Them reacting to horrible pickup-lines
characters: All Honkai Star Rail Characters (except the kids and Yanqing) x gn!reader
warnings: none
a/n: Someone requested Topaz reacting to a horrible pickup-line. I started thinking about horrible pickup-lines a bit too much and now we’re here.
Anyway, hope you enjoy!
I cannot stress enough how stupid of you it was to even think this was a good idea. Depending on their mood and whether or not you are relevant to whatever agenda they follow, you might escape with nothing but a stern warning and a scornful look. No matter what however, don’t try it again. You will not get off scot free a second time.
Blade
Jingliu
Damn, are you an aircraft engineer? Because whatever sentence you just constructed flew right over their head. Are you joking? Or was either of you suffering from a stroke? It doesn’t matter. Don’t try to explain it, you will undoubtedly make it so much worse. It is best for you if they treat your poor attempt at flirting the same way one might a cryptic message from the gods instead of thinking about it for even a moment longer.
Argenti
Arlan
Bronya
Xueyi
Sushang
Luka
HuoHuo
Lynx
Bravo! Whatever just came out of your mouth will forever be ingrained into their memory, although the reason for it is probably not what you had hoped for. Instead of answering, they just… stare at you until even your least socially adept neuron gets that they were not a fan. For both of yours’ sakes, apologize. And maybe cut it back with the pickup-lines in the future.
Dan Heng
Dr Ratio
Herta
Seele
Fu Xuan
Pela
They don’t have it in their hearts to tell you, but deep down you know your line didn’t pass the vibe-check. Either out of confusion or the simple desire for both of you to just pretend it never happened in the first place, they give you a polite smile and quickly change the topic. Don’t hold it against them, pickup-lines had their charms, but maybe try a bouquet of Flowers next time.
Asta
Welt
Yukong
Hanya
Ruan Mei
Gepard
Natasha
Luocha
That is not a pickup-line. This is a pickup-line. They weren’t about to be outdone at their own game. Pretty savvy when it comes to stringing together the right words themselves they fire back almost immediately, the manner in which they respond enough to make you blink in surprise on its own.
Extra points if it’s somehow worse than yours.
Himeko
Kafka
Argenti
Tingyun
Serval
Whether it’s just an amused chuckle or full-out laughter, you got what you wanted. The thrill of knowing you’d be able to put another skill on your resumeé filling you with enough pride to inflate anyone’s ego… It was your pickup-line they found amusing, wasn’t it?.
Black Swan
Jing Yuan
Guinaifen
Qingque
Topaz
Congratulations, you will never see the day they’ll stop reminding you of your oratory genius. If you change your name, they’ll make it their mission to find you. If you go deaf, they’ll learn sign language. No matter how unpredictable the future was, you get the feeling they’d rather forget their birthday than this.
March 7th
Silverwolf
Sampo
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JY on a MUCH deserved vacation with the astral express and-
March's photography skills are coming quite handy
PS: If silverwolf ever comes across the limited edition stash in blade's phone I think she would 10/10 call him cringe cause ong crusty old yaoi men
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