyflower. It's been a minute for me too, so could be wrong